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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984535">And the Clouds Parted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyLeaf/pseuds/SkyLeaf'>SkyLeaf</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Legend of Zelda &amp; Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Airships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Bedside Vigils, Cynicism, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Families of Choice, Hope, Hope vs. Despair, Idealism, Mutual Pining, Rebellion, Resistance, Sky Pirates, Slow Burn, Trauma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:16:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>302,855</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984535</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyLeaf/pseuds/SkyLeaf</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>To Midna, the world is a set of dichotomies. There is safety and there is danger. The thrill of flying through the clouds and the tense anxiousness of hiding inside the base. But more than anything, the world is divided into the Twilight Realm, a world relegated to the shadows and history, and Hyrule, a world where the sun is reflected by the glint of weaponry.</p>
<p>The world is divided into twos, but as the princess of Hyrule enters into her life, bringing the harsh sun along, the lines between them begin to blur.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ilia &amp; Midna, Ilia/Link (Legend of Zelda), Link &amp; Midna (Legend of Zelda), Midna/Zelda (Legend of Zelda)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a project that I have wanted to work on for a while now but only found the energy for recently, despite my love for both Midna and Zelda as well as steampunk and airships. Hopefully, as I know how the story will end and how the plot will unfold, I should be able to have a new chapter out fairly often, perhaps every other day or so - it depends on what happens to the rest of the world around us, as so many things do.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Had it not been for how she knew that such an idea was ridiculous, Midna would have sworn that she felt the presence of the ship long before it emerged from the sea of clouds below them. However, as she stood there, watching how the ship gradually grew in size as it emerged from the clouds, the balloon itself already being at least double the size of the Shadow, and the bright gold colours that decorated the sides of the ship glittered in the moonlight, the idea of it truly being the case slowly began to feel a little less absurd. After all, if there would ever be a ship they would be able to sense, it would have to be this one, with all the power and glamour that surrounded a ship from the royal fleet.</p>
<p>Perhaps someone else would have felt apprehensive at the sight of the target. Midna certainly would have stopped to wonder if they were about to head directly into their deaths just a few years ago, but now, as she felt the ship below her feet change course to stay hidden from view, she knew that the size of their target was also their biggest advantage. With the cover the balloon provided, they would be able to strike while still retaining the element of surprise. But more importantly, a ship this size meant coal, tons of coal, and provisions enough to last their base for months.</p>
<p>Turning around one last time and making sure not to show how her hands were shaking slightly, she tightened her grip around the gun, letting the feeling of the cold metal calm her as she faced the rest of the crew. “We have located the target!” Midna yelled, confident that the wind howling in her ears would also be enough to drown out her voice and hide it from the waiting soldiers. “Prepare yourself for the attack and do not strike before I give the order to do so! Understood?”</p>
<p>No one answered her, but with how Rusl immediately stepped over to her, already helping to make sure that Jaggle had fastened all the straps correctly, the rest of the crew following right behind him, Midna knew that they had all heard, understood, and, more importantly, agreed to follow her on the mission.</p>
<p>As she climbed up to stand on the narrow space between the relative safety the ship could provide and the fall into the world below with only her faith in the rope that would hopefully not break today but instead stop her fall in time, the familiar sense of adrenaline filling every little part of her almost seemed to make her fears about the future disappear. She could do this. They had done it before and Midna would make sure that they would all live to continue to target the king’s ships another day. When she forced herself not to think about the attack from the soldiers that would no doubt await them the minute they landed on the deck and how the element of surprise would only be able to provide them with a few seconds before their opponents would remember their training and turn their weapons towards them, ready to defend the ship and the royal family whose crest they carried, Midna could almost fool herself into thinking that she was not frightened, that her heart did not beat wildly in her chest as she heard the sounds of almost twenty pairs of feet make contact with the wooden railing, a single gasp escaping one of the new members as they felt the wind threaten to push them if they did not focus on remaining upright. But she was the leader, so although part of her agreed with the man, although she knew that, rationally, what they were doing was madness, Midna simply closed her eyes and granted herself a second to let go of her fears.</p>
<p>She felt how her breathing slowed down, her mind becoming clearer, and by the time she opened her eyes again, Midna knew that, if she had looked up to see where Link was busy fighting the wind to stay in control of the ship, she would find him shooting her a short nod, silently telling her to continue, that she knew what she was doing. However, she did not do that. Instead, Midna bent her knees slightly, ready to jump and move as far away from the ship as possible to lower the risk of her line getting tangled up in someone else’s and waited until the target was directly below them.</p>
<p>“Now!” Midna heard the wind catch the sound her voice, throwing it over to the side, but by then, she had already leapt into the air, leaving both the ship and the limited amount of security it could hold behind.</p>
<p>The feeling of falling through the air was freeing. It was more than sailing through the air, more than having to remain hidden inside the mountain. Cutting through the clouds, keeping her arms close to her body and focusing on her balance, Midna knew that what awaited her could only be one of two things: success or death. And really, despite how she knew that Link and Ilia would no doubt have told her to care about more than that, the simplicity she could find in that thought was exactly what Midna needed each and every time they would find themselves with no other choice but to take to the skies.</p>
<p>However, as it so often was, the moment ended far sooner than what Midna would have liked for it to do, and the next second, she felt the rope behind her tighten, her descent coming to a slow halt as she dangled in the air for a moment before locating the little button.</p>
<p>She fell the last metre, landing on the deck with a soft thud, but by the time the guard next to her had had time to identify the direction of the sound and turn towards her, she was no longer the only pirate on the ship.</p>
<p>Unable to deny the vicious feeling of glee that filled her as a panicked expression flickered across the guard’s face as he seemingly realised how the pirates had been prepared for this, already heading towards the storeroom, only slightly slowed down by the soldier’s attacks, Midna raised her gun and hit him with the metal handle. He barely had time to do more than gasp and close his eyes before he fell over, allowing her to continue on her path forwards.</p>
<p>Running across the deck, Midna could hear how the soldiers were slowly beginning to realise the situation they had found themselves in, orders about surrounding the attackers and defending the cabin flying through the air around her. She did not let it slow her down. Although they were slowly beginning to form a strategy, the surprise had still not quite worn off, giving her plenty of time to make it halfway across the ship before they even thought to direct their attention towards her.</p>
<p>The next second, Midna realised that her pride had blinded her, not making her realise the danger before it rose up to meet her. A guard had stepped in front of her, having seemingly appeared from out of thin air, though Midna suspected that it really had more to do with her having looked over to the starboard side of the ship to make sure that Rusl had the situation under control there.</p>
<p>She barely had time to avoid his attack, ducking under his arm as he aimed a spear at her. In that moment, Midna could not have been more grateful for the fact that chaos had erupted on the ship the moment they had attacked, pirates and soldiers forming one big crowd, for she was sure that it was nothing other than the risk of hitting one of his own that had kept the guard from reaching for the gun hanging by his side. Instead, she was able to barely avoid the tip of the spear, as she instead threw herself to the side and made the split-second decision to run to the right, dancing around one of the soldiers, before sprinting towards the cabin.</p>
<p>She would not be able to reach the storeroom, Midna knew that much. She did not even have to turn around to know from the sound of metal clanking and unknown voices yelling orders that attempting to go through the wall of soldiers was a path that was certain to lead to her own demise. But perhaps there was another way to reach her goal. After all, it would hardly be the first time she would have found a hidden passage from the cabin and into the storeroom, and with how the guards had almost seemed more concerned about protecting the cabin than anything else, Midna was sure that there was something in there of value. The real question was what it would be.</p>
<p>Avoiding yet another guard, Midna soon reached the door, already knowing that it would be locked long before she had even had time to touch the door handle. However, that was not something she could not handle, and after only a few kicks at the door, she could already feel how the wooden planks began to give up under the pressure of the attack. Truly, as she heard one of the planks give way, Midna could not help but wonder how it could be that, despite the pomp and style that had almost seemed to surround the ship when she had looked at it from above, now that she was down here, standing on the deck of it and trying to reach its storeroom, it felt much older than even the Shadow. But she would not complain about not having to reach for her lock picking tool and having to fend off the guards’ attacks while also fighting with the lock, and as Midna moved into the room, making sure to close the door behind her to give herself as much time as possible before the soldiers outside would realise how she had slipped past them, she forced herself to focus on the mission and nothing else.</p>
<p>The room she found herself in was nothing like what she had expected. Of course, given the placement of it and the fact that the guards had seemed intent on protecting the entrance, Midna had assumed that she would enter the captain’s cabin, see a room filled with maps, globes, and other valuables. However, even the idea she had had of the gold that would have decorated the globe paled in comparison with the room.</p>
<p>It was lavish. That was the only word Midna could find to describe the sight that met her, the way the bedsheets seemed to almost glow in the darkness, how a tall bookcase covered almost the entire wall next to her, filled to the brim with books with colourful spines and titles in golden twirls.</p>
<p>Taking another step into the room, the thought that perhaps the ship and this room in particular had been meant for someone other than the captain echoed in Midna’s mind.</p>
<p>Still, it did not matter whose ship she had attacked as long as it ultimately belonged to the king, and so, Midna tore her gaze away from what looked like an open diary that had been left of the desk to instead search the room for a hidden passage to the storeroom. Such a thing had to exist, or at the very least, the room had to hold some kind of valuable secret for her to find. It simply had to; it was the only reason Midna could find that would explain why the guards had seemed more concerned about the risk of Midna and her pirates reaching the cabin than the much more realistic risk of them taking the ship’s entire supply of coal and food.</p>
<p>However, although Midna made sure to inspect the walls, searching for a spot where a knock resulting in a hollow sound might give her a clue as to the presence of a secret room, she could not find the reason for the soldier’s insistence on protecting the cabin. Outside, the sounds of fighting continued, the soldiers having seemingly managed to somewhat organise a counterattack if the sounds of their leader’s orders and the panicked response were any indication.</p>
<p>She was running out of time. Before long, she would have no choice but to leave the room and to make her way back to the deck and then hope that she would be able to fasten the straps and let herself be pulled back onto the Shadow before the guards would have time to attack her, and yet, even as she felt the seconds slip away from her, Midna could not quite let go of the feeling that she was missing something, something important.</p>
<p>It was not until she turned around, halfway about to head back outside to help the rest of the crew fight their way back to the harnesses when they would emerge from the storeroom, that it all slid into place. The bookcase was right there in front of her, and Midna almost felt like she was being pulled towards it. Now that she had begun to ponder the possibility of there being more than just a display of wealth and knowledge behind the presence of the books, it seemed almost strange that she had not thought about it before.</p>
<p>Letting her hands brush against the spines of the books, Midna tried her best to figure out where she would have hid a secret, which book would contain the key to the secret of the room. Would it be the one on the subject of geography or the novel?</p>
<p>In the end, however, it was neither the title nor the appearance of any of the books that gave away the location of the secret. Rather, it was the warmth Midna noticed around the middle of the bookcase. The difference in temperature was not extreme, and Midna was certain that had it not been for how she was searching specifically for something that looked out of place, she would not have noticed it, but the subtle difference was enough to make her pause and inspect the area more closely.</p>
<p>The warmth seemed to come from somewhere behind the bookcase, around the area just a little bit lower than where her eyes would have landed if she had simply glanced at the bookcase, perhaps being the result of warm water flowing through pipes right behind the wall. Or—and Midna had a feeling that it would be the reason—it could be the result of someone not having been able to cover up a secret opening mechanism, some of the warmth from steam that fuelled it escaping into the cabin.</p>
<p>It barely took Midna more than half a minute to find the right book, the resistance it provided letting her know that, unlike those around it, the atlas was not meant to be read, and the next second, an entire section of the bookcase swung open, revealing a narrow passage behind it.</p>
<p>Casting a glance at the door behind her where the ruined lock would surely alert a soldier to the fact that she had slipped by them soon, Midna stepped into the corridor and tried her best not to allow herself to feel trapped as the door closed behind her. It was fine, she was in control, and soon, she would be in the storeroom, ready to grab as much as she could carry. At least that was what she told herself as she turned left, following the sharp turn of the passage. Although lamps lined the top of the wall to her right, flooding the passage with light, as Midna began to hurry forward, she was not quite able to distract herself with the thoughts of how she would be back on her own ship in just a couple of minutes, this time with the knowledge that she would be able to surprise everyone at home with the news of how she had found yet another secret entrance to a storeroom. There was simply something about it all that did not feel right, an uneasy feeling twisting painfully in her stomach as she held her breath, careful not to make a sound.</p>
<p>The floor below her began to slope slightly, the sign that she had been right about it leading to the storeroom making Midna quicken her pace while trying to keep track of time. If she had counted correctly, she only had about five minute left until she had to be back on deck, ready for Link to steer the ship upwards, or else she would be left behind.</p>
<p>Perhaps it was the fear of finding herself abandoned that made her forget how she had to first listen to make sure she would not be met with an unfortunate surprise before opening the door that awaited her at the end of the passageway. Midna didn’t truly know the reason for why she opened the door without waiting to ensure that it would be safe, nor did it matter in that moment, as she threw open the door, fully expecting to have reached the storeroom, only to instead find herself face to face with another woman.</p>
<p>For a moment, all Midna could do was to stare, her mind trying its best to make sense of what she was seeing. But no matter how much she tried to force herself to realise the connection, she could not figure out what the woman in front of her was doing on the ship. With her intricate hairstyle, the lace that lined the nightgown and the deep, red colour of the shawl she had thrown over her shoulders, she looked so unlike the soldiers they had met up on the deck that Midna would not have been surprised if she was imagining things. However, even though she blinked, the woman was still there, looking at her with the same bewildered expression that Midna was sure she would find reflected in her own eyes.</p>
<p>It was the other woman who was the first to break the silence between them. Tilting her head to the side ever so slightly, she reached up to pull her shawl tighter around her. “Who are you?” she asked, knitting her brows. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Midna did not get the chance to answer before the sound of a yell and the thud of someone falling over on the deck above them made both of them look up towards the ceiling. Midna could tell from the way the woman froze for a fraction of a second that she was not the only one who was at once acutely aware of what was happening.</p>
<p>Still, that did not prepare her for the fire that was visible in the other woman’s eyes as she looked back at her, looking at once frightened and furious as the tense silence was brought to an end to instead be replaced by a voice that held the slightly melodic edge of the dialect of the capital as the woman spoke again. “You! You are a pirate, you are the reason my guards instructed me to hide!” she yelled, the accusations coming rapidly, and had it not been for how the disappointment that it seemed that this woman really was all the cabin had been hiding was still hanging above Midna, she might have bothered to feel angry.</p>
<p>However, in that moment, all she could do was to wonder who this woman was, what made her so important that the soldiers outside had seemingly cared more about her than whether or not they would be able to return to the capital, why there had been a hidden passage built into the ship for seemingly no other reason than to protect this stranger.</p>
<p>It did not appear that the fact that she was standing in front of the person responsible for planning the attack on the ship had dawned on the woman yet, for she continued, letting go of the shawl to instead plant herself in front of Midna, a sight that would perhaps have been intimidating had it not been for the fact that Midna was still standing directly in front of the door and that, even if that had not been the case, she was certain she would easily have been able to shove the woman in front of her aside. “I know the reason for why you are here, but I must inform you that I will not allow you to harm anyone on this ship. They are here because of me, so I demand that you will let them leave without any injuries.”</p>
<p>Midna was not quite sure what it was that made her finally realise just who she had found. Perhaps it was her way of speaking, the way her upbringing had clearly been spent in the presence of several tutors, the rupees that had been spent on her education evident in the way she spoke and looked at Midna, though she supposed it could just as well have been the way she did not seem to realise that she was not in a position where she would be able to give orders, thinking that it mattered to any of them what she thought about the attack. But in that moment, she knew that she was not just standing in front of any noblewoman who had decided to leave her guards to fend for themselves while she would hide. No, she was standing in front of Princess Zelda herself.</p>
<p>For a second, Midna did not know whether to laugh or to cry. Here she was, having wasted so much time thinking that she might have found another entrance into the storeroom, and then the only thing she had achieved was meeting the princess and once again getting to know how the royal family seemed to believe that their status was enough for everyone to obey their every word. Now, she not only had to handle to issue of just how she would be able to make her way back out of the room, her only hope being that none of the guards had figured out that she had found the princess, for if it came to a fight, Midna knew that she would not be able to escape from the narrow passage, all she had got for her troubles had been a meeting with the princess.</p>
<p>However, as she looked back up at the princess and saw the expectant look in her eyes, the way her gaze had landed on the gun that hung from Midna’s belt, she knew that she would have to react, give her a response. Turning around and sprinting back out of the room would be the same as giving in to the royal family after all, and so, Midna made sure to imitate the slightly nasal sound of the dialect that seemed so common among members of the court and nobility as she looked at the princess, shooting her a cold glare. “You have nothing to worry about, Your Royal Highness. Unlike the tyrant sitting on the throne of Hyrule, I am not a murderer.”</p>
<p>The short curtsey was an afterthought more than anything else, and by the time Midna had let her expression show the princess exactly what she thought of her, she had already halfway turned around, using the adrenaline to allow herself to run far quicker than she had thought possible.</p>
<p>Behind her, she could her how the sounds of fabric swishing gave away the fact that the princess was trying to follow her, but Midna did not care enough to let it hinder her escape. If the princess wanted to learn what really happened when her guards told her to hide, she would be more than welcome to follow her, so she simply ignored how the princess shouted for her to slow down, demanding an explanation.</p>
<p>The fact that she was able to somehow make her way back to the cabin to find that it was still empty felt like it had required far more luck than what she deserved, and as she threw open the door to cross the deck, Midna made sure to keep her gun ready, halfway expecting for it to have been a part of the soldiers’ strategy, a way for the them to lead her into a trap. But it seemed that they were just as busy trying to catch the rest of the crew as they had been when she had first left the fight behind to enter the cabin, for she was able to grab the harness, quickly pulling the straps around her shoulders and fastening them, without having to do more than to parry a couple of clumsy attacks from a guard who seemed like he was several years younger than her, unable to put much strength behind his movements.</p>
<p>Around her, Midna saw how almost everyone else had their bags filled to the brim, placing them on the little hook next to them as they danced around the guards while securing the straps. Though she tried her best, she was not able to ignore the pangs of guilt at the thought of how she seemed to be the only one who had not managed to take anything at all.</p>
<p>But as Rusl finally made it over to them, only barely having time to put on the harness before they were pulled away from the ship, at least the task of ignoring her aching muscles to instead curl up, making it harder for the soldiers to spot her against the dark night sky, at least Midna could find comfort in the fact that they had all made it, that all the people she had looked at fifteen minutes ago were now being pulled back up into the sky and onto the ship next to her. After all, was that not what Uli had tried to tell her, that the important thing was that they all made it back home?</p>
<p>Although she did not quite agree with that observation and had pointed out the fact that they would still need food and fuel even if they all made it back, it did provide her with a little comfort and Link helped her back onto the Shadow and she had to confess to him that she had returned empty-handed.</p>
<p>Even as she tried her best, she must not have been to completely hide the disappointment and shame, for Link pulled her into a quick hug before she got the chance to head into her cabin to finally get a chance to rest.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?” he asked as she loosened the straps and slipped out of the harness.</p>
<p>“I will be.” Midna answered with a shrug. For a moment, she considered if she should tell Link about how she had met the princess, but before she got the chance to say anything, Link had already patted her shoulder and continued over towards Rusl.</p>
<p>Forcing a smile onto her face, Midna tried to keep her head down to avoid the risk of anyone asking her about what she had managed to grab while she made her way over to her cabin. Perhaps it was the cowardly thing to do, but it was easier than having to face the disappointment of those around her when they would see how she had not managed to bring back anything other than the story of meeting the princess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They returned home to the base before dawn.</p>
<p>Although she knew that it would not be the case, as she thought about her own failure, Midna found herself almost wishing that she would be able to slip by undetected, to simply be able to stay in her cabin instead of having to face everyone around her while admitting that she had allowed herself to become distracted by the idea of finding a great secret hidden away inside a ship from the royal fleet. It would only delay the moment where she would inevitably have to admit to herself that she had not been able to fulfil her role in the mission, but with how she had only barely managed to get a few hours of sleep before Link came to her to let her know that it was her turn to steer the ship, those few hours of rest would have been nice.</p>
<p>Instead of getting that, Midna landed the ship inside the base, only to be met with the sight of the rest of their little group having gathered to welcome them. Normally, it would perhaps have been nice, but now, it was only the fact that Link, having seemingly noticed what she was about to do, slung an arm around her shoulders that kept her from running back into her cabin.</p>
<p>“It will be fine, Midna,” he whispered to her as they made their way over to where Rusl was already in the process of lowering down the rope ladder to allow them to reach the floor, “no one is blaming you for anything—they are all just happy that we made it back alive.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know. I just… I feel like I should have been able to do more, you know?” it would appear that he did not know, for Link only looked over at her, confusion apparent in the way he cocked his head, prompting her to continue. “I don’t know if it is just because that is how it usually is, but I can’t help but to expect that I will always be the one of us who comes home with the most food every time.” even as she said it, Midna could hear how illogical the idea was, but the sound of Link chuckling next to her still warmed a little as they moved over to the side of the ship.</p>
<p>Swinging her legs over the handrail, Midna soon reached the ground, with Link jumping the last metre before running over to join her. Around them, Midna could hear the sounds of families reuniting, those who were either still not ready or able to come along on the missions hurrying to find their loved ones, but although she was at least a head taller than everyone around her, she could not spot the familiar sight of Ilia’s blonde hair anywhere in the crowd.</p>
<p>Next to her, it seemed that Link had reached the same conclusion, as he took her hand to slow her down before looking up at her. “I can’t see Ilia anywhere,” he said, having to raise his voice as Colin let out an excited yell before running over towards Rusl, Uli following right behind him, hand on her stomach as she paused to send them a short smile, “do you think that she might not have noticed that we returned?”</p>
<p>“Doubting it. With that landing, I am sure that everyone in the entire base knows that we are here again. But I am sure that everyone here would be more than happy to help the two of you find each other, especially considering how much time you have spent apart from one another—”</p>
<p>Link grabbed her arm before she had even got the chance to turn around and pretend to walk over towards Rusl and his family. “Yes, thank you, but I don’t think that it will be necessary. Let’s just wait for her to come find us,” he said, the words practically bleeding into one long sound.</p>
<p>Allowing herself a moment to shake her head at how her comment had made him blush, Midna’s thoughts soon returned to a more serious matter as she glanced back towards her ship.</p>
<p>With the faint trace of the crest of the ancient royal family of the Twilight Realm still visible on the side of it where time and weather still had not quite been able to make the colours fade away, it should not have come as a surprise to her that the ship was larger than any of the ships they usually attacked, the ones that belonged to merchants they had seen sell to the royal family, but somehow the sight of it always managed to overwhelm her when she would look at it while standing on the ground, making it so that she had to spend a moment simply trying to take in the fact that they had to be able to continue to find fuel for the steam engine to offset the cost of yet another mission. Midna wouldn’t dare to think about the consequences, of what would happen the day they would no longer be able to be lifted up into the sky to take back what was theirs. And yet, it seemed that now, after the disappointment she had been during the recent mission, she had no choice but to come to terms with the fact that she had to face the reality around her.</p>
<p>Midna tried her best to keep her voice from shaking as she looked back at Link, but with how he stopped smiling the instant she opened her mouth, she knew that she had not succeeded. “Do you know how much we were able to take?”</p>
<p>The fact that Link hesitated alone would have been enough for Midna to know that she would not like the answer, and yet, it still felt like someone had punched her in the stomach as he finally answered. “I think I heard Jaggle say that we just barely got enough coal to make up for what we used during the mission.” With how be reached up to rub the back of his neck, Midna was all too aware of how there was no ‘think’ about that. He really had heard it. Still, she had asked to hear the truth, so as Link continued, she tried her best to keep her face somewhat neutral. “As for food, we got a little of everything—some salted meat, mushrooms, wheat, and rice. And,” Link leant in, and for the first time, his eyes shone a bit as he smiled, “don’t tell the children, but Rusl even managed to grab a jar of honey.”</p>
<p>Despite her sour mood, Midna had to admit that it was quite the news. Honey. That meant meat that had laid in honey at dinner, something to soothe the children’s throats once winter hit them, perhaps even a cake if they were lucky and made sure not to waste anything.</p>
<p>Casting a glance back towards Rusl, Midna considered walking over to thank him, but he seemed preoccupied with his family already, if how he lifted Colin up before hugging his wife was any indication. Besides, if he had wanted to tell her about the honey, Midna was sure he would have done so when he had gone over to stand next to her at the helm, looking at the stars above them for a few minutes before he handed her a little sack filled with some of the things he had managed to take. It must have been his way of trying to make her feel better, or at least that was what Midna had assumed since he had left without saying a word to her about his reasons. She had been thankful of that then and she still was, so she would not ruin it by walking over to him and begin a conversation about the mission. At least that was what Midna told herself in an attempt to deny the possibility of it all being caused by pity over how she had not even been able to grab a single bottle of milk during the mission. As much as it would no doubt have curdled within days, it would still have been better than nothing, but she had not even been able to find the bare minimum.</p>
<p>It was the sound of Ilia shouting Link’s name that finally made Midna shake her head, pushing the dark thoughts away.</p>
<p>Looking up, she saw Ilia leaning over the railing that separated the walkway connecting each side of the base with each other from a two metre fall, her short hair being caught by the wind as she sprinted over towards their side of the room, taking the stairs two steps at a time. Had she looked over at Link, Midna knew that she would have witnessed every sign of fatigue disappear in an instant to instead make way for pure joy as he responded by shouting her name. As Ilia ran through the crowd between the stairs and the two of them, she made sure to take a step backwards the make way for her, something Ilia did not waste as she reached them, instead throwing her arms around Link’s neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek before laughing as he spun her around.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure that you had really got back already,” she said as he placed her back down, the two of them still not letting go of each other, “Beth said that it probably was nothing, so it wasn’t until we noticed that everyone had left that we realised that you had actually returned. Oh, and Midna, welcome back! ” it seemed that was the moment where Ilia finally noticed Midna as well, for, letting go of Link, she pulled her into a tight hug that was almost enough to allow Midna to forget about how she had failed the mission by instead searching for a non-existent secret passage into the storeroom, listening to Ilia’s voice through it all as it reached her, loud and excited. “How was the mission? Did anyone get hurt?” not giving them even a moment to answer, Ilia continued. “I hope not, but father told me that although you try your best not to let anything happen, we have to be prepared for anything.”</p>
<p>“Your father is right, but don’t worry, we won’t let anything happen to anyone during these missions, not as long as we are still able to act,” Link said, his words making Ilia let go of Midna to instead rest her head against his shoulder.</p>
<p>Feeling slightly out of place as she stood there, almost like she was intruding rather than simply spending time with two of her friends, Midna was almost relieved to have an excuse to interrupt them. Reaching into the pockets of the coat she had slung over her while standing at the helm, she cleared her throat, making sure she had caught their attention before she handed the little piece of metal that had been in the sack over to Ilia. “Here, I thought you might need this for Epona.”</p>
<p>As Ilia took what to Midna looked like a metal pipe with the same amount of gentleness as Midna might have shown if she had been handling the weapons, Link shoot Midna a look, the way he raised his brows slightly along with the hint of a smile letting her know that he was aware of how she was only waiting for the opportunity to leave.</p>
<p>Apparently, Ilia had not noticed any of it, for she looked up at Midna with a bright smile as she shoved the metal into a pocket in her belt. “Thank you! I think it was just what I needed, actually. Did you find it aboard the ship?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Midna answered, deciding that there was no need to inform Ilia of how she had not actually been the one to find it, that Rusl had handed it to her, “it was lying in the storeroom, and it looked like it might once have been a part of an engine, so I decided to bring it back home, just in case you might find a use for it in your project.” she would not have said that she had expected for Ilia to thank her, but even then, Midna would have lied if she tried to claim that she did not find Ilia’s reaction, the way she bit her lip and stared at the piece of metal, strange. “Ilia,” she tried, “is anything wrong?”</p>
<p>“No,” Ilia said, but with how she let the word trail off while looking at the pipe with a gaze so intense that Midna would not have been surprised if it had melted in her hands it was not at all convincing, “it is just… this part, I have been searching for it for months now, and from what I remember, it is quite rare. So for it to just be lying around… well, it is a bit weird, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>It was Link rather than Midna who answered the question.</p>
<p>“Perhaps,” he said with a little shrug, “but if it means that you will be able to finish Epona, does it really matter? I mean, the guards were not exactly organised nor were they prepared for our attack, so I don’t really think that there is anything strange about the fact that they did not keep track of their things.”</p>
<p>But although Midna could hear how he was clearly trying his best to convince not just her and Ilia but himself as well, she had to admit that Ilia was right. A ship with a hidden passage leading into a room for the princess to hide in, but with soldiers who for the most part seemed unprepared and with spare parts lying around—there was something about it that she did not like, something that made her feel almost like she had failed to notice something.</p>
<p>From how Ilia did not look up from the piece of metal, Midna could see that she was not the only one who was still not convinced by Link’s explanation. However, before she got the chance to think of an explanation, Ilia let out a sigh and placed the pipe in one of her pockets before shaking her head. “Probably. I might also be overthinking things; I have been working on Epona all night so I am quite tired right now. Speaking of which, would you like to go look at her?” although she looked at both of them as she asked, Midna got the feeling that the offer was meant more for Link than her, and as Ilia continued, her words only strengthened that feeling. “I just finished working on the keel, and I would like for you to see it.”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course,” Link replied, his voice filled with enthusiasm that Midna was sure wasn’t only due to the ship, before he turned towards her, “What about you, Midna, would you like to come along as well?”</p>
<p>From the look in his eyes, it was easy to tell what he hoped her answer would be, and the knowledge that the two of them would enjoy each other’s company just fine without her did make it easier for Midna to send Ilia an apologetic look as she shook her head. “No, I am sorry, but I think I need a few hours to myself. But I hope you’ll find the ship interesting Link, I really do.”</p>
<p>Ilia, for her part, was able to somewhat hide her joy as she took Link’s hand and began to walk across the hangar, but as he followed along beside her, Link sent Midna a short smile, making it so that she did not have to spend too much time wondering what he might have whispered to Ilia as he leant over towards her.</p>
<p>So instead of doing that, Midna cast a quick glance around her. It seemed that while the three of them had been busy discussing the reasons as to how Rusl had been able to find the spare part, the others had returned to their own rooms, or had at least gone somewhere other than the hangar, for even as she leant back a little to be able to look at the area in front of the stern, she still did not see anyone. But even though she knew that she should have been happy that she would now be able to head back into her cabin without anyone asking if she was all right, Midna could not quite let go of a feeling of loneliness, the wish for someone to have been there to wait for her gnawing at her heart as she placed her foot on the lowest step of the rope ladder, forcing herself to pour every last bit of energy she might otherwise have wasted on pondering what it could mean into pulling herself up onto the ship as quickly as possible. Wondering what might have been if Ilia and Link had not grown closer, if they still shared the same friendship that had blossomed between them back when they had first met, was, after all, a waste of time, achieving nothing but keeping her awake at night. And right now, with how much her eyes hurt and how she had to pause for a moment to make sure that she would not fall over when she opened the door to her cabin, that was the last thing Midna needed.</p>
<p>But it seemed that she had not been able to convince her mind of that, for as she lay in her bed and waited for sleep to finally come to her, her thoughts kept circling back to the princess she had met aboard the ship, stubbornly refusing to give in to her attempts at forcing herself to forget about the display of the results of a royal upbringing filled to the brim with pampering and the belief that the king of Hyrule really was the most important person in the world.</p>
<p>There was something about the way she had looked at her while demanding for them to not let any harm come to the soldiers that made it feel like Midna had missed something, something important. But no matter how many times she thought she had finally reached a conclusion, the answer slipped away from her again, and before long, it seemed that the lack of sleep was finally enough to balance the need for answers, finally granting her a moment of peace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just as Midna had predicted, the jar of honey meant that when she made her way into the larder the next day, only to be stopped by Uli who handed her a bowl of porridge with a smile before walking over to the dining hall with her, giving Midna no choice but to eat with everyone else, her breakfast was sweeter than it had been before.</p>
<p>Sending Uli a quick glance, Midna already knew what the reason for that was, how Uli had surely used an entire spoonful of honey just on her, perhaps even more than that.</p>
<p>She should have said something. It would have been the right thing to do, to tell Uli that she was perfectly fine and that they should try to save the honey for a moment where they really needed it so that they would not find themselves unable to soothe anyone’s sore throat, but for some reason, the thought that Uli had been willing to waste the honey on her made her eyes sting slightly as a lump formed in her throat, making her unable to force out the words. During all the time where she had known her, she had never seen Uli waste resources like that, not even for Colin, so that she had done this, Midna could almost not understand. Looking down at her bowl of porridge, she did her best to ignore how she had to blink faster, instead focusing on how the sweetness the honey added made to the meal her feel just a tiny bit better.</p>
<p>Thankfully, Link arrived, swinging his legs over the bench to sit next to her, before she was finished with her bowl, saving her from having to figure out what she could say to Uli.</p>
<p>Still, not even the fact that she could almost feel how she tried her best to wordlessly tell him not to draw attention to her seemed to be enough to keep Link and Uli from communicating, for although they did not exchange a single word, Midna could tell that their quick glances held an entire conversation. If she had been able to focus on anything other than doing her best not to let the salty taste of tears ruin her breakfast, she might even have been able to figure out what they were saying, but as it was, Midna was content to just let them continue their wordless conversation without her.</p>
<p>In the end, it seemed that they had reached some kind of agreement, as Uli got up the next second, and left with a quick goodbye.</p>
<p>As soon as the doors to the dining hall closed behind her, Link leant in closer towards Midna, and with a voice that was barely louder than a whisper, he brought an end to the silence she had otherwise let herself descend into. “Hey, Midna, I was just thinking about something just now,” he whispered, but it was not until he let out a sight that Midna realised how he had been waiting for some kind of response to that statement, but at least he did not sound offended as he continued, “have you felt lonely lately?”</p>
<p>The sheer surprise that followed the question was almost enough to make Midna choke on her porridge. It was nothing other than a quick cough that kept her from having to face the embarrassment of that. “No,” she said, once she was fairly certain she would not risk anything by answering, “no, I have not. Why do you ask?”</p>
<p>Link squirmed in his seat slightly, clearly wishing that he had never asked her at all. “It is just… I realised after I had left you yesterday to go look at Epona that Ilia and I abandoned you. And, well, I wanted to apologise for that, but I also just… wanted to make sure that you were all right.”</p>
<p>Normally, Midna might have let out a short laugh and said something to deny all of it, making sure that her tone of voice would not leave any doubts about whether or not it was a good idea to ask again. But perhaps her failure to do just that was due to how she had not really been able to sleep, or maybe it was the fact that she had still not figured out why the soldiers had allowed a piece of metal to just be right there for them to take. No matter what, fact was that she for some reason could not find the energy to put up her normal façade. Instead, she shrugged and tried to recall the way the honey had tasted. Somehow, it seemed to make it easier to find the words to form an answer without crying.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t think so,” she began, trying her best to walk the fine line between outright lying and simply attempting to do her best to protect the base and everyone in it, “I mean, I have you and Ilia, I have Rusl, Uli, and Colin—everyone in the base. So, really, why would I be lonely?” she could not quite tell if the question had been meant for Link or for herself, and bit her lip to make sure that she would not accidentally answer it.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I was just wondering if you weren’t… distancing yourself from everyone else a little bit. I mean, you are the only one who lives alone—”</p>
<p>“You live alone as well,” Midna countered.</p>
<p>At that, Link let out a little laugh, but it was evident from the way he did not look away from her for even a moment and how tense he was that it was more of a way to continue the conversation than anything else. “Yes, I do, but I only sleep alone. Really, I live with everyone else the rest of the time. You, however, sleep and seem to eat most of your meals inside the cabin of the ship, and although I know that that room must mean a lot to you—”</p>
<p>He did not get the chance to finish the sentence, as Midna had already interrupted him, hearing how her eagerness to stop him from continuing made her voice just a bit shriller than it usually was as she fixed him with a cold glare that she was not able to keep from bleeding into her voice as she spoke up. “It has nothing to do with any of that. And, really, if there is any distance between me and everyone else, it is due to the fact that you all seem to treat me differently than everyone else, like I am some kind of royalty.” the word caught in her throat, but she knew that Link had still heard it from how he reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. Those tears, if only she could tell herself to stop crying, then this conversation would be over in minutes. However, as much as she wished that the opposite had been the case, she could feel how a tear escaped from the corner of her eye.</p>
<p>“Hey, no one has said anything about you. I was just worried for my friend—that is all it was.” Link leant in towards her, and Midna could tell how much he was hoping for it to be the moment where she would finally admit the truth.</p>
<p>It did make her feel guilty to known that she was letting him down, but it was still easier to handle than actually having to face any of the things he had told her, so, brushing his hand aside with a quick motion, Midna stood up. “I think I should get going now,” she said, grabbing the bowl, “I have things to do and I am sure that you do as well.”</p>
<p>She did not give him the chance to reply to that, instead hurrying out of the dining hall, for once grateful for the fact that she was the only one who seemed to prefer eating alone as the presence of the rest of their little group was no doubt what kept Link from trying to continue the conversation by simply calling out after her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She found Ilia sitting in the exact same spot where she had found her almost every day for the past year: in front of Epona. But where the ship had once been little more than a couple of planks, a few scraps of metal, an entire wall filled with drawings of how Ilia had planned to build the ship, and calculations that Midna could barely follow taking up almost every last centimetre of space on the papers that lay scattered over the floor, as Midna brushed aside the old bedsheet Ilia had used to build a little workroom for herself in one end of the hangar, she was met with the sight of what could very well have been an actual ship. As it stood there, with the mainsail lying as a piece of carefully folded fabric on the deck and the helm now being complete, it wasn’t difficult for Midna to imagine how the second ship, although much smaller than the Shadow, would be able to help them, granting them the ability to not have to decide whether or not they would head out for a mission even though it would make it impossible for them to act in time if another village was attacked each time they found themselves needing something.</p>
<p>However, no matter how impressive the ship was, it was not the reason for why Midna had headed towards the hangar immediately after leaving the dining hall. No, it required for her to walk around the ship, reaching the bow to finally be able to sit down on the floor and look over at where Ilia was busy drawing something on a piece of paper. From the look of it, Midna was almost entirely sure that she was attempting to figure out just how she was supposed to secure the steam engine with the resources she had at her disposal, but despite how she had spent most of her life on a ship, she soon had to admit that she was not able to understand most of the words Ilia had written next to her drawings or why half of them had seemingly been thrown aside already, the drawings and words obscured by a few angry lines.</p>
<p>Perhaps the amount of work Midna could see present in the discarded drawings was the reason for why she sat down fully prepared to have to wait for hours before Ilia would have time to talk with her and listen to her worries. However, she had hardly got the chance to even make herself comfortable before Ilia looked up, coming to a sudden halt in the middle of what looked like it was a series of calculations to determine the amount of weight the ship could carry, and without giving Midna a moment to tell her that she was fine, how she could wait for Ilia to finish what she was working on, she had placed the fountain pen on the ground and crawled over to sit next to her.</p>
<p>“So,” Ilia began, moving just a tiny bit closer to Midna so that their shoulders would have touched if she had leant even slightly to the side, “from the expression on your face, I am thinking that you came here for other reasons than to admire Epona and to congratulate me on my work.”</p>
<p>Despite how Midna had gone there determined to get some answers and not to allow herself to become distracted, a laugh escaped her. “Yes, I, uh, I came here to talk with you about something other than Epona. Not that it isn’t pretty,” Midna said. As she glanced at the smooth surface of the ship, she knew that it was true. Epona truly was beautiful, and for a second, she could almost imagine what the Shadow might have looked like back when it had still been used by the royal family of the Twilight Realm, back when such a thing had still existed, the idea of such a thing almost seeming to drag the rest of the sentence out of her as she added, “but I did actually have something I want to talk with you about, just, you know, to listen to what you thought about it.”</p>
<p>She thought she had done her best to make it sound careless, but with how Ilia’s smile faltered for a moment before she was able to nod and smile, Midna knew that she had not managed to achieve the intended result.</p>
<p>Still, she had to admit that Ilia was a much better actress than Midna would have been in the same situation, for she gestured in the direction of where most of the communal rooms in the base were located as she cocked her head. “Well, I am sure that everyone else would have been happy if you had come to finally listen to me ramble about Epona. To tell the truth I think that I have already annoyed almost everyone else, but, hey, as long as I am building a ship that will be able to help us all, I should be able to tell them about it. But, to return to you, what was it that you wanted to talk with me about?”</p>
<p>Midna had tried her best to figure out what she would say while making her way over to the hangar, repeating the words to herself inside her head so that she would not find herself denying that she would like to talk with someone the way she had done at breakfast, and yet, she still found that what she ended up saying was completely unlike what she had rehearsed. Gone where the carefully chosen words that would be ambiguous enough for her to be able to deny it if Ilia guessed her real reason for coming here, instead making way for what she had really wanted to ask the entire time.</p>
<p>“Ilia, do I seem lonely?”</p>
<p>From how Ilia froze for a second before looking over at her, Midna already had an idea about what the answer to her question would be, but she still stayed quiet, allowing Ilia to open and close her mouth a couple of times before she seemingly found the right words, sending her a concerned look as she responded. “If you look lonely?” the little nod Midna sent her only made Ilia raise her eyebrows, her glance flickering back towards Epona. “Why do you ask? Has anything happened?”</p>
<p>“No... it is just that, well, Link asked me if I was lonely while I was eating breakfast, and now I cannot help but wonder if that is something everyone here has been thinking about as well. I wouldn’t like it if I began to feel like people only talked to me because they thought that I was lonely, so I just have to know if this is something a lot of people have been thinking about.” already, she could hear how her voice gave the truth away, revealing how the nonchalance really was nothing but a mask.</p>
<p>Ilia was silent for far longer than what Midna would have liked, a thoughtful look in her eyes. It was not until Midna had halfway decided to repeat the question that she finally answered, and even then, Midna could not tell if the fact that she reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her face had been due to her hair actually being out of place or if it was simply to give herself a few seconds where Midna would not be able to see her face.</p>
<p>“About that,” Ilia began, speaking slowly, “I don’t think that a lot of people are thinking that you look lonely. I mean, Uli and Rusl have asked me a couple of times if I know why you prefer to eat inside your cabin, but it is not something many people talked about. As for whether or not I think you seem lonely, well,” Ilia shot her a long glance, and Midna could not help but feel like there was something she was missing, something hidden just below the surface that she could not read, “I can’t tell you whether or not you really are lonely—you are the only one who can do that—but with everything I have seen, I would say that you might be.” seemingly knowing what Midna’s reaction to that would be, Ilia had already reached to grab her hand long before Midna was able to push herself up from the floor. “Midna, if this is about the mission, I just want to tell you that you are the only one who thinks badly of you for it. I talked with Link about it and do you know what he said?” Ilia did not give her the chance to answer before she had already done it for her. “He told me that you were the first one to jump, that you made sure that everyone was ready. Rusl told me the same thing. As for myself, I know that all we can really hope for is for everyone to return home after a mission. You did that, you made sure everyone came home again, and that is enough.”</p>
<p>Had it not been for how she could see Ilia’s eyes grow shiny, Midna was not sure what her reaction to that would have been. Truth to be told, over the last day, she had almost been able to make herself forget about the disaster she had been during the mission, pushing it towards the back of her mind to instead make space for the fact that her stomach ached every time she thought about the hidden room and the way Ganondorf had seemingly managed to convince everyone of how they were nothing but pirates, only there to steal from the people of Hyrule the moment he knew he had succeeded. But as Ilia mentioned the failure of a mission, the guilt was quick to push through all of that, making itself heard above it.</p>
<p>“I know, I know,” Midna mumbled, and although she tried her best, she was not able to keep a sharp edge from seeping into her voice, “no one is disappointed, they all look at me and see a leader, I know.”</p>
<p>Of course that was not enough to convince Ilia, Midna knew that already before Ilia had tightened her grip around her hand, pulling her a bit closer towards her.</p>
<p>“Listen, Midna,” Ilia said, letting her voice drop until it was barely more than a whisper, “everyone here owes you their life. I promise you that no matter what you might think, you really are the only who is still thinking about that mission, do you understand?” she did not let go, and at last, Midna found herself with no choice other than to nod. A satisfied look flickered over Ilia’s face as she continued. “Good. Now, can you also promise me something? No matter how you might already be planning to show everyone that you can still find more coal and food than anyone else in this base, during your next mission, you will not try to do anything reckless just to prove your worth, you will not run directly into danger if you can find a way to avoid it. Will you promise me that? Will you promise that you will return home with everyone else even if it means not having found anything?”</p>
<p>“It seems to me like you should also make Link promise the same thing,” Midna said, but the smirk felt fake and it was no wonder why. As she sat there, with Epona next to her and Ilia clutching her hand as tightly as she had done the night Midna and Link had first met her, Midna already knew that she would not be able to say no.</p>
<p>“I made him promise me the same thing ages ago. Back then, you seemed a bit more… I don’t know, composed, so I thought that he was the only one I needed to hear repeat those words. But now… I am not so sure anymore.”</p>
<p>The way she could hear that Ilia was not simply pretending to be concerned, that she was not only saying it because she felt obligated to care the way Midna somehow felt was the case with some of the other residents, was almost more than she could bear, so, making sure that she would not lose control of her voice, Midna nodded at her. “Of course I won’t do anything stupid, you have nothing to worry about.” she could feel that it was not enough the moment the last word had left her mouth, with Ilia’s raised brows only confirming it, so she continued. “I just… something happened during the mission—”</p>
<p>Immediately, Ilia let go of her hand, jumping up from the floor. “What happened—are you hurt?” she did not give Midna a chance to answer, already moving closer, almost touching her arm to look for wounds before looking back up at her face. “Is it the ship—do you need me to look at it? Farore, it is about one of the others, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Normally, Midna would perhaps have brushed it all aside, trying her best not to feel annoyed, but now, as she shook her head, the relief the sight of the familiar reaction brought her was freeing. “No, no one is hurt, and the ship is perfectly fine as well. It is about…” searching for the words to explain what had happened, Midna forced herself to think back to the first thing on the ship that had given her a feeling that something was not right, “the reason I wasn’t able to find anything was not that the soldiers kept me from being able to reach the storeroom—or, well, I mean, it was, but by the time I had realised that I would not be able to get past them, I did not just wait there for the others to return.”</p>
<p>“But then what did you do?”</p>
<p>“Made my way over to where I thought I would find the captain’s cabin. I thought that I would perhaps be able to find something in there we could use and that, if nothing else, it would provide me with a chance to slip by the guards and avoid having to fight for my life until the rest of the crew would return.” Midna looked down at her hands, and although she supposed that she should not have been surprised at how she had unbuttoned the top button of her waistcoat with her nervous movements, she still had to use the excuse of looking somewhere else for a moment to provide her with the cover to button it again before continuing. “I could not find anything we might have been able to use in there. However, even then, I found a hidden passageway, and so, because I thought that it might lead into the storeroom, I decided to follow it, only it did not take me to anything I might have been able to steal. Instead it led me into a room that had seemingly been made specifically to provide someone important with a place to hide during attacks, or at least that was what it seemed like, because I met the princess in there.”</p>
<p>At that, although Midna could see how she was trying her best not to interrupt the story, Ilia could not keep back a tiny gasp. “Princess Zelda?” she asked, “You saw Princess Zelda aboard the ship?”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>“But if you saw the princess, then how were you able to escape unharmed?” Ilia continued, for a moment seemingly forgetting all about Midna as she instead leant in over her drawings, almost like she expected to find the answer to her question hidden among the words. “She would hardly have left the castle without guards she knew would be able to protect her, and they certainly would not have allowed for some piece of metal to just be lying somewhere.”</p>
<p>“That was what I was wondering as well!” Midna shook her head. “It simply does not make sense. But that was actually not what I had been meaning to tell you.”</p>
<p>“No? Then what was it?”</p>
<p>“It was the princess, she, well, I had assumed that I was about to enter the storeroom, so I had just thrown the door open, and when I saw her, I think that we both were too surprised to say anything for a moment, but when she did, she ordered me not to harm any of the guards since they were only there because of her.”</p>
<p>Ilia’s eyes widened. “She was willing to give her life if it meant that her guards would survive?”</p>
<p>The answer was ready, the ‘no’ moments away from filling the air between them, but something made Midna pause at the last moment. As she thought about what had happened, the way the princess had taken a step forwards with so much fire present in her eyes that it had surely been warmer than the flames that were used to heat the water for the steam engine above them, there was something about it that made her consider the fact that Ilia might be correct.</p>
<p>“I think she might have been,” Midna finally said, “but it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that she accused us of being nothing more than mere pirates.” Ilia sent her a confused look, prompting Midna to let out a sigh. “Come on, you know that we aren’t pirates. But for some reason, even when we are alone, the royal family refuses to acknowledge the fact that they are the murderers and the thieves, instead throwing those accusations at us.”</p>
<p>“And you think that was what Princess Zelda did?”</p>
<p>“I know it was. You should have seen her, she stood there like she was going to try to stop me from leaving the room, even yelling at me when I turned around and sprinted back towards the deck, like she was so sure that she could just give me an order,” Midna said. However, despite how she tried her best not to leave any doubt in her voice, Ilia just drew her brows together in response, Midna barely able to conceal an annoyed sigh. “You don’t think so?”</p>
<p>“It is not that I think that you are wrong per se, but I am just… do you think that there might be another reason?”</p>
<p>“Such as?”</p>
<p>Ilia shrugged. “I don’t know. I just can’t help but feel like all of this is the same situation that the steam engine was in two days ago and that we are only missing a single piece before we can figure it all out.”</p>
<p>“That we will figure it all out is perhaps to exaggerate just a little bit,” Midna reminded her, “I mean, after all, we have other things to worry about than why some spoilt princess would not be aware of the world around her—winter, for example, or Epona. Speaking of which, would you mind showing me what you have done? I am sure that I would have come to regret it if I didn’t ask you.”</p>
<p>The last part was not strictly a lie, but it was also as far from the truth as it could have been without becoming dishonest. Listening to Ilia try to explain to her exactly what she was doing before giving up and explaining it to her while using the simplest terms possible was perhaps not exactly what Midna wanted to do most in that moment, but seeing how Ilia immediately jumped to her feet, the sound of her voice drowning out most of the doubts and thoughts about the princess, the ship, and the unsuccessful mission, did make her feel a little better as she followed Ilia’s instructions as to where on the deck she could stand without risk of the planks giving out below her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the time Midna had to leave Ilia to head towards the dining hall to eat lunch, her hands were almost completely covered in coal dust after Ilia had shown her the steam engine and how she had thought it would work, only for it to suddenly eject the coal.</p>
<p>Trying her best to discreetly brushing off the dust, Midna was halfway through the corridor leading towards the dining hall when she noticed the sound of someone laughing. Already before she had turned around to look towards the source of the sound, she knew who she would find. After all, she could recognise the two voices anywhere, or at least it felt like she could, and yet, as she stepped closer and opened the door into Rusl and Uli’s rooms, Midna still found herself unable to find anything to say as she saw Link and Colin sitting on the floor, playing some kind of card game.</p>
<p>Perhaps Link had guessed the reason for why she was simply staring blankly at them, for not even a second later, he had got up from the floor to instead head over towards her. “Midna, I was actually just wondering where you were,” he said, throwing an arm around her shoulders, already trying to lead her into the living room, “I was thinking if you would perhaps want to try this card game that Colin invented.”</p>
<p>Looking back and forth between the two of them, Midna at once felt trapped between the wish to just be able to grab something to eat and then hurry back to her cabin and staying with them to not upset Colin. In the end, the way Colin smiled up at her while he reached for the pack of cards that really were only a few pieces of paper where Ilia had drawn the different numbers and symbols, and the way that she could feel how Link was asking for her to stay even as he stayed silent, waiting for her answer, won.</p>
<p>Forcing a smile onto her face that felt only halfway fake, Midna stepped into the room, making her way over to where Colin hurried to move to the side to let her sit next to him. “Of course I would love to try a game if Colin invented it,” she said, and the look of pure joy that spread over Colin’s face was almost enough to make her forget about how her cabin almost seemed to call for her to return to it.</p>
<p>“That’s great to hear,” Link exclaimed, having already returned to pick up the cards, “Colin and I were discussing the mission just now, weren’t we?”</p>
<p>Colin looked up at her, nodding enthusiastically. “We were. My dad told me that you were the reason everyone returned home unharmed.”</p>
<p>As she recalled exactly how little she had been able to do during the attack, Midna could not help but let out a little snort. “Oh, Colin, you know that your father likes to exaggerate things. The real reason we were all able to return home was that everyone did as they had been told to, everyone did as we had planned.” ignoring the bite of the little voice that reminded her that she had not been able to stick to the plan herself, Midna accepted the cards Link was handing her before adding. “We were a single unit out there, and that was what made the difference. It wasn’t about anyone somehow saving everyone, though I do admit that the idea of that being the case is flattering. But didn’t your father also grab a jar of honey?” as Colin nodded, Midna gestured towards him with the cards. “Well, there you see; your father was a hero as well—we all were, but that honey is going to be good to have once it gets cold outside.”</p>
<p>“Mum said that it would also have been nice if he could have grabbed some salt,” Colin mumbled, having already returned most of his attention to the card game, “she said that something about us not having enough to pickle the meat to last us through winter.”</p>
<p>Instantly, it felt like the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees, something Midna knew had nothing to do with how they were all hurrying to prepare for winter. With how Link looked over at her with an alarmed look on his face, she could tell that Colin was the only one in the room who neither understood what the lack of salt could mean for them nor what kind of thoughts were flying through Midna’s head, but right then, she could not have cared less about what Link might have thought of the plan that was taking form in that moment.</p>
<p>Slowly, trying her best to make it sound like she did not have to remind herself not to panic, Midna cocked her head and looked at Colin. “Did she say that? When?” although she tried her best to keep it from happening, she could hear how her voice cracked halfway through the sentence.</p>
<p>It appeared that Colin had finally noticed how the atmosphere in the room had changed as well, for he placed the cards back down onto the floor as he answered her, a hint of uncertainty having made its way into his voice. “Well, uh, she didn’t tell me, but I overheard her and dad talk about it last night when they thought that I was asleep. Dad said something about how he was sure that it might be the last bit of honey we would be able to get before winter and that we should be careful to save something in case we could not find more, but mum said that we should worry about salt rather than honey.” Colin made a grimace. “I don’t see why. Honey is better than salt even though mum says it is too sticky for me.” in an instant, his eyes widened as his voice broke, seemingly realising that the conversation had never been meant to leave the room. “But don’t tell them I said that! I don’t think they wanted for me to hear any of that.”</p>
<p>Midna was grateful that Link saved her from having to find an answer to that, taking over the conversation for her as he ruffled Colin’s hair with a grin. “Of course we won’t tell your mother about it. But, really, Colin, salt is something you can worry about when you get older. Right now, you should just focus on trying to make Midna and I understand your card game.”</p>
<p>“What is it I hear about worrying about salt?” a voice came from the doorway, making them all spin around to look at the person who had just entered the room.</p>
<p>It was Uli.</p>
<p>Although she tried her best to at least appear to be calm, Midna could feel how her heart sped up a little, her mind already busy trying to think of a reason to leave the room before she would have to explain how their conversation had reached the subject of salt. From the way Link opened his mouth a couple of times, no sound ever leaving him, she knew that he was trying to do the same, and with Colin staring directly at the pack of cards, almost like he thought that he could make it all disappear by just thinking about something else for enough time, it seemed that she would be the one to answer Uli’s question, or at least she would have to if she did not want for her to repeat it. As Uli took a step forward, her gaze moving from Colin over to Link before landing on Midna, it was clear to her that she did not want to make her repeat it.</p>
<p>So, taking a deep breath, Midna tried her best to piece together a sentence. “We were just discussing the mission, and, well… I just remembered that we did not manage to grab any salt, and with how it will be winter soon, I just thought that… perhaps we should plan another expedition soon to make sure that we will have enough to get us through the winter.”</p>
<p>Truth to be told, Midna had not thought about leaving for another mission this soon. It was not responsible, not when they were still tired after the last one, Jaggle seeming like he still had still not quite realised that they had made it home alive, but as she said it, she knew that it was right. They had to get the salt, no matter what it would take, no matter the risk. And perhaps it would be her chance to finally be able to do something rather than wasting the precious minutes they had during an attack searching for a hidden door inside a cabin that only led to the very symbol of what she was fighting against.</p>
<p>However, it appeared that she was the only one in the room who thought so, for not only did Link look at her with a bewildered expression that let her know exactly what he thought of that plan, Uli wiped her hands against her pinafore and sighed. “Midna, I know what you are doing, but I need you to know that we will be able to make it through the winter just fine with the salt we have now. I never should have talked with Rusl about it without first making sure that we would not be heard,” she said, glancing over at Colin, who responded by holding the cards closer to his face, “but I really did not want for you to worry about any of it. To be honest, the last thing we would need now is for any of you to risk your lives for a few kilos of salt. As long as we are careful, we will have more than enough salt for the winter.”</p>
<p>Next to her, Midna could tell how Link was aching to agree with her and try to persuade her that Uli was right, that they could stay inside the base and the safety it had offered them for those past years, so she hurried to answer before he would have got the chance to do so. “I know, but would it not be nicer to not have to worry every day about whether or not we will just barely be able to make it or if we will find ourselves with nothing but rotten meat by the end of the winter? Uli, I promise you that it will be fine; you know how many times we have done this already. Not even to mention the fact that a bit of salt is not something any ship will waste any money on getting soldiers to guard. It will be a quick mission and then you will have more salt than you could ever use. Besides,” making sure that she did not let even a trace of worry show on her face, Midna turned towards Colin, “I am sure that we could find some more honey. That would be nice would it not? Think about it, enough honey to make a cake, to use in the porridge, and for sore throats, all of that at the same time.”</p>
<p>As Colin smiled at the idea, Midna knew that she had just ended the discussion. There was something almost magical about seeing how the children acted within the base, running around and playing games with each other and regarding the missions as some kind of magical adventure the older members of the base got the privilege of participating in. Really, when she looked at them and knew that the youngest of them had no memory of a life other than the one they knew in the base and how even the oldest did not seem to be able to recall more than a few glimpses of the destroyed village she and Link had met them in all those years ago, Midna could sometimes not help but envy them a bit for how they had grown up to view the mountain around them and the tonnes of rocks above their heads as a normal part of their lives.</p>
<p>Perhaps Uli thought of the same thing, for Midna could see how she glanced down towards her stomach for a moment, the look in her eyes letting her know how she was picturing the day where she would be able to hold the baby in her arms and find comfort in the fact that it would come to know this room as home.</p>
<p>Finally, Uli looked back up at her. “I trust your judgement, Midna. If you decide to go on another mission, then I will support that decision. All I am demanding in return is for you to be careful when you do.”</p>
<p>Midna grinned at her. “When haven’t I been careful?”</p>
<p>Shaking her head, Uli let out a little laugh. “My husband has told me about all of the tricks you like to use to avoid being captured, so, really, I could write you a list. Speaking of Rusl, Link, he actually asked me to find you. I think he wanted to discuss something with you.”</p>
<p>Jumping to his feet, it was evident how Link had to supress a little sigh of relief that he would finally be able to leave the room. “Of course. Where is he?”</p>
<p>“In the larder.”</p>
<p>Link nodded, and the next second, he had all but sprinted out of the door.</p>
<p>Midna already knew what Uli would say long before she had turned back to look at her, how she would try her best to convince her not to go while also having to choose her words carefully with how Colin was sitting right next to them, listening to the entire conversation, and if there was one thing she could not find the energy for right then, it would be having to listen to Uli’s well-meaning attempts at making her reconsider while being unable to mention the danger they put themselves in each time they attacked the ships in the sky.</p>
<p>So before Uli got the chance to do more than open her mouth, Midna had already got back up as well, sending her a smile that made her feel like her cheeks would not be able to support the fake grimace for more than a couple of seconds as she too got ready to make an excuse to leave. “Well, seeing as I just remembered that I had actually meant to go eat lunch just now, I should probably also get going.”</p>
<p>She did not give Uli the chance to ask for her to wait for a moment, instead simply turning around and hurrying out of the room the same way Link had done.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ad here we go with Midna being really good at hiding her emotions from those around her but really bad at admitting the fact that she has them to herself!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>If Midna had hoped that she would be able to avoid having to continue the conversation about her reasons for the mission, she would have been disappointed. For although she was able to change the topic of conversation each time Link, Ilia, Uli, and Rusl tried to bring it up again over the following days, by the time she stood in front of the helm again, taking in the wonderful sense of freedom that came with knowing that in just a few minutes, she would be back among the clouds, she knew that she would not be able to convince Link to stop worrying about her as he walked over to stand next to her.</p>
<p>That did not keep him from trying to at least pretend that his reason for having decided to stand there with her as the rest of the crew finished the last preparation before they would be able to leave the base was anything other than him trying to make one last attempt at convincing her not to go though. With how he waved at Ilia who had finally left Epona for a moment to say goodbye, the two of them yelling at her that they would be back soon with the words being drowned out by the fact that everyone around them were saying the same thing to their loved ones, it was almost enough to, for a moment, allow her to believe that he would not inevitably turn towards her and try to make her see reason. But of course, the second where he did exactly that came sooner than she had expected.</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t have promised Colin that we would get salt and honey,” he said, and Midna had to admit that he at least made sure to keep his voice down, ensuring that the rest of the crew would not be able to overhear their conversation, “it is not worth the risk, and you know that it is bigger than it usually is, you saw how Jaggle struggled with those lines. We should have waited until everyone was ready and well-rested again.”</p>
<p>Tightening her grip around the rudder and seeing how her knuckles turned white, Midna tried her best to calm herself, to remind herself that this was Link, her first and oldest friend, who was trying to tell her that he worried about whether or not they were leading the rest of the crew to their deaths. Still, it was not quite enough to make her able to keep a sharp edge out of her tone of voice as she looked back over at him. “I am only doing what I need to do, Link. I know that you might think that this is about me trying to prove something, but we do need the salt to make it through the winter. Besides, I am not forcing anyone to follow me; everyone except for you agreed that we should plan a new mission during the meeting, and everyone who is here has chosen that for themselves.”</p>
<p>Link just sent her a humourless smile. “But you know that they would agree with everything you say. No matter the danger, almost everyone here would be willing to risk their life if they thought that it was what you wanted.”</p>
<p>Midna could tell that he had meant it as some kind of argument that would finally render her unable to find anything to act as a counterargument, but she simply shrugged in response to it. “That is something they chose to do. I did not tell them that they had to do everything I would ever ask them to do before we helped them get away from the ruins and flames, so if they are here because they feel like they have to, then that is something they have chosen to do. I refuse to take the responsibility for that.”</p>
<p>“You and I both know that while we did not tell them to do everything we said, we might as well have done so with how the people on this ship would gladly give their lives for you just to feel like they had repaid that debt.”</p>
<p>“Then let them. If that is what they choose to do with their lives, I don’t see what the problem is.” Link’s disappointed glare felt like it was burning right through her skin, and in that moment, Midna could feel how it all became too much for her. Twirling around to face him, she let her voice drop to a whisper, making sure that her tone of voice did not leave any doubts about what she would think of any argument he might present. “And I hate to say that I feel like I have to remind you of this, but you also chose to be here. The only thing I said at the meeting was that I had planned another mission to ensure we had enough food and fuel. I did not force anyone to come with me, so if you don’t want to be here, this is your opportunity to leave.”</p>
<p>Part of her wanted to feel bad for what she was saying, how she knew full well that Link would never turn around now and let them risk their lives while he stayed and pretended to know what Ilia was talking about as she gestured towards Epona, but for the most part, the guilt was drowned out by the need to know that she would not have to listen to another person whispering about whether or not she was all right, and so, Midna forced herself to be cold as Link struggled for a moment to hide the hurt that made its way into the lines of his face.</p>
<p>“I am not going to leave, not when my friends are here, risking their lives. I just…” Link sighed and motioned towards her, the frustration evident in the gesture, “Midna, you have to realise that while I know you didn’t order anyone to come with you, no one here would have been able to defend the choice not to come.”</p>
<p>“Well, in that case, it is beginning to sound like you are saying that I am doing what is right.” when Link did still not look convinced, Midna sighed and nodded towards the spot on the ground where Uli was standing with Colin. “Link, we have to do this. If we don’t, think about what Colin will feel like once he realises that we are always just a moment away from not having enough food for the winter. He deserves to have at least another year of thinking that everything here is fine, doesn’t he?”</p>
<p>That finally earned her a tiny smile, and as the warmth from the steam engine began to fight off the icy winds that rushed past them, into the hangar, Link finally gave in. “I suppose you might be right. Just… I don’t want you to do anything rash.”</p>
<p>“No of course you don’t want that, that is your job after all,” Midna said with a laugh, before the task of having to manoeuvre the ship out of the hangar brought an end to the discussion.</p>
<p>However, even as she tried her best to pretend that she did not repeat Link’s words to herself, Midna could still feel his gaze on her, and as they sailed upwards, moving through the clouds, she knew that the moment they had landed again, she would have to figure out what to do. But for now, she allowed herself to focus on nothing but the mission that awaited them, steering the ship away from the base as quickly as she could to try to prevent anyone from being able to guess its location.</p>
<p>Once they were finally up in the sky, it was almost amazing how easy it was to let her mind wander until her only thoughts were about the ship, shouting instructions at the crew to make herself be heard above the sound of the wind that tried its best to change their course, and, little by little, Midna felt how she slipped out of the role she had come to inhabit while at the base to instead work with the ship, ignoring every problems that did not directly threaten to interfere with the mission, letting the doubts about whether or not Link had been right when he had said that the only reason she wasn’t up here alone was that the rest of the residents at the base felt like they owed her something move towards the back of her mind until she was able to shut them out completely.</p>
<p>Above her, the sun moved across the sky, but although the elements fought around them, the icy winds hitting the sails and the sun warming the ground below, as she stood there, with the pipes leading the warm water around the ship, heating up the rooms, Midna barely noticed any of it as she instead tried her best to combat the threat the wind posed whenever it would hit the sides of the ship.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until the sun had almost reached the horizon that Link spoke up again. Reaching out to place a hand on the rudder, he nodded towards the cabin below them. “Perhaps you should try to get some sleep. I don’t think we are going to find a ship just yet, and as much as I know you don’t like to hear this, you need to be fully rested to be able to fight.”</p>
<p>Midna cast a long glance at him, but his face remained blank, and for once, she could not tell if it was because he truly had let go of their discussion, or if he just tried his best to hide his feelings from her.</p>
<p>Instantly, she could feel something heavy settle in her stomach, something that felt a bit too much like admitting that there had perhaps been a tiny bit of truth to his claims about how the crew viewed her as some kind of leader if she focused on it for too long, so Midna simply nodded, forcing herself to ignore it. “Very well then. Remember to send someone to tell me if we find a target.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>Making her way down to her cabin, Midna tried her best not to think about whether or not Rusl was only there, waving at her as he inspected the harnesses, because he felt obligated to do so. After all, even if it was the case, it would not have been her fault. She had not told anyone to be there; she had merely suggested that they should plan another mission the last time they had held a meeting, that was all. If anyone thought that she would have forced them to come along against their will, she could hardly be blamed for that, could she?</p>
<p>Midna preferred to think that it wasn’t the case, but even then, as she pulled off her boots and lay down on top of the soft quilt that covered the bed, the way Link had not been able to look directly at her when she had offered that he could stay behind kept moving to the front of her mind. Although she might not have ordered him to come with them, she had reminded him of how he would leave everyone else to fend for themselves if he stayed at the base. As such, had she not at least partly been trying to make him go, using the knowledge she had about him and the rest of the base the exact same way the princess she had met in the ship had tried to wield her position as a weapon against her?</p>
<p>Even as she tried her best to clear her mind, to not think of anything and especially not the princess, Midna could feel how her thoughts continued to circle back to it. There was simply something about it that did not feel right, something about the fact that they had been able to attack a ship that had housed the princess and escape unharmed. Despite what Midna had read about herself the few times she had dared to make her way into a town after she and Link had first realised that they did not have to hide in the shadows every day, she was not blind to the fact that their strongest weapon was the element of surprise, the ability to strike quickly and be gone before their target got the chance to try to organise a defence. But with the target being a ship filled with soldiers given the task of protecting the princess, for them to not have been prepared for the risk of something happening was almost miraculous enough for Midna to begin to consider whispering a quick thankyou to the goddesses the way Ilia and Link seemed to do from time to time. But only almost. Even if their survival really was the result of the goddesses interfering with reality, tipping the scales to let them be in their favour, it was still not enough to make up for all the times where they had been silent, simply watching without providing help.</p>
<p>Really, with how Midna struggled to make sense of it all, it should perhaps have felt like she lay there for long, but as she noticed the sound of footsteps around her, Rusl’s voice rising above the general noise of the crew readying themselves for an attack, it barely felt like she had got the chance to do more than to close her eyes for a second.</p>
<p>As she sat up, forcing herself to let go of the fatigue to instead focus on the task at hand and put on her boots, Midna heard how the entire ship squeaked a little as whoever was standing at the helm altered the course to starboard, and the next second, the door was thrown open to reveal Link standing there, a gun already resting at his hips as he looked at her.</p>
<p>“Oh, you are already awake,” he observed, sounding breathless, “good. Rusl just spotted a ship—we are preparing to attack right now. Come on, we have to go!”</p>
<p>Even though Midna could see how he tried his best to hide it, it was evident from how his left hand shook slightly, Link trying to hide it by gripping the gun, and the slightly panicked look in his eyes, that there was something about the approaching fight he wasn’t telling her.</p>
<p>Standing up straight, Midna made sure to sound as calm as possible as she fixed him with a sharp glare. “What kind of ship is it? Is it a merchant’s?”</p>
<p>Link hesitated, and it was in that short second where he let out a little sound not unlike a sigh that Midna could find her answer, with Link dragging the tip of his boot over the deck as he answered. “No, it is a ship from the royal fleet.” he must have known that she was only half a second away from asking him how they had managed to spot two royal ships in such a short amount of time, for he barely paused to breathe before adding. “That is why everyone is… well, I would want to say that they are only a little nervous, but that would have been a lie. We are hardly prepared to take on another ship full of Hyrulean soldiers, not when everyone are still tired, but we did not spot it until it was too late. Now, we will not be able to leave without it involving a huge risk of them seeing us, and if that is the case, I would prefer for us to at least have the element of surprise on our side.”</p>
<p>Shaking her head, Midna did not even try to mask the way the corners of her mouth curled up into a satisfied smile. “No, this is perfect. The royal ships mean a guarantee of getting every luxury we came to find. As for the soldiers, you and I both saw how laughably incompetent they were the last time we attacked one of their ships.”</p>
<p>With her head held high, Midna made her way out of the cabin, walking across the deck to catch the harness Rusl threw over to her while mentally going over the plan one last time. Link followed along, and although she tried her best to let everyone around her know that this was almost exactly what she had planned for, it did not seem to have the intended effect on Link as he continued to argue with her.</p>
<p>“I know,” he said as he went to stand next to her, “and I have been thinking about it. What if it is a trap?” her raised eyebrow must have been enough for him to know that she did not follow as he cleared his throat and explained. “The only reason I can come up with that would explain what appears to be a great deal of luck from our side is that they knew that we would return again if we thought we would be able to stand a chance in a fight against the guards. So what if they made sure we would be able to escape, so that the next time we saw them, we would attack again, only for us to be surrounded by the best soldiers in the kingdom?”</p>
<p>It was not an inconceivable idea, Midna had to admit that. Allowing the newer soldiers to enter a situation where they would fear for their lives, all to ensure that he would be able to capture them was exactly the kind of plan Midna could picture Ganondorf thinking of, and she would have lied if she claimed that she would be able to say something that could prove that there would not be even the tiniest bit of danger associated with attacking the ship below them. But even then, as she glanced to her left and saw how the rest of the crew had climbed up to stand on the handrail, all of them waiting for her to tell them to begin the attack, Midna knew that while she was not a leader the same way the same way the princess was, now was not the moment for her to falter and doubt herself.</p>
<p>At least Link had made sure to keep his voice down, refraining from speaking loudly enough for anyone to hear, and as Midna looked over at him, she could not have been more grateful for the fact that their conversation would remain between them. Now, instead of having to try to calm the entirety of the crew, she only had to find a reason to make Link forget his doubts about the plan for enough time to allow them to attack as a single group.</p>
<p>The answer came to her in an instant, Midna leaning closer to him to make sure that Rusl would not be able to hear it from his spot next to her. “If that was the case, why would he have allowed the princess to be present on the ship? Don’t you think that it would be strange for someone like Ganondorf to allow his daughter to be aboard a ship he had planned to let us attack?”</p>
<p>She saw how Link considered her argument, silently repeating it before making a noncommittal sound. “I don’t know. He has destroyed Hyrulean villages for years now to be able to blame us. As long as he knows that he will still have Zant as the heir to the throne, I would not put it past him to be willing to risk his daughter’s life to capture you.”</p>
<p>Before Midna got a chance to respond, the sound of Rusl coughing forced her to return to the present. Looking over at him, she saw how the entire crew were all looking towards her.</p>
<p>“Midna, are we ready to attack?” Rusl asked.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath and forcing herself to focus on nothing other than the weight of the gun in her belt, the mission in front of her, and how she could see the deck of the ship below her even with the clouds around them impairing her vision, Midna nodded. “Yes.”</p>
<p>They jumped, and before Midna had truly realised what was happening, her body had already slipped back into the familiar rhythm of ducking under a sword as the cold blade missed her by mere centimetres, jumping over a soldier who had fallen over when Link had sneaked up behind him to hit him with a spear he must have grabbed from someone, before finally sprinting towards the storeroom.</p>
<p>As soon as she was inside and the sounds of the battle grew muffled, Midna could feel how the effects of the adrenaline lessened a little, allowing her to move through the room, feeling how the dust in the air tickled against her skin, without risking alerting the soldiers above her to the fact that she had managed to move past them by letting out a yell as she almost tripped over a crate. Narrowly avoiding falling to the floor, Midna twirled around to take a look at the contents of it, only for the sight of the sacks full of salt to earn a tiny smile. She had found it.</p>
<p>With the sack hanging from her belt now having become a bit heavier, Midna continued to walk along the rows of crates and cases, searching for the beauty that was a crate that would be full of jars of honey while letting mushrooms, wheat, and pieces of meat fall into the sack as well, keeping the salt company.</p>
<p>It was the sound of wood breaking, sunlight streaming into the room, and someone yelling as they fell directly into a crate full of wine that forced her to at once be acutely aware of how the battle above her was more than just something they had to worry about for a moment before reaching the storeroom.</p>
<p>Jumping back, with her heartbeat forming an uneven rhythm, already raising her gun, Midna did not look away from the guard in front of her for even a moment, waiting for him to move, to act, to give her any indication of just what she should do next.</p>
<p>As he sat there, stuck in the crate and with the red fabric of his uniform stained purple by the wine, he might not have looked like a threat, but Midna could easily imagine how someone before her might have made the mistake of assuming that the Hyrulean soldiers would not easily be able to fool their target into lowering their guard, only for them to strike once they were vulnerable. After all, although she barely had any memories from that time, she still sometimes dreamt about one of the servants telling her that she would come back to her in just a moment, that once they had succeeded in freeing the Twilight Realm, there would not be any need for them to hide anymore. But for now, it seemed that she had been fortunate enough for the soldier to have hit his head upon impact, for he only let out a little sigh before going limp.</p>
<p>Backing away from the crate, Midna gave herself a second to cast one last glance at the room around her before deciding that she would have to return without the jar of honey. She had already ensured that they would have enough salt, that would have to be enough, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself to justify the fact that she did not stop once as she sprinted out of the storeroom, almost falling over the stairs as she made her way back up onto the deck.</p>
<p>Before she even got the chance to try to take in what was happening, someone had grabbed her arm, and the only reason she did not hit Link as he dragged her with him was the fact that he did not waste any time, immediately yelling to make himself heard above the chaos of the fight. “Where have you been? We have to leave immediately!”</p>
<p>Dancing to the side to get out of reach of a heavy-looking sword, Midna looked over at him. “What has happened?”</p>
<p>“Look up!”</p>
<p>That was exactly what Midna did.</p>
<p>Above them, the Shadow still rocked from side to side in the wind, but as she watched, Midna saw how an arrow cut through the air, digging into the fabric of the balloon. It was a ridiculous thought, but in that moment, Midna could almost hear the sound of the fabric straining under the attack, struggling to remain intact. In those tense seconds, it was easy to understand why Link had dragged her towards the side of the deck where she could see the harnesses being lowered down even though the plan did not say for that to happen for another couple of minutes. The balloon would not be able to last forever, especially not with how Midna could see the arrows shining in the light from the sun, the slightly blue hue to them letting her know how they were not as small as regular arrows.</p>
<p>Keeping her head down, she did not say another word, instead focusing on nothing other than sprinting towards the harnesses along with the rest of the crew, thankful for how Fado had noticed the danger in time to allow them to escape.</p>
<p>She reached the handrail, grabbing the harness closest to her, pulling it around her with almost desperate movements, barely pausing to secure the straps before she heard someone let out a panicked yell to her left. A single glance revealed how Jaggle, having been among the last of them to cross the deck, was left with nothing more than air in front of him. His harness was gone.</p>
<p>“Help me!” Jaggle yelled, but at Midna looked at how the soldiers were advancing, a tall man with what almost looked like metal wrapped around his hand sprinting towards them, she wasn’t able to make a sound, only hoping that Fado would be able to save them in time.</p>
<p>But it appeared that not everyone around her were as unable to tear their gaze away from the threat as she was in that moment, for Rusl ran forwards to grab Jaggle, and moments later, the rope above her pulled her over the edge of the ship, out of reach of the swords and spears.</p>
<p>As she was pulled back up onto the Shadow, the fact that they had all escaped was almost too much for Midna to fully take in, so the moment she had finally pulled off the harness, she dropped to the deck, sitting there for a moment, simply feeling how the ship cut through the air, bringing them away from the royal ship and the risk of the ship itself suffering even more under the attacks they had aimed at it, before she was able to stand up again.</p>
<p>Turning towards Link, Midna shook her head. “What happened up there? I thought we were doing great when I went into the storeroom; what made it all change like that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I truly don’t know.” Link let out a sigh. “When you left, everything was fine, Rusl and I were about to follow after you, but then—and I don’t know what happened—it seemed that the soldiers suddenly began to fight back, only this time, they seemed to know what they were doing. Just a little minute after you had left, we had to signal for Fado to send down the harnesses, but we were surrounded before we got the chance to make our way over to them. Goddesses, Midna, I was so sure that we were going to die as I stood there with a gun I couldn’t use without risking hitting anyone I knew, and for a moment, it really did look like we really were going to lose, but then… they almost seemed to give up, making it so that we could fight our way past them.” the chuckle that escaped him seemed anything but happy as he pulled her into a tight embrace. “I am sorry about everything I said before this mission, I know that now. If anything had happened without me getting the chance to tell you that, I don’t know—”</p>
<p>“But you did,” Midna interrupted him, “you are telling me right now.” blinking away the tears, she forced herself to push the memories away as she stood up, pulling Link up along with her. “We both survived, everyone did, although I cannot imagine what would have happened if Rusl hadn’t been so quick to grab Jaggle.” she could see how it still was not quite enough for Link, but in that moment, Midna knew that now wasn’t the time for her to cry and let her mind invent scenarios where they had lost. They had won, they had all survived, and she had been able to grab the salt, so for now, they had to focus on that rather than anything else.</p>
<p>Turning around to look at Rusl, Midna gestured towards the sack in her hand. “Rusl, will you make sure Link is all right while I go to the storeroom with this?” she did not wait for his response, already knowing how Rusl would hurry over to try to talk with him, instead running over the deck to make her way into the storeroom.</p>
<p>Down there where the solid wooden planks of the deck shielded her from the sun, it was dark and slightly cold, the chill growing in intensity as she moved closer towards the centre of the ship. Still, in that moment, the chance to get a handful of seconds to herself to try to collect her thoughts was worth how Midna shivered as she made her way over towards the bow of the ship to place the sack and all of its contents inside the chest. She would sort it later, once they were safe back inside the base. Right now, the most important thing was to ensure that the food would not become too warm during the voyage home.</p>
<p>The handle had once been shiny and polished but as Midna held onto it now, the rust stained her fingers, and she was fairly certain that had it not been for how her hands were already blistered after having pulled at the lines around the ship for years, it would have hurt, cutting into the skin. But as it was, she simply grabbed the handle and lifted the lid with a quick pull.</p>
<p>The sight that met her was almost enough to make her drop it again.</p>
<p>Inside the chest, lying in a heap of blue silk and embroidered fabric, was the princess of Hyrule.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did I end the chapter here because the only reaction I could envision to finding the princess of Hyrule lying in a chest where she should definitely not be would be to say a bad word? Possibly, maybe, perhaps, so now we will have to wait for the next chapter for Midna to figure out just what Zelda is doing there :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At first, the only thing Midna was able to do was to stare down at the woman in the chest as her mind fought to catch up with what was happening and make sense of what her eyes were seeing.</p>
<p>The princess, the woman she had met inside the ship was here, lying in the chest where she had been about to throw the sack. But although Midna tried to repeat it to herself, it simply did not make any sense, sounding more and more like an absurd dream with every moment that passed.</p>
<p>Why was the princess here, how had she made it onto the ship without anyone noticing, and what was she doing inside the chest? The most obvious answer would be that someone had taken her with them, but Midna dispelled the idea instantly. Not only could she not see how anyone would have been able to steal the princess away from her ship when she was surrounded by guards, get her back up onto the Shadow, and down here without anyone noticing, they also were not the kind of people to do that. Although Midna would be the first to admit that she let the anger fuel her whenever she would find herself faced with what seemed like an impossible situation, there was a difference between taking the food and coal that was rightfully hers and kidnapping another person, no matter how horrible they might be. Besides, as Midna looked down at the princess, she did not exactly look like someone who had been kidnapped.</p>
<p>No, the more time she had to properly take in what was happening, the less likely that explanation seemed. Not only could she not spot any sign of rope binding her hands, and although the princess’ feet were hidden away beneath the sea of silk, Midna was certain that she was by no means trapped within the chest, the princess also looked up at her with a smile tucking at the corners of her lips, Even as it faltered, Midna could not see any hint of the fear or anger that should have been present in her eyes as she looked at her.</p>
<p>It seemed that the shock of seeing one another had worn off for the princess, for while Midna would gladly have been able to decide that it was all just a strange combination of adrenaline, fatigue, and nervousness, she looked up at her, sending her a little wave as she smiled at her. “Hello. I am sorry if I frightened you; had I known that you would open the chest just now, I would have tried to warn you,” she said, her glance moving from Midna’s face towards the lid for a moment as she pointed towards her hand where the pressure she was applying had made the knuckles become white, “but will you please hold that for a moment so that I can climb out of here?” without waiting for an answer, she began to move around, clearly struggling in her dress as she tried to stand up. Wobbling slightly as a sudden blast of wind hit the ship, the princess stepped out of the chest, grabbing Midna’s arm to steady herself.</p>
<p>Perhaps that was what made Midna realise that she was not just imagining things, that the princess of Hyrule really was right there in front of her, aboard the Shadow, the way she knew that the feeling of the princess leaning against her to stay upright was not something she was imagining. But no matter what the reason for her finally waking up was, fact was that while she might not have known what to do at first, the knowledge that the princess seemingly believed that Midna was just another one of her servants was enough to make her act, freeing her from her state of frozen shock.</p>
<p>Pulling her hand away and noting with a sense of glee she could not deny how the sudden lack of support made the princess sway slightly from side to side until she had recovered her balance, Midna let her voice drop to a low growl as she glared at her. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Either the princess was exactly as spoilt as Midna had expected or she wasn’t the genius the rumours she had listened to in the villages had declared her to be, for she knitted her brows in response, shooting her a confused look. “I am here to learn more,” she said, her tone almost making it sound like she thought it should have been obvious, “you never told me what you meant by your comment, and I wished to know the truth, so I made my way onto your ship.”</p>
<p>For a moment, all Midna could do was to stare at her.</p>
<p>Did she truly believe that she was so naïve that she would fall for such an obvious lie? As she looked at her and saw how, rather than admitting the truth, the princess simply returned the glance with one of her own, Midna did not know whether to feel amused that the princess, the one Ganondorf seemed determine to name a genius, was unable to interpret her response better than that or insulted that she really thought the lie would be enough.</p>
<p>In the end, Midna settled for simply sending her a sharp glare, but before she got the chance to open her mouth to let her know that she would tell her the truth right now or Midna would make sure to let Ganondorf know that they had his daughter, the hatch behind them was thrown open, letting the sun reach the first few rows of crates. The sound of a pair of boots hitting the floor followed along immediately afterwards, and even before he had said anything, Midna already knew that it was Link, simply from the fact that he was the only one she knew aboard the ship who would deem the few steps it would take to simply walk into the storeroom as a waste of time and instead jump, the sound of him landing on the floor echoing through the room.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Link called out, moving into the shadows. “I just wanted to talk with you for a moment, and I also think that Rusl wanted to discuss something with you. Are you in here? I heard Fado say that he still had not seen you come back up, but of course Fado might have—Farore, is that…?”</p>
<p>With how he stopped in the middle of the sentence, biting back the words she could see had been about to leave his mouth, to instead draw back, his hand already reaching for the spot in his belt where his gun had been moments before, Midna could tell the exact moment when Link’s eyes had grown used to the darkness around them enough for him to notice the princess standing next to her, the princess whose response was to nod and take a step forwards, already reaching out to let him take her hand.</p>
<p>Midna stopped her before she had time to even finish a gesture, pushing her back, before directing her attention back towards Link. “Yes, it is her.”</p>
<p>“Sweet Hylia,” Link mumbled, “what in the world is she doing here?”</p>
<p>Knowing full well that if she did not hurry, the princess would repeat the lie, Midna shook her head. “I don’t know. I was trying to find out, but she claimed that she was here to learn more about something I said the last time I saw her. Of course,” she continued, raising her voice to drown out the princess’ attempt at confirming the story, “I know that that is not true, but I still haven’t been able to get her to tell me the truth.”</p>
<p>“Well… no matter what, we cannot stay here, not when she is with us.” as Link glanced back towards the hatch that allowed the voices of the rest of the crew to pour into the room, now only slightly less loud than if they had been standing on the deck rather than being muffled by a layer of wood, Midna knew exactly what he meant. If he had been able to surprise them, entering the storeroom only to spot the princess within a minute, they had to hurry if they did not want for the entire ship to become aware of her presence. “Listen, Midna, if I try to create a distraction, can you take Princess Zelda to your cabin?” even in the dim lighting of the room, it would have been impossible to miss how Link looked at the princess while he spoke to her, making a sudden motion almost like he did not know whether or not he should kneel while in the presence of the person who was, after all, part of the royal family, no matter how unjust the king was.</p>
<p>Midna rolled her eyes, glad that the shadows would hide it from Link. There were times where she could not help but wonder if she was the only one of them who truly seemed to oppose the king and everything he represented. It had been bad enough the times where she could almost physically feel how those around her, while aware of how the king had taken everything from them, still seemed to pronounce his name almost like it was a word that held authority in the sound of it alone, rather than just the name of another tyrant, but now that he was standing in front of the princess, it almost seemed like Link was seconds away from giving in to the need to act as a servant when he finally coughed to clear his throat and stood up a little bit straighter.</p>
<p>“Uh,” looking over at the princess, it appeared that he finally remembered the plan he had been about to explain to Midna, for he gave a little toss of the head in the direction of the hatch as he added, “so, anyway, while I make sure to keep people distracted, you will take Princess Zelda to your cabin, right?”</p>
<p>“That depends on whether or not our princess here will be able to make it all the way across the deck without having anyone to carry her,” Midna responded.</p>
<p>And finally, her words had an effect, as the princess’ perfect smile faltered just a bit. However, the next moment, it was replaced with a lock of determination, the princess stepping closer to her. “Of course I can walk across the deck.”</p>
<p>There was an almost expectant tone to her words, and for a moment Midna had to wonder if she had thought that it would impress her to hear that she was able to walk without requiring a golden chair, if she perhaps was not trying to fool her, but perhaps simply was naïve enough to think that they would believe her when she claimed that she had no ill intentions and that she was there to try to understand them. The way she held herself, her arms hanging limply by her side, how she did not seem to wait for an attack, didn’t have her hands ready to parry like Midna would have done if she had been in her place, seemed to suggest exactly that, and no matter how many times Midna tried to remind herself that even someone like the king of Hyrule must have ways to make the people around him believe that he could be kind, she could not deny that the princess, as she stood there, a few strands of hair having escaped from her intricate hairstyle and with the fabric of the dress pooling around her, a sign that she would most likely be able to find the petticoats she had not been able to fit into the chest close by, did not exactly seem like she would be able to pose a threat to her.</p>
<p>So rather than answering her, Midna let out a little snort before turning back towards Link. “Just give me twenty seconds, and I will make sure that we can get up on deck and into my cabin without anyone seeing her.”</p>
<p>Link sent her a nod. “I will do my best.” with that, he turned around and hurried back towards the stairs.</p>
<p>Midna could already hear how he was running across the deck, shouting for the rest of the crew to come look at something he had found, making them all head over towards the bow, as she looked over at the princess.</p>
<p>For a split second, when she met her gaze, there was a trace of something more in them, a sign that perhaps Midna had been too quick to judge her, but as she heard how Link tried his best to keep everyone from losing interest in what he was saying, Midna pushed the thought away to instead take her hand. “Come,” she whispered as she began to make her way through the storeroom, back over towards the stairs, hating how her voice sounded almost soft as she was forced to remain quiet, “I promise you that I will not harm you, but I cannot speak for everyone aboard this ship.”</p>
<p>That seemed to convince the princess, and the next moment, she was running along next to her.</p>
<p>It pained her to admit it, but as Midna made her way back up onto the deck as quickly as she dared to before turning around to help the princess move up the stairs, she found that she was more agile than she had expected, the ridiculous amount of fabric around her feet seemingly not slowing her down. But she forced herself not to be weak, reminded herself of how this could still very well all be part of some bigger plan to capture them, instead opening the door to her cabin, her motions filled with panic as she gestured for the princess to head inside. At least it seemed that she was able to understand from how Midna let out a sharp hiss that now was not the time to discuss whether or not it would be necessary, as the princess hurried to gather her skirts before stepping over the threshold, Midna following right behind her.</p>
<p>“All right,” Midna began the moment she had shut the door close behind her and turned the key, “why don’t you tell me exactly how, why, and when you made your way onto my ship. But,” she held up her hand, silencing the princess before she got the chance to speak, “I must warn you, if I think that you are lying, I…” it was in that second Midna realised that, truthfully, she had no idea what she would do if she caught a lie. After all, as long as they were aboard the ship, they could not exactly simply abandon her, and while she would have preferred to be able to be as ruthless as Ganondorf, to simply watch her enemies suffer without regrets, she already knew that any threat she might try to make would end up sounding flat. She simply did not have what it would take to prove Ganondorf right, to show the world that she and her crew really were just more pirates, willing to kill the people they captured. Still, she could feel how the princess looked at her, waiting for her to continue, so Midna tried her best not to let her expression reveal her thoughts as she added, “I will inform everyone out there about your presence. And trust me, they have every reason to hate you. Do you understand?”</p>
<p>The princess looked uncertain for a second, but then she nodded. “I do.”</p>
<p>“Good.” pulling out one of the chairs that had slid across the room during their escape, Midna sat down on the chair across from it before gesturing towards the princess. “Sit down if you want. Surely, it will be quite the disappointment for someone who is used to golden furniture, but I still find them comfortable.”</p>
<p>For a fraction of a second, Midna thought she could see a flash of anger in the woman’s eyes, making the blue colour appear icy rather than a reflection of the sky above them, but it was gone a moment later, as the princess sat down, crossing her ankles and trying to smooth out the creases in the fabric of her gown.</p>
<p>Keeping back a little smile, Midna leant back in her chair, making sure to sit as improperly as she could. Had it not been for how her desk was in the other end of the room, she might even have placed her feet upon it, but although she would have loved to see the kind of grimace she would no doubt receive from the princess if she had done so, right then, she was more interested in getting the answers to her question than trying to annoy her, no matter how satisfying it was to see those little glimpses of something more.</p>
<p>“Now, I will ask you once more, just to ensure that you understand exactly what questions I want answered, so make sure to listen to me,” she said, not bothering to give the princess a chance to answer, “I want to know how you made your way onto my ship. I know that no one saw you, so, somehow, you managed to sneak past us while we were trying to escape, and got up on the Shadow. I want to know when you did it, how much time you had to sneak around inside the ship, searching for secrets you could potentially hand over to your father. And lastly, I want to know why you did it. Answer me.”</p>
<p>The princess cleared her throat before she began, and it almost seemed like she was waiting for Midna to offer her a handkerchief with the way she waited for a second, sending her short look. She must have realised that Midna was not impressed by what she saw, for she quickly looked back down, a blush spreading across her face as she finally provided her with some answers. “After I returned home the last time we met, I could not stop thinking about what you had said. Your comment about my father being a tyrant simply would not leave me alone, and as it was clear to me that I would not be able to find peace before I had found out the reason for you to make such a claim, I knew that I had to figure out a way to meet you again to give me a chance to talk with you. So I talked with one of my father’s captains, someone I trusted to keep my plan secret.”</p>
<p>“Name?”</p>
<p>“Ashei,” maybe it was simply an instinct, but Midna saw how the princess glanced over towards the porthole to her left, her expression changing, something new making its way to her eyes, “her name is Ashei.”</p>
<p>“And you want me to believe that you have actually kept your plan secret from the king? How do I know that he has not sent even more ships along with you to follow us back to our home so that he will be able to catch the pirates that have plagued the kingdom for so many years?” as she spoke, Midna could hear how her voice turned colder, imitating the dialect of the envoy from Castle Town she had once overheard explain to the residents of Hateno Village that it was their duty to report any suspicious activity to the mayor to make sure that they would be able to capture the pirates.</p>
<p>But for once, it seemed that the princess did not merely shrug and say something noncommittal, letting the sheer sweetness that almost seemed to drip from her voice overwhelm those around her. Instead, Midna saw how she almost seemed to grow taller in front of her, and as she spoke, although the at once familiar and strange dialect that was favoured among the nobility was still present, it was nowhere near as infuriating as it had been at first. “Do you think that I want for my father to find out about how I decided to go against his wishes and listen to one of the pirates that plague this realm?” she asked.</p>
<p>Midna had to admit that she did not have a good counterargument to that, but it did not keep her from trying. “As far as I am concerned, you can just tell him that you were kidnapped by the scary pirates. But none of that matters now; you still haven’t told me just how you were able to sneak your way onto my ship without anyone noticing you.”</p>
<p>Opening her mouth, the princess almost looked like she was planning to continue the discussion, and perhaps she would have, had it not been for how Midna raised an eyebrow. In that moment, she instead let out a tiny sigh, everything about it no doubt having been the result of countless of lessons in the art of silently informing an opponent about how little respect she had for her. “That was also something Ashei helped organise. You see, although you might think that you and your pirates are completely anonymous, there is still a certain pattern behind your attacks. I was able to analyse this pattern to use it to predict where I might be able to find you again.”</p>
<p>Only years of trying her best to mask her emotions made it so that Midna was able to hide the signs of how the fear that accompanied that sentence made her blood feel like it had been replaced with ice. They had found a pattern. Already, the countless meetings and discussions about how they might be able to make it so that it was not obvious where the base was located echoed in Midna’s mind as she tried to figure out just how much the king knew about the old military base she had found deep within the mountain all those years ago. Back then, the fact that the mountain had been located on the outskirts of the Twilight Realm, only a few hours aboard an airship away from Labrynna, had made it feel safe, but now, she could not help but wonder if it had been the obvious choice for her, deciding to stay close to everything she knew.</p>
<p>“Yeah?” Midna said, trying her best not to seem worried, “that explains how you made sure we would meet you and your people rather than just another merchant, but there is still the little issue of just how you made it from one ship to the other.”</p>
<p>“The harnesses.” the princess said it like it was something obvious. “After Ashei saw how you left the last time you attacked, we knew that the only way for me to make it onto your ship would be by sneaking past you and putting on a harness.”</p>
<p>“Jaggle,” Midna exclaimed as it slowly began to make sense to her, “that was the reason—you had taken his harness and then used the confusion that followed our escape to your advantage.”</p>
<p>“Exactly. I stayed close to the handrail during the attack, so when Ashei had got you surrounded and the harnesses were lowered back down, I put on one as well. And, well, you were all a bit alarmed when we finally reached the ship, so I don’t think anyone saw me when I slipped past you the find a place to hide until I was sure that you would not simply send me back.”</p>
<p>As the princess looked up at her, an almost self-satisfied expression on her face, Midna could only close her eyes and whisper the worst swearwords she knew to herself. How had she been able to miss it? How had this woman, with her dress that was so unlike the mismatched, stolen articles of clothing the rest of them wore, been able to make her way onto the ship undetected? Deep down, Midna already knew the answer, but she was not quite ready to admit to herself that this princess, a person who was naïve enough to choose to make her way onto an unknown ship to ask a pirate to elaborate on a comment that had been thrown her way in a rush of adrenaline and fury, had truly found a gap in their defences.</p>
<p>Instead, she looked over at her, trying her best to maintain the upper hand in the situation, unwilling to allow the princess to seize control of that as well, as she spoke. “So what you are trying to tell me is that you, despite truly believing that we are pirates, decided that you not only thought that we might have told you the truth, but that you would also sneak onto our ship, all because you wanted to know what I meant when I called your father a tyrant?”</p>
<p>“Yes!” for a second, it seemed that the image of the perfect princess cracked a little as she reached out, placing both of her hands on top of Midna’s. As the extent of her actions dawned on her, Midna saw her withdraw her hands, once more folding them in her lap, her voice trembling slightly as she continued. “I know that you must think that I am quite idealistic to trust you—”</p>
<p>Midna let out a laugh. “Idealistic? No, if this was really your plan, if you actually meant to put yourself in this situation, the only word I would ever use to describe you is the word naïve. Well, that and dumb to a degree where you pose a threat to your own wellbeing. You do realise that pirates traditionally let their prisoners walk the plank? I am sure you must. After all, I know that your father likes to keep the kingdom informed of just how evil we are. Tell me, Princess, can you fly? Do you have wings? If I throw you over the side of this ship, will you be able to use that pretty dress of yours to slow your fall?”</p>
<p>She had expected to see a hint of fear, but as the princess looked back up at her, she found that the determined look had returned. “No, I cannot. But I will not need to, will I? You said it yourself; you are not a murderer.”</p>
<p>The silence that followed felt like it lasted for years, although Midna knew that it could only have been a matter of about a minute. As much as she hated to admit it, the princess was correct; Midna would give in and let her know that it was true, that she really did not need to fear them, before she would allow anyone to harm her while she might still be blamed for it.</p>
<p>With a dry chuckle, Midna brought an end to the silence between them. “You are right, I am not a murderer. However, that does not change the fact that you thought it wise to trust a pirate who had attacked your ship mere moments before with your life, endangering not only yourself but your kingdom as well by willingly giving us the perfect hostage.”</p>
<p>The princess’ eyes shone as she responded with a smile. “I have also been told that I am quite the judge of character.”</p>
<p>Sending her a long look, Midna tried to determine whether or not she was imagining things if she thought it sounded like she was trying to actually talk with her. Finding that she did not like the conclusion, Midna stood up, letting the chair be pushed backwards as she gestured towards the door. “I am sure you am, and look at where that has taken you. You are stuck on a ship with the pirates I am sure your father spent ages warning you about. You do realise that we can’t exactly send you home now, right? The moment you learn of the location of our hideout, letting you go will be the same as outright telling your father where we are. Do you understand what this means for you?”</p>
<p>She must have been able to tell that stubbornly denying the fact that she could hardly have had time to think it through over the days that had passed since the last time they had met each other would not do her any favours, for rather than nodding and repeating the story of how she had made sure to talk with a captain named Ashei about the plan, the princess looked down at her hands. “I know that it was a rash decision. I would be lying if I said that it was not, but I simply could not continue on without finding out what your reasons for saying what you said were.” she looked up, meeting her gaze. “I know that you think this is foolish, but I have come to terms with the consequences of my actions. I would not have left my ship and the soldiers sworn to protect me if I had not been absolutely sure that I would not be able to forget about it.”</p>
<p>“And why is that?” Midna leant in, maintaining eye contact through it all. “I am sorry, but I still can’t see why you would want to do this. I mean, surely you had everything you could have ever wanted within the castle. Why would you throw all of that away to try to sneak onto my ship?”</p>
<p>For a moment, it looked like the princess almost did not understand the question. Frowning slightly, she looked up at Midna. “Because if there was even the slightest chance of you being right about my father, I knew that I would not be able to let another injustice pass by without doing anything. Is that not why you are doing this as well—attacking ships, I mean? With how much my father has talked about you and this ship, should your comment about him be true, you and I can unite in our quest for justice.”</p>
<p>Even as she shook her head, Midna had to admit that she had perhaps been a bit too quick to dismiss the idea of the princess being idealistic, although it seemed to border on being willing to completely ignore the reality around her to instead live in her own world where there was such a thing as justice to be found. “No,” she said, making sure to pause for a moment to ensure that she had heard her, “no, we are not trying to overthrow the king, nor are we ever going to. All we are doing is taking back what is rightfully ours.”</p>
<p>“But then why do you primarily target ships carrying goods from the Twilight Realm? Why do you attack the ships carrying coal? If you really are just another group of people who do not like that my father became the king rather than my uncle, why don’t you try to steal the things he actually uses rather than what would be sold in the villages?”</p>
<p>Sending her a smile, Midna held out her hand for her to take. “That is quite the puzzle you have there. Why don’t you try thinking about it for a bit, Twilight Princess?”</p>
<p>As she took her hand, the princess looked up at her. “Zelda. My name is Zelda.”</p>
<p>The way she almost appeared to sigh the word really made it sound like it was some great secret and not a name Midna had grown up hearing, but the fact that it seemed like she truly believed that all Midna knew about her was her title did at least give her an opportunity to laugh for a moment, pushing back the memories that threatened to resurface.</p>
<p>“Oh, I know, Princess. Trust me, I know what your name is, I just don’t care. Now, I will try my best to guarantee your safety by keeping you hidden until we get to our hideout, but then, I will have no choice but to inform the rest of the crew about the fact that you are here. Do you understand?” Midna did not catch herself in time, hearing how the sentence that should have been an order ended up becoming a question, making it so that the princess had time to nod. Cursing silently to herself, Midna made sure to let her voice grow colder as she nodded towards the door. “I will have to go outside to make sure that everyone is all right. This means that I will lock the door behind me to make sure you stay here. Feel free to do anything as long as you are quiet.” letting go of her hand, Midna was already halfway across the room when Zelda nodded at her.</p>
<p>“I understand.”</p>
<p>Spinning around, Midna could almost understand why Link and Ilia, despite having lost everything to Ganondorf, still seemed to hold the idea of royalty in high regard, for as she looked over at Zelda, even though her hair was a mess and she looked like she was drowning in the skirt of her dress, she somehow still managed to look like she was the one in control in that moment.</p>
<p>The sight of her standing there in the middle of a room with her head held high made something cold settle in her stomach, and for some reason, Midna could not ignore the little voice whispering that perhaps she really was the one of them who held the power, the key beneath Midna’s fingertips only being an illusion she could use to make herself believe she that had not lost control of the situation the moment she had found the princess inside the chest.</p>
<p>But she pushed the thought away, pulling the key out of keyhole to send the princess a sarcastic smile. “It wasn’t a question. Enjoy yourself. Or don’t. I really could not care less.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And now, Zelda has made her way onto Midna's ship, though the question still remains about whether or not she is telling the truth about her reasons for being there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Although the words he chose were friendly, Midna could tell from the way Hanch gripped onto the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white, that he would have chosen a harsher way to explain his opinions had it not been for how he, like the rest of them, had already realised that it would not help him.</p>
<p>“All I am saying is that we are fooling ourselves if we think that we can trust her! I am telling you this right now, the moment she gets the chance, that girl is going to leave, and where do you think she is going to go then? Exactly, directly back to her father to tell him where we are; she is going to be the reason everyone within this mountain is going to die! I say that we keep her here and make sure she will not get the chance to leave!”</p>
<p>“But if she stays, not only will we give her even more of an opportunity to learn more about us, providing the king with exactly the knowledge he will need to be able to find us, we also only barely have enough food to be able to get us through the winter!” Jaggle cut in, his arguments causing murmurs to spread around the table. “What I suggest is that we take her to a town far away from here. Then, she will not be able to tell the king where we are.”</p>
<p>Midna was barely able to bite back a sigh as she leant back in her chair while listening to how the murmurs became yells as the discussion once more reached a sound level that was far too high for any of them to feel comfortable in the meeting room. At least Rusl looked just as annoyed as she felt when Midna looked over towards the end of the table to gauge whether or not they would be able to reach an agreement today or if they would have to delay the task of figuring out what to do. Across from her, she could see Link’s empty chair, and although she knew how the reason for that was that he was still in the infirmary after having eating a piece of rotten meat, she could not help but feel jealous. Anything would have to be better than having to sit here and pretend that they were actually making progress when it had turned into a competition of who could shout the loudest only a minute after she had presented the issue to the rest of their makeshift council.</p>
<p>At last, it seemed that those around her had also grown tired of listening to Hanch’s attempts at getting a word in between Jaggle’s rants about how they were running out of food and that another person in the base would be the difference between survival and death, for Uli stood up, clearing her throat to catch their attention. “Thank you, Jaggle, for worrying about the current state of the larder, but seeing as I have spent the last several months here in the base, asking myself the exact same question every day, I can assure you that we will not starve just because we have another mouth to feed.” placing a hand on her stomach, Uli sent him an icy glare, and it seemed that Jaggle finally caught onto the meaning of her words as she added onto the barely hidden accusation. “I would never allow the situation to reach a point where I would not know if I would be able to feed my children, so trust me when I tell you that I feel confident enough to personally recommend letting the girl stay here.”</p>
<p>Mumbling something about how he had not meant it like that, Jaggle sank back into his chair, the moment of silence that followed giving Rusl the chance to begin to speak.</p>
<p>“Let us all remember that we only want to ensure that everyone in this base will be able to live. Now, with that in mind, we need to figure out which of our options will be the one that will do most to allow us to reach this goal. From what I have heard so far today, it seems that we can either allow the princess to stay and be prepared for her to remain here for an indefinite period of time or take her to a town as quickly as possible to ensure that she will not be able to tell her father anything about our location.” Rusl let his gaze travel through the room, resting on each of them for a second. “Is that not correct?” when he was met with a mumbled yes from most of them, Midna making sure to sit up a bit straighter and speaking clearly, Rusl nodded to himself. “I will not deny that there are risks associated with each of these options. If she stays, we will have to constantly live with the risk that she might have lied when telling Midna about her reasons for coming here and that each second she spends will us will only provide Ganondorf with even more knowledge about us, and if we let her go now, there is still a risk that she would be able to identify the area based on what she could see through the porthole in Midna’s cabin.” at the mention of her name, Midna could tell how half the room turned to look at her, something that only became even more evident as Rusl gestured towards her. “Midna, can you tell us again what you thought about her explanation? Do you trust her?”</p>
<p>At once incredibly aware of how everyone in the room was waiting for her to answer the question, waiting for the moment where she would either provide them with a reason to attack her or more evidence to act as an argument, Midna rose. “I wouldn’t say that I trust her per se,” she said, noting how Jaggle leant in over the table, looking like he could not wait to hear what she would say next, “but her reasons for coming here and the explanation she gave as to how she had been able to sneak onto the ship—it was one of the most naïve things I have ever heard in my life, but it did not feel like she was trying to lie to me, only that she is unbelievably stubborn and unable to realise when she has made a mistake.”</p>
<p>“So what you are saying is that we should let some girl who does not seem to be able to be even slightly discreet stay here with us and then simply hope that she will not give away the location?” once more, it was Jaggle who saw his chance to join the discussion again. “Even if we pretend that she would not try her best to lead her father to us, how would you be able to guarantee that she would not accidentally let them know that we are here?” Jaggle looked back over at Rusl. “We both know that her father will try his best to find her—she <em>is</em> a princess after all. It was bad enough when he was just after her,” Midna closed her eyes as the attention of everyone in the room once more turned back to rest on her, “but now, we are going to be caught, all because some princess decided that she was tired of life at court.”</p>
<p>Although Jaggle’s last argument was met with the sound of general agreement, it did not seem like it was enough to make Rusl lose heart, as he simply pointed towards Jaggle. “Exactly! She is the second in line to the Hyrulean throne. Even if Ganondorf finds out that we are here, he wouldn’t dare to attack us while his daughter was still with us.”</p>
<p>“That sounds an awful lot like kidnapping,” Fado observed. As they all turned to look at him, he quickly moved his feet away from the table to look over at Rusl, a crease appearing between his eyebrows as he gestured towards him. “I am sorry, but I just can’t help but feel like we would only act exactly like the pirates Ganondorf says we are if we try to keep her here to make sure he won’t attack us.”</p>
<p>“Not if she has chosen to be here.” and just like that, Midna could see how the rest the room began nodding along to Rusl’s words as he continued. “Look, I also want to see a world where we would all be able to do want we want to and where we would not even have to think about how having the princess close to us would provide us with an advantage in the event that her father would try to attack us, but that is the world we are living in right now, so we have to grow used to the fact that, sometimes, we have to dirty our hands if we want to keep people alive. However, that is not the case right now, given how the princess came to us of her own free will. No one here asked her to throw away her freedom to instead sneak onto the Shadow, in fact, with what I have heard so far, I would dare to say that most of us would have preferred for her to have stayed with her guards.” scattered murmurs forced Rusl to pause for a moment. “So, what I propose is this: we let her stay here. For now, we will not have to worry about a situation where she will want to leave, so I suggest that we simply lean back and see what happens. Who knows, although she is not the direct heir to the throne right now, as the princess of Hyrule, she is still a valuable piece in the game, more than enough to make up for any food she could ever eat. Is that not right, Jaggle?”</p>
<p>As the attention of everyone in the room once more fell on Jaggle, Midna almost felt sorry for him. With how he kept staring down at the table, a look of annoyance in his eyes, it could hardly have been more obvious what he thought of that plan. However, he still forced out a mumble, voicing his opinion, that perhaps Rusl was right, he just did not want for any of the issues that might arise as a consequences of going through with the plan to ever become his responsibility.</p>
<p>“And I will not let them become that,” Rusl responded, a smile spreading across his face as he no doubt saw how he had almost reached victory, “however, before we decide what to do, I feel like Midna, as the person who found and interrogated the princess, should also get to share her opinion.”</p>
<p>Midna could feel how her heart skipped a beat as the sounds of fabric rustling and chairs scraping over the stone floor informed her of how everyone turned to look at her. Making sure that her voice would not break halfway through, she coughed into her sleeve, giving herself a second to collect her thoughts before she did as Rusl had asked her to. “I think,” she began, speaking as slowly as she could without revealing how she had hoped that she would be able to hide and let the others make a decision, “that the princess is naïve, wilfully blind to the world around her, and so determined to believe that we are some kind of rebel group with our own rules and a will to fight for the innocents to the extent where it was enough to make her head directly into what should have appeared to be a dangerous situation for her. However, she did seem to understand that once we had brought her back home to our base, she would not be able to leave, so I doubt we would have to worry about her trying to return home to her father.” for some reason, even though Midna could still see the apprehensive look the princess had sent her when first asked for her reasons for not wanting to return to Hyrule Castle as she closed her eyes, it did not feel right to share that with the rest of the room, leaving her to think of something else. “But if it is a worry that will be enough to keep some of you from feeling comfortable letting her stay, I will make my ship available as a compromise. There are empty rooms below deck, and while they are not up to the standard of Hyrule Castle, they should be enough for her. If we lock the door, it would be enough to keep her from being able to escape, even if she wanted to.” out of the corner of her eye, Midna could see how Fado had rested his chin against his hand, having his elbow propped up on the table.</p>
<p>She could not blame him for that. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that, really, they were only doing what they had to do to protect themselves, that the princess had had every chance to stay on her own ship rather than hiding in their storeroom try to make it so that they would not find her until they had landed inside their base, it was not quite enough to silence the voice telling her that they were nearing the point where they would become exactly what Ganondorf had always claimed that they were: pirates and kidnappers.</p>
<p>The thought that perhaps that had been the plan from the beginning, that maybe the princess had been sent as the first step of a plan to give the citizens of Hyrule another reason not to trust, them appeared in her mind, making itself heard above everything else, but for once, it was easy to silence it. Not only had Midna not seen anything while talking with the princess that would act as evidence that she might be a good enough actress for Ganondorf to give her such a responsibility, there was also something undefinable about her behaviour that made Midna sure that, while naïve and misguided, her reasons for giving them the burden they were now discussing were not a part of some greater plan.</p>
<p>It was Rusl who cut through the noise of people arguing about her points. Glancing over at her, he barely needed to look over at Jaggle to silence him before he had got the chance to return to the subject of food, leaving the silent room ready for Rusl to speak once more. “So that is what you think? You think that she should stay?”</p>
<p>“Yes. I think she should stay. Not only would sending her away mean risking that she would still be able to remember the location of this mountain, but with her place within the royal family, this could be our chance to find out more about Ganondorf, to figure out how to avoid capture.”</p>
<p>“Then it is settled then.” Rusl shot a look at the people around the table. “Does anyone want to object to this plan?”</p>
<p>As she saw how no one, not even Jaggle spoke up, Midna forced herself to look down at the table, making sure that her expression did not reveal any of her thoughts. It was just like the last meeting and the one before that. Every time she would share her opinions, the rest of the council would end up agreeing with her, no matter how much time they had spent arguing over the subject before. Was it not for how she knew that everyone would deny it, most likely by trying to claim that she had convinced them with her arguments, she might have tried to order them to disagree with her, but already, Midna knew that it would be futile.</p>
<p>Clapping his hands, Rusl rose from his chair. “Then it is settled. The princess will stay inside one of the rooms in the ship. Midna, will you inform her of our decision?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Great. Now, let us close the meeting.”</p>
<p>Midna was the first out of the door, all but running to make sure she would not have to face any questions from the rest of the council. Not for the first time during those last few hours that had been filled with discussions about what they should do with the princess, she found herself wishing that Link had been there with her. Although she was more than just aware of how they would most likely still have listened to her even if Link had argued against her points, it would have been nice to have someone in there who would not be afraid to disagree with her.</p>
<p>Her feet seemed to take her to her ship almost without Midna thinking about it, and before she had even got the chance to think about what she would say to the princess, she had turned the key and stepped into her cabin.</p>
<p>The princess had been sitting on the chair, but a she looked up and saw Midna, she soon pushed herself up. Even when she was standing, Midna was still at least a head taller than her, something she tried to focus on rather than how the princess took a step towards her, almost like she expected for her to have come to escort her away from the ship.</p>
<p>Making sure not to make eye contact, Midna gestured towards the floor below them. “They decided to let you stay—”</p>
<p>Immediately, she could see how a relieved smile made the princess’s eyes look almost like they were shining, a little of the tense atmosphere disappearing from the air between them as she tried to catch her gaze. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Don’t thank me yet. The only reason they made that decision was because we agreed to keep you within one of the rooms below the deck of this ship.” Midna shrugged, hoping that the princess would understand that she truly could not care less about what some spoilt princess might think about the prospect of that. “I only came here to tell you that and to lead you to your new room.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” the princess nodded. “I understand that completely.”</p>
<p>Although Midna knew that she should have expected for it to happen, the way the annoyance filled her almost managed to take her by surprise, making her snap at the princess. “This is not a matter of whether or not you understand. We decided that you will have to stay there, so that is what you will do. What you think about this plan does not concern us.”</p>
<p>Across from her, the princess drew back, her gaze falling to the floor. “I see. I am sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don’t—” Midna bit back a groan, “just… follow me.”</p>
<p>They made their way back outside without saying another word, Midna making sure not to think about the way the princess looked around her as they crossed the deck and let the stairs lead them into the dusty hallway beneath it, almost like she wanted to get a chance to take in as much of the base as she could before she would have to head inside again. It was not her problem that she had chosen to come with them. If she wanted to stroll through a flowery meadow, she should have stayed in the castle. At least that was what Midna told herself as she threw open the first door to her right, only stopping for a moment to gesture for the princess to enter the room.</p>
<p>If she was disappointed at the sight that met her, the princess hid it well. Midna had to admit that as she watched her cross the threshold, making her way over to the bed that had been pushed up against the wall that separated the room from the next with the same elegance as if she had been in a castle and not in a room that was small enough for her to reach the bed within five steps.</p>
<p>“We will make sure to food sent in here for you,” Midna told her, doing her best to ignore how the princess turned around to look at her with an expression in her eyes that once more made her doubt whether or not she had been too quick to judge her intellect, “if there is anything you would like to ask for, you can tell us then, but let me warn you in advance that we do not have silk bedsheets or eiderdowns.”</p>
<p>Midna did not miss how the princess reached out to pat the quilt with her hand for a moment before she directed her attention back towards her again, nodding once. “Of course.”</p>
<p>Debating whether or not it had been meant as an insult, Midna decided that even if it had, getting to hear the door clang shut would be more satisfying than staying there to talk with her, so, only casting one last glance at the princess, she closed the door, pausing to make sure that it was properly locked, before letting the key fall into her pocket as she backed away from the door, willing her thoughts to remain within the reach of her crumbling sense of control. It was not worth her time to let the princess occupy her thoughts even more than she already had, and Midna knew exactly what she could do to make sure she had a distraction.</p>
<p>The hallway that took her deeper into the mountain had once felt like it was far longer than what the constraints of the mountain itself should have permitted for it to be, but by now, Midna knew that it was only due to how the floor sloped slightly below her feet, a sign that whoever had first built the fortress had tried their best to make it so that the sick soldiers would not be able to infect the rest. Perhaps it had been needed once, back when the Twilight Realm had had a proper military rather than having the Hyrulean soldiers pretend that they were not simply waiting for the opportunity for them their worth to arise, allowing them to return back home to the light, but for as long as Midna had lived in the base, the walk to the infirmary had only made an already sour mood turn even worse with every door she had to open. The Twilight Realm deserved better than what it had got, she knew that. Although the servants had made it sound like it had once been kingdom just like Hyrule, when Midna would look down at it from above, she found it difficult to believe that the land that lay within the shadows of the Eldin Mountains had ever been more than what it now was: a place it seemed that most of the soldiers she sometimes saw during their patrols through the forests around the base could not wait to get away from, talking about how much they looked forward to the moment where they would be able to return to the capital so loudly that it alerted her to their presence ages before they would perhaps otherwise have been able to spot her.</p>
<p>Slamming the door to the infirmary open with perhaps a bit more force than what was strictly necessary, Midna forced herself to take a deep breath while walking over to where Ilia had fallen asleep in the chair next to Link’s bed. Being angry and losing her composure would not help them at all. Indeed, it would only make it more likely that she would follow in her mother’s footsteps and make the same mistakes as she had done. The Twilight Realm had been lost years ago, the sooner she accepted that, the more determined she could be in her quest to cause Ganondorf as much pain as possible.</p>
<p>Link must have been able to guess what she was thinking about as she went to pull another chair over to his bedside, for he sent her a little smile, barely raising his head from the pillow. “Did you finish the meeting or did you finally snap and yell at someone?” he asked.</p>
<p>The sound that escaped her sounded like the halfway point between a laugh and a sigh. “One of these days, I might actually do it, you know. However, it was not today, although they really tried their best to make it happen. You should have seen it; it was just a never-ending discussion about food, power, and safety, with all of them refusing to try to say something new, instead repeating the same arguments over and over again. But, of course, the moment Rusl asks me about my opinion, they all turn around and agree with me, suddenly pretending that they were not arguing against the idea mere minutes before.”</p>
<p>“Well, what was the verdict then?”</p>
<p>“She is going to stay with us. Right now, we will not have to worry about us keeping her here against her will, so we decided to let that topic wait until it will become relevant.” Midna could already imagine how exhausting that discussion would be. Hopefully, the princess would remain a naïve fool for a long time. “I just took her to one of the empty rooms in the ships—we ended up reaching an agreement, but it required for us to have a way to make sure that she would not be able to leave even if she wanted to.”</p>
<p>“Wait a moment, you let her stay in one of the rooms? The ones below deck? Midna…” Link pushed himself up to rest on his elbows, the sound of the bed creaking below him making Ilia mumble something in her sleep. As he looked back over at her, Midna could already see what he was about to say written across his face, the crease between his eyebrows only making it even more obvious, and yet, she could not find the energy to interrupt him, instead letting him continue, “are you sure… are you sure that it is a good idea? I mean, I understand the reasons for us having to take precautions, but—”</p>
<p>Avoiding his gaze, Midna forced herself not to take her frustrations out on the frayed edge of the bedsheet. “I didn’t really have much of a choice. We had to make sure that we could lock the door, so it was the ship or one of the cells. And despite how much I would like to see her realise that this base is nothing like Hyrule Castle, well, the cells are damp and cold—not exactly a place for a princess, especially when we have to take the fact into account that letting her suffer would be the same as proving Ganondorf right.”</p>
<p>“Of course, I can see that, it is just…” a single glare from her was all it took for Link to clear his throat and change the topic of conversation, “so, how is she? I fear that Rusl forgot about his promise to come see me, because I haven’t really heard much about her since yesterday.”</p>
<p>Keeping her gaze fixed on a spot directly next to his head, Midna made sure to sound nonchalant. “All things considered, I suppose it could be worse. She is one of the most naïve persons I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. It almost feels like she is not living in the same world as the rest of us with how she seems so sure that everything here is great and that we are somehow these heroes who have found each other due to our shared goal of making the world a better place.” Midna snorted. “Can you believe it? She was so sure that I had this huge speech planed, explaining why I found her father’s rule unjust, almost waiting for me to tell her that I was grateful for how she had decided to listen to me. When I told her that we were just trying to survive, she almost looked disappointed, but then again, I suppose survival is an easy thing when you are living within Hyrule Castle.”</p>
<p>She had expected for Link to agree with her. After all, although she was aware of how having spent years of his life listening to the envoys from the capital sing the king’s praises, there had to be a limit to how much of it he could take.</p>
<p>But, to Midna’s surprise, rather than nodding along, Link looked down, almost like he was trying to figure out what to say. It wasn’t until she had halfway decided to ask for a response that he finally tilted his head to the side and looked up at her. “But is it really that bad?”</p>
<p>“That she is perhaps the most naïve person I have ever met?” Midna could almost not believe what she was hearing. What was happening to the world around her, first the princess having appeared aboard her ship, and now this? It almost felt like some kind of grand secret that everyone but her knew about. “Yes, I would say it is.” when Link still did not look convinced, she leant in, hoping that it was all just another strange reaction to the bad meat. “Look, refusing to accept that the world is not just, that there is no reward for being kind, is bad and it is what will get us all killed if we aren’t careful.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I am not trying to argue against that. It is just… well, what if it is just her having hope for the future? Is that really a problem?”</p>
<p>Midna’s response was at the tip of her tongue in an instant. “When it is naïveté, then yes, it really is a problem.”</p>
<p>However, it appeared that Link was not willing to let go of the issue just yet. In fact, it seemed that he was only finding more energy, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “But this could be our chance. Think about it, Midna, she is the second in line to the throne. Do you know how much she could help us if we only make her join our cause? She would be able to do far more than any of us can ever hope to achieve as long as we are just sitting around out here, attacking ships to survive.”</p>
<p>“We are not trying to do anything!” for a moment, Midna could feel the façade slip away from her, a quiet kind of white-hot anger spreading through her veins. “If you want to risk your life trying to kill both the king and the crown prince then you can go right ahead and do that, but do not try to twist what we are doing into that, for that is not what we promised each other! This base, all of this,” her wild gesture, trying to encompass everything, from the hangar to the cells, was almost enough to make her knock over the glass of water on the table next to them, but at the last moment, Midna was able to catch herself, trying to regain control of her voice as she continued, “this is us trying to stay alive. We attack the ships to stay alive and to take back what is rightfully ours, <em>not</em> as some part of a greater plan to overthrow the king. If that is something you want, then feel free to leave, I won’t try to stop you, but don’t think that I will let you drag me down with you. Although you might still not have realised this, some of us know that any attempt at what you are planning is only going to lead everyone involved to their deaths!”</p>
<p>It was the sound of Ilia moving slightly that brought Midna back to her senses. Looking over at her, Midna could already feel how the anger was beginning to lose its grip on her again, instead being replaced with the crushing sense of knowing that, sooner or later, she would have to apologise for her outburst.</p>
<p>“Midna…” Link reached out for her hand, and although the worried tone to his words made her feel even worse than if he had yelled at her as well, she let him take it, “I know that. I wasn’t trying to convince you to do anything. All I wanted was to tell you that perhaps having Princess Zelda here will not only be a burden. However,” the glance to the side revealed what he was about to say, and, oh, why could she not have covered her ears, forcing herself not to listen, why did she have to subject herself to looking down at him as he added, “although I know that you are just doing what you think is best for everyone… people are growing more and more restless with each passing day. It is not just enough for them to survive anymore, Midna, they want to live, they want to be able to leave this mountain without having to constantly be alert to make sure that they will not be spotted by the patrols. They need hope, and if you can’t give it to them,” Link shook his head, “I fear that they will leave when spring arrives.”</p>
<p>The way his gaze came to rest on Ilia sent the same kind of icy fear that might have filled her if she had jumped into the river in the middle of winter washing in over Midna. He could not mean that, he could not seriously mean that he had discussed leaving her here all alone. But although she tried her best to dispel the idea, the horrible truth was that it made so much sense that she could not deny it, not with all the times she had seen Link and Ilia share hushed conversations, the way Ilia had seemed to spend all of her time working on Epona.</p>
<p>Epona.</p>
<p>Her mind was spinning as all the pieces slid into place. Of course that was why she was working on the ship all the time, it had never been her way of trying her best to help them, it had always been a way for her to know that, should she decide that life within the base was too restricting, too safe, she would be able to leave with Link.</p>
<p>Despite how hard she fought against it, Midna could feel how the tears made her eyes sting at the thought of Link and Ilia leaving. She should have been prepared for it, should have known that, sooner or later, no matter how intelligent those around her seemed, they still carried the hope that they would be the ones to do what no one else had been able to do before them, truly believing that they alone could bring an end to Ganondorf’s rule.</p>
<p>As she spoke, Midna could hear how her voice trembled. “If it is hope that people want, then they will have to find it elsewhere. I am only trying to keep as many people alive as possible. I thought you wanted the same thing, but now, I can see that I was wrong, so I wish you and Ilia the best of luck with your plan. You are going to need it for you will not survive your own stupidity for long, but I suppose that that is not my problem anymore. Goodbye.”</p>
<p>At least Ilia’s presence brought her one hidden gift as it kept Link from being able to continue the conversation when Midna turned around and left the room, walking as quickly as she possibly could without outright running to hide how her shoulders were shaking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By the time, the moment for her to bring the princess her dinner, a single glance at the mirror on the wall inside her cabin was enough to confirm what Midna already knew deep down: that her eyes were still red and puffy, a sight that was sure to let the princess know that she had been crying. But there was nothing she could do about it other than hoping that perhaps the naïveté the princess had displayed so far would be enough to make her believe that it was simply due to her having cried about all the people she had yet to save, so, with a heavy sigh escaping her, Midna began to make her way over to the door, mentally trying to convince herself that attempting to delay the inevitable would not help her.</p>
<p>“I have your dinner here, Your Royal Highness,” Midna said as she pushed open the door with her foot, voice dripping with sarcasm, “would it please the princess to enjoy it in here, or would she perhaps prefer sitting in the courtyard while the birds chirp around her?”</p>
<p>At least it seemed that she noticed the sarcasm dripping from every word. Midna supposed it should have been a relief to see that the princess was at least not completely incapable of understanding that she was not some courageous leader of the rebellion, but for some reason, seeing how she avoided meeting her gaze only made her feel empty.</p>
<p>Placing the plate onto the table, Midna tried her best to push the feeling away, not to allow it to affect her, pushing its way into her mind. It was not her fault; if the princess did not like being here, she could just have stayed on her own ship. Then she would be at home in the castle, surrounded by servants ready to bring her everything she could ever need, rather than standing here, listening to Midna trying her best to pretend that she was all right and not constantly hearing Link tell her how he had considered leaving her all alone again over and over inside her head.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the frustration over the fact that she was not even able to make the princess snap at her the way she had snapped at Link that made her just that little bit more annoyed than she would otherwise have been. Perhaps it would have happened no matter what. No matter the explanation, reality was, that as Midna looked over to see how the princess looked at the plate, not entirely able to hide her reaction to the meal, the disappointment with how it consisted only of a chunk of bread, a few carrots, and a slice of meat that Uli had made sure to inspect once more after Link had been sent to the infirmary, the same kind of anger that had made her storm away from Link, the one she knew was unjust, rose up inside of her.</p>
<p>“Oh, I am sorry, Princess, I know that this must be unlike anything you were used to eating. But let me tell you one thing, this is not the castle. We do not have the ability to serve a six-course menu at every meal like you are used to. We only just have enough to make it through the winter, and since we had not expected for you to come here as well, this,” she gestured towards the plate, “is already making it so that we will have to be careful if we do not wish to starve.”</p>
<p>The fact that, really, most of their problems had not been caused by having to feed one more, but rather by the fact that the lamb shank that Rusl had brought home earlier that month had rotten, pushed against her anger, but Midna made sure not to let it show on her face, instead staring at the princess, almost hoping that this would be what finally made her unable to take it anymore, to finally accept that she had not just joined a group of heroes, and that she was actually stuck inside this room with someone who would not even try to act like she did not find her mere presence an insult.</p>
<p>But it seemed that even now, even as Midna threw accusations at her that by all means were unjust, the princess simply accepted it, looking down at the floor as she bowed her head. “I am sorry; I did not think to realise that. Forgive me.”</p>
<p>There was something in her tone of voice, something Midna could not quite define, that sent a shiver down her back, the way the princess had mumbled the words when she had first said that she had her reasons for not wanting to return to Hyrule Castle echoing in her ears. As much as she would have liked to deny it, Midna knew that it was that little moment where she could almost see through the etiquette that made her let out a sigh, feeling how the anger evaporated in an instant. “You have nothing to apologise for. Truth to be told, I also find that a poor imitation of a meal, but it is all we have to offer right now.”</p>
<p>It seemed that her moment of weakness somehow made Zelda believe that this was it, that she had reached into her core and found the righteous rebel she had set out to find when she had first sneaked onto her ship, for she looked up at her, her brows drawn together in a worried expression. “Is it really true? Do you starve?”</p>
<p>And just like that, Midna could feel how the familiar anger at how she dared to come here, making them bring her back home and feed her, only to then turn around and try to insult them with her pity, returned. Drawing back so quickly that she barely managed not to stumble into the wall, she let her voice drop to a growl. “Not right now we don’t, so just focus on yourself and eat your dinner!”</p>
<p>Pretending that she did not see the hurt look on the princess face, Midna turned around and left the room, making sure to slam the door behind her and letting the keys rattle for a moment just to make sure that the princess had got the message. But for some reason, as she slipped the keys back into her pocket, she did not feel good about it, the rush of adrenaline that should have filled her after finally getting a moment to take out her frustration on someone refusing to wash over her and granting her a moment of a feeling that might be anything but the horrible hollow sense of loss.</p>
<p>Resisting the urge to lock herself in her cabin to avoid having to face anyone, Midna made it back onto the deck, finding comfort in her decision to set out to find Rusl. Although she doubted it, there was a risk that Link might have told him about his plans of leaving her, and if that was the case, she had to make sure that she would get to him first to convince him to stay.</p>
<p>Letting the mission in front of her give her more energy, Midna banished the princess from her thoughts as she let herself fall the last metre from the rope ladder and onto the floor. She could make it become all right again, she just had to remain in control.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! I know that I may not always leave a note saying that on a chapter, but I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read this :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the following week, Midna began to feel how winter had arrived, each morning being colder than the one before. By the time Monday arrived and she woke up to find a little layer of frost on her quilt, it was almost enough to make her give in and close the gates, but the thought of just how much coal such an action would use, how she might be the reason for why the Shadow would never be able to fly again, was enough for her to push away the idea. She had survived harsh winters before and this one would be no different. With another quilt, she might not even be able to feel it at all.</p>
<p>So although the weather sometimes required for the to wake up in the middle of the night to pace around her room for a minute just to make sure she could still feel her hands, Midna refused to give in. A cold winter meant a warm spring, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself when she would wake up in the middle of the night, shaking so much that she found herself unable to go back to sleep. It was all just something she had to endure, just for a little while longer.</p>
<p>But while the weather around her only grew colder, the warmth the princess almost seemed to emit the three times Midna would visit her each day only increased. More than once, Midna had found herself standing in front of the room, wondering how she was able to stay so hopeful, how she did not seem to feel cold at all. The explanation that given how she was closer to the ground and with her room being located close to the bow, as far away from the gates and the harsh winds as she could come, she might not be as exposed to the power of the elements as Midna was seemed realistic, but with how Midna still had to hide her shaking hands when placing the plate in front of the princess, telling her to leave it by the door when she was finished, she knew that she was lying to herself. It was not only a matter of the location of their rooms; it simply could not explain it all.</p>
<p>However, despite how she seemingly had no problem staying warm, the princess had been uncharacteristically quiet that past week, only mumbling a soft thankyou when Midna would place the latest meal on the table. Of course, Midna would never complain about getting the chance to simply finish the task and then leave without having to waste time trying to make their unwanted guest realise that they really were just a bunch of people who were only there because they would all be thrown into prison if the king found them rather than some kind of secret rebel base, but she had to admit that the silence was beginning to worry her a little. After all, as long as the princess was there with them, she was their responsibility, and while Midna would not lose any sleep over whether or not she found her room comfortable when compared to Hyrule Castle, outright making her sick was not her goal.</p>
<p>Perhaps the worry was why Midna, rather than simply hurrying to leave the room, turned back around to look at the princess that Wednesday morning, not entirely sure that she had really heard correctly.</p>
<p>“I am sorry,” she said, making sure to keep her voice at least somewhat light. To describe it as friendly would perhaps have been to give her too much credit, but right then, Midna truly did try her best not to sound like she would snap at her at a moment’s notice, “did you say something?”</p>
<p>As she looked at her, the princess began to swing her legs back and forth, making the bed creak underneath her. “Yes,” she mumbled, making it so that Midna almost had to lean in to make sure she did not miss a single word, “I am sorry. For everything. I… I know that I am a burden for everyone right now, I know that you are wasting more and more food every time you come here to give me that,” nodding towards the plate in Midna’s hand, she almost managed to make it sound like the meal Uli had prepared for her would have been enough to feed a small country and not just a few slices of bread with a bit of butter on top of it, “and I know that I have done absolutely nothing to repay any of you. But most of all, I am sorry for how I have to ask something of you when I have done absolutely nothing to earn that.”</p>
<p>Against her better judgement, Midna took a step forward, pulling the chair over to sit down in front of the princess. She should have agreed with her, have told her that she was right, that she truly had done nothing to deserve asking for anything from her, but right then, her curiosity was stronger than the little pang of annoyance that shot through her as tried to collect her thoughts. “Oh, I see. And may I ask what it is that you want to ask of me?” cocking her head, Midna made sure to place the plate onto the table, just to make sure that if the princess’ request was as naïve as everything else she had seen so far, her jumping to her feet to storm out of the room would not result in letting the food hit the floor.</p>
<p>Even as she had got permission to let her know exactly what she wanted, Midna could see how the woman across from her hesitated. As she grabbed a fistful of the fabric of her dress, the blue colour seeming a little less brilliant as they sat there in the dusty air that filled the room, Midna could almost make herself forget about how she had first met her, how everything from her hairstyle, to the lace on the dress, to the fact that she had run to her own secret room during the attack, seemed like it could almost have been a way for her to ensure that Midna would never be able to forget about how she, despite how she insisted on believing in the best of them, was the princess of Hyrule.</p>
<p>Finally, perhaps sensing that Midna’s patience would not last for much longer, the princess looked up and met her gaze. “I—sometimes, if I really try and they walk right past this ship, I can listen to what people are saying. I know that many of you want me to leave, would rather send me to a nearby town so that I can return home to Castle Town.” maybe the princess could see how Midna was about to cut in, for she hurried to remove any chances of her doing that, letting go of the dress as she continued. “I can’t say that I do not understand why, because I really do. I sneaked onto your ship, tried to hide to ensure that you would bring me back home with you, and now I am here, unable to do anything other than using up resources—and do not try to tell me that you have plenty of food, I have heard arguments like that before, I know that you are all trying to make what little you have last for as long as you possibly can. You might not starve, but you had not exactly planned for me to be here either. No, I know that I have no right to ask anything of you right now, but if it comes to that, I would be willing to beg for you to promise me one thing.” she looked up at Midna, and for a second, Midna had to fight the instinct to move backwards as she saw how her calm demeanour disappeared for a split second, instead making way for what seemed to be honest despair. “Will you promise me not to send me home?”</p>
<p>That was what it took for Midna to regain her composure. Sitting up a bit straighter, she made sure to hide her thoughts, the questions of just what about this tiny room and the food that must have been nothing like what she was used to had made her decide that staying here would be better than having to return home to a life of luxury and safety already waiting at the tip of her tongue, behind a little smile. “And why is that then?” she asked. “Don’t get me wrong, you were absolutely right about not being in a position to ask for anything, but please, do explain why it matters so much to you to stay here. What is it about this,” she gestured towards the room, “that makes you prefer this life to that of a princess?”</p>
<p>Once more, Midna could feel how there was something unsaid, something waiting right beneath the surface as the princess averted her gaze. However, as she looked at her face, Midna already knew that she would not be able to reach it, would not be able to see what it was that she had sensed moments earlier.</p>
<p>“I… after what I have seen here, after how I have experienced first-hand how you struggle to make it through the winter, I would not be able to return home and know that you are still out here, barely able to survive.” she looked down at the floor. “I want to stay because it is the right thing to do.”</p>
<p>Had it not been for how she had at least got a moment to prepare herself for the same old explanation, Midna would have been unable not to groan. But as it was now, she just so managed to bite back the sigh, instead letting out a humourless laugh. “So let me get this right.” she crossed her legs, mimicking the way the princess had sat back when they had been in her cabin. From the way a blush spread across her face, Midna knew that she had noticed it. “Because you have seen the injustices that happen out in the world—injustices, mind you, that your father is responsible for—you decide that, rather than returning to the castle and claiming the power you were given at birth, you will stay here with us, knowing full well that you cannot help us with anything and that you will only make the amount of food we have to get us through the winter dwindle even quicker than it otherwise would? Is that what you are saying, or have I misunderstood something?”</p>
<p>“You can be the princess and still be powerless, you know.”</p>
<p>The reply came so suddenly, the anger in Zelda’s voice being so unexpected, that, for a moment, all Midna could do was to stare at her. But then she managed to regain the power of speech. “And you would know everything about that, would you not, Twilight Princess?” seeing how the title made her wince slightly, Midna continued. “Tell me, did your father ever tell you the story of just how you received that title?” not giving her the chance to answer, Midna let a scornful laughter fill the room. “I doubt he did. After all, bragging about invading the neighbouring kingdom and making the queen flee is not exactly something that helps you craft a story about yourself being the forgotten younger brother who rose up to fight his older brother for the throne when their father died because you could see how the title of king was already corrupting your brother, is it now?”</p>
<p>She had expected for the princess to look away, to become angry, perhaps even to cry. For her to knit her brows in confusion was not something Midna had prepared herself for, but she had not survived for all those years by being unable to hide her feelings, so, taking a deep breath, she made sure that her face was a completely blank mask as the princess looked at her, the sparkle in her eyes making the feeling of how she had perhaps already told her too much grow inside her stomach.</p>
<p>“My father told me that the queen was killed during a coup d’état, that some of her generals had turned against her. Everyone knows about it, how the kingdom was in disarray until he could not stand to look at the death and desperation of a kingdom that was only separated from Hyrule by a few mountains.” even as Zelda spoke, with a tone that let Midna know how she was surely recalling all the history lessons she had ever received throughout her education, the little seed of doubt that had been planted was still noticeable in the way she did not look at her, instead looking down at her hands as she fiddled with the fabric of her skirt. “He even decreed that we should have a day dedicated to mourning her.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I am sure he mourns her death. I am sure he is careful to force out a few tears while giving a speech about how she was a kind and just queen and how everyone should remember what happened and learn from it that they must never attack their ruler. But deep down, I know that your father only feels glee during that day. After all, the moment he invaded the Twilight Realm, the moment the queen saw herself forced to flee to avoid dying with everyone else still inside the palace, he had managed to ensure that he could continue to expand his kingdom now that he had both managed to attack his biggest opponent and make sure that he would never have to worry about his supply of coal, not with how the ground all over the Twilight Realm is practically filled with it.” finally, it seemed that Midna had succeeded in truly rendering Zelda speechless, for the princess only stared at her, a look of dawning horror on her face only spurring her to continue. “Yes, that is how powerless you are. You are second in line to a throne capable of murder. All that is between you and that kind of power is your brother and father. Really, with how determined you can be, I suppose I should just send you back home. Perhaps you idealistic belief in doing what is right would be enough to let you kill my enemies for me. But,” Midna made sure to sigh dramatically, “since you prefer to stay here rather than to confront your father with the same kind of energy you showed back on the ship, I will not do that.”</p>
<p>“You won’t?”</p>
<p>Although she knew that she should not have let the barely hidden surprise and relief get to her, Midna could feel it move right past her guard, hitting her directly in the heart. Still, she tried her best not to let it show, pushing it back down. “No. I will not pretend that I like you or that I care all that much about why you have decided to pretend to fight for the rights of those around you when you could easily have stayed inside the castle and hoped that you would get to wield that amount of power someday, but I made a promise and unlike your father, I do not give my word only to then betray someone.”</p>
<p>She wanted to be able to stay cold, but as the princess rushed forward, throwing her arms around her, for just a second, Midna felt how her body reacted without thinking, bringing her arms up to return the embrace. As she finally managed to regain control, forcing her arms back down, Midna could not have been more grateful for how the princess would not be able to see how her face was growing warmer, Midna having to furiously remind herself that no matter how good the princess was at making her believe that she truly only wanted to create a world where everyone could be happy, she could not allow that kind of naïve idealism to move past her defences. It was exactly the thing that got people killed in the end, and Midna was not dumb enough to think that, no matter what the princess said about not wanting to return home, the moment things became ugly, she would hesitate to run back to her father to let him protect her, leaving them all to die.</p>
<p>Standing up, Midna tried to find a little joy in how the sudden movement made the princess fall back, hitting the edge of the bed in the process, but no matter how hard she fought, she knew she was failing.</p>
<p>“Was that all, or do you have any more requests?” Midna could hear her voice shake. “Don’t be shy; I am sure that everyone here would be more than happy to do supply you with everything the Twilight Princess could ever want. After all, we are still within the borders of your kingdom, at least if your father is the one to decide.”</p>
<p>“Why do you call me that?” Zelda looked up. “Why do you call me Twilight Princess?”</p>
<p>She could see how she was slowly beginning to move past the façade, so, making sure that she was ready to show the princess a blank face should she come with a reply she had not prepared herself for, Midna leant closer towards her, moving so far over the edge of the chair that, a millimetre more, and she would have fallen over. “Because you are the princess of the Twilight Realm—or, sorry, I think your father would prefer for it to be called a province now.” Midna clicked her tongue, eyes full of fake worry. “After all, that is what he does, doesn’t he? Renames things and changes the story of how it happened to better fit his image. And since you are his daughter, him being the king of the Twilight Realm means that you are the princess. You should accept the title; it means a lot to the people here. Perhaps if you did that, you could begin to learn a bit from your father, for despite what your books might have taught you, you do not remain in power by being soft. You father seized power by being merciless in every single one of his actions, so if you think that it will be possible for you to believe in all of your ideas about how the world should be without finding yourself on the run very quickly, I am sorry to tell you that you will have to learn that lesson to right now.” Midna got up from her chair, feeling how the adrenaline began to wear off as she turned around to leave the room, instead making way for the ever-present fear of leaving the ship, wanting to take her mind off the issue of the princess, only to find that Ilia had finished Epona and left the base along with Link.</p>
<p>However, she had only made it halfway through the room when she heard Zelda stand up as well, her voice growing stronger with every word as she moved over towards her. “You say that I should change things by using power, and yet, you have admitted to the fact that you have no goal of ever standing up to my father. You hide here while you tell me to fight. How can you claim that I am a fool for believing that you can change the world with kindness and by knowing when you are faced with a battle you cannot win with brute strength alone, when you are hiding out here?”</p>
<p>“Because, Twilight Princess,” Midna sent her a saccharine smile, “unlike you, I am not a princess.”</p>
<p>“Plenty of people have changed the world without ever having held a title,” Zelda argued, “as long as you fight for what is right, you will not need any of that.”</p>
<p>“It must be nice for someone who grew up within a castle to be so sure that she would still possess the same amount of power if she had been born to a teacher and his wife. Tell me, Princess, if you were faced with an army, what is your plan to defeat them? I mean, with how confident you were just a minute ago that having an army at your disposal would not at all be the deciding factor in the question of whether you would live or die, you must have knowledge of some secret technique that will allow you to take on an entire army single-handedly.” as the princess remained silent, Midna lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, would you look at that. It seems that you do not know the answer to that puzzle. Perhaps it might be a sign that you would need much more than just a sense of idealism and the belief that you are doing what is right if you want to bring justice to this country.”</p>
<p>It should have felt great to see how Zelda’s shoulder slumped, to know that she might finally have lifted the veil of naiveté from her eyes, but as Midna waited for the moment where the joy at seeing the princess defeated would arrive, she only felt hollow, empty. The seconds passed, Midna’s heartbeat counting them for her, and Zelda’s eyes grew shiny, making her blink wildly, clearly trying her best not to cry in front of her.</p>
<p>Perhaps that was what made Midna reach out to place a hand on her shoulder, already struggling to find the words before she had even opened her mouth. “Look, I am sorry, but I need you to understand that I have no plans of trying to change the world. I have told you this before, but it seems that I will have to tell you again; you are the only one in this room who cares about more than keeping everyone within this base alive. No matter how many times you might try to appeal to some sense of justice you believe I might still possess, you are not going to find the heroic rebel you seemed to have made me out to be within me, I can tell you that right now. If you want to continue to remain blind to the reality around you, do that—I am sure it must be nice for you—but don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that I can ever become the person you had expected me to be, for I cannot. All that matters to me is that I have to keep the people I care about alive; I am not willing to risk that safety for anyone, not even for the rest of the citizens of the Twilight Realm.”</p>
<p>“But you promised me to let me stay.” wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, the princess reached up to place her hand on top of Midna’s. “I heard people talk about how you were risking everything by letting me stay, that my father would search for me. And yet, you allowed me to stay here.”</p>
<p>She should have left when she had the chance. Midna realised that now. She should simply have continued through the door, leaving the princess and the rest of this conversation far behind her. But it would appear that all she could do lately was to make mistake after mistake, and this was just another one on a long list of all the times she should have thought things through. Now, she would simply have to handle the consequences.</p>
<p>Withdrawing her hand, making Zelda’s fall to rest at her side in the progress, Midna could almost feel how an impenetrable wall appeared in the air between them as she forced herself to focus on nothing other than making sure her voice was even, leaving no doubts about how it would not be wise to question her again. “I promised not to send you back to your father, because it was what it would take to make you tell me the truth about how you had been able to board my ship without anyone noticing it. I could not allow anyone to continue the attacks before we knew how you had been able to slip by unnoticed, and if getting the answers I needed required for me to promise to let you stay here, then that was something I was willing to do. Don’t make me regret making that promise.” backing away, Midna sent the plate sliding across the table, the princess’ meal barely stopping before it would have fallen to the ground with a clatter of metal and the sound of food hitting wood. “Enjoy your dinner.”</p>
<p>Her hand searched for the door handle, and the next second, Midna all but fell out of the room, feeling how her face became warmer as the embarrassment spread through her body. Why could she not just have ended the conversation the moment she realised that she was not going to make this princess see how her ideas for changing the world would only result in the death of everyone around her, why did it feel like she had to make her see that unless she wanted heartbreak after heartbreak, she had to stop trying to convince people to give their lives for a cause that was ultimately as hopeless as it was well-meaning?</p>
<p>Deep down, Midna already knew the answer to the question, but as she let her feet take her back to her cabin, deciding that not letting anyone see her while she was this upset was more important to her than dinner, she tried her best to force it back into the chest she had constructed for it inside her mind. But much like the moment she had opened the chest back in the ship, only to find the princess of Hyrule lying inside it, no matter how much Midna tried to repress it, it almost seemed that the chest was already filled to the brim, leaving no space for the memories.</p>
<p>She barely managed to keep back the tears until the moment she had closed the door to her cabin behind her and turned the key, but then, the second she knew that no one would see her, Midna lost all control. Sliding down to the floor, she pulled her knees up to her chin and let the tears stream down her face. Why had she been so unlucky that from among the thousands of ships that made their way through the sky above Hyrule each day, the one ship she and her crew had attacked had been the one that had contained the secret room where she had found the princess? Why had she not been able to stay quiet or to say something that would not have given the princess the idea that she should sneak onto her ship? Why had she not decided that with how it already seemed like almost everyone had given in to the lies Ganondorf served them, it did not matter if the princess returned to her guards to tell them the story of how the pirates’ leader had threatened her to get her to tell them the story of how she had managed to get onto their ship only to then leave her stranded in a remote part of the kingdom?</p>
<p>Midna could have yelled at herself for the promise she had made, how she had told Zelda that no matter what, she would not send her home, but the truth was that as she sat there, she knew that it would not have helped. She was the only one who had brought her in this situation, and now, Midna would simply have to try her best not to make it even worse. For despite how she knew that everything would be so much easier for her if she could ignore her conscience, she had given Zelda her word that she would not send her back home. Now she had to keep that promise, no matter how much it made her want to scream at her.</p>
<p>As she sat there, Midna could not have felt smaller. Although she knew that she was taller than everyone else around her, in that moment, it felt like she had become the scared child once more, waiting for the servants to return home to her, hiding under her bed each time she heard something outside, the sound of the wind rustling in the trees making her curl up on the floor. Maybe it was due to how she had pulled her knees in towards her chin, making herself as small as she possibly could to try to stay warm, but for just a moment, Midna could almost believe that she was back there again, hiding inside the ship until her stomach hurt so much that she had no other choice but to head out into the world, a little child who was completely alone.</p>
<p>And although she knew that she could head over to the dining hall to find another person, when Midna finally gave in and climbed up onto the bed, pulling her quilts up over her head to try to trap her body heat within the little cocoon, she felt the loneliness almost like a physical weight sitting on top of her, weighing her down until she struggled to breathe.</p>
<p>She was not sure how she was able to fall asleep, but somehow, it must have happened, Midna’s vision slowly growing darker as she felt the weight disappear from above her little by little.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although she could see the sun high up on the sky as she stepped out of her cabin the next morning, her entire body felt heavy and tired, the sensation being more like what had followed the nights when she had not been able to let her guard down for even a moment, having to be able to spring away from the danger the moment she would catch a glimpse of the familiar red hue of the soldier’s tunic, rather than how she had actually gone to bed only a little hour after the rest of the residents had headed over to the dining hall. But despite that, Midna fought against the little voice that was beginning to sound an awful lot like the princess as it told her to slow down, to make sure she was all right instead of forcing herself out of the bed, almost falling over as her vision exploded into thousands of little black dots while her mind tried its best not to lose its grip on her.</p>
<p>It was not until she had almost fallen off the side of the ship, barely managing to catch onto the rope ladder in time before she would have fallen through the air with nothing to stop her other than the stone floor several metres below her, that Midna felt ready to admit that perhaps the voice had been right. Still, even then, she refused to do more than to lean against the side of the Shadow for a moment, careful not to brush against the spot where she could still make out the outline of the crest of the royal family of the Twilight Realm for fear of making the paint fade even more.</p>
<p>With how she managed to make it all the way over to the dining hall without repeating her mistake from the day before and bursting into tears, instead letting her face remain completely blank as she tried her best not to lose control of the situation, Midna almost could make herself believe that she could get through this, that the time she had spent crying inside her cabin yesterday had just been the result of a minor slip, a second where she had not been able to keep up the façade. But, of course, the universe had to prove to her how even the simple act of hoping that she would be able to make it through the day apparently seemed to be something she had to learn not to do, for before she got the chance to head into the dining hall to grab a plate of food for herself and the princess, the doors were thrown open, Jaggle hurrying out.</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna almost thought that she would be able to move past him without him noticing her, but of course she was not that lucky. The next moment, Jaggle had reached out to grab her arm.</p>
<p>“I was actually just looking for you,” he said, his tone of voice making it clear how he was not willing to let the conversation wait for a moment where Midna was not trying he best to fight the urge to climb back onto her bed to avoid having to see anyone, “were you about to bring the princess her meal?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” the word came out more as a tired sigh than anything else. “I was about to bring Zelda her breakfast, so if you could please move to the side to let me go in to get it, then that would be nice.”</p>
<p>But Jaggle did not move. Instead, he took a step closer to her, effectively blocking her path. It seemed that he was just as aware of that as she was, for as he continued, he finally let go of her arm. “We cannot keep her here.”</p>
<p>“Why not?” Midna resisted the urge to roll her eyes, already knowing where the conversation was going. “It is not like she is going to bring any harm to us. In fact, she seems almost happy to stay in her room, so will you please explain to me what your reasoning for coming here, before I have even got the chance to eat anything, and tell me that Zelda, the person I made a promise to that I would not force her to leave, cannot stay with us is?”</p>
<p>“Midna, I am only telling you this because you have saved my life.” Jaggle shot a look at the corridor around them, letting his voice become a secretive whisper, clearly believing that it was not incredible obvious what he was about to say. “I am not trying to annoy you, but you have to realise that keeping her here will only increase the risk of the food in the larder not being enough to get us through the winter.”</p>
<p>“And how did you reach that conclusion? From what I remember, Uli seemed quite confident that there would be more than enough for her as well.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but that was before she was forced to admit that the lamb shank really was too bad to eat. Look, I know that you do not like hearing this, but this princess, no matter how sweet she may seem, she will be the difference between whether or not we will make it through the winter. The rest of us, we can help, we can find food in the forest or steal from the merchants, but if we are really planning to keep her here, the princess will not be able to do anything. And although I am sure that Uli is going maintain that there is more than enough food if you asked her right now, I have gone to count the crates myself. Let me tell you, Midna, we only barely have enough for ourselves. If we have to throw out anything, if the bread goes mouldy before we thought it would, we are not going to make it.” Jaggle went silent, but the look he sent her was that of someone who was so sure that he had just managed to convince her that he did not even consider whether he should prepare another argument in case the first was not enough.</p>
<p>It was with a bit more glee than what the situation had perhaps called for that Midna responded, but as she looked at Jaggle and saw how he had seemingly already decided that he had convinced her, it was difficult for her to feel bad about it. “Well, in that case, I suggest that you leave the task of worrying about food to Uli, seeing as it clearly brings you a great deal of pain to think about the fact that I am not about to send Zelda away.”</p>
<p>Immediately, the satisfied expression disappeared, Jaggle’s eyebrows instead settling into a frown. “You can’t be serious! Midna, we have to act now, you cannot actually mean that you are ready to risk the lives of everyone in this base just for the princess!” throwing his hands up in frustration, Jaggle took a step towards her. “Come on, I know that I owe you my life, and it is not that I don’t trust you, but you have to realise that she is a burden for the rest of us. If we keep her here, we are going to find ourselves stuck in a situation where she will be the only one still getting food.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps we will.” Midna leant to the side. If she sprinted, she might be able to make it into the dining hall before Jaggle realised what her plan was. As determined as he seemed to be to talk with her, she doubted he was interested in continuing the discussion inside the dining hall with everyone around them turning to look at him, the expressions on their faces sure to reveal how they would side with her in an instant. “Perhaps we will not. But no matter what happens, fact is that I promised her that I would not make her leave if she did not want to. Besides, we all agreed to let her stay during the meeting. You were there; if you were still not satisfied with the agreement, you should have said something back then.”</p>
<p>Midna tried to step around him, but she had hardly managed to take a single step before she heard how Jaggle spit out the words, anger present in every syllable. “Who gave you the right to make such promises, to decide for the rest of us whether we will have to starve for a princess again? I have spent most of my life doing that already. No matter how much I might owe you, I refuse to put myself in a situation where that will happen for a second time.”</p>
<p>But by now, Jaggle was not the only one who could feel his patience nearing its end, and as Midna twirled around, she could have sworn that, for a fraction of a second, the look on Jaggle’s face revealed how he knew that he had made a mistake. Even then, she did not care. He had interrupted her, keeping her from finishing the task. If she had been able to simply hurry past him, she would be sitting inside her cabin now, trying to figure out what the pattern the Hyrulean forces had apparently found within their attacks was, but now she was standing here, having to listen to complaints that should have been brought up during the meeting where she would have had Rusl to lead the conversation.</p>
<p>Standing up straight, Midna supressed a yawn before answering. “I did not make any promises for you. I simply told her what I had to say to get her to tell me what I needed to know. You should thank me for that, really, for had I not done that, I would not have found out the reasons for why there was no harness for you that day. So what about this: rather than trying to keep me from bringing her measly bowl of porridge, you let me walk though these doors without complaining, and stay out of my way so that I can try to work on making sure that the next time we are on a mission, our enemies will not be able to sneak past us and make it so that, had it not been for Rusl, you would be left behind when we fled? How does that plan sound?” she raised an eyebrow, so sure that this was it, that she would finally be able to make her way past him to go get the bowl for the princess, that when he answered, his reply felt like someone had punched her in the stomach.</p>
<p>For, rather than admitting defeat and stepping aside to let her pass through, Jaggle’s gaze became cold, the iciness of it only surpassed by his tone of voice. “Of course. If you say so, I will make sure that I will not have to burden you with my presence again, <em>princess</em>.” with that, he pushed past her, his shoulder knocking against her upper arm in the process.</p>
<p>Breathe, she had to continue to breathe. That was what Midna tried to tell herself, attempting to use the sound of the air flowing in and out of her mouth to remain grounded in the present. But it was all flying past her, the sound of her own heartbeat seeming impossibly loud in her ears as her breathing became frantic, the air around her feeling like it was choking her, and before she had even realised that she had moved, Midna found herself leaning against the wall, clutching her head as she tried her best to force the panic to recede. But the more she fought, the more the feeling of helplessness washed over her, reducing her to tears as she sat there, both all too aware of how almost everyone else was only a few metres away, a set of double doors being all that kept them from witnessing the sight of her trying not to cry in the hallway, failing horribly, and feeling like it was all too far away for her to truly understand that she would have to move soon if she did not want to be seen. In the end, it was the latter sensation that won, so although she knew that, by now, she would normally have brought the princess her breakfast a long time ago, Midna remained where she was.</p>
<p>She was not sure how long she sat there before someone found her. All she knew was that the next thing her brain saw fit to inform her of was the familiar sound of someone gasping, followed by footsteps running over to her.</p>
<p>Link. She knew that without looking up, recognising the way he moved towards her, not hesitating for even a moment.</p>
<p>A moment passed before he had pulled her into an embrace, and with how she had not been able to remain upright, instead sliding halfway down the wall, it was soon followed by him whispering something to her as he crouched down to sit next to her. But no matter how hard she fought to focus on what he was saying, trying her best to focus on nothing other than the fact that he was still there and had not left her behind yet, the sounds all bled together, forming a wall of noise rather than words with meaning.</p>
<p>He must have guessed from her blank stare and the way she still struggled to breathe that he was not exactly helping, for the next moment, Midna saw how he placed a hand on both of her shoulders before leaning closer towards her, speaking so clearly that she would most likely have been able to guess what he was saying simply by looking at his mouth. However, it was not needed, for despite the world around her still seeming like it was obscured by a cloud, the sounds were slowly beginning to reach her again.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?” Link asked, but he did not wait for her answer, instead letting the end of the first question almost turn into the beginning of the next. “What happened?”</p>
<p>As she found herself trying to put it into words, try to think of something to tell him, Midna could not help but feel ridiculous. Here she was after having snapped at Link only two days earlier, and yet, he had come to help her the moment he had found her crying on the ground.</p>
<p>Forcing a smile onto her face, she shook her head. “I… it is nothing, really. I just… I overreacted.” overreaction, it was the perfect excuse, vague enough to not give away how she had not even been able to handle Jaggle questioning the decision to let the princess stay with them even though it was all he seemed to have done ever since Rusl had first declared that the meeting was over while still being something Midna doubted would make anyone look at her with a doubtful look in their eyes, at least not anyone who knew her. “Really, I am all right.” wiping a the back of her hand over her face to attempt to dry away the tears, Midna felt how the next sentences almost tripped over each other, all trying to make their way out of her mouth at the same time. “But, Link… I am so sorry, about… everything I said. I should not have said any of that to you; if you and Ilia want to leave, then I understand that.” although Midna would have sworn only moments before that she did not have any tears left, it seemed that she had been mistaken, as she saw her vision become blurry again. At least Link did not push her away as she leant into the embrace, at once seized by the fear that he would leave if she did not hold onto him.</p>
<p>But Link didn’t leave. Instead, he tried his best to reach up to pat her head, mumbling calming words into her ear. “Please don’t apologise, Midna,” he whispered, “I am not going anywhere. I never was.”</p>
<p>That made her blink through the tears. As she looked at him and saw how, even with her tears still obscuring her vision, the smile Link sent her was still wide enough for her not to miss it, Midna was almost able to slow down her breathing to a point where the air was able to reach her lungs, supplying her with enough oxygen for her mind to clear a little. “You are not?”</p>
<p>“No, goddesses, no!” Link laughed, but Midna could hear how it was forced. “Ilia and I have never had any plans that would involve us leaving this base. And why should we?” he pulled her a bit closer. “You have made it quite clear that you are going to stay here, and without you, I doubt that we would even last a day.”</p>
<p>“But the ship…” Midna could hear what she must sound like to Link as she tried her best to remind him of all the reasons he had for wanting to leave, “Epona, I thought that you and Ilia…?”</p>
<p>“You thought that we would fly away into the sunset together?” Link seemed to wait for her to laugh at the idea, but as Midna stayed quiet, he let out a sigh. “Midna, we are not going to leave right now. I can’t promise you that we will stay here for the rest of our lives, but for now, it is enough for us to watch the crimson glow of the sunset from the top of the mountain. We are not going to leave you. Where would we be without having you with us to make sure that we would not make a mistake?” he must have seen how he finally got a tiny smile as a response, for as Link continued, Midna could hear how his voice grew warmer. “Exactly, we would most likely be caught within days. Now, do you want to tell me what happened that would create a situation where I would find you outside the dining hall, looking like you were about to pass out?”</p>
<p>Slowly, Midna began to explain what had happened, doing her best to distance herself from the words as she reached the point that had finally made it all become too much for her. If she tried to picture Zelda, tried to lie to herself and pretend that Jaggle had uttered the dreaded word to describe her rather than Midna herself, she could almost trick her body into thinking the same.</p>
<p>But even though she could fool herself, it was obvious from the way Link’s expression grew darker as she reached that point, the crease between his brows becoming deeper and deeper with every second, that he was not interested in pretending that it had really been the case. “That…” Link grimaced, the look on his face revealing how he tried his best to find a word to describe Jaggle, only to fail, “do you want me to go talk to him? Let him know that he left you crying in the corridor.”</p>
<p>“No!” Midna barely realised that she had yelled until she saw the look of surprise on Link’s face. Making sure to lower her voice to not make everyone inside the dining hall head outside to see what was going on, she shook her head. “No, it was nothing; he didn’t mean to say it like that. Can we just… let it go and pretend that it never happened?”</p>
<p>“Of course we can. If that is what you want to, that is.”</p>
<p>“It is.” but even as the words left her mouth, Midna could feel how it was not the case, not really. To tell the truth, what she wanted to do was to be able to go back to the point just before she had turned around the corner to instead walk the long way to the kitchen. If she had just done that, then she would have already brought the princess her breakfast by now.</p>
<p>Midna could have sworn that she felt her heart skip a beat as she realised that she had yet to grab the bowl of porridge. Who knew how long she had sat there, trying her best not to faint? With how hungry she had been the moment before her stomach had become a knot of painful memories, she could easily imagine what the princess must feel like, especially considering how Midna doubted that hunger was a familiar sensation for people like her.</p>
<p>Running her fingers through her hair, Midna looked at Link, knowing that the way the panic spread across his face was his way of mirroring how she surely looked even worse herself. “I forgot to bring Zelda her breakfast,” she whispered, “I was supposed to bring it to her when Jaggle stopped me, but with how I began to panic, I forgot about it. How much time do you think has passed?” Midna interrupted him before he got the chance to answer. “Never mind, I know that the porridge has already become cold. How could I forget about it?” she reached up towards her hair, but before she would have got the chance to pull at a strand, Link had reached out to take her hand, effectively stopping her from doing exactly that.</p>
<p>“Hey, I am sure it will be fine,” he said, “I was just about to head over to grab my own breakfast when I found you—I am sure that Zelda will survive. Besides, I don’t think you are really in a state to bring any princesses their breakfast right now, so what about this: I will go ask Uli to do it for you—no,” Link brought her attempt at cutting in to a halt with a quick wave, “please let me finish. I will go ask Uli to bring Zelda her breakfast. You know that she won’t mind, not when it is you. Then we can go and see if Ilia has discovered some new genius way to construct the engine of Epona and if it is enough to make her so excited that she will forget about how the rest of us mere mortals do not understand even half of what she says when she is rambling about that ship.”</p>
<p>The mental image of the last time Ilia had tried to explain to her what the difference between two different drawings that looked completely identical to each other when she looked at them was did bring a smile to Midna’s face. “You know that she is absolutely going to do that.”</p>
<p>Raising an eyebrow, Link held his hand out towards her. “Well, do you want to go with me then? I am sure that with the two of us there, we will have a better chance of figuring out what half of what she says means.”</p>
<p>“You really think we can decipher half of it?” Midna chuckled. “You sure are confident!”</p>
<p>“Yes, maybe it was a bit too optimistic, but I mean, we can at least make an attempt. Just wait a second, I have to go ask Uli to bring Zelda her breakfast and grab a bowl of porridge for myself as well.” Link had halfway risen to reach out for the door handle when he spun around and looked back over at her. “Wait, you haven’t had breakfast either, have you?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Well, then I will make sure to take care of that as well. Wait here—I will be back in just a moment!”</p>
<p>As she leant back against the wall again and watched as Link disappeared into the dining hall, the only sign that was left of how she had been standing there, trying her best not to completely lose all control, only a few minutes before was the feeling of how the tears had left a thin layer of salt on her cheeks and how her heartrate was still a bit faster than normal. And by the time Link returned, talking so much that when they had reached the end of the hallway, Midna had already seen what he was trying to do, how he filled the silence so that she would not get a chance to dwell on what Jaggle had said anymore, it soon returned to normal as well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like the last couple of chapters have just been Midna gradually losing control of the situation, but it just continues to escalate.</p>
<p>Anyway, I hope that everyone is doing well right now and that they are taking care of themselves :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was not an apology. That was what Midna told herself as she stood in front of the door leading into the princess’ room. The pile of clothing in her arms was simply a way to make sure that she would have something a little less stifling to wear during her stay with them, nothing else. The fact that the fabric of Midna’s best waistcoat, the only one that was not held together by nonmatching pieces of fabric was visible as it lay at the very top of the pile, above the coat, trousers, and blouses, was an issue completely unrelated to the fact that she could still hear how her tone of voice had been sharp enough to cut through the stone around them the last time she had seen the princess.</p>
<p>Mumbling the words she had practiced during the last few minutes to herself one last time, Midna reached out for the keys. It was better to just get it over with. Much like when she stood on the handrail of her ship, waiting for the moment where the brigantine would be in the perfect position for the eminent attack, waiting would only make her even more nervous, and with how her heart was already beating against her ribs with a nervous energy she could not quite recognise, it seemed to be the last thing she needed. So, trying to focus on nothing but the click of the key turning, Midna opened the door and stepped into the room.</p>
<p>Her arrival made the princess turn her head towards the sound. For a moment, Zelda almost seemed like she could not believe that she was there, her eyebrows pulled together, forming a little crease, but then she pushed herself off her bed and stepped over towards her, a wary smile already tucking at her lips. “Is it already time for dinner?” she asked, her eyes having already found the answer in how the only things in Midna’s arms were the carefully folded articles of clothing.</p>
<p>“No.” Midna could hear how she let the word trail off, making it sound too much like a question for her to be entirely comfortable. Clearing her throat, she tried to remind herself of the fact that, whether Zelda liked it or not, she was doing her a favour by bringing her something else to wear. Even though the only light that was able to reach the room was the last rays of the sun coming in through the gates of the hangar, it was still apparent how Zelda’s dress was no longer the pristine gown it had been back when she had first found her, the colour seeming a little duller, something Midna knew was not only due to the lack of light. “I just thought that you might like to change into something a little cleaner than that dress,” she mumbled as she threw the pile over towards her, the princess only barely having time to catch it. Turning her head away, trying her best to look at anything other than the confused look in her eyes as she looked down at the clothes, Midna continued, “we do not exactly have the resources to take care of your dress, so if you could wear something that can be cleaned in the river, it would make both of your lives that much easier. Of course, I know that this might not exactly be the kind of quality you are used to, Princess, but I figured that, if nothing else, you would at least have the chance to change into something else when your dress there begins to itch too much for you to continue to wear it.” with a shrug that she already knew looked too rehearsed, not at all the careless gesture she had wanted it to be, Midna turned around and began to head over towards the door.</p>
<p>She had not even got a single step closer when Zelda seemed to regain the ability to speak.</p>
<p>“Wait!” she called out, making Midna spin around to look at her. The look she sent her must have been enough for her to realise how it had sounded almost like an order, for it seemed that the princess at least had the decency to pretend to be sorry, holding the clothes close to her as she avoided meeting her gaze. “It is just… thank you. For everything, I mean. Thank you for letting me stay rather than sending me back home the moment you found me aboard your ship.”</p>
<p>Lips curling up into a smile that already felt fake long before she had even got the chance to say anything, Midna shook her head at her. “Well, it is not like you gave me the chance to send you back, not with how you were able to hide for long enough to make it so that trying to send you back would at the very least give away the general direction of our base despite how your choice of hiding place left much to be desired. As for the clothes, don’t thank me. It was Ilia who brought up the fact that we would have to supply you with something to change into if we did not want for the stench of a dirty dress to fill the entirety of our base, much like how it was her who decided to give you some of her old things.” she was not sure where the lie had come from, why it felt so much easier to claim that the waistcoat and the trousers that would surely have made Ilia look like she was drowning in fabric if she had put them on considering how Midna was at least a head taller than her did not belong to her instead of accepting the compliment, but right then, Midna was not exactly in the mood to begin to question it, trying to focus on anything other than the matter of whether or not clothes would even fit the princess. After all, if she were to fall over due to the trouser legs being too long for her, it was not Midna’s fault, nor was it her problem, so with a flippant gesture, she huffed, hoping that it would be enough to show how little she cared. “Feel free to continue wearing your dress if you prefer that. I don’t really care what you do, but now you will at least have the option to change into something else.”</p>
<p>“No, I—” Zelda interrupted herself, seemingly biting back the last half of the sentence. Midna tried to tell herself that she did not care, that she did not have to bite her lip to make sure she did not ask her what she had been about to say, keeping herself quiet as the princess smiled at her, the expression making her look entirely out of place against the backdrop of the dusty room, “this is perfect. Will you tell Ilia that I am grateful for this? I know that she did not have to do this and that she must not have had that much to begin with, so I really am thankful for how she thought of me.”</p>
<p>Midna could hear her voice grow sharper as she took a step forward, her shoulders already rising up slightly. “Don’t assume that we are doing this for you or try to fool yourself into thinking that this,” a nod towards the clothes brought them both back to the issue in front of them, “was some great sacrifice for her. We are not suffering; we have everything we could ever want. Did you never listen when your father would tell you about how we attack merchants, or are you simply unable to remember anything? If we need clothes, we steal it. Ilia is not going to miss any of this.”</p>
<p>For a split second, Midna thought that Zelda was going to argue with her, would try to tell her what Midna already knew, that, even with all of their attacks, they had never stolen any clothes other than what they truly needed, but at the last moment, Zelda nodded, looking away from Midna and her silent challenge for her to try to disagree with her again.</p>
<p>“Of course,” the princess mumbled, “I am sorry, I didn’t think about it. I know that you have more than enough already, but still… thank you for bringing me this—will you tell Ilia that? Will you tell her what I said, that I am grateful?”</p>
<p>She opened her mouth, only to find that she could not force out the words. Coughing under her breath and hoping that Zelda had not noticed it, Midna shrugged. “I will make sure that she hears about it, but just to make sure that you understand this, I can tell you right now that she is not going to care about your gratitude. We are pirates, we are against the monarchy—I can promise you that no one here cares about what some princess thinks. You are not at court anymore. Here, people do not exist solely to try to please you, hoping that gaining your favour will be all it takes to climb to the top.”</p>
<p>The wry smile Zelda sent her took her by surprise, but at the last moment, Midna was able to put on a blank expression, just in time for Zelda to let out a soft chuckle. “I think I have already learnt that. This might be the first time I have ever tried to talk with someone who did not seem like she would be willing to betray everyone around her if she thought that it would be what it would take to make me put in a good word for her the next time my father would summon me. It is freeing, really, to know that I don’t have to question everything you do, trying to figure out what you think about me.”</p>
<p>Was that really what she thought? Studying Zelda’s face, trying to look for a sign that she was lying, Midna was forced to admit that it seemed to really be the case. Immediately, the time she had spent inside her cabin, trying to fold the clothes, making sure that she would be able to give them to the princess with an air of not caring at all, felt like a waste of time. All this time, all the visits, and she had found the fact that Midna did not attempt to hide the fact that she did not like her or anything she represented a nice change.</p>
<p>As much as she tried not to let the princess’ words get to her, Midna could not help but wonder just what life inside the castle had been like. Although it was easy for her to brush aside the comment as yet another piece of evidence that the princess really was not fit for the life they lead inside the base, just another sign that she struggled to understand how the monarchy had never been established to protect the people, there had been something in her eyes that stopped Midna from letting the harsh reply bring an end to the silence between them.</p>
<p>Finally, just as Midna found herself with no other choice but to reach up to run her fingers through her hair, hoping that it would be enough to hide her reaction to Zelda’s words, the princess moved away from her. Sitting down on the bed, placing the pile next to her on the mattress, she almost looked more at home in the tiny room than Midna had ever been able to pretend to be, even with all the years she had spent living in the lonely realm that was the ship.</p>
<p>“Well, no matter what,” the princess closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head, “will you tell Ilia that? That I appreciate her thinking about me, I mean?”</p>
<p>Midna found herself answering without thinking about the words. “I don’t think there is any need for me to tell her. I am certain she already knows about it.” immediately, she could have hit herself. Why could she not just think about what she was saying, keeping herself from embarrassing herself at every chance? But of course, letting it show how she would gladly have grabbed her words out of the air had it only been possible for her to take them back, make them unsaid, would only make it all worse, perhaps even making it so that Zelda would be able to guess the true origin of the waistcoat she had lifted from the pile, holding it up in the air to inspect it, so Midna only tightened her grip around the bunch of keys, hoping that Zelda would not notice her knuckles turning white. “Is there anything missing?”</p>
<p>“No.” perhaps realising that inspecting the clothes she had just been given had not been the smartest thing to do, Zelda placed the waistcoat back down next to her on the bed, an embarrassed look passing over her face. “It is perfect. Thank you.”</p>
<p>Already, Midna could tell that she was lying. She did not even have to look at the way Zelda was not able to hide the quick look she sent the clothes to know that. The fact that she was taller than her was enough to let her know that the clothes, although surely preferable to being forced to stay in the same dirty dress, would be much too large for her. But now she had at least asked, so no one could blame her for that.</p>
<p>Taking a step backwards, Midna found herself back in the hallway, and although it did not stop her from being able to look at Zelda, to see how the faint crease between her brows had returned, simply knowing that she was no longer in the room was enough to let her heartrate slow down a little.</p>
<p>“Are you not going to lock the door?”</p>
<p>It was not until Zelda gestured towards the keys in her hand that Midna realised how she had been about to walk away, leaving the door open behind her.</p>
<p>“I—” she reached out towards the door handle, reminding herself that it was better this way, she could close the door behind her and leave the conversation and the thankyous behind. However, for some reason, Midna found that she could not bring herself to close her hand around the cold metal, instead standing there, frozen for a moment, before turning around to face the princess again, “actually, with how you seem almost more scared of us sending you home than anything else, we decided that it would be a waste of our time to keep you here. I have other things to do than bringing you your meals, so from this moment on, you can get them yourself.”</p>
<p>“Wait, are you telling me that—”</p>
<p>“You are free to go wherever you may please as long as you do not leave this base and do not keep anyone from completing their missions.” the words came to her almost without her having to think about it. “I can trust you enough to let you do that, can’t I?”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course. But, it’s just,” Zelda tilted her head to the side, “why?”</p>
<p>Midna lifted an eyebrow, trying her best to push back the feeling that she had made a mistake. It was too late for her to turn back now, to say that she had not meant it and slam the door after her. “Why what?”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why you have suddenly decided to let me leave this room. Don’t get me wrong, I am not ungrateful, but it just seems like it is a big risk for you to let me walk around inside your base.”</p>
<p>She was not wrong. Already, Midna could hear the excuses she would have to make to explain her decision, how even Rusl would most likely try to question the choice she had made. Once again, the sneaking suspicion that her impulsive decision was going to lead to her having to attend yet another meeting, this time to give everyone a chance to send her looks that would so clearly state how their past was the only thing keeping them from outright telling her that they did not support the idea of Zelda being able to leave the room and finding out even more about them and the location of the fortress, made itself heard above all other thoughts, loud and demanding to be heard.</p>
<p>But, forcing herself to let that issue rest for a moment, Midna lifted the bunch of keys, letting them rattle in front of her face to make sure they caught the princess’ attention. “If you would prefer to stay in here, I can also lock the door after me; that will really not be an issue,” she said, “I just thought that you, with your need for freedom, would appreciate it.”</p>
<p>“I do!” Zelda almost tripped over the word, pushing herself off the bed. As the mattress dipped for a moment, Midna saw how the clothes came dangerously close to falling to the floor, but by then, Zelda was standing up, the waistcoat barely remaining on the bed. While Midna was not sure she had been able to conceal the little jerky motion of her hand instantly reaching out to stop the fabric from hitting the floor, at least Zelda did not look back at it, instead keeping her hands at her sides, clenching her fists as she added. “I was just a bit… surprised. That is all.”</p>
<p>“Well, in that case, may I suggest that you do not immediately head out to explore the entire base? With the sheer size of this complex, I think it would only lead to you getting overwhelmed and lost, and let me tell you right now that I do not want to have to come to rescue you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that will be an issue. I am used to navigating Hyrule Castle, you know.”</p>
<p>Staring at her, Midna tried her best to gauge whether or not she had meant it as an insult, the little reminder that, no matter how nonthreatening she could act, no matter how good she was at pretending to be willing to remain where she was if that was the order she was given, Zelda was still the princess of Hyrule. In the end, she found that Zelda’s eyes did not reveal the answer, so, sticking out her chin, Midna shoved the keys back into her pocket. “Good for you, for you are going to need it.”</p>
<p>She was not sure if she was disappointed that, despite how she now had the opportunity to do so, Zelda did not follow her as she went back up the stairs to stand on the deck. The more Midna tried not to think about it, the more the question refused to leave her, continuing to interrupt her thoughts, reminding her of its presence.</p>
<p>It had been a mistake to not lock the door, she knew that, but much like she had been the one to bring herself into a situation where she had to bring the princess her meals, Midna was forced to admit that it was her fault, something she would not have to get used to.</p>
<p>As she let out a sigh, she was not even able to find comfort in the way she had at least been able to storm away from the princess.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Having told Zelda to take care of her meals herself had the effect that Midna no longer had any reason for finding herself passing by her room those three times a day. And yet, she continued to do so, almost like she was not fully in charge of where her feet took her. The first time it had happened, when she had been busy thinking about whether it would be wasteful to head over to the larder to find a bit of honey for the sore throat she had been nursing for the last couple of days, only to find herself frozen halfway through the motion of reaching out to open the door to the princess’ room, she had been somewhat able to convince herself that it was just the effect of having spent those last few days being the one to bring her her food, but as it continued, Midna realised that she would have to do more if she wanted to take her mind off the question of just what the princess was doing all day.</p>
<p>The first time in weeks Midna brushed the bedsheet to the side to walk over to Epona, she had to pause for a moment to simply take in the sheer size of the sails as she looked at them, almost making it so that she did not pay attention to the fact that they were really just a combination of old bedsheets and the sturdiest fabrics they had been able to take during their missions, now bundled up, lying on the deck of the ship, everything about it making it look like Midna would have been able to get it into the air in a matter of hours. But she had not come here to marvel at the fact that, even now, with their limited resources, Ilia still seemed to be able to build a ship that might be able to fly, so, swallowing the impressed sound that had otherwise been about to disturb the sound of metal clattering, Midna continued around the hull.</p>
<p>Just as she had expected, Ilia was sitting in her usual spot, leaning in over what looked like a complicated drawing detailing the exact mechanic of the steam engine she was trying to assemble. That, Midna had grown used to over the years. What caused her to take a step backwards, having to spend a moment simply trying to figure out whether or not she would be able to turn around and sprint away before any of them would look up and spot her, was the fact that Zelda was sitting right next to her, handing the metal pipe to Ilia as she mumbled something to her, Ilia responding by sending giving her a low chuckle before turning her attention back towards the task in front of her.</p>
<p>But although Midna tried her best to back away without making any noise, she must not have been able to stay as quiet as she had hoped to be, for the next moment, Ilia had looked up from her work, a smile already on her face as she saw her.</p>
<p>“Midna!” pushing herself off the ground, a spring to her step that Midna could not remember having seen for weeks, Ilia went over to take her hand, stopping her from turning around and running away. “I was actually just thinking about going to look for you to get a chance to talk with you.”</p>
<p>Leaning to the side slightly, Midna could see how Zelda shot the back of Ilia’s head a confused look. Clearly, that had been a lie. She had not been about to go look for her. Not that she could blame Ilia. With how Midna had left the infirmary after her conversation with Link, it would not surprise her if he had told Ilia everything the moment she had woken up. Truly, the question now was whether he had also told Ilia about their conversation in the corridor, or if Midna would have to prepare herself for Ilia trying to explain to her how she was not planning to leave her, trying her best to pretend that it would not have been completely understandable, natural even, for her to want to leave the base. After all, Midna was not blind to the fact that, no matter what she did, it seemed that the people around her had a habit of deciding that they had some kind of obligation towards Hyrule, believing themselves capable of succeeding despite the way everyone who had tried to attack the king before them had failed. The fact that Zelda was sitting here with her, the two of them seemingly able to work together in a way Midna would never be able to imitate, only served to prove how, even if Link might have been able to convince Ilia to stay for a little longer, before long, she would leave, either to try to live in one of the nearby villages or—and despite how Midna hoped that it would not be the case, she knew that it was the most plausible of them—to lead an attack on the king. With how it looked like the princess did not feel out of place sitting there, Midna would be willing to bet that this was where she had gone for the last week, giving her plenty of time to try to make everyone else believe in her naïve ideas of how the world should be, hoping to steal what little family Midna had been able to find for herself away from her.</p>
<p>But as Ilia pulled her into a hug, Midna could not find the strength to begin the discussion that would no doubt follow is she were to tell Zelda that she would not tolerate her warm smiles and naïve idealism for another second, instead trying to focus on the fact that, right now, Ilia was still safe within the base. It was inevitable that she would leave after all, so what was the point in trying to convince her to stay?</p>
<p>“I see that you are making progress on Epona,” Midna commented as Ilia let go of her, stepping back just enough to keep her from having to lean back to look up at her, “and here I thought that it was going to be at least another year before we would be able to get her up above the clouds. Do you think we should plan for the maiden voyage to take place tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“You might be giving me a bit too much credit here,” Ilia laughed, “I have only just begun to work on the engine itself. Come, look.” crouching down next to the scattered pieces of paper again, Ilia tapped at a spot on the drawing, “I have only just begun to figure out how to keep it in the air. Right now, I think I have all the parts I will need, but there is still the slight issue of making sure that it will not fall right out of the sky the moment the alternating patterns of warm steam and cold water begins to effect the metal.”</p>
<p>“Yes, if you can make sure we will not die while aboard the ship, then I think everyone here would be grateful.” as she spoke, Midna did not miss how Ilia made space for her to sit down between herself and the princess. Making sure that both of them noticed how she sat down on the opposite side of Ilia should have felt nice, a way to show Zelda that although she might have the patience to listen to Ilia’s talk about the ship, it did not mean that she was one of them, but as she saw how Ilia and Zelda exchanged a quick series of looks, the silent conversation seemingly coming to an end as Zelda shook her head, the gesture barely noticeable, Midna only felt strangely hollow inside.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I will try my best,” Ilia said, and although the laughter that followed had clearly been intended to make the mood lighter, it had the opposite effect, making Midna even more aware of how Ilia did not move to return to her work, instead continuing, “there is just the little issue of how I don’t exactly have the opportunity of testing any of this while I build the ship, so we will just have to hope for the best. Or, well, I do have Zelda to help me, so at least we are two to catch any mistakes I might make now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” despite how Midna knew that Ilia had meant it as a way to assure her that everything was fine, that the princess really was there to help, it only made the annoyance flare up again. Here she was, having gone to look for Ilia, willing to apologise for her anger if that was what it would take for her not to leave, and then Zelda was already sitting here next to her, busy trying to get close to Midna’s friend, making her believe her foolish ideas of how they would be able to stand a chance against Ganondorf’s army simply by being convinced that they were right, that they had some mythical sense of justice on their side. “Tell me, what exactly can some sheltered princess help you with, Ilia?” the question might have been directed towards Ilia, but as she stared over at Zelda, Midna knew that she had not left any doubts about whom it really had been meant for.</p>
<p>Clearing her throat, Zelda mumbled a reply, appearing to be doing her best to look anywhere other than at Midna’s face as she spoke. “I might not know much about the process of constructing the engine itself, but I can help Ilia with the physics and calculations behind it.” she pointed towards something to her right, and as Midna followed the line her finger drew, she could see how the piece of paper the princess pushed towards her the next moment was almost completely covered in neat rows and columns of numbers and letters.</p>
<p>“Zelda actually caught a mistake that I had not been able to spot myself,” Ilia interjected, and had it not been for how she was too busy trying to make sense of all of the equations that decorated the paper, bleeding together to form one large mass of undecipherable text, Midna was sure she would have felt more hurt at the betrayal that Ilia siding with Zelda rather than her was, but for now, trying to work out how the numbers were somehow supposed to allow the ship to support them was enough work for her to not have any room left for worrying about how the time she had spent here would no doubt have provided Zelda with plenty of opportunities to convince Ilia to abandon the goal of trying to stay alive that had united everyone for so long to instead risk her life for an impossible dream, allowing Ilia to continue without interruptions, “I had not realised that I had forgot to take the weight of the engine itself into account.”</p>
<p>“I see.” Midna looked up from the numbers. “And just how did the princess here suddenly become the expert on the art of naval construction?”</p>
<p>“You know, I did not just spend my days strolling through meadows and singing with the birds around me.” the unexpected edge to Zelda’s words was enough to momentarily render Midna speechless, bringing an end to anything she might have said in an attempt at interrupting her. “Knowing how the ship you are on works can be the difference between life and death, should an emergency arise, so Ashei made sure that I knew the basics. Other than that, it is just a question of applying my knowledge about the world around us to it, splitting it up into a series of simpler questions that you can find the answer to with a bit of work. Seeing as you seem to have grown up aboard your ship, you should be aware of that as well.”</p>
<p>Ilia must have sensed how the temperature around them dropped a couple of degrees, the barely hidden insult making Midna take a step closer to the princess, for she was quick to interrupt them, clapping once to get their attention. “Well, no matter what, Midna I never actually got to talk with you about… well…” she nodded towards the ship in front of her, and at once, Midna had already guessed how the sentence would end, “about what you and Link discussed back in the infirmary.”</p>
<p>Sending Zelda a dirty look and hoping that it was enough to let the princess know that she was aware of how it was no doubt her presence that had made Ilia decide to bring up the issue again, Midna turned back towards Ilia. “It is all right; I know that life here is not exactly exciting.” seeing how Ilia opened her mouth, no doubt to try to tell her that that was not the case, Midna held up her hand. “Really, I do. You don’t have to explain it to me, just please promise me that you will at least say goodbye before you and Link leave, will you?”</p>
<p>But to her surprise, Ilia laughed as she shook her head. “I am not going anywhere, not right now at least.” putting on a grave face, Ilia took her hands. “I meant what I said when I first began to plan the construction of Epona—this ship is not meant as a way for me to abandon you and the rest of this base. If it was, I would have been honest about it. And since you mentioned Link, let me just tell you that he almost managed to be even more worried than you are right now that I was going to leave, so there is no reason for you to worry about that either.”</p>
<p>“I know that Link isn’t going to leave; he already told me.” as much as she tried to sound annoyed, Midna was not able to keep the relief from seeping into her voice, into her body. “But I thought that, you know, considering how you did not seem to mind me avoiding you and how the two of you,” she gestured towards Zelda, “seem to have spent quite a lot of time discussing this ship, that you would leave in the end no matter what.”</p>
<p>“Wait,” Ilia glanced back and forth between Midna and the princess, looking more and more confused with each passing second, “you thought that she was trying to convince me to leave, that that was why she was sitting here?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I mean, what other reasons would she have for trying to help you with the ship? She will need a way to fool herself into thinking that we have the option of leaving the base without it being something we have to have planned for days in advance if she wants to continue pretending that we are some kind of secret rebel base, founded with the goal of fighting injustice.”</p>
<p>The sound that left Zelda sounded more like she had just accused her of something terrible rather than merely voicing her opinion on the logical conclusion she had reached after considering all the time she had spent listening to Zelda’s ideas about how they should overthrow the king. “I wasn’t trying to convince her to leave.”</p>
<p>“Sure, just like you were not trying to tell me how we should give our lives for some miniscule chance that we might be able to regain control over the Twilight Realm.” Midna rolled her eyes. “I know that you think you are doing what is right, but it will only lead to the deaths of everyone involved.”</p>
<p>“No,” Zelda said, and with how she hurried over towards her, having to pull the trouser legs up a bit to avoid tripping over the excess fabric, Midna might almost have believed that she cared about convincing her how that was not what had happened, that she had not spent the past week here, trying to tell Ilia the exact same things she had said to her every time she had got the chance, “I really wasn’t.” grabbing her hands, Zelda leant in towards her, and somehow, the combination seemed to be what it took to momentarily make Midna lose the ability to speak, for she was able to continue. “I know that you don’t like me and that you don’t trust me, but I am not trying to convince anyone to leave, not when you have made it clear that you do not want me to.”</p>
<p>Swallowing, Midna resisted the urge to look away. “I never told you not to do that. At least not directly.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps you didn’t, but it wasn’t exactly needed for you to tell me that you would not appreciate me walking around here and trying to make the people around you leave.” Zelda sent her a tiny grin, though it disappeared moments later as Midna did not return the gesture. “I—I can see that you are scared that they will leave, so I would never try to convince them to do so. I swear that I would never do that to you.”</p>
<p>Midna withdrew her hands like Zelda’s touch had burnt her skin. “Make sure it stays that way,” she hissed, before turning to look at Ilia, “and tell me if you need anything. It really is not a bother.”</p>
<p>She did not catch the answer to her outburst if there had even been, having already turned around to hurry away. The improvised wall the bedsheet played the role of helped a bit, making her feel like she was putting more distance between herself and the ship than what she knew to be the case, but for some reason, although she knew that if she were to turn around, she would see that she had not moved to follow her, Midna could not shake the feeling that Zelda, Zelda and all her claims that she understood her, was still with her as she returned to her cabin.</p>
<p>Her hands shook, making Midna struggle with locking the door behind her, but at last, she was able to climb onto her bed and hide beneath the quilts. It was easier that way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Midna, I was actually just looking for you.”</p>
<p>Only the fact that she could recognise Rusl’s voice kept Midna from simply continuing walking towards the dining hall.</p>
<p>Turning around, she had already painted a smile onto her face, and with how the first thing she noticed about Rusl was the fact that he was failing to hide his worry, it seemed to have been a wise decision. “Well,” she said, making sure that the hint of a chuckle was clear in her voice, “you have found me. Did you want to talk with me about something?”</p>
<p>At least Rusl was quick to admit the real reason for stopping her in the middle of the corridor, giving her a quick nod. “Yes. I was just wondering if it is true that you were the one to grant the princess permission to leave her room. I have heard quite a few conflicting stories, but with how the princess seems to have taken a liking to working on Epona, I fear that Ilia would yell at me if I interrupted them to ask her.”</p>
<p>Lifting an eyebrow, Midna tried to decide how much truth there was to his explanation. Had it been anyone but Rusl, the only response the question would have earned would have been a shrug, but as she looked at him, Midna already knew that he deserved more than that, the truth coming to fill the air between almost without her being aware of how she was talking. “Yes, I was the one to make that decision and I will accept the responsibility for it. But that was not the reason you wanted to talk to me now, was it?”</p>
<p>“It is impossible to keep secrets from you.” Rusl laughed, though he soon shook his head, letting his voice drop to a whisper. Already before he turned to look at the hallway around them, Midna knew that he did not want for anyone to overhear their conversation as he continued. “What do you think about her? For her to walk around the base, it is quite the risk, as I am sure that Jaggle has already informed you of, so I am sure that you must have had your reasons for making that decision.”</p>
<p>Midna closed her eyes, trying her best to remind herself that, despite how it sounded a little too much like a thinly veiled attempt at telling her that she was making a mistake, that he was doubting the decision, Rusl would have told her that directly if it was really what he thought. “I don’t trust her at all,” she finally said, “she is naïve and unable to understand the world around her.”</p>
<p>“She is young. I remember when I was her age; I also thought that I was going to change the world for the better.”</p>
<p>“We are the same age, and you don’t see me trying to tell the Hyrulean soldiers that they are wrong, fully believing that I am going to change their mind that way.” Midna took a deep breath, trying her best to remind herself that she was talking with Rusl, not Jaggle, Zelda, or even Link and Ilia. Rusl. “I am sorry, but it is just… either she really is blind to the world around her or there is something she is not telling me. And I don’t know what would be worse.” she looked at Rusl, halfway expecting him to agree with her. After all, after having spent so many hours sitting around the table in the unofficial meeting room, Midna was fairly confident that she was able to predict what he would say, and right now, considering everything they had seen, the only response she could imagine was that of him agreeing with her.</p>
<p>However, that was not what happened. Rather than nodding, Rusl simply tapped a finger against his chin, sending her a long look. “Are you sure that you can’t trust her?” he finally asked. “Because I must admit that I don’t see a reason not to.”</p>
<p>Midna would have liked to say that she was able to list the arguments for why she was right, that she simply stepped forwards and began to explain to him why beginning to trust Zelda and her reasoning for willingly boarding a ship belonging to what she perceived to be a group of pirates would be their downfall, but the words did not leave her mouth, remaining stuck inside her throat. “I—” she mumbled, having to cough twice before she was able to continue, “look, all I am saying is that no matter how quickly she might have been able to charm Ilia into letting her help with Epona, she is still the princess. She is second in line to the throne, and no matter how she acts right now, I refuse to believe that she was not raised by tutors loyal to Ganondorf and Ganondorf alone. Either she is a better actress than we think and currently here to collect information about us, or her father had planned this, using her as a piece in his game so that he would be able to find both her and us all at once. We can try our best not to give him any more ammunition against us and let her walk around as she pleases, but I will never trust her with even a task as simple as pulling up the rope ladder.”</p>
<p>“And what if she really did tell the truth?” Rusl asked. “What if she really is just trying to learn more? What if she believed that we were rebels? It would mean that she might very well be willing to work with us against her father. Do you have any idea about how valuable she would be in the fight against him if that is the case? Besides, you argued for letting her stay here at the meeting, so, surely, some part of you must have believed her.”</p>
<p>And just like that, Midna could feel her arguments fall apart as Rusl with that simple reminder managed to cut to the core of the issue. Zelda was here now and even if Midna had wanted to, sending her away was not an option. Still, that did not mean that she had to like her, it did not mean that she had to act like she was not aware of how Zelda would pretend to be on her side, asking questions, apologising, acting almost like she wanted to get close to her, only to continuously remind her of just why she could not trust anyone from the castle each time she brought up the subject of a possible rebellion.</p>
<p>She could feel how she was becoming defensive, crossing her arms in front of her as she tried her best not to let her voice tremble. “Why are you defending her?”</p>
<p>Rusl blinked once. Twice. Then he answered. “Because I believe that she might be our biggest chance of surviving.” he must have caught onto the flash of panic in her eyes, the way she was not able to hide how the thought of him possibly having plans to leave, that he might have been among the people Link had referred to when he had claimed that some of the residents might leave if she did not give them any hope that they might eventually be free again, for he reached out, placing a hand on her arm. She had not noticed she was shaking until that moment. “Calm down, I am not thinking about leaving at all. But, Midna, I know that you are aware of the fact that we cannot stay here forever. This might have been an ancient Twilight base, but sooner or later, Ganondorf is bound to notice it, and by then, I would prefer for us not to be here anymore. Already, the patrols seem to have become a bit more professional, a bit more purposeful, and if we do not have anywhere to flee to, we will be lucky to survive a week up in the air should they find us.”</p>
<p>As much as Midna tried not to think about it, she knew that he was right. The patrols had become larger and more frequent, the increase in the amount of soldiers passing through the forests around the mountains at first having been small enough for her to disregard it, but if Rusl had noticed it as well, Midna had to admit that the whispers she had heard about the issue were not just the result of Jaggle having stayed out for longer than he should have in an attempt at securing their food supply for the winter. And if it came to them having to flee, Midna was not as optimistic as Rusl when it came to assessing their chances. Though the ship might have been the crown jewel in the fleet of the royal family of the Twilight Realm, she doubted it would be able to keep them all alive for more than a few days if they would ever be in a situation where it would be their only home.</p>
<p>“What do you suggest we should do then?” the question came out more as a desperate plea for help instead of a continuation of the calm conversation Midna had wanted for it to be.</p>
<p>“I think we should focus on the princess. If she speaks out against her father, if she voices support for us, perhaps we could turn the citizens of Hyrule against him. That way, the army that would rise up to fight back against him would not only consist of the few rebels who escaped from Hyrule and the refugees from the Twilight Realm—we would have the people of Hyrule with us as well. It could make the difference, I truly believe it could.”</p>
<p>“Or we could die. Do you really think that after everything he has done, Ganondorf would not be willing to sacrifice his daughter if that was what staying in power would take?” Midna shook her head. “You and I have both seen first-hand what he does to those who are foolish enough to openly oppose him. Zelda would be no different, and that is assuming that she would ever be able to put action behind all of her pretty words about being righteous and heroic, but let’s just, for the sake of the argument, pretend that we could convince her to give up everything and go against her father. Now, what would happen next? Let me give you the answer to that question: she would die. The king would arrange for her to meet her demise and then announce that we had brainwashed his daughter, that we were the ones to kill her when she refused to cooperate. No matter what, it would result in our death. Are you really prepared to let Zelda die for the tiny chance of it being able to change something? Are you prepared to die for your ideals?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” the amount of conviction in Rusl’s answer was almost enough to make Midna take a step back, but somehow, she was able to stand still, remaining silent as Rusl continued. “Yes, if there was even the slightest chance that the plan could work, I would give my life for it in a heartbeat.”</p>
<p>Midna could not tell how much time passed, the two of them simply looking at each other, but when she finally found her answer, brushing Rusl’s hand away and making herself cold, she could have sworn that he had become an entirely different person, someone she could no longer recognise. “In that case, I think you should go talk with the princess. It would appear that you two have a lot in common.”</p>
<p>“Midna, I—”</p>
<p>“No,” backing away, Midna shook her head at how Rusl had been about to pull her into an embrace, “if you want to die for nothing, I can’t stop you, but I will not let you convince me that we have a chance. Go through with that plan, and you are going to become another name on the list of people who have tried and died for a dream that they could never achieve. I thought that you of all people knew what our situation is; I thought that you would be able to understand me.”</p>
<p>“And I do. Midna, you are not the one who doesn’t understand—”</p>
<p>“I do understand! I am listening to you and you are telling me that you think we should become the rebels the princess thought we were! Well, you might want to become that, but I don’t. Don’t try to talk with me; if you really are about to throw your life away for nothing, I would prefer not to have to mourn for you.”</p>
<p>Finally, it seemed that Rusl had understood. But although Midna tried her best to avoid it, she still caught a glimpse of his face, the way he seemed like he was seconds away from crying. Or perhaps it was Midna projecting onto him. As she felt the tears press against her resolve not to let anyone see her cry and risk that they decided that she was too weak for them to believe that the base was safe, Midna would not have been surprised if that had been the case. It was ridiculous, this should not have hurt more than having Jaggle throw the title of princess at her, but although Midna tried to deny it, she knew the exact reason for why this felt more like a betrayal than having Jaggle tell her he did not trust her had done.</p>
<p>Perhaps she could talk with Uli about it. Or Link. But while she would have loved to be able to share her fear of waking up one day to find that everyone was gone with someone, Midna could already tell what their reaction would be. And as much as she would have liked for someone to try to comfort her, the last thing she wanted right now was for Link to try to lie to her to make her believe that everything was going to be all right. Then, she would rather add the conversation to the chest inside her mind. She had become rather good at doing that, so what was one memory more when compared to that?</p>
<p>Midna knew that it was not a good idea but the freeing feeling of telling herself that she would try to handle it later—tomorrow, once she had made it through the winter, next year; she was not sure, only that it would have to be later—was almost enough for her to be able to forget about how she had missed dinner as she lay down in her bed, trying to find a moment of peace in her dreams.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And there we have it, Midna has finally begun to, very begrudgingly, extend the tiniest bit of trust towards Zelda!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Midna stood in the corner of the hangar, looking towards where Colin, Beth, and Talo seemed to have invented their own game, no matter how many times she tried to shake her head, forcing herself to think about something else, she could not help but return to both the conversation with Link and the discussion with Rusl. It simply kept coming back to her, constantly making itself heard like the pipe that had burst, making the sound of metallic screeching echo through the ship for months until Ilia had been able to locate the issue.</p>
<p>Midna could feel how her gaze wandered from the children over to the bedsheet. If only she were able to go to Ilia and ask her to fix this. Rationally, she knew that she could at the very least get the chance to talk with her for a moment if she did so, but Midna only had to think back to how Ilia had seemingly only needed a week to completely forget about the princess’ connection to the king to know that she would only be met with a blank gaze and the choice of either covering her ears or having to listen to Ilia tell her that she agreed with Rusl. And if that was the case, Midna would rather remain alone, fretting over the fact that it seemed like she had misjudged everyone around her.</p>
<p>In hindsight, Midna could have told herself that of course they were not going to understand her. Of course there would still be some part of them that would cling onto the memory of Ordon Village, convincing them that if Ganondorf would disappear, then the village would return, the buildings repairing themselves. And although Midna would have loved to be able to dismiss that kind of hope as childish, she would have lied if she had tried to claim that she did not feel a little pang of jealousy each time Ilia would try to tell her about what the village had once looked like. To Midna, Ordon Village might as well not have existed before the moment where the column of smoke and the orange colour of the fire that had moved on to consume the surrounding forest had made her and Link take a risk and fly so close to the ground that they could see the ruins of the village, but it was clear that in Ilia’s head, Ordon was still hidden there somewhere, waiting for its residents to return home. However, even the ability to tell herself that it should perhaps not have been that big of a surprise for her to hear that Rusl was apparently thinking about going home did not do much to help ease the sinking feeling that this was how it would be for the rest of her life, finding a new family, only to then immediately lose it again the moment she stopped clinging onto it all the time.</p>
<p>“They look like they are having fun, don’t they?”</p>
<p>The question took her by surprise, almost enough to make her let out a tiny, shocked yelp, but at the last moment, Midna managed to regain control, instead turning around to look over at Link.</p>
<p>As he stood there, shifting his weight from side to side, Midna could almost believe that he had just so happened to pass by the remote corner of the hangar, that the fact that he was now standing here next to her, not showing any signs of being about to leave any time soon was just a coincidence. But as he turned to look at her, Midna already knew how that was not the case at all.</p>
<p>Still, if Link wanted to play the game of trying to make the other one mention the unspoken issue between them, then Midna would make sure to win it., so, redirecting her attention towards the spot where Colin had almost tripped over a slight indent in the floor, Beth catching him by the arm before he hit the stones below, she made sure that her voice did not give away anything. “They do. Do you remember if we ever got the chance to play like this? Because I don’t have any memory of it, no matter how much I try to recall even just the faintest idea of having ever played like this. Maybe we were just both a bit too busy trying to survive and to not be caught by the guards to find time to invent games. Oh well, that is the joys of growing up within a secure military fortress, I suppose.”</p>
<p>Link gave in immediately, but as he let out a sigh, Midna could not help but feel a bit disappointed that that was all it had taken. Where were the times where they could have done this for days, both of them being too stubborn to admit that they were fighting, only for Link to always give up first in the end?</p>
<p>“All right, I didn’t come here to talk about the game they were playing,” Link admitted, Midna making sure that she did not blurt out the ‘yeah, I had guessed that already’ that had otherwise been waiting for her to point out the obvious as he shook his head, “I mean, I wish I was, but I really am not.” the look she sent him must have conveyed exactly how little Midna was in the mood for having to wait for Link to make excuses, for, rubbing the back of his head, Link continued. “I just talked with Uli and I am not telling you this to make you worry, but she is beginning to look a bit fearful every time I mention food.”</p>
<p>“Why? She seemed so confident that we would be able to make it through the winter the last time I spoke to her,” Midna said, but already, she knew that a lot could have changed since that meeting. A single glance at the almost finished ship that not even the bedsheets were able to hide from her was enough to confirm that.</p>
<p>“Yes, but, Midna, she had to throw out another sack of potatoes just yesterday, and we did not exactly have a lot of food to begin with—and if you are thinking about suggesting that we go out into the forest to gather more food, don’t bother; I already said that, but she seems to think that it will be too dangerous for us now, something about Rusl barely avoiding being spotted by a patrol the last time he went out.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Midna swallowed and tried to ignore the familiar feeling of her eyes stinging. The fight had not been her fault, not when she was just trying to keep everyone alive, so she refused to feel bad about it. “I spoke to him just a few days ago, and he said… roughly the same thing.”</p>
<p>The silence almost seemed to make time slow down around them. But where Midna might once have decided to interpret it as a victory, now, it only made the ugly feelings inside of her grow, the silence that was only interrupted by the sound of Link dragging the sole of his right boot over the floor giving her plenty of time to begin to question herself. Maybe she had been a bit too quick to lash out at Rusl. When all was said and done, did they not want to achieve the same thing, to make sure that they would survive? Once, Midna would have been able to answer that question in a heartbeat, but after everything that had happened lately, she was not that sure anymore. With how Rusl had seemed a bit too eager back when he had argued in favour of allowing Zelda to stay, the enthusiasm with which he had presented his arguments having appeared to be nothing more than his usual habit of trying to argue against the general consensus at the meetings but now feeling a bit out of place, and the way he was now also arguing that they should convince Zelda to stand with them against her father, Midna could barely recognise the friend she had found in him when she thought about him now. If Link was going down the same path, she had to make sure to change things now, before it would all spiral out of control.</p>
<p>It was that, the little hint of fear that perhaps she had already let her opportunity to act pass by, that made Midna toss aside her pride to be the first to speak. “Look, Link, we are going to make it. We always have, and we are going to continue to do so. I promise you.”</p>
<p>“I know.” but everything about the way Link said it, the way he would not meet her gaze, how he crossed his arms in front of his chest, told her the exact opposite. “I know we are going to survive. I was just thinking that it would probably be better if I was the one to inform you about the issue.”</p>
<p>He began to walk away, but as Midna looked at him, catching a glimpse of the lie in his eyes, she knew that she could not allow the conversation to end now, not like this.</p>
<p>“Wait!” her voice sounded desperate, but Midna supposed that she might also be just that as she reached out, barely managing to grab Link’s hand. “Wait, please, I promise you, I am going to take care of this.” already as she said it, Midna could hear that it was a lie. What could she really do? Going on another mission might be able to bring them enough food to last the winter, but there was also the risk of one of them falling into the hands of the enemy, and although she would have sacrificed almost anything to be able to ensure that they had enough to eat, that was a line she was not willing to cross. The forest had been able to provide them with berries throughout most of the year, but with the frost having set in weeks ago and the soldiers surely having somehow begun to suspect the presence of someone, they would be lucky to get more than a few hours out there at a time, not nearly enough time to gather anything. Still, Midna knew that she would find a way, even if it required for her to give up her own meals, so, moving her hand to instead give Link’s hand a little squeeze, she put on a smile. “I will think of something, I know that. I always have.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she was sure that Link would simply leave, but then the tiny smile softened his features. “I know you will. But just… think about it. This is not the first time we struggled with the winter, but I am sure that Uli would agree with me when I say that I don’t think it has ever been this bad before.”</p>
<p>“I know.” a frustrated noise filled the air between them. “But I will handle it. Just give me a moment to think of something—no, first, I need to go take a look at the larder.”</p>
<p>As Midna walked away, making sure that the smile she sent Colin when she passed him did not reflect her worries, she could hear how Link said something about how she might want not to do that right then, but she ignored it. Sure, it would not make her feel good to look at the state of their supply, but she had to know.</p>
<p>She had only taken a few steps towards the stairs leading up to the second floor of the complex when the sound of a pebble falling down from above her, missing her by centimetres, made her jerk to the side. Looking up for the source of the stone, Midna felt how her heart first skipped a beat before beating hard against her ribs as she saw Zelda.</p>
<p>Standing on the gangway, it seemed that she had kicked the pebble away from its spot up there while leaning over the handrail. At least she had the decency to look embarrassed that she had just been caught trying to listen in on the conversation, but even the sight of her trying to hide how she blushed slightly, whispering something that was most likely an apology, only for the combination of the wind and the anger that rose as a response to how she had tried to overhear her private conversation to make Midna unable to do more than look at how her mouth moved, did nothing to make Midna feel like forgiving her. This was exactly why she should have refrained from letting her walk around the base, this was the kind of issue she should have been able to predict back then.</p>
<p>But although she could see how Zelda reached out for her, no doubt trying to tell her to come up to her so that she could apologise, Midna simply sent her the coldest glare she could muster. Considering how she felt her hands shake in her pockets, she doubted that she had succeeded in making it seem even the tiniest bit intimidating, but as she spun around to sprint over towards the larder, she could not have cared less. All that mattered was to get away from Zelda and the look of pity in her eyes that she did not deserve. No matter how much Zelda might enjoy lying to herself, trying to convince herself that this was where she belonged, that she was now a part of some kind of secret rebellion, she had no right to come here and throw her pity at them. Midna had survived eighteen years without her, and if she could keep everyone from leaving, she might be able to survive another eighteen years after Zelda would inevitably tire of playing pretend and realise that she had made the biggest mistake of her life when she had boarded their ship, returning home to her life of luxury within the castle. Of course, the scenario still left her with the question of just how they would ever be able to let Zelda leave them again, but, kicking the echo of Fado’s voice telling her that it would not be right to keep her there at the base when she had finally woken up to face reality, Midna forced herself not to think about it. The question of just what she should do once she realised that she had thrown her life away would be Zelda’s headache, not hers. For now, Midna had plenty to worry about with the question of how she could make their resources last the entire winter almost seeming to repeat with every step she took towards the larder.</p>
<p>After what felt like ages, she finally reached the nondescript door halfway between the set of rooms that had become Ilia and her father’s within the first week of the survivors from Ordon having arrived at the base, and although Midna knew that she should not become distracted, the temptation of going over there to get a chance to talk things through with Ilia was almost too strong to resist. In the end, it was only the fact that Ilia would most likely be found in front of Epona rather than in her room that kept Midna from abandoning her mission.</p>
<p>Letting out a tiny sigh and whispering a quick prayer, hoping that Link and Ilia had been right that time they had told her that even if they did not receive what they had asked for, it made them feel a bit braver, Midna entered the larder.</p>
<p>The first thing she noticed was the lack of things on the shelves around her. The last time Midna had gone to the larder it had by no means been full, but even then, the sight of all the empty crates, the rows upon rows of shelves with only a few jars of salted fish and crates of flour and rice to decorate them still made her unable to do anything other than simply standing there, staring at the sight in front of her for a moment. Slowly, she began to understand why Uli had taken it upon herself to take care of the meals, for right then, Midna would have given almost anything to ensure that no one else would have to be confronted with the fact that no matter how many times she tried to change the numbers in the calculations that moved to the front of her mind within seconds of taking in the sight of the empty room, she could not reach a result that was low enough to fit the contents of the larder.</p>
<p>The sensation of someone walking up to her almost seemed to make the air sift around her, but even as someone reached out towards her hand, the years of having fought the soldiers sent to guard the different ships passing through the sky above Hyrule telling her to twirl around, ready to defend herself, Midna remained where she was, for once unable to do much more than to look directly ahead.</p>
<p>“I am sorry about earlier.”</p>
<p>Zelda’s voice reached her, cutting directly through her thoughts, because of course it was Zelda, who else would have looked at Midna and decided to follow her?</p>
<p>Turning around as slowly as she could, trying to fight the instinct to look at the princess and search for a sign that perhaps, just perhaps, she was able to understand what the almost empty room and the way Midna could not muster up the strength not to let her shoulders slump meant, Midna let out a hollow laugh. “Sorry about what exactly? That you decided to listen in on a private conversation between two friends even though it should have been obvious with how they were standing in the corner that they did not want for anyone to hear what they were saying, or sorry about the fact that we do not have what it will take to get us through winter?”</p>
<p>It seemed that Zelda had already been about to answer, but as Midna spit out the last word, her eyes widened, a look of uncertainty appearing in her eyes. “Are we going to starve?” her voice was high, shrill, completely unlike the calm and collected princess Midna had met inside the royal airship, the person who had stood in front of her and ordered her not to let any harm come to the soldiers aboard the ship. As Zelda looked around at the contents of the larder, Midna could almost see the exact moment where she seemed to realise that the empty shelves were not normal, that there was not some secret trapdoor below them leading to another, more secret room, stacked full of food, a soft sound escaping her. “May Nayru help us.”</p>
<p>She should have left her there, simply said that yes, it was bad, and that she hoped she would be ready to go hungry during the last month of winter, leaving Zelda to the same kind of desperation that had begun to almost feel dull after they had begun to move closer and closer to the starvation line with each and every passing year, but for some reason, Midna could not make her body obey her, could not make herself leave her, not when Zelda reached up towards her face, placing her hand above her heart as the other came to rest against her cheek, a thoughtful expression almost making it seem like she truly believed that she could think of a way out of the reality the empty larder reflected.</p>
<p>“No,” Midna said, and although she could not understand why—they were not friends, no matter how Zelda might think of herself as a part of some heroic organisation, determined to free everyone—seeing how the colour returned to Zelda’s face, her eyes becoming a bit brighter as she spotted a bit of hope, did make her feel a little bit better about the fact that unless she was able to come up with a way to obtain more, more meat, more vegetables, more grains, more food, Midna could not figure out how Uli would ever be able to make everything last until spring, “no, I will not let that happen.” slowly, halfway expecting for Zelda to push her away, she reached out to take her hand, brushing her thumb over the back of her hand in what she hoped might be a comforting gesture. “I am going to think of something, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>And Zelda believed her. Midna could see that in the way she nodded, the gesture completely unlike the reaction she knew her words would have elicited if she had told anyone else the exact same thing. But then again, Zelda also seemed to be the only one within the base who was not at the very least somewhat aware of the fact that Uli did not carefully prepare and measure out their meals simply because she was kind.</p>
<p>Only a few years ago, it had been almost easy to pretend that she might view her as a daughter, but already the first winter they had spent along with the rest of the former residents of Ordon Village, Midna had been forced to realise that Uli’s habit of not serving dinner until Midna was standing right there, ready to sit down and eat, was not simply her way of making sure that she would get the chance to talk with her, instead being a way to ensure that they would not waste food on someone who was not able to eat.</p>
<p>Looking at Zelda, as much as Midna would have liked to find out if letting her know what it felt like to realise that what she had assumed was a thoughtful gesture really was a way to try to delay starvation another year would be what it would finally take to force her to abandon the idea of Midna being some kind of hero, she did not have the heart to tell her.</p>
<p>So instead, she stood still, waiting for Zelda to say something, trying to mentally prepare herself for the response. There was no doubt in Midna’s mind that it would be some kind of idealistic observation about life, that, or another apology for having tried to convince everyone to leave. But no amount of trying to paint an emotionless expression onto her face, making sure that she would not snap at her no matter what kind of naïve comment Zelda would no doubt make, immediately bringing Midna to her senses again, forcing her to face the truth and realise that Zelda was still a princess, would ever have been enough.</p>
<p>For rather than trying to say something, Zelda pulled her in, moving towards her. It was not until Midna felt how Zelda had thrown her arms around her that she realised how she should have let go of her hand, that she should never have reached out to try to console her by taking her hand in the first place. But no matter how much she did not like the fact that the princess of Hyrule had pulled her into an embrace, no matter how much she wanted to shove Zelda away, to feel her arms disappear from around her, get her hair as far away from her neck as she could, she found that she could not bring herself to do anything other than to stand still.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda noticed how she never returned the hug. Midna truly could not say what thoughts were going through her head as Zelda finally let go of her, taking a step back to look up at her with a smile she did not return. “Thank you. Really. I—” Zelda leant to the side, shaking her head slightly, and for a moment, as she stood there, dragging the tip of her boots over the floor, there was only the faintest memory of the life of a princess left in her behaviour, “I… thank you. I needed to hear that.”</p>
<p>She would not continue to think about her. Not in this way, not as they were standing in the larder that delivered the knowledge that they were going to starve along with the sugary smell of honey. Midna knew that already, but as Zelda’s eyes grew shiny and she began to blink madly, before giving in and using the back of her hand to wipe away the tears, she could not help but wonder if she might have been able to understand what it all meant for them if she had told her. With a shrug, Midna made sure to look away from Zelda as she answered. “Well, in that case, let me know about the next time you need me to repeat it.”</p>
<p>“I will.” Zelda smiled, and for a moment, Midna could almost believe that it could stay like that, that Zelda could simply be yet another person who had been unfortunate enough to be the daughter of a countryman who had happened to live in a village, only to realise too late that Ganondorf had decided that someone in his village had committed a crime that was serious enough to warrant the total destruction of the area, leaving the ruins to remind everybody else that the king would not tolerate those who tried to raise an army to attack their neighbours, while still having enough luck to not have been present during the destruction, leaving her with nowhere to go other than the base.</p>
<p>But, of course, the moment Midna could almost begin to remember having landed the Shadow on a nearby field, having been alerted by the sight of the open wound in the landscape, and finding Zelda in the ruins of her home, she had to remind her of her past. Once more reaching out for Midna’s hand, Zelda tilted her head to the side, and simply by looking at her face, Midna already knew that it would be better for her to cut in, to say that she had to leave, that she had promised to go tell Uli about the state of their supply of food, and yet, she could not move, leaving her powerless to do anything other than simply looking at Zelda as she felt the moment of destruction approach.</p>
<p>Zelda must not have noticed the way her shoulders rose upwards, or maybe she simply decided to regard it as a sign that she had to say something as well, for as much as Midna would have liked to pretend that she was doing it deliberately, she could not find even the slightest trace of malice in her voice as she brought an end to her daydreams of a world where they might have been friends, where they might have found an agreement in their shared quest for survival.</p>
<p>“Midna, I… you have opened my eyes to the world around me. I know that you don’t like how I tried to tell you that you are a hero, so I will not try to convince you that you are wrong again, but just know that I have been told by more than a few people here that had it not been for you, they would have sent me home the moment they had discovered that I had managed to sneak aboard your ship. So thank you for that.”</p>
<p>It had to be some kind of effect of having already been forced to spend hours in her presence. It was a sign that she was slowly beginning to grow used to having to fight down the initial surge of anger that followed almost everything Zelda said that felt like she had spent hours choosing the exact words that would make sure to remind Midna of how she had grown up with all the luxuries and privileges that came with being a princess. It simply had to be it; was the only explanation. For as Midna stood there, looking at her, rather than being angry, she just felt tired. Tired and a bit sad that Zelda really was there in front of her, telling her that she was happy that she had not been sent home, glad that she would get to starve along with the rest of them, though Midna supposed that, at the very least, Zelda still possessing the same kind of childish belief in anything Midna would tell her to make her stop worrying about the future might be able to take away a little of that sadness. Still, with how even Colin seemed to have at least partly outgrown that, it should only have served as yet another piece of evidence that despite the clothing and how Zelda was almost able to imitate their way of talking and walking, she still belonged in the capital rather than out there.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the early signs of how she was not eating enough, but Midna could not muster up the energy to hiss at her, to let her know that the fact that she could be so calm while standing in the middle of the shelves that told them how hungry they would end up becoming if they did not act now was enough to let her know that she had yet to truly understand anything about the life around them.</p>
<p>“Close them.” her voice sounded hoarse, but Midna could still see that Zelda’s raised eyebrows were not due to her voice, but instead what she had said.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Your eyes. Close them. It is easier that way, trust me. You do not want to see the world, not when you still have the option of pretending that everything is fine. Close your eyes now, and I promise you that you will want to return home before the end of the month.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t want to have them remain closed!” as Zelda took a step towards her, Midna found herself considering whether the answer to the puzzle of just how Zelda was able to stay warm during the night should be found in the way she almost seemed to exude energy, acting like a sun and bringing warmth to the air around them. “You told me that I should stop being blind to what was happening around me and now I am trying my best to do as you told me to, and yet you are telling me not to. Please, I need your help. Help me open my eyes.”</p>
<p>At once, Midna could see the years of being taught the art of arguing, how to talk with someone to make it sound like your ideas were ones their mind had thought of by itself, surface in Zelda’s behaviour, and although she supposed she should have been better than that, should have been able to ignore the effects of it, there was still a fraction of a second where the option of agreeing with her and promising to help her seemed almost inviting, though for entirely different reasons than what would have motivated her to let Zelda experience first-hand the way the fear would be enough to render a person immobile the first time they were face to face with the sight of a village in ruins. But then she was able to shake her head and banish the thought.</p>
<p>“No.” Midna tried to make her voice cold, but found that it sounded more tired than anything else. “I will not help you, nor would you want me to do that if you had any idea about what it would mean for you. Just… be grateful for your life. You can still go home; I promise you that you will have forgot about us within a year. Then you can continue on with your life of being the second in line for the throne like nothing ever happened.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t want to. I truly do not wish to return to the life I led in the castle. There is nothing I miss about it—this is where I belong.”</p>
<p>“You don’t mean that. Surely, there is something you miss.” casting a glance at their surroundings, Midna immediately knew what example to use. Gesturing towards the empty shelf next to her, she continued. “What is your favourite food?”</p>
<p>The answer came promptly. “Fruitcake. Fruitcake with slices of apple on top.”</p>
<p>It was such a typical thing for Zelda to say, a cake, something that used up so many resources while not being able to bring much more than the pleasure of eating it in return., that Midna could not completely hide how a smile made its way to her face. “Well, there you go,” she said, and although she tried, the harsh tone in her voice would not obey her, continuing to sound flat rather than angry, “there is something you miss. That just proves that, sooner or later, you are going to return home. That it just how it is—when you have tried having everything once, you are not going to rest until you can reach it all again.”</p>
<p>But of course that was still not enough for Zelda, only causing her to shake her head and take both of Midna’s hands in hers as she spoke. “But I prefer to be here. It feels right to be here. I would not be able to return home, not after everything you have told me.”</p>
<p>Midna scoffed. “If anything, all the times I have yelled at you should only have convinced you that everything your father ever said about us was right.” when Zelda refused to give in, still looking at her with the same kind of stupidly open look, her eyes full of confidence that it could all really be so simple, that staying here, living the same life as the pirates, would be the same as doing what was right, Midna let out a sigh. “Look, I am trying my best not to yell at you here, but you have to understand that I was not given the choice. None of us were. We were all forced to flee to this base. So do you understand why it only serves to remind me of everything you represent when you talk about this like it is some kind of amazing experience for you? Because it really isn’t, and I know that you are going to discover than sooner or later.”</p>
<p>At least Zelda bothered to look sheepish when she answered. “No, I... I had not thought about it. I am sorry.”</p>
<p>“It is fine.” Midna forced out the word although it felt like a lie. “Just… leave me alone, will you? I know that everyone else here loves you, so surely you must have someone other than me to talk to.”</p>
<p>She could not tell if the feeling of her heart speeding up was due to disappointment or relief when Zelda bowed her head, but she was too exhausted to bring herself to find out, instead choosing to bury the issue.</p>
<p>Looking down at the ground, Zelda did not try to argue with her. “If you want me to.”</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>Without giving Zelda another chance to resume trying her best to trick her into forgetting about the fact that, despite everything, she was still a princess and would never quite be able to forget about her old life, Midna turned around and left the larder. It was all becoming too much for her, having to stand in the almost empty room and know that it was all they had to get them through the winter, for she felt almost dizzy as she went to find Uli, unable to keep her thoughts from circling back towards Zelda—Zelda and the way Midna could feel how her idealistic conviction was beginning to seep into the very walls around her, affecting the base and everyone living within it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we go, Zelda seems to have grown a bit more aware of what is really happening, or at least that is what she says, just as Midna is once again made aware of the reality of the situation they are in.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It should have been simple for Midna to enjoy the peace that Zelda’s reluctant promise to leave her alone had created. After all, despite how she had not truly expected for her to keep her promise, it seemed that Midna was finally able to make her way around the base without seeing Zelda every time she turned around the corner, the princess always looking like she was only a few seconds away from running over to her to once again attempt to convince her that, really, they were almost rebels already with how they attacked the ships that flew through Hyrule. By all means, it should have been easy for her to go back to her usual habits and find joy in the fact that Zelda was not constantly trying to talk with her.</p>
<p>But for some reason, it was not at all that simple. Although Midna tried her best not to let it affect her, it only took a few days before the unnatural silence was beginning to become deafening, the consequences of not wanting to talk with Link, Ilia, and Rusl if that would require for her to pretend that their ideas about what they should do to survive were not childish at best and a sign of them not really understanding the situation at worst, catching up with her. Despite what she had tried to tell herself after first returning to her cabin, there were only so many hours she was able to hide inside her room, trying to scrawl down her ideas about what they could do to get through the winter, only to find that the piece of paper remained stubbornly blank in front of her, before she began to send wistful glances out of the porthole.</p>
<p>Still, talking to her friends was definitely not an option, Midna knew that much. She had been right, so if they wanted to bridge the gap she could feel growing between them, they would have to come to her, not the other way around. Midna might not have been above walking into the forest to look for any tiny animal they could eat—rats, mice, it did not matter, as long as it was edible—but she still had enough pride left not to go over to them, not to make it sound like she was trying to apologise for wanting to do everything within her power to keep them alive.</p>
<p>That left her with only one option. So, as much as she hated it, it only took Midna a few days before she gave in and set out to find Zelda.</p>
<p>At least she did not have to spend much time looking for her, not with how Zelda seemed to have found her favourite spot within the base in the little nook towards the front of the hangar, sitting just below the gun slit in the wall while she balanced a stack of papers on top of a plank, scribbling something onto them, the sound of the tip of the fountain pen being dragged across the rough surface making the silence feel a little less intense as Midna approached her.</p>
<p>With how Midna had halfway expected for Zelda to ignore her presence, to continue looking down at what she was working on, the fact that she had only barely made it over to her before Zelda looked up, a tiny smile already appearing as she pushed everything aside, placing the plank, the paper, and the pen next to her on the ground before seemingly remembering her promise, the look in her eyes becoming unsure, only served to make her continue even as part of her was screaming for her to simply turn around and claim that it was nothing , just her having failed to notice her in time, to spare herself the embarrassment.</p>
<p>But she had made it this far, so Midna kicked her pride away to instead sit down next to Zelda on the floor. “Hi,” she mumbled, though the word ended up sounding more like a croak. Clearing her throat, Midna tried again, “uh, I was just wondering what you were doing.”</p>
<p>“Nothing, I was just trying to write a bit in my diary. Or, well,” Zelda motioned towards the loose pieces of paper, “really, I suppose you would not quite be able to call that a diary—not that I don’t appreciate Ilia letting me take some of the paper, because I really do, but it’s just…”</p>
<p>“It is not the same?” Midna finished the sentence for her.</p>
<p>There was a split second where Midna could see the surprise on Zelda’s face, the way her eyes widened in response to how she had not snapped at her, and although she knew that she had been in the right back then, it sent a little pang of guilt through her, Midna only barely managing to bite back something she already knew would have sounded too much like an apology. She was not here to make some princess feel good about herself. Surely, Zelda had grown up spending every day surrounded by people who were willing to praise her every move. Being reminded that she was not most perfect person in the world for a bit would not harm her. Besides, Midna was not here to make her like her; she could not have cared less about what the princess thought of her. All that mattered was that she had no one else to talk to, and that Zelda, despite her many faults, at least seemed to be determined to seize every opportunity to talk with her as soon as it presented itself to her.</p>
<p>Zelda’s expression softened as she let her hand run over the page, the usual smile returning once more. “No,” she said, pulling one leg up to rest her chin against it, “it isn’t. But then again, nothing here really is. I can’t remember the last time I did not have every single day planned out for me right from the moment I woke up to the moment I would return to my chambers in the evening. It is… a bit strange, really. I mean, I will never complain about not feeling like everyone is trying their best to keep me where they want me to be, but without it… it feels a bit empty.” as Zelda looked up at her, Midna could almost see how she was trying her best to choose her next words to ensure that she would not accidentally end up insulting her as she continued. “What do you do here all day? I mean, I know that you go out to take supplies from ships, but other than that, what do you do with your time?” a wry smile made her eyes look like they were shining. “After all, I doubt you have to attend meetings about what you would theoretically do if you had to handle a rebellion.”</p>
<p>“You are right,” Midna admitted, and although she wanted to be annoyed that Zelda was sitting here, acting like they were friends, trying her best to make it seem like her life back in the castle had been some kind of trial for her, she could not really make her voice sound as cold as she would have liked for it to be, “we don’t. Here, I just have to sit at meetings and pretend that I am not extremely aware of how it is all not a farce, given how all I have to do is to voice my opinion and then everyone will end up agreeing with me no matter how dumb my suggestion is or what they were trying to argue for moments before.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Zelda raised her brows, “why is that? Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that you are great at arguing, but having everyone agree with you, that really is quite the feat. Can you tell me your secret?”</p>
<p>Sending her a quick look, Midna was surprised to find that she had to clench her fists and remind herself that, despite how good Zelda might be at pretending to fit in, no matter how much she might miss her friends, her real friends, she would rather be alone than to have to tell Zelda the reason. Shaking her head so quickly that Midna could feel how the metal beads in her hair came close to flying up to hit her face, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, making sure that Zelda could not miss the signs of how she had just crossed the line. “No, that is no concern of yours.”</p>
<p>“I am sorry.” as she said it, it sounded like Zelda might actually mean it, that she might truly be sorry, rather than merely being sad that she had just let the opportunity to once again rub in the fact that she had grown up surrounded by servants, living within Hyrule Castle with her entire family alive around her, making sure that she had always been able to know that, if nothing else, she had love and support no matter what. “I didn’t meant to—”</p>
<p>“It is fine,” Midna said with a sigh. She really was desperate to find someone to talk to, but then again, she knew that already so what was a little bit more desperation when compared with that? She was not sure she knew the answer to that, nor did she want to, but no matter what, fact was that she continued, “it is just… it is a long story, and…” looking over at Zelda, Midna could not make herself tell her that she simply did not want to share it with her, so at the last minute, she managed to change the explanation, “and I don’t want to have to relive it again.”</p>
<p>She had expected for Zelda to say something, possibly for her to tell her something banal about her own life out of some misguided attempt at trying to make it seem like they were anything like one another, but for some reason, Zelda stayed quiet.</p>
<p>It was not until the silence between them had grown until it almost felt like it was deafening that Midna found herself beginning to miss the clumsy attempts at relating to her. As much as she did not like it when Zelda tried to compare their experiences, at least it had given them something to talk about, and as the silence continued, making it feel like the seconds slowed down with the express purpose of letting Midna note how her heartrate was beginning to speed up a little as she tried to find something to say to free them from the horrible sound of silence, only interrupted by the distant sound of the children running around in the other end of the hangar, she found herself almost missing it. But with how Zelda kept her gaze fixed on her sleeve, fiddling with the spot where a bullet had come close enough to the sleeve to leave a little mark on the fabric, it was clear that the task of finding something to say had landed in front of Midna.</p>
<p>And that, she did.</p>
<p>“You know, you asked about what we do all day earlier.” already the second after the words had made their way out of her mouth, she regretted them, but by then, Midna knew that she could not stop, not yet. And as much as the way that Zelda’s face lit up, the woman sitting up a bit straighter, the top of her head still barely reaching the level of Midna’s eyes, should have served to annoy her, making her do everything to stop herself from continuing, it was not enough to let her come to her senses and realise that she was about to make a major mistake. No, rather than falling silent, Midna found herself continuing, her tone of voice changing as she made it through the sentence until it sounded almost friendly. “And, well, although it has been some time since the last time we have done it, a few years ago, we usually spent most of our days in the forest outside this fortress.” giving a toss of the head, Midna gestured towards the open gates where the crowns of the trees made the world outside seem like a painting of greens and whites. “If you know where to look for it, there are a lot of different plants out there that can sometimes be the difference between lasting the winter and… not being able to make it. And animals, of course—that as well.”</p>
<p>Zelda tilted her head. “But then why aren’t we out there right now? If we need the plants, then… why not go out there?”</p>
<p>“Because your father does not exactly allow for people to take what they want from the forest even though it does not belong to him.” Midna shrugged. “And with how we are not exactly interested in him finding out about us being here, the risk of being seen by the soldiers patrolling the area makes it so that we have to be careful when going out there.”</p>
<p>“But you said that you used to spend almost every day out there.”</p>
<p>If nothing else, Midna supposed she should be impressed that Zelda had not begun to apologise for her father again. As long as she stayed quiet about it, it was almost possible for her to pretend that she really was not the daughter of her enemy, allowing for Midna to at least try to push down the anger in her voice as she nodded at her. “That is true. However, an important part of that sentence is the fact that we <em>used </em>to spend almost every day out there.” sighing, she leant back against the wall, trying her best to ignore how the wind having found its way in through the gun slit sent a shiver down her back. “But it seems that the king has grown more and more paranoid that someone would try to go into the forest to look for a way to secure their survival, because, lately, the patrols have changed. It is no longer a matter of a few soldiers walking around, making so much noise that you can tell they are about to come your way hours before they have even made that decision themselves. Now, they actually seem to be somewhat aware of their surroundings.”</p>
<p>As Midna tried her best to hide the way she was not completely able to mask her worry, Zelda simply looked straight ahead, her face not revealing a single clue about what she was thinking.</p>
<p>Maybe that was why something felt like it broke apart when Zelda spoke, her voice having become thin and scared, almost like she was not aware of how she could escape all consequences by siding with Jaggle and those who wanted to send her back and simply flee the area to instead return home to a luxurious life in the capital. Midna could honestly not tell if that was the reason, but it felt like it could be, like it might be able to explain why she felt the instant need to make that little drop of fear disappear when Zelda turned to look at her.</p>
<p>“We are going to starve, aren’t we? That story you told me about there being plenty of food… it was just something you said to keep me from worrying too much, was it not?”</p>
<p>The logical thing to do would be to deny everything, to tell her that she must have misunderstood and that Midna would never lie to anyone within the base, not even to spare their feelings. But, as much as she knew that it would be the best choice not to let the princess see a sign of weakness, she could not make herself deny the claim, instead bowing her head in a gesture that felt a bit too much like surrendering. “Yes. Not right now, but… unless we suddenly find more food, someone leaves, or we suddenly become extremely lucky and every last morsel will be able to make it through the winter without rotting, we are not going to be able to make it last.”</p>
<p>To her credit, Midna had to say that, despite what she had expected, Zelda took the news remarkably well. There were no tears, no moment where she could see Zelda reach the conclusion that she did not want to be there anymore now that she was no longer able to pretend that being right would protect them from everything, no denial. Instead, Zelda simply nodded to herself, looking almost eerily calm as she pushed herself to her feet. As she turned around to look back down at her, Midna could almost see why Zelda might have liked to pretend that she had gone to become a part of the rebellion, for in that moment, she might almost have been tricked into believing that Rusl could have been right when he had tried to claim that people would be willing to go against Ganondorf if only Zelda told them to.</p>
<p>With the same kind of determination shining in her eyes that Midna had first seen back when Zelda had put herself in between her guards and anyone she perceived to be a threat, she gestured for Midna to take her hand. “Well, then what are we waiting for. Let’s go!”</p>
<p>Just like that, the illusion fell apart, and although Midna did take her hand, letting Zelda pull her up from her spot on the floor, the reminder that, despite how she had just been able to trick herself into thinking that perhaps Zelda had woken up, she had not given up her ideas about how the world around her functioned just yet hit her with the same force the wind would bring when they would fly through the clouds. However, even as she knew that she would not like the answer, Midna could not keep herself from asking the question that was waiting at the tip of her tongue. “What do you mean? Where do you want us to go?”</p>
<p>“Outside, of course!” Zelda shot her a look, clearly showing her how it should have been obvious, which, although for entirely different reasons than what Zelda might think, Midna supposed it was. “You said it yourself, there is food to be found outside, so let’s go out and get it!” without waiting for a response, she began to head over towards the open gates, dragging Midna along behind her.</p>
<p>She was not scared. Midna refused to think of herself as not daring to follow along, not when Zelda was walking briskly in front of her, but the thought of going out there and risking being seen still made dread pool in the pit of her stomach as she tried to argue, to make her see reason. “Wait, Zelda, we can’t just go out there! There are patrols; we are going to be seen! Besides, it is not like there is just some banquet lined up for us the moment we let the trees block our view of the sky—finding food requires time, patience, and skill.”</p>
<p>“Then it is a good thing that you are here,” Zelda replied, “you can show me where to find the plants. My tutors have thought me a bit about recognising the different herbs, so as long as we stay together, we should be able to, at the very least, avoid anything that might be poisonous.”</p>
<p>The question of when and why exactly Ganondorf had felt the need to make certain that his daughter was able to recognise plants was enough to silence Midna for a moment, allowing Zelda to make it all the way over to the gate without her being able to object to the horrible idea.</p>
<p>But, at last, as they reached the spot where the solid stone walls gave way for where the indent in the floor showed exactly where the gates would hit when closed, the wind seizing its chance to hit them without having things such as walls and stone to block it and sending chills down Midna’s back, Zelda finally began to slow down, sending her a hesitant look before gazing out towards the forest below them.</p>
<p>“Look,” she said, and finally, it appeared that she might be at least a little aware of just how bad her idea really was, “I am not going to force you to go with me. I know I cannot do that and even if I thought that you would listen to an order, I would not give it. However, I will ask you to come with me. If anything happens, I would feel much safer knowing that you are there with me.”</p>
<p>Considering the fact that Midna could already tell her that, should it come to that, she would be willing to leave Zelda behind in a heartbeat if it would give her even the slightest chance of being able to escape the soldiers, the request for her to come along as some kind of living shield that would not hesitate before placing itself directly in front of the danger should by all means have earned nothing but a derisive laugh. But, for some reason as she looked first at Zelda and then towards the forest that rested at the foot of the mountain, Midna could not make herself tell her that she would have to go alone if she wanted to leave the mountain.</p>
<p>With a loud sigh, making sure that Zelda knew just how much she resented her for making her do this, Midna gave in. “I can see that I am not going to make you see reason, so I suppose I don’t have a choice if I don’t want for you to give away the location of our base.”</p>
<p>“You will come with me?”</p>
<p>“I will. After all, nothing I have seen you do so far has given me any reasons to believe that you would be able to both not die the moment you would encounter a wolf or let the patrols see you.” she had meant it as an insult, but as Zelda simply smiled at her, Midna could tell that the comment had failed to achieve even the slightest bit of annoyance as a response.</p>
<p>It was great, just wonderful. Not only would she now have to leave the tiny amount of warmth they were able to trap within the base to instead head into the forest to make sure the princess would not end up alerting the Hyrulean soldiers to the fact that the few who had been able to escape Ganondorf’s rule were living only a few hours beyond the border, easily within the reach of even the oldest ships from his fleet, it seemed that the princess now also thought that she liked having to show her were to place her feet as they made their way down the side of the mountain, taking her hand to make sure that she would not fall as they tried their best to traverse the difficult path that led from the entrance of the base to the foot of the mountain. Whoever had first built the base had made sure to hide the entrance, doing everything they could possibly have done to make the secret pathway that could guide them down safely as twisted as possible, Midna knew that, but having to make sure that Zelda was able to follow along brought a whole new meaning to the word ‘frustrating’. But by what felt like it could very well have been described as a miracle, they somehow made it into the forest without breaking any bones in the process.</p>
<p>“Where should we go?” already the moment after she had asked the question, Zelda had begun to head to the left, clearly not caring all that much for the answer.</p>
<p>“We should head towards the place where the plants and are most likely to be as that is where the animals will be as well,” Midna said with a sigh as she reached out to take her hand to guide her in the opposite direction, “that means this way. There is a lake a few kilometres this way. If we are lucky, we might be able to find some edible roots there, perhaps even a few mice. Food tends to follow the water around here.”</p>
<p>Was it mean to make sure to emphasise the last sentence while glancing over towards Zelda to see if the idea of possibly seeing mice and knowing that they might have to eat them would be enough for the princess to turn around? Possibly, but that did not keep Midna from doing exactly that, waiting for the moment when Zelda would give up and tell her that they should probably just go back home already.</p>
<p>But rather than trying to hide her disgust, Zelda just nodded, making a little jump as she walked along next to her. “Sure! Is there anything else I should know?”</p>
<p>“Yes, normally it is a good idea to try to stay quiet. It tends to scare off the animals if they can hear you coming from kilometres away.”</p>
<p>Zelda had already opened her mouth, but it seemed that she was able to somewhat restrain herself, changing her answer at the last moment to instead nod, the movement making the snow that had gathered in her hair fall to the ground.</p>
<p>They walked like that for what felt like hours, Midna occasionally looking at Zelda out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge when the silence would be too much for the princess. But, sending equal parts joy and disappointment through her, it seemed that Zelda had finally understood, for not only did she not try to talk to her again, Midna could see how she was attempting to imitate her way of moving, trying to avoid stepping on the freshly fallen snow. By all means, it should have impressed her, and maybe it was simply the fact that no matter what might happen around her, Midna could not forget about the fact that, despite what it might look like as she walked next to her with snow in her hair, Zelda was still a princess, but she could not keep herself from feeling a bit annoyed that Zelda had finally learnt how to stay silent.</p>
<p>The sight of something grey moving past the trees to her right was a welcome distraction from her thoughts.</p>
<p>Immediately halting, Midna brought her index finger to her lips, making sure that Zelda had understood the order before she motioned towards the wolf that seemed to search for something in the frozen ground.<br/>
“Look,” she breathed, “that is why we try not to make too much noise. It will keep the wolves from attacking us.”</p>
<p>The words had their intended effect, Zelda instantly reaching out to grab her arm, unable to hide the anxious tone to her words as she spoke. “Attack us? But you have your gun, right? You will protect us, won’t you?”</p>
<p>The only reason Midna did not bother to turn around to once more inform her that no matter what Zelda might think, she was not some kind of guard, that she had not gone with her to keep her from dying out here, that the only reason she was currently out here, feeling like her fingers were about to turn blue, was that Zelda would inevitably have made enough noise to let the soldiers find her if she was alone, was that she already knew what her reaction to that would be, how Zelda would no doubt overreact, making a sound that would catch the wolf’s attention.</p>
<p>Instead, she kept her gaze fixed on the wolf, watching for even the tiniest sign that it might have spotted them as she whispered to Zelda. “Everything will be fine, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>But of course now was the moment where Midna’s wish of making Zelda see how the forest was not a place that would try to protect came true, for rather than calming down, Zelda only tightened her grip around her arm. “But you still have your gun; you know how to use it, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Of course I have my gun, but I am not going to waste ammunition on a wolf. Unlike the Hyrulean soldiers, it is not going to bother trying to attack us as long as we do not provoke it. No, these bullets are for soldiers, not wolves that are just trying to make it through the winter like the rest of us.”</p>
<p>At least, Zelda did not try to defend herself, instead looking down at her boots. “I am sorry, I didn’t meant to—”</p>
<p>“No, it is fine. I didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh.” why was she apologising? Why was she standing here acting like it was not perfectly reasonable to let some spoilt princess know that they did not waste bullets here, that killing was not something they found particularly fun? But although Midna would have loved to stay quiet and listen as Zelda would find herself struggling to find the words, she did not stop. “It is just… killing, even if you just shoot a wolf and you know that it will not suffer much, it is not pleasant.” clearing her throat, Midna forced herself not to cry. “Besides, it is too heavy for us to take it back to the base, so even if I wasted a bullet, we don’t have any knives, so we would have to leave it out here, which, combined with the sound of the gunshot, might be enough to catch the attention of any nearby patrols.”</p>
<p>The wolf’s ears twitched, the animal instantly turning its head to look at a spot to their left, pricking up its ears, almost like it had heard something.</p>
<p>Shooting a glance towards Zelda, Midna reached for her gun, already trying to decide whether she was worrying over nothing, if the wolf had perhaps only noticed the presence of a deer close to them, or if she had perhaps been a bit too quick to claim that they did not waste bullets on wolves.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” she whispered to the animal as she stepped in front of Zelda, trying her best to make sure that, should the worst thing happen, she would be able to aim at the wolf within seconds without having to fear Zelda being in the way.</p>
<p>The words had barely left her mouth before she heard it. The familiar sound, muffled and only audible to those who knew what to listen for, of an airship cutting through the air, small enough to move forward quickly and still large enough to be able to support more than one person. In other words, it was the perfect ship for soldiers and spies to use when they wanted to sneak up to their target without them noticing before it was too late for them to do much more than to try to prepare for an attack. A single look over at Zelda, standing there with snow in her hair, an uncertain smile already tucking at the corners of her lips, and with her open hands showing how she was unarmed, coupled with the feeling of the single gun against her hip was enough for Midna to know that they did not stand a chance if they were spotted.</p>
<p>“Don’t say anything!” she hissed the words, already moving forward towards Zelda, bringing a hand over her mouth as she threw herself to the ground, dragging Zelda down with her. Hearing how Zelda struggled to force out a sound, no doubt to ask her what she was doing, Midna tightened her grip a little more, heart beating wildly in her chest as she hoped that the soldiers aboard the ship had not been able to spot them, that the snow falling from above would provide them with enough cover to allow them to hide, to not attract any attention against the white background of the forest floor.</p>
<p>The seconds passed, Zelda finally relaxing, seemingly realising that Midna would not let go, and yet, Midna did not dare to move, too scared that even the slightest change would alert the soldiers above them to the fact that the princess was right there. So, forcing herself to control her breathing, trying her best to not let it speed up even as her heart begged her for more oxygen, preparing her body for a desperate escape attempt that she already knew would lead to her death, Midna counted to a hundred and then repeated the process twice before slowly, muscles still tense and ready to act at a moment’s notice, letting go of Zelda.</p>
<p>The moment she was free to move, Zelda rolled away from her, standing up and trying to brush the snow off her clothes before glaring down at her. “What was that for?” she asked, the fire returning to her eyes as Midna slowly pushed herself up.</p>
<p>“Now is not the time for explanations—we have to get back to the base immediately!” when Zelda continued to look at her, darting a quick look towards her hip where right hand that was still resting on the gun, Midna made a quick decision and reached out to take her hand. “Come! Trust me, we cannot stay here any longer!” that made Zelda wake up, and as she nodded once, taking her hand, Midna could not have cared less about the reasons for it, how Zelda would surely not have trusted her that easily had it not been for her belief that she was a righteous rebel, the relief that they would not have to waste any more time drowning out everything else.</p>
<p>They sprinted back towards the mountain. Around her, Midna could hear how several other airships joined the first one, the noise of the steam engines filling her ears while the branches slapped her across the face as she rushed through the forest. Forcing herself not to slow down for even a moment, not to register the way her legs felt like they were burning, Midna heard how Zelda struggled to keep up, but right then, none of that mattered. As long as she did not lose her grip around Zelda’s wrist, it would mean that they would survive. A few scratches and the pain that flared up, making it feel like she was burning, as a particularly heavy branch that almost seemed to appear out of nowhere hit her across the right side of her face were temporary, but the consequences of Ganondorf discovering the location of the base would mean the destruction of everything she knew, so even as her lungs began to burn and she heard Zelda gasp for breath, Midna did not allow herself to even consider slowing down.</p>
<p>A sharp pull, and the next moment, Midna felt Zelda’s hand slipping out of her grasp, and though she knew that she should have abandoned her—she was the princess, she would be fine—Midna dug her heels into the snow, bringing herself to a sudden stop.</p>
<p>Already as she twirled around, she knew what had happened. Seeing Zelda there, sprawled out on the ground and looking like it took everything tough in her to keep herself from crying as she look back towards her foot only confirmed it.</p>
<p>“My ankle.” Zelda let out a little, broken sound that became a sob halfway through. “Something happened.”</p>
<p>It felt almost like she was not there, that she was watching someone else reach out to offer Zelda her hand, listening to someone else speak, and had it not been for the sound of her heartbeat ringing in her ears, Midna might have wanted to believe that this was not really happening. But it was, and the person clutching Zelda’s hand as she tried to help her stand up again was really her, the person who shot Zelda’s ankle a quick glance, seeing the awkward angle and how even the tiniest amount of pressure applied to it made Zelda wince, was really her.</p>
<p>“It will be fine; I just think you sprained it,” Midna said, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking, “come, we have to continue.”</p>
<p>Zelda did not answer, and with how she looked like the only thing she was focused on was clenching her teeth, Midna doubted she would have been able to even if she had made an attempt.</p>
<p>They moved forward, but it was so slow that Midna could not help but wonder if they were perhaps wasting time. As she walked there, one arm around Zelda’s waist and the other on her shoulder, allowing Zelda to at once place most on her weight on Midna while gripping her arm so tightly that Midna could feel the bruises forming, the option of leaving her there, doing what she had to do to keep the base safe, seemed more tempting than her meals during the last weeks of winter. But no matter how many times Midna tried to argue for throwing Zelda to the side and sprinting away, there was a little voice in the back of her mind, a voice that sounded so much like Zelda when she tried to insist that she was a hero that Midna wanted to scream, somehow keeping her from doing exactly that every time.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that Midna could not recall having ever been forced to move so slowly in her life, little by little, the forest began to clear around them, the greens and whites making way for the greys and whites of the mountain that was all that stood between them and the painful death that would no doubt meet them if Ganondorf ever were to find out about the fortress.</p>
<p>“We are almost there,” Midna whispered, “just a little more and then we will be back at the base.”</p>
<p>With how Zelda looked like she was seconds away from passing out, her face having becoming deathly pale during the last few minutes, Midna was not sure if she had even heard her, but as she began to move forward, making sure to keep Zelda to her left to ensure that, even if she would lose her grip on her, she would not fall from the tiny path taking them up to the entrance, she did move a little. It was not much, not by any means, barely more than her attempting to drag her feet over the snow and pebbles beneath them, but it was enough to let Midna know that she was still alive.</p>
<p>The fight to make it up the mountain was the worst thing she had ever experienced. The moment when she could feel how the combination of her sweaty palms and the fact that her hands were becoming numb made Zelda slip out of her grip for a moment, the split second before she was able to wrap her arms around her, making sure that she did not fall, was almost able to compete with the one time she had thought she heard the line above her snap while being pulled back aboard the Shadow, and when Midna finally covered the last few metres, taking both of them into the hangar, all she could do was to crumble and fall to the floor, simply lying there next to Zelda as she tried her best to keep her lungs within her body even though it felt like they were about to escape from her as she fought to take in just a bit more air.</p>
<p>But they were not safe yet, so although every last part of her ached, Midna forced herself to stand back up, summoning the last bit of strength from a place she did not even know she possessed to be able to totter over to the crank. Closing her hand around the handle, it felt like it was the only thing keeping her from falling over as she looked towards the other end of the hangar, begging anyone who could hear her for there to be someone nearby.</p>
<p>It appeared that someone had heard her prayer, for Midna was just barely able to make out three blurry figures standing only a few metres away from the Shadow.</p>
<p>“Someone…” she gasped, struggling to make it through the sentence. “Go find someone… need help… closing the gates.”</p>
<p>They left immediately, sprinting towards the corridor to Midna’s left, and as she struggled to recover her balance, placing all her weight on the crank and hoping that it would not be what would break it, she could not have been more grateful for the fact that they had acted without questions.</p>
<p>They must have told that she had mentioned the gates, for it did not feel like much more than a second had passed before the sound of footsteps filled the hangar, the familiar shade of green telling her that the person sprinting towards her was Link.</p>
<p>“Midna!” she could not see his face, but the panic in his voice and the way he instantly reached out to offer her his arm to lean on made it so that she might as well have. “What has happened? Why is Zelda—”</p>
<p>“Not now!” Midna brushed the questions aside, nodding towards the other end of the room. “We have to close the gates!”</p>
<p>As her vision slowly began to clear, Midna saw how Link glanced back and forth between her, Zelda, and then finally the other crank, the worry she could feel in her stomach clearly reflected in the way he looked down at her, placing a hand on her shoulder to keep her upright as he spoke. “But the amount of coal… Midna, we might not be able to open them again.”</p>
<p>Shaking her head, Midna used the slight vision she could feel return to her to make sure she looked directly into Link’s eyes. “There are airships out there. Not just the large ones, but the smaller ones as well. Link, I—the last time I saw airships like the ones out there was back in Ordon Village. We have to close the gates, then we can begin to worry about other things. Right now, we have to make sure we will even get the chance to have a later.”</p>
<p>Link did not say anything, instead standing up so suddenly that, despite how Midna was still gripping the crank like her life depended on it, she could still feel how the task of trying to support herself was almost enough to make her fall to the floor, only able to somehow recover her balance by using her stubbornness as energy.</p>
<p>Even as she saw the rest of the residents coming out to join them, the hangar was silent as the grave as Link sprinted over to reach the other crank.</p>
<p>The screech of metal brushing against metal was at once horrifying and a relief, but as Midna felt how the mountain shook around her as the gate began to lover, she was barely able to focus on anything other than continuing to breathe, continuing to pour every last bit of strength left in her into the task of turning the crank, making sure that, centimetre by painful centimetre, the gate reached the floor, sliding into place with a thunderous crash, blocking out the sunlight and leaving them in almost total darkness, the only bit of light being what came from the corridors towards the back of the room.</p>
<p>Almost like they had turned on a switch, the sound of panic filled the air, Midna recognising the voice begging for his mother to come find him as Colin’s but not being able to do much more than to try her best not to fall over as she let go of the crank. Around her, Midna could hear how someone, the loud voice telling her that it was most likely Rusl, tried their best to tell everyone to calm down, but it did not seem to do much as even those who had been able to remain at least somewhat calm began to join the rest in worrying about what the closed gate would mean.</p>
<p>For once grateful that the lack of light meant that she did at least not have to close her eyes to keep the headache forming behind her eyes from becoming worse, Midna tried her best not to let her thoughts dwell on that exact subject. Either they would have coal enough to allow the steam engine to lift up the gate again or they would be trapped inside the mountain. No amounts of worrying would change that, and if she was going to die in here, Midna refused to spend her last days fearing the end.</p>
<p>“Everyone!” Rusl cut through the noise, and as Midna tried to determine the direction of the sound of his voice, she heard how the rest of the base slowly began to realise that they were not going to die just yet, allowing Rusl to continue. “We need to remain calm. Now, does anyone know what happened? Who closed the gates?”</p>
<p>The last words were pronounced with a tone not unlike ice in temperature, but after having been outside in the winter, having at once felt like she was about to combust and like she was about to turn to ice, that was not something that scared Midna anymore, and so, reminding herself that she had only done what had been necessary, she raised her hand, the instinct reaching her brain before the fact that no one would be able to see her in the darkness did.</p>
<p>Glad that the lack of light was sure to hide both her mistake as well as the way the warmth in her cheeks felt like it should have been enough to burn her alive, Midna cleared her throat. “I did. I had reason to believe that Hyrulean forces would have been able to find out about this base if I did not act immediately, so I ordered Link to help me close the gates. I take the responsibility for my decision and the consequences that might arise.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed her statement, Midna could not tell if the fact that the footsteps coming closer to her sounded much louder than she had expected was due to her other senses trying to make up for the lack of light or if it was perhaps more closely connected to the fact that her decision might very well have signed their death warrant even if it had all been done to delay exactly that.</p>
<p>Despite the darkness, Midna could have sworn that she saw Rusl come to a stop in front of her, moving, almost like he wanted to reach out towards her to make sure she was all right, but stopping the motion halfway through to instead clear his throat, the sound of it feeling almost eerie in the silence. “Do you think that they might still be in the area?” Rusl’s asked quietly, the question barely loud enough for Midna to be able to understand it.</p>
<p>Remembering the panic that even the act of closing the gates had elicited, it was not difficult for Midna to guess the reasons for that. Making sure that her own voice was barely more than a whisper, she answered. “Yes. I was only able to spot them the last moment before they would have been right above us, and although Zelda and I made our way back as quickly as we possibly could, they might very well have been able to land the airships and begin to search for signs of anyone living here. No matter what, I know that they were too purposeful for this to have been just another patrol—Ganondorf would not waste men and ships like this if that was the case.”</p>
<p>As Rusl turned around, Midna could have sworn that she heard him mumble something to himself, but the next moment, he interrupted her thoughts, speaking loudly and quickly, his tone letting everyone know that now was not the moment to object to the plan. “Everyone, there are reasons to believe that the king might be aware of our general location.” instantly, worried murmurs filled the hangar, but Rusl cut through them. “We don’t know anything yet, but let us assume that the worst has happened and he has somehow received information about this base and take the proper precautions. I want everyone to go to the dining hall immediately. Take anything you think you might be able to use as a weapon, but make sure not to panic. As long as we remain calm, everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>But no matter how good Rusl might have been at sounding like it was all some minor thing, speaking like the fifty people around him, most of whom could somewhat aim a gun at a target at best and had never even tried to touch a weapon at worst, could honestly expect to stand a chance against the soldiers if they had really found out about the base, it would never have been enough to make the growing sense of dread that grew around Midna’s heart, soon infecting every last bit of her soul, disappear.</p>
<p>This was it. All the years they had spent working together, living together, and it would all end like this, with them being trapped inside a mountain while they waited for Ganondorf’s men to find the entrance. Despite the weight of the gate, Midna was not foolish enough to think that it would be more than a minor inconvenience for a well-equipped battalion. This was really where it was going to end. Already, she could feel how her breathing grew more erratic, not sending nearly enough air into her lungs, or perhaps what she was experiencing was really just the effects of the Hyrulean forces having spotted the air ducts at the peak of the mountain and decided that there was no need to waste resources trying to force open the base when they could simply make the ones inside it do all the work for them.</p>
<p>She was only vaguely aware of how someone walked over to her, crouching down to sit next to where she had collapsed to the ground, trying her best to make herself find the strength to follow Rusl’s instructions and head towards the dining hall to at least be able to take comfort from the fact that she would not have to die alone.</p>
<p>And then Link had pulled had up from the floor, bringing her into an embrace so tight that she did not have to say anything to know that he had forgiven her for everything that had passed between them before. Stroking her hair, the repetitive movement making her heart feel somewhat normal again, Link began to pull her up from the floor, not once stopping the flow of mumbled words to encourage her. “Everything is going to be all right,” he whispered, and despite the logical part of her telling her that he had no way of knowing that, Midna found herself willing to believe it, to give the responsibility of making sure that everything would be all right to someone else, “just come with me, then we will go to the dining hall along with the others.”</p>
<p>“Ilia—” Midna began, at once feeling sick at the thought of her last moments with her friend having been spent accusing her of planning to leave her.</p>
<p>“She is fine. She and Bo are should already be in the dining hall—I think I saw them entering the hangar from that direction just before the gate closed, and except for you and Zelda, no one else was outside the base at the time.”</p>
<p>Zelda.</p>
<p>At once, Midna’s brain felt like it woke up once more, the clouds disappearing from her mind to allow her to focus on nothing else but the fact that she could not remember having seen Zelda move since she had let her fall to the floor.</p>
<p>Link must have taken her attempt at pushing herself away from him as a sign that she was about to try to find a way to head back outside, as futile as such a thing would have been, for as Midna tried to move to the side, trying to get to where she thought Zelda should be, he quickly put an arm around her shoulders, beginning to lead her in the opposite direction, towards the dining hall.</p>
<p>“No, wait,” Midna mumbled, shoving his arm away, hearing how her voice grew stronger as the thought of leaving Zelda behind gave her new energy, “Zelda, I think she passed out earlier; we have to find her!”</p>
<p>Letting go of her, Link immediately began to help her move across the floor, Midna trying her best to walk as slowly as the ever-present sense of doom allowed her to do in an attempt at not accidentally ending up kicking Zelda as she used the tip of her boots to search for her.</p>
<p>“Here.” Link hissed the word from somewhere to her right, and she must have made more noise than she thought, for as Midna tried to make her way over to him, he reached out, fumbling for her hand for a moment before pulling her closer, guiding her towards a spot on the floor.</p>
<p>Zelda was indeed still lying there. Midna knew that much the moment she brushed against her shoulder and felt how the melted snow had drenched both her hair and clothes.</p>
<p>Trying her best not to let her mind wander to any scenarios trying to explain why Zelda felt colder than ice as she brushed against her face, Midna grabbed her by the shoulders, whispering her name as loudly as she dared while shaking her. “Zelda, we have to go to the dining room now. Come on, you know that I am not going to carry you all the way over there”</p>
<p>She did not receive and answer, but Midna supposed that she should have expected for that to be the case. Really, she had no right to sound as scared as she did as she turned towards Link, knowing full well that even the darkness would not be enough to hide how she was shaking, not with how close they were sitting to one another, Midna hearing how the panic made its way to her voice as she spoke. “We have to move her.”</p>
<p>If the soldiers were to enter the base only to find their princess lying on the floor, Midna did not dare to imagine what would happen. Her title of princess would surely be enough to save Zelda, but for the rest of them, Midna tried her best not to imagine it. However, as much as she tried to keep her mind a blank page, she could not escape the sound of Zelda making her promise not to send her back to the castle, all but begging her to let her stay, the memory of how she had looked like she was about to cry when Midna finally gave in.</p>
<p>Luckily, Link soon pulled her back to the moment, and as horrible as the present was right then, Midna could not have been more grateful for that.</p>
<p>“If you grab her arms, I will take her legs.”</p>
<p>“Sure. Just make sure that you are careful—I think she sprained her ankle while we ran back to the base.”</p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“Her left. Or, well, I think it was her left—it all happened so quickly.”</p>
<p>Even with her muscles feeling like they had melted along with the snow while they had sprinted through the forests and with the added weight that Zelda’s coat and the water it had absorbed was in that moment, the adrenaline still made it feel like she barely weighed more than one of the rabbits that Rusl had once shown her how to catch as Midna and Link began to move through the darkness, walking as slowly as they were able to with the threat of the soldiers finding the entrance every moment hanging above their heads.</p>
<p>It felt like the distance between the entrance and the dining hall only became longer the more they walked, but at last the light escaping through the tiny space between the closed doors was enough for Midna to be able to look down at Zelda. The relief that followed the sight of her chest moving in time with her own breathing was stronger than it had any right to be, but right then, Midna could not have cared less. All that mattered was the fact that Rusl came to open the doors a moment after she had knocked, the fear on his face disappearing the moment he saw the three of them standing outside.</p>
<p>“Yes, they are here,” he yelled into the room, and as Midna leant to the side, she could see where Uli had sat down in a chair with Colin, clearly struggling to make him stop crying. But even then, the relief on her face as she looked over at her was almost enough to make Midna wish that she was able to just blindly believe that the adults would be able to protect her from anything the same way Colin might.</p>
<p>Still, as Uli came over to help carry Zelda to a vacant chair before turning to look at her ankle, Rusl closing the doors behind them, placing the solid piece of metal over the handles to provide them with the comfort of the lie that that they might be safe, Midna was almost able to imagine that nothing would happen, that they would miraculously be able to leave in the morning to find all the airships gone, the sky once more being a brilliant blue with the clouds serving as reminders that, no matter what, as long as she had her ship, she would always be able to use the freedom they represented to shield her from the world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And with that, the period of relative peace Midna was able to enjoy is brought to a sudden end, making them lack both food and coal. In other words, it is not going great for them right now.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zelda did not wake up until the candles had all but disappeared, completely devoured by the fire.</p>
<p>Sitting around the long table where they had pushed the individual tables together seemingly out of some kind of shared conviction that that would be enough to shield them from the wrath of the king when he found them, Midna might have missed the exact moment where Zelda began to stir, had it not been for how she was sitting right next to her. But as it was, Midna was not entirely sure whether she was the first one to notice, or if the honour of that title belonged to Uli who had been about to assess the condition of Zelda’s ankle, when Zelda reached up to rub the heels of her hands against her eyes.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Zelda turned to look at her, and although she was awake, the slightly clouded look in her eyes was enough for Midna to know that, while she might technically look at her it, did not necessarily mean that she truly saw her. “What is going on?”</p>
<p>In hushed whispers, trying her best not to upset the children who seemed to have flocked to Uli, having apparently decided that with how she was trying to help Zelda, she would also help them, Midna explained what had happened. Maybe it was just yet another reminder of how this, the fact that the entire mountain might come crashing down above them if Ganondorf decided not to bother confirming that they really were there and instead send his fleet to take care of the situation, was the scariest thing Zelda had ever been forced to experience, but as Midna reached the end of recounting how she had passed out, Zelda seemed more awake, more alert than ever before.</p>
<p>Reaching out to clasp Midna’s hand, Zelda leant in, an intensity burning in her eyes. “Is there anything I can do to help right now?”</p>
<p>“Yes, there is.” Uli looked up from where she was trying to reapply the bandages around her ankle. “You can try to sit still. It is not that easy for me to make sure that that this will stay in place when you are moving around.” as Zelda glanced down at her, a look of surprise spreading across her face, Midna could tell the exact moment when Uli decided that Zelda simply did not know better from how she shook her head, her smile becoming a bit less strained and tired as she continued. “Midna said you injured your ankle, and from the look of it, I would say that she was right.” she must have noticed the way Zelda’s eyes widened in response to that, for, patting her knee, Uli’s voice changed, become more like the tone she used when consoling Colin. “But don’t worry; it looks like it was just sprained. Try not to move around on it too much and it will be fine within a couple of weeks.”</p>
<p>Although Zelda nodded and mumbled a quick thankyou, when she spoke, it was Midna she was looking at. “I remember you carrying me back to the base.” both her voice and face were blank, not revealing any emotions. “Is that true or was my mind just imagining things?”</p>
<p>“Well, I wouldn’t quite say that I carried you, but, yes, I did help you get back to the base.” already sensing how Zelda was about to prepare yet another speech to thank her for it, to try to convince her that she was a better, more selfless person than she really was, Midna hurried to interrupt her attempt at responding. “You know, it was not like I could just leave you there, not when I knew that the soldiers would be sure to find you sooner or later. Leaving the princess to die in the forest right next to your secret hideout is not exactly the best idea when you are trying not to get killed by the king, so yeah, what can I say?” the chuckle she forced out sounded fake, too shrill and high. “I made sure you came back with me, even though it felt like I was about to collapse multiple times. You are welcome, by the way.”</p>
<p>If she had hoped that it would finally be what made Zelda stop insisting on viewing her as some kind of hero, Midna would have been disappointed, for Zelda simply brushed her hair out of her face with a laugh. “Well, in that case, I am glad that I mattered enough for you to bother to make sure that I made it back with you.” before Midna got the chance to think of anything to say, Zelda had turned her attention back towards Uli, sending her a smile so blinding that Midna was sure it was some kind of secret she had been taught by her tutors, a way for her to use her beauty to distract her opponents from the discussion between them. “Is there anything I can help you with, Uli?”</p>
<p>Sending a brief glance towards the corner of the room where it seemed that Talo, Malo and Beth had abandoned worrying about whether or not they should die to instead play what looked like it was some kind of game, before looking back down at where Colin was sitting on the floor right next to her, looking like he was so distraught, the look in his eyes being distant and his breath uneven, that he might as well not have heard anything of what they were saying, Uli nodded. “If you could try to help Colin… well feel even a little bit better really, then I would be grateful.”</p>
<p>“Of course!” somehow, Zelda was able to make it sound like she was even looking forward to it, having already jumped off of her chair, Midna barely being able to react in time, reaching out to catch her just as her left leg buckled beneath her, making Zelda fall over towards her. “Sorry,” Zelda laughed, already moving to stand up again and brushing off Uli’s worries about the ankle perhaps calling for her to sit still for a bit longer, “I should have been more careful.”</p>
<p>Midna watched as Zelda continued over to crouch down next to Colin on the floor, halfway prepared to see her have to give up the moment it would become clear to her that she would not be able to succeed in making Colin calm down after he had just seen them close the gate and hurry into the dining hall to pretend that there might still be hope left even if the king found them. But, and as much as Midna tried to, she was not able to dismiss it as being another sign of her education and the tutors at the castle rather than the result of Zelda herself, it only took Zelda a few minutes to make Colin look up at her, somehow even managing to bring a smile to his face.</p>
<p>“How is she doing that?” Midna asked, leaning over towards Uli to make sure that Zelda would not hear the hushed question.</p>
<p>But it would appear that Uli had found herself asking the very same thing, for she simply shrugged. “I don’t know, but as long as it is enough to make my son stop worrying about what is going to happen and tell me about how he does not want for us all to die, I don’t really care.”</p>
<p>However, as Midna saw how Zelda was able to make Colin join her as she walked over to sit down next to Talo, Malo, and Beth, the two of them soon participating in the game, she could not deny the fact that she wanted to know her secret. After all, despite how many years they had known each other, nothing she had ever tried to make Colin calm down when he was scared had ever seemed to have worked even half as well as what it was that Zelda had told him. Still, as much as she wanted answers, the question was only able to hold her attention for so long, and as the minutes turned to hours, and the hours became days, Midna found her brain struggling to think of anything other than whether or not the next moment would be her last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the end, they survived. Although it did not feel much like surviving when Rusl declared that they had to risk the soldiers simply waiting for them when they had all been forced to gather around the flickering flame of the last candle, as she followed along behind Rusl and the rest of the volunteers, holding up the candle to let it provide as much light as it possibly could, they had survived somehow.</p>
<p>Midna’s stomach rumbled as Rusl reached out to open up the hatch towards the bottom of the gate, the tiny opening to the outside world providing them with a bit of natural light. The worst part of it was that, despite her stomach insisting that she might somehow be able to use the few centimetres of space between the gate and the floor to force her way out of the base, going to find something to eat, she knew that it was still as far from certain whether or not they could even open up the gates as it could be. For now, the question of whether they would be left to a slow death, having to watch as their supplies dwindled day by day, or if they might just be able to open the gate again, would be entirely up to the amount of coal currently lying at the bottom of the crate in the corner of the room, and although Midna’s brain, heavily aided by how her stomach was screaming for her to prove that they would be able to head out to find more food, was trying its best to make up alternate escape routes—if she learnt how to climb up vertical walls, if she was able to squeeze through the tiny holes in the side of the mountain, she could utilise the air ducts, make her way out through them—she knew that she was just as anxious as everyone else when Rusl moved over to the crate, holding the candle up above his head as he peeked into it.</p>
<p>“I think we might have enough.”</p>
<p>The collective sigh of relief that, for some of them, was followed by tears had to be the best sound in the world, good enough to not only make Midna tolerate how Zelda threw her arms around her neck, bringing her into a surprisingly strong hug for someone her size who also had a sprained ankle to watch out for, but to also make her hug her back. For once, the fact that, if the soldiers had found them, Midna was sure that Zelda would have been just fine, that the only danger she had ever had to endure along with them was that of the gate not opening again, did not matter.</p>
<p>As Rusl stood there, the flames casting shadows across his face as he shot them a victorious grin, he almost seemed like the hero of old and the gods of the world on the other side of their reality that the governess had often liked to tell the story about, and yet, he was still able to exceed even that as he lifted up the candle, letting the light from the flame and the light from behind frame him. “Who will help me hold this,” he waved the candle, the flame making the shadows on the walls dance, “while I take the coal to the engine room?”</p>
<p>Around her, Midna could see how he would not struggle to find a volunteer, people offering to go along with him seemingly for no other reason but to witness the moment the ancient machinery would spring to life, soon finding the strength to lift up the gate and once more hold it above them all. But for once, she was not exactly in a hurry to go with them, instead remaining where she was as the sound of several pieces of metal that might easily be several decades older than her all moving at once made the room echo with applause and laughs as it was finally clear that not only would they not be trapped inside the base, they would be able to feel the sun again, for, with the strength and technology of the destroyed military of the Twilight Realm, not even the tonnes of stone, wood, and metal that made up the gate was able to remain where it was.</p>
<p>However, the relief was short-lived as the sight of the rays of the sun hitting the hull of her ship forced Midna to admit that, though she might have made the right choice at the time, just because they had had enough coal to lift the gates, it would not necessarily mean that they had enough to let her ship take to the skies again.</p>
<p>Link must have realised the same, for as Midna gently unwrapped herself from Zelda’s embrace, it only took a few seconds before he was at her side, worry apparent in his eyes.</p>
<p>“The ship,” he whispered, “will it be able to…?”</p>
<p>He let the sentence trail off, and Midna could easily see why. Saying that there was a risk that it might not be the case, acknowledging it, felt almost like it would make it real, so she made sure to shake her head, not even entertaining the idea. “No. The Shadow is stubborn. I am sure that she will be able to stay in the air for at least another couple of days with the coal that is already in there.” but Midna could hear how her voice did not at all sound as confident as she would have liked to pretend she was as she let Zelda drag her towards where the rest of the residents were heading towards the corridor leading to the engine room to congratulate Rusl.</p>
<p>Still, the issue of whether they would be able to leave the base to take back more coal would have to wait for later, or at least that was what Midna had every intention of letting it do until the moment where she could see Link’s question reflected in Rusl’s eyes as he turned around to look up at her, not uttering a word that would risk making the room descend into panic again.</p>
<p>Despite how Midna did her very best to not look like she doubted herself as she nodded, pouring as much confidence as she could find into the gesture, she could already feel how her ship was going to remain stuck forever if she had overestimated the amount of coal that was still left on it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I could come with you, you know. I might not be able to move as quickly as the rest of you, but if nothing else, having me with you would make for a good diversion.”</p>
<p>From where she was standing on the deck of the ship, trying to make sure that everything was ready to minimise the amount of time they would spend in the air, trying her best not to waste coal, Midna could still see the stubborn expression on Zelda’s face even with how she was standing on the ground, shouting the words up at her. She had halfway hoped that Zelda would have forgot about her attempts at making them bring her along after she had denied the possibility of that ever happening the moment she had first stepped out of the meeting room to inform her of the decision they had reached to only bring the best along for their next mission, but with how Zelda did not exactly sound like she would stop arguing anytime soon, Midna supposed she had been a bit too optimistic back then. But then again, when had Zelda ever shown any signs of being able to stop, especially when seeing the chance of being able to pretend to be a rebel?</p>
<p>All things considered, Midna knew that the amused tone to her words was not just something she was imagining as she leant over the handrail, hoping that the distance would be enough to hide a smile that she could not keep bottled up any longer. “Aren’t you supposed to be careful with your foot?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but Uli told me that it would only be a few weeks of me having to sit still.” the way Zelda said it, she almost made it sound like she really had given the ankle a few weeks to heal rather than barely five days. “So I am sure it will be fine. Besides, I know that I will be able to do far more if you let me come with you than I can here.”</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” Midna let her voice rise a bit, and although she tried her best to remember how she had been able to show her annoyance even without having to look at Zelda, she could hear that, rather than making it sound like she wanted for Zelda to stay quiet and stop interrupting her, it sounded more like she was seconds away from bursting out laughing as she continued. “Well, then tell me, Princess, how do you think you will be able to help us? Because, the way I see it, taking you along with us will only mean that we will have to look out for you and make sure you won’t be hurt.”</p>
<p>“I know how to shoot.”</p>
<p>The answer reached her, full of confidence, and for a moment, Midna was glad that the distance between them might be enough to hide her surprise as she did her best not to ask just when a princess had learnt how to shoot.</p>
<p>But even though she had not asked, Zelda seemingly still felt the need to explain, for Midna could hear the laughter in her voice as she looked down at her. “Ashei taught me how to—just to make sure that I would be able to defend myself, should I ever find myself in a situation where she would not be able to save me.”</p>
<p>That, Midna could understand. Although allowing the princess to know how to handle a gun was not exactly something she would have expected from Ganondorf, when Zelda put it that way, it did make an awful lot of sense.</p>
<p>Losing herself in her thoughts for a moment, pondering the question of whether or not the queen of the Twilight Realm had known how to do the same back when the Hyrulean forces had made their way to the castle, if it would have changed her decision to flee her country if she had been able to, at the very least, know that she would die fighting, Midna almost failed to hear the first few words of the next sentence, having to shake her head to make herself focus on what Zelda was saying again.</p>
<p>“And I am sure that seeing their princess would make them slow down for a moment, not necessarily much, but it might mean the difference between escaping and being captured.”</p>
<p>She was not wrong. As much as Midna would have liked to tell her that every little part of her plan would never be able to work in the real world, she had to admit that, although naïve, it was not the worst idea she had ever heard, or at least it seemed much more realistic than the time they had thought about using wood to fuel the steam engines, somehow managing to not only underestimate the sheer amount of trees they would have to cut down, but also the difficulty of getting the logs back up to the base. But that was not exactly a difficult thing to achieve, not with how Midna still had scars in the palm of her left hand where she had burnt herself when the log had slipped away from her, rolling all the way to the foot of the mountain, making the rope they had tied around it burn red stripes into her hands, so the simple fact that it was not an even worse idea did not mean that it was good.</p>
<p>By all means, Midna should have been able to easily lean out over the handrail and yell that at Zelda, but even as she tried to do that, she could hear how she sounded tired more than anything else. “I think you are forgetting that it will not be a matter of escape or capture if it comes to that. We either die survive, and trust me when I tell you that no matter how good you might think you are with a gun, you do not want to be in that situation where you have to make a split-second decision to shoot someone else to save yourself. Have you even had to do that before? Did Ashei teach you how to aim at another person and pull the trigger while knowing that they will die if you did?”</p>
<p>The answer came a few moments late, Zelda sounding like she already knew that she would have to admit defeat as she mumbled something inaudible, only speaking a bit louder as Midna gestured towards her ear. “No, I have not. But I am sure I could do it if it was to save someone else.”</p>
<p>“Sure.” for some reason, Midna was not able to deny that idea. “So just wait here and hope that it will not come to that. Besides, we can’t exactly take you with us; it would be the same as outright telling Ganondorf that we kidnapped his daughter.”</p>
<p>She could hear Zelda scoff even from where she was standing, several metres below her. “You didn’t kidnap me—I boarded your ship and made you take me back home to your base. I can have Ashei confirm that if I ever were to be found and brought home.”</p>
<p>“And I am sure that Ganondorf is going to care about any of that when he finds you. I promise you that if he ever manages to locate this base, it will not matter to him whether or not you are here because you wanted to pretend to be some kind of hero, standing up for the downtrodden. No, the only thing that will matter to him will be whether or not he is going to claim that we are simply pirates, or if your presence here will be enough to make us known as kidnappers as well. Also,” Midna frowned slightly, wondering for a moment why she had not thought to ask her before, “what did your captain say to explain to your father how you were able to disappear from right in front of her eyes?” the silence that followed her question told her everything she needed to know. “She told him that we took you, didn’t she?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” everything in Zelda’s voice made it clear that she would have preferred to be able to deny it. “She most likely did. But I am sure that I kind explain it to him, I will just have to… have to…” with every word, it became increasingly clear to Midna that Zelda did not know how to finish that sentence, did not know what she would do if they were caught. Still, it did not keep her from continuing, “I will make sure that he knows who to blame. I promise.”</p>
<p>Something that felt a little too much like guilt filled her as Midna rolled her eyes. Doing her best to ignore it—Zelda would not even have been able to see it—she shrugged. “As chivalrous as that promise is, it will not be enough to save us. Now, you have to stand aside to allow us to manoeuvre this ship through the gates.”</p>
<p>Midna had halfway expected for Zelda to continue arguing, so seeing her bow her head, everything about her body language making certain that Midna knew how disappointed she was, should have been a relief. And Midna supposed that it was, at least partly. But as the ship rose up, the very top of the mainmast barely touching the bottom of the gate as Link gave orders, yelling at them from his spot at the rudder, while battling the wind that enveloped them the moment they left what little protection the mountain had had to offer, she could not ignore the feeling that she should have done something to get the little smile back, to be able to see it again.</p>
<p>And then the euphoria of once more being in the air hit her.</p>
<p>Despite the way the ship moved below her, the keel doing little to stabilise them, as the wind caught her hair, making it fly around her face as Midna struggled to tie it back, the relief of seeing her ship fight alongside them to not let it show how it surely had only a few hours left before the coldness of the air and icy bite of the wind would make the water that flowed through the pipes turn to ice had never felt greater. In that moment, she might almost have been able to ignore the way her stomach turned slightly at the thought of how, if they did not get enough coal, if they did not find a ship in time, if they made any mistake however tiny it might be, it would mean that they would be lucky to even make it back to the base to wait there for a slow death.</p>
<p>But only almost. The hours they spent in the air, using the clouds around them to provide cover, were among the tensest Midna had ever been forced to live through. Walking back and forth across the deck, she could tell that she was not the only one who felt that way, not with how Fado joined her a few moments later, the two of them walking in step. Towards the bow of the Shadow, Midna could see Jaggle sitting on the deck, resting his gun in front of him as he made sure that it was loaded, ready to be used.</p>
<p>In fact, the more Midna thought about it, the only one who seemed to be even somewhat calm was Rusl. Standing at the handrail, looking out at the clouds around them, he might almost have been able to fool her into thinking that he was not worrying at all, had it not been for how she could see him tapping a quick rhythm against the deck, the tip of his boot moving from side to side.</p>
<p>She had only just made the decision to head over to speak with him, to apologise, when the ship appeared, and everything became chaos, every one of them attacking at once without Midna having time to give the order.</p>
<p>For a moment, she thought it might be it, that they finally had luck on their side. Ducking under the arms of the guards the moment she landed on the deck, Midna already knew that they had chosen the right target, the sheer size of the ship and the fact that the merchants had been willing to invest in paying the king to send soldiers to protect their products letting her know that they would find more than just a few crates of apples in the storeroom.</p>
<p>She could not tell if the sheer energy behind their attack was the result of the desperation that had made them agree to plan another mission despite how they might have waited for everyone to have had time to heal had it not been for the fact that time was not exactly a luxury they could afford, or if it had always been present with her having failed to notice it before, but as they rushed forward, Midna could see how the guards were forced to admit that they did not stand a chance within moments. Really, when Midna jumped to the side to avoid the sharp edge of a sword as the guard to her right turned his attention towards her, it felt almost unreal, like there was no one there to stop her from running directly through the group of soldiers, soon finding herself inside the storeroom.</p>
<p>But the crates and shelves that seemed to cover every last centimetre of the floor, the way they had been stacked on top of each other to make room for even more food, were all real, and so was the coal Midna quickly began to throw into her sack, placing it down on the floor in front of her to have her hands free. Within moments, she could hear how Fado and Jaggle joined her, the rest of the crew staying on the deck, now turning around to defend them, keeping the guards from being able to corner them in the storeroom.</p>
<p>Her arms ached as she shoved one last lump of coal into the sack, but she still pulled at the strings to close it, throwing it over her shoulder and quickly fastening it to the side of her waistcoat to make sure she would not be forced to place it down, should a situation where she needed to have her hands free to defend herself arise.</p>
<p>As soon as she stepped onto the deck again, making her way over to where the harnesses dangled a few centimetres above the deck, Rusl giving the order for them to change formations, going from trying to keep back the guards to instead make their way through the ranks once more, Midna should have known that they would not make it. The fact that they had been able to keep the ship in the air for so long, the fact that they had found a ship in time, it was all too much. Sooner or later, the luck that felt almost unreal would slip away from her, she should have known that.</p>
<p>But as she made her way over to fight side by side with Rusl, bringing her gun up to strike one of the guards across the face moments before he would have been able to reach Rusl, making him fall to the deck with a little sigh, it felt almost like they would escape, like they would be able to return to the base at last.</p>
<p>So of course that was also the moment everything began to go wrong.</p>
<p>Reaching out towards the harness, Midna could hear how they gradually lost control of the situation, the task of making sure that the straps were properly tightened being too much to also fend off the guards while fiddling with leather and rope. As much as she tried to hurry, pulling at the different parts of the harness to make sure that, the moment he was given the signal, Link would be able to pull away from the ship, dragging all of them into the clouds around them and then hope that the cover they provided would be enough to shield them from how the guards would no doubt seize the chance to shoot at them, there was a limit to how quickly she could move, even with the adrenaline making her heart beat so rapidly that it felt like it should have jumped out of her chest.</p>
<p>Still, somehow, she was able to both hold onto the sack as she fastened it on the little hook next to her while kicking an advancing soldier who had been about to attack Fado from behind , making him collapse the moment the tip of her booth connected with the hollow of his knee.</p>
<p>Sending her a nod, Fado was finally able to close the last strap. Another person would be safe when they made their escape.</p>
<p>As much as Midna would have liked to say that she didn’t hurry—she didn’t, she would not accept the risk that came with not bothering to make sure that everyone had had time to put on the harness—she could feel how their chance for survival was slipping away from them with every moment they spent aboard the ship, and so, the second she had finished glancing towards each end of the handrail, counting to seven, she raised the gun towards the sky and pulled the trigger.</p>
<p>Midna was not sure what happened first, her hand struggling to hold onto the gun as it was thrown back towards her, or the feeling of the line above her head tightening as Link began to steer the ship in the direction away from the danger, towards their home.</p>
<p>That was when one of the soldiers, a man who seemed to be nearly as tall as her, sprinted towards her, lifting his sword above his head as he prepared to bring it down, her fate waiting for her in the silver glint of the blade.</p>
<p>It felt like the world was brought to a halt around her, all colours fading from her vision as Midna was left unable to do anything other than stare directly at the sword and the way it caught the rays of the sun, shining almost as brightly as a flame as it moved towards her. She should have been scared, frightened even, but as Midna looked up, at once able to see everything and nothing, every little movement in front of her bleeding together, the way the soldier changed his weight around to put as much force as he could muster behind the sword letting the light hit her, she felt strangely calm. The sword was about to hit her, there was nothing she could do to stop it now. Even if she had believed that bringing up the gun, letting metal collide with metal, could change anything, Midna knew that she would barely get the chance to blink again before it would all be over. There was nothing she could do to change what was about to happen, and perhaps that was why the only thought going through her mind in that moment was that at least this would be a new adventure, something she had never experienced before.</p>
<p>But rather than the sharp pain and sudden silence that should have followed the frantic sound of her own heartbeat, something heavy crashed into her from the side, and the next thing Midna knew, the sounds returned, the world beginning to spin again as she fell to the side only for a the line fastened to the back of the harness to pull her across the deck, her head hitting the handrail, making her vision darken for a second as she was thrown into the air, away from both the soldier and the sword.</p>
<p>Trying her best to turn around, to do anything other than fumbling for something to hold onto with her hands finding nothing but air, Midna already knew what she would see as she looked back towards the ship she had just been pulled away from, but even the knowledge of what had happened was not enough to prepare her for the sight.</p>
<p>Rusl was lying on the floor. With how he was still wearing his harness, the line that had been supposed to save him dangling in the air next to Midna, and the way the guard who had been about to attack her was lying on the floor, struggling to move Rusl away from him as he yelled for someone to come help him, to seize the girl, it was clear to her what had happened, as much as it all felt like a scene from her nightmares.</p>
<p>He had sacrificed himself, used himself as an attack by throwing his entire weight at the guard, making him stumble away from her. The sword must have slipped, cutting the line rather than hitting any of them. Had she been a bit more naïve, Midna might have felt relieved, but as she saw the guards regain their sense of unity, rushing over to restrain Rusl, she already knew that it would have been better for him to have died. At least the sword would have granted him a quick and somewhat painless death, given how it was not sentient, did not care about the cause it was being used to strengthen.</p>
<p>It felt like she was left in the air for hours, watching as Rusl slipped away from her, but as she was pulled back over the side of the Shadow, feeling how she struggled to breathe, how the straps seemed to tighten around her chest as she dropped to the floor the moment she was back on the ship, someone coming over to her moments later, hands trying to reach for the clasps to help her escape from the harness, Midna knew that that was not so.</p>
<p>The person next to her reached out for the clasps again, a bit more careful this time. Midna pushed them away, letting out a scream, and for a moment, she could hear how it worked, someone mumbling next to her before calling out for someone to come help them. But Midna didn’t care, not when she should jump over the edge of the ship to dive back and try to get to Rusl.</p>
<p>“Midna, I need you to calm down for a moment. Everything is going to be all right, just breathe.” Link’s face appeared in front of her, and it felt like her heart stopped the moment she looked up at him.</p>
<p>As he sat there, crouching down to try to take her hands, it was apparent how, although he didn’t know exactly what had happened, he was aware of the fact that they would not return home with glorious news of how they had been able to steal enough coal to ensure that the Shadow would be able to fly again.</p>
<p>Midna didn’t cry, she really didn’t. The feeling of water streaming down her face was simply something she was imagining as she looked up at Link, her stomach feeling like it had been replaced with the sack next to her as she realised that she would have to tell him.</p>
<p>“Rusl…” she felt like she was about to choke on the word, but as Link’s eyes grew wide, the look of dawning realisation on his face letting her know that he was already mentally trying to count the number of people standing around them and reaching the conclusion that they were missing one, “he… the guards—I didn’t see them before it was too late, I swear, but he—”</p>
<p>“I know.” Link’s voice sounded broken as he pulled her towards him, the hug feeling like it was more meant for himself than her. “I know.”</p>
<p>But he didn’t. Midna knew that. Link might have understood the fact that Rusl would never come back again, that they had abandoned him back on the ship, but he had not heard the reason for it. She tried to open her mouth, tried making an attempt at telling him how it was because of her that Rusl had felt the need to throw himself at the attackers, using his own life as a way to buy her enough time to escape, but she could not force the words to come to her. Already, she could see how Link would react, how he would change, pulling away from her, his face only betraying him for a fraction of a second, letting her see how he too would reach at the conclusion that, had she just bothered to be a bit more aware of her surroundings, she would easily have been able to avoid the sword without Rusl having to act, before he would try to convince her that it wasn’t her fault and that no one would blame her.</p>
<p>It was that last thought, the knowledge that, no matter how obvious it was to her that she could have prevented all of this, everyone around her would rush to her side to try to defend her, that finally convinced her to close her mouth, keeping the truth about what had happened inside. She knew that it was her fault, her mistake, that had led to Rusl being captured. Now, she would have to live with that.</p>
<p>Pushing Link away from her and ignoring the worry in his eyes, Midna forced herself to stand back up, letting the harness fall to the deck with a thud. “I think I will go to my cabin.” her voice sounded distant, almost like it did not belong to her. “Please, just… let me rest.”</p>
<p>As she walked across the deck, throwing her sack over towards the spot were Fado and Jaggle were trying their best to bring it to the engine room, Midna knew that they would grant her her request. There was still work to do; although it felt like the world had stopped the second she had looked back to see Rusl still aboard the ship, fact was that the steam engine did not care about their grief. It would still require a steady supply of coal to heat up the water if they wanted to remain in the air. Really, she should have stayed to help them, but as she caught a glimpse of the cut line, the empty spot on the deck where Rusl should have laid his harness, all of them making sure that the leather was still intact, Midna knew that she would not be able to stay out there for another second.</p>
<p>The room almost seemed like it was bathed in light as she entered, the sun peeking in through the porthole, feeling almost like it was there only to attack her eyes, making her head hurt. She took care of that, ripping the bedsheet off her bed and throwing it over the window, the metal framing around the porthole catching the fabric, blocking out the light and leaving her in darkness.</p>
<p>She remained there, standing in the middle of the room for what felt like hours. Only vaguely aware of the passage of time with the reminder the sound of her heartbeat gave her, Midna supposed that might also have been the case, but she simply could not bring herself to care. What was time? What had it ever done for her other than giving her the chance to believe that she might finally have found someone she could care about, someone who would not leave her, only to rip the m away from her again?</p>
<p>In that moment, Midna truly could not find the answer to the question. All she knew was that this was the last time she would make the mistake.</p>
<p>The room shook around her, almost making her fall over. As Midna reached out to use the edge of the desk to keep herself standing, she already knew that it was Link who had been giving the task of navigating around the mountain, guiding the ship through the gate and into the hangar, even though the sound of wood and stone brushing over each other and the way the ship hit the ground with a bit more force than what it should have was nothing like the way he was usually able to land the ship so that the change from flying through the air to the lack of movement was barely noticeable.</p>
<p>Running her hands through her hair, Midna forced herself to breathe even as her lungs burnt like she was surrounded by water rather than air. This was it. She might have been able to hide inside her cabin for the hours it had taken to return to the base, but she could not stay in there for the rest of her life. She owed it to Uli and Colin to at least tell them what had happened.</p>
<p>The moment she stepped outside onto the deck, Midna could feel how the rest of the crew turned towards her, the question they all seemed to ask themselves present in the way they looked towards her almost like they were considering reaching out to keep her from walking over to where the rope ladder had already been lowered to the ground. But no one moved , no one said anything, not even Link, so Midna swung her legs over the side of the ship, the stony surface below feeling like it was flying up to greet her rather than it being a matter of her climbing down towards it.</p>
<p>It was not until she was standing on the ground, trying to blink away the tears as she looked at the crowd that had gathered in front of her, searching for Uli and Colin among the residents, that Midna was able to recognise the faces of those she had come to regard as her family over the years again. She didn’t dare to think about what she looked like, but with how the expressions of those in front of her seemed to change the moment they spotted her, the applause dying within moments as glee turned to worry, she would not have needed a mirror to know that she must have looked horrible. But no matter how many times she tried to ignore the tears, tried to stop her vision from becoming blurry, she could not see Uli and Colin anywhere.</p>
<p>Instead, her gaze landed on Zelda, the princess pushing her way towards the front of the crowd.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Zelda stopped in front of her, her eyes flickering from her eyes to her shaking hands and back again. “Has something happened?”</p>
<p>She must have interpreted Midna’s silence as a sign that she had been wounded, for Zelda rushed forwards, letting out a cry that sounded not unlike a gasp as she placed her hand on her cheek, slinging an arm around her waist, clearly thinking that she would have to guide her to the infirmary. Keeping her voice soft, using the exact same tone of voice Midna would have used to calm a deer, keeping it in place long enough for her to move closer, Zelda began to walk back through the crowd, pulling Midna along with her.</p>
<p>And she let her. Although she should have stayed, Midna let Zelda guide her past the faces of the people who all turned around to stare at her, their expressions blurring together until Midna would not have been able to tell exactly who they were even if she had had the strength to look up. It felt almost like she was not moving at all, but with how Zelda had not lifted her from the ground and how the sound of her feet against the floor appeared much too loud in the otherwise silent hangar, Midna knew that it was not the case.</p>
<p>Through it all, Zelda kept whispering to her. “It will be fine, we just have to get you to the infirmary, then I am sure that Uli will be able to make it all right again.”</p>
<p>The mention of Uli’s name felt like a knife had been plunged into her stomach, someone twisting the handle as they continued into the corridor, the door she knew would lead into the infirmary at once seeming like at was kilometres away and right in front of them as the last bit of strength left her, Midna letting her weight shift over to rest on the shoulder Zelda was offering with a little smile.</p>
<p>“Yes, it will be all right,” Zelda repeated, almost like she was talking to herself rather than Midna, “do you see the doors over there? We just have to make it over to them.”</p>
<p>“I—I am not injured.”</p>
<p>The words brought Zelda to a halt, the lack of someone pulling her forwards making Midna stop as well. As she looked down at Zelda, Midna could almost see how she tried to determine whether she was telling her the truth or if she was perhaps too upset to be trusted.</p>
<p>“Midna—”</p>
<p>“No.” she shook her head. She had no right to let Zelda attempt to comfort her, not after everything that had happened. “Really. I am not injured, not at all. Rusl, he—there was a guard coming, I wasn’t able to move in time, and he… he.”</p>
<p>She had not expected for Zelda to understand, but she must have, for the next moment, Midna felt Zelda’s arms around her.</p>
<p>“Shh.” her hand drawing small circles between her shoulder blades, Zelda held her close. “I promise you that we will find a way to save him.”</p>
<p>“How?” her voice sounded broken, tired. “How can you even think that we stand a chance? He was taken. If he is lucky, he is already dead, and if not, he is sure to be soon. The moment they take him to Ganondorf, it will all be over for him.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Zelda whispered, but although she claimed to understand, Midna knew that it was not the case, the next words coming out of her mouth only serving to confirm that suspicion, “but we will do something. We have to. I am sure that Ashei will do everything in her power to save him. I know she will.”</p>
<p>And maybe that was what pushed her too far, the softness with which Zelda approached her, the way she refused to acknowledge the fact that Midna had left one of her own to die, still clinging onto the childish naïveté. It was as if a switch had been flipped inside her mind, the anger flowing through her veins like steam through pipes and before Midna had the chance to realise what she was doing, she found herself looking back up at Zelda, anger clouding the world around her, leaving only the fact that Zelda was able to not only look at her but even try to claim that she was not to blame for her to understand.</p>
<p>“Midna, what are you—”</p>
<p>Zelda didn’t get to finish the sentence, for the next moment, Midna had let out a growl, the sound she produced sounding more like a wounded animal than a person, and twirled around. The look of fear that flashed across Zelda’s face should have made her stop, but in that moment, Midna doubted that there was anything in the world that would have been able to keep her back as she grabbed Zelda’s wrists, putting every last bit of pain into stepping forward, the movement sending Zelda stumbling backwards, Midna’s grip being all that kept her from falling. It was the confines of the narrow corridor that brought them to a halt, Midna stepping up so that even as Zelda was pushed against the wall, she could barely have been more than a few centimetres away from her.</p>
<p>“Don’t.” her voice shook, and she struggled to make her mouth obey her, but at last, Midna was able to force out the words. “Don’t you dare say that. Rusl is dead, do you hear me! I saw it myself; he was taken by Hyrulean guards, he is going to be taken to your father, and yet you dare to tell me that you trust the captain of the very same military to stop this, to stop what is going to happen.” she could see how Zelda tried to say something, tried to move away, but it all felt too distant for her to be able to understand, Midna instead focusing on the sound of her blood rushing in her ears. “He is dead, all because of me. He is dead!”</p>
<p>“Who is dead?”</p>
<p>The voice cut right through her anger, Midna finally realising what had just happened.</p>
<p>Stepping backwards to let go of Zelda, she tried to meet her gaze, tried to do anything to let her know that she was sorry, but Zelda looked down at the ground instead. Midna could not say that she blamed her for that, not even as the hollow feeling inside her grew, the world around her becoming colder as she felt her arms fall back down to hang by her side, useless and heavy.</p>
<p>Then, turning around, Midna could have sworn that she felt her heart break apart.</p>
<p>Uli was standing right there, looking first at Zelda, then at Midna, and then finally back at Zelda, the crease between her eyebrows becoming a little deeper every time as she repeated the question. “What happened here? Who is dead?”</p>
<p>“I—” Midna tried to form the word, but found that she couldn’t, and although she knew that she had no right to hope for help from her, she still caught herself glancing towards Zelda, mentally begging her to finish the sentence for her. But of course, Zelda kept on staring at the ground directly in front of her feet.</p>
<p>“I am going to ask you one last time,” Uli said, using the same tone of voice Midna had only ever heard her use back when she had caught Talo stealing a loaf of bread from the larder, “what happened here?”</p>
<p>Midna had never been as grateful for Link turning around the corner as she was in that moment, the green colour of his waistcoat and the way he seemed to instantly realise what had happened as he cast a glance at how Midna and Zelda were standing, Midna feeling how her shoulders were surely at the level of her ears, Zelda still standing right in front of the wall, telling her that she was saved. As selfish as it was of her to let Link do it, she could not find the strength to explain to Uli what had happened ,why she had found Midna with her face centimetres away from Zelda’s, and so, she remained silent.</p>
<p>“Uli.” moving through the corridor, running to bridge the last few metres between them, Link soon reached out to place a hand on Uli’s arm, the contact making her turn away from Midna and Zelda. “Will you come with me for a moment? There is… there is something you need to know about.”</p>
<p>“What is it?” Uli asked, taking a step backwards.</p>
<p>But Midna could see from the way she was fighting to keep back a sob that she had realised the connection between Midna’s anger, how she had yelled at Zelda, and now Link looking at her with eyes that were shiny with tears. Without another word, she went with him, leaving Midna and Zelda alone in the corridor.</p>
<p>The silence between them felt almost like she would have been able to touch it if she had reached out, seeping into her lungs, feeling almost like it was trying to suffocate her despite her attempts at telling herself that she was only imagining things. Even then, it did not make the sensation disappear. Midna did not have to wonder why. After all, after everything that had happened, first letting Rusl be captured and now this, both lashing out at Zelda and leaving Link with the task of informing Uli about her husband’s fate, if there really were any goddesses looking after the world and trying to make sure that everyone got what they deserved, Midna was sure that they would have one look at her before deciding that it was what she had earned.</p>
<p>In front of her, Midna could see how the colour slowly returned to Zelda’s face, the princess looking a little less shaken as the seconds passed between them, reaching up to try to brush her hair out of her face where it had landed as Midna had shoved her up against the wall, her mouth forming silent words as she glanced over at Midna, only meeting her gaze for a moment before looking back down at the floor, the way her chest moved rapidly betraying her, revealing her emotions.</p>
<p>She fled. Knowing that she should have stayed and at least tried to apologise, Midna spun around and sprinted back to the Shadow. She was almost completely sure that someone would be bound to try to stop her, to drag her back to bring her face to face with the reality she herself had created, and she was not quite sure whether the fact that she was able to run inside her cabin, locking the door behind her, without meeting anyone was a blessing or a curse. As she collapsed, barely making it to her bed, she was too exhausted to think about it.</p>
<p>It did not take long before the darkness around her seemed to grow, finally bringing her sleep and a sense of peace that she did not deserve.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a nightmare. Midna knew that from the moment she opened her eyes to find herself face to face with her mother. And yet, it did not keep it all from feeling so real that she had no doubts that she would have been able to reach out towards her mother, like she was been able to ask her what had gone through her mind in her last moments. But no matter how many times Midna tried to open her mouth, she found that she could not produce a single sound, instead reduced to watching as her mother’s face twisted, the serene expression that would not have been out of place for someone posing for a painting becoming a mask of rage, her eyes seeming to glow with the same kind of destructive warmth as a fire that was out of control.</p>
<p>“Hello, Midna,” her mother said, and although Midna had known that it would happen, she still found herself wincing at the sound of her voice, everything about it feeling like it had been devised specifically to clash with the fire in her eyes, for as she spoke, Midna’s mother sounded like she was made from ice, “I hope you are proud of what you have done. Truly, seeing you destroy everything around you, I can’t help but wonder if I did the right thing back then. You would have made an awful leader.”</p>
<p>Midna knew from experience that trying to over her ears would not help, not with this kind of nightmare. If she had only found herself lost in a maze with the light blinding her, she would at least have been able to follow along, to obey the rules her subconsciousness had created for her, but with this, with how she was aware of the fact that her mother was dead, had been dead for years, and that she was really lying in her bed, and yet could not make herself escape from having to listen to her mother, could not wake up, there was no escape, nothing she could cling to.</p>
<p>In front of her, her mother continued. “Have you told the darling princess?” she raised an eyebrow, the grimace only making her face look even more distorted.</p>
<p>Unable to take it anymore, Midna brought her hands to her face, shielding her eyes, but even then, she could not ignore her mother’s voice.</p>
<p>“No? Well, I suppose that is what we should have expected. You always were weak. Weak and self-righteous. I don’t know what I ever saw in you. You were right—you are not a hero; you help no one but yourself. I am proud of what my father did.”</p>
<p>Midna could feel how her blood became ice, and despite how a part of her was screaming for her not to do it, to remember that none of this could harm her as long as she did not allow it to, that she should wait for it all to be over, she looked up, only to find herself looking directly at Zelda.</p>
<p>In her dreams, she looked almost like how Midna had envisioned Nayru, based on what Ilia had told her about the goddess, her hair seeming to float around her face even with the lack of wind, her eyes shining brighter than the sun. However, as beautiful as she was, it felt more like a mask, something that was supposed to hide what was beneath, and as Zelda fixed her with an icy stare, Midna thought she could catch a glimpse of it, seeing the anger and hurt that rested just below the surface.</p>
<p>“Do you like what you see?” had it not been for how every word was said like it had been a sword meant to deliver a fatal blow, the way Zelda twirled around once might almost have looked childish, but as it was, Midna could not tear her gaze away from her face, only peripherally aware of how her clothes had changed, the white and lilac colour of her gown giving way for the whites and browns that seemed to be the colours usually worn by the customers of the merchants from whose ships they would grab articles of clothing. “Just remember that this,” Zelda took a step forward, her eyes flashing with anger, only to jerk back the next moment, bringing her hand up to her face as an expression replaced the last one, an grimace so like the one Zelda had been unable to hide from her in the corridor that Midna felt her heart skip a beat, “is all because of you. How do you think that feels? Actually, you don’t even have to answer that question, I can show you.” before Midna had a chance to do anything, Zelda had stepped forward, reaching up to rest both hands on her shoulders.</p>
<p>And for a moment, it felt almost like she was back before everything had begun to go wrong, back when she could still feel the idolisation in Zelda’s gaze each time she would look at her. It had been infuriating each time, Midna barely having been able to hide her anger at how some princess thought that it was her right to come here, sneaking onto her ship, and try to convince her that she should give up everything, the friends she had made, the relations that felt almost like a family, and the life she had been able to create for herself, to let her fulfil some childish dream of having her subjects look at her with adoration, knowing that she had freed them from a fate they might very well not even have been aware that they should not like. But now, as Zelda leant in towards her, hesitating for a moment as she tilted her head to the side, Midna knew that she would give up almost anything to have it back. After all, who was she to condemn Zelda for wanting to be adored, when she found herself unable to deny that it had not at the very least been a part of her reasons for turning the ship around to head back to Ordon to look for survivors even after she had snarled at Link that it was not their problem, that they did not have any responsibility towards anyone?</p>
<p>In front of her, the nightmarish version of Zelda blinked, her grip around her shoulders loosening just enough for her nails to no longer dig into the skin. “I see,” she mumbled, glancing once towards where Midna could feel how her heart was about to escape from her chest, “you are about to be awakened.”</p>
<p>“What?” the question came out as a croak, but even then, it was enough to render Midna speechless for a moment. She had never been able to speak in these dreams before. Trying her best to not lose heart, Midna cleared her throat and looked back at Zelda. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>But she just sent her a subtle smile. “I think you will find out soon enough. Just make sure not to fight it. Follow along with it, and you will land on your feet. If you don’t—” she shrugged, but Midna could still easily read in her eyes what she meant, “well, don’t tell me that I didn’t warm you.”</p>
<p>“Wait!”</p>
<p>She reached out towards her, but her hands closed around nothing but air, the image of Zelda having already pushed her backwards away from her.</p>
<p>The air howled around her as Midna fought to remember everything she had learnt from her years of having tried to do her part of making the world better by attacking the ships that, with their loyalty towards the king of Hyrule and their eagerness to bring back stolen goods from the Twilight Realm had been complicit in securing his regime. Leaning forward, Midna tried her best to cover as much area as possible, using the loose clothing and the way she could feel the fabric fluttering around her to her advantage, but every time she thought that she might have managed to slow her fall even a little, another wind hit her, making her lose her balance again.</p>
<p>The air seemed to devour her scream, for as she opened her mouth, Midna found herself unable to speak, unable to do anything other than to struggle against the invisible forces that held her in place, the ropes around her growing tighter and tighter the more she struggled against them.</p>
<p>A sharp pain shot through her head, soon spreading to her ribs as well.</p>
<p>Opening her eyes, Midna found herself looking directly up into the ceiling of her cabin. As she tried to move her hand, she could feel how the bedsheets were wrapped around her, keeping her from being able to move. She must have fallen out of her bed, so trapped in the nightmare that she had made herself become stuck in the bedsheet in her fight to make herself wake up.</p>
<p>Twisting around to make her way out of the cocoon, Midna tried not to think about her heart, not to think about the dream or how her mother’s face had changed, becoming Zelda’s. It was just her conscience trying to get to her, trying its best to make her collapse completely. That, or it was the goddesses attempt at making sure that her family would end with her. With how they had always seemed to favour the kingdom of Hyrule above anything else in all the myths Midna had heard about them, it would not have surprised her if that was the case.</p>
<p>Clinging onto a desperate hope that her screams had only been within the dream, Midna pushed herself off the floor and threw the quilt back onto the bed. There was no use in thinking about the past. And yet, as she waited for sleep to claim her again, Midna could not quite escape the feeling of how everything was about to catch up with her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't really know what to say other than to state the obvious by saying that things are really not that great for anyone right now, so that is all I will say :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They didn’t have anything to bury. Midna was not sure if she should have felt relieved or saddened by the realisation. All around her, it seemed that everyone else was mourning both for Rusl as well as the lack of something they could have given rest, but all she could think about was how it spared her from having to come face to face with the death of another family member, saved them from having to figure out a way to dig a grave in the frozen dirt outside the base.</p>
<p>Perhaps it was cynical of her to think like that, to care more about the fact that she had woken up at night multiple times in the two days that had passed since they had been forced to return to the base without Rusl, certain that she could hear the water in the pipes around her freezing over, making the pipes sing a lament as they tried their best not to burst, but that was, nevertheless, the thoughts that filled her mind as she stood in the middle of the hangar that early morning just as the sky began to turn red outside the base, letting them know how the world had not stopped, would not stop, just because they had lost someone.</p>
<p>Sneaking a glance at Uli, Midna felt almost selfish for mourning Rusl. With how Uli was somehow able to stand there in front of the rest of the residents of the base, holding Colin’s hand as she told them about her husband with a smile, saying that he would not have wanted for them to grieve, that they should continue to fight, it should have been simple for Midna to remind herself, that if Uli was able to grant Rusl his last request, she could as well.</p>
<p>And yet, her stomach continued to ache, sending sharp pangs through her body as she tried her best to remain standing.</p>
<p>“I know that my husband was a good man.” Uli nodded, and although they all remained quiet, Midna knew that no one would have disagreed with her. “We simply have to believe that the goddesses will look out for him. As long as they do, I know that he will be all right in the end.”</p>
<p>No one said anything. No one clapped as Uli walked back over to stand next to where Ilia and Bo had volunteered to hold the lantern, but Midna could still almost feel how a collective sense of relief filled the room around her as Uli puffed out the flame inside. Now, there was nothing left for them to do; they had already said goodbye. Or that was, almost everyone had said goodbye.</p>
<p>Across from her, standing at the other side of the circle, almost like she was trying to put as much distance between them as possible, Zelda was taking in the scene in front of her, brows drawn together as she followed Uli’s path back over to Colin with a confused expression in her eyes. Already, Midna knew that if she had hid inside her ship a little earlier, if she had accepted from the beginning that she would not be brave enough to inform Uli of what had happened, Zelda would currently be standing next to her, whispering questions about what was happening, what they were doing, to her. She would no doubt have insisted that they should wait a bit to perform the ceremony, should not lose hope yet. Midna could almost hear how she would stubbornly keep talking about Ashei, so convinced that her captain would somehow be able to both get close enough to Rusl to help and know that the princess would have wanted for her to help save one of the pirate’s lives, going against the wishes of her king. Right then, although she was aware of just how naïve the idea of any of that happening was, Midna would have given anything to have that kind of hope back at her side.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Life continued on.</p>
<p>It felt like it should not have been the case, Midna having to spend a few minutes the next morning simply looking up at the wooden planks above her head while trying to come to terms with the fact that she doubted there was even a single soul who had noticed that Rusl was gone outside the base, and yet, time continued to pass, the winter becoming harsher each day. It felt almost like the two could have been connected, like Rusl had been the person standing in front of them and forcing the snow to remain outside the base rather than having the direction of the wind change, sending ice winds and snow into the hangar the way it did in his absence.</p>
<p>Time continued to pass all the same, the rate of the sun setting and rising not stopping, nor increasing. Really, had it not been for the empty chair at the end of the table as someone summoned the council that Friday—Midna had a sneaking suspicion it might have been Jaggle, but as she sat down on her chair, she could not bring herself to care enough about it to ask—she could almost have made herself believe that Rusl was just a bit late, that he would enter the room any second now. But, of course, if there was anything Rusl was it was cautious of time, and the meeting began without him just like it would end with his chair remaining empty.</p>
<p>Jaggle was the first to stand up, the first of them to begin to speak after they had all looked around, halfway waiting for Rusl to rise to speak. Pushing his chair back, he cleared his throat, clearly trying his best to send them the same determined look they had known from Rusl as he gestured towards the solid rock above their heads. “I think,” he said, his voice shaking just a bit, “that I speak for all of us when I say that the weather has got worse over these last few days.” waiting for the scattered whispers to end, he folded his arms in front of his chest until he had their attention once more. “Now, I know that after… everything, we might not feel prepared to go outside anytime soon, but if we want to make sure that he didn’t sacrifice himself for nothing, we have to continue on.”</p>
<p>Midna could not tell if she was imagining things, or if everyone in the room sent her barely concealed glances. Had anyone told them? She doubted that Link would have shared what had really happened with anyone, but even with how they had all been pulled through the air in that moment, Midna would not be all that surprised if any of the other members of the crew had been able to guess what had happened the moment they had seen Midna cry next to a line without a harness. And still, no one dared to say anything, no one actually stood up to ask why they weren’t blaming her for it, and for the first time in as long as she could remember, Midna was grateful for how their shared past still seemed to be enough to make almost everyone side with her no matter the subject.</p>
<p>From the other end of the table, she could hear how someone moved to stand as well, the sound as the legs of the chair moved over the stone floor sounding incredibly loud in the room. As he coughed once, Midna already knew that it was Fado.</p>
<p>“I was actually just thinking about what we should do about the base.” Fado paused, and Midna could almost hear how he was wishing for someone to save from having to continue. But everyone remained quiet, seemingly all already knowing what he would say, leaving Fado to have to continue on his own. “Now, with Rusl gone, I believe that we are all aware of the fact that they—the king and his men, I mean—will most likely try to keep him alive. After all, he does know the location of this base, and if the king could make him tell him, well…” Fado spread out his arms, almost like he wanted to encompass the entire room, trying to convince them that he was speaking for all of them, “if that happens, I doubt we will have any chances of surviving. We should act now, before that happens. Already at this moment, I am sure that they have brought Rusl to Hyrule Castle. It is only a matter of time before he gives in and tells the king about us.”</p>
<p>“How dare you!”</p>
<p>It was not until she felt her nails dig into the palm of her hand that Midna realised how the person letting out a low growl was her, that the reason she had heard the sound of a chair falling over after being pushed backwards with a bit too much force was the same as the one that would explain why she was now standing up, leaning in over the table, looking at Fado with what she could tell was pure fury in her eyes from the way the rest of the council looked away from her as she continued. “How dare you stand here and try to claim that Rusl would ever betray us! What right do you have to do that? What have you ever done, how can you claim that you knew Rusl at all if you believe that he would ever tell Ganondorf about us?”</p>
<p>But the stunned silence only lasted for a moment before Fado regained the power of speech. Almost like he wanted to mirror her pose, he too leant forward, but unlike Midna, it sounded like he might still at least be able to somewhat control his voice as he responded. “I know that you want to believe that he will not break, but trust me, Midna, everyone does in the end. You say that I didn’t know him, but really, I think that you are the one in this room who knew him the least. Think about it,” he looked around, letting his gaze travel over the rest of the council, “we all lived in the same village for years. Rusl was our neighbour; he was the one who helped with the harvest. Would he want for us to stay here out of some misguided belief that fleeing would be the same as saying that we do not trust him? I don’t think he would. If Rusl was here, he would be the first to tell us to leave.”</p>
<p>Midna could hear from the sounds around her that she was losing her grip on the situation. They were going to leave, they were going to abandon her and the base that had given them a chance to live for so many years. She could feel how Link reached out towards her, trying to catch her hand, but she pulled it away from him. She would not let anyone stop her, not now.</p>
<p>“Fine.” her voice sounded much more broken than what she had intended. “Leave. I don’t care about it. Leave if that is what you want to do, I will not try to stop you. But just know that I will not come to save you when you regret the decision you made. If you leave, it will be the same as saying that you do not trust Rusl, and that, I cannot ever forgive. But if that is what you want, I will not stand between you and your chance to get a few months of pretending that everything is fine before Ganondorf inevitably finds you, for trust me when I say that he will. He always finds the ones who were foolish enough to think that they would have a chance against him.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed, Midna could almost feel how they wavered, torn between the option of leaving and the fact that she had just all but outright told them that no matter what, no matter what arguments they could present, even if she had not fully believed that they could trust Rusl to protect them, to protect their secret, she would still never agree to come with them.</p>
<p>“Midna…” Fado said, and from the tired sound of his voice, Midna could hear that he knew just as well as her that if she remained opposed to his plan, he would never be able to convince the rest of the council, much less the rest of the residents of the base, “I understand. I know that you are grieving—we all are. But we have to think about the future. It is what Rusl would have wanted for us, I know that it is. He would not want for us to wait for the king to find us here.”</p>
<p>“You are right, because Rusl is never going to tell the king about this place.”</p>
<p>The look Fado sent her as he let out a deep sigh was the exact same she had seen the parents send their children the few times a child had pointed towards her while she was trying to remain hidden in one of the villages rumoured to have ties to Ganondorf, claiming to have seen the pirate from the posters, only for the parent to shake their head at their imagination. “You can’t know that for certain. I want to believe in Rusl just as much as you, but we have to look at the facts. Sooner or later, he is bound to break, and then it will only be a matter of time before the king sends his fleet to get us.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know that,” Midna continued, the sound of the rest of the room no longer voicing support for Fado’s idea giving her the energy to continue, “for all we know, Rusl might be dead already. Then, he would not be able to tell Ganondorf anything.”</p>
<p>It felt horrible to speak about the possibility of Rusl having died mere moments after she had seen him for the last time like it was the best option for them, but that was nevertheless what they had been reduced to.</p>
<p>Pushing back down the guilt, Midna kept staring at Fado, ignoring how she could almost hear the way Zelda would have gasped if she had been able to hear her. She would no doubt have sided with her, but for entirely different reasons. As annoying as her childish belief that the world would reward the righteous was, Midna would almost have welcomed the sound of her voice in that moment. She already knew that Zelda would have argued for staying, believing that, no matter what happened, Rusl would stay quiet, remaining strong for just enough time to give Ashei the chance to get him out of Hyrule Castle. Yes, as Midna sat there, she knew exactly what Zelda would have said, how she would remain adamant that the goddesses would watch over them, seeing that they were doing what was right and reward them for that.</p>
<p>“I…” Fado shook his head, clearly trying his best to blink back the tears, “I know that it will not do much to change your opinion, but, Midna, you are making a mistake. I know that you are trying to honour his memory, but this is not the way to do it. This is not the right thing to do.”</p>
<p>He was right, Midna knew that. Zelda had tried to tell her that she was righteous, so sure that someone who targeted the ships of the rich could only have pure motivations, but when all was said and done, her attempts at justifying her actions, explaining to herself why she did not do more, were all just self-righteous efforts to denying the fact that even after everything she had seen, she really only cared about keeping herself and those she cared about safe. The rest of the Twilight Realm had been left to fend for itself the first time she had ever taken to the skies and watched the land beneath her grow more and more insignificant as she rose up into the air. Maybe the Twilight Realm had not been truly doomed until she had left it; perhaps they would have been able to save it if she had remained there, if she had kept on waiting aboard the ship, stayed in her hiding place. Maybe the few loyal servants who might have survived would have found her. Maybe they would have been able to form and lead a stronger rebellion, fulfilling the dream of justice Zelda loved to speak of.</p>
<p>But all of that was ages ago, so Midna made herself cold as she looked directly back at Fado. “Perhaps. But I am not going to leave this place. If you want to, I will give you the Shadow, but I am not coming with you.”</p>
<p>She could hear the surprised murmurs around her, could feel how Link reached out to take her hand, but all that mattered to her in that moment was the fact that Fado finally shook his head, looking down at the table. “No, it will not be necessary. If you are not leaving, then neither am I”</p>
<p>“Good.” Midna could hear how her voice trembled. “Then I believe that we should return to the topic of the food supply, should we not?”</p>
<p>In just a couple of minutes, she had all but moved to sit at the end of the table, taking Rusl’s place as the one to lead the meetings, if not physically, then at least mentally. Looking at the people around her, Midna could feel how the rest of the room not only sided with her, but also waited for her to change the topic, clearly giving her Rusl’s old chair in their minds. She supposed that she had brought that onto herself with her behaviour, but it was still enough to make her regret having ever raised her voice. What did it matter if they left the base? Rusl would not find out, and even if he did, Midna doubted he would be able to feel insulted that they had not trusted him enough in the end to stay. And yet, she could not bring herself to speak up, to say that she had recognised her mistake and that, if they wanted to, she would follow them wherever they wanted to go.</p>
<p>So instead, she remained still, Link quietly grabbing her chair from where it had fallen backwards, pushing it towards her without a word, the only communication between them being him sending her a tired smile, and listened as the rest of the council did their best not to mention what they were all thinking; how that, now that Rusl was gone, they might be able to make the food supply last for a little bit longer, delaying the moment where they would inevitably have to plan another mission for a few weeks more. The decision that, when that moment would arrive, they would not attack a ship, but instead sneak into a house and take what they needed from the pantry was one they all agreed on, and Midna did not have to wonder why.</p>
<p>As silence filled the room, all of them waiting for a few minutes too long before the realisation that they were all waiting for Rusl to close the meeting dawned on them, bringing the icy feeling of loss into the room, Midna hurried away, pretending that she did not hear Link calling her name or see how he reached out towards her. She should have stayed, if nothing else then to give him the chance to say what he wanted to tell her, but already, Midna knew that he had Ilia. He could talk with anyone he wanted to if he needed to discuss Rusl, Link was not the one who kept pushing people away. He would be fine, perhaps not right now, but, with time, he would.</p>
<p>So although, Midna felt colder than the ice that covered the top of the mountain as she pushed past him, that was exactly what she did, hurrying to get back to her ship before anyone would get the chance to point out that she might as well have claimed Rusl’s spot for herself with her behaviour during the meeting.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Midna only got a few hours of wallowing in self-pity, before the sound of someone knocking on the door pulled her back to reality, the short raps making her roll off her bed.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I am on my way,” she shouted towards the door, the promise making the noise quieten.</p>
<p>Maybe the lack of someone stating their name and reason for having gone to see her was why Midna could not help but picture Zelda standing on the other side of the door as she buttoned up the golden buttons lining the front of her waistcoat. If was an absurd thought—what had she done over the course of the last few days that would have made Zelda even begin to think about returning to her, giving her another chance—and yet, as Midna closed the distance between herself and the door with steps that felt both too quick and too eager, she could not keep the smile off her face at the prospect of perhaps being given the opportunity to apologise. After all, if she was forced to stand directly in front of Zelda, as much as she did not care about what she thought of her, Midna could not imagine a scenario where she would not at least attempt to make amends, if nothing else, then to ensure that Zelda might not find another person to try to convince that her idea of rising up against the king’s injustices might be able to bring change to the world around them, this time choosing someone she might be able to dazzle with her way with words and the images she could paint with her voice alone, making what everyone could see was a childish dream seem a little less ridiculous each time she would bring it up. Yes, Midna would be more than ready to swallow her pride if that was what it would take to keep Zelda from infecting anyone with that kind of childish naïveté.</p>
<p>By the time she had reached the door, the metal of the door handle feeling as cold as ice despite the warm water flowing through the pipes that were hidden in the walls around her, Midna almost felt like it as real, that Zelda would actually be there when she opened the door. But of course that was not the case.</p>
<p>Rather than finding Zelda on the other side of the door, Midna found herself face to face with Ilia. Blinking once, then twice, and feeling how her stomach fell a little, an emotion that felt too much like disappointment filling the air between them, Midna tried to remind herself that it was better this way.</p>
<p>She could not tell if Ilia had noticed her surprise—surprise, yes, that was what it was, it was so much more accurate than claiming it was disappointment—but what she did know was that, with none of them saying anything, nor moving to bring the other into a hug the way Midna could remember they would have done in the past, the silence soon began to feel as suffocating as water, seeping into every little bit of empty space around them.</p>
<p>All things considered, Midna supposed that Ilia looked good. Her eyes seemed redder than normal and her hair was a mess, but, really, with the wind never seeming to recede, continuing to attack them from where the gate had remained open ever since Rusl had been able to bring the steam engine to pull it up once again, none of them daring to suggest closing it to preserve the warmth, who could have expected it to look even halfway decent? These days, even Zelda seemed to have given up on trying to tangle out the knots in her hair, looking a little bit less the princess Midna had first met inside her ship each time she would catch a glimpse of her from across the room.</p>
<p>Only the fact that Ilia would no doubt have asked her what she was doing was what kept Midna from shaking her head, trying to banish all thoughts of Zelda from her mind. It was bad enough that she had found her way into her dreams; Midna would not allow her to also fill her waking hours.</p>
<p>Sneaking another glance at Ilia, Midna decided that giving in and being the first to say something would still be preferable to her struggle against thinking of Zelda. With rehearsed nonchalance, she leant against the door frame, hoping that her face did not betray her by showing her emotions for Ilia to see as she let out a low chuckle. “Hi, Ilia.” after having let almost three weeks pass without ever biting the bullet and going to talk with her, Ilia’s name sounded strange when Midna said it, almost like she had forgot how to pronounce it properly. “I hadn’t expected to see you here right now. Is there anything I can help you with?” staying as close to the truth as possible without giving away the name that still echoed in her mind seemed like it would be the best option, hopefully coming across as an attempt at clearing the air between them, without also bringing along a storm of unwanted questions.</p>
<p>“Oh, Midna!” Ilia broke down, all but falling forward, only stopped as Midna caught her, barely having time to realise what was going on before Ilia began crying into her shoulder, tears already seeping through the blouse, and Midna knew that she had reached a conclusion, realised what must have happened while not figuring out the entire extent of the truth. As Ilia continued, her words only confirmed that. “I am so sorry! I should not have let that much time pass without ever going to talk to you, I—I just… I could not bring myself to facing you, not when I wasn’t sure if we were still stuck in that horrible time where—.”</p>
<p>“Hey, hey.” Midna stroked her hair, careful not to let her hand be caught by the tangled locks. “Of course we weren’t fighting, at least not anymore. There is nothing to apologise for. Really, if anything, I should be the one to apologise to you.”</p>
<p>That made Ilia move. Moving away from her, not enough to bring an end to the hug, but enough to allow her to look up at Midna, Ilia shot her a confused look, almost like she did not understand what she was saying. “But… what? What do you have to apologise for?”</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna might almost have been able to believe that Ilia did not already know exactly what she was talking about, but then she came to her senses. It was so obvious, and while she knew that Ilia was doing her best to spare her feelings, pretending that it was not blindingly clear to everyone how she had spent most of those weeks since storming away from where Ilia and Zelda had been working on Epona lashing out at everyone who came too close, Midna found herself almost wishing that Ilia would simply have accepted the apology. That way, she would not have to repeat all of her mistakes, making herself listen to everything she had done wrong over the last few days. But as Midna looked down at Ilia, she knew that it was simply yet another consequence she would have to bear. If Ilia wanted to listen to her tell her how she knew exactly what she had done wrong, then Midna would do so a hundred times if it was what it would take to get even the tiniest chance of Ilia ever wanting to forgive her, if it was what was necessary to not lose another friend.</p>
<p>“I was too quick to judge you. I didn’t wait to make sure I knew what was actually going on, I assumed I knew everything about your intentions and motives, and for that, I am sorry.” Midna bowed her head, already knowing that she would not be able to continue if she caught even the shortest glimpse of Ilia. No matter what expression she would find on her face, whether it would be one that almost seemed to tell her how it would all be all right, that she would forgive her, of if it would instead be an unimpressed look, she would not have been able to bear it. “I… I don’t have any excuses, I am just sorry for what I did.”</p>
<p>She attempted to count inside her head, counting in time with the beat of her heart, trying to keep track of how much time passed, but Midna was sure that she must have repeated the numbers more than once, for although her heart beat against her chest like it was trying to escape and she knew that it must have been ages since she had fallen silent, she had barely even got to ten when Ilia reached out to take her hand.</p>
<p>“This apology…” Ilia glanced towards her hand, Midna following her gaze, “it is not only meant for me, is it?”</p>
<p>“What? No, of course it is!” but the words had barely left her mouth before Midna could hear how that was not the case. She had truly believed that it was what she would say to Ilia, that this was what her heart wanted her to say, but the more she thought about it, pausing to take in Ilia’s words instead of denying it, Midna could see how the face she was picturing was not Ilia’s. “Maybe…” Midna let the word trail off, giving herself a chance to try to make the image of how Zelda’s face had grown distorted in her dream leave her mind, “maybe I… I messed up, Ilia. I really messed up.”</p>
<p>Midna had halfway expected for Ilia to ask just what she had done, prepared herself for the look of disgust she would receive, but Ilia only nodded, the way the corners of her lips curled up into a smile that held too much sympathy for her almost managing to make Midna question if they were both talking about the same thing, or if Ilia was perhaps thinking that she was talking about some minor mistake. However, as Ilia opened her mouth, Midna knew that that was not the case.</p>
<p>“I know. Link told me about it.”</p>
<p>Link. Somehow, she had almost been able to forget about him, blocking out the hurt look that had flashed in his eyes when she had hurried past him, but now, Midna could feel how her stomach became a little knot of guilt again. Looking at Ilia, she tried to gauge what answer she would receive, knowing all too well that she would not be able to refrain from asking even if she had been able to read the expression on Ilia’s face.</p>
<p>“Is he…?” her throat felt almost like she just had to cough to clear it, but already the moment after she had tried to do so, Midna knew that it would not work, instead continuing, hoping that she was simply imagining how hoarse she sounded. “Is he all right?”</p>
<p>She could hear how ridiculous the question had been in the way Ilia let out a humourless laugh. Of course he was not all right; none of them were.</p>
<p>But despite the stupidity of even having to ask, Ilia still answered, shrugging slightly. “I don’t know. He refuses to talk with me—with anyone for that matter. He just returned from the meeting and walked right past me, completely ignoring me as I tried to ask him what had happened. Not even Uli was able to get through to him. He just went to the larder and began to count everything. Speaking of which, what did you talk about during the meeting to make him react that way?”</p>
<p>Midna knew that Ilia had guessed the answer already from the way she looked up at her, and yet, she was not able to keep herself from confirming it. “There… there was a discussion about whether or not we should abandon this base. With how the guards might have tried to bring Rusl back to the capital alive, there were fears that they might be able to make him tell Ganondorf about the location of our hideout.”</p>
<p>“Ah. Well that explains a lot.”</p>
<p>And Midna supposed that it was really all any of them could say in response to that. It certainly did explain Link having isolated himself, the way Ilia suddenly became quite busy wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye, why Midna could feel her heart speeding up each time she thought about the way they had doubted Rusl. But really, was she any better herself? After all, no matter how many times she had argued against fleeing as a consequence of thinking that Rusl would ever give up the location of the base, had she not been the first of them to show how little she trusted him when she had told him that she would never follow him if he left the safety of the fortress? As much as Midna would have loved to claim that that was not the case, she knew it would have been a lie. That was the way she was. She was quick to lash out at Zelda, taking her own anger at how she had outright told Rusl that she would not mourn him out on the first person who had been unfortunate enough to try to come close to her.</p>
<p>The strength it took to look over at Ilia felt like far more than what it had first taken to make her break the silence, but Midna did it. “What do you think I should do?”</p>
<p>“I think you should talk to her.”</p>
<p>She had been talking about Link, looking to Ilia for advice about how to make her best friend feel even a little bit better, if that was even possible, but the more Midna thought about her answer, the clearer it was to her that Ilia might not even have misunderstood the question all that much. Still, even the thought of having to seek out Zelda, having to risk that the little hint of understanding they might have been able to show one another would evaporate the instant Zelda would open her mouth, quite possibly to repeat her belief that Ashei would magically be able to guess that a random prisoner had ties to the princess and that said princess would want for him to be free, sent her heart racing.</p>
<p>“And Link?” it sounded so much like a way for her to avoid having to acknowledge the fact that Ilia was right that Midna had to hide how her instincts told her to back away and close the door to avoid having to face the truth. It would only have made things worse if she did.</p>
<p>“I…” Ilia shook her head. “I truly do not know what to do. It feels like I have tried everything already, and yet…” meeting her gaze, Midna could see how Ilia’s eyes were growing shiny, the realisation that, much like she liked to use her ship as a way to distract herself from the things that hurt, Ilia had done the same by turning the course of the conversation towards Zelda rather than Link and Rusl settling in her stomach, “maybe… if you talked to him, then maybe he would listen.”</p>
<p>Already, Midna could tell her that that would not be the case. If Ilia and Uli had both tried to reach him only for him to turn away from them, Midna failed to see just what they were hoping for her to do, why they would think that she would ever be able to succeed where they hadn’t.</p>
<p>But as she looked at Ilia and saw the way she fought to keep back the tears, Midna could not bring herself to say that. Instead, she pulled Ilia closer towards her.</p>
<p>“I will try,” she promised, and while she could not imagine Ilia not being aware of how it would not change anything, it appeared that it was what she had wanted to hear, Ilia leaning closer towards her, letting the silence bring them closer together, almost enough to make Midna forget about the weeks where they had not said a word to each other.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It required for her to search for him, the level of organisation in the larder telling her that he had only left the room a few moments ago, but, finally, Midna found Link sitting in the dining hall. With how he had chosen the corner of the room as his spot, she almost managed to miss him, only stopping to look back over at the table because she thought she had noticed something moving right before she would otherwise have closed the door behind her.</p>
<p>Walking over to pull out the chair next to him and sit down, Midna tried her best not to make a sound, not wanting to risk startling him and making him be on the defensive before she had even got the chance to make an attempt at speaking with him, but it seemed that she could have made as much noise as the lack of furniture other than the tables and chairs would have allowed her to. As he sat there, leaning in over the table and fiddling with something in front of him, Link appeared to be so preoccupied with his task that the world around him might as well have stopped existing. The idea of taking that away from him, denying him the chance to feel nothing at all for a moment seemed almost cruel, and the justification that she was doing it because Ilia had wanted her to was not enough for Midna to be able to ignore the fact that she was not sure if she was doing the right thing. But she had made a promise; she had told Ilia she would at least try, and try she would.</p>
<p>“Hey.” she did her best to make her voice soft.</p>
<p>There was no reaction. Link simply continued to work, twisting his body just enough so that it kept her from being able to see exactly what he was working on, other than how it seemed to require for him to remain so focused he could not spare a second to answering her. Or maybe he was just ignoring her. Midna knew that she was not exactly in a position to feel hurt if that was the case, but that was, nevertheless, what she did.</p>
<p>Pushing the feeling back down, Midna tried again, this time reaching out to place her hand on Link’s shoulder, hoping that it would not cause him to mess up what he was working on as she once more tried to break the silence between them. “Hey. I have been looking for you. I think a lot of people have, actually.”</p>
<p>That finally got his attention.</p>
<p>Placing his project back down onto the table in front of him, Link turned around to look at her, and as he did, Midna could see how what she had thought would turn out to perhaps be a lantern of some sort or maybe Link looking over his gun to make sure that it would not fail him when he really needed it really was one of the harnesses from the Shadow.</p>
<p>Lying there on the table in front of them, the leather straps and metal buckles seemed almost too fragile for Midna to believe that they had really placed their lives within them, hoping that they would be able to support them and get them safely back to the ship without breaking. And yet, it was not the harness itself that truly caught her attention. No, the reason she could not tear her gaze away from the table, simply staring down at it, was the line.</p>
<p>Midna knew that, despite how they had always prioritised using the best rope they could find aboard any of the ships they had ever boarded, rope was not able to withstand everything, there was a limit to how many times they could throw themselves into the air and hope that the line would be able to handle the sudden pull. And yet, as she looked down at the line, how it had been folded up to avoid becoming tangled up in itself, it felt almost unreal to think that, in the end, Rusl had been defeated by a sword slipping, hitting the rope by complete accident.</p>
<p>But then Link turned towards her, and all thoughts about how it should not have been able to happen, how, after years and years of trusting the lines to carry them, they should not have failed, were replaced by a sinking feeling in her stomach as she took in the look on Link’s face.</p>
<p>He looked horrible, and although Midna had listened to him and Ilia make fun of her for having a poor way with words, often varying between brutal honesty and making fun of a situation that did not call for that kind of levity, she instinctively knew not to mention how his eyes were red and puffy, the way she could see where the tears had streamed down his checks by the little layer of salt that coated part of the skin. But it was about more than just that. As Midna looked down, towards his hand, it was not possible for her to miss the way he was shaking, his attempt at hiding it by clutching the leather straps of the harness, wrapping them around his hands, only making it all the more obvious. From the bags under his eyes, Midna would estimate the time that had passed since the last time he had got the chance to sleep to be at least a few days. How he had been able to remain somewhat collected during the meeting, how he had been able to reach out to place his hand on top of hers, finding the energy to try to console her, was beyond her, but then again, Link had always been better than her at that kind of interaction—perhaps it had not required for him to be completely awake.</p>
<p>“Hi.” Link’s voice sounded better than what she had expected. As much as Midna knew that it was such a little thing, she could not help the way her heart fluttered a little, seeing a chance that, maybe, just maybe, she might be able to reach him, the hope only growing as Link, rather than turning back towards the harness the next moment, continued to look at her. “Ilia sent you to talk with me, did she not?”</p>
<p>“She did,” Midna admitted. Lying right now did not feel like a particularly smart choice, not with how they had already been betrayed by the broken harness, “although I will have to say that it is beyond me why she did—I think I speak for everyone who has ever met me when I say that I am not exactly known for my eloquence and ability to remain calm and compassionate while talking to people.”</p>
<p>Link did not smile, not fully, but Midna was still certain that she saw the hint of the muscles tucking at the corners of his mouth as he shook his head. “Well, maybe Ilia is smarter than both of us.”</p>
<p>It was with Ilia’s words about how the apology had been meant for Zelda as well, the way she had so quickly been able to reach the core of the lie Midna had not even realised she had told, echoing in her ears that Midna nodded. “Maybe she is.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed, Midna could tell how Link was aching to turn back to the harness, to continue his inspection of the buckles. Leaving him would be the easiest thing to do. She could walk away and tell Ilia that she had tried without it being a lie, but no matter how many times Midna tried to turn around, to stroll back over to the doors and leave Link alone again, she could not bring herself to do it. Instead, she motioned towards the harness, hoping that Link would not shut her out the way she had done as she made another attempt at reaching him, hearing how her voice rose halfway through the question. “What are you doing?”</p>
<p>“Just checking to make sure our equipment is… well, that it will be able to save us.” Link’s tone of voice was dismissive, clearly bringing the conversation to an end.</p>
<p>Midna could almost hear how he was waiting for her to leave so that he could go back to sitting there, being completely alone while trying to rationalise what had happened, attempting to shift the blame until he would fully believe that he might somehow have been able to stop Rusl from being captured if he had only been faster, smarter, a little more alert. But he was not the only one who could be silent, waiting until the silence would grow enough for it to pull a comment from the other. After all, it was almost the same tactic as what she had tried to use only a few hours earlier, and when it came to this kind of fight, Midna knew that there was no one inside the mountain who was better than her at pretending that the silence did not faze her. So, reaching up to try to force her fingers through her hair, trying not to wince each time they caught onto a mess of tangled locks and beads, she remained still, making sure not to glance over at Link even once.</p>
<p>And of course Link gave in in the end. He always had and always would do that.</p>
<p>Letting out a long sigh that sounded almost like it came from the very bottom of his lungs, he leant in over the table, looking almost like the balloon that would keep Epona in the air back when it had been lying on the floor as he went completely still for a moment before finally speaking. “It’s just… I can’t help but wonder if I could have done more to help him. I mean, he was captured because they were able to cut the line anchoring him to the Shadow, right? So if the line had only been a little bit stronger, if we had used something sturdier, maybe the sword would simply have hit the rope without anything happening.”</p>
<p>The moment Midna could hear how the sobs he had tried so hard to keep back ever since they had returned, trying his best to be some kind of hero the rest of them could go to for strength, made their way to the surface, she knew what to do.</p>
<p>Pushing against the floor with her feet, she moved her chair closer to him until she was able to put her arm around his shoulders, trying her best not to begin to cry as well. It would have been a pretty sight, the two of them both sobbing over a harness, but she managed to force the tears to stay back for just a moment longer, instead trying to pat his shoulder. “It is not your fault. There is no part of this that is. You were back on the ship, doing your job, making sure that we would have a chance of escaping unharmed. There was nothing you could have done, do you understand? You were the reason that we did not all get captured.”</p>
<p>Looking down, Midna could feel how her gaze almost seemed to be pulled towards the harness, towards the leather strap she had felt cut into her shoulder, the slightly uncomfortable feeling not truly being registered, her full attention instead having been pulled towards the guard who had come running towards her with his sword already raised to strike. If she had just thought, if she had been able to act back then, jumping over the side of the ship and hoping that the soldiers would not think to shoot at her during the moments it would have taken before Link had pulled them all back up to the Shadow, if she had moved, done anything at all, anything other than simply standing there and waiting for the attack necessitating Rusl’s attempt at saving her, maybe she and Link would both be sitting with Ilia right now, trying to forget about their fights. But, no, she had failed to act in time, and now they were here, in the deserted dining hall with only a harness in front of them.</p>
<p>The words felt like they should have been able to cut into her skin as she forced herself to say it, like they should have torn up her throat. “Really, if you want to blame anyone for what happened, you should blame me.”</p>
<p>“You?” Link shot her a confused look, and if nothing else, Midna had to admit that he was good at pretending that it was not blindingly obvious what she had meant. “Why would I blame you?”</p>
<p>“Rusl sacrificed himself to save me. The guard, the one with the sword who cut his rope, he was about to hit me, but Rusl threw himself in between us. He tackled the guard to allow me to escape. If I had not let myself be cornered, if I had done something, then Rusl would not have had to do that. Then he would have come back home with us. Then he would still be here.”</p>
<p>She had been so sure that the confession would make Link turn away from her, too disgusted to even answer, but that was not at all what happened.</p>
<p>Instead, Link drew his brows together, looking up at her like he almost expected for her to be lying to him. “But there was nothing any of us could have done. His sword slipped and hit the rope; you could not have known that it would happen as a consequence of Rusl trying to save you. Besides, it was Rusl who made that choice. He must have known the risk—he must have. If he hadn’t, he would not have kept on insisting that Malo could not come with us.” he said the last sentence almost like it was meant for himself rather than Midna, a way for him to convince himself that they had not betrayed Rusl, that they had not allowed him to go on a mission when he was not able to fully accept the possible risks.</p>
<p>And, as much as she did not like to admit it, Midna supposed that at least a part of it was true. With all the times Rusl had moved to the front, taking the position of the leader, not only while on missions, but also back home at the base, she doubted that there was anyone who had known what might happen to them one day better than him. It would be so easy to accept that explanation, to try to console herself by saying that he had at the very least chosen that risk for himself. But she couldn’t.</p>
<p>“But if I had moved, everything would have been fine,” she insisted, “we would all have survived.”</p>
<p>“Or maybe the guard would have caught you. We don’t know what would have happened. Besides, even if that was the case, it would still not be your fault. There has never been a day where I ever doubted that I could trust Rusl, that he knew what he was doing. He was aware of the risks, so don’t blame yourself for what happened.”</p>
<p>Despite everything, Midna still found herself sending him a smirk before gesturing towards the harness. “I think I could say the same thing to you then.”</p>
<p>“Maybe.” instantly, Midna could tell that it had not been the right thing to say, not with how Link reached back out towards the buckle that was supposed to keep them from being able to slip out of the harness while in the air. “But I just can’t stop thinking about how everything would have ended differently if I had just pulled all of you back up onto the ship a little earlier. Maybe then you would never have been attacked and Rusl would never have stepped between you and the guard.”</p>
<p>“But you couldn’t have known.” Midna saw how Link shrugged, clearly brushing off the comment, so, leaning a bit closer towards him, trying her best to force him to understand what she was saying, she tried again. “You were up on the ship, waiting for the signal to pull us up. You trusted us, you trusted our ability to tell when to leave the ship, and I am telling you that if you had pulled us back up a little earlier, some of us would not have had time to put on our harness. No matter what we had done, things were bound to go wrong.”</p>
<p>“I know!” the sudden yell seemed to take them both by surprise, Link startling before calming down a little, sending her an apologetic look. “I am sorry, it is just… I know everything you could possibly tell me already. Half the team has already been here to try to convince me that Rusl would not have wanted for me to blame myself, but I just… I can’t stop thinking about it. I know that it won’t bring him back, but when I look at this,” he gestured towards the rope, “and try to think of the ways I could have improved it, it feels almost like it might actually be able to change what happened.”</p>
<p>“But you can’t.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think I know that already?” the words could almost have ben biting had it not been for how any edge that might have been present in Link’s voice disappeared the instant Midna saw him give up completely and let the tears flow. “Don’t you think that Uli, Ilia—everyone—has already told me that? It just doesn’t make it feel any better.”</p>
<p>“I know.” if Midna had been a little better, if she had been able to act a little more like Zelda, if she had been able to adopt her way of making sure that her voice sounded calm, sweet, she might have been able to repair everything, but as it was, she was just barely able to keep herself from crying, knowing that her voice betrayed her, showing how there were only a few seconds between the carefully constructed façade and having it all come crumbling down around her. “I know, Link, people have told me that as well. I just… I don’t know what to tell you. I am just here because Ilia told me to.”</p>
<p>There was a moment where Midna thought that perhaps her honesty might have been able to reach him, but then Link shook his head and turned his attention back towards the task in front of him. “Well, then I suppose that you can tell Ilia that you tried.”</p>
<p>And Midna supposed that that was true. At least it was the only thing that she could do now, for as Link turned away from her, brushing her arm off his shoulder as he reached forwards to grab the harness, the meaning of the gesture was obvious. She was not welcome there anymore, he did not want for her to watch him.</p>
<p>She could understand that. Although Midna knew that it would not have been enough to stop Ilia, although she knew that her friend would have continued to attempt to reach Link rather than leaving him all alone again, she was not able to continue to push him, not without being even more of a hypocrite. So she turned around and left, only pausing for a moment to give Link a chance to tell her that he wanted her to stay. But he didn’t, and the door closed with a soft thud behind her as she left the room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pile of discarded pieces of paper sitting in front of her on her desk grew throughout the following days, but no matter how many times Midna tried to put her feelings into words, she could never make it through even one sentence before she looked back at the letter and realised that the apology sounded insincere and forced even when she was the one to read it. If that was how she saw it, Midna did not dare to imagine what Zelda would think about it, and so, the letter would end up as a crumpled up piece of paper on top of the growing pile. If Uli had been able to see her, she would surely have given her a sharp reprimand for wasting so much paper, but Midna could not bring herself to worry about that as she sat down on her chair for yet another evening of trying to find the words to explain—no, apologise, she had to apologise, not explain—to Zelda that Tuesday. What were a few more pieces of paper against the coldness she could feel making its way into her life, an icy feeling that had nothing to do with the fact that the winter did not look like it would spare them from the freezing cold winds it brought along?</p>
<p>Pressing the tip of the fountain pen to the paper, Midna tried to empty her mind. The words had to come, they had to. But even as she felt her hand begin to shake under the pressure, the tip of the pen beginning to dig into the paper as the ink made it soft, the words refused to appear in her mind.</p>
<p>At last, she opened her eyes and took in the sight of the blue ink seeping into the tiny grooves. It looked almost like veins as it spread out. She crumpled it all up with a single, angry movement. The paper landed on top of the pile, for a moment making it almost look like she had meant for it to end there, but then the added weight made the pile collapse, the discarded letters rolling over the table, a few of them ending up on the floor</p>
<p>Midna placed her head on the table, the cold wood pressing against her forehead. It was hopeless.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we see that, while still not doing great, Midna is doing slightly better than in the last chapter :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Before anything else, I want to apologise for the chapter being overdue. Due to being on holiday right now, my internet connection is not always great, which meant that I could not upload it at the time. I will try my best to catch up with the chapters since I still have them ready for when I had meant to upload them, but since this issue will most likely remain for about a week, I can't promise that it will happen soon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Midna was not sure what the nightmare was about. For all she knew, the usual sight of her mother and Zelda telling her exactly how her mistakes had affected everyone around her might very well have been replaced with scenarios where the coal would come alive and taunt her, and Midna would have been none the wiser.</p>
<p>All she knew was that she woke up with a scream dying on her lips, already in the middle of trying to sit up in her bed, hoping that that would be enough to escape the feelings of terror, when she felt someone press her back down with a gentle hand on her shoulder, something damp touching her forehead.</p>
<p>Blinking, Midna tried to look into the darkness, tried to recognise the faint outline of the person next to her. From what she could see, they were sitting down—they must have dragged the chair from her desk over to her bed, her tired brain supplied her with—slowly dabbing the sweat away from her forehead with a damp piece of cloth.</p>
<p>The person must have noticed that she was awake, for Midna could hear how the fabric of their clothes rustled as they turned to move the cloth away for a moment. “Shh,” they whispered, their voice low and calming, “everything is fine. Just relax.”</p>
<p>She would have recognised the voice anywhere. With how her heart instantly sped up a little, Midna having to fight the instinct to reach out to touch her hand to make sure that she was really there and that this was not all just a different part of her nightmares, albeit a nightmare where Midna could not quite see how could ever have been intended as a way to scare her, she was at once grateful for how the darkness would be sure to conceal the way she could not keep herself from smiling and wishing that she could have seen her.</p>
<p>“Zelda.” when she did not get a reply, Midna knew that she had guessed correctly. But then the fact that she should not be here, that this was her own cabin, hit her, and Midna found herself instantly reminded of the fact that she was lying here, having allowed the princess to see her when she was at her most vulnerable, and felt how her voice dropped to a suspicious whisper. “What are you doing here?”</p>
<p>Zelda must have caught the barely hidden meaning of the question, for the next second, she leant away from her again, removing her hand from her shoulder. “I heard you scream. You woke me up and I decided to go see if there was anything wrong, only to find you in here, bathed in cold sweat.” Midna might not have been able to see Zelda, but she could almost hear how she shrugged as she continued. “So I decided that I would try to make sure that you were all right, getting a blouse from your wardrobe that seemed clean as I tried my best to keep you from panicking even more.”</p>
<p>“But… the door…” Midna felt how her brain slowly began to wake up once more, beginning to piece together what had happened, how Zelda had apparently found it in her to go help her even after everything that had happened between them over those last few weeks, “it should have been locked. How did you get in?”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t.” Zelda must have been able to guess what Midna’s silence meant, for she continued, her tone of voice becoming sharper than what Midna had heard before until her voice seemed so unlike what she was used to that, had it not been for how she already knew that it was Zelda sitting next to her, Midna would not have been surprised if she had not been able to recognise her. “The door was open when I came here, or well, you might have remembered to close it, but it wasn’t locked.”</p>
<p>Slowly, the events of the previous evening began to return to her, Midna remembering how she had given up on composing the apology to Zelda, instead falling asleep at her desk. Midna knitted her brows. She had been sitting in her room, barely having the energy to move over to her bed. But before she had done any of that, she had remembered to turn towards the door and turn the key, had she not? She was almost completely certain she had, but the more Midna thought about it, the more that little feeling of not being completely sure grew, until she had to admit that Zelda might be right.</p>
<p>“Oh, well, I…” Midna could feel Zelda sitting next to her, she could hear her breathe, but as she continued, it felt almost like she might have been alone, like she might be sitting with her letters again rather than Zelda herself. She tried to focus on that feeling, tried to imagine that she was not talking directly to Zelda and that she could take back anything if she came to regret having told her later, “thank you. For… well, for coming here to make sure that I would survive. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“It was nothing.” the chair slid across the floor as Zelda stood up.</p>
<p>With how her eyes were beginning to grow used to the lack of light, Midna could just barely make out the expression on her face when she focused, turning towards her to see how there were no traces of her usual smile to be found on her face.</p>
<p>Zelda placed the blouse on the table next to her, and it felt almost like Midna had jumped over the side of the Shadow with how her stomach seemed to fall to the floor as she realised how the table in question had to be her desk, the very same desk where all her letters must still be lying in a pile, simply waiting for Zelda to find them and demand to know why Midna kept several pieces of paper in her room.</p>
<p>But maybe Ilia had decided to pray for her as well lately, for as Zelda turned back to look down at her, Midna could not see anything in her expression that might be a sign that she had noticed the letters, that the next word out of her mouth might be the beginning of a question about the use for them.</p>
<p>Instead, Zelda shook her head a little as she looked at her. “I suppose I should get going then. After all, I cannot spend the entire night up here.”</p>
<p>“Wait!” Midna had not realised that she had yelled the word, nor how she had reached out towards Zelda, catching nothing but air as Zelda moved her hand away at the last moment. Clearing her throat and hoping that Zelda might simply have decided to regard it as just an awkward cough, Midna tried again, this time able to take Zelda’s hand. “Wait, just a little longer. Please. I—I don’t want to be all alone.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed, Midna almost managed to convince herself that it might have worked, that, even with how she had done nothing to deserve it, Zelda might stay.</p>
<p>Then, Zelda pulled her hand out of her grip, making Midna’s arms fall back down, her left hand hitting the wooden side of her bed, sending a painful twinge up through her arm. “I can’t. I have to get some sleep myself as well. I hope that you will be all right on your own, Midna. Goodnight.”</p>
<p>She was leaving. Even in her tired state, Midna was able to understand that, so, jumping out of the bed, the world spinning around her as it forced her to wait for a moment, she tried to follow after her, attempted to tell her what she had wasted so much paper on trying to put into words.</p>
<p>“Zelda, wait,” Midna called out, forcing herself not to yell as they walked across the deck. The last thing she would want was for anyone to look out into the hangar and begin to question why the one who had claimed the captain’s cabin for herself was looking like she had not slept for ages, why she was trying to beg the princess of Hyrule not to leave, “please, Zelda, I am sorry!”</p>
<p>But Zelda didn’t hear her, or at least that was what Midna tried to convince herself was the case. Thinking that the reason for why Zelda continued directly towards the hatch leading into the inside of the ship, not pausing for even a second to give Midna an opportunity to try to breathe and find the words for what she wanted to say was that she had not heard her was so much easier than admitting that, truly, Zelda had no reason to want to stop even if she had noticed the desperate edge to her voice.</p>
<p>Still, it did not keep Midna from quickening her pace. If she had been properly awake, Midna knew she would have been able to catch up with Zelda in mere moments, but as it was, even something as simple as trying not to stumble as she made her way over the wooden planks that made up the deck of a ship that was much older than herself was enough to slow her down considerably. Still, even if she had been able to sprint over to Zelda, Midna doubted that it would have helped much, as it would only have brought her a few metres closer to Zelda before she would then have to figure out what she could say to apologise.</p>
<p>Her voice echoed through the hallway as Zelda continued over to her room with an air around her that almost made Midna question whose ship it really was. From the way Zelda was able to walk over to her door with the same kind of normalcy that Midna had yet to achieve even after so many years of trying to make herself grow used to coming there, she would not have faulted anyone for thinking that it was Zelda’s ship. Maybe it really was. If the king found out about them, if he came to the base, Midna was sure that her ship would either receive a new layer of paint, enough to remove all traces of the crest of the Twili royal family before it would be given to the princess or be burnt, and with how everything seemed to have set them on a course towards certain doom these days, Midna could not help the horrible feeling of how they were all living on borrowed time from washing over her as she rushed forwards, only for Zelda to slam the door behind her.</p>
<p>Placing her head against the door, hoping that it would somehow be enough for Zelda to sense everything she wanted to tell her, Midna could hear how she twisted the key around. But unlike the first time Midna had heard the piece of metal inside the mechanism slide into place, keeping anyone from entering or leaving the room, she knew that it was not a matter of her locking Zelda inside the room anymore. No, now Zelda had locked the door to keep her from entering. And as much as Midna wanted to sit by the door and wait for the moment where she would have to come back out, giving her a moment to talk with her, yelling to make sure she would be heard on the other side of the door, seizing the chance that Zelda had provided her by making it so she would have to stay in there, she could not fault her for making that decision.</p>
<p>Ilia would probably have said that she should have gone back to her room and taken the letters back down to place in front of Zelda’s room, making it so she would not be able to leave without finding them, but by the time Midna was back inside the cabin, she could not find the strength to do so.</p>
<p>Instead, she lay down on her bed and looked up at the ceiling above her. Although her eyes felt like they were burning, her entire body feeling heavy after having gone through weeks of not getting enough sleep, she could not bring herself to close her eyes. The risk that she would only bring herself face to face with her own mother and Zelda was too much for her to do that. Then, she would prefer to feel tired.</p>
<p>But the fact that she refused to sleep did not seem to protect her from the influence of the nightmares. Somehow, the version of Zelda that told her everything she must think about Midna had found its way into the room with her, and as much as Midna tried to ignore it, reminding herself that, no matter what, it was only a figment of her imagination, she kept turning back towards it, moved to do it by what felt almost like some kind of morbid fascination.</p>
<p>What Zelda thought about her should not matter. Midna knew that. At the end of the day, fact was that Zelda was a princess, and not just any princess at that. If they had only found out that the stowaway had been the prince of Labrynna, Midna could almost believe that they might have been able to reach some kind of agreement, making the prince promise not to supply Ganondorf with the knowledge he would need to cause their downfall by promising to protect the Labrynnan ships that might pass over the kingdom. But Zelda had to be the princess of Hyrule, and no matter how good she might be at making the people around her like her, Midna had to remember that. That was the thing, was it not?</p>
<p>It felt almost like the nightmarish version of the woman drew back a little, just enough to give Midna space to breathe without feeling like the air had become water. It was becoming easier day by day to forget about the title. Midna suspected that some part of her would never quite be able to forget, but the more she thought about it, the clearer it became to her that the voice that begged her to cling onto the knowledge about how Zelda represented everything they were fighting against was the very same that had made her lash out at both Rusl, Ilia, and Link. And look at where that had led her.</p>
<p>Outside the porthole, Midna could see how sky slowly became lighter, the night no longer appearing as dark anymore, but she had never felt more awake than in that moment. Princess Zelda, it was only a title, and if Midna tried, she was sure that she would be able to take that title and push it down into the chest inside her mind. That was where it belonged after all, left in there along with everything else that had ever hurt her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It required her spending most of Thursday alone in her room, sending away Hanch when he came to talk to her, but by Friday, Midna had somehow been able to muster up the courage that her plan called for.</p>
<p>Heading towards the kitchens, Midna tried her best to justify the plan to herself. It was not that she was planning to use up all of their resources, and what little she would need, she would take from her own rations, but she still felt almost like a thief when she pushed open the door, moving quietly to make sure that she was alone before she stepped into the kitchen.</p>
<p>Perhaps the room had once been an imposing sight. With what little she had been about to find out about it from the books they had been able to salvage from the castle, the fortress had once been meant to serve as the last stronghold for the royal family of the Twilight Realm if they would ever find themselves facing a threat they could not fight, Midna supposed that it might not only have been to impress the soldiers, but also to ensure that the chefs would be able to maintain a level of luxury when it came to the food that would be brought to the royal family. Considering how the author of the book hade made sure to explain how the base was only to be used for the soldiers deemed the most trustworthy, that anyone who were to live there while the royal family had been forced to flee to the base would have to have received personal permission to do so from the regent, Midna might almost have found the fact that she had all but asked a bunch of total strangers to join her and Link as they searched for the base, having no clues other than an old map where half of it had been obscured by what seemed like water, funny. But now, all that mattered to her was that a kitchen made for royals meant that she could be sure that she would not find herself lacking the tools necessary for what she would try to do.</p>
<p>Placing the tiny bag of ingredients on the table, Midna began to search for a bowl. That was what she had seen the servants do, was it not? Her memory had grown blurry over the years, the first few years where they had had plenty to eat, the servants still able to hope that their exile would only be for a moment, becoming more and more difficult to recall, but Midna was still sure that she had not made up the memory of one of them, a tall, elderly woman who had always shook her head as the others talked about going home until she had joined them in the end, telling her that she should begin by pouring the dry ingredients into a bowl. Or had that been the wet ingredients?</p>
<p>The more Midna thought about it, the more she could feel the memory slip away from her, and although she had sworn that she would never cry over them again, she heard how the spoon clattered against the side of the bowl as she lost her grip on it, her knees buckling below her. Before she knew of it, she was leaning in over the table, having propped her elbow up onto the surface to give herself a way to remain upright. She refused to fall to the floor again. If she could not remain strong enough to not let it overwhelm her, she would at least make sure that she would not fall.</p>
<p>She should already be almost finished with the task. Midna knew that. The plan was the only thing that had made her able to make it through those last few weeks, the hope that if she only did this, Zelda might be willing to wait for enough time to let her apologise having supplied her with energy even when her eyelids had felt so heavy she wasn’t sure how she had been able to remain awake. She owed it to Zelda to at least try. She knew all of that, and yet, no matter how many times she gritted her teeth and told herself to get it under control again, to make sure that she had closed the lid of the chest properly this time to ensure that the memories would not get the chance to escape from where she had tried so hard to keep them in place again, Midna could not make herself stop.</p>
<p>In the end, it was not any kind of mental strength, but rather the sound of the door closing echoing from the other end of the room that made Midna look up.</p>
<p>For a moment, both she and Uli were simply staring at one another, none of them moving to say anything.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Uli’s brows formed a tiny crease. “What are you doing here?” but as she said it, her gaze fell onto the bowl next to Midna and how she had tried her best to line up the ingredients on the table in front of her.</p>
<p>“I—” Midna shook her head, forcing herself not to cry, not to show any sign of weakness, “I was planning to talk with someone, someone I have to apologise to. But since she does not want to talk with me, I figured that it would be a good idea to bring her something, something that she will like.”</p>
<p>“So you decided to bake her a cake?” Uli concluded for her, and Midna could not have been more grateful for how she did not mention Zelda’s name, even though it was apparent from the way Uli’s gaze flickered between the ingredients, the bowl, and Midna, that she was thinking back to the last time she had seen them together and realising the connection between the anger and hurt that had filled that hallway and why Midna had been standing with Zelda pressed against the wall in front of her.</p>
<p>She bowed her head. “Yes.”</p>
<p>“Well… do you know how to?”</p>
<p>It was such an absurd question that Midna almost found herself chuckling slightly. With the lost look she was shooting the bowl, trying to eye the ingredients as if they would be able to tell her in which order she should mix them together, it was kind of Uli to pretend that she did not already know what the answer to that question would be.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>At that, Uli began to move through the room, coming over to stand next to her and taking in the fact that, even with the four different kinds of ingredients Midna had decided might be used for a cake—her part of the honey, the frozen berries Uli had let her keep from the last time she had participated in a mission to gather food in the forest, a handful of flour from one of the missions, and water whose taste she hoped would not betray the fact that it was melted snow—there would still barely be enough for a mouthful.</p>
<p>Finally, turning to look back over at her, Uli sent her a smile so warm that Midna was sure that it was what having a mother must feel like. “If you won’t mind, I would gladly help you.”</p>
<p>She could have cried, have lost her composure and hugged Uli, too grateful for how she did not wait for her to ask, did not look at her and decide that, no matter what, she was not her child, not the way Colin was, not the way her unborn child would be, and that now, with Rusl gone, she had more than enough to take care of already without also having to help Midna after she had done her very best to push everyone away from her.</p>
<p>Midna was honestly not sure how she avoided doing any of those things, but somehow, she must have found the strength, for she nodded, barely able to keep back the tears. “If it would not cause you too many problems, then, thank you… I really would like for you to show me how to do… any of this.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.” Uli brushed off all of the words Midna could feel waiting at the tip of her tongue, waiting for her to try to insist again that, if this was any kind of problem for Uli, she really could figure it out on her own. “If anything, it has been so long since the last time I have got the opportunity to bake anything this complicated that you are doing me a favour by letting me participate.”</p>
<p>Deciding that, with the look Uli was sending the honey, looking almost like she could remember what Midna liked to imagine had been an idyllic life back in Ordon Village, she might not be lying, at least not fully, Midna kicked her guilty conscience over into a corner of her mind and accepted the offer for help Uli had extended towards her. “Yes, I mean, thank you. For offering to help me.” she was not sure why she felt the need to clarify that, but already the moment after the words had left her mouth, Midna felt how she wanted to take them back, to make them unsaid. Why could she not just have stopped after thanking Uli, why did she always have to add something unnecessary to the end of her sentences?</p>
<p>But if Uli felt insulted by the comment, she hid it well, already reaching out towards the ingredients as she began to speak. “Now, it is a while since the last time I tried to do this, but if you think about it, this might just be like that time when Hanch had got honey for his wife and she decided to give some of it to me to let me bake a cake for everyone.” as Uli moved over to grab the flour, closing her eyes for a second, Midna was not sure where she was—in the past or in the present. “Of course, it is many years since now, but how much can baking really have changed since then? Not much is what I will say.”</p>
<p>Uli worked as she talked. Midna had known that before; she had seen first-hand exactly how fast Uli could be when she had to move over to the other end of the kitchen to make sure that they would not let anything go to waste, walking in a way that did not do much to let anyone know how she might give birth any moment now, something Midna had overheard Beth tell her, only for Uli to laugh and tell her that, with a bit of luck, the child would be born in spring and experience warmth rather than cold. But now, as she began to chat about everything and nothing, it felt almost like everyone within the base had come to help her with the swiftness Uli exhibited, making it so that it was only a matter of minutes before she had combined all of the ingredients in the bowl before beginning to search for something to keep the cake somewhat together while in the oven.</p>
<p>“You know what?” Uli said after a few minutes of searching, standing back up with a groan, “I think we are just going to pour it onto a plate. It should not matter that much—I doubt this is enough batter to make any sort of cake tin necessary.”</p>
<p>Midna nodded, hoping that she was at least somewhat able to hide the fact that she really had no idea about what that meant. Surely, if Uli said that it was fine, then it was exactly that. “If you say so.”</p>
<p>They worked in silence for a bit, Midna almost able to feel how she was being torn between the need to say something, to try to put those last few weeks into words, and simply letting it be. It was a cowardly way to treat her emotions, essentially handling them by refusing to acknowledge them, but when everything was said and done, Midna supposed that was just who she was—a coward. And not even a coward who was at least good at refraining from making her problems even worse than they were in the first place. No, rather than not mentioning things, she absolutely had to lose her composure and lash out at anyone around her, further complicating the feelings that were whirling through her head in that moment. Maybe, if she had just been able to accept that Zelda’s claims that Ashei would save Rusl might have been her way of trying to understand what had just happened, then she might not be standing here right now, baking a cake for her.</p>
<p>Midna wanted to believe that was true; after all, other than that one time, she had not done anything wrong, she had acted exactly the way any other person would have treated someone boarding their ship. However, as she and Uli watched the tiny cake rising in the oven, Midna having to bite her tongue to keep herself from asking Uli if it was supposed to look like a piece of bread that had been left to soak in water for a few hours, she could not help but wonder if she would not still have been here even if she had not yelled at Zelda that one time. The need to say no, to assure herself that she was able to separate the problems in her mind was overwhelming, and yet, she was not able to completely dismiss the thought that she might have been led to this moment no matter what.</p>
<p>Just as she was about to ask Uli if the cake would be finished soon, eyeing the burnt patches with an uneasy feeling in her stomach, Uli pulled the metallic plate back out, quickly tipping it to let the cake fall onto one of the few plates where the gold trimming still spoke of how the royal family should have been with them in that moment.</p>
<p>“Here.” Uli pushed the plate towards her, making it slide across the table, coming to stop in front of her. “Now you can use the berries to decorate it however you want.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Midna could hear how her voice stuck to the side of her throat, making it feel almost like it pulled the next words along with it, forcing her to blink away the tears as the feelings rose up with it as well. “And… I—I am sorry—about what happened to Rusl, I mean. I should have done more, so much more. He saved me back then, you know.” she was not sure why, but in that moment, it felt important to make sure that Uli understood how her husband had been caught because he had saved her from meeting the same fate, that he had thrown himself at a guard to buy her the chance and time to escape, only to have her abandon him when she should have insisted on going back to rescue him. “And then, when it was my turn to make sure that he would be able to go home, to return to you and Colin and the little one… I fled. I let the ship bring us back home when I should have fought to make it turn around to give us another chance to save him. I know that I can never apologise enough for that, but I will have to try. Uli, I am so sorry.” Midna could already feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, making her vision become a collection of blurry dots and colours, and no matter how much she blinked, furious at how she was making it about herself even now, how she was standing here, crying, when she had just admitted that it was her fault, she could not stop the tears from coming.</p>
<p>The next moment, however, rather than telling her that this was the consequence she would have to endure for having allowed her husband to be captured by the soldiers, Uli reached out towards her, pulling her into a hug so tight that it did not feel like her stomach was causing her any trouble. As she stroked her hair, Midna was sure she could hear her cry as well, her uneven breathing making her heart break in two.</p>
<p>“I am not blaming you, Midna,” Uli whispered, “no one is. We know that you are just as distraught as the rest of us, even if you don’t show it the same way.” she must have been able to tell how Midna was only seconds away from letting out a humourless laugh, reminded of how, while it seemed like the rest of the residents of their little fortress had done their best to remember Rusl’s wishes for them and for the future, trying to honour his memory with a funeral, she had been busy pushing everyone around her away, for Uli did not give her a chance to interrupt, instead continuing. “Truly, I don’t think there is a single person within this mountain who would ever even imagine blaming you for what happened.”</p>
<p>“But they should. I mean, I was the one he sacrificed himself for. If only I had been able to see the attack coming, if I had stepped aside, then he would still be here. I should have done more, and even if people won’t say that to me directly, it is still the truth.”</p>
<p>“No.” Uli grabbed her by the shoulders, leaning back just enough so that she could look up at her, maintaining eye contact with such intensity in her eyes that Midna would not have been surprised if she was able to look directly into her soul. “No, Midna. You think that that is the truth, but, really, it is as far from it as it could possibly be. You have already done more for us than we can ever thank you for. You and Link, had it not been for you two, then we would all have been captured the moment the king would have sent his soldiers to the ruins of Ordon Village to make sure that he had not left any survivors to speak of what had happened. You kept that from happening. If you had not been there, we would all have been caught years ago. So don’t blame yourself for what happened to Rusl, I won’t let you do that. I am sure that if he was here now, he would tell you that he was just grateful for how you gave him so many more years to spend with his family.”</p>
<p>She wanted to argue with her, she wanted to keep herself from believing what she was saying, wanted to deny herself the relief that would come with allowing herself to be comforted by the story about Rusl having known that this would happen sooner or later and that he was just thankful that they had been able to delay the moment for all those years. Midna wanted all of that. But even as she could feel her breathing grow more controlled, the blur in front of her eyes soon disappearing, telling her that she was no longer crying, at least not the same way she had done at first, it felt wrong to think that way. After all, if she accepted that what had happened to Rusl had been inevitable, that she had only been able to buy the residents of Ordon a few years rather than saving them completely, was there even any use in continuing the fight for survival? If Uli truly viewed the situation as something she could not run from, if it was an opinion she shared with the other people who would smile at her and try to say something when she would pass by them, was the home Midna had allowed herself to imagine they would find together in the base just something she had borrowed for a time, knowing that she would have to give it all back when the time came? She hoped not. If that was the case, then where would she and Link be once they had all disappeared? Would they be left alone in the base, sad and bitter? Would they abandon it, feeling the pull to look for other survivors, to try to see if they could recreate the luck that had come to them when they had found the ruins of Ordon just in time to convince the few survivors who had hid in the forests around the village that they might be able to keep them safe, that they all shared the same goal of trying to find a place where Ganondorf could not find them?</p>
<p>Or would the universe decide that Link, her first friend, belonged in the same category as Uli, Ilia, Jaggle, and everyone else? After all, as much as Midna struggled to imagine a world where she did not wake up in the morning knowing that he would be at her side, as much as she could not imagine not having the comfort of knowing that there was not a fight serious enough to keep her from being able to go to him when she needed help, fact was that they had meet under similar circumstances, both of them trying to steal enough food to survive in the streets of Hateno Village, agreeing to work together to make them able to find enough fuel to use the Shadow to escape from the streets and to instead dream of finding a home. Would he leave her as well? If that was the case, Midna would be left alone with Zelda.</p>
<p>It had to be one of the effects of knowing that, at least, Zelda would not leave her, not when fate seemed to be so intent on making her stay there with Midna, ignoring how many times she had found herself wishing that she would disappear, but as Midna tried to imagine it, she found that she preferred it to being completely alone again.</p>
<p>Shaking her head like it would make the thought disappear, Midna looked back down at Uli. “I just feel like I should have done more to save him,” she mumbled. It felt too much like a confession, almost like she was not aware of how everyone would already have thought of that.</p>
<p>But Uli just brought her into yet another hug. “Don’t. There was nothing you could have done. Rusl would want for you to move on—he would not have wanted for you to completely lose yourself to the thoughts about what you would have done differently if you had the ability to change the past.”</p>
<p>Her words came close to poking at exactly the spot in her mind where Midna had banished all thoughts about the past to, the chest she had used to keep those thoughts from appearing in her mind all the time. But, somehow, she was able to keep the lid closed, forcing it to remain shut as she blinked the tears away and hoped that she did not look as pathetic as she felt when she looked over at Uli.</p>
<p>“He would?” her voice was light, hopeful, and Midna hated herself for it, how she was making Uli feel like she was obligated to comfort her and assure her that she was not to blame.</p>
<p>“I know he wouldn’t.” Uli let the hug last for a few seconds longer, but then she did also pull back, looking towards the cake and the berries almost like she wanted a way to bring an end to the conversation.</p>
<p>Midna could not blame her for it, not when she was the first to try to keep herself from having to come face to face with any unpleasant feelings.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Uli cleared her throat, her voice sounding slightly broken as she tried to regain her composure, “you should probably hurry to finish the cake. I think Zelda would like it better if it was still warm when you give it to her.”</p>
<p>“Yes. Of course.” Midna saw how Uli turned around, already getting ready to leave, and felt how the words almost pushed themselves out of her mouth. “And thank you.” for what felt like the first time in ages, she did not feel the need to specify why she wanted to thank her. It was enough to just see the way Uli turned around, sending her a short smile.</p>
<p>“You are welcome.”</p>
<p>Perhaps she spent a bit too much time on making sure that the berries would not roll off the cake. Maybe she was acutely aware of how her eyes were red, hoping that the chance to calm down for a moment would give them a chance to stop giving away the fact that she had just cried. But, if asked, Midna would have remained adamant that she was not trying to delay the moment where she would have to go to Zelda and look at her face while she would no doubt tell her to leave her alone. There was no idea in trying to convince herself that it was a lost cause, not before she had tried.</p>
<p>So, forcing herself to imagine a world where Zelda might look up at her and tell her that she just needed a bit more time, a day where she did not constantly have to look at her, Midna picked up the plate and began to head back towards hangar, thinking that this must be what it had felt like the first time she had ever had to jump over the handrail of the Shadow, simply deciding to trust the harness and rope to catch her in time. The memory was too foggy to recall, but she was sure that the sight of the land lying below her, looking almost like a painting with how far up she was, must once have frightened her. But even then, it was nothing when compared to the sinking feeling that she would never be able to make Zelda forgive her or at least give her another chance of apologising.</p>
<p>It was lucky for her that she had not once seen Zelda leave her room in the days following the night where she had woken up to find her dabbing the sweat away from her forehead. If she had had to search for her in the base, running around in the corridors to try to make her wait for long enough time to hand her the cake and the apology she still had yet to figure out how to put into words, Midna was sure she would have given up already. But with how she could not justify turning back now, not when she could hear Zelda pacing around inside her room from the moment she closed the hatch after her, fumbling in the dark for a moment before regaining her footing, Midna was able to force herself to continue, to reach out to knock on the door.</p>
<p>She waited, having almost arrived at the conclusion that Zelda was not going to open up for her, when the sound of the key being twisted filled the empty space around her and Zelda opened up the door just enough to poke her head out into the hallway.</p>
<p>“Oh.” if Zelda was surprised to see her, she did her best not to show it, for despite what Midna had expected, she did not instantly send her a disappointed look. “You.”</p>
<p>And that was really all she could have hoped for. Zelda had acknowledged her presence, and while she did not open up the door fully, she did not close it either, instead remaining where she was, with a hand on the handle and looking like she would be able to slam the door in her face and twist the key at a moment’s notice.</p>
<p>“Yes, me.” her voice sounded flat. Midna could hear it. Even after she tried to clear her throat, her voice continued to shake slightly as she held out the plate towards Zelda, a hopeful smile making its way onto her face. “I thought that you might want this.”</p>
<p>The look Zelda sent the plate was not unlike what Midna might have sent the steam engine of her ship when she could hear it try to tell her that it might not be able to take them back home to the base. “What is it?”</p>
<p>Midna felt her heart drop. She had messed up. The cake had been a bad idea right from the very beginning. But still, she was not about to give up just yet, not before she was sure that there was no hope left at all, so she tried with a smile. “Fruitcake. I… I thought that you might like having something to remind you of home. But, yeah, I know.” she felt almost like the smile was threatening to fall off her face, the unnatural feeling of it almost seeming to seep into the room around them. “It is nothing like what you must be used to, just what little I was able to find.”</p>
<p>She was saved by what Midna knew was Zelda’s upbringing, for that was the only possible explanation for how she shook her head, almost like she would not be able to bear having Midna think that she wasn’t grateful for the delicacy that Midna knew was only a poor imitation of what she had been talking about that day in the larder. “No, that was not what I was thinking. It is just… well, why?”</p>
<p>“Why?” Midna repeated. Already, she was almost certain that she knew exactly what Zelda meant, but it did not keep her from trying to buy herself a few seconds longer to consider her answer.</p>
<p>“Why did you bring me this? I thought that we were starving—where did you get the ingredients for this?”</p>
<p>That, Midna did know the answer to. Making sure that her face would not show any emotions, she nodded towards the cake. “Because I thought that you might like it. And because I know that I—that I really messed up back then and I wanted to apologise to you. So I thought that you might like getting some kind of present that might remind you of home.”</p>
<p>“But…” as Zelda looked back and forth between her and the plate, Midna thought she saw the beginning of a tiny smile, a trace of muscles pulling around her lips, but she made sure to bury the hope. If this ended up with Zelda telling her to leave her alone the way she expected it to, it would hurt less if she had not first managed to convince herself that there was hope for them, “I still don’t understand. Why all of this?” the way Zelda gestured towards the cake seemed to be meant to encompass more than just the treat.</p>
<p>Midna shrugged. It was easier that way, allowing her to pretend that all of this was just about the cake and nothing else. “Because I thought that maybe it would give me the chance to talk with you for a moment, to apologise without you walking away from me.” she let out a bitter laugh. “Yes, I haven’t changed at all; I am still a selfish asshole.”</p>
<p>Zelda did not disagree with her, but she didn’t agree either. Midna decided to view that as a sign that perhaps, only perhaps, there might be just a bit of hope.</p>
<p>“I suppose so. But you still did not tell me where you got the ingredients for all of this.” Zelda held the plate op to her face, inspecting the cake. “It must have required a lot of sugar to make this, or at least a bit of honey or something. Where did you get all that?”</p>
<p>“From my rations.” Midna tried her best not to show how much time she had spent trying to gather the ingredients, the hours she had spent figuring out how she could find more food in her already limited diet that would not lead to her starving halfway through winter. “Uli allowed me to take a bit of the honey, just what she might have used for me later on. She actually also helped me make the cake itself, for I fear that I am horrible at baking.” the laugh sounded hollow, unsure, as she looked towards Zelda, waiting for her reaction.</p>
<p>She made sure to let her wait for it. Looking back up from the cake, Zelda clenched her jaw for a moment before she stepped back, away from the door, opening it up. “Come on.” she motioned towards the room behind her, and when Midna remained frozen in place, unsure about what she meant, what she should do, she sighed, her shoulders falling until they were no longer practically at the level of her ears. “Midna, please don’t leave me waiting. Come in.”</p>
<p>“Wait.” all Midna could do was to stare at her, still painfully aware of how she was holding onto the plate like it would be able to save her life. “Are you saying that….?”</p>
<p>Zelda smiled at her. “If you really made that cake with the food that should have got you through the winter, then I suppose it is only right that you would be the one to eat it, wouldn’t you say so?.”</p>
<p>“But I made it for you.”</p>
<p>Even that was not able to do more than to make Zelda hesitate for a moment, gaze travelling from Midna, down to the cake, and then back up at her. “We can share it then. How does that sound?”</p>
<p>“Splendid,” Midna answered, already feeling how a smile spread across her face without giving her any say in the matter. It was not a sign that she would be able to tell Zelda how sorry she was, how she knew that she had messed up back then, and that she wanted to apologise, but it might be a beginning, fragile as it seemed.</p>
<p>Following along after Zelda, Midna made sure to keep her grip on the plate, not risking that she might drop it as her hands began to shake slightly the moment she found herself back inside that room. Hoping that she might be able to hide her anxious behaviour by not stopping talking, she gestured towards the chair and table placed next to Zelda’s bed. “So, should I just place it here?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Zelda barely paused to turn around to look at her, simply continuing over to sit down on the edge of her bed, leaving the chair vacant. She must have noticed the way Midna looked between her and the chair for, a smile that was so bright it made it seem almost like Zelda would be able to empty the room of the spirits that had haunted it for so long gracing her lips, she nodded towards her. “Please, sit down.”</p>
<p>Midna did as she was told to and tried to ignore how the chair squeaked beneath her, almost like it was protesting against her presence in the room.</p>
<p>“So,” Zelda leant in over the table, resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she sent Midna a studying look that made her feel almost like she could see into her soul, “you remembered. The cake, I mean.”</p>
<p>At once intimately aware of how the warm feeling in her cheeks had to be a sign that she was blushing, Midna kept her gaze fixed firmly on the cake between them. “I did. With how it was the first time I had ever heard you admit that there was something from Hyrule Castle that you missed, it would have been difficult for me to forget it.” she did not have to look at Zelda and see the way her expression clouded to know that she had said something wrong The very air between them felt almost like it was growing colder as Midna stammered to continue. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just… you looked happy when you talked about it, so I supposed that… well, that I might get a chance to apologise to you if I was able to offer you something.”</p>
<p>But Zelda shook her head, the smile returning moments later. “It had nothing to do with you. That—the thing right before, I mean—I was just—it reminded me of something I would have preferred to forget.”</p>
<p>“Oh. All right then.” Midna felt incredibly stupid as she had to mentally restrain herself from asking just what Zelda was referring to. If she did not want to be reminded of it, of course she was not going to tell Midna about it, no matter how many cakes she might have brought along.</p>
<p>Almost as if she had been able to read her thoughts, Zelda pointed towards the cake where one of the berries had rolled off the top to instead lie on the plate. “Do you want to have the first bite?”</p>
<p>“No.” that was the one thing Midna knew the answer to. This was Zelda’s cake; this was part of the apology she deserved. She would rather leave than take the first bite away from her, especially when there was hardly more than a mouthful to the cake in the first place. “No, I thought that you should get that honour.”</p>
<p>Her face must have made it clear that she would not be able to change her mind, for after looking at her for a second, Zelda chuckled and reached out towards the treat. “Then, I will make sure not to let it take a long time.” tearing the cake in half, she lifted her half up to her mouth.</p>
<p>Midna followed the cake’s path with her eyes, trying not to let her mind wander to the question of just how Zelda was able to make the motion seem elegant even when she did not have any cutlery. Instead, she continued to look at Zelda, trying to gauge from her expression whether the cake had been good enough. Maybe Zelda realised that was what she was doing, for, sending her a smirk, she made sure to look straight ahead, not letting her face show any reaction to the taste.</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Zelda said at last, reaching up to touch her chin lightly, “I think that that might have been one of the best things I have ever eaten in my life.” it almost felt like she emitted light as she smiled at Midna. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“I—” Midna began, hoping to tell her that there was no need to thank her, not when she had baked the cake to give herself a chance to apologise, an apology she knew she should have given Zelda the moment she had first stepped into the room. But she could not make a single sound leave her mouth, instead looking over at Zelda and hoping that she would assume that her silence was simply due to her not knowing how to respond.</p>
<p>That seemed to be the case, for Zelda nodded towards the cake before pushing the plate closer to her. “Here. Now it is your turn.”</p>
<p>There was nothing Midna wanted more than to discover if the sweetness of the honey and berries combined with the rest of what little she had been able to gather could ever have tasted as good as Zelda seemed to think it had, but she still found herself hesitating, and for once, she could not tell if it was because the cake was Zelda’s and that she should be able to eat it all, or if she was afraid of finding out whether or not Zelda was lying to spare her feelings, being kind to her even now, even after everything that had happened.</p>
<p>As she seconds passed, Zelda gradually drew her brows closer together until she at last cocked her head and smiled at her. “What are you waiting for, Midna? Go on, taste it, I promise you that it is delicious.”</p>
<p>That made the decision for her, and Midna reached out to pick up the last bite of the cake. It felt soft, almost like it would fall apart in her hand if she did not hurry to eat it, which was exactly what Midna did.</p>
<p>At first, it felt almost like eating a piece of bread, albeit a piece of bread that was more fragile than anything she had ever tasted before, but then the full extent of the taste hit her. Sweetness, both the distinctive aroma that the honey had added to the cake and the one that hid a hint of something sour, almost overwhelmed her, making her know without a doubt that Zelda had not lied when she had said that it was one of the best things she had ever eaten. No matter how much Midna tried to think of something that might be able to compete with the taste of the cake, she doubted she would be able to find it.</p>
<p>“So?” Zelda prompted her, looking almost as excited as Midna supposed she would have been, had it not been for how she knew that she had yet to actually apologise. “It was amazing, right?”</p>
<p>“It was.” in that moment, Midna could not tell whether she was relieved that the cake had been good enough or disappointed that Zelda had not, in fact, tried to make her feel better. She pushed all of it aside, instead preparing herself for the apology. “Listen, Zelda, I have to apologise. The way I reacted back when… back when we returned—it was despicable. You were only trying to help, and I… I… I am sorry.” she had thought she would ask for forgiveness, but in that moment, Midna knew that she did not deserve that.</p>
<p>“I…” Zelda let the world trail off, looking down at her hands. That alone was enough to make Midna’s stomach feel like it had disappeared to be replaced with rooks, but as Zelda looked back up, she did her best to hide her reaction, instead letting her continue, “I have to apologise as well.”</p>
<p>“What?” it did not make any sense. What about her behaviour back then had made Zelda think that she had anything to apologise for? As much as Midna tried to search for an answer, she could not find it, instead adding. “No! You—I—I was the one who yelled at you and pushed you. What makes you think that you need to apologise as well?”</p>
<p>“I thought that I was helping by trying to convince you that there might still be hope.” Zelda hesitated, looking around the room, almost like she was able to see the spirits. “But now I can see that it only made you feel worse with how I insisted that he might…” she paused and a shrug and an unsure smile almost made Midna doubt whether or not she was awake as Zelda looked over at her, “well, maybe I should not repeat all the things I said. But just know that I am sorry for having said all of that.”</p>
<p>It would have been so easy to just say that there was no need for her to apologise, repeating Zelda’s own words back at her, but Midna knew that it would not have been right. So, instead of taking the easy way out and pretend that everything was fine, she shook her head. “No. I have to apologise. What I did—it was not all right. Even if you had tried to make me feel sad, even if you had said all of that with the knowledge about how I would have reacted, it would still not make it all right. I am just—” she threw her hands above her head, struggling to find the words and the courage to continue. “I am sorry.”</p>
<p>Zelda looked at her for the longest time. Rationally, Midna was able to tell herself that the moment was not able to have lasted for longer than a few seconds, but as she sat there, her heart feeling heavier and heavier with each passing second, almost regretting that she had eaten the half of the cake Zelda that had offered her as the sweetness of it threatened to crawl back up her throat, it felt like it lasted ages.</p>
<p>Then, Zelda began to cry and all thoughts disappeared in an instant.</p>
<p>Unable to do anything other than simply staring at her, the dawning horror that this was what her attempts at apologising had resulted in, Zelda sitting across from her, crying like Midna had just pushed her against the wall again, rendering her speechless, Midna felt how every little part of her yelled at her, urging her to do something, to try to console her, ask her what she had done wrong, do anything other than merely remaining in her seat and looking at how Zelda at first tried to wipe the tears away with the hem of her sleeve before giving up and allowing them to stream down her cheeks. Even as she was crying, Midna could not deny that Zelda was able to maintain an almost eerie collected demeanour, making it so that if she forced herself to ignore the tears, Midna might almost have been able to convince herself that nothing was wrong as Zelda looked back up at her.</p>
<p>“Oh, Midna,” Zelda whispered, the mention of her name sending a shiver down Midna’s back, “I—I just want for us to put all of this behind us and begin with a clean sheet.” as she shook her head, the gesture almost seeming to be meant for herself rather than Midna, Zelda let out a hysteric laugh, her voice rising slightly. “That day, back when you agreed to accompany me into the forest, it was the happiest day of my life. I wish that it could have been like that for forever.”</p>
<p>“Then you must not have had a lot of happy days in your life.”</p>
<p>The words escaped her before Midna had even got the chance to think about them, born of the thought that if that day, with everything that had happened, how it had been cold enough to make the metal of the steam engine whine each time the wind hit the ship, how they had walked through the forest for ages, Midna making sure that they would not be able to share a conversation, only for Zelda to be pushed to the ground and dragged back to the base by Midna after they had almost been spotted by one of Ganondorf’s men, had been among the happiest days of her life, then the bar for what was able to qualify as a good day must be low.</p>
<p>Bringing her hand up to cover her mouth like that would be able to bring back the words, Midna looked at Zelda, already knowing that her eyes were wide and panicked. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean that, I don’t know why—”</p>
<p>But Zelda only sent her a look Midna could not read, seeming almost sad at the thought. “I suppose I must not have,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.</p>
<p>Midna did not know what to say. All too aware of how she might just have ruined her only chance of apologising to Zelda, she discreetly made sure to sit on her hands, not trusting herself to not begin to pull at her hair, trying her best to not yell at herself for how she could not even hold a conversation for five minutes without having to ruin everything, without having to bring every single interaction to an end.</p>
<p>As she remained quiet, the task of either sending her away or trying to find something to say fell to Zelda.</p>
<p>Once more reaching up to make sure she had at least somewhat managed to wipe away all traces of how she had cried only a few moments before, the corners of her lip curling up into a smile that even Midna could see was fake, she leant in over the table, closer towards Midna. “But what do you say, Midna? Do you think we could turn over a new leaf?”</p>
<p>And for once, Midna was able to force out the words while keeping everything else inside. “If you want to, I would be more than happy to do that.”</p>
<p>The way Zelda’s smile instantly grew warmer, the stiff look of it disappearing as she reached out to take her hand told her that that was a sentiment she would agree with. By then, Zelda’s next words were hardly necessary, and yet, Midna would not have changed them for anything.</p>
<p>“I would love to!”</p>
<p>“Then it is a pleasure to meet you, Zelda.” although she tried, Midna was not able to hide her glee as she reached out to offer Zelda her hand, and while she could undoubtedly have done better, have been able to express her feelings more eloquently, she found that she did not want to.</p>
<p>Zelda took her hand, squeezing it tightly as she looked directly into her eyes. “The pleasure is all mine.”</p>
<p>And just like that, Midna could feel something warm spreading through her body, travelling from her heart out into every last part of her.</p>
<p>It was a new beginning. For both of them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have a bit of reconciliation, perhaps even something that can be described as a friendship.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things changed. Midna had not fully realised what her conversation with Zelda would mean for her, some part of her almost feeling like it refused to believe that it had been real, that it was not just something she had imagined, an attempt at cheering herself up, but by the time she went back to her cabin the day after she had once more felt the warmth of Zelda’s smile, sitting down to eat her dinner alone—the meal consisting of some kind of mush that tasted like nothing at all, a reminder of how she had used what little resources they had left to use on her for the cake—only for someone to knock on her door, she was once more reminded of what had happened. For unlike everything she had ever known, it was neither Link nor Ilia who opened the door when she called for the person to enter. No, it was Zelda.</p>
<p>Standing there in the doorway, with her own plate held out in front of her as she hesitated for a moment, clearly unsure of just what to do, Zelda looked almost as out of place as Midna had felt the day before, back when she had found herself with no other choice than to head into the rooms below deck. And maybe that, the fact that she could see herself in the way Zelda shifted her weight from one side to another, was the reason for why she did not hesitate to gesture towards the chair next to her bed, walking over to pull it closer to her desk before looking back at Zelda.</p>
<p>“Do you want to sit down?” she asked, hoping that she had not misjudged Zelda’s intentions. It seemed unlikely that she had, with Zelda having come here with her dinner, but it did not keep her from holding her breath as she waited for the answer.</p>
<p>Thankfully, she did not have to wait for long, Zelda immediately moving over to sit down next to her. “Yes, thank you.” the plate clattered against the wooden desk as Zelda set it down.</p>
<p>Waiting another moment, hoping that Zelda would tell her the reason for why she had come there, only for it to become apparent that it would not happen, not right now at least, Midna gestured towards her. “So… what brings you here? Did you want to talk about anything?”</p>
<p>“No,” Zelda mumbled. Was Midna imagining things or was Zelda trying to avoid her gaze? It felt like that was the case although she could not see the reasons for it, “I just thought that maybe you would like some company. I noticed that you always left the dining hall during mealtimes, so I thought that you might be lonely, seeing as you are always all alone in here when you eat.” finally, Zelda looked back up at her, all thoughts about her meal clearly abandoned for a moment as she waited for a response.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Midna tried her best to make sure that her expression would not give away the surprise at that explanation. Maybe she had thought about the fact that it would be nice to have someone to talk with once or twice, the chance to not be alone while still not having to stay in the crowded dining hall with everyone else, but that did not mean that Zelda had to move away from it as well, not when Midna had seen her talk with everyone sitting at the table with her the few times she had been forced to head to the dining hall during mealtimes. “Uh, are you sure that you want to?” realising how it might have sounded to Zelda, Midna hurried to add. “I mean, from what I have seen, you like talking to people while you eat and—”</p>
<p>“That will not be a problem at all,” Zelda said, interrupting her, “I can be quiet if you want me to. We don’t have to talk at all; I just thought that it must be lonely for you to always go back here to eat.”</p>
<p>“No, you misunderstood me. I meant that from what I have seen, you seem to like eating in the dining hall together with everyone else. Are you sure you would not rather go back there to eat with them again? Because I would understand it if that was the case—I am not exactly the nicest person to be around.”</p>
<p>But Zelda just shrugged, almost like she did not care about any of that. “I think we will have to disagree on that. Or, well,” a tiny smile made its way to her lips, the sparkle in her eyes returning, “maybe you are right. There are definitely people here who are nicer than you, but I did not come here to talk about them with you. I came to ask you if you would mind me keeping you company for a while, just during mealtimes.” as Midna opened her mouth to answer, Zelda held up her hand. “No, wait, please don’t answer just yet. I wanted to make sure that you were all right, so if you don’t want to talk at all, I can understand that. We don’t have to talk with one another; I just want to make sure that you are not alone.”</p>
<p>The thought that perhaps Ilia had asked her to do this, wanting to make sure that Midna did not remain completely alone while she was busy trying to make Link come back to them crossed her mind, but Midna did her best not to dwell on it. Although it felt probable, especially considering the fact that Ilia had been the one to ask her to go talk with Zelda, for some reason, she preferred to think that Zelda had made the decision to visit her herself, the choice being completely separate from the fact that Midna had barely got the chance to exchange more than a couple of words with Ilia since she had opened her door to find her standing outside the cabin, telling her to apologise to Zelda and talk to Link. It felt like it had been ages ago, rather it really just being separated from the present by a little over a week, and as much as Midna did not like admitting it, she knew that the promise between her and Zelda to make a fresh start must have been at least part of why that was the case.</p>
<p>The realisation that Zelda was waiting for a response, looking down at her, the look in her eyes growing more and more uncertain with each passing second, was what forced Midna to return to the moment, barely able to keep herself from nodding so quickly that it would have sent her hair flying around her face. “If you really mean that, then I would love if you would stay here. But, just…” she paused, already sure that she would come to regret her next words within a week, perhaps even before that, and yet, she could not stop herself, “you don’t have to be quiet, you know. I won’t mind the two of us getting the chance to talk with each other for a bit.” seeing the way Zelda’s eyes widened in surprise, she hurried to add. “As long as you don’t mind either, I mean.”</p>
<p>“I don’t mind at all.” there was something almost undefinable about the way Zelda said the words, almost like it had been what Midna had been waiting for since the first time she had realised that, as annoying as she had been, she preferred talking to her over the two of them passing by each other in the corridors, Zelda walking past her without a second glance. Maybe that was why Midna did not find it difficult at all to return the brilliant smile Zelda sent her as she continued, pulling the chair a bit closer to her. “I had actually hoped that you might say something like that.”</p>
<p>She tried to respond, but all that came out was a surprised sound, Midna struggling to make sense of her thoughts. Finally, regaining the power of speech, she settled for simply nodding at her, mumbling the words to save herself in case she let something slip out that she would have preferred to remain unsaid. “Well, in that case, feel welcome to come in here whenever you like—during mealtimes, I mean.”</p>
<p>“Sure.” picking up her fork, Zelda looked almost like she decided to disregard the last part of the sentence, but then she smiled at her. “In that case, expect me to be here for breakfast tomorrow as well.”</p>
<p>It sounded like a joke, and Midna was sure that that was what it was, Zelda’s way of trying to put as much distance between the two of them and the reason for why they had not spoken to one another for weeks. But that did not keep her from wishing that she might have meant it. Eating alone in her cabin had felt like the better alternative, something she preferred to having to sit in the dining room where it would be even easier for Jaggle to come over to her to tell her what she already knew about how the situation with the larder called for them going out for another mission soon, her reassurances that there were only a little over two weeks left until the mission they had planned to Hateno Village would take place feeling like it fell on deaf ears, but as Zelda began to talk about everything and nothing at all, her amazement over the fact that Ilia was making progress on Epona at a rate none of them had dared to hope for the first time she had talked about the possibility of building another ship feeling almost infectious, Midna could not help but wish that she would actually be back for tomorrow. It must have been a sign that she had become better at suppressing and denying the unpleasant thoughts and feelings, but for a while, she felt how Zelda almost acted like she was just any other person, like she was just like the rest of them and not the princess of Hyrule. And for once, Midna was not in a hurry to remind herself of how that was not the case, instead choosing to pretend that it really was the case.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Midna had expected for that to be the end of it. Zelda would have her piece of evidence that Midna was keeping her promise about how they would make a fresh start, and the moment she would know that Midna was not simply waiting to lash out at her again, once more telling her that she was the princess and her enemy, she would return to spending time with Link, Ilia, everyone else, deciding to spend her days with the people who were better at interacting with her than Midna.</p>
<p>But for some reason, even as time passed, Midna found that Zelda did not leave her alone again. Rather than returning to the dining hall the morning after, as Midna had just sat down at her desk, trying to convince herself that she was just imagining things and that her bowl of porridge had not grown smaller since a week ago, someone knocked on her door, Midna barely having time to make sure that she had removed all traces of the hopeful smile on her face when the door opened, allowing Zelda to step into the room with an air about her as if this was completely normal and that she by all means should not have preferred to stay in the dining hall.</p>
<p>If she was honest, Midna could not see why Zelda was not seizing the opportunity to return to the dining hall. She had shown that she was the better person, she had reached out to make sure that no one could say that she did not try to keep her part of the promise, so why she kept on coming back was beyond Midna. But while she would have loved to ask for a reason, to ask Zelda if perhaps Ilia had left the dining hall as well to try to make sure Link would not lose himself completely to the thoughts about whether or not he would have been able to save Rusl if he had only spent more time looking at the harnesses, Midna could not bring herself to actually do it. It wasn’t that she was afraid that she would get the answer that it really was the case, but for some reason, each time she would look over at Zelda while they ate and wonder why she had not returned to the dining hall a long time ago, she found that she preferred uncertainty to being told that Zelda really only was there because she had no other alternatives. And so, Midna let their little ritual continue, allowing it to pass by unmentioned.</p>
<p>However, it was not only a case of Zelda coming to her cabin to keep her company while she ate. Little by little, Midna began to notice how Zelda stayed close to her during the day as well, often turning around the corner, entering the room Midna had just found herself in from the other end, and waving at her, acting almost like they had not seen the other in days rather than it being a question of a few hours, almost as if she had known that she would be here. It was a self-absorbed thought, but as it continued, Midna could not help but slowly begin to entertain the idea of it not really being a coincidence at all, not with how often it happened. But, even then, Midna did not dare to ask about it, instead deciding to enjoy it while it lasted.</p>
<p>It was almost strange how little Zelda knew about the base, about the ship. Still, it was even stranger how eager she was to learn more, how often she would take Midna’s hand and simply point towards one of the ancient pieces of machinery, asking her how it worked.</p>
<p>Midna could still vaguely remember showing Ilia how to shovel coal into the firebox of the ship, but as she showed it to Zelda, gesturing towards the firebox with her shovel as she explained how, if they wanted to leave the base, one of them would have to stay aboard at all times to make sure that the temperature of the water in the boiler wold not drop, she could not recall Ilia having ever looked that enthusiastic about standing in a room covered in a fine layer of coal dust, the smell of the brunt coal filling the air around them, making her eyes water.</p>
<p>“Do you think…” Zelda began, her gaze flickering back and forth between the shovel and Midna’s face as she swallowed, clearly nervous about what she was about to say, “do you think that I might one day be allowed to come with you?”</p>
<p>In that moment, Midna felt how she might almost have said yes, tried to tell Zelda what she thought she wanted to hear, had it not been for the way Zelda looked up at her, clearly seeing adventures and a search for the unknown when she looked at the ship rather than the missions, the raised swords, and the hope that it would not be the day where the soldiers would be able to aim at them while they were pulled back up onto the ship they actually used it for. But still, Midna could hear the apologetic tone in her voice as she answered, making her feel almost like she was trying to justify her decision of not allowing Zelda to risk her life. “Zelda…” she shook her head, “I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>She had expected for Zelda to argue with her, for her to insist that she would be able to come along, trying to convince her that she would be a valuable part of the crew, but that was not the case. Instead, Zelda simply stared down at her feet, a defeated look in her eyes. “Oh.”</p>
<p>Midna could almost hear what she was thinking, how Zelda had still not let go of the thought that they might be able to change the world, that they should use the ship to challenge Ganondorf, that she still believed that her belief that they were right would give them the edge they would so desperately need if it came to an actual fight with Ganondorf, but she did not voice any of it. For some reason, it felt almost worse than back when Midna had barely been able to talk with her for more than two seconds without Zelda mentioning her plans about how they should head out for some kind of suicidal mission to try to save people they had never even seen before, and after only a few moments, Midna knew why. Back then, she had at least been able to tell Zelda that it would not happen; she had been able to snap at her and tell her to forget about her plans. But now, she just had to look at her and know that she had disappointed her while also being aware of how she was really just trying to do her best to keep her safe.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda was able to guess part of her reasoning. Midna really could not tell if that was the case, or if she had just given up on trying to convince her to be a part of something that would be larger than just the base itself. With the way she looked back over at the firebox, clearly trying her best to not look too disappointed, it could be a case of both being true. Somehow, although Midna knew that it should have been a relief to finally not have to listen to Zelda constantly trying to tell her that she knew better, to try to claim that she was able to predict whether or not they had a chance, it did not keep her from feeling a little pang of regret as she saw how she had finally made Zelda stop trying to infect her with her idealism.</p>
<p>Shaking her head, Midna willed the thoughts to disappear. It did not matter, not anymore. Truly, if Zelda had really stopped hoping that she would be able to make them join her in what would clearly be a doomed quest to make a stand against the king, she should have been relieved, and so, Midna pushed the feelings down, locking them away in the chest along with everything else. Even if she had cared, it would be too late now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zelda was halfway through her lunch—the thinnest chunk of bread Midna had ever seen coated with an even smaller layer of butter—when she looked up at her, the look in her eyes letting Midna know almost exactly what she would say before she had even opened her mouth.</p>
<p>“I just realised,” Zelda began, her voice telling how that was very much not the case, that she had been thinking about it for a while, “that I haven’t seen Link in ages. Do you know what happened to him—I thought the two of you used to spend time together along with Ilia?”</p>
<p>Slowing down, both to enjoy the feeling of eating again for longer and to give herself more time to think of what she could say, Midna looked at Zelda, attempting to figure out how much of the question had been a carefully rehearsed lie. There was no doubt in her mind that Zelda was not unsure about whether or not Midna had spent much time together with Link and Ilia, not with the amount of times Midna had seen her talk with both of them back during the first few weeks of her staying with them. That had to be a way for her to hide the real question within another. But as much as Midna tried to figure out whether or not Zelda truly did not know the reason for why Link had stopped talking to her, stopped talking with anyone really, she could not reach a conclusion. Despite how she could not see how it could be anything other than obvious to everyone how much Rusl’s death had affected Link, with the way Zelda had first reacted to the news, it would not surprise her if she had not realised the connection.</p>
<p>So, placing what Uli had tried to refer to as a sandwich before sending her an apologetic look back down on the plate, Midna shook her head, willing herself not to cry, not now when they were talking about Link. “I think he preferred to be left alone for a bit,” she finally said, hoping that that explanation would be enough for Zelda.</p>
<p>Of course, that was not the case. Really, Midna should have known that from the very beginning.</p>
<p>With a tilt of the head, Zelda drew her brows together, the look in her eyes telling Midna that she was coming closer to the correct answer. “Is it because,” Zelda looked over at her, an unsure expression making its way to her face, “well, is it because…?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Midna nodded. “It is because of Rusl.” and then, almost like she could not possibly have kept it inside for a second longer, she heard how she continued, the words rushing out, desperate to be heard, almost like a waterfall. “I don’t know what to do. I thought that he would just need a little more time, but when Ilia told me to go talk to him, it seemed almost like he had somewhat come to terms with what had happened and that it was a matter of him permanently distancing himself from the rest of us.” she shook her head, blinking to make sure that Zelda would not see how her eyes were filled with tears, her vision becoming blurrier each second, Zelda looking more and more like just a few splashes of colours to her. “I haven’t talked to him since then—so for what? More than two weeks? And to tell you the truth, I have no idea about where he is right now. For all I know, I could wake up one morning to find that he took Epona to go attempt to save Rusl on his own with only an unfinished ship to get him back here to us.” she was not able to finish the sentence, but from how Zelda was looking at her, Midna knew that she did not have to specify why that was a thought that was able to keep her up at night. Without a doubt, Link leaving the base on his own to head to the capital would be the same as him going to his death. Even if he would take the Shadow, Midna was still not optimistic enough to believe that there would be any happy ending waiting, should he attempt to save Rusl.</p>
<p>It was the feeling of Zelda’s hand on top of hers that pulled her back to reality, Midna for a moment being able to forget about the worry sitting in the pit of her stomach each time she would look around only to conclude that she had no idea about where Link was to instead look over at her.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Zelda said, “I am sure he is fine.”</p>
<p>“You can’t know that.”</p>
<p>“No, I cannot.” the corner of Zelda’s lips curled upward into a little smile. “But with what both Ilia and Link have told me about you, I know that he is not going to leave you without saying goodbye. You don’t have to worry about waking up to find him gone.”</p>
<p>It should not have felt relieving to hear Zelda say that. Midna knew it shouldn’t. Not with how Zelda always seemed to be willing to believe in the best in people, almost like she could not understand that the world did not give out rewards to people just for being kind to each other, that there was no point in sitting there with her and attempt to tell her that everything would work out in the end. And yet, as Zelda took her hand, giving it a little squeeze as she smiled up at her, Midna would have lied if she had said that it was not nice to have someone to try to combat her darker thoughts for her from time to time.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>Zelda nodded. “Absolutely. However, I think that we should try to talk with him. Going through all of this alone—it cannot be good for him.”</p>
<p>“Well, what do you want me to do?” Midna could hear how there was a sharp edge to her words, but in that moment, all she wanted was really just for someone to take the responsibility away from her and tell her what they thought she should do. “Ilia has already told me to talk to him, but when I tried that, he refused to come back with me. He just stayed exactly where he was, acknowledging the fact that he was not to blame for what happened, and yet refusing to stop punishing himself for it. Nothing I said was able to change that.”</p>
<p>The look that Zelda sent her was not one Midna knew how to interpret, Zelda looking almost like she was trying to figure out how to put what she was thinking into words without risking offending her.</p>
<p>“Well,” Zelda said, “what did you say? When you tried to cheer him up, I mean?”</p>
<p>As she tried to recall just what she had said as she had looked over towards where Link was inspecting the harness so intensely it had felt like he was trying to burn a hole in it with his gaze alone, Midna found herself struggling to remember her exact words. With a shrug, she tried to seem unfazed. “I don’t know. I think I tried to explain to him how thinking about Rusl was not going to bring him back.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” Midna was not sure what to make of that sound, so she stayed quiet, allowing for Zelda to look up at her with an almost unsure look in her eyes. “Midna, would you mind it if I tried to talk to him, tried to make him come back to the rest of us?”</p>
<p>“No?” she had not meant for it to become a question, but that was, nevertheless, what it sounded like as the word left her mouth, Midna knowing that it was too late to take it back and instead deciding to continue. “I mean, it is not like I would even be able to stop you if I really did mind—I don’t have the power to decide whom you can and cannot talk to after all. But I just want to warn you in advance; I doubt that you are going to be able to change anything. If Ilia found herself asking me to go talk to him, she must already have given up on reaching him, and if she has done that, I doubt that there is anything we can do to make Link come back.” but as she said all of that, tried to make sure that Zelda would not be nursing some kind of hope that she would be able to bring back Link, Midna could hear how it had the exact opposite effect, the tone of her voice becoming a little lighter as she could not keep herself from imagining a situation where Zelda might be able to think of something neither she nor Ilia had thought about, something that would make Link stop looking at the harness like it might come to life and fly out to rescue Rusl if he just spent enough time with it.</p>
<p>Sending her a glance that almost made her feel like it might actually be the case, Zelda shrugged. “We will see.” with that last, cryptic comment, she went back to her lunch, almost like she had not left Midna to ponder the question of just what she could possibly be planning, what exactly she thought she could tell Link that Midna and Ilia had not tried already.</p>
<p>But, in the end, she found herself at a loss for answers, and, with Zelda not exactly looking like she would tell her about her plan, she gave up to instead turn her attention back towards her lunch. She would just have to wait and see what happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As it turned out, that moment arrived sooner than Midna would ever have dared to allow herself to hope for.</p>
<p>After Zelda disappeared the moment they had finished lunch, leaving Midna to wander aimlessly around the base, feeling how the familiar sense of anxiousness began to set in, the feeling that things were a little too peaceful, that something was going to happen soon to remind them that they were all living on borrowed time, she had expected for her to only be gone for a while. After all, over those last few days Midna had come to grow used to her almost constant presence, almost expecting for Zelda to ask a question about even the tiniest thing about the base, why they did not try to close off the entrance even a little by using the bedsheets as a makeshift wall the same way they had done to create Ilia’s workspace, how exactly people were chosen to be a member of the council. Although she would not quite admit to missing it, it was strange to look up to find that there was no one sitting next to her after she had gone to make sure that the Shadow would be able to get them to Hateno Village and back again, that Zelda was not two seconds away from asking her a question about just how the ship worked, how much weight it could carry, how they made sure that they would never exceed the limit once they brought back what they had taken during a mission. But Zelda did not return, the hours passing by with Midna growing increasingly annoyed at the fact that she continued to forget about how that they were not friends. They weren’t; Zelda could leave her alone for as long as she wanted to and Midna would still not have cared. They might have promised to make a fresh start, but that did not mean that they necessarily had to become friends, that they should be inseparable until the end of times. Truly, she could not have cared less about whether or not Zelda was wasting her time with her attempts at trying to talk with Link about something Midna doubted she fully understood.</p>
<p>So when she heard someone knock on the door that evening, the reason Midna almost leapt out of her chair was simply because she had grown used to the silence, the reason she hurried over to open up the door was that she did not want for Zelda to knock again, disturbing her peace.</p>
<p>“There you are, I was just beginning to wonder about whether—” Midna began. And then she fell silent.</p>
<p>For Zelda was not the only person standing outside her cabin. Next to her, standing between Zelda and Ilia, was Link.</p>
<p>As he saw her look down at him, the teasing smirk that had been tucking at her lips freezing in an instant, he shot her a small smile. “Hi.” his voice sounded hoarse, almost like he had not used it since the last time she had tried to talk with him. “It is good to see you.”</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” Midna did not mean to sound rude, but before she had a chance to stop herself, she already knew that it was too late to keep that from happening. The words were already out, hanging in the air between them.</p>
<p>Luckily, despite the way Zelda looked over at her, lifting a brow, almost like she could not believe that this was the way Midna would react, and how Ilia put her arm around Link’s shoulders like she wanted to comfort him, Link only shook his head at her. “Zelda came to talk to me. She told me that—well,” he shrugged, “to be honest I think a description such as ‘she ordered me to come back with her to sit down to eat dinner with you and Ilia’ would be the best to describe the conversation, but I know that Zelda would only interpret it as a sign that I was still trying my best to continue to isolate myself.”</p>
<p>“Because it would have been true!”</p>
<p>To Midna’s surprise, Link did not argue with that, instead sending Zelda a warm look, blinking at her as his smile grew a little, finally looking just halfway sincere. “Sure thing, Zelda.”</p>
<p>Resisting the urge to ask about just what had happened, Midna looked back and forth between them, trying her best to gauge just how much she had missed, when Link had begun to smile again after Rusl’s death without it looking forced. To tell the truth, she already knew that the answer would be, that, before right now, she had not seen it happen before, but it felt almost like she could not accept that. It was not that it hurt to see that he was growing closer to Zelda, but rather a matter of that smile being proof that, despite the years they had known each other, she had not been able to tell him what he had needed to hear back when Ilia had ordered her to go talk with him.</p>
<p>And yet, despite how she fought to prepare herself for the moment, Midna felt her stomach drop as Link gestured towards the room behind her, pointing towards the cabin.</p>
<p>With a little chuckle, still not looking away from Zelda, Link shrugged. “Well, no matter what, Zelda said that she would have to insist that Ilia and I should come to join the two of you for dinner.”</p>
<p>The question that waited just below the surface was obvious, but in that moment, Midna could honestly not make sense of any of what was happening. Just a few weeks ago, she had been alone, unable to talk with any of her friends or Zelda. Even the fact that Zelda seemed to have appointed herself as the one responsible for making sure that she was not alone all day was only something that had begun to feel like a habit a few days ago, but here Zelda was, having somehow managed to convince both Ilia and Link to come to her cabin to eat dinner together.</p>
<p>By all means, she should have been annoyed, looking at Zelda and wondering what had made her think that she had any right to make promises like that on her behalf, telling Link and Ilia that they would be welcome to come join them without first coming to tell Midna about it. And perhaps it was just yet another piece of evidence that Zelda seemed to have a gift for being able to make her way into people’s lives, slowly making sure that she had secured her place before she began to drag other people along with her, but with how she had not protested when Zelda had first invited herself into her room, Midna could not see a way for her to deny Link and Ilia the option to do the same, especially not with how Link already looked like he was five seconds away from brushing Ilia’s arm away and leaving them again.</p>
<p>So, rather than turning to face Zelda and ask her what she thought she was doing, Midna nodded. “Uh, of course. Zelda told me about it while we were eating lunch.” at that, Zelda at least had the sense to look embarrassed, but the sight of her staring at the tip of her boots did not make Midna feel as happy as it should have done. Trying not to think of it, Midna turned around to open the door up wider, having to raise her voice to make herself heard above the general noise and squeaking flooring as Zelda, Ilia, and Link all followed her into the cabin. “Now, I don’t have enough chairs for all of us, but if I stand, then maybe you and Link,” she looked at Ilia, “could share a chair and then—”</p>
<p>She had meant to offer Zelda the last chair, but before she got the chance to do so, Zelda had cut in, already moving towards the desk that had come to act the role of their dining table as well. “That is not a problem,” she announced as she reached out towards the heavy piece of furniture, “we can just pull it over here, and then Link and Ilia can take the chairs and we can just sit on your bed.”</p>
<p>Before Midna got the chance to object, Zelda had already placed her plate on top of the table and begun to try to pull the desk away from the wall, digging her boots into the floor as she fought to make the table move.</p>
<p>Raising a brow, Midna decided to wait a moment before letting Zelda know that that was not an option. It would be entertaining to see what she would do once she realised that the desk had been made to be able to sit inside the cabin of a ship that would sail through the air, making it necessary for it to be heavy enough so that it would not move just because the ship had been hit by a strong breeze.</p>
<p>However, the next moment, Midna saw that she should have been quicker to tell Zelda that she was not interested in that plan, for, almost like they had noticed the fact that she had very much suggested standing up because she did not want to be close to anyone, Link and Ilia stepped over to help Zelda in her quest to move the table that had to be almost as heavy as all three of them combined. With the three of them standing around the desk, Ilia counting to make sure they all lifted at the same time, it only took them a few seconds to move the table across the room, Zelda letting go of her side a little too early, the result being that Midna had to fight the instinct to cover her ears as the sound of wood meeting wood echoed through the room.</p>
<p>Almost like she had not been bothered by the sound at all, Zelda turned towards her and pointed in the direction of the bed. “Do you want to sit closest to the wall or would you rather sit on the other side?”</p>
<p>“The other side.” if there really was no other choice, then Midna could at least make sure that she would not be trapped between Zelda and a wall. When she realised that Zelda was waiting for her to climb in, Midna sent Ilia a glare, mentally begging her to offer to switch places with her, but either Ilia did not notice or—and Midna hoped that was the case—she was so busy looking over at Link, having her arm slung around his waist, that she chose to abandon Midna, leaving her to her fate, over losing her place next to Link. Midna would not have blamed her for that, not with the weeks they had spent without having been able to get Link to join them again.</p>
<p>Supressing a sigh, Midna hurried in, accepting the plate that Ilia slid across the table. Just minutes before, her stomach had rumbled at the thought of dinner, but now, the moment Zelda sat down next to her, the two of them only separated by a few centimetres of air, she found that she was not really hungry anymore. If it would have made it so that she could have left the room without it being blatantly obvious why, she would have given everything on her plate to Zelda, but as it was, she used the almost comforting feeling of cutting the food into tiny pieces, hoping that she could make the process of eating last longer, trick her stomach into not noticing the fact that Uli might have reduced the portions again, and, what felt like it was the most important part in that moment, to delay the moment where she would inevitably have to look up and face the fact that the silence in the room had reached the point of it becoming awkward a long time ago. If Zelda could sit next to her, eating with the air of someone who had just been served a banquet rather than a few pieces of bread and a thin slice of meat, Midna could ignore the almost suffocating feeling of knowing that they were all waiting for someone to say something, anything at all, that would allow them to bring an end to the awkwardness in the room.</p>
<p>In the end, that task landed on Zelda’s plate as she was the first of them to finish her dinner.</p>
<p>Placing the cutlery on the plate, the different pieces of metal clattering, she cleared her throat, her hand stopping halfway through the motion of reaching out for a napkin that did not exist as she looked at them. “I suppose that we all have an idea about why I asked the two of you to join us for dinner,” she said, looking over at Link and Ilia with a look that told them that, while it might not look like it, to Zelda, the sad meal they had just shared might as well have been a feast fit for a king, “to tell you the truth, I think that we could all use the opportunity to spend time with someone we know, to get a chance to talk about the things that makes us feel alone.”</p>
<p>Midna wanted to close her eyes, wanted to do anything to block out the fact that Zelda, despite how she might think that she was being vague, could not have made it any more obvious what she was talking about if she had looked directly over at Link while saying it, raising her eyebrows, but she already knew that it would only make it even worse. Why had she agreed to let them come into her cabin? She already knew the answer, how it had felt unjust to say no when Zelda had already done the impossible by even convincing Link to come to the ship with her and Ilia, but now, she found herself wishing that she had been able to kick her conscience into the corner and make sure that Zelda would know that talking about things were not exactly something they could afford the luxury of doing out here. Talking meant remembering, remembering meant the risk of losing your mind to the past, and that carried a risk of not being able to focus on the fight that staying alive was.</p>
<p>But it was not her duty to tell Zelda about any of that, and with how she could see Link tighten his grip around the fork, his knuckles turning white, Midna knew that it was only a matter of time before Zelda would find herself with no other choice but to learn that lesson quickly.</p>
<p>However, that was not what happened. Link did not look up at her, a lost look in his eyes making it apparent that he did not appreciate Zelda’s attempts at trying to make him tell them about the reasons for how he had disappeared for the last few weeks. As Midna watched, the pull at the corners of his mouth formed a smile rather than a frown, and while it was an expression laced with grief, it was a smile nonetheless.</p>
<p>“You are right.” Link’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but in the otherwise total silence, it sounded almost like he was yelling. “It is time to talk about it. Midna,” noticing how he turned to face her, Midna tried her best to sit up a bit straighter, attempted to hide the confusion on her face, “I am sorry. For everything, but especially for brushing you off back when you tried to talk to me. That goes for you too, Ilia. I should—” his voice broke, but no one said anything, instead waiting as Link reached up towards his eyes, furiously wiping away the tears. “I shouldn’t have stopped talking with you. That would not have been what Rusl would have wanted me to do.”</p>
<p>The food in her stomach felt like stone as Midna heard the name mentioned again. This was not what she had expected to happen when she had found them all standing outside the cabin. If that had been the case, she would never have allowed them to come inside, would never have allowed herself to put herself in a situation where she might be forced to talk about Rusl without any way of escaping it, having to listen to Zelda’s attempts at making them all open up when she would prefer to just shove it all away. It was one thing to try to cheer up her friends, but as Midna cast a short glance at Zelda and saw the way she was nodding along to Link’s words, clearly doing her best to seem empathetic—or, some tiny part of her mind kept on insisting, maybe she was not pretending to understand anything, maybe she really did know what it felt like—she knew that she would not be satisfied until she had got them all to share their feelings with each other.</p>
<p>Clenching her jaw and shoving her hands into her pockets to keep the others from seeing how she could not stop shaking, Midna tried to clear her mind, staring directly ahead and seeing nothing at all. They could not make her say anything. If she preferred to keep it all inside, then she would continue to do so, no matter how brightly Zelda smiled at Link, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.</p>
<p>And continue Link did. Reaching out to take Ilia’s hand, he smiled to himself, almost like he was transported back in time as he looked up again. “Did you know that it was Rusl who taught me how to read?” he shook his head. “He saw me looking at the books he and Uli had been able to save during the destruction and asked me if I wanted to read them. When I found myself with no other choice than to admit that I did not know how to, he made sure to set aside time to teach me how to. He said that I was a natural talent, that I was able to pick it up so quickly that he could barely understand it, but, looking back, I am sure he only said it to keep me from thinking too much about the fact that Colin was sitting right next to me, already able to read simple sentences when I was still trying to figure out how to spell my own name.”</p>
<p>Midna had not known that. Glancing over at Link, she tried her best not to pay too much attention to how the grief in his eyes had, for a moment, given way to make room for the joy of the memory. It did not mean anything. So Link had a happy memory of Rusl, that did not change the fact that no amount of reminiscing about what was lost would ever be able to bring anyone back. It never had. All it would ever achieve was increasing the danger of getting stuck in the past.</p>
<p>However, as she looked around, trying to gauge whether there was anyone in the room who might have agreed with her, Midna could not deny the fact that she might very well be the only one who felt that way with the way Zelda smiled at him, almost as if to encourage him, and how Ilia leant over towards Link, moving like she was drawn in by the story. While Midna would not have claimed to be so naïve that she would have thought that that could be the end of it, that Zelda might finally be satisfied with her project of trying to make them all share their memories of Rusl, she still sent Ilia a disappointed glare, feeling how the swiftness of the motion made something hurt in her neck, as her friend gave in to the pull of Zelda’s ideas as well.</p>
<p>“I think he taught me to read as well. To be honest, I don’t remember that much from my life before, but with how my father was the mayor back in Ordon Village, I don’t think he had the time to teach me how to. But that still is not what I truly remember Rusl for. To me, he will most likely always be the one who made sure that we would be able to survive. Had it not been for how he was able to spot the ships minutes before the rest of us would ever have become aware of their presence, I doubt that any of us would have been able to escape the destruction at all, but he did, he warned as many people as he could, and told us all to hide in the forest. To be honest, there were a couple of minutes there where I thought that he would not make it out himself, for he waited until the last moment to abandon the village and join the rest of us.”</p>
<p>“Wait, I thought that it was a coincidence that you had not been in the village that day.”</p>
<p>Midna had not meant to say anything, and yet, she found herself unable to stay quiet, the words almost feeling like they would choke her if she did not allow them to be heard. All this time, she had thought that the survivors had just been exceptionally lucky that day, and now, it would appear that all of that was really Rusl’s doing. As she thought about it, it felt almost ridiculous to think that she had never considered that before, had never connected the dots and realised just why no one, not even Jaggle or Bo, who by all means should have objected to losing his position as the mayor, had ever said anything about the fact that Rusl had sat down at the end of the table in the meeting room. After all, she had known that they listened to her and Link because they looked at them and saw the strangers who had appeared when they had needed them the most, landing their ship next to the ruins of their old homes and offering them the opportunity to create a new one, so why the thought that the same might be the case for Rusl had never struck her, Midna could not understand in that moment.</p>
<p>Ilia sent her a look that seemed almost as surprised as Midna felt. “I thought you knew. I mean, with how much time you spent with Rusl, I had assumed that he would have told you.”</p>
<p>She was not trying to make her feel worse. That was what Midna tried to tell herself. Ilia had not chosen the words specifically to make her question whether she had ever known Rusl at all, she would never do that. But no matter how many times Midna tried to tell herself that, it was, nevertheless, what it felt like, the reason why her chest hurt slightly as she opened her mouth, willing her voice not to tremble as she responded. “Yeah, so would I.”</p>
<p>The temperature in the room fell, Midna at once having to fight to stay still rather than shaking despite the coat that had been able to keep her somewhat warm only moments before. This was the exact reason for why she had not wanted to talk about Rusl. He was gone. All they would do now would only serve to ruin the memories they had of him.</p>
<p>Glancing between them and seeing how her brilliant plan of making them open up was threatened by the silence in the room, Zelda placed her hands on the table, the tone of her voice giving away the fact that her carefree expression was really just a mask, a way to try to save the situation. “I am sure that Rusl must have thought that you knew already, that someone else had told you. That, or he assumed that you had been able to guess it. I mean, I doubt he would just go around telling everyone about how he was the person responsible for saving the residents of Ordon; that was not the impression I had of him.”</p>
<p>It was a weak excuse, especially as Link had not appeared to have any reaction to the story, not showing any signs of being surprised, but Midna was willing to accept it. Anything to try to convince herself that she had known Rusl at all. “Yes,” she said, “I suppose that might be the case.”</p>
<p>She did not have to look over at Zelda to know that she supressed a relieved sigh, her plan having just been saved, before speaking once more. “Personally, I know that I never got the chance to know Rusl the way you must have, but he was still among some of the first people here who seemed to grow used to my presence. To tell the truth, I think I was a bit surprised when he just told me about how the harnesses functioned, that he did not think twice before telling me about what the lines hanging from the sides of the ship were intended for.” Zelda let the sentence trail off, but there was no need to finish it. With how the words felt almost like they were chosen specifically to get to her, she might as well have stared at Midna through it all.</p>
<p>They had promised each other to make a fresh start. That was what Midna tried to remind herself of. If Zelda was trying to make her feel bad about her behaviour during the first months of knowing each other, she would be wasting her time. Besides, Midna knew that she had been justified in being clear about how little she had trusted her. No matter what happened, no matter how many times Zelda had since then proved to perhaps be the one among them who seemed the most intent on overthrowing the king, it was only natural to be wary when finding the princess of Hyrule aboard the Shadow. Blindly trusting the person who was the second in line to the Hyrulean throne wold not only have been stupid; it would have been so naïve that it would have bordered on self-destructive.</p>
<p>And yet, as she told herself that, Midna could feel how she pulled her shoulders upwards, almost like she was expecting an attack as she looked around at the table and noted how they were all looking towards her.</p>
<p>Finally, Zelda brought an end to the uncomfortable silence. With a little motion, almost like she had been about to reach out to take her hand to mirror the way Link and Ilia were sitting across from them, only to stop halfway through, she gestured towards her. “What about you, Midna?”</p>
<p>“What about me?” she knew what they were waiting for, how they were all expecting for her to pour her heart out, to share her most treasured memory with them, but that did not mean that she would ever give in, that she would begin to dig into the chest, letting the spirits escape. If that was what they wanted, they would have to wait for the rest of their lives, for she would never begin to move backwards. Time forced them to continue to move forwards, and Midna knew that trying to fight that would only bring heartbreak to anyone who made an attempt.</p>
<p>Maybe Link and Ilia realised that their attempts at making them all find a shared past in reminiscing about Rusl would be a waste of time, for they remained quiet.</p>
<p>The same, however, could not be said for Zelda.</p>
<p>Reaching out to take Midna’s hand, this time not stopping the movement halfway through, she looked almost like she might be able to understand her hesitance to share her memories of Rusl with them. But that impression was shattered the next moment, as Zelda tried her best to pull her hand back, making Midna follow along, giving Zelda the opportunity to bring her other hand up to fully envelop her hand as she spoke. “You must have something about Rusl you want to share as well.” it was not a question, Midna could hear that, even without seeing how Zelda lifted a brow. “Because, if you do, you can share it with us.”</p>
<p>The way she tightened her grip on her hand should not have been as comforting as it was. More than anything, Midna wished that she could just brush it off, withdraw her hand and let Zelda see that, sometimes, no amounts of trying to make herself believe that there might be more to a gang of people attacking ships and refusing to help anyone in the kingdoms who might find themselves in the same situation as the one they were trying to escape would be able to change that they really were just that—people focusing on their own survival and leaving everyone else to their own fight to stay alive without providing any help.</p>
<p>But as she looked around at the table and saw how they were all looking at her, Ilia sending her a nod as they made eye contact, Midna could not bring herself to shatter the childish sense of optimism Zelda almost seemed to exude. “I suppose,” she began, hoping that they would not view it as her giving in to the effect of Zelda gazing at her with such intensity in her eyes that it made her feel almost like she was all that mattered in that moment, “that Rusl was the first person… he—I—I think I might have looked at him and thought that—if I still had a father, I would want him to be just like Rusl.” it was not the entire truth, but it was all she was willing to share with them. Sending a glance towards Zelda, hoping it would be harsh, but already knowing that it was not the case, Midna cocked her head. “Happy now?”</p>
<p>“No.” Zelda shook her head. “But that was also not what my hope for all of this was.”</p>
<p>And as much as Midna wanted to claim that Zelda’s plan had been an undeniable failure, as the conversation continued around her, Zelda having a surprising amount of stories to share considering how little time she had been able to spend with Rusl, the mental image of Rusl trying to explain the harnesses to Zelda did bring a smile to her lips. But only a little one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have the main group trying their best to work through the grief, as impossible as it might seem for them in the moment.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zelda was not there.</p>
<p>Finding herself tapping the side of the plate with her fork, beating an unsure rhythm, Midna tried her best to convince herself that she did not care about where she was. If Zelda had decided to leave her alone again, what reasons would Midna have for missing her company? All she had really done was bringing an end to the silence that Midna had been able to enjoy before, seeming unwilling to accept the fact that she preferred to be left alone. There was no reason or her to continue to look towards the door of the cabin, waiting for Zelda to open it, seemingly finding a great sense of fulfilment in the way they were already past the point where she would at least take the time to knock before barging into the room. As annoying as it was, Midna still found herself waiting for the moment, unable to turn her attention back towards her food.</p>
<p>She was not going to be able to eat until she had found out where Zelda was. It was a frustrating truth, but a truth nonetheless.</p>
<p>So, pushing the chair back, the annoyance flaring up at the sound of the wood squeaking slightly as she stood up, Midna gave up on trying to forget about Zelda to instead go out to look for her. What did Zelda think she was doing, creating a habit where Midna had to grow used to having to endure her presence through every meal, having to hide the fact that the little smiles and glances Zelda would send her way as they ate were some of the most frustrating things she knew with how she never knew how to react, if she should return the gesture or ignore it?</p>
<p>The fear that maybe something had happened, that Zelda might be in a situation where she was unable to make her way onto the ship, pressed on, refusing to leave her alone despite how she tried to push it away. The base was not exactly a place where it was possibly to become so injured that it would be able to keep Zelda from at the very least informing Midna of how she would not eat dinner with her. She was fine, Midna had to believe that. This was most likely all some kind of plan, Zelda’s way of trying to make Midna think that she missed her. If that was the case, Zelda would have to try harder, for as Midna made her way below deck, the only feeling whirling through her mind was that of annoyance, frustration that Zelda could not even ask someone to tell her that she would have to eat dinner alone. With how Link had returned to their side after the conversation about Rusl, Midna knew that he would not have hesitated to tell her about how she would have to eat alone if Zelda had asked him to. No, the only explanation for all of this was that Zelda was trying to make Midna admit to missing her, a plan that was not working at all.</p>
<p>Perhaps Midna paused in front of the door leading into Zelda’s room for a moment before she raised her hand to knock on it. If she did, was it really so strange? After all, she would have to show Zelda that she was better than her, that she was only coming down here to tell her that she was doing fine on her own.</p>
<p>That was when she heard it, the sound of muffled sobs.</p>
<p>From the way she could only barely hear it as she stood there, Midna knew that, had it not been for the fact that wooden doors on a ship meant the ability to sail through the clouds, making it possible for the captain to have everyone up on the deck within seconds of spotting a potentially hostile ship in the distance, she would not have noticed it. Even as she pressed her ear to the door, the sobs were still barely audible, the person on the other side clearly doing their best not to make a sound.</p>
<p>Zelda, she was the one who was there on the other side of the door. It felt almost unnatural to connect what she was hearing with the image of her. With how she had mastered the stoic expression, constantly displaying frightening levels of idealism by insisting that they would be able to overthrow a king, Midna might have assumed that she was incapable of experiencing the range of emotions that might leave someone crying in their room while trying not to be heard, but the sound of someone struggling to breathe, constantly interrupted by sobs, made it evident how that was not the case.</p>
<p>Midna pushed the door open, almost feeling like she did not have any right to be there, like she was intruding, what she probably also was. Had the roles been reversed, had she been the one to cry and try to muffle the sound by crying into her quilt, Midna knew that she would have preferred for everyone to leave her alone, but even though she was aware of how she should turn around and leave before Zelda would get the chance to look at her and ask what she was doing there, she could not make herself turn around.</p>
<p>“Zelda?” her voice made her sound smaller, almost like she was asking her for permission to be there, to walk around on her own ship. “Is—what is wrong?”</p>
<p>A sniffle, Zelda’s shoulders rising up to her ears, and then she had turned around to face Midna.</p>
<p>She looked horrible. Midna was barely able to keep herself from taking a step backwards, losing courage, as she saw how Zelda’s eyes were red and puffy, making sure that she would not be able to fool herself into thinking that she had only been crying like this for a few minutes.</p>
<p>“Midna?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” going against what the rational side of her told her to do, Midna stepped towards her. “It is me.”</p>
<p>An unsure look made its way onto Zelda’s face, only to be replaced with panic as she began to struggle to move off the bed, tears still streaming down her face as she tried to recover her balance. “Nayru, what time is it? I missed dinner, didn’t I—Midna, I am so sorry, I—”</p>
<p>“Hey, hey. Don’t apologise.” Midna did not realise that she had moved until she was crouching down next to the bed, taking Zelda’s hand. “It is not your fault.”</p>
<p>“But I forgot about dinner—”</p>
<p>“And so have I done plenty of times. It is really not that big of a deal.” ignoring the urge to brush her thumb across Zelda’s knuckles, Midna forced herself to seem calm, like she had not been only a few seconds away from throwing the door open to ask her what she was doing, why she had abandoned her now, after Midna had found herself in a situation where she had no other choice than to begin to talk about Rusl even though she would have preferred to forget him. “Really, I am sure that Uli will understand that you did not go to pick up your portion in time.”</p>
<p>But that only made Zelda begin to cry again. Shoulders shaking in a way that made Midna aware of just how little she had understood, Zelda shook her head. “No, that wasn’t what I meant—although, oh, Nayru, I also have to apologise to her—but I was actually referring to how I failed to show up for dinner.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Midna let out the word more as a breath than anything else. So Zelda had not failed to show up as some part of a plan to make her miss her, nor had she simply forgot about her. “Well, I barely noticed it at all. I mean,” she hurried to add, already hearing how that must have sounded to Zelda, “I was wondering where you were, but, really, it was not something that made me annoyed or anything like that. Besides, even if it was, it would still have been perfectly understandable if you had chosen to stay here.” even as she said it, Midna could hear that she did not really mean it. She wanted to feel nothing at the thought, wanted to assure Zelda that everything would be fine if she just left her alone again, but as she tried to picture sitting down to eat alone again, she found that it made her want to cry.</p>
<p>Seeing Zelda look up at her, an undecipherable twinkle in her eyes, however, made it all feel a little better, knowing that she might finally have said the right thing as Zelda tilted her head to the side. “You thought about me?”</p>
<p>“Obviously, seeing as I am here. You know, I would be a poor pirate if I was not aware of my surroundings and tried to look for patterns in the behaviour of those around me.”</p>
<p>At that, Zelda looked back down, and although Midna waited for her to respond, waited for her to say anything at all, she remained quiet.</p>
<p>Deciding that it had apparently become her task to ask about the obvious thing, Midna cocked her head, giving Zelda’s hand a little squeeze, trying to convince her that she could tell the truth. “Zelda, may I ask… what is wrong? Why were you crying when I entered the room?”</p>
<p>And for a moment, Midna thought she would get an answer, thought that the way Zelda looked at her, her eyes almost seeming to gauge her reaction to what she might say, was a sign that she was trying to find the right words. She truly believed that, despite everything that had happened between them, Zelda would actually be interested in sharing her thoughts with her. It was a ridiculous idea, but that did not keep herself from foolishly believing that it could be true, a fact that only made the sight of Zelda shaking her head hurt even more.</p>
<p>“I—” Zelda began, making a little sound, almost like the words caught in her throat, “I would prefer not to talk about it.”</p>
<p>Midna tried her best to hide her disappointment, but even then, she could tell that it slipped through, into her voice, into her expression. “Oh. Well, all right then. I am sorry I asked.” she waited for a moment, almost sure that Zelda would act like herself and end up talking after a few seconds of silence, but it seemed to not be the case, so, with a shrug, Midna tried her best not to let her feelings show. “Would you want me to leave you alone?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>It felt like her heart dropped, but Midna had been the one to suggest it, so she knew that she had no right to feel hurt by that. Instead, she hurried to stand up, letting go of Zelda’s hand like it had burnt her. “Very well,” she said, making sure that her tone carried an icy edge, “I will make sure to do that. If you want to talk to me or begin to eat dinner with me again, you know where to find me.”</p>
<p>Zelda might have tried to say something to her, might have begun to reach out for her once more, but Midna did not hear it, only focusing on leaving the room as quickly as possible. She could feel the spirits reaching out towards her, and if Zelda believed that she could make Midna stay in there for another second than what was absolutely necessary, she would have to learn that that was not the case quickly. Besides, if Zelda was upset, that was not Midna’s problem. Once Zelda might want to talk to someone about it, she had plenty of people to go to, Midna only had to recall the way Zelda had seemingly been able to charm Ilia within only a few hours, making her allow her to help her with Epona, to know that. She would be fine.</p>
<p>That was what Midna tried to convince herself of as she made her way back up to her cabin, but it did not keep her dinner from tasting like nothing at all, something she knew she could not blame on the blandness of the ingredients themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If Midna had doubted that the conversation between herself, Zelda, Ilia, and Link had been able to pull Link back to them and away from the despair that had made him sit with the harnesses day after day, she would only have to look over at where he and Ilia were sitting.</p>
<p>They had been supposed to work on Epona, or at least that was what Ilia had told her when she had knocked on the door to her cabin, claiming that she would need someone to help her hold a heavy part of the engine. Even if Midna had not already been able to remind her of how she and Link would most likely only slow her down, she would still have been able to tell from the look Ilia sent the inside of the room, clearly noting the way the plates were stacked on the desk after Midna had not found the energy to take them back to the kitchen, that the real purpose of the order for her to sit down and hand Ilia the parts she would need was really to have a way to make sure that she would not make the same mistake as Link had and try to shut them out. And, given how Midna had not really been able to convince herself that what she was doing was really all that different when compared to Link’s isolation, she had not been able to think of a good enough argument to make Ilia leave her alone, something that had now brought her here, sitting with a piece of a metal pipe and feeling incredibly stupid as Ilia and Link laughed along to something Ilia had said, both of them looking at the engine and drawings in front of them, Link managing to make it seem almost like he might have had any idea about what they were doing.</p>
<p>Maybe it was not all pretence. Maybe he did actually understand what Ilia meant when she gestured towards a part of the engine, saying a lot of words Midna was rationally able to connect with different parts of her ship, able to associate with the mechanics behind the rudder, but that still sounded like a lot of words without meaning to her. Midna supposed that she could not rule out that explanation, not with how it was becoming increasingly obvious that she was only there with them because Ilia had seemingly decided that, in Zelda’s absence, the task of trying to make sure that they would not allow Midna to isolate herself when she felt sad belonged to her.</p>
<p>Almost like she wanted to prove her suspicions, Ilia laughed before leaning over to press a kiss to Link’s lips, the two of them looking like they were the only ones there. With how Midna was staring directly ahead, a blank look in her eyes, that might also have been the case. At least that was what it felt like to her in that moment, an undeniable feeling of being out of place as Ilia and Link redirected their attention back towards the task at hand, still unable to not constantly giggle at something the other had said, leaving Midna to wonder if it would perhaps not have been better if she had simply told Ilia that she was not interested in helping her work on Epona. It felt like that was the case right then.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She did not get much of a chance to wallow in self-pity. Of course she didn’t. If Ilia had decided to take it upon herself to try to include Midna, seemingly believing that it would be enough for all three of them to forget about the weeks of not truly talking with each other that had followed Rusl’s death, Link had accepted the task of doing everything he could possibly have done to keep her from being sad. And as much as Midna would have loved to tell him that it was not necessary, that she was doing perfectly fine on her own and that he could just go back to spend time with Ilia, to enjoy life now that Zelda had seemingly been able to succeed where both Midna and Ilia had failed and convinced him to join them once more, to claim that she was doing great, that she was not finding herself looking back on the Shadow every other second, wondering if she should have done more to try to help Zelda, all of that would have been the same as lying. But still, admitting that was not the same as saying that she needed anyone’s help or sympathy, for she really did not. She had been able to make it through several months on her own before finding Link, so although she could understand and relate to the need to make sure that the other was safe, she did not need his help.</p>
<p>But it would appear that Link did not understand that, for the very same day, just a few hours after she had finally thought of an excuse that would give her permission to leave Link and Ilia behind to instead head deeper into the base, wandering through the corridors as she tried to shake the feeling of wasting her time, the sense that she was not doing enough anymore by simply staying alive, he managed to find her just as she had stepped into the larder to count the number of crates, sacks, and boxes of food that were still left inside the room.</p>
<p>“Midna.”</p>
<p>She heard him before she saw him, keeping her gaze fixed on the sacks of flour right in front of her, pretending that she had not already counted the amount of sacks present, the number being low enough for it to be a matter of only a few seconds used each time.</p>
<p>It would be better to turn around and acknowledge his presence, Midna knew that. She knew that ignoring him and delaying the inevitable would only serve to strengthen his belief that she was in need of his and Ilia’s help, but she simply could not bring herself to care. What could happen? She had already sat with them and listened to how great Zelda’s tactic of talking about those they had lost was. Even if Link was about to head directly into what they both knew was dangerous territory, it would be the exact same thing, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself, trying to convince her mind that it would not be so frightening if that was the case. The past could not harm her, not if she did not let it get the chance to do so.</p>
<p>Behind her, Midna could hear Link let out a sigh, clearly frustrated that she might be even worse than him when it came to handling emotions. “Midna, I was wondering… well, I was wondering if you were all right.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Midna said, hoping that she had managed to at least hide the obvious lie somewhat, “why would I not be?” even the shrug was not enough to hide how that had not even come close to being the truth, Midna knew that the next moment, but she bit her lip, trying to keep herself from messing up even more. Why was she acting like this? She had no reason to be unhappy, nothing had changed over those last few days, and yet, the more time that passed, the more she found herself feeling sad about something she could not define but that her mind was whispering ideas about, something she did her best to ignore.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Link hesitated, and Midna could almost see how he was standing, attempting to dig the tip of his boot into the solid, stone floor beneath them. “I was just thinking that it looked a bit like you were bottling up your feelings.”</p>
<p>Midna allowed for the words to echo in her mind. Bottling up her feelings. She supposed it might very well be what she was doing. After all, that was the easiest way to handle things that were difficult, and she was all about finding the easy, cowardly option every time, was she not? If it was something that hurt, something that was not just a broken bone or a scrape that would heal with time, something that made her want to sit down and cry for days, she shoved it into the chest, slammed the lid shut, and hoped that it would stay in there. The more she thought about it, the more Midna found that Link’s description of how she was bottling up her feelings might be more correct than he had known. But telling him that would be the same as outright giving him permission to try to comfort her, to make her feel better, and no matter how many years she might have known him, no matter how good Link might otherwise be at knowing what to do, Midna knew that the art of trying to make her feel better about things she knew very well should have stopped hurting a long time ago was not one of his talents.</p>
<p>With a tiny chuckle she hoped sounded even a little sincere but feared was exactly as fake as it felt like it should be, Midna turned around and looked at him. “I suppose I might be.”</p>
<p>Link nodded, almost like he had expected for her to say that, and in that moment, Midna could not help but wish that she could take back the words, that she could have denied everything, if that would be what it would have taken for her to not look at Link and know that he wanted to make her feel happy again, clearly recalling how Zelda had handled the similar situation of Link having decided to isolate himself.</p>
<p>But, of course, that was not possible, and, with a look in his eyes that told her that he was, despite their years of being friends, thinking back to his own conversation with all of them in Midna’s cabin, reaching the conclusion that, since it had worked for him to talk with someone, the same would be the case for Midna, Link opened his mouth and spoke. “It is about Zelda, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Despite how she had done her very best to prepare herself for anything he might have said, for a moment, Midna found herself unable to do anything other than stare at him, all too aware of how she had yet to respond, how the silence was dragging on, growing more and more awkward with each passing second until she finally found the strength to force out a couple of words. “Excuse me?”</p>
<p>Seemingly taking her response as a sign he had been right, Link nodded towards her like her dumbfounded response was enough to prove his point. “Zelda. I couldn’t help but notice how you did not really participate in the conversation about Epona at all, and with how Zelda wasn’t there, well, Ilia and I were wondering if maybe that was the reason.”</p>
<p>She should stay quiet. It was the only rational thing to do. Midna already knew that the moment she would open her mouth to let the annoyance that had filled her during those hours she had sat with the part for the steam engine and watched as both Ilia and Link seemed to think of anything but the ship be put into words, nothing she would possible be able to think of later would be enough to convince Link that she was doing fine. But, despite how she bit her lip and tried to push down the feeling, she already knew that it would not work, and so, after only a few seconds of fighting, she had to admit defeat and let out the answer that was already struggling to make itself heard. “And how do you know that?” Midna was aware of the edge in her voice, how she was being unnecessarily mean, but as Link simply sent her a confused look, almost like he truly had no idea about what she was referring to, Midna found that it was not enough to keep her from continuing, her voice growing a bit colder as the anger became warmer, the two forces coming together in her chest. “No, seriously, when did you notice any of this? Because from what I remember, both you and Ilia seemed a bit too preoccupied with staring into each other’s eyes to pay attention to me and how I was feeling.”</p>
<p>“Staring into each other’s eyes,” Link parroted, a crease appeared between his brows, “Midna, what do you mean that…” Midna had expected many things, for Link to become angry, for him to try to apologise, but what actually happened was not one of the scenarios she had thought of, not when Link smiled down at her, the corners of his mouth being pulled upwards into a smile that felt entirely inappropriate considering the situation, “Midna, what are you talking about? Ilia and I barely exchanged a word that was not related to the ship.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it is also a bit difficult to talk while you are kissing one another,” Midna retorted. With how warm her cheeks felt, the sensation being almost like the one time she had had to evacuate the ship after they had lost control of the firebox, pure luck being all that kept the entirety of her past from being transformed into ashes as luck would have it that they had landed on water, allowing for them to use the water to put out the fire, she knew that she must be blushing. This was not what she had wanted to happen for this conversation. She had not even wanted to talk about what had happened or how she was doing, but if she had to, then the topic of Link and Ilia’s relationship would definitely have to be one of the worst subjects for her to talk about.</p>
<p>But it would appear that Link did not agree with her on that, for he simply chuckled and reached out to lean against one of the shelves, almost like he thought that the conversation was hilarious and not mortifyingly awkward. “Wait, to you it felt like we were kissing all the time?” the expression on Midna’s face must have been enough to answer the question, for Link did not give her the chance to respond, instead continuing. “Midna, we did not kiss at all, not even once.”</p>
<p>“You did, I saw you! You were completely lost to the world, only seeing each other. I had to say Ilia’s name multiple times to get her to realise that I was trying to hand her a part to the ship.”</p>
<p>Link simply shook his head, the action making his hair come even closer to resembling a bird’s nest. “Because she was busy trying to explain to me what she was doing. Really, Midna, I am sure you can ask anyone who passed through the hangar, and they would all tell you what I am saying right now—that Ilia and I were focusing on Epona and nothing else. I mean, why wouldn’t we? That ship might become important to us someday if we ever find ourselves in a situation where we need a quick way to escape, so why would we not try our best to remain focused when we are trying to assemble what is perhaps the most important part of it, the engine? No, what I really think is interesting is why you were thinking that we were busy staring into each other’s eyes. Because those thoughts have to have come from somewhere, don’t they, Midna?”</p>
<p>She could feel the trap around her, how he was seconds away from saying something that would make her wish she could go back in time to change her answer. Midna supposed that the fact she could still not see just what the trap consisted of, only knowing that she was about to take a step forward to feel the rope tighten around her foot, pulling her upwards until she was dangling upside down from a tree just like how Rusl had once shoved her happened to a rabbit when they stepped into one of his traps, was really just yet another piece of evidence that Zelda was beginning to infect her with her sense of naïveté. But, seeing as there was no other way out, that she could look at Link and know for a fact that he was not about to give in and agree that it really did not matter all that much, she had no choice other than to step forward and hope that the pull of the trap would not be enough to injure her too much.</p>
<p>With a shrug that felt incredibly tense, Midna prepared herself for what Link might say next, making sure that the façade was ready, in place to hide any trace of emotion that might flicker across her face. “I suppose you might be right. But then what do you think it is?” Midna had meant for it to sound nonchalant, to prove to Link that, no matter what he might think, she could not have cared less about what answer he might try to convince her was the truth, but as she finished the sentence, stepping backwards, into the shelf, feeling how the corner of the crate pushed against her spine, she found that she could not claim not to care, not without lying at least. It was lucky for her that she was not above lying though, for she already had the words ready, waiting on the tip of her tongue, prepared to be used to try to make Link stop pretending to be Zelda, to stop trying to copy her tactic of how to make people talk.</p>
<p>And maybe Link had figured out that Midna was not impressed by his imitation of Zelda, for, instead of outright answering, he sent her a long look that Midna was not sure what to think of, the look in his eyes changing until it seemed almost saddened for a second. “I am not sure,” he said, at last bringing an end to the uncomfortable silence that had rested between them, “but I hope that you might find out soon, because I don’t like seeing you like this.”</p>
<p>By all means, Midna should have been happy, ecstatic even, quick to seize the opportunity to say that he was right and then leave. But despite how her mind was yelling at her to do exactly that, there was something about the way Link had said the words, a layer of something she could not quite define hiding just below the surface, that made her hesitate, stepping closer to the subject she could already now tell would be dangerous rather than running away from it as she let her voice drop to a low whisper. “And just what do you mean by that?” she had wanted it to be the question that would make certain that Link would not ask such questions again, the thing that would remind him that she was doing just fine and that, if anything, any change in her behaviour should be blamed on the fact that Rusl had died, that he had no right to criticise her for it when he himself had disappeared for weeks, but she could hear that she was failing to make her voice sound cold enough, the words sounding more like an honest attempt at finding answers rather than a barely concealed hint for him to stop, to step back and give her space. “You said that you don’t like seeing me like this, so I am sure that you must have noticed specific things about my behaviour that have made you say that.”</p>
<p>“I—” Link closed his mouth, clearly regretting having ever said it in the first place, “I… forget it. I didn’t mean anything by it.”</p>
<p>Maybe that would have worked a few moments earlier. Maybe she would have accepted that explanation if he had tried it just a couple of minutes before. But by now, Midna was well aware of the fact that it was not the case, and despite how she knew that it was best this way, that she should be happy to just conclude that maybe it really was nothing and then leave the room, she could not leave now, not when she was so close to perhaps figuring out what those glances Ilia and Link had sent her way lately had meant. And so, although she knew that she was about to make a mistake, she continued, pressing on for an explanation. “No, go on. I do actually want to know what you are talking about.”</p>
<p>It was clear that Link did not want to do that, however, the way he began to move his foot, almost like he was trying to use the tip of his boot to dig into the floor, making that absolutely clear to her, but Midna simply continued to stare at him, knowing that, sooner or later, he would have to give in to, if nothing else, keep the almost suffocating silence around them from growing and filling the entire room.</p>
<p>She was right, and only a couple of seconds later, Link let out a sigh. “I was just thinking that… well... goddesses, I don’t know what to say.” he shrugged. “Uh, not that we have been talking about you a lot, but Ilia and I just could not help but notice that you have seemed happier lately. A bit more energetic, sometimes enough to make you smile a tiny bit. We—we could not help but wonder about the cause for all of that.”</p>
<p>Her stomach felt almost like when she dove into the air, letting the harness and line catch her, and Midna was glad she had thought to make sure that her face was a carefully constructed mask, able to hide all of it as she responded with a carefully rehearsed off-hand voice. “Oh. Well, with how much the two of you seem to have noticed lately, I am sure you already have a theory about what has caused all of this.” Link’s expression, the way his eyes widened for a split second before he was able to regain control of himself once more betrayed him, confirming the thought, and Midna continued, feeling how she was slowly beginning to regain control of the situation again. “Please, enlighten me. I would love to know the reason for why I seem happier lately. Maybe that way, I can make sure that I will never have to feel sad again.”</p>
<p>“Uh, we haven’t exactly been able to confirm anything,” Link looked away, but as much as Midna wanted for that to be a lie, wanted to be able to look at him and know that he knew what was to blame for her supposed happiness, she could not spot any sings of him lying to her, so she stayed quiet, allowing him to continue, “but we were thinking that, back before Rusl disappeared, you acted a lot differently than you had done before.”</p>
<p>“So I was happier before Rusl died?” Midna did not have to fake the confused look she knew was written across her face, did not have to make certain that her voice echoed the question. “Is that really all? Because if that is the case, then let me tell you that it is not exactly some great puzzle why that was the case—every single one within this base was happier before Rusl died.”</p>
<p>“No,” Link, shook his head before seemingly realising what he had just said and hurrying to add, “I mean, I am not arguing with that, of course not, but it just feels like it is about more than just Rusl. We did not just notice this after he was captured; you changed before that, became a little happier. But once Rusl died, all of that disappeared again.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, because he died.” Midna barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that it would only give Link even more reasons to try to figure out why his imitation of the way Zelda was able to reach anyone was not working right now. “That is what happens when people lose someone they care about—they become sad and feel lost.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I know that, and I am not trying to argue that that is not the case. But, Midna, would you say that you are in any way feeling better about the fact that Rusl is gone and that he will not come back to us again?”</p>
<p>It felt almost like hitting the deck of a ship, the harness not having been able to slow her fall enough, leaving her with a ringing noise in her ears as she tried to breathe, knowing that she only had a second to get back up before the captain of the ship would be aware of her presence and try to defend everything in the storeroom. Was Link really asking if she had stopped grieving Rusl? It seemed to be the case, but even then, Midna hesitated to believe her ears, kept herself from thinking that that was really the case. For, as much as the evidence seemed to point in that direction, she could not believe that Link, the person who had isolated himself for weeks, continuing to inspect the harnesses of the Shadow out of some kind of idea that he might be able to retroactively prevent Rusl from dying, prevent him from being captured and taken back to the capital, was standing here, asking her if she was still grieving.</p>
<p>“Of course I am not feeling better,” Midna hissed, her vision becoming blurry as tears began to stream down her face, “of course I still think about him, of course I still miss him. How could you even ask….?” as she spoke, there was something about it all that felt wrong, and although she fought not to think of it, Midna could still recall the way she had looked at Rusl back when he had first admitted to trusting the princess who had sneaked her way onto the ship, what she had told him. Midna could only hope that Rusl, wherever he was now, would know that she had not meant it, that the only reason she would ever have told him that, should anything happen to him, she would not mourn him was that she had never, not even if her nightmares, imagined a world where he would not still be there with them. It was selfish, so incredibly selfish, to think like that, to hope that he might still be alive when she knew just what that would mean for him, all because she wanted to get a chance to tell him that she was sorry.</p>
<p>Link must have been able to read at least some of her emotions, Midna feeling how her façade slipped for a moment, for he was quick to step towards her, almost like he wanted to pull her into an embrace before stopping himself at the last moment to instead try to make it all right again, the words rushing towards her like the wind when she stood on the deck of the Shadow as he shook his head. “No, Midna, that wasn’t what I meant. I know—everyone does, of course we do.”</p>
<p>She hated the way he was able to make it sound like he was genuinely sorry for having made her cry. It would have been so much easier to just convince herself that all of this could be blamed on Link and a few poorly chosen words. That way, she would have been able to distance herself from everything that hurt. But, no matter how much she tried to do just that, fact was that she couldn’t, instead all too aware of how she was crying, struggling to continue to breathe as she furiously attempted to wipe away the tears, knowing just how pathetic she must look, standing there in the larder, crying about how she had let her anger get the better of her, making her tell something to Rusl she knew he would have been able to tell that she did not mean, that she would never have thought like that.</p>
<p>Truly, Midna was able to rationally know that she did not have to wish for a chance to talk with Rusl to tell him that it had all just been the result of her not knowing how to handle to possibility of everyone leaving her again. She knew that, knew that if she really did get the chance, such a selfish thing should never be among what she might tell him, that making sure that he knew how they all knew that he had saved her, that he was a better person than she could ever hope to become, should be the first words to leave her mouth. And yet, as Midna finally succeeded in getting her emotions under control once more, making sure she had patted her cheeks dry before she looked over at Link again, she could still feel that tiny, biting sense of doubt.</p>
<p>But she pushed it away. It was easier to focus on the anger and hurt from that very moment, simpler and less likely to reach the point that really hurt.</p>
<p>“If you have anything you want to tell me, you can do so,” Midna said, ignoring the little voice that told her that, truly, she might not want to listen to what thoughts had made Link not only decide to look for her, but also bring up the subject of Rusl, “I just want to know what you are talking about.”</p>
<p>But from the way Link looked at her, raised brows and a hesitant look in his eyes, Midna already knew that he would not tell her anything. It was almost a relief to see him shrug, confirming what she already knew to be true, that she had ruined any chances of getting to know what he had thought when she had first shown him that she was not above lashing out at him.</p>
<p>“I just thought that you might be lonely. That was all.”</p>
<p>Immediately, Midna knew that that was not the case. Even if it had not been for how she could still remember how nonchalant Link had acted when asking her the exact same question only a few months ago, the way he bit his lip, almost like he tried to bite back any other words, would have been enough to tell her that, really, he had meant to say something else entirely.</p>
<p>But if he wanted to pretend that they were not both aware of that fact, then Midna could do the same, and with a shrug and a rehearsed smile, she walked past him, only turning around for a moment to throw a couple of words over her shoulder, just enough to let him know that she was right, that she was not lonely, and that she was able to pay attention to her surroundings, confirming what she already knew: that she was right about how he and Ilia had been lost to the world earlier. “Maybe. But since we will be going to Hateno in a couple of days, I suppose that might fix most of it. If nothing else, it will get us more food and medicine, something we suffer from a lack of right now.”</p>
<p>And how would Link have been able to argue with that? Midna did not have to go ask Uli exactly how much food each person was consuming each day to know that they would reach the end of the supply soon, nor did she have to look at where the lock told of how it had been necessary to lock the door to the larder at night lately to know that they were facing a problem of people being hungry enough to try to take more food. So she was able to leave without having to say another word to him. Any other day, she might have regarded that as a victory, but as she walked through the corridor, heading towards the hangar and her ship where she knew she could still find Zelda crying in her room, Midna could not help but listen to how his words about how she had changed echoed in her ears.</p>
<p>Making them leave her alone, dispelling the ideas that he had planted in her mind, was not simple, but at last, as she ran towards the Shadow, Midna thought she might have halfway succeeded.</p>
<p>The feelings that threatened to overwhelm her as she walked into her cabin, only to hear how Zelda was still sobbing in her cabin told her otherwise, but Midna ignored that. If she just pretended that everything was still the way it was supposed to be, then perhaps it would be that way in the end. Or so she hoped.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we see a bit of the feelings both Zelda and Midna are trying to hide from those around them, just as it is now also clear that they have to head out to gather more supplies.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night provided the perfect cover for them. Watching as the faint outline of a village grew larger in the distance, Midna could not have been prouder of her ship. Much like what it had been named after, it was able to blend into the darkness of the night, creeping over the forest as she turned the rudder, bringing it to rest just outside the village, hidden from view by a cluster of trees.</p>
<p>The impact of the ship colliding with the ground almost threatened to make her fall over, and, not for the first time in that night, Midna was reminded of the reasons for why she preferred to attack ships that were already in the air. Landing the ship within the hangar were she knew she was somewhat safe and where she had come to know every nook and cranny was one thing, but having to not only steer the ship as close to the village as possible without risking that anyone would see them but also to not make a sound was an entirely different story.</p>
<p>They met on the deck, Midna walking over to stand where she could still almost imagine Rusl stepping forward to look over at them, a comforting look in his eyes. It did not matter, not now. In that moment, their only mission was to gather as many supplies as they could carry without being seen and then return to the ship to let it bring them back home. Then, once they were all safe back at the base, Midna could sit down again and try to come to terms with the fact that this was yet another thing that Rusl would never get to experience again. For now, the important thing was not what they had lost, but rather what they had yet to gain, and so, pressing a finger to her lips to signal for the rest of the crew to be silent, Midna stepped forwards, silently thanking her height for giving off the appearance of someone standing up straight, making her look like she knew what she was doing when, really, she had spent those past hours at the rudder trying her best to think of nothing at all, not trusting her thoughts to not betray her by flying to everything that hurt.</p>
<p>“Listen,” Midna said, making sure that her voice was strong, but not loud enough to alert anyone to their presence, “the plan for today is to gather food. That is the main priority. If you can find medicine, then take that as well, but for now, we have to focus on the food first and then just take anything else as a bonus. That means that I do want to hear that anyone here abandoned their mission to go look for something else, do you understand?” she let her gaze sweep over the crowd in front of her, trying her best not to let it show how she was ready to beg them to obey the command, ready to cry if that was what it would take to keep anyone from accepting unnecessary risks. But for now, it seemed that she would not have to, as everyone looked as nervous as she felt, pale and focused. With everything that had happened the last time they had been on a mission, it could not have been clearer to anyone of them that the risks they accepted each time they left the base were not some abstract concept, that each mission might very well be their last. Really, as Midna stood there, trying to inspire a bit of hope, she already knew that there was no need for her to tell them. Everyone already knew that even the tiniest mistake could lead to fatal consequences, that, were they discovered, the rest of the crew would be forced to leave without them. But even then, Midna could hear her voice tremble slightly as she added onto her warning. “I hope that everyone here knows what the plan is.” when no one spoke up to say anything else, Midna nodded. “Good. Then let us begin, but remember to be back here in fifteen minutes.”</p>
<p>They did not waste time telling her that they had understood, instead all running towards the rope ladder, the sound of muffled footsteps against the soft ground being all that might have been able to warn the village of their presence. Having already decided hours ago, back before it had been her turn to steer the ship, that she would be the last one to leave the ship to give the others a better chance of being able to both make it into and away from the village, Midna made sure to look back up at the ship to make sure she really was the last one, before she too began to climb down towards the ground, falling the last metre.</p>
<p>She landed with a hand against the ground to keep herself from losing her balance. The mossy grass was soft and damp beneath her fingertips, giving them the perfect surface to hide the sound of their arrival. It could not have been better, even if she had planned for it.</p>
<p>However, as glad as that made her, it was still not enough to fully make her able to not notice the way Link almost stopped himself before he had reached out towards her, the little movement making sure that she knew how he had not forgot about their argument. But then he finally took her hand, helping her back up, completely ignoring the fact that he had seen her do this dozens of times before, and as she looked up at him, returning the smile, Midna was almost able to convince herself that things between them were back to being the way they had always been, that they would be able to break into the biggest houses in the village, steal the food from the pantry, and then return to the ship, giggling about how the residents of the house had not noticed anything at all. But only almost. For although Link was able to hide it well, she could see the uncertainty shining through the smile.</p>
<p>But she ignored it. Midna was good at that and she had no intentions of letting that change anytime soon, not when it felt so much nicer to push it away. Maybe that was why she, rather than leaning into a hug and whisperingly telling him that she wished him good luck, simply began to run towards the village, the sound of soft footfalls letting her know that Link was right behind her. She should have felt bad for robbing him of the opportunity to complete their usual rituals, and while she did try to convince herself that it was all due to the fact that they only had a limited amount of time before they would have to be back by the ship and that hugging was the same as wasting what little time they had left, Midna was not fully able to fool herself into thinking that that was the truth. But even that, she could still push it away to focus on the task at hand.</p>
<p>They stayed in the shadows. Given the size of the village, the narrow, twisted roads, and the lack of lightning, they had plenty of those, and as Midna ducked to look around the corner, making sure that the coast was clear before she gestured towards Link, she could not have been more grateful for that. The last thing they would need right now was to lose another person, especially with how the loss of Rusl had hung over their heads during the entirety of the voyage. Granted, the lack of lightning was also a clear message of how they would not be able to find the richest people within the village, that the villa they were about to enter was the best thing they could hope for, but right then, it did not matter to Midna. They would be safe and, unless the mission would fail completely, they would have enough food to make it through the winter. That was all that was important as they stood there.</p>
<p>Turning around to whisper to Link, Midna pointed towards the house that would be their target. “In there,” she said, “we are going to go in through the servant’s entrance, make our way to the pantry, grab everything we can, and then make it back out here. Understood?”</p>
<p>Link nodded, and Midna could tell that the way he clenched his jaw had nothing to do with the mission that awaited them, but rather the fact that she had already reached out to let her hand find the best place in the wall to grab onto, allowing her to more easily make her way into the garden.. “Understood. But, Midna, promise me something.” he grabbed her hand, making Midna pause halfway through the motion of climbing up onto the garden wall to instead turn around and look at him “Please tell me that it will be all right, that once we get back onto the ship, we will have put… everything that has happened behind us. That, or that you will at least give me the chance to explain what I meant, because I promise that I didn’t mean to hurt you.”</p>
<p>The look she sent him was a waste of precious time, and yet, Midna could not bring herself to withdraw her hand the way she knew she should have. Instead, she looked at him and tried to gauge what she should say based on the way he appeared to be seconds away from simply beginning to explain right then and there. That was what made the decision for her in the end, the fact that if she did not act now, she would steal time from their mission, and with a smile she was not sure he would be able to spot in the darkness, Midna placed her hand on top of his. “I promise.”</p>
<p>After that, they worked in silence, Link pushing to give her enough momentum to pull herself up to the top of the wall where she could then reach for his hand, allowing them to use their combined strength to pull Link up onto the wall as well. From there, it was simply a matter of slipping into the garden, the only surprise being the fact that the family had plated a bush of something they could not recognise below them, Midna only spotting the thorns that ran along the branches seconds before she and Link would have landed on them. Pulling at Link’s sleeve, she pointed towards the danger, mouthing the question she knew was going through both of their minds.</p>
<p>She was not quite sure whether Link shook his head because he truly doubted that the bush was there specifically to keep thieves from entering from through the garden, if their numerous visits to the well-off families in the area when they had been younger could still be seen in the gardens, or if it was a sign that he did not want to upset her, but Midna forced herself not to think too much about it. It didn’t matter in that moment. Besides, even if it was the former explanation that would turn out to be true, why should she care? If the mayor’s family would decide to have an ugly bush in their garden simply because they did not want for her to return, then she would view it as a compliment.</p>
<p>Running through the garden, moving a bit slower than they might have been able to had it not been for how they had to stay close to the ground to make sure that they would not be seen from the windows, they made their way over to the servant’s entrance. The lock gave way after only a few attempts with the lock picking tool, and then they were inside, standing in what looked like it was a corridor leading towards the kitchens, or at least that was what it was if Midna was remembering correctly.</p>
<p>Looking around at their surroundings, it was clear that Link was thinking of the past as well, especially as he turned towards her, smiling so widely that Midna would not have found it difficult to believe that they might already have found everything they needed and were now on their way home to the base. The feeling only grew as he nodded towards the hallway in front of them. “I go left, you go right, that’s how it was, wasn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Indeed.”</p>
<p>“We will repeat that, won’t we?”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>And with that, they split up, Midna heading towards the pantry that, assuming that the mayor had not decided to change too much about his home, something Midna doubted considering the fact that he had not done more to keep out thieves than planting a tiny bush in the garden, would be filled with enough food to get the entirety of the base through the winter. She could hear Link’s footsteps behind her, the thick carpet on the floor not able to hide it completely, but, little by little, it grew fainter as he too moved closer to his goal, the kitchen itself.</p>
<p>And, for once, Midna could slip into her old habits, moving through the house in a way that made her feel almost like she was communicating with the building, promising it that she would pay attention to every detail, all the places where a stain on the carpet spoke of how one of the servants must have spilt something and failed to clean it completely, and the house in return warning her before she would have got the chance to step on a creaky floorboard, the sound of it possibly alarming the mayor.</p>
<p>The house was smaller than what she remembered, but Midna supposed that most of it could be due to the fact that it was the first time in years she had been back there. Really, the fact that the mayor and his family had been willing to suffer the sight of the ugly bush outside should be seen as a compliment to her ability to take everything she needed from the house and then disappear without being seen, making her way into the little nook behind the butcher’s and grocer’s she had come to regard as her home back then without being captured.</p>
<p>She tiptoed through the hallway, soon finding herself in the entrance hall, a wide staircase leading up towards the second floor. With the intricate details that had been etched into the wood, it was difficult for her to refrain from her past fantasies of it all belonging to her, the idea that this was her home and that she was just pretending to be a thief, that her friend was right behind her, waiting to find her, but somehow, Midna managed to do it, slowly moving up the stairs, turning right to enter the corridor she knew would take her through the east wing of the villa, ending with the blue door leading into the pantry. As she hurried along, Midna could not help but wonder if she was perhaps walking just above where Link was right now. Maybe, if they both reached their destinations at the same time, she would be able to take what they needed and then head through the tiny hatch to use the rickety spiral staircase to get to the kitchens, where she might be able to help him. Already, Midna knew what Link would tell her if he knew about her plans, how he would remind her that the last time they had done anything like that—the first time being the last as well—they had made the unpleasant discovery that the stairs were barely more than a few pieces of rusty metal, making more noise than the steam engine of the Shadow with each step, but that did not keep her from envisioning how she would open the door, stepping into the kitchen so that she could surprise him.</p>
<p>With how lost she was in her own thoughts, Midna did not hear the sound of the door creaking before it was too late for her to do anything other than biting back a gasp and step to the side, pressing herself up against the wall and hoping that she would not be seen. But of course she would. After all, as narrow as the hallway was, even the lack of light was not enough to provide her with any kind of protection from the eyes of the woman who had just stepped into the corridor.</p>
<p>Her clothes, the simple fabric and dirty pinafore, along with the dull hair instantly gave her position as a servant away, but with how Midna spotted a rat running along the corridor, she knew that it would have been obvious even if the woman did not look like she had not had a full, good night of sleep for several years, simply from the fact that the master and mistress of the house would most likely have died before they would ever deign themselves to be seen in such dirty surroundings. In those few moments it took before Midna knew without a doubt that there was nowhere she could run, it felt almost like her brain had sped up, making up for all the times she had only been able to figure out what to say, how to act, after the chance had passed by, giving her the ability to make out the exact moment when the maid realised what was happening, how her eyes widened as she saw the fine layer of coal dust that was such a common sight back at the base that Midna sometimes found herself forgetting that, outside the base, the coal was an easy way to identify those who were either pirates or merchants, Midna’s mismatched clothes and the trousers that were too wide for her quickly placing her firmly in the first category.</p>
<p>She would scream. Midna knew that. In just a second, this maid would let out a scream, alerting the entire house to the fact that there was an intruder, that she had seen someone much taller than her in the dim lighting of the corridor. After that, it would only be a matter of time before the entire village would be awake and alert, ready to look for possible accomplices.</p>
<p>Had it not been for how the panic was rising inside of her, bringing her brain and thoughts to a halt little by little, instead allowing that energy to be used to make her heart beat faster, the adrenaline flowing through her like fire, Midna might have cursed herself for allowing this to happen. If anything were to happen now, if anyone would be captured, it would be because of her, she knew that.</p>
<p>Time began to flow again, and the woman opened her mouth, but the words that came out were not any Midna would ever have expected to hear.</p>
<p>“Are you looking for food?”</p>
<p>Midna sent the maid an investigative look. Could she be so lucky that she was frightened enough to be willing to risk the consequences of helping thieves, fearing Midna more than anything else and therefore offering to provide her with information in return for escaping unharmed? It seemed to be the case, and yet, Midna could not allow herself to believe it, not when it would be so exceptionally lucky that it would be almost unheard of.</p>
<p>But, coming to the conclusion that she did not exactly have any choice other than to hope that it was the case, Midna nodded. “Yes,” she whispered, making sure to let her voice remain cold. Her last hope depended on the maid in front of her fearing her, so although the sound of her Twili accent made the guilt flare up in Midna’s stomach as she did her best to seem threatening, she was able to continue by reminding herself of the fact that being caught now would mean the entire crew being caught as well, and from there, they would lose the Shadow, all but giving Ganondorf the very last ship from the fleet of the Twilight Realm, “yes, we need food—and medicine.” she was not sure why she added those last words, but given how the situation could not become worse, Midna did not regret it. After all, how could her admitting that they needed supplies make the problems she had created for all of them become worse?</p>
<p>In the silence of the hallway, the sound of the maid repeating her words to herself sounded incredibly loud, almost loud enough to make Midna think that she was doing it deliberately, trying her best to wake up the rest of the house. Admitting to herself how that was really not the case, that the woman was whispering, required for Midna to take a deep breath and try to calm her frantically beating heart. It would be all right. As long as she made sure to buy them enough time to allow the rest to escape, she could accept what would happen next. Midna just hoped that Link would not wait for her at the servant’s entrance.</p>
<p>Immediately after she had thought it, picturing herself aboard a ship headed towards the capital, the image of how Zelda had looked when Midna had had to open up the door to her room to help her off the Shadow, leading her over to Ilia’s rooms and showing her where Ilia had given up her bed for her, eyes still red and puffy and Zelda unable to put any joy behind the smile when she pulled her into an embrace, appeared in her mind. Where her blood had felt like it was boiling before, it now felt like ice.</p>
<p>Zelda. If Midna was captured, would she try to insist that Ashei would appear out of thin air to save her, that her captain would somehow be able to be exactly where she needed to be and able to tell that Zelda would not want for Midna to be captured? Did Midna want her to? She had hated it when she had kept on insisting that Rusl would miraculously be fine, and maybe it was all just an effect of being forced to come to terms with the fact that she might very well share his fate within moments, but as Midna stood there, looking over at the maid as she whispered something to herself, she hoped that it would be the case. At least it would be a sign that Zelda might miss her despite the way Midna had treated her.</p>
<p>When the woman pulled her back to the moment, grabbing her wrist for a second, just enough to allow Midna to note how she was shaking, evidently having been closer to tears than she had expected, before letting go again with such hurry that it felt almost like Midna had been able to burn her, Midna was almost grateful. As bleak as her future was beginning to look, at least it was simple, something she was able to understand. But she made sure that her expression would not reflect any of that, not trusting the lack of light to mask it completely.</p>
<p>Having clearly just reached her own conclusion about what to do, the maid looked back up at her, her eyes wide. “Your—I mean, come with me, I can show you to the pantry.” with a glance towards Midna, she turned around and began to walk towards the end of the hallway,</p>
<p>There was something strange about her. It took Midna a second to figure out what it was, but by then, the realisation did also make her stomach drop. There was no fear in her eyes. When she had looked up at her, Midna had been unable to spot even the slightest trace of the fearful expression that should have met her. Instead, the maid had seemed almost proud, light shining in her eyes the moment before she had turned around.</p>
<p>It was a trap. Midna was sure of that, and yet, she still followed the maid, staying just a couple of metres behind her, preparing herself for how it was only a matter of seconds before she would somehow give a signal to someone who would then try to overpower her. Clenching her fists, Midna prepared herself for the moment, making sure that, no matter what would happen, she would at least make sure that the guards would come to learn that Midna did not give in easily, that they would bring her to their king and be forced to deliver the message of how she had been able to fight back for long enough to give the rest of the pirates the chance to escape.</p>
<p>In front of her, the maid pushed the door to the pantry open, the sound of the rusty metal protesting sending a shiver down Midna’s back as she waited for an attack. But it never came. It would appear that the maid had not been trying to lead her over to the pantry only to reveal that the king’s soldiers were waiting for her in there. Still, it did not mean that she could rule out the possibility of her still having planned something, and so, Midna made sure to wait until the woman had stepped over the threshold, until she knew that she would be able to step behind her, that there was no one waiting for her in the shadows of the room, before she followed after her.</p>
<p>To Midna’s surprise, rather than signalling for someone to come capture her, the maid simply turned towards her and pushed something over to her, Midna struggling to hold it, the sudden weight having taken her by surprise. It was not until she noticed the feeling of the rough fabric of the sack against the palms of her hands and the words on the front of it that she realised how this maid had just handed her what had to be the largest sack of sugar she had ever brought back from a mission, one of those sacks she had seen in the storeroom of the ships that belonged to the wealthiest merchants, those she had never dared to take since the weight would hinder her from being able to defend herself.</p>
<p>Almost like she had not realised that she had passed the line between trying to remain safe and outright helping her the moment she had given her what was arguably the most valuable thing she could have chosen, the maid passed around her. “Take what you need,” she said, her voice strangely thick, “I will go get the medicine. Is there anything in particular you need? Anything at all?”</p>
<p>Too shocked to think about whether it was smart to reveal that kind of information to her, Midna shook her head. “No, I think we will be able to use a little of everything.”</p>
<p>The maid nodded and the next second, she was gone, leaving Midna alone with more food than she could ever hope to be able to bring back to the ship.</p>
<p>Forcing herself not to worry about the maid’s intentions, not to lose herself to the question of what was happening, the fear that she might just have sent her away to run directly to the nearest person in the house, Midna turned towards the food in front of her. Now, she would have to act quickly, to decide what she should take, what would provide them with most nourishment and nutrients. Pulling sacks, jars, and bottles of food down from the shelves, Midna began to sweat as she shoved everything she might be able to carry without the glass clattering and giving away her presence into the sack, before turning around and casting a long glance at the sack of sugar she had found herself with no other choice than to place it on the floor to have her hands free to pick up everything else. She would not be able to bring it back with her. She knew that. And yet, as she looked at it and imagined everything they could do with the sugar, the bread Uli could bake, the cake they could surprise Zelda with, how Colin might be able to have a real cake for his birthday, she could not leave it behind, not when the maid had given it to her. But as much as Midna wanted to, she could not justify wasting time on trying to drag the sack back to the ship, much less try to rationalise the choice of letting go of other, better choices to instead bring back sugar. She had to let it go.</p>
<p>It felt like she had only wasted a few seconds on convincing herself not to take the sugar, like she had been in the pantry for less than a minute, but as the maid returned, her heavy breathing telling Midna that she had sprinted to fetch the medicine, small bottles rattling from within the tiny sack she handed her, Midna knew that she had mere minutes left until she would have to be back at the ship with Link if she did not want to be left behind.</p>
<p>Still, it was not able to sate her curiosity, and so, although she could almost feel how the time to escape slipped away from between her fingers, she turned towards the maid, hoping that she might at least be able to repay her swiftness in getting everything by not letting her be scarred for life by the few minutes where she might honestly have feared that she would die if she did anything wrong by letting her voice grow warmer, hoping to convey to her that no matter what, she would never have let any harm come to her. “All of this,” Midna raised her now completely full sack, the weight of it making her struggle a bit to do so, “why did you do it? I assume that you must know that you could have done less and still be able to claim that you had helped me, and if you were scared that I would hurt you, you had plenty of time to escape when I sent you to get the medicine. Why did you not do any of that—why do you help me?”</p>
<p>In that moment, Midna was forced to re-evaluate her judgement of the maid as just a young woman who had been too frightened of the thieves she had found in the house to try to do anything to stop them, for as she looked up at her, her eyes almost seeming like they were burning with a strange fire, she did not look anything like the scared girl Midna had first seen.</p>
<p>“Because I trust you,” she said, and as she spoke, her voice was full of respect, an almost eerie amount of admiration making her voice thick with emotions, “because I have wished for this to happen since I was very young, for me to get a chance to help you.”</p>
<p>Even in the dim lightning, Midna could see how she reached up towards her collar, moving the strap of the pinafore to the side slightly to reveal a tiny embroidered detail of her dress, a little piece of fabric that had hastily been sewn onto the side of the dress itself with a couple of loose stitches. It was tiny, barely there, surely a sign that this woman had made it herself and wanted it to be easily hidden if she was ever in a situation where it would not be safe to show the rustic embroidery, and as Midna saw the subject, she did not have to wonder why. The little symbol, the light that almost seemed to recede to make way for the shadow did not leave any doubts about what it meant, especially not as the maid continued to look up at her, Midna at once feeling how her blood turned to fire in her veins as she realised just what the expression on her face meant.</p>
<p>“There are more of us than you might think,” the maid said, her voice barely more than a hushed whisper, even in the almost deserted room, “and we are all waiting for the true Twilight Princess to return to us.”</p>
<p>“I—” it felt like her voice disappeared, the words refusing to leave her mouth as anything other than unintelligible muttering, but somehow, Midna found the strength to tear her gaze away from the pin and try not to think about what it might mean that it was made to be removed in seconds, easily discarded. “I don’t think I understand. You do know what the consequences would be if anyone found out about <em>this</em>.” as she gestured towards nothing in particular, Midna was not sure if she was referring to the embroidered symbol, the fact that she was currently standing with a sack full of food and medicine, or perhaps everything at the same time. “You must know; I cannot imagine that you would have been able to survive for this long if you did not know that that thing is so much worse than just helping thieves. At least if it was only a case of someone finding out about how we got this medicine, you could claim that I had threatened you and that you were fearing for your life. So why—why do you do this? You of all people should know that this is about surviving.”</p>
<p>But it seemed that her words did not have any effect as the maid simply shrugged. “There are instances where my life matters less than what I can do with it. And the second I saw you, I knew that this was my chance to prove it. Even if I should be caught, it will still have been an honour to be able to help you. I would not exchange that for anything.”</p>
<p>“But how did you know that… that I was the person you were waiting for?”</p>
<p>The maid simply sent her a look Midna could not read, an almost otherworldly twinkle in her eyes as she tilted her head to the side slightly. “I told you. There are more of us than you might think. We have believed that the queen might have escaped for a while, and we received confirmation of your existence years ago. With how much you look like her, it was only a matter of me connecting the dots and realising just whom I was standing in front of.” she curtseyed, the gesture seeming rehearsed, almost like she had truly waited for this her whole life. “Your Royal Highness, it is an honour to be able to help you.”</p>
<p>Perhaps it was for the better that the lack of proper lightning kept Midna from being able to really look at her, for she was sure that the only reason the maid had not been able to see how Midna was not the person they had waited for, not anymore at least, was that she did not have the chance to get a closer look at her. If she had, Midna knew that she would have been able to spot her shaking hands, the way she had gone pale, the coal dust clinging to her skin, and reach the conclusion that, no matter what she might once have been born as, Midna really was not a princess.</p>
<p>However, before Midna got the chance to say any of that, the sound of a door closing, the creak being muffled by multiple walls and yet loud enough for there to not be any doubt that it had come from somewhere within the house, pulled them back to reality, the maid instantly reaching out to take Midna’s hand, before turning around to pick up the sack of sugar like it did not weigh anything at all. “Come,” she whispered, already beginning to walk over towards the hatch leading towards the staircase, “you have to leave immediately, Your Royal Highness.”</p>
<p>Only somewhat aware of what was happening around her, Midna finally forced herself to return to the moment, to focus on nothing except for the fact that the maid was right when she told her that she had to leave. “Wait, there is someone here with me—” she began, but the maid interrupted her before she got the chance to finish the sentence.</p>
<p>“I know. A boy, in the kitchens, right?” when Midna only shot her a confused look, she shook her head. “One of the good things about the master not believing that I am able to think for myself is that I am able to know about everything that goes on within this house without ever having to tell him about it. You came here with a boy, not that tall, who is currently in the kitchens looking for food, did you not?” when Midna could only bring herself to nod, the maid smiled down at her. “Good. In that case, I might be able to help two of you tonight. But come now, we don’t have much time to waste. When will you have to be back at the ship?”</p>
<p>By now, Midna had learnt that asking questions about how the maid had learnt about the presence of her ship would only lead to them wasting even more time, and so, she simply answered, trying her best to gauge how much time she had let pass by without counting each second. “About five minutes, I think.”</p>
<p>“Five minutes. Very well then, if you go through the garden, towards the end of it, you will find a tiny hole in the wall. It is behind a bush of swift violets. We were actually supposed to have repaired that ages ago, but none of us were willing to seal it off when it felt too much like it was meant to keep us in here. And, goddesses, am I happy that we made that decision back then.” she opened the hatch, Midna stopping the moment before she would have set foot on the rusty metal. Apparently guessing the correct answer as to why she did not leave immediately now that she had the chance, the maid pointed towards the steps in front of them. “Just make sure you stay close to the side of the staircase. There, they don’t make any sound at all. But, here, go now. I will try to slow down the master and mistress to give you a bit more time to get back to your ship.”</p>
<p>And before Midna had had time to realise what was going on, to tell the maid that she did not have to put herself at risk like that just to save her, to thank her for her help while still making it clear that Midna would never have expected anything like that, the maid had closed the hatch behind her, leaving Midna alone on the stairs. Had it not been for the fact that the entire construction was an afterthought, as evidenced by the fact that the pale light of the moon was finding its way in through the cracks in the wall, Midna would have been left in darkness, but as it was, she was able to make her way down to the bottom of the stairs, following the maid’s advice of staying close to the side. Just as she had been promised, the stairs remained quiet, unwilling to give away her presence.</p>
<p>It was not until she burst into the kitchen, running over to whisper to Link how they had to leave immediately, only for him to send her a look of disbelief mixed with excitement, that she realised she was holding the sack of sugar in her arms, her own sack hanging from her hips where she had tied it to her belt. It would appear that the maid’s quick thinking combined with the rush of adrenaline might really bring back sugar along with them.</p>
<p>But now was not the time to admire everything they had been able to gather, Midna knew that, so she simply leant in towards Link, whispering into his ear. “They know that we are here.”</p>
<p>That was all it took for Link to instantly become serious again, dropping a chunk of meat into the sack as he too fastened it to his belt before running with her back towards the servants’ entrance. As they turned around the corner, Midna was almost certain that she could hear voices coming from above, someone yelling about how one of the servants could have let the thieves slip right past her. For the first time in as long as she could remember, Midna thought of the goddesses and hoped that they would watch over the maid, the prayer not being followed by the crushing feeling of knowing that there was no one to hear it. Even if she did not necessarily believe that there was any kind of deity watching over the world and that, if there was, they were doing a poor job of trying to keep everyone safe, it would not harm anyone if she at least tried, and with how she had often seen Ilia whisper a little prayer to herself the few times she had been present to say goodbye when they left for a mission, the prayers had to do something, even if she could not see it, did they not? Truth to be told, Midna was not sure, but it did make her feel a little better as she sprinted through the garden with Link, pointing towards the bush the maid had named as the sign of where their escape route would be, to know that she had at least done something, even if she knew that she should have offered the maid to come back with them.</p>
<p>Midna did not know the reasons for it, but as they ran through the village, her lungs already burning by the time they had reached the road that ran past the chemist’s, the adrenaline pushing them to ignore the pain and run faster, she could almost see what it had all looked like when she had been younger, how even the smallest buildings had felt like castles that towered up in front of her. Perhaps it was because she could tell how almost nothing had changed, but as they ran, Midna caught herself glancing over towards Link and wondering if he was thinking the same thing as her, if he looked at the different alleyways and remembered all the times they had sprinted through them like they were doing now, lungs and muscles aching as they tried to outrun the butcher after they had sneaked in to steal a dove, how they had run into the forest to finally lose him, somehow convincing themselves that they would be able to know how to start a fire to prepare the dove over.</p>
<p>As they turned around the corner between the grocer’s and the chemist’s, Link looking into the little nook between the two shops, she knew that it was the case. Nothing else would be able to explain the way his expression, the focused look and the concealed pain, changed in an instant to instead reflect another kind of pain entirely.</p>
<p>“Midna,” he breathed, and while she knew that she should not have paused like this, that they should continue to sprint, was aware of the fact that their lives depended on it, as she looked at him, Midna knew that she would not be able to tell him that, and that, no matter how much she might try to pretend that that choice was due to the weight of the sack of sugar in her arms, that was not really the case, “do you remember this? Back when we first met?”</p>
<p>How would she ever have been able to forget? Even now, even after the years that had passed since then, when Midna followed his line of sight, her gaze coming to rest on the little stack of crates, she could almost see their first meeting happen in front of her very eyes, the way she had not been able to return home to her usual nook, instead deciding that she would have to sleep in there, hoping that the crates would be enough to conceal her from the king’s guards. She had been shaking with fear and cold, but the ship had still felt like the worst place to be at the moment, even with the call of the warm quilts and the coal she knew she would still be able to find in the storeroom, only waiting for her to figure out a way to get it up to the firebox so that she would be able to keep warm, perhaps even able to flee and forget about how she had been told to wait there. Midna could see how it had happened, the way she had ran into the nook to hide, only to see that someone was already there, a young boy who had stolen her hiding place away from her, lying in a heap behind the crates, trying not to cry.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she answered, “I remember.”</p>
<p>Link did not say anything after that, instead shaking his head and continuing to run towards the little cluster of trees where their ship should still be waiting for them if Midna had counted correctly. But even then, he was not quite able to hide the fact that he was crying, his tears almost seeming to reflect the light of the moon.</p>
<p>Her legs felt like they were on fire, but Midna was still grateful that he had not tried to say more. Sometimes, it was better to just forget, and despite the overwhelming sense of relief that had first filled her when she had reached into her sack to pull out one of the apples she had been able to steal from a nearby garden, the sound of the fabric rustling making the boy in front of her move, instantly dispelling the fear that he might be dead, the way her offer to share her food with him had soon made them decide to work together, Link telling her about how his mother had died a week before as she handed him yet another apple, the pain that was still present in every second of the memories from that time was enough for that moment to be among those she wanted to be able to leave behind her, freeing her from having to face the feelings associated with it. It was easiest that way, even if it felt like she was betraying the sacrifice the maid had brought to be able to help her by wishing that she did not have her past.</p>
<p>Around them, the first glimpse of dawn painted the world in long shadows as the sun rose, Midna pushing back against the feeling of burning in her legs, willing herself not to notice it, to continue to sprint towards where the ship was hopefully still waiting for them. As she gripped Link’s hand to make sure that he would not fall behind, her height giving her the added benefit of being able to cover more distance with each step than he could, Midna pushed the branches aside, trying to force enough air into her lungs to keep herself from slowing down even a little.</p>
<p>The ship was still there. That was the first thing she saw as they finally emerged from the trees, stepping into the glade, and as Midna let out a relieved sigh, she could hear from the relieved whispers coming from where Hanch had been about to pull up the rope ladder that they had seen them as well.</p>
<p>“Here!” lowering the ladder back down, Hanch was already leaning over the side of the ship, reaching towards them, ready to help them. “Hurry!”</p>
<p>The feeling of someone finally taking the sack of sugar from her was at once freeing and mortifying. After all this time, even though Midna was not blind to the way she was clutching it close to her like her life depended on it, unwilling to let go of the present from the maid, she had still not fully realised just how much it had come to mean to her that there was someone out there who had been willing to risk her life to help them. And she had not been the only one willing do to that.</p>
<p>Midna repeated the maid’s words in her head. There were many of them, plenty of people who had known better than to believe the lies their new king had told them about how the queen had been killed in a coup d’état, how he had seen the suffering from just across the border and selflessly ordered his troops to save everyone, restoring order around them. In Midna’s mind, the others the maid had referred to looked like the few servants who had been lucky, fast enough to escape with their queen. Could they have known? Was there a chance that they had not thrown their life away for nothing after all, was there a chance that they had not spent their last moments regretting having sacrificed themselves for a cause that would never be able to change anything in the world? Midna hoped so. For some reason, even though it would not bring them back, it would hurt less when their names would inevitably escape from the chest for a moment if she was able to convince herself that they had not felt alone as they had met their end.</p>
<p>Hanch gripped her hand, pulling her up over the handrail. Moments later, both she and Link were back on the ship, Midna unable to do much more than to let her legs buckle beneath her, sinking to the deck as someone came to help her unfasten her sack and bring both that and the sugar into the storeroom.</p>
<p>“I will take the first watch,” Hanch mumbled as he returned, “you look exhausted.”</p>
<p>Midna could only imagine what she was looking like, but she did not have the energy to even begin to argue against his points. She felt almost like she could lie down and sleep for ages, and so, although she knew that, if she wanted to show them that they would be able to continue without Rusl there to guide them, she should go back up onto the deck to take the first watch herself, she was grateful for how Hanch gave her the option of simply nodding weakly, pushing herself up from the deck and heading over to her cabin to seize the chance to sleep for a few hours before it would be her turn to stand at the rudder and make sure they stayed on course.</p>
<p>Next to her, she could hear how Link tried to reach out for her, clearly coming to the conclusion that she would need to talk with someone about how they had just all but run through their childhood home, for he began to mumble something to her, but she brushed past him, pushing back down the guilt at how she ignored him. Any other day, she would gladly have stayed to talk with him, but for now, she had to be alone for a bit. She had to get a chance to attempt to process what had just happened, to try to fit in what the maid had told her with everything else she knew about the world.</p>
<p>So she walked past him, pretending that she did not hear how he tried to ask her to stay for a moment. Later, she could try to handle it later, but right now, she just wanted to get a moment to herself, to rest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should have known that she would not be able to sleep after everything that had happened, and yet, as Midna found herself turning in her bed, pulling the quilt closer around her like the warmth was what would help her fall asleep, it did not keep her from feeling like her body was betraying her by refusing to let her find rest. More than anything, she wanted to get a chance to not have to think about what had happened, just for a moment, but of course, she could not get that, the world seeming like it was doing everything it could possibly do to ensure that she would remain awake, staring into the darkness of the room as she tried to convince her heart to calm down a little.</p>
<p>Someone knocked on her door, the muffled sound and the several seconds that passed before the knock returned letting her know that the person on the other side had most likely been wanting to talk with her ever since she had first returned to the ship, only held back by the wish to not be the person responsible for waking her up if she had got the chance to fall asleep.</p>
<p>Normally, she might have been annoyed, opening the door , already prepared to tell the person to leave her alone, but given how she was not able to fall asleep as it was, Midna supposed that they really weren’t that much of a nuisance. That, or the message from the maid had made her even more unsure of the world than she had thought at first. Midna did not know which of the explanations were correct, but the sinking feeling in her stomach told her that it was the latter.</p>
<p>No matter the reason, she got up, making the decision that she might as well give up on ever being able to fall asleep again, and opened the door to see who the person brave enough to try to wake her had been.</p>
<p>It was Link. Of course it was. As he stood out there, the sight of his clothes clinging to him and water dripping from his hair letting her know that it had rained, he looked almost apologetic that he had come to knock on the door, and maybe that was why she simply opened the door and gestured for him to enter.</p>
<p>“Come in.”</p>
<p>Link did not waste any time doing exactly what she had told him to. Placing his hat on the table, he flopped down onto the chair next to her bed, leaning back. Had it not been for the fact that she knew better, she might have thought that he had been the person to gain the unlucky duty of having to stand at the rudder to make sure they would get back home safely, but, as Midna looked at him, she had to admit that even having participated in the mission had been bound to leave them with little energy for anything else. After all, she herself had also had to give in to the pull of her own cabin the second she had made it back up onto the ship, so, really, who would she have been to try to chastise him for doing the same.</p>
<p>“Ugh,” Link said, the groan sounding like it made its way up from the tips of his feet, rising up through his throat before finally being let out, making the adrenaline and anxiousness that had fuelled them for those few minutes be put into words, “I swear that the clouds just decided to pour an entire year’s worth of rain down on top of us. You should have seen it; it looked like an ocean up on the deck, water everywhere.”</p>
<p>Realising that, even though it had not felt like it, she must have been more asleep than she had realised, Midna cocked her head. “Really? Well, I suppose it was inevitable—it has been quite a while since the last time we had to fight against the water while flying, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>The way Link reached up to cover his face with his hand was enough to let her know that he did indeed remember. “Don’t remind me.” but even as he said it, Link was not able to keep back a laugh. “I am telling you, my boots are still damp after that. It was a nightmare to keep the water from knocking us off course, not even to mention how we had to keep it from seeping into the food—speaking of which, I have to tell you not to worry about that. The moment Jaggle was able to tell that the rain would not stop just yet, he ordered us all to begin trying to seal the roof of the storeroom with little pieces of cloth and place buckets where that was not enough. So your sugar is safe in there now.”</p>
<p>Sugar. She had almost been able to banish the memory to the corner of her mind, but as Link brought back the subject of the sugar, the thing the maid had given her, Midna could feel how her heartrate sped up once more, almost like her body was not listening to how her brain tried to inform her of the fact that she had left Hateno Village behind hours ago.</p>
<p>She glanced towards Link. Could she tell him? Rationally, Midna knew that she could share anything with him, that if she asked him to, he would never share it with anyone, not even Ilia, but that did not keep her from biting her lip, trying to gauge whether it would perhaps be best to keep this secret to herself. The excuse that telling someone would be the same as putting the maid in danger felt weak, even to her, and although she would have liked to claim that she was hesitating because of some noble thought about how she did not want to inwardly make anyone suffer the consequences of her actions, Midna knew the real reason for why she had not told him about it already. It was the same reason that had seen her lash out each time someone brought up the subject of doing more, trying to tell her that there had to be other people like them out there, people who were going against Ganondorf. Telling Link that she had received help from a maid, that the maid had shown her the tiny emblem, whispering to her that she was not the only one hoping to get to see the Twilight Realm again before they died, it would all mean one simple and dangerous thing—hope. If she told him, Midna would have to be able to handle the result, something she already knew would be that Link’s ideas about how they might be able to save more people would only grow. Try as he might, he could not hide that fact from her.</p>
<p>Biting down so hard the she began to taste blood, Midna tried to imagine the consequences of telling him. She would most likely be able to convince him that it did not mean anything, but she did not know how much of that would be due to the fact that, despite their differences, they had still grown up together, a fact that had most likely been a big part of how she had been able to make him stay for so long. No, the real risk was that, once she had told Link, she would not be able to stay quiet anymore, that the urge to tell everyone would be too much for her. Midna knew exactly what would happen if Zelda were to hear about her experience, the way her eyes would brighten, shining with idealistic hope, Zelda gripping her hands, unable to hide her excitement for a moment before she would remember her promise and try to force herself to hide it. For some reason, that was the part that hurt the most to think about, the fact that she had forced her to promise to curb her feelings.</p>
<p>But as she looked back over at Link and saw how the beginning of a worried frown was pulling the corners of his mouth downwards, Midna knew that she had to tell him. Leaning forwards, she just hoped that Link would believe her, that he would not doubt her. Right then, she could not imagine having to be able to prove the story. “Link.” she paused, making sure she had caught his attention. “There… I saw something back in the villa, something I think you might want to know about.”</p>
<p>She could not have been more grateful for how Link remained quiet as she explained, telling him about how she had at first thought that the maid was just yet another scared servant who tried their best not to anger the thieves, only for her to turn out to admire her, an admiration that consisted solely of the power that should have been Midna’s to claim. With how much courage it had taken to even begin to share the story with him, Midna doubted she would have been able to continue if he had interrupted her.</p>
<p>“So, what you are saying is…” Link said as she finished speaking, “that there might be—or at least there is according to this maid—more of us, more people who would be ready to oppose Ganondorf’s reign, I mean. Is that it, is that what it meant?”</p>
<p>“I think so. Well, we don’t know exactly how many people she was talking about. For all I know, it might only have been about ten, and we have no way of knowing if they would actually be ready to openly go against their king.” Midna would have loved to say that she was able to remain calm, but even she could hear how her voice was shaking, her eyes becoming shiny as she got to the part that still weighed on her mind. “But, Link… she recognised me. She addressed me as ‘Your Royal Highness’, she curtseyed, and—” her voice broke, but she could see that Link had already guessed it.</p>
<p>The next second, Link had jumped back up onto his feet, crossing the room in mere seconds. He pulled her into a hug, making the water from his clothes seep into Midna’s blouse, but she found that she did not care, not even as the warm water in the metal pipes within the walls around them struggled to combat the icy sensation. All that mattered was the fact that Link was there, pulling her close, making it feel almost like he had guessed how she had hesitated to tell him because she feared that it might be enough to make him think about leaving again.</p>
<p>“I am sure she did not recognise you,” Link mumbled, speaking into her hair, “rumours have a habit of reaching the people who care about them. That must have been how she was able to know about it—a lucky guess.”</p>
<p>“No.” it would have been comfortable to let herself believe him, but Midna knew that she would not have been able to go back to the base while still knowing that she would be the reason for why they might one day be found again. “You and I both know that Ganondorf should not have been able to know who I am. Do you know how much time I spent trying to paint over the crest of the Shadow, removing the last thing I had to remind myself of the past? There was no way he should have been able to guess who I am, and yet, he did. And now, we know the reason. I resemble her, and seemingly a lot more than any of us thought I did.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes it is nice to know that you look like your parents. When you don’t even have a picture of them, then, at least, you will know what they looked like when looking at yourself.”</p>
<p>It was not until she noted the hurt in his voice that Midna realised what she had just said. Stepping back from the embrace, just enough to allow her to look down at how Link was blinking to keep back the tears, she tried her best to take it back, to change what she had said. “Link, I—I didn’t meant it that way, I know that you—”</p>
<p>Link shook his head, keeping her from being able to finish the apology. “No, forget it. I was just—I overreacted.” at least he did not say sorry, instead almost seeming to attempt to brush it all aside to instead return to the subject of what the maid’s words had meant. “But, Midna, do you know what all of this might mean for us? There could be even more people out there, all dreaming of the same thing that we do.”</p>
<p>“We dream of staying alive.” she had not meant for her voice to sound so sharp, but as the words left her mouth, Midna could hear how that, intention or not, had been what had happened. “When I lie down each night, the thing I wish for is that we might be able to survive another day, nothing else, and especially not for us to somehow start an outright rebellion. It would be madness, Link. We would all be killed within a week if we tried it.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps,” Link said, but from how he reached up to touch his chin, it was obvious that he was not convinced, “or maybe we would inspire even more people. And, yes, I remember that I told you I would never leave, but just, try to picture it, Midna—thousands of people rising up with us, all of us marching towards the castle where we would show Ganondorf that we are not that easily overpowered.”</p>
<p>“And then we would die immediately when he orders his troops to fire at us.” it felt almost like it was someone else who made her reach out, taking Link’s hands, tightening her grip on them like that alone would be enough to keep her from ever having to experiencing the pain of people leaving her again. “Look, Link, I shared this with you because I knew that you would never leave me if I asked you not to. But you and I both know that the same cannot be said for everyone back at the base. Promise me you will not tell anyone about what I told you just now. Promise me.”</p>
<p>For a single, horrible second, she thought that he would say no, tell her that he had had enough of always having to hide, but then Link nodded, the movement making drops of water fly from his hair. “If you want me to, I will gladly promise you that. I just hope that you know that, even if you hadn’t asked, I still would never have told anyone about it.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know.” Midna sighed, and the attempt at forcing a smile onto her face failed the moment she tried. “You have kept my secrets for years.”</p>
<p>Link did not say anything, instead pulling her in for another embrace. More than anything, Midna wished that the moment might have lasted for the rest of her life, but of course, it was only a matter of seconds before the sound of someone knocking on the door brought an end to it.</p>
<p>Taking a step backwards, Midna tried to get her emotions back under control, forcing herself not to give in to the feeling of tears pressing against her eyes, trying their best to make her cry. “It is probably Hanch coming to tell me that it is my turn to take a watch.”</p>
<p>Before she got the chance to go over to open the door, Link was at her side. The smile he sent her felt like it should have been able to combat the cold seeping into her body. “Don’t,” he whispered, “I will take care of it. Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>She should have protested, should have tried to tell him that she was perfectly capable of going back outside to steer the ship for a while, to carry her part of the burden, but in that moment, the prospect of not having to head outside, to not have to regain control of her emotions just yet, to not have to stand in the rain, was stronger than the pull of knowing that she should have tried to argue with him.</p>
<p>Mustering up the strength for a tiny smile, Midna nodded at him. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Midna thought she heard him tell her that it was nothing, but she could not be sure. With how tired she was as he left, closing the door behind him, he could have said anything, and she would have been none the wiser.</p>
<p>Her judgement of her ability to fall asleep again had been too confident. Midna realised that the moment she felt her legs give up on her, letting her fall flat on her bed, unable to even find the energy to take off her boots, instead rolling to the side to get her feet up into the softness of her bedsheets as well. Sleep was right there, reaching out for her, enveloping her in the pure joy of not having to feel anything at all for a moment. And after everything that had happened, Midna was more than happy to let it do just that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have it, a chapter with some more backstory and signs that there are people out there who supports Midna to a point where they might even be described as rebels, leading Midna to become even more worried about those around her and herself.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Midna woke up to the sight of the sun coming in through the porthole, painting her cabin in golds and yellows.</p>
<p>Pushing herself up into a sitting position, she felt her head protest against the movement, sending sharp tendrils of pain running along her temples. She ignored it. As the memories of what had happened the night before began to return, bringing the memory of how she had been too weak to even go outside and do what she had done for years, it was all too clear to her that she would not give in to something as simple as pain again, not as long as she was still able to stand up. No, from now on, she would do her best to be the leader the people around her deserved, the one they acted like they could see in her when they almost instinctively fell quiet each time she said something during the meetings with the council. They deserved that much.</p>
<p>It felt like everyone in the base had come to welcome them home. Looking out over the crowd, Midna knew that it could barely have been more than perhaps fifteen people, but as Jaggle hurried past her, handing two sacks off the side of the ship, making sure that Hanch was ready to catch them before he let them fall, it had the same effect on her that seeing a thousand people staring up at her would most likely have had.</p>
<p>But, as she glanced out over the crowd, trying to find something to anchor her to the present, keeping her from simply turning around and hurrying back into her cabin where she could once more hide from the world, Zelda almost seemed to glow, a ray of sunshine among the greys of the mountain. Smiling up at her, waving wildly the moment she realised that Midna had seen her, there was not many traces left of the time she had spent crying in her room. The only thing Midna could see from the distance that would speak to the fact that she had not merely made it all up was the fact that Ilia was standing next to her, an arm around Zelda’s shoulders as she smiled up at them.</p>
<p>It should not have helped as much as it did. Midna knew that. After all, it was hardly the first time Ilia had come to congratulate them for having survived another mission, even if it was a rare occurrence, and the fact that Zelda was there as well was nothing if not normal by now. Truly, if Midna had had any thoughts left, she should have worried over the fact that, with Zelda there, they were one step closer to repeating the weeks of not talking to each other. She should have seen that when she looked out at the crowd, but she did not.</p>
<p>Instead, she looked down and saw Zelda smiling so brightly that it seemed she should have been able to rival the sun, and despite herself, Midna found that it was easy to leave the thoughts and fears about what the maid had said behind her to instead return the smile as she climbed down the rope ladder, hurrying through the crowd to get to where Zelda and Ilia were standing. For once, it felt like a blessing rather than an annoyance that people paid attention to her, careful to step out of her way before she would even have had to ask them to do so.</p>
<p>She was not sure what she had planned to do when she reached them, but before Midna got the chance to stop and let the awkwardness overcome her, Zelda had already closed the last bit of distance between them, throwing her arms around her and pulling her into an embrace. It had to be some kind of chemical reaction in her brain, a slight malfunction, her mind’s way of trying to seek comfort and a distraction from what had happened, but for some reason, Midna did not count the seconds until the duration of the hug would have been long enough for it to not be impolite, long enough for Zelda to not look up at her with tears in her eyes as she let go. In fact, as Zelda’s hair fell in front of her face and adrenaline flowed through her, the act of spinning Zelda around once, Midna using her height to her advantage, felt as natural as breathing. She placed Zelda back onto the ground, a little laugh tearing its way out of her mouth, making it feel almost like she had been meant to do this from the very beginning. Then Midna realised what she had just done.</p>
<p>Hoping that her reaching up to pretend to shove a few stray strand of hairs back in place behind her ears would be enough to conceal the fact that her cheeks were tinged red with embarrassment over her lack of control, Midna cleared her throat and averted her gaze, looking down at the ground rather than up at Zelda. Next to her, she could hear Ilia let out something that sounded too much like a muffled sigh for her to want to think about it, and so, she tried to focus on anything but that. In that moment, even having to try to picture the consequences of what the maid had said felt simpler to her than trying to figure out what was happening inside of her.</p>
<p>Thankfully, she only had to wait for a few minutes before Zelda provided her with a welcome distraction from her thoughts.</p>
<p>Stepping forwards, a little jerky motion running through her arm, almost like she had been about to reach out towards Midna, only to stop herself at the last moment, Zelda mirrored her motion of trying to make sure her hair did not look like the mess it had become when Midna had spun her around, before finally saying something. “So,” she said, swaying back and forth slightly, the way she let the word trail off giving away the fact that she was making up what she wanted to say as she went along, “how… how did it go? Was there a battle?”</p>
<p>Midna should have answered. It was the right thing to do, to look back up at Zelda and try her best to return the gesture, to show Zelda that she was just as willing to try her best to put all the awkwardness behind them, an attempt to atone for how she had just made it all become weird between them. She was able to tell herself that, to recognise the fact that she should have told her everything that had happened—or at least the parts that did not include the maid and everything she had told her, the little emblem on her dress, and the fact that she and the other servants had made sure to keep open the escape route for them—to make sure that Zelda would not get the opportunity to question whether or not Midna was even trying to keep her part of the promise. But each time she tried to open her mouth, all that came out was a few stuttered words, Midna finding it impossible to continue.</p>
<p>In the end, she was not the one to provide them with an excuse to pretend that everything was the way it was supposed to be between them. No, that honour belonged to Link as he came running over to them, carrying a sack of flour in his arms.</p>
<p>“Midna,” he called out, pausing for a moment to pull Ilia in for a hug and a kiss before looking back over at her, “I was supposed to tell you that Jaggle would like it if you could come back over to help us put away the food.” a little laugh. “Well, actually, that was not really what he told me, but I think he meant for me to not hear that part, so I am repeating what he would have said if you had been there.”</p>
<p>Midna could see how he looked over towards Zelda, his eyes growing wider as he seemed to realise the connection between how they were both blushing, Midna having taken a step away from both Zelda and Ilia, placing as much distance between them as possible.</p>
<p>“Uh,” Link said, reaching up to rub the back of his head while glancing towards Ilia, clearly trying to get the answer from her rather than Midna, “I didn’t interrupt something, did I? Because if I did, I am sure that Jaggle would be able to understand if he had to wait a few minutes more before you would be able to come over to help him. I mean, just look at me.” an awkward grin, and Link had lifted up the bag of flour, holding it above his head. “Surely, the fact that I am willing to help with something just a few hours after having barely made it back to the ship in time should count for something, so it will probably be enough to make him agree to let it wait for a bit.”</p>
<p>Midna did not get the chance to respond before Ilia, drawing her brows together, had shot a look at both her and Link, the expression on her face making sure that they knew exactly what she would say before she had as much as opened her mouth. “Wait,” Ilia said, her tone of voice instantly making Link’s smile falter to instead be replaced by a sheepish look as he too realised what he had just said, “what do you mean that you barely made it back in time? I thought I had asked you not to take a risk that was too great for you.”</p>
<p>They heard Link try to think of something that would be able to convince her that that had not been the case, but from the way Ilia shook her head at him when she moved over to help him lift up the sack of flour, walking in front of him to open up the doors, Midna knew that she would most likely be the next to receive the honour of listening to Ilia’s speech about how she did not want for them to expose themselves to unnecessary risks. It should not have been funny, and part of Midna supposed that the tiny smile that found its way onto her face might also have been a way for her to keep the thoughts about what she had seen on the mission away for a moment rather than a sign that she found Ilia’s worry amusing.</p>
<p>However, as she turned back around, having almost managed to forget about Zelda, only to see her standing right there, her hands folded in front of her as she sent her an unsure smile, the grin was wiped off her face in seconds, her stomach instead falling through the air as she realised that she was not prepared to have to face the horror of trying to figure out what to say. It was difficult enough to try to make her way through a conversation with Link and Ilia where the knowledge that, despite everything, they had apparently decided to regard her as a friend and were as such much more inclined to excuse any mistakes she might make when compared to anyone else was able to comfort her, but with Zelda, it felt like she was always saying the wrong thing. If it was not her overreacting and taking her anger out on someone who had just tried to console her, then it was Midna being unable to figure out what had happened for Zelda to be lying in her room, crying into her quilts, only able to state that, had Ilia been here, she was sure she would have been able to figure it out.</p>
<p>“It sounds like she is quite worried about the two of you.” Zelda cast a glance at her, almost like she was trying to gauge whether it had been the right thing to say. Although Midna was sure that her face reflected the same kind of sinking feeling that threatened to overtake her completely, there must have been some kind of flicker in her eyes that told Zelda to continue, for that was what she did, her voice becoming a bit stronger as she added. “Now, I would not try to repeat what she said, but… for what it is worth, I too would like if I would never have to come here to hear that you had been captured.”</p>
<p>The realisation that Zelda’s smile had the same effect on her as when she had first found the pantry in the house felt like hitting the deck of a ship without having bothered to properly tighten the straps of the harness, knocking all the air out of her lungs.</p>
<p>How did she do it? How was Zelda capable of getting such a reaction to something as simple as a smile? Midna was not sure, but had it not been for how she fought to keep her promise to Zelda about how they would make a fresh start, she would surely have assumed that it was some kind of secret ability she had been taught by her tutors back at Hyrule Castle. After all, it would make sense for a princess to be able to instantly disarm anyone without ever having to move. For someone to be able to bring another person almost to the brink of being willing to ignore how little sense any of what they had said made, only wishing to be able to stay close to them no matter the cost—it had to be a treasured ability for a king who had first seized power by trying to convince people that a lie was the truth.</p>
<p>She had been silent for too long. Midna could see that from the way Zelda tilted her head, worry creeping into the smile. And so, coughing once to buy herself a few extra seconds, she forced herself to move, breaking the spell. “I should probably go now,” she said, making a gesture towards the ship behind her, “Jaggle must be waiting for me, and, trust me, you do not want to let him wait for too long.”</p>
<p>Midna had almost turned around, feeling nearly relieved even as she was facing the task of having to move several heavy sacks to the larder, when Zelda reached out, reaching for her wrist.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Zelda’s voice was higher than it had been before, but there had been no need for her to even say anything as Midna had frozen the moment she had touched her, allowing for Zelda to continue. “Wait, I actually wanted to talk with you for a moment.”</p>
<p>“Not right now. I have to help Jaggle.” it was a weak excuse, Midna knew that, and with how Zelda looked at her, there was no doubt about the fact that she knew as well.</p>
<p>But Zelda still tried. “Well, we could talk about it afterwards, could we not? Or, how about this—I help you put away the food so that we can be finished with it even quicker, and then we can talk for a moment. There—a lot has happened since you left, and I have to ask you about something.”</p>
<p>Her stomach had disappeared. It was the only thing that could explain what was happening, the sense of dread that filled her as Midna looked down at Zelda and saw how the look in her eyes gave her a good idea about just what Zelda had heard while she had been gone. The logical thing to do would have been to agree with her, to promise that they would talk about it later. That way, she would not only have got a chance to figure out how she could convince Zelda that it was all lies or that whoever had told her the story had exaggerated it wildly, she would also receive help with transporting the food to the larder. But she simply could not face the prospect of having to figure out just what she would do, not right now at least. Maybe once she had been able to sleep for an entire night, when she had got the chance to figure out what to think about the maid, the symbol, and the claim that they were not alone after all. But not right now.</p>
<p>Pulling her hand away from Zelda and trying to tell herself that she could not feel how her heart broke as Zelda tried to hide the fact that she was close to tears, Midna shook her head and mumbled her answer to the request. “No.” it would have been easier to end the conversation there, to tell herself that she did not have to care about what Zelda thought of the fact that she did not want to discuss her past right then, but for some reason, Midna heard herself continue rather than stop, the words spilling from her lips almost like she had no control over them. “I am sorry, but I am just really tired right now; I have to get some rest. But tomorrow, then we can talk about it.”</p>
<p>The sight of Zelda’s face brightening, the smile returning along with the light in her eyes, was almost enough to make Midna ignore the feeling of having just made a mistake she would not be able to handle the consequences of.</p>
<p>“All right,” Zelda said, “tomorrow them.”</p>
<p>And just like that, Midna knew that she would not be able to escape the fact that she might just have promised Zelda that she would tell her the truth in less than twenty-four hours.</p>
<p>By the time she was finally able to return to her cabin, it felt almost like the universe was counting down to the moment along with her, her heartbeat telling her how time continued to pass even though she would have preferred for it to stop, to give her an unlimited amount of time to figure out what she would have to tell Zelda. But, of course, Midna did not hold that kind of power. She was not even able to keep her eyes open, and after what felt like only a few seconds, the darkness closed in around her, allowing her to enter a restless sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the first couple of seconds after waking up, Midna did not know where she was. As she looked around in her cabin, she knew that it was the exact same room she had lived in for years, the same table, the same chairs, and yet, it felt like everything in the room was too clean, too spotless for someone like her to be living there, the wood shining and the little layer of dirt she had meant to remove form the floor for ages being gone.</p>
<p>And then the second realisation hit her, the fact that for all of this to have happened, it meant that someone had been in there, deciding that they would try their best to ensure that she would wake up to find everything cleaned. Midna already had a good idea of just who that person was, but as she swung her legs over the side of the bed, finding back to the place where she had kicked off her boots the night before, she did not let herself believe it, not fully at least. It would hurt too much to think that it was really the case, only to find out that she had been too quick to try to pat herself on the back for guessing correctly, to have to face the fact that the name that kept repeating in her mind had been nothing but the result of wishful thinking. And yet, as Midna pushed open the door, she could not deny the fact that she was so sure of the identity of the person responsible for the fact that she could touch the door handle without her hand becoming covered in a fine layer of dust that she could not imagine any other possibility than that of that being true.</p>
<p>She found Zelda sitting on the deck of the ship, swinging her legs over the side of the handrail. Even though Midna could see that she was holding onto the wood beneath her, it did not keep the sight from making her heart skip a beat, the irrational fear that she might fall to the ground several metres below if she was not careful making her move forwards slowly, trying her best to ensure that she would not unwarily be the reason that Zelda might jerk with surprise and fall from the ship.</p>
<p>“Hi.” Midna made sure that her voice was soft as she went over to stand next to Zelda, leaning in over the handrail. “I was looking for you.”</p>
<p>At first, Zelda did not react, and Midna was about to repeat herself when she finally looked over at her, a hint of a smile tucking at the corners of her lips. “Well…” Zelda smiled, “you have found me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I have.”</p>
<p>They remained like that for a few seconds. Midna knew that she had meant to ask Zelda about something, but as she followed Zelda’s line of sight, taking in the sight of the hangar in front of them, she found that she could not bring herself to remember it, not when it was so pleasant to stay like this for just a little more, just a few more seconds.</p>
<p>But, of course, the moment came to an end just as she had managed to convince herself that she was really awake.</p>
<p>Turning around, swinging her legs back over the handrail, Zelda pushed herself off the wooden plank so that she was standing on the deck again. By all means, Midna should have been relieved to see that Zelda had taken a few steps back, no longer sitting with her legs dangling over a nasty fall, but for some reason, she found herself aching to return to the moment that had just passed. Still, she forced herself to focus, tried to make sure that she was able to listen and understand as Zelda cocked her head, evidently trying to search for words.</p>
<p>“Midna,” she said at last, and as much as Zelda might have tried to hide it, she was not able to keep the fact that she was wringing her hands from Midna, “Ilia, she told me a bit about you when you were gone.” she must have been able to interpret the way Midna instantly froze, her mind racing with thoughts about just what she might have heard, for Zelda brought up her hands in a placating gesture, hurrying to add. “Uh, well, I asked her about you. In fact, I think you might even be able to claim that I was begging her to tell me the answers to my question, so just—if she told me something that you did not want for me to hear, it was my fault.”</p>
<p>With a sigh, Midna knew that she would not be able to continue to pretend that she was angry, not when Zelda’s breath was becoming quicker and more uneven as the seconds passed between them. “No,” she said, “it is fine. If Ilia told you, then it is all right. But why do you tell me about it?”</p>
<p>“I have a couple of questions.”</p>
<p>The way dread pooled in the pit of her stomach was enough for Midna to know what those questions would most likely entail. Even without looking at Zelda and attempting to interpret the twinkle in her eyes, she knew that it would be more than just a few questions about why she lived here, why she had not yet tried to move away from the base if they always struggled to make it through the winter. But she made sure to put on the mask of not caring and nodded towards Zelda. “All right. Ask, and I will answer those I have an answer to.”</p>
<p>Despite her admittedly weak attempt at assuring her that it was fine, that she would not overreact again, it was apparent that Zelda hesitated, how she decided to begin with the easiest questions. Leaning in a little bit, bringing the two of them closer together, she sent Midna a nervous smile as she began. “You and Ilia seem like you are quite good friends.”</p>
<p>“We are.” there was no need for Midna to lie, not when it was this kind of questions. If only they would remain as harmless, then perhaps everything would be fine. “I don’t know exactly how it began, but, by now, I cannot imagine what my life would have been like if I had not got to know her. And Link, of course.”</p>
<p>Zelda sent her a grin. “She said something that sounded a lot like that as well. Or, well—” there was an almost mischievous twinkle in her eyes as Zelda continued, “she might have used a lot of ‘he is amazing’’s and ‘I love him, even if he sometimes acts like he is not aware of the risks associated with these missions’’s while telling me about Link than what I think you would have used.”</p>
<p>At that, Midna snickered. “I would say that that is most likely correct. Link might be dreamy, but it is not enough to make me ignore the fact that I have had to save his lives more times than I can count.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed, Midna knew that she had made a poor choice when deciding what to say. The way Zelda averted her gaze, the laugh dying on her lips was enough to tell her that.</p>
<p>“Actually, that was what I was wanting to talk with you about.” when Zelda looked back up at her, Midna could not find even the faintest trace of the laughter that had just been between them, Zelda seeming more serious than what Midna could recall having ever seen her be before. “Ilia—after I had asked her about how you met a few times too many and she gave up on trying to convince me that you had just so happened to find her when she had been out in the forest to see if any animals had been caught in one of Rusl’s traps and offered to bring her to the base, well, she told me the truth, or at least what she perceived to be the truth.” Midna already knew what Zelda would say, closing her eyes as Zelda added. “But... I wanted to ask you about it to make sure that it was really what happened. I know you would hate it if I thought that you had done something heroic if that was not actually the case.” the unsure smile was so strong that Midna could almost hear it in her voice as Zelda cleared her throat. “Is it true? Did you and Link save everyone from Ordon Village?”</p>
<p>Fire. Smoke. Destruction and lives that had changed in minutes. She hated having to face the memories, and yet, as Midna looked over at Zelda, she could not bring herself to tell her that she really did not want to think about it. So instead, she nodded. “Yes.”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>The question was barely more than another breath. Midna could not blame Zelda for not daring to speak louder than that. Just weeks ago, Midna knew herself well enough to admit that such a question would have made her shut off completely, sneer that it did not concern her, and then twirl around to head back to her cabin where she would slam the door behind her.</p>
<p>But now, she could only look at Zelda and bow her head. “We did.” before Zelda got the chance to ask for an explanation, Midna held up her hand. If she was interrupted, she was not sure she would be able to find the strength to continue. “I—you have to understand that Link and I had spent years together at that point, first living in the streets of Hateno and then flying through the clouds, always staying close to a cloud to make sure that we would be able to hide from the king’s airships. We had seen the results of openly opposing him, and as such, we were only trying to survive. But when we spotted the column of smoke in the distance and looked at each other, we both knew that, this time, we would not arrive to find the ruins of a village where the fire had died a long time ago and where the few survivors who might have been unlucky enough to escape the initial attack would have been caught. We knew that here, we would find the corpses of those who had not made away in time, but also the panicked people who were trying to understand what happened.” the laugh that made its way up her throat was completely devoid of humour, and Midna could see from the way Zelda moved, almost like she had been about to reach out for her hand, that she knew that. “To this day, I still can’t tell you what made me insist that we should head over to look at what had happened. As I am sure you have realised already with how Ilia is constantly reminding him to take better care of himself, it should have been Link who would be the one to try to convince me that we should fly directly towards the destruction, but in that moment, I was the one arguing that we would have plenty of time before another ship full of soldiers would arrive to make sure that they had not allowed anyone to escape the destruction of the village. So we landed the ship just outside the forest and made our way towards the village, trying our best to assure any people who might have tried to hide from us that we were only there to help them.”</p>
<p>“And then you found Ilia?”</p>
<p>“No.” Midna shook her head. “We found Rusl.” Zelda’s eyes looked shiny, and with how Midna felt the world blur around her only a second after, she knew that she was not the only one who was close to tears. But she still forced herself not to stop. “He—I don’t know why, but for some reason, we were able to convince him that we really did not want to let any harm come to them within moments. After that, he was able to find the other survivors in only a couple of minutes, running around the glade and calling the names of people we had never met before. But despite the fact that we were total strangers, the moment Link let the fact that we had a ship and that we might have found a place where we could be safe from Ganondorf slip, they were more than ready to come back with us. I know that it was only because they had lost everything and that staying there would mean being captured by the king within a couple of hours, but as we sailed home I could almost not believe that it had really happened.” the urge to use her hand to mask the next words was almost more than what Midna could take, but, although she did not know from where, she was able to muster up the strength not to do it. “It felt like I had just found a new family, and although I know that it was not the case, it did not keep me from volunteering to steer the ship through the night.” she fell silent, not trusting herself not to cry if she would have continued.</p>
<p>Thankfully, Zelda was prepared to not let the silence fill the air between them again.</p>
<p>With one hand on the railing and the other placed on Midna’s arm, she looked almost like she was trying to understand what she had felt like as she tilted her head to the side, stuttering for a moment before she was finally able to speak clearly enough for Midna to understand her. “And… I am sorry, but I just can’t help but wonder if that is the reason for why they always seemed to be ready to follow you and agree with anything you might say.”</p>
<p>The silent question was obvious, Zelda trying her best to gauge whether she had just insulted her with the insinuation that the only reason people would listen to Midna was that they looked at her and saw the person responsible for having saved them. But despite how Midna would have loved to say that she was angry, that she was mere seconds away from telling Zelda how that was not the case and that it was an insult to assume otherwise, the only emotion that filled her at the sound of someone finally putting the obvious into words was relief. Relief that she would no longer have to pretend that the other residents of the base were able to fool her into thinking that her arguments were really good enough to have convinced them. Relief that there was finally someone there who was ready to say exactly what she thought even though she knew that Midna might very well disagree with her, get angry, tell her that she was a naïve fool.</p>
<p>As Midna looked over at Zelda, it felt almost like it was a completely different person she had first told all of that, for she could not see any of those things in Zelda now.</p>
<p>No, when she looked at her, the fire that burnt in Zelda’s eyes was a sign that—unlike Midna—she would not try her best to push away any proof of there being people out there in the world who looked to her to find hope, would not willingly leave people behind even when she knew that they prayed to the goddesses to ask them to return their princess to them. It was pure idealism, and maybe it was just a sign that Midna was ready for spring to arrive, for it to finally bring warmth back to the base and the hope that they might make it through another year, but she could almost not understand why it had annoyed her so much at first. After all, was idealism not the reason the maid had been willing to risk her own life to help them? Midna thought so. One thing was certain, her willingness to help and risk everything for her sake had nothing to do with Midna’s personality. So the sacrifice had to have been due to the fact that Midna could become more than just herself.</p>
<p>The weight of knowing that she would have to let down everyone, that it was only a matter of time before they would realise that their supposed hero was just as egoistical as the king, felt almost unbearable, so Midna was grateful for the escape Zelda’s question had mercifully provided her with.</p>
<p>Shaking her shoulders a little, trying to pretend that she had not already thought about that a hundred times, Midna laughed. “Maybe. But I wish that they would not do it.”</p>
<p>“Why not? You are a hero, and people usually want to follow the people they deem heroic.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. But I am not a hero—no really.” Midna tried her best to communicate to Zelda that she had to let her finish, and maybe it worked, for Zelda closed her mouth again. “I know that it might sound like that to you, but back then, the only reason I even offered them the chance to join me and Link was that I could not imagine having to live in this base with only one other person. Trust me, as lively as it might seem now, when there are only two persons in here, it feels like a spirit could be waiting around every other corner. So I saved the residents of Ordon Village, not for their sake, but because I did not want to be alone. That is it. I am not a hero.”</p>
<p>But Zelda simply shook her head, stubbornly refusing to admit the truth. “Maybe you don’t think you are a hero, but it does not change the fact that the choice you made back then was certainly heroic.”</p>
<p>And maybe it was the fact that Zelda had reached out to take both her hands, giving them a little squeeze as she looked at her with a smile that was so bright it felt like it should be able to rival the sun, but Midna found that she did not have the strength to argue with her. So instead she shrugged and tried to change the subject. “If you want to think so, I suppose I might not be able to stop you. But, Zelda, now that you have asked me these questions, would it be all right if I asked you one of my own?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” but even as Zelda nodded, it was obvious that she did not really mean it, both with the way her shoulders rose and how her grip around Midna’s hands became tighter. “You can ask me anything you want.”</p>
<p>She knew that she should have told her that she could see how that was not the case, but as Midna stood there, listening to Zelda finally agreeing to let her ask the question that had been in the back of her mind for those last few days, she found that she was not a good enough person to ask something harmless, trying to fool Zelda into thinking that she had always just meant to ask her about what her favourite food other than fruitcake was.</p>
<p>Swallowing her guilt, Midna tried her best to convince herself that she was just doing the exact same thing that Zelda had done to her moments before, but even that was not enough to completely remove the ugly feeling of guilt as she leant in towards her, trying her best to show compassion and empathy rather than annoyance as she asked. “Zelda, may I ask about… well, what about what was the reason for how I found you crying in your room last week?”</p>
<p>Zelda was silent for the longest time, but the moment Midna had come to terms with the fact that she had overstepped her boundaries and as such did not deserve to receive an answer to her questions, she sent her a tense smile. “I suppose I owe you that much, don’t I?”</p>
<p>Midna remained silent. It would not have felt right to nod, to say that, yes, she did indeed think that she deserved an explanation, not even if it felt like every last corner of her mind had become empty, allowing her to focus on nothing but what Zelda would do next.</p>
<p>As it turned out, that thing was to sigh. With a sigh that continued on for so long that Midna was about to ask her if she was all right, Zelda let go of her hands.</p>
<p>Having not anticipated for that to happen, Midna could do nothing but try to ignore the feeling of having made a mistake as her hands swung back to rest at her sides. It did not matter. She had asked for an explanation, and now that there might finally be a bit of hope that she might get it, she was in no position to feel sorry for herself, to miss the feeling of someone standing close to her, the way Zelda almost made it seem like she was able to look at all the horrors around them and yet be able to keep the hope alive without also turning away from the world, unable to both face the truth and not make herself cold.</p>
<p>“I suppose,” Zelda said. Her voice was barely audible, and yet, Midna had no problem hearing every word as Zelda looked back up, tears lining her eyes, “I just… I think that I had not truly understood just how…” she shook her head, “horrible does not even describe it. I just—I know that I should have known, that it was my duty as a princess to know what was happening to the people in my kingdom, but I had no idea about…” she gestured towards the hangar, the mountain around them, nothing and everything, “any of this.”</p>
<p>Zelda stepped, almost falling over, Midna only reacting at the last moment, catching her and pulling her into an embrace as Zelda began to cry, sobs making her entire body shake.</p>
<p>She wanted to feel angry, to tell her that she had no idea about why Zelda had not been willing to believe her all the other times when Midna had tried to convince her that trying to overthrow her father would not be a just fight, that the king was willing to do anything to remain on the throne, but as she held Zelda, Midna could only stroke her hair, whispering useless words into her ear, and hope that it would be enough.</p>
<p>And maybe it was. For although Zelda did not quite stop crying, little by little, she stopped shaking so much that it made her voice indecipherable, instead looking up at Midna, her face red and her eyes puffy as she shook her head. “I am sorry, I know that you had told me, but I just… I couldn’t—”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Midna leant back, trying her best to make sure that she would be able to look directly at her, “I understand. You did not want to have to face it. Don’t apologise for it. I would have done the exact same thing if I had been in your place.”</p>
<p>“But you weren’t. I am the second in line to the throne, and I didn’t know…”</p>
<p>But Midna shook her head. She was not sure why she was suddenly refusing to admit that Zelda should have done more, why she had been able to blame her so easily before only to now be here, trying to convince her that that was not the case, but it seemed that it was how it was now. “That does not change the fact that you have been open about being against his rule from the very beginning. You were the one to talk about how we had to help more people—you were the one thinking about other people. No one here is blaming you for not knowing and neither am I. Besides,” Midna said, hoping that she was not making a mistake as she smiled down at Zelda, “did we not promise each other that from now on, you would not have to be the princess of Hyrule?”</p>
<p>That finally earned her a little smile, Zelda reaching up to wipe a tear away. “I don’t think that was the exact wording of the promise,” she laughed, before the tears streamed down her face again, a grimace that was halfway between joy, relief, and sadness making its way onto her face, “but I would be more than grateful if we could try to do that. I—I don’t want to be the princess, not if these are the actions of the king of Hyrule.”</p>
<p>“Then you don’t have to.”</p>
<p>The way Zelda tried to smile, the laugh sounding more like a sob, but with more joy than Midna had seen from Zelda for days made it feel like time should have stopped right then to give her time to take it all in, to try to make sense of what was happening as Zelda leant closer towards her.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Zelda whispered, pausing with her face so close to Midna’s that she could see how her eyes were the same shade as the sky once the Shadow was above the clouds, the thick sheet of white below shielding them from the king’s ships, before she smiled, “truly, thank you. I cannot explain to you how much it means that you, that you—goddesses, look at me, I am crying, just because I cannot find the words to tell you how—how—”</p>
<p>“It is all right.” Midna tried to mirror Zelda’s expression, but she already knew that her own smile would only be a poor imitation of Zelda’s. There was simply no way she would be able to make Zelda feel the same way she did. “If you ever think of the words you wanted to say, you can tell me then.”</p>
<p>Zelda pulled her shoulders upwards as she smiled, but for once, it did not seem defensive, especially not as she reached out towards Midna, bringing her into an embrace.</p>
<p>“Thank you. I will try to do that,” she whispered.</p>
<p>And for a moment, Midna could pretend that they could stay like that forever, hugging each other so tightly on the deck of the Shadow that she might almost have been able to forget about everything they had yet to do, how it had all been brought on by Zelda’s insistence that Midna might actually be a hero and not just a person trying her best to survive. For when all was said and done, Midna knew that the day where she would find herself with no other choice than to reveal to Zelda that she did not care about anyone but herself would arrive one day. Already, she could feel the maid’s message about how there were people out there, many people, who were hoping for her return, keeping their old queen and the princess who had never been in their prayers, unaware that she was already there, that she had seen their suffering and chosen to pretend not to notice, whirling through her mind. But, for now, Midna could let Zelda believe that there really was more to her than just that, even if the guilt rose as Zelda did not let go of her the moment the hug had lasted for enough time for it to not have been weird. Truth to be told, Midna was not even sure that she wanted her to let go, but it was easier not to think about it, and so, she remained still barely hugging Zelda back, as she waited for the moment when Zelda would let go of her again.</p>
<p>She had not lied to her, she had not tried to claim that she might one day become the hero Zelda had made her out to be, but repeating that over and over to herself did not do much to keep back the guilt, nor the sadness that followed the end of the hug.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have the aftermath of both the mission and Midna having found Zelda in tears.</p>
<p>Also, we are halfway through this story :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It should have felt strange to have Zelda refuse to leave even after she should by all means have awakened to see the reality around her, but as the week progressed, Zelda remaining at her side, Midna found that she began to feel less and less surprised each time she would turn around to see that Zelda was still there next to her, that it was all not a dream. Still, it did not mean that part of her was not convinced that she was dreaming as she sat on the deck of the Shadow with Zelda that Saturday morning, Zelda having convinced her to eat her breakfast with her out there.</p>
<p>“You were right,” Midna admitted halfway through the bowl of porridge, “there was something different about not having to eat inside a dusty cabin every day.”</p>
<p>Zelda laughed, a light, melodic sound that felt like it fit right in with the rising sun that painted the sky red outside, and leant over towards her, a teasing glint in her eyes as she poked her in the side. “Well, what can I say—I am just that great at finding the best places to enjoy these meals!”</p>
<p>As Midna smiled at her, Zelda threw her hair back over her shoulder, a lock having almost made its way past her, into the porridge. Then, the smile faltering a bit, she glanced back over her shoulder, out towards the sky that seemed to have been cut by a knife with the way the red colour and the jagged top of the mountain range in the distance, the one that had once kept the Twilight Realm safe, came together to give off the appearance of a bleeding cut.</p>
<p>“Midna…” Zelda hesitated, her voice becoming lighter, unsure, “do you think that Link is all right? I mean, I know that you told me that this is common and all, but I just can’t help but wonder… that, well, he should have been home yesterday, and now he has had an entire night to make his way home if it was a case of him having got lost somewhere. I cannot help but wonder if he is going to be fine.”</p>
<p>The laugh that had been about to make its way up her throat died instantly, Midna’s smile freezing on her lips. Staring down into her bowl, she forced herself not to let the fact that Zelda’s questions reflected the thoughts that had whirled through her head those last few hours show. It was going to be fine, she had to believe that. Granted, Link might never have stayed out so late; even when it had been the latest, he had always made sure to return before it would be so dark that he would not be able to navigate, to find his way home. And that was not even to mention how he had been supposed to only go out and look through the traps to see if they might have caught a rabbit, going a route that all of them would have been able to walk in their sleep. It would be fine. She knew Link; she had to trust that he would know what to do if anything went wrong.</p>
<p>Trying her best to sound like she believed what she was saying, Midna looked back up. With a smile that felt like it was about to split her face in half with how hollow it was, she nodded. “Of course he will be all right. He has probably just made a wrong turn somewhere and is now trying his best to figure out how he messed up so much. I am telling you, in a few hours, he will be back here, and then the two of us will get a front row seat to listen to Ilia try to hide the fact that she could not eat out of sheer worry for him by pretending that she is angry that he did not get home in time.”</p>
<p>But, rather than looking relieved and returning to her meal, Zelda simply stared down at the ground. Midna could have kicked herself. Of course that was what she would do, of course. Why had she even felt the need to mention Ilia at all? She should have known better. With how much time Zelda and Ilia had spent together, not even to mention the fact that Midna had been well aware of the fact that, when they had to take the ship out for missions, Zelda stayed with Ilia, she should have been able to tell herself that making her note the fact that they had not seen Ilia since dinner the previous day when she had simply poked a bit at the meat and chunk of bread for a bit before announcing that she really was not hungry and would bring it all back to Uli so that they might save it for another day would only serve to make Zelda even more concerned.</p>
<p>“Zelda…” Midna said, pausing as she found herself struggling to think of the words that would be enough to explain what she was thinking. Placing the bowl on the handrail next to her, the metallic clatter telling her that it was barely balancing on top of the narrow piece of wood, she pushed herself closer towards her, hesitating for a moment before she reached out to place her hand on her arm, hoping that it would help to assure Zelda that she trusted Link to be able to take care of himself, “I am sure—no, I know that everything is going to be just fine. I promise you, by this time tomorrow, we will all be laughing as Link tells us the story of how he forgot about the difference between left and right and found out too late that he had been supposed to head in the opposite direction. Just you wait; I know it is what has happened. I—”</p>
<p>The sound of someone trying to yell something, their voice interrupted by what sounded like ragged breathing cut in, making Midna fall silent as both she and Zelda jumped to their feet, turning around to lean out over the handrail to look towards the entrance to the base. Her breakfast completely forgotten, Midna felt how her heart sped up, how she almost instinctively moved over towards Zelda, preparing herself for the moment where she might have to throw both of them to the ground to escape the attack. If it was the king, if he had sent soldiers out to capture them, Midna doubted that there was anything she could do that would not just be a desperate attempt to delay the inevitable for another couple of seconds, but she would at least have to try. Anything would be better than having to spend what would then hopefully be her last couple of hours knowing that she had allowed Ganondorf to catch her without a fight, to bring an end to the kind of fragile freedom they had established within the base, to get his daughter back despite the promise Midna had made to not send her back.</p>
<p>From the way Zelda had frozen in place, her shaking hand being the only thing that showed that she had not been turned into stone, Midna was sure that she was thinking about the same thing, the fact that they would both be ready to give their lives if that was what it would take to protect the base and the people in it.</p>
<p>Midna readied herself. She would not let it come to that. As long as she was still able to do something, she would make sure that Zelda would not have to fight. After all, even though she might have been able to convince Midna to bring her back to the base, Midna was not naïve enough to believe that she could persuade the king’s soldiers not to attack and kill them all simply by smiling at them and looking every bit like a young and desperate woman who just wanted to learn more.</p>
<p>Midna was not sure for how long they stood there. With the adrenaline rushing through her, it felt like each second was slowed down, progressing so slowly that it gave her the chance to notice everything, to look at the gate and wonder if she might be able to lower it before the attackers would be there, and still finding herself unable to move, knowing full well that even if it had not been a matter of seconds before the attack might begin, she could not do it. Rusl’s voice echoed in her ears, but no matter how much Midna tried to focus on it, tried to listen to his advice, she could not hear what he said, the sound being drowned out by the blood flowing through her veins, supplying every muscle with oxygen.</p>
<p>Finally, the cry was repeated, this time louder and clearer, although it was still obvious from the muffled sound of the wind above it that the person screaming was still quite far away from the entrance. Whoever the people outside the base were, they were moving closer towards them, but from the sound of the cry, Midna was sure that, if the wind was in their favour, they would have at least a couple of minutes left before the people would have been able to traverse the last bit of difficult terrain, moving up the mountain to reach the entrance..</p>
<p>“Help! Someone, help me!”</p>
<p>Exchanging a quick glance with Zelda, Midna made a decision, and, reaching out to place her hand on Zelda’s arm, she nodded towards the entrance. “Stay here,” she whispered, “I will go see who it is. Don’t worry; I will be back in a minute, just wait for me here.”</p>
<p>“But—”</p>
<p>Even with most of her protest disappearing before Zelda even got the chance to finish the sentence, Midna still knew what she would have said. It was not only stupid to go out to meet the people alone, it was downright foolish. If anything went wrong, if it really was a clever ploy, a way for the king’s soldiers to fool them into showing themselves, Midna would be alone. She would not have to listen to Zelda to know what the consequences of that might be. All the times they had attacked the ships that had been under protection of Hyrulean soldiers, it had been obvious how the only thing keeping the soldiers from using their far more advanced weaponry, the muskets on their backs and the guns at their sides, had been the fact that, once they were already among them, fighting by using the element of surprise and their numbers to their advantage, they would not be able to shoot at them without also risking the life of any soldier who might be unfortunate enough to be close to one of the pirates. But if she stood there outside, poking her head out from within the base, she would be the perfect target.</p>
<p>Still, Midna tried to push the fear that began to wake in her stomach away, telling herself that, with her hair colour, she at least had the benefit that she would be able to blend in with the sky behind her more easily than Zelda might have been able to.</p>
<p>With one last look back at Zelda—if things went wrong, she wanted to be able to remember this moment—Midna forced herself to move over to the rope ladder, not thinking about everything that might happen now. The most likely outcome of all of this was that she had just imagined things. With the wind tearing through the forest outside, their place up on the mountain amplifying every noise, it would not be so hard to believe that that might be the case. Even if she had never experienced something that sounded so much like actual words before, Midna had to believe that it might be the case. She had to.</p>
<p>Outside, the world was covered in a solid layer of snow, the brightness as the rays of the sun hit the surface almost making Midna struggle to keep her eyes open. Hoping that it would be enough to offer her a distraction if the worst thing was to happen, she leant out, casting a quick glance towards the path to her right. Then she saw it.</p>
<p>With his green tunic soaked with melted water and the snow that had yet to melt completely almost shining in his hair, Link looked exactly as exhausted as Midna would have expected from someone who had been forced to spend the night in the forest. But that was not the reason for why she struggled to breathe for a moment, having to remind herself of how to continue to push air into her lungs.</p>
<p>Link was not alone. Next to him, having an arm around Link was a man whom Midna had never seen before. He looked even worse than Link, exhaustion and desperation making his face look almost empty, and yet, it was apparent how he was the one of the two to make sure that they would continue to move forwards, taking long steps as he pulled Link along with him, refusing to let go of him.</p>
<p>With how his face lit up, Midna knew the exact moment where he spotted her standing up there. Turning around to yell something at Link, the wind stealing the words away from her, the man quickened his pace a little, something Midna would not have thought possible just moments before.</p>
<p>“Help!” he must have put all his energy into yelling the words, for despite how the wind pulled at her hair and her clothes, howling in her ears, Midna could still hear the man as he continued. “I am begging you, I need your help!”</p>
<p>It was stupid. It was so incredibly stupid, but for some reason, Midna found herself moving away from the entrance to the base. Without turning around to make sure that someone knew where she was, she hurried along the path, almost falling over a loose rock in front of her.</p>
<p>“Yes?” she screamed, making it over to the man. “Tell me, what do you need my help for?”</p>
<p>But it would appear that he had truly used the last bit of his strength trying to call out for her, for the man only nodded, his eyes becoming unfocused as he struggled to continue to move. Midna barely had time to reach out to grab his arm the moment before he would have fallen over, dragging Link down with him.</p>
<p>Slinging his arm over her neck and trying to help Link move them both the last couple of metres they had left between themselves and the base, Midna looked over at Link. “Who is he?”</p>
<p>Link only shook his head. “I don’t know. I found him in the forest, rambling about two sisters he had left behind, about how he had to get help as they would die soon if he did not.” the way Link’s face turned into a pained grimace told her more than he ever would have been able to, but it did not keep Link from gesturing towards himself, struggling to find the air to add. “I—can I tell you about it once we make it into the base?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Midna did not know where her calm reaction came from, why she did not demand an explanation now, why she was willing to help Link move a man neither of them knew into the base, giving away the location of the only safe space away to someone who, for all they knew, could very well be one of Ganondorf’s spies. But she could not let go of him, not when it was so apparent that Link had struggled for hours to get back to the base with him, not when the man had begged for her help. “Just—there is only a few metres left.”</p>
<p>They made it through the entrance, Link immediately collapsing, sitting down on the floor.</p>
<p>Once she was left all alone to hold the man, Midna found that she did not have the strength to do so. Maybe she would have felt guilty for how she had to let go of him, letting him fall to the floor in a heap of limbs that looked like it was nothing but a miracle that had made him able to get through the forest and up the mountain with Link, but seeing as even the last couple of metres had required all her strength to get through, she found it difficult to truly feel sorry for him. At least he was alive. In the multiple scenarios playing out in her head, the ways that would explain why he was here, there were plenty of other people who had not been that lucky.</p>
<p>It was the sound of quick footsteps against the stone below them that told Midna that Zelda had not listened to her, and had instead come over to join them.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?” Zelda almost yelled the question, kneeling down next to the man.</p>
<p>Just as Midna had opened her mouth to let Zelda know that she doubted the man was in any condition to answer the question, he seemed to find a hidden source of strength.</p>
<p>Pushing himself off the floor, he shook his head, the motion seeming unsure. “Yes,” he whispered with a hoarse voice, “but the others, they…” he let the sentence trail off, a distant look in his eyes.</p>
<p>Perhaps she should have given him time to continue on his own, but as Midna looked over towards where Link was slowly beginning to stir again, pressing a hand against his head, and realised how much he must have hurried to get the man back home to them, she knew that they might not have the time for that. So, although she could tell how all that stood between the man and passing out was the fact that he had yet to receive a confirmation that they would help him, Midna moved towards him, making sure that it was clear that she wanted an answer now as she looked at him. “Who? Are there other people out there?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” the man breathed, “the king, we had heard that he would take the ranch—something about their parents being rebels, I don’t know,” he shook his head, coming dangerously close to falling asleep before he looked back up again, his gaze becoming clearer for a second, “but we ran. And somewhere along the path into the forest, we got separated.”</p>
<p>“Do you know where they are? Where are you from?” the idea forming in her head was nothing short of idiotic, but as Midna felt Zelda turn to look over at her, she knew that it was too late to stop now. Her momentum called for her to continue.</p>
<p>“Clock Town. They must be somewhere along the edge of the forest, close to Milk Road. Please, I told them we would be safe in the forest. If anything happens to them—”</p>
<p>“They will be fine.” Midna was not sure what had happened to her, why she was standing up, walking over to kneel down next to where Link had finally seemed to regain consciousness. “I promise that I will make sure that they are all right. Link.” she looked down at him, hoping that he would be able to know everything she wanted to say but could not say out loud as long as the man was sitting right next to them, still panicking about the two he had left behind, from the look in her eyes.</p>
<p>It appeared to be the case, for, with a sense of agility Midna would not have expected to see from someone who had been lying on the floor mere minutes ago, Link got back up. He did not even have to accept her offer to help him, gently pushing the outstretched hand away as he too looked over at the man.</p>
<p>“Yes. Don’t worry; we will go out to find them now. Milk Road.” Link mumbled the word, looking over at Midna. “It should only be, what—about four hours away?” when Midna nodded, hoping that no one would notice how her shaking hands made it obvious that she doubted if they would even have that much time, if the rest of the group the man had spoken about would be able to remain hidden from the king’s soldiers for so long, Link turned back towards the man. “I promise you that we will do our best. If everything works out, we should be back here with them in just eight hours, so don’t worry…?” Link raised a brow.</p>
<p>“Grog,” the man—Grog—whispered, “and their names are Cremia and Romani.”</p>
<p>Link nodded. “Well then, Grog, we will try our best to have Cremia and Romani back here in time for dinner. Don’t worry, it will be fine.”</p>
<p>But it did not seem that Grog understood them, not with how he looked content to just lie there, mumbling something that Midna could not understand.</p>
<p>So, rather than trying to get more information from a man who had clearly been through too much already for it to have been technically possible for him to still be awake, she turned towards Zelda. “Will you…?” she nodded towards Grog, hoping that Zelda understood the meaning of that.</p>
<p>Zelda frowned, the displeased expression on her face letting Midna know that she had understood it. “I had hoped that I might be able to—to perhaps come with you.” Zelda let out a loud sigh, seemingly knowing what the answer to such an idea would be already, as she turned back towards Grog and nodded. “But if you need me to make sure that he will be all right, then I will do that.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. Just bring him to Uli—I am sure that she will know what to do. If anyone asks about where Link and I am, can you try to assure them that everything will be all right?” already as she asked, Midna could not help but wonder if it was even necessary. From everything she had ever seen Zelda do, there was hardly any need for her to ask her to be optimistic against all odds.</p>
<p>But then again, perhaps there was, for Zelda’s reluctant smile faltered in an instant, instead being replaced with a fearful look. “Wait,” she asked, reaching out towards Midna, almost letting go of Grog in the process, “is… is there a chance that you might not be all right after all?”</p>
<p>The truth would have been to look at her and tell Zelda that no matter how cautious Midna might be, she could never guarantee anything, that, even if she stayed within the mountain, she would not be able to promise that the next moment would not be the moment where Ganondorf had finally found them and arrived to make sure that they would not be allowed to remain alive, able to perhaps one day oppose him. But as she opened her mouth, all Midna could think about was the maid, the way she had looked up at her, making it seem almost like Midna’s mere presence was enough to give hope to the people around her. If that was the case, if she had that kind of power simply because it had been part of her family’s past, who would Midna be if she did not at least attempt to use it to soften the worried look in Zelda’s eyes? She did not know the answer to that question, but even then, Midna knew that she would have to try.</p>
<p>“No.” she shook her head, reaching out to take Link’s hand, signalling to him that now was not the moment to mention how she was lying. “No, of course not. It’s just—well, you saw yourself how we were both quick to worry about Link even when he was perfectly fine. I would prefer if we could keep something like that from happening while we are gone as well. So just… tell them that we will be fine. Besides, it is just Milk Road. Clock Town is not exactly Hyrule Castle, so I doubt that we will have any problems out there.” she was rambling, Midna could hear it, hear how every word was really only making it more and more obvious how she was lying.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda was just eager to believe her. That, or she saw the way Midna was already filled with an anxious sense of energy, how her hands shook as the fact that, with each second they were wasting here, Cremia and Romani had to remain hidden for another second, dawned on her, and reached the conclusion that the best thing she could do now was not to argue with her, but rather making sure that they would be able to leave immediately.</p>
<p>“Very well, then.” Zelda reached out, pulling Grog to his feet. His head rolled to the side, but he did make a little sound as he moved along with her, dragging his feet over the floor as Zelda slowly began to make her way over to the side of the hangar, only pausing for a moment as she passed Midna, sending her a tiny smile. “I will do that. Just… please, Midna, try to be careful.”</p>
<p>Midna waited until Zelda had continued before she answered. “I will.” the word was barely audible, and she doubted that Zelda had even heard it. For some reason, it just felt easier that way, knowing that she had not made a promise to her that Midna knew she might not be able to keep.</p>
<p>Turning around, trying to keep herself from thinking about what the maid would have said if she could see her now, if she could see who the rebel she might have envisioned her as really was, Midna sent a glance towards Link.</p>
<p>He looked like he needed to hurry to his room to get a chance to sleep for hours. Soaked in water and with his teeth clattering, it could not have been more clear that the last thing he needed right now was for her to drag him along on some mission to rescue two girls they did not even know, two girls who might very well have been caught in the time it had taken for Grog and Link to make it back to the base, making it so that they might arrive to find that the soldiers had prepared a trap for them.</p>
<p>Thankfully, Link brought an end to the silence, freeing Midna from having to ask the question she already knew he would say yes to without stopping to worry about his own safety for even a moment. Somehow managing to stand up a bit straighter, almost enough to trick her into thinking that he had not just been awake for over twenty-four hours, Link took a deep breath and motioned towards the Shadow. “So,” he said, “I think we might have promised Grog that we would have them back in time for dinner, so we should probably hurry a bit.”</p>
<p>She wanted to protest, to tell Link that she would be able to take care of the situation on her own. Midna supposed that the fact that she did not do any of that, instead following along after Link, climbing up onto the deck after him, was simply yet another sign that both Zelda and the maid had been wrong about her, but in that moment she was too relieved that she would not have to face the situation on her own, that Link would come with her, to truly feel guilty about it.</p>
<p>By the time they had prepared the ship, both of them working quickly without ever putting the reason for it, the fact that they did not want to have to explain to anyone what they were doing, into words, the sun had risen to hang above the Eldin Mountains, almost like it wanted to show them where the town Grog, Cremia, and Romani had fled from was.</p>
<p>They did not give themselves a moment to regret their decision, already knowing that, the more they would delay the journey, the more dangerous it would seem. Instead, they took to the skies.</p>
<p>As the mountain became smaller below them, Midna steering the ship upwards, over the clouds that soon kept her from being able to see it at all, Midna was at once glad that it was so and ashamed that such a little thing could have an effect on her. If the sky had still been the colour of blood, fire, and destruction, it would have felt too much like they were travelling towards the same sight of ruin that had been all that had been left of Ordon Village when they had found it all those years ago. Now, Midna could at least try to tell herself that she was not about to repeat that, that she would not land to instantly have to fight to keep back the bile as the smell of burning flesh would hit her.</p>
<p>However, try as she might, Midna was not able to convince herself that she did not worry, that her mind did not return to the memory of Ordon Village each time she let her thoughts wander even a little. She was not sure if her expression had made what she was thinking about clear, but as Link came over to stand next to her, she could not help but feel like that was the case, especially as Link looked over at her for several minutes without ever saying anything.</p>
<p>Finally, he cleared his throat. Looking directly ahead, almost like he did not want to meet her gaze in that moment, he spoke. “I just thought that you should know about how I met Grog.” Midna remained silent, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the sentiment, something Link seemed to decide to view as her agreeing with him, as he continued. “I met him in the forest. He was frantic, running around in circles. It took ages to convince him that I was not a Hyrulean soldier, that I really did only want to help him, but, somehow, I must have been able to convince him that he could trust me.”</p>
<p>Link said it like it was some kind of great mystery. Midna drew her brows together, struggling to understand the reasons for that. Was Link not aware of the fact that, should he ever want to do so, he would easily be able to convince everyone in the base to follow him and leave her behind? Despite how she knew that their feelings of gratitude seemed to be evenly split between herself and Link, Midna was not dumb enough to think that it would not change the moment she and Link would openly disagree with one another. If that ever were to happen, everyone would surely follow Link, simply because he was able to smile when other people wanted him to, able to read a situation and then act the way he had to to make everyone follow him. Except that he was not even trying. That was perhaps what hurt the most, the fact that Midna had to live with the fact that, should Link ever really think about leaving, she would be left all alone when everyone else would follow him as well, and know that it was all her fault, that, if just she had been better at controlling her anger, she might be able to be as kind as he was.</p>
<p>It was not until Link fell silent, looking over at her with an expectant look, that Midna realised that he had just asked her a question.</p>
<p>Hoping that she was not blushing as much as the warm feeling in her cheeks would indicate, Midna adopted an apologetic expression. “I am sorry, I think I was a bit distracted there. Will you please repeat what you said?”</p>
<p>For a moment, it seemed almost like Link would ask her why she had been so distracted, and Midna felt her stomach drop to the ground in those few seconds, but then he nodded, turning away from her again. “Of course. I was just wondering about how he was able to make his way over the Eldin Mountains. I mean, I get that he was trying to lead them to safety in the forest, but I can’t see any reason that would explain why they would not have stayed in on the other side of the mountain range. For him to have made his way across, it would mean that he moved out into the open, running along the narrow path up the mountain even though everyone can see that there is nowhere to hide there.” Link hesitated, clearly unsure of whether or not he should continue, and although Midna was already sure about what he was about to say, she remained silent, not wanting to interrupt him when he looked back up and, shaking his head slightly, continued. “The only reason for doing that that I can think of is that there is a base here, but… he should not have been able to know about it.”</p>
<p>The question that remained between them was obvious. Could there be another reason for why Grog had been willing to take that risk, to put himself into a position where he might very well have been captured by Ganondorf’s soldiers, something that would not imply that the safety of their base could have been compromised, that someone did know about them after all? Instantly, the maid’s words about how there were plenty of people out there who did not believe in the lie about the queen’s death echoed in Midna’s ears. If that was true, if there really were people out there who thought that, was it really so difficult to believe that their base might not be as secret as Midna had assumed? She had burnt the book with the map of the military structures of the Twilight Realm, not trusting herself enough to keep it, destroying what little she had left of her past to ensure that they would be safe, the relief of knowing that they would be able to have a home now drowning out the sadness as the ashes were taken by the wind. Had all of that been for nothing?</p>
<p>She was crying. Midna could see how the tears made the world around her blurry, and although she knew that it would hardly be the first time Link would see her like that, right then, she could not even begin to imagine having to face the horror that trying to explain the reason for her tears to him would be. So, hastily wiping the tears away, she nodded towards the cabin below them. “Link, I don’t have any theories that would be able to explain that, but don’t you think it would be better if you had got even just a couple of hours of sleep before we land? I am not saying that there will be a battle, but, between you and me, I think we both know that what I told Zelda might not have been the entire truth. And if the worst thing should happen, I would prefer to have you fully rested, less likely to accidentally hit me.” she let her voice rise, but even then, Midna could hear how obvious it was that she was simply making excuses, trying to get Link out of the way.</p>
<p>Link placed his hand on top of hers, clearly knowing the real reason for why she so suddenly began to worry about his wellbeing. “Are you sure you will be all right out here?” he did not have to specify just what he meant; his tone of voice took care of that all on its own.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Midna nodded, trying to convince herself that she was not lying, not directly at least. “I will be fine, don’t worry about me.”</p>
<p>Despite that, Link still stayed for a few minutes more before he at last turned around and left. Midna heard the door close, and then, finally knowing that she was alone, she allowed her thoughts to fly freely.</p>
<p>The maid. Midna had tried and tried again to forget about what she had said, the little emblem, and how she had been the reason they had made it back to the ship in time, but she continued to return to her thoughts. It was ridiculous to think that it might be true, that the people she had talked about were more than just a handful of young people who had yet to learn that the best way to stay alive was to stay silent. Really, the fact that she was not able to banish all thoughts about it from her mind should have alerted her to the fact that she had begun to let Zelda’s stubborn insistence that they could change the world through sheer determination alone affect her.</p>
<p>Except, Rusl had said the same. Midna felt the rough surface of the rudder press against her skin, a few splinters digging into her hands as she tried to recall what he had told her. It felt like an eternity ago that she had last talked with him, and now, she was here, carefully digging through the chest, careful to not let any other thing escape. Even just trying to remember him was stupid, considering the fact that, should it come to a battle, Midna could hardly afford being distracted by thoughts about what she should have done differently, and still, she did not stop, did not slow down. He had said that he trusted Zelda, hadn’t he? Midna was almost sure of it; it was something so inexplicably like Rusl, to believe in a person Midna could not see any reason to trust. He had been right about Zelda. In the end, his judgement of her had been more correct than Midna’s.</p>
<p>The conclusion she reached was as terrifying as it was obvious. If he had been able to correctly predict that they could trust Zelda, could it be that he had also been right about his observations about how there were things people would sacrifice their lives for? He had said himself that he would not hesitate to sacrifice his life if that was what it would take, so could it be that there might be other people out there who shared that opinion, the courage to look at themselves and decide that, compared with the cause, they were worth less?</p>
<p>It was both inspiring and so much weight added to her already tired shoulders that Midna felt like screaming. If she was correct, and the more she thought about it, the more certain Midna was that that was really the case, it would mean that she was some kind of symbol for the people the maid had referred to. They would look to her if they ever decided to do something, to let the words become actions and rise up against the king. And then where would Midna be?</p>
<p>She only had to remember how she had been pulled through the air, unable to do anything but to watch as Rusl was captured to know what the answer to that question was. She would be far away, too preoccupied with herself and the few people she had room for in her heart to be willing to risk her life for a cause she already knew was hopeless. Midna had shown that both with Rusl, with Zelda, with everyone really. They wanted a leader, and she would not be able to give it to them, not as long as she knew that all that would ever come from an attempt at openly going against the king was blood and destruction. It would not work, and although Midna supposed that she should have been willing to do more to, if nothing else, preserve the memory of Rusl, ensuring that everything he had talked about back when she had hissed at him and told him that she would not mourn him, would not remain nothing but a fantasy of a world that could never be, but she could not bring herself to forget about the fact that doing so would be the same as signing the death warrant of everyone in the base. For although Rusl might have been strong enough to not give up the location of their fortress, Midna doubted that she would be able to do the same.</p>
<p>With how the thoughts continued to appear, it was almost a relief to see how the clouds slowly began to become sparser beneath the ship, allowing Midna to look down as they passed the Eldin Mountains. It should not have changed anything to fly over them, not when the border between Hyrule and the Twilight Realm now only existed in the memory of those who believed that they could achieve the distinction again, and yet, Midna felt how her heartbeat sped up, her breathing becoming a bit quicker, almost like her body responded to the fact that they had just crossed the border by preparing itself for a battle.</p>
<p>Hoping that she was worrying over nothing, Midna landed the ship in a small glade among the trees, only a few hundred metres away from the edge of the forest.</p>
<p>Link must have been watching from through the porthole, for the moment Midna set foot on the deck, he was already there, closing the door behind him.</p>
<p>“Where do you think they are?” he asked, walking over to stand next to her at the handrail.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Midna looked out at the landscape, trying to figure out where she would try to hide if she had been the one on the run from the king’s guards. “But they have to be close by, or at least they have been if I understood Grog correctly.”</p>
<p>Link did not answer, but she hadn’t expected him to.</p>
<p>For a moment, they both simply looked out at the forest and the meadow they could see just outside, the two separated by a wide road, two deep wheel tracks making sure that they knew how it had earned itself the name of Milk Road. And then Midna saw it.</p>
<p>“There!” she whispered, almost afraid that the trees around them would grow ears and tell the king’s soldiers what she was saying if she did not try to stay quiet. “Right over there!” pointing towards the tree sitting on a little hill towards the front of the meadow, right where it met the road, Midna tried her best to direct Link’s attention towards the little hiding place the tree’s roots created. With its location, the way the tree leant over the road, it was almost like a cave. The more Midna looked at it, the more it seemed obvious to her that for two people on the run, someone who had just been forced to give up their ranch, it would be the perfect place to hide, close to the meadow, the forest, and the road they were bound to find familiar.</p>
<p>It seemed that Link agreed with her, for, without another word, he turned around and began to walk over towards the rope ladder.</p>
<p>Midna barely had time to reach out, stopping him moments before he would have begun to climb down onto the ground. “Wait, Link, we have to plan this,” she hissed, “we promised Grog that they would be all right, so we need to figure out how to do this.”</p>
<p>That caught his attention, and, with a look on his face that clearly told her that he had not even thought about the dangers that simply sprinting over towards the tree might create both for themselves and for Cremia and Romani, he stopped halfway through the motion of reaching out to grab the ladder. “I did not even think about that,” he said, the words sounding like they were meant more for himself than for her, “Farore, Midna, I was about to just run over there.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I know, you were tired and didn’t think about it. Now, what we do actually have to worry about is just how we can convince them that we are not some kind of spies. I mean, assuming that they are still here and that they have not been caught yet, they are not stupid. They will know better than to trust anyone, not even to mention the fact that we don’t know if the soldiers are following them or not. For all we know, they might be right around the corner, waiting for these two to reveal themselves, giving away their position.”</p>
<p>“What should we do?”</p>
<p>“Easy,” Midna said, hoping that by faking confidence, she might be able to fool herself into thinking that it really might be easy, “you will stay here, and then I will go over to talk with them.” instantly, she could see how Link prepared himself to object to the plan. If she was being honest, Midna could not say that she blamed him for that. Even though Link would never say so to her, they both knew that he would have a much better chance of being able to calm down Cremia and Romani, of being able to figure out the right things to tell the two who had by now had to hide from the Hyrulean forces for at least a day. He would be able to convince them in an instant, would be able to tell them how they would be able to offer them safety and security if they came back home with them. But as Midna looked at Link, staring directly into his eyes like that alone would be able to convince him, she knew that she had to do this, and so, she continued. “Link. You and I both know that you are the better person of the two of us. If you go out there, you would have them back here in a minute. But—” she shook her head, forcing herself to keep back the tears, “it will be dangerous, and if anything happens, I would prefer for you to be back here, close to the ship. That way, you would be able to escape if anything went wrong.”</p>
<p>She did not have to mention Rusl’s name. Even just by looking at Link, she could tell that they were both recalling where they had been in that moment.</p>
<p>“But…” Link said, speaking slowly, almost like she was not already aware of what he was thinking, “what if anything happens? Then you would be out there. What will you do then?”</p>
<p>“Then I will feel completely safe knowing that you are back here, ready to provide cover for us as we sprint back to the ship.” she could see how he was still not convinced, that Link would still insist on risking his own life rather than hers. Reaching out to take his hand felt manipulative, but it was all she could do in that moment, giving Link’s hand a squeeze and hoping that it would be enough to let him know that she had to do this. “Link, listen… if anything happens, I promise you that I will try my best to make it back here alive. Besides, I would only have to reach the ship to be safe since the rope ladder faces away from the road.” her voice trembled a little, and Midna knew that she was not fooling anyone, not even herself. If she got to the ship, she would still have to wait for both Cremia and Romani to climb up the rope ladder, before she too would be able to join them, and even then, they would still have to lose the king’s ships before they would be able to return home to the base.</p>
<p>She could see all of that and more reflected in Link’s eyes, but, finally, he nodded at her, clenching his jaw. “If you have to do it, I doubt I would be able to stop you. Just promise me that you will be careful.”</p>
<p>And that was what it was really about, was it not? The fact that Midna knew that she owed everyone who had ever been blind enough to look at her and see someone worth risking their life for this much. Rusl, the maid, the servants, they all deserved more than for her to brush their sacrifices aside with a weak excuse that she had never asked for any of it. She had to do it. Midna had to be the one risking her life to make sure that they would be able to keep the hasty promise she had made to Grog.</p>
<p>The mossy ground beneath her softened the sound of her footsteps as Midna made her way around the ship, but by the time she reached the Milk Road, she already knew that she would not be granted the same kind of secrecy there. Each and every step disrupted the tiny stones beneath her feet.</p>
<p>But perhaps she really did have quite a bit of luck left over from the times when Ilia had told her she would pray for her, for, somehow, she was able to reach the meadow without her fears of a soldier jumping out from behind the oak tree in front of her coming true. However, as she stood there in front of what she had determined to be the most likely hiding place along the part of the road that ran close to the mountains and the forest, a small, irrational part of her could not help but wonder if this was really less terrifying than a soldier. At least she would know what to do if the soldier were to appear. It was more difficult to shoot the sense of dread that was filling more and more of her stomach as the seconds passed.</p>
<p>Finally deciding that she would never be ready, Midna leant closer to the tree, keeping herself from pushing the long blades of grass that partly covered the little cave aside, and, trying her best to make her voice warm and welcoming, she began. “Hello? Is there anyone there? Cremia? Romani? Don’t be afraid—I was sent here by Grog. He begged me to help you.”</p>
<p>She did not receive an answer. Of course not. Either Cremia and Romani would have answered anyone who claimed to be there to help them, in which case Midna knew better than to think that they would still be there, or they were trying their best not to breathe, not to make a single sound that might give away the fact that they were hiding mere metres away from her. Midna could only hope that it was the latter.</p>
<p>But, as much as she wanted to remain hopeful, Midna could hear how an edge of frustration made its way into her voice as she continued. “I promise you that I am not here to harm you. In fact, if the soldiers were to find us now, I think that they would chase me rather than you.” the sound that escaped from her sounded like a laugh, but Midna knew that it had nothing to do with actual joy and instead everything to do with the absurdity of the situation, the fact that she was standing here, trying to convince what might very well just be a tree that it was a good thing that she had to fight the instinct to simply barge in there and force them to come back out with her, dragging both Cremia and Romani back to the ship with her to make sure that they would be long gone by the time the soldiers might possibly figure out where the two of them had gone.</p>
<p>Trying again, Midna leant a little bit closer, almost like it would make them more likely to trust her that she was sitting closer and closer to the entrance to the little cave. “Truly, I only wish to help. Or, well, I suppose it would not be a good idea to try to lie right now, so I should probably be honest and admit that I am mostly here because so many people seem to think that this is what I should do, to try to act like I might be some kind of hero. But even though I would call myself a thousand other things before I would even consider using that word to describe myself, if that is who you want me to be, I will be a hero right now. Please, just let me help you, and then I will escort you back to my ship. It is waiting for us just about a hundred metres away and once we have made sure that the soldiers are not following us, we can go back to a place where the king will not be able to find us that easily. Just… let me help you.”</p>
<p>There was a sound from within the cave, something that was unmistakably the sound of one of the two trying to move towards Midna, only for the other to try to keep her back, hushed whispers letting Midna know that they really were there.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that she was perfectly aware of how she and Link had not actually saved them yet, Midna could not keep the smile off her lips. So they had not travelled out there for nothing, the two were really there.</p>
<p>It was that realisation that gave her the courage to continue, her voice becoming a bit louder, a little bit warmer, as she almost felt how she came closer to her goal. Soon, very soon, she might be able to convince them to join her. Then, they would only have to make it back to the ship and everything would be all right.</p>
<p>“I can hear that you are there.” deciding that it would not help her to pretend that it was not the case, Midna reached out towards the grass. “And I am going to move this grass a little, but if you don’t want to come with me, I will not try to force you. All I am asking is for you to consider it. From what Grog told me, you have been through a lot. We understand that. Plenty of us have been through a lot as well. You can find people who will be able to relate if you come with me.” letting out a breath, Midna finally moved the grass aside to allow her to look into the cave.</p>
<p>The first thing she noticed was how she was not looking at two adults like she had expected to find when Grog had first fallen to the floor, talking about how he had fled along with two others, how they had had a farm. No, the girl sitting with her arm around the other looked like she could barely be older than Midna, perhaps even a bit younger, and the little one looked like she was barely seven years old, although Midna supposed that the fact that she was clinging to the other’s arm, trying to hide herself, might also have made her appear even younger.</p>
<p>However, before Midna got the chance to even open her mouth to once more try to explain to them how she was just there because Grog had asked for her help, the older girl let out a little gasp. Even in the darkness of the cave, it was apparent how her eyes widened as she mumbled something to herself.</p>
<p>“Uh,” she said, clearing her throat as she looked up at Midna, “I—”</p>
<p>“Don’t fear.” if Midna had been able to, she would have held up her hands, showing how she had left her gun hanging at her hips, but with how she was already trying her best not to hit her head against the roof of the cave, she decided against it. “I am only here to help you. If you want me to, that is.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” the older girl said, and for a moment, Midna was sure that she would decline the offer for help, insisting on spending her last hours out here, but then she cast a glance towards the younger girl, a look of determination making her look much older in the span of only a few seconds as she once more met Midna’s gaze. “And you promise us that you are not here to try to trick us into going with you so that you can bring us to the king?”</p>
<p>“I promise. Even if I wanted to, I think the king would be more interested in capturing me, so doing that would be really dumb of me.”</p>
<p>Midna could not read the look in the girl’s eyes, but at last, she nodded, gesturing towards the other. “Come, Romani. This nice woman is here to help us, just as I told you she would be.”</p>
<p>“What do you—”</p>
<p>The sound of rumbling brought an end to the question, Midna’s blood becoming ice as her entire body leapt into action immediately. She almost did not realise what was going on around her, only knowing that they had to move now, right now, if they did not want to be caught off-guard, allowing the Hyrulean soldiers to surround them, making it impossible for them to reach the ship.</p>
<p>“Go.” the word was quiet, but as neither Cremia nor Romani reacted, only looking up at her with fear making their eyes shine, Midna reached out to grab Cremia’s arm, all but dragging both her and Romani out of the cave, gesturing towards the forest. “There! Just past the first few rows of trees, in a glade, you will find the ship. Go there—another person from the base will be ready to help you!” she pushed them forward, hoping that Cremia would realise the danger they were in, that she would be able to focus on getting Romani to safety, freeing Midna from having to follow along.</p>
<p>But although Cremia nodded once, clearly able to understand her, she remained where she was, instead searching for Midna’s hand as she began to speak, almost like she wanted for all of them to run at once. Opening her mouth, Cremia took a step towards Midna, walking in the exact opposite direction of where Midna wanted her to go. “But then what about you?”</p>
<p>“I will be fine. I just have to buy you and Romani here enough time for you to climb up the rope ladder.” seeing how Cremia had still not stopped trying to grab her hand, Midna decided that she would have to try again to make up for the way she could not keep her voice from trembling, giving away the fact that she was not as confident as she tried to make it seem. “If I go with you, I will surely die, and so might both you and your sister.” Cremia let out a sound that sounded like it had been caught halfway between a sob and a gasp. Midna should have felt guilty, but right in that moment, she was just relieved to see that she had guessed correctly, both in regards to their relation to each other, but also by determining the only argument that would make Cremia leave. Gesturing wildly in the direction of the ship, Midna tore her arm away from Cremia, letting her hand rest on her gun to signal that it was time to run now. “Go! I have to buy us enough time, if not, they will make it over to the ship before we will all have had time to climb up the ladder! Go now!”</p>
<p>This time, Midna knew better than to wait to confirm that Cremia and Romani had finally understood the severity of the situation, so, without wasting another second, she twirled around and hurried towards what limited amount of cover the meadow had to offer to her.</p>
<p>The bark felt rough beneath her fingers as she pressed her shoulder against the tree, dragging her gun out and aiming towards the other end of the field where a formation of rocks kept her from being able to see where Clock Town should be jutting out against the horizon. As long as she stayed there and made sure that the soldiers would not get the opportunity to follow Milk Road around the meadow, she might be able to buy Cremia and Romani enough time, allowing her to, if nothing else, be able to find comfort in the fact that she might have repaid the forces of the universe for what Rusl had done for her. If this was where she would either die or be captured, she would make sure that she would at least not be brought in without a fight. No. The second the soldiers would begin to come, rushing forward to try to capture Cremia and Romani, the two sisters currently sprinting towards the edge of the forest, Midna risking turning away from the tree for a moment to see how they were almost halfway there already, she would do everything within her power to ensure that they would be able to cover the last few metres as well.</p>
<p>It was in that moment that the troops turned around the corner and began to make their way over the meadow.</p>
<p>Forcing herself to keep her breath even, controlled, finding comfort in the feeling of air passing in and out, Midna aimed at the person closest to her, knowing just what the reaction would be once she pulled the trigger, how it would make them know for a fact that there was someone there, shooting at them. Then she shot, feeling how the gun was thrown backwards as the sound echoed in her ears.</p>
<p>She did not pause to note whether she had hit, the yells coming from across the meadow, carried by the wind, telling her that they had heard her, and perhaps even felt the bullet. Instead, Midna hurried to aim towards the other end of what was beginning to feel too much like a wall of troops to her and pulled the trigger again, the gun jumping in her hand as she tried to force herself to become used to the feeling after having been able to make do without having to use the weapon for so long. It would have been better if she had been able to make it without it now as well, but as Midna forced herself not to drop her only means of defence, knowing all too well that the only reason the soldiers had not already figured out that she was only one person, that they could easily swarm her and catch her simply by virtue of being almost fifty times as many as her, was that they had not expected for anyone to be there, ready to shoot at them. From the sight that met her as she dared to take a look, only watching for a fraction of a second before she leant back behind the tree, her heart beating madly in her chest, they were slowly beginning to figure it out. She might have ten seconds, perhaps twenty if she was lucky, before they would all come running towards her, and once that happened, Midna did not need anyone there to inform her that she would not be able to stand a chance against actual soldiers from the Hyrulean army, not when she was only one person with a gun that could only fire six times before she had to sit down to reload it.</p>
<p>She had already fired two times, and now, she only had three bullets left for the soldiers.</p>
<p>As much as Midna tried to convince herself that she was only happy to have acted, that she had done what was right by deciding to put herself at risk to give Cremia and Romani the chance to escape, in that moment, she only wished that she had accepted Link’s offer and let him go to get Cremia and Romani instead. If she had done that, they might all be back on the ship by now, ready to leave this place. Or, a voice that sounded too much like Zelda’s for Midna to be able to ignore it as easily as she might have ignored herself echoed in her mind, Link would be caught out here instead of her. It was that thought that made the difference. If nothing else, at least the fact that she was currently standing with nothing but a tree between herself and the attackers kept Link from having to be in the same situation.</p>
<p>That was what gave her the courage—though Midna wanted to think of it as stupidity—to form one last, desperate plan. Closing her eyes, Midna hoped that Link would remember what she had told him about how she trusted him to cover her, that Cremia and Romani had reached the ship by now, making it so that Midna would only have to grip the bottom step of the rope ladder before Link would be able to let the ship leave the ground, trusting Midna to be able to climb up on her own. Then, she turned away from the tree and began to sprint towards the forest.</p>
<p>Despite how she was doing her best to run in a straight line, hoping that, by keeping the tree behind her, it might give her a tiny bit of cover, she could hear from the yells that the soldiers had spotted her. The sound of bullets flying through the air, pushed forwards by the explosions echoing behind her only confirmed that. But although Midna was well aware of the fact that, if things did not change soon, she would not stand a chance, she would never be able to reach the ship before one of the bullets would hit its mark simply by pure chance and luck, she did not slow down. At least she could collapse a few metres closer to the ship, give the soldiers a bit more work before they would finally be able to return home to Hyrule Castle to let Ganondorf know that they had caught her. And so, even with her lungs burning, desperation and fear fuelling her, allowing her to run even faster, ignoring everything else, Midna continued to sprint, not trusting herself not to slow down if she let her mind wander to wonder exactly why she was doing this when it was obvious that she was only delaying the inevitably.</p>
<p>There was a scream behind her, and for a split second, Midna found herself wondering if the soldiers had perhaps been stupid enough to try to spread out, if they had let go of the formation that had kept them safe from each other’s muskets. But she had hardly arrived at the conclusion that she could not afford to look back to try to confirm it, when she glanced up, barely able to catch a glimpse of the ship through the leaves of the forest.</p>
<p>A smile that was so misplaced in the situation that Midna knew that she was about to faint tucked at her lips as she saw how Link was standing on the deck of the ship, hidden from view both by the handrail, the colour of his tunic, and the trees in front of him, until Midna was sure that, had she not known what to look for, she would not have seen him. As she looked at him, Link reloaded his gun, the sound of gunfire and the increasingly panicked yells behind her telling Midna that the reason for the decreasing amount of bullets around her had not simply been that the soldiers sent to retrieve two girls from a ranch might not have been prepared to find themselves in an actual battle, but rather that they were busy trying to defend themselves from the new threat that Link was as he sat up there, calm and prepared to kill if that was what it would take to keep them safe.</p>
<p>Somehow, the realisation that she had not been left to fend for herself gave her the last bit of energy she needed, and, her lungs feeling like they were about to give up on her, Midna reached the edge of the forest the next moment. Just a few metres more, then she would have trees around her, giving her even more things to shield her from the bullets.</p>
<p>That was when she felt it. Something warm brushed past her, and the next moment, white-hot pain overtook her arm, the pain shooting up from somewhere just above her elbow, reaching what felt like every last particle in her body, making her brain unable to focus on anything but the feeling of how something wet seeped into the sleeve of her blouse. She should not look down. Midna knew that, and yet, as she found herself struggling to bite back a pained scream, she knew that she was not nearly strong enough to ignore the pull of having to know what had happened. Already, the area where the pain had first hit was feeling numb. Midna was not optimistic enough to believe that that was a good sign.</p>
<p>Stumbling forward, Midna could tell how the feeling of something warm dripping from her sleeve, the way her arm had stopped obeying her, had brought an end to her momentum, making it so that she struggled to even take a step forward. She was so close to the ship, it was right there, not even ten metres away. Midna only had to get around it, and then she would be safe from the bullets. But already, she knew that she would not have the strength to pull herself back up onto the deck, not with her arm feeling like it had disappeared to instead be replaced with pure pain that was making her mind become increasingly cloudy as the time slipped out of her hands.</p>
<p>They would have to leave without her. As much as she did not want to admit it, Midna knew that it was the truth. It was the only way to keep the soldiers from being able to hold onto the ladder, sneaking onto the ship to figure out where the base was. Still, no amounts of trying to convince herself that she was prepared for that to happen, that she had accepted it, would ever have been enough to fool Midna into not being aware of the fact that, despite how she had truly believed that she had known the risks, right then, she only wished that she could change what had happened, make it so that she had not insisted on having Cremia and Romani run ahead.</p>
<p>She took another unsure step forwards, but her boot must have been caught on a root sticking out of the ground, for the next thing Midna knew, the world tipped around her, and she continued her path forward, hitting the ground with what to her felt like a crash as loud as when the ship had once not been able to avoid scratching against the tip of Eldin Mountain.</p>
<p>“Midna!”</p>
<p>Link’s yell came from somewhere far away. Midna was not sure if she had really heard it, or if she had perhaps just made it up, her brain tricking her into hearing what she wanted to hear, trying to give her a sense of calmness, trying to trick her into believing that there might still be hope. She hoped not. She was going to either die or be captured here, and as such, she would do her best not to give the king the satisfaction of knowing that she had been scared.</p>
<p>Maybe that was what drove her to, against her better judgement, turn her head to the side to try to catch a glance of the damage the bullet had inflicted. Instantly, bile rose in her throat, filling her mouth with the bitter taste of defeat, as she looked at the mess that was her right arm.</p>
<p>The sleeve was torn open, revealing how the bullet had just barely hit her arm. Keeping back a sob, Midna could not help but wonder if they had planned for it to end like that, if perhaps the soldiers had had orders not to harm her so much that they would not be able to hide it later. It felt a little too lucky if that had not been the case, the way the bullet had missed the bone by centimetres, instead drawing a short stripe where blood was already dropping to the ground from the wound. If they had just hit her, then she would not be here, trying to come to terms with the fact that they might very well have received orders to bring her in alive, something that was even worse than simply having to die. Alive meant that she could be used as a puppet, that she might give up the location of the base in the end, that Ganondorf might be able to claim that he had singlehandedly saved the lost princess who had, in return, validated his claim to the throne of the Twilight Realm.</p>
<p>Footsteps were coming closer to her, and Midna hid her face in the moss beneath her. If nothing else, she would make sure that they would not get the victory of seeing that she was close to tears. As she felt the ground shake beneath her, she tried to think of anything that might be able to save her now. Her gun. Where was her gun?</p>
<p>Trying to remember what had happened when she had fallen, Midna recalled the feeling of the cold metal slipping out of her hand, how it had flown through the air. It had to be close by, just a few metres to her right. If she could reach it, she would still have three bullets left to try to hit the soldier.</p>
<p>But Midna would not have needed the voice in her head to tell her that it was hopeless. She was not able to look up, much less able to reach out to grab the gun with her numb arm, not when the soldier was only metres away from her.</p>
<p>“Midna,” someone said from above her, and it took a few seconds of wondering if Ganondorf had really told all of his soldiers her name, if he had explained to them exactly who she was, before Midna realised that she was listening to Link call out for her, that she was not making it all up, as the sound of moss having to give way to a pair of heavy boots reached her, letting her know that Link had knelt down next to her.</p>
<p>She tried to respond. Midna really did, but right then, she could not imagine forcing the words out of her throat, much less actually finding the strength to lift her head to look at him, instead remaining where she was and hoping that Link would not disappear in a moment to reveal that she had just made it all up.</p>
<p>It was selfish. She knew that. After all, by now, Link should have left a long time ago. He should have realised that she was lost and turned around to ensure that the soldiers would not be able to capture him as well. And yet, as she heard Link try to hide a gasp when he reached out to attempt to grab her arm, Midna could not bring herself to actually wanting him gone.</p>
<p>Seemingly realising that she would not be able to get back up on her own, Link reached out to touch her good shoulder, rolling her over on the ground until she looked up at the grey, brown and blue vista that was the trees against the sky.</p>
<p>“Midna, I am going to lift you up now. Just try to relax, everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>It sounded so much like what she had tried to convince Zelda would be the case that Midna could not even find the energy to ask Link what he meant, how he was planning to make it all become all right when the soldiers should have reached them a long time ago.</p>
<p>As cautious as Link tried to be, it was not enough to keep him from brushing against her right arm as he lifted her up. Biting down into her tongue, Midna tried her best not to show how all thoughts about what he was doing, why he was not back up on the ship, behind the rudder, had to give way to instead allow the pain to fill everything, painting the world red.</p>
<p>“It will be all right,” Link repeated, and as the trees began to move around her, Midna realised that they were moving, the ship soon coming into view, letting her know that, somehow, even though the soldiers should have been able to aim at them a thousand times in the time it had taken for Link to get to her, they might be able to make it.</p>
<p>“Link,” she forced herself to say, doing her best to ignore the way her voice was barely more than a whisper as she tried her best to tell him that he should leave her behind and run back to the ship himself to ensure that the soldier would not catch them both.</p>
<p>Midna had not even finished trying to force out the word before she felt how the world slipped away from her, the red becoming black as the pain turned into the blissful feeling of knowing that she was about to pass out. Not even Link’s panicked whisper was enough to keep her in the moment. It did not matter. Even if she had stayed awake, she would still not have been able to climb up the rope ladder; she would still have to be left behind. This way, at least there was a tiny chance that she might be able to die on her own before the soldiers would come back.</p>
<p>She wanted to say that she smiled, but even then, Midna was not naïve enough to think that the last, half-finished thought that went through her mind, was not her desperately wishing that she had acted differently, that she had done anything that would have been enough to change the fact that she knew that she would not be saved in the end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we are with a bit more about the possibility of a revolution and people who know about Midna's existence slowly beginning to appear around Midna.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pain. The warm feeling of the little pangs letting her know that she had not merely imagined everything that had happened.</p>
<p>That was the first thing Midna noticed when she woke up again, for a moment refusing to open her eyes, unwilling to give her captors the joy of knowing that she was still alive. If she could just get to her gun, then she would be able to remove the smile on their faces, but she was not able to make herself believe that they would not have predicted how that would be her first thought upon waking up, that they might actually be stupid enough to not have made certain that she would never be able to get her hands on anything that she might be able to use as a weapon.</p>
<p>So instead, Midna tried to force herself to relax, to not give in to the temptation of panicking and letting her rising heartrate tell the king that she was still alive.</p>
<p>She was lying on a soft surface, a mattress, but, as she tried to find more signs of just where in the castle she was, if she had been taken directly to the dungeons or if Ganondorf might have been desperate enough to keep her alive to have her taken to some kind of hospital wing, wanting to ensure that she would not be able to find any way of escaping him, that she might not be able to create a situation where the wound could become infected, Midna noted that the mattress was much softer than what she would have expected for them to give her.</p>
<p>Next to her, someone was breathing softly, almost like they were trying their best not to wake her up. Midna knew that it was a soldier, that or some kind of nurse employed by Ganondorf, specifically chosen to tend to her because they would remain loyal to him no matter what, and yet, she was not able to not feel some kind of connection to the person, already knowing that she would not be able to fight them, not with how they seemed to at least try to be careful as they reached out to pull up her sleeve, touching her arm.</p>
<p>Midna had prepared herself for the pain, tried to make sure that she would not give away the fact that she was awake by gasping, but as they moved a piece of cloth around, the fabric brushing past the point where the bullet had just barely missed its mark, she was surprised to feel how there was only a trace of the pain she had expected left, only a sense of mild discomfort.</p>
<p>In the end, that was why she could not keep her eyes closed anymore, the fact that she had expected for the exact opposite to happen, for her to have to force herself not to let out a pained yell. Or at least that was the first thought that came to her. Midna did honestly not know the reason, but the next second, as she opened her eyes, she was unable to ponder the real answer anymore, instead having to blink a couple of times to understand what she was seeing.</p>
<p>She was not in a cell. Nor was she lying in a room that looked like it could have fit in with the splendour of Hyrule Castle. No, as Midna opened her eyes, she found herself staring up at the solid rock that was the roof of the infirmary. Somehow, she must have made it home.</p>
<p>Barely even a second after she had realised that she might actually have survived, that she might not have been captured after all, Midna looked to the right and found herself unable to do anything other than staring at the person sitting there.</p>
<p>Leaning in over her, wrapping a bandage around her arm, a look of pure focus on her face, Zelda looked almost like she had done this for her entire life, her brows pulled downwards, a little crease appearing between them as she mumbled something to herself before looking back up at her.</p>
<p>By the time Midna realised that she had forgot everything about her plan of trying to hide the fact that she was still alive, it was already too late. Zelda’s eyes had become wide, a thousand different emotions passing over her face in the span of a single second, relief and joy seeming to win in the end, as she opened her mouth, almost like she wanted to say something, only to be unable to do anything other than smile at her.</p>
<p>“Midna,” Zelda finally forced out, glancing between Midna’s face and her arm where the bandage was still only lying as a piece of cloth loosely wrapped around her arm, nothing keeping it from possibly falling to the floor if Midna were to move even a little, “You—you—”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” her voice sounded hoarse, almost as tired and exhausted as Midna felt, but she still continued. How would she ever have been able to do anything other than that when Zelda was looking down at her like she might honestly be ecstatic to see that she had survived? “I made it.” then, doubting for a second if she was perhaps only making everything even worse, Midna sent her a tiny smirk, already sensing how even that little grimace was almost enough to make her want to fall back against the flat pillow under her head and sleep for ages. “Just as I said I would.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna was not sure if Zelda was going to cry or hit her while telling her that it was not funny, that she did not want to listen to Midna make fun of the fact that she had almost died, that she should have died, but then, she shook her head, clearly unable to believe what she was hearing.</p>
<p>“You are unbelievable,” Zelda said, failing to sound annoyed, the way the tears were beginning to stream down her cheeks already making sure that no one would have believed her if she claimed to actually be offended that Midna would try to joke about how close she had come to dying, “we were so worried about you when Link got back here.”</p>
<p>Instantly, the laughter died in her chest as the memory of how she had seen Link’s face, looking eerily pale against the sky above him when he had lifted her up, whispering something about her having to hold on for just a little bit longer.</p>
<p>Trying to turn her head to the side, Midna hoped that he would be there, making it so that she would not have to find him to let him know that she was all right.</p>
<p>Zelda must have been able to guess what she was trying to do, for she shook her head before reaching out to press a hand against Midna’s shoulder, easily able to push her back down. “He is not here. Not because he did not try, though. But after he had broken down for the second time, rambling about how he should have been quicker to come to your aid, Ilia decided that his presence here would not help any of us. Before you ask—yes, he is perfectly fine. Terrified that you would not make it and shaken, yes, but unharmed. As are Cremia and Romani.”</p>
<p>She had almost forgot about the two sisters. Trying her best to hide the fact that her cheeks had to have become bright red as the realisation that she was so easily able to forget about the very reason she was there in the first place, Midna tried her best to act like she had just been about to ask Zelda where they were, clearing her throat to buy herself a little more time. “Do you—” her voice failed her, but this time, Midna had almost expected for that to happen and was able to quickly continue, “do you know what happened?”</p>
<p>From the look Zelda sent her, the way she raised a brow, it was apparent that she was trying to determine whether Midna really did not remember or is she was merely trying to make her explain something she already knew. Seemingly deciding that the former was true, Zelda let out a little sigh. “We only know what Link told us, so please excuse me if I have got anything wrong.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>The little smile that Zelda sent her was enough for Midna to know that she had not expected for her to respond, but as it made the world seem a little bit better, made her feel less like she had just tried to convince herself that she might have to try to find a way to escape from Hyrule Castle, Midna did not care. All that mattered was that Zelda was smiling because of her.</p>
<p>“All right. Well, from what Link told us, you insisted on going to convince Cremia and Romani to come back with you on your own, making him stay back on the ship.” Zelda paused, but even then, the question was obvious from the way she was looking at her.</p>
<p>Midna tried to nod, only for the attempt at moving giving her a rude reminder that, even if she should have felt worse than this, it was still not entirely pleasant to try to move, making her lie still again. “I did,” she mumbled, trying not to try to think about how the look in Zelda’s eyes changed, becoming warmer, as she continued. She had not done it to know that Zelda would be proud of her, and so, Midna did not stop to note that Zelda was smiling at her like she might have done something truly heroic, like she might have done the right thing for the first time in her life, instead of hiding herself, acting like the coward she had been since the very first time she had left Hateno Village, “you see, I knew that Link would be able to help them over the side of the ship, so it just made more sense for him to remain aboard the ship, even if he would also undoubtedly have been better than me at convincing them to come back home with us.”</p>
<p>“Funny that you should say that.” Zelda’s eyes sparkled as she leant closer towards her, the movement almost making Midna’s heart skip a beat. “That was not exactly the impression we got from them.”</p>
<p>“No?” Midna did not even have to pretend to be surprised; her body took care of that all on its own. “Well, I am sure that they might also need a bit more time to realise that they would rather have followed Link.”</p>
<p>She could tell how the joy in Zelda’s eyes dimmed a bit as she brushed aside her attempts at assuring her that she had been successful. It should not have hurt as much as it did, not when Midna had little reason to care about what Zelda might think about her, but for a reason she could not explain, Midna found that it did indeed matter to her, that she wanted to make sure that Zelda would be given another reason to smile.</p>
<p>Knowing exactly how she was trying to look for something she could use to distract both herself and Zelda from her mistake, Midna glanced towards the door, trying to figure out if she could hear anyone in the corridor outside before she looked back up at Zelda. “Actually, now that I mention it—do you know how long I have been unconscious for?”</p>
<p>Instantly, Midna knew that she might not want to know the answer, the way Zelda bit her lip, averting her gaze, instantly betraying her attempt at keeping it a secret, until even Zelda was not optimistic enough to think that she could find a way to not have to answer the question. With a loud sigh, Zelda reached out to take her hand, before she, looking at a point just above Midna’s eyes, whispered the answer. “Link landed the ship a few hours before dinner, and by then, he said that you had been unconscious for the entirety of the journey home, so I suppose that you have been unconscious for about… ten hours or so.”</p>
<p>Midna tried to count back, her brain protesting against the strain she put it under. “So right now, it is about ten in the evening?” she looked up at Zelda. “Is that right?”</p>
<p>“It is.”</p>
<p>Oh. Midna knew that she should have tried to comfort Zelda who looked like she was seconds away from bursting into tears, but in that moment, all she could feel was the overwhelming sense of relief that came from knowing that she had not lost days and weeks. It was only a few hours. She had tried worse things than that before.</p>
<p>However, it soon became apparent that Zelda would not have agreed with her assessment of the severity of the situation, for she gripped her hand, shaking her head as she began to talk, her voice trembling, giving away how the shiny look in her eyes was not just something Midna was imagining. “I—Midna, I am so sorry about everything. I should have done more—I should have insisted on going with you.”</p>
<p>“What?” the sheer surprise of that being the conclusion Zelda had arrived at was enough to push away anything else, leaving Midna unable to do anything other than letting out a short laugh, halfway convinced that Zelda was trying to cheer her up, saying the absolute last thing Midna would have wanted to try to make her feel better.</p>
<p>However, the next moment, Midna had no choice but to realise how that had not been the case after all, as Zelda looked down at the floor, her cheeks becoming redder and redder with every second.</p>
<p>With a sinking feeling in her chest, Midna realised that it had not been an attempt at making her laugh, Zelda had really meant it. Still, as she thought about the kind of panic that had filled her when she had run from the soldiers, tried to picture what it would have been like to know that Zelda was there with her, that she had brought her into such a dangerous situation, Midna knew that the only thing that would have made it even more horrible than it had already been would have been knowing that Zelda might also be brought home to the castle she had been so eager to leave that she had sneaked her way onto a pirate ship.</p>
<p>As Zelda began to move away from her, the tears in her eyes making sure that Midna knew exactly how much she had messed up, the only thing Midna could do was to reach out for her hand, hoping that she would not have to beg Zelda to stay, to listen to her. But even then, Midna knew that if that was what it would take for her to be given a chance to explain, she would do it without hesitating for even a second. “Wait, Zelda, you—I misunderstood. I am sorry.”</p>
<p>And, finally, Zelda did stop. Sitting back down in the chair, she frowned slightly, almost like she wanted to make sure that Midna knew that such a vague excuse without an explanation would not be enough.</p>
<p>Struggling to find the words, Midna gestured towards her, hoping that Zelda would be able to understand what she was trying to say as she stuttered her way through the first couple of words. “You—I—look, as I am sure you are already aware of,” Midna said, gesturing towards the bandage, “we were attacked. I had known that there was a risk of that happening, I had thought that I would be prepared for it, but—” shaking her head, Midna forced herself not to cry. It would be bad enough if one of them began to cry; she had to stay calm and collected, if nothing else, then to make sure that she would not waste the opportunity to explain, “it was nothing like what I would ever have imagined it to be. But do you know what the only thing that was able to give me a little bit of comfort as I truly thought that I was going to die was?” when Zelda remained silent, not making any motion to answer the question, but also not trying to leave either, Midna continued. “It was the fact that Cremia and Romani might at least be able to make it back to the base. But if you had been there with me, I would not even have been able to think about that. All that would have mattered to me then would have been the fact that I had promised you that you would not have to go back to Hyrule Castle and that I was about to find myself in a situation where I would not be able to keep that promise anymore. Please, Zelda, that was all I meant with the laugh.”</p>
<p>And, at last, Zelda’s expression became soft again, the crease between her brows growing a bit less noticeable. But it still did not disappear, and as Zelda leant back in the chair, Midna already knew that the conversation was not over yet.</p>
<p>“You told me,” Zelda said, glancing over at Midna, “you said that everything would be fine.”</p>
<p>“Because that was what I believed.” it was only halfway a lie, Midna decided. She might not have been as optimistic as Zelda, but even then, she had not expected for there to be quite that many soldiers. “I thought that it would just be a matter of hurrying to find the two before the soldiers, I did not expect for them to try to attack me. But, from what I can see, everything might be all right after all.” she motioned towards the bandage, hoping that it would be enough to try to bring the conversation back to Zelda. As she saw how the muscles moved around Zelda’s mouth, Midna knew that it was working, and so, she continued. “I had no idea that you were able to do all of this.”</p>
<p>“I had hoped I would never have to use it.” Zelda shrugged. “But I suppose that all those years of having to listen to some old man talking about plants and why we had to make sure that we had a steady supply of all of them to make sure that we would be able to produce medicine were finally able to help me.”</p>
<p>“Do you mean that…?”</p>
<p>Finally, Midna could see the joy begin to return to Zelda’s smile, her face almost seeming a bit brighter as she bowed her head. “Yes. It really was not that complicated—it was just a matter of knowing which plants had been used in which of the different kinds of medicine you had brought home and then figuring out how to combine them to obtain the desired effects. As I said, it wasn’t that complicated.”</p>
<p>“Not for you perhaps, but I still consider it a miracle that you were here to help me.”</p>
<p>Brushing a strand of hair back in place behind her ears, Zelda hid a smile behind her hand. “It was nothing really. I am sure that Uli would have been able to do the same.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps, but I am still happy that it was you.”</p>
<p>Midna looked up at Zelda. How had she been able to live for this long without ever noticing the little hint of red that was hidden within the brown colour of her hair? Even with the flickering light, it could still not have been more obvious to Midna that as she sat there, having just been about to bandage her arm, anyone who might enter the room would be bound to cast one look at Zelda and mistake her for one of the goddesses. Nayru, perhaps. If Midna remembered correctly, Ilia had mentioned something about how she would plead with the goddess of wisdom to make sure that they would return home safely and without any wounds.</p>
<p>It was not until Zelda’s expression changed, becoming unsure, that Midna realised she was starring.</p>
<p>Turning away from Zelda, hoping that she had not made her thoughts obvious, Midna cleared her throat, forcing her voice to not shake, to just be normal as she changed the subject. “Zelda, do you know where Uli is?”</p>
<p>With a sound that told Midna that she was just as eager to change the topic of the conversation as she was, Zelda nodded. “Yes. When you first got back, Cremia and Romani were quite shaken, especially Romani—not that it was not understandable, I mean, those poor things, to have just had to flee from the soldiers only to watch as Link brought you back up onto the ship.” Zelda shook her head, and in that moment, she was able to make it sound almost like she had been living in the base with them for her entire life. “It took ages before Uli was even able to get Romani to talk, and even then, she was still hiding behind Cremia. But, no matter what, Uli decided that it would be best if she took them over to decide which of the empty rooms they would like to live in—to get them away from the crowd of people who had gathered to look at what had happened, you know?”</p>
<p>Midna nodded. It sounded like the perfectly logical thing to do, so of course Uli would have done that. “Yes, I suppose that would make sense. But they are all right—or, well, as all right as we can expect them to be after everything they have been through, correct?.”</p>
<p>“Actually,” Zelda said, sending her a smile that Midna did not know what to make of, “you can ask them about that yourself—or at least you can ask Cremia.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“She asked if she could talk with you the moment she realised that she was safe. You will not believe how many times Uli had to repeat to her that she would not be able to do anything to help you right now and that her sister would need her before Cremia finally agreed to leave your bedside. She kept talking about how she wanted to thank you for saving her and her sister.”</p>
<p>She had been there. Midna would not say that she could not understand why—if their situations had been reversed, if someone had found her when she had been lost and alone, she would surely have done the same—but that did not remove the feeling of it all being unreal, that Zelda had to have misunderstood something, for why would Cremia want to come to talk with her, much less be concerned about whether or not she would make it when Midna had been the reason for how they had almost been caught?</p>
<p>But as she looked up at Zelda, Midna could already tell that voicing her doubts about it would only lead to the sadness returning to Zelda’s eyes. And, as much as she would have liked to figure out what had happened while she had been asleep, what they had told Cremia to convince her that there was any need for her to bother to visit Midna, she knew that the last thing she wanted to do right then was to make Zelda upset again. So, swallowing back the questions about what had happened for Cremia to misunderstand what had happened like that, Midna made sure to send Zelda a carefully rehearsed look of surprise. “Oh,” she said, hoping that her voice was not too high, a little too surprised for it to be convincing, “why?”</p>
<p>Zelda only laughed, reaching out to push against her shoulder, barely stopping herself in time to send a guilty look towards the bandaged wound. “Because you kept the soldiers at bay and gave them enough time to reach the ship, of course.”</p>
<p>Oh. Although her mind was still clouded, Midna could remember having yelled to Cremia that she had to run, that she would stay to buy them the time they would need. But that had just been a way for her to save herself; it had nothing to do with whether she cared about Cremia and Romani.</p>
<p>When Midna did not respond, Zelda must have assumed that she was waiting for her to continue, for she gave her hand a little squeeze. “She is waiting right outside the infirmary. Do you want me to tell her that she can go in now?”</p>
<p>That was the last thing Midna wanted to do, to allow Cremia to come in when she was barely awake enough to figure out just what she might have told her during their escape, much less able to figure out how she could keep Cremia from thinking that Midna had decided that she would stay at the tree because she was ready to sacrifice herself for the two.</p>
<p>Clinging to Zelda’s hand like she alone would be able to save her, Midna did not even bother to hide the desperation in her voice as she looked up at her. “Zelda, will you stay here? Will you stay with me, I mean? I—I don’t want to be alone, not right now, at least.”</p>
<p>The look Zelda sent her told Midna all she needed to know, how Zelda was trying to figure out just why Midna could not face Cremia alone. Trying her best to put on a smile, not wanting Zelda to think that she was weak, and at once intensely aware of how that was exactly what she was with how she could not even imagine having to face another person without Zelda there next to her, Midna met her gaze.</p>
<p>At last, Zelda sighed. “I will stay if that is what you want me to.” Midna opened her mouth to answer, but Zelda only held up her hand, signalling for her to wait for a moment. “However, I just want to make certain that you know that you did something incredibly brave when you decided to stay behind.”</p>
<p>At that, Midna kept her mouth shut. It would have been better, more honest to tell Zelda that she had not made the decision to stay behind because she felt responsible for the fate of two girls she had never even met before that moment, that, if anything, she had picked the cowardly option by choosing to put herself in a situation where she would either succeed or at least not have to know that she had been the cause for even more people being caught, but she could not make the words leave her mouth, not when Zelda looked down at her, a fond look in her eyes, almost like she might actually believe the lie she had convinced herself was the truth in an attempt at making Midna sound like a better person than she was. Later, she knew that she would have to tell her, but for now, Midna wanted to enjoy the fact that Zelda might actually think that she was brave. For a moment Midna could almost justify keeping the truth to herself and continuing to let Zelda believe that the reason she protested against being called brave was that she was not ready to admit that that was what she had been.</p>
<p>“If you say so.” Midna had meant for it to sound cold, so that she would at least be able to point back to that when Zelda would inevitably ask her why she had not told her the truth earlier, but the words echoed between them, sounding much warmer and friendlier than what she had intended for them to do. Although she already knew that she would not be able to save the situation, to try again, Midna still cleared her throat and tried to add anything onto the sentence, anything at all that would make the horrible fluttering feeling in her stomach disappear. “Will you go get Cremia?”</p>
<p>Apparently, that was not what she should have said, or at least Zelda looked away from her, still not able to hide the disappointment in her eyes. Midna knew that it should not have made her feel this way to know that she had just disappointed Zelda again—if Zelda still honestly believed that Midna was in any way good at interacting with the people around her, then it was about time that Midna messed up so badly that Zelda would no longer be able to justify it to herself—but even that knowledge did nothing to change the fact that she had to use all her mental strength not to reach out for Zelda as she let go of her hand to move away from the bed, not to apologise to her.</p>
<p>“Of course,” Zelda said, “just wait for a moment. I think it would be best if I also tell her about… well, your condition,” she gestured towards Midna, her gaze landing on the bandage, “I am not sure what Uli told her, but I suppose you would not want for her to be surprised the moment she steps into the room and sees you, right?”</p>
<p>Midna could not see how she could keep Cremia from receiving an unpleasant surprise, not with how she doubted she would be able to fool Cremia into thinking she was some kind of heroic rebel the way she might have convinced Zelda, but she still nodded. “Right. That would be best.”</p>
<p>Zelda left without another word, and even as Midna turned her head to the side, trying her best to catch a glimpse of the corridor outside the infirmary, both her position and the way the door swung inwards kept her from being able to catch even a glimpse of Cremia. Closing her eyes, Midna tried her best to recall what the girls had looked like in the cave. Truth to be told, she could barely remember anything from before the moment she had seen the soldiers turn around the corner in the distance, but she still tried, attempted to picture the girls in her head. They had been scared, she knew that, even if she was not quite sure if she knew that because she remembered or simply because everyone would have been scared if they had been hiding in a tiny cave underneath a tree, unable to do anything other than hoping that the guards would not find them.</p>
<p>The sound of hushed mumbling reached her from outside the room, but even as Midna tried her best to focus on nothing other than the sound of Zelda whispering something, an unknown voice responding from time to time, giving up on trying to figure out just whom she could expect to see in a moment, she could not make out the individual words. Perhaps it was a sign that she should stop trying, that she should simply be content to wait for them to come back and provide her with answers to her questions, but the option of letting her head fall back down onto the pillow to look directly up at the ceiling felt a little too much like giving up for Midna to be entirely comfortable with it. Besides, from what Zelda had told her, Midna knew that Cremia expected to see her saviour, some selfless person who had been able to stand between her and her sister and the soldiers, risking her life to protect them. Even if Midna knew that she would not be able to pretend to be that for long, she could at least try not to let their first meeting after having brought them back to the base become a disappointment.</p>
<p>As the door squeaked on its hinges, loudly protesting against the fact that they had always prioritised the steam engines over the doors whenever they had been lucky enough to take any amount of oil, and Zelda entered the room once more, a girl with long, red hair whom Midna assumed was Cremia following along, Midna could have sworn that she felt how her heart skipped a beat, pure fear rushing through her. She did not know what to say. What if Cremia expected for her to tell her how they would be going back to fight for their ranch? Could that be why she had been so eager to talk with her? Midna doubted it, trying to remind herself of the fact that Cremia had been the person to make the decision to give up the farm in the first place, hoping that Cremia knew that she could hardly expect for anyone to want to fight for it now, but it did not keep her from both fearing and looking forwards to the moment when Cremia would finally tell her why she was there.</p>
<p>As Zelda sat down in her chair next to Midna’s bed, Cremia pulling a chair over from one of the other beds, placing it next to Zelda’s, Midna tried her best to force a smile onto her face. If nothing else, she could at least pretend that she was not nervous.</p>
<p>“So,” she said, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking, “Zelda told me that you wanted to talk with me.” she lifted a brow, hoping that Cremia would be able to understand.</p>
<p>Luckily, it seemed that Cremia did indeed understand, for, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders, she bowed her head, making trying to get control over her hair a waste of time as it fell forwards immediately, creating a curtain in front of her face as she mumbled something that was barely audible. As Cremia sat up straight again, Midna was shocked to see the tears lining her eyes, how her lower lip trembled as she shook her head.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to thank you. You—had you not shown up when you did, I honestly don’t know what we would have done, but then you appeared, telling us that there was a place where we could be safe. For that, I cannot thank you enough.”</p>
<p>“It was nothing.” she had to convince her right now that trying to make her out to be some kind of hero would only lead to tears, and so, Midna forced herself to ignore the look Zelda sent her. It wasn’t about her right now. For now, it was about Cremia.</p>
<p>But it seemed that Cremia had already spent too much time in the company of Uli, or maybe it was really Zelda she had spent too much time talking to, for she simply let out a sound that sounded almost like a muffled laugh, shooting Midna a disbelieving look. “No, it really wasn’t. I understand that you would not try to brag about it, but it really wasn’t nothing. If you had not found us, stayed to convince us to come with you, and then bought us enough time to make it back to the ship.... I doubt that we would have made it. But I also have to apologise to you.” although Midna did not say anything, having already learnt her lesson about how it would probably be better to let Cremia say everything she wanted to tell her and then try to explain to her how she had misunderstood everything afterwards, it must have been obvious what she wanted to say from the expression on her face, for Cremia forced back a sob as she reached out, almost taking her hand, but stopping herself at the last moment. “If we had come with you the first time you told us about how you were there to help, if we had been just a little bit faster, then you would not have had to stay behind. Then you would not have had to defend us, and you would not have been shot.”</p>
<p>It was then that Midna realised what all the stolen glances had been about, why Cremia had reached out towards her, only to stop herself. The bandage. Of course. As Midna forced herself to turn her head a little, just enough to look down at her arm and tried to bite back a cry as pain shot up through her neck, she could see how a bit of blood had already seeped into the fabric, staining it red. What could she say to convince Cremia that she did not have to treat her like a hero, did not have to look at her like she was something fragile that Cremia might have broken?</p>
<p>She was saved from having to actually figure out an answer to that question by Zelda.</p>
<p>Casting a glance at Midna that, although brief, was still enough for Midna to see how Zelda looked like she was ecstatic to find someone whom she might still be able to convince that she had been right about Midna from the very beginning, Zelda turned towards Cremia. “Cremia, may I ask about what happened for you to decide to flee your home?” while Midna might not be able to look at Zelda, she could still easily imagine the way Zelda’s expression would reflect the way she froze for a moment, clearly realising that she might just have overstepped her boundaries as she attempted to smooth things out. “I mean, only if you want to. I know that the question might be a bit… too much, but I just can’t help but wonder… what happened to force you to leave the ranch?”</p>
<p>As Zelda spoke, Midna could almost hear the princess in her words, the way Zelda tried her best to understand what was going on. Except for the fact that that was not the princess Midna had first met aboard the royal ship. No, the more Midna tried to figure out what to think about the fact that Zelda had leant over to come closer to Cremia, the more obvious it was that this was only Zelda. There was nothing left of the princess of Hyrule.</p>
<p>However, she had barely made that realisation, when another thought struck her, Midna struggling to hide the way it instantly made her look back and forth between Cremia and Zelda, her heart beating so quickly in her chest that she was certain they must be able to hear it. Did Cremia know? Had anyone told her about Zelda, how she was not just merely some other girl Midna had saved? Right then, Midna was not even sure what answer she hoped for, if she honestly believed that she might make it so that they would never have to find out, if she believed she could keep up the pretence. Deep down, she was aware of the fact that if Cremia and Romani were to stay, they would have to know, they could not continue to keep it secret, not with everyone around the two of them knowing, but still, as Midna looked over at Cremia and saw the way she moved her hands as she talked about some ranch she had inherited from her parents, Zelda nodding at all the right moments, cocking her head and letting out a little sigh as Cremia reached the point where she told about how the king had sent his soldiers to seize the ranch when they had been unable to pay their taxes after he had raised them for the fourth year in a row, she knew that she did not want to be the one to tell her.</p>
<p>“At first, I didn’t think that they would actually do it.” Cremia shook her head, staring directly down at where she was wringing her hands in her lap. “I had tried to explain that the winter had been harsher than we had expected for it to be, that if they would just give us until the harvest, then we would have more than enough to pay them. I thought that they had accepted that. But then, one day as I came in from milking the cows, Romani told me that they had been there, that they had tried to take the cows, telling her that it would be payment for how much time they had already given me.”</p>
<p>“And then what happened?” Zelda moved, reaching out to place her hand on Cremia’s shoulder. It should not have mattered at all to Midna, not when she was listening to Cremia explain what had led up to her and her sister having to flee their home, and yet, she struggled to make herself focus as Cremia continued.</p>
<p>“I thought that would be the end of it, that, since they had not actually come into the barn, they had decided to leave us be. But then, only a little week after that, Anju, my friend from town, told me that she had overheard the mayor talking about how he had received an order from the king to bring in Romani. Anju is engaged to his soon, you see,” Cremia added, “Kafei Dotour. I don’t know if it is true or if the soldiers were just lying to create even more trouble for us, but they claimed that Romani had tried to shoot them with her bow and arrow. I—I would like to say that I know that it cannot be true, but, to tell the truth, it could easily be nothing but the truth. Romani—it would not be the first time she thought that the task of protecting the cows could ever be her problem. But that was the moment where I knew that I would not be able to stay. If they had just taken the ranch, then that would be one thing, but if they would have tried to take my sister—I could not risk that.”</p>
<p>“But how did you know where to go?” Zelda’s voice was low, and Midna only realised that the reason for that was the same as the reason for why she looked like she was only a few seconds away from tears as she turned around to, for a moment, look at her.</p>
<p>“Grog.” Cremia said the name like it would be able to explain everything, and maybe it would have if they knew Grog as anyone but the man Link had brought back to the base. Seemingly realising that none of them had a chance of knowing what she was talking about, Cremia continued, taking a deep breath, clearly trying her best to not begin to cry right then and there. “I—I knew that I would have to tell him about what had happened, with how the soldiers would probably also seize his little cucco shack, not caring that it was not really part of the ranch, or at least not something that belonged to us. But rather than being angry or disappointed or anything like that, he simply told me that we would have to make our way across the mountains, that he had heard rumours about how other people had gone that way to escape from the king.”</p>
<p>It felt like her stomach had disappeared, a thousand kilos of stone taking its place. There were other people who had tried to find them. In that moment, even the horror of listening to Cremia, of having to recognise the fact that, even if it seemed that most people regarded them as some kind of lie about safety, a place that might not actually exist, it still meant that some people out there had to know about them, seemed almost insignificant in comparison to the fact that it would appear that there were plenty of other people who had tried to make it through the forest, walking with nothing other than the hope of being able to find some kind of safe haven to give them strength.</p>
<p>Already, Midna knew that she would not have to look over at Zelda to know that they were both thinking about the same thing, how Grog was the first person they had ever found, the only one who had made it close enough to the mountain and had been lucky enough for Link to have been outside, looking for any animal that might have been caught in one of their traps. How many other people had either never made it across the mountains, instead being caught by the king’s soldiers or indeed made it into the deep forest that surrounded the mountain, only to find that it was almost impossible to fight against the elements and the wild animals?</p>
<p>“Cremia…” Midna began, feeling that she had to say something, that she had to acknowledge the fact that, to Cremia, it would undoubtedly look like they were responsible for every person who had ever died during the attempt at finding them, “I—I am sorry. We should have done more, I know, but—”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?” Cremia smiled at her, and although Midna wanted the smile to be fake so badly that it almost hurt, giving her the chance to deny it all, to just think that Cremia was unable to see what was really happening, how they had remained inside the mountain, leaving everyone outside to fend for themselves, she could not see even the tiniest glimpse of insincerity. “Midna, we are just grateful that you did find us. Not even to mention how you offered to let us stay here. If you had not done that, well,” she shrugged, “I wouldn’t know what we would have done.”</p>
<p>Before Midna got the time to even open her mouth, much less to figure out what she wanted to say, Zelda had cut in. “We are glad that it did not have to come to that. I am sure that everyone here is happy that you and your sister are here with us now as well.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Cremia beamed at Zelda, and for a moment, it felt almost like Midna could just as well have left the room with how they almost seemed to forget about her completely, Cremia leaning closer towards Zelda. “We are happy to be here as well.”</p>
<p>Rather than saying anything, Zelda simple smiled.</p>
<p>She should not have cared about it. Whom Zelda decided to smile at while reaching out towards them really was not something Midna had to worry about. That was what she tried to tell herself, but the more she looked over at the two of them, the more she found herself staring up at Cremia, trying to gauge whether or not she knew the truth, the more Midna could feel the words pressing against her will not to say it and risk ruining everything. In the end, one of them had to give in, and, although she hated to admit it, Midna had known that it would be her will right from the very beginning.</p>
<p>“If you are going to stay here, you should probably have someone show you the base,” Midna said, making one last, desperate attempt to push back the feelings that rose in her chest, before she had to admit defeat, “I am sure that Zelda would be ready to help another newcomer.”</p>
<p>The reaction was instantaneous, Zelda freezing, pulling her hand back, away from Cremia, almost like she had been burnt, while Cremia simply sent her a confused look.</p>
<p>“Oh, do you mean that Zelda is like me?” she asked, her voice rising just a little bit on the last word, making Midna already regret how she had not been able to just stay quiet and let the two of them chat about everything and nothing right next to her.</p>
<p>But now, it would not be possible to achieve that, and so, she looked over at Zelda, trying her best to let her see that she was sorry for what she had done, that she already knew that she had overreacted, been petty, and unable to see when she was about to ruin the situation.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda saw it. Midna would not have known, for the next moment, Zelda had turned away from her again, almost like she could not stand looking at her right then. Although Midna knew that it was what she deserved, it did nothing to lessen the feeling of having just been kicked in the stomach as she realised how it might very well have only been the second time during all the months Zelda had stayed with them that she had seen her act that way around her.</p>
<p>“I…” Zelda began, hesitating, searching for words, “in a way, but also… not exactly. I did not come here the same way that you did.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Cremia raised a brow, a look of confusion spreading across her face. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I—actually,” Zelda said, interrupting herself, “could we maybe talk about this outside the infirmary? I am sure that Midna needs to rest, and we should try our best not to disturb her.”</p>
<p>Midna did not miss the sharp tone, the way Zelda turned around to ensure that her bandage was properly fastened without looking at her, but she did not say anything. After all, it was what she deserved after the way she had just acted. However, even as she tried to convince herself that she had no reason to feel sad, that she should just learn from what had happened and try to become a better, less petty person, she would have lied if she had tried to claim that she did not have to hold herself back from yelling out, calling Zelda’s name as the door closed with a soft thud behind them.</p>
<p>But she didn’t. Rather than doing anything, acting in a way she knew very well she had no right to after having just forced Zelda to tell Cremia the truth, Midna simply rolled over, ignoring the pain that came with doing so, so that she could cry to herself, knowing that, if anyone were to enter the room, they would only see her back at first, giving her a moment to hide the fact that, even now, she was still unable to know how to act.</p>
<p>Cremia had just come in to say thankyou to her. And yet, here Midna was, crying, because she had had to blurt out the fact that Zelda was not just some random peasant girl, all because she had watched the two of them clearly beginning to bond over what they perceived to be a shared past.</p>
<p>It really was pathetic. Midna knew that, but it was still not enough to keep her from curling up on the bed, crying until she was finally able to fall asleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have another person who, to Midna, is both threatening their safety and ability to hide while also having an entirely different way of thinking and acting within the world they live in, making Midna fail to see the ways she is unlike Zelda, because of course Midna does not stop to notice that with how her mindset is at the moment :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zelda did not come to her cabin to eat dinner the next day the way they had used to do. Midna wanted to say that she had been prepared for that, had known that she might not be willing to be around her just yet so soon after Midna had told Cremia the truth, but it did not keep her from looking at her food and then over at the empty chair, pushing the plate away a bit. It would taste like ash, Midna knew that. Without Zelda, the cabin felt too large for her, empty and quiet. She was not sure how she had ever been able to stay in there during all the meals for so long. The food tasted of nothing at all, becoming dirt against her tongue each time she tried to convince herself that she was overthinking things, that this would and should be just like every other meal, just without Zelda sitting there next to her, adamant to keep the conversation going no matter how obvious Midna made the fact that she really was not all that interested in listening to Zelda talk about how much she liked being there, how nice everyone was.</p>
<p>Trying one last time to just push through it, to ignore the way her stomach was already hurting even at the prospect of just letting go of the weird feeling and accepting the food, Midna knew that she would not be able to finish the meal, not right now at least, not without Zelda.</p>
<p>She placed the fork and knife on the plate, hearing how the metal clattered, informing her that she had thrown it more than she had placed it. Great, just great. Wonderful, even. Here she was, having now not only blurted out the fact that Zelda had not exactly fled from the same fate as Cremia, she was now also unable to do something as simple as not taking her frustrations out on a plate. Amazing.</p>
<p>At least the hangar was almost empty as Midna sneaked her way outside, not wanting for anyone to see her as she tried to figure out where Zelda might be. The only ones there were a little group of children, and with how Midna could see Colin laugh at something Malo said, Beth soon interrupting them as she sprinted towards them, making them scatter, Midna doubted they would care about why she was there. So, as she hurried over towards the side of the room, Midna did not bother to try to hide from them. Most likely, they would not even care about her, even if they did see her. It was fine.</p>
<p>Quickly going through the most like places where Zelda might be, Midna tried to make herself calm down, making her breath become a bit more even. Instantly, the dining hall seemed like the most likely option, with how everyone else would be sure to go there, but as Midna thought about it, it did not appear all that likely anymore. Although she was not able to say how much of her reluctance to consider it was due to the fact that she did not want to head in that direction everyone else would still be there, chatting with one another as they ate their dinner, Midna knew that she would not find Zelda there. But then where was she supposed to look?</p>
<p>The answer was clear in her mind, but even then, it took her a few minutes of trying her best to keep herself from giving up and walking back to her cabin to make her legs begin to move, taking her over there.</p>
<p>She could hear the voices from the moment she turned around the corner, entering the part of the corridor that led to Cremia and Romani’s rooms. But where she had thought—it sounded wrong to admit that she had hoped, even if Midna could feel how it would have been more honest—that she would hear anger and sadness, Zelda no doubt trying her best to explain just why she had decided to leave her life in the castle behind, the sound of people laughing was enough to make Midna freeze outside the door, having halfway reached out to press down the door handle.</p>
<p>What was she doing? Here she was, the reason that Zelda had left her in the first place, and now she was about to interrupt the two of them, trying her best to move back in, to claim the space in Zelda’s life she had only really begun to miss the moment she had seen how Cremia might have replaced her. More than anything, Midna wished that she had the opportunity to let out a frustrated yell, to pour all the doubts and thoughts into a series of swears, but as it was, she barely dared to breathe, the idea of what might happen if they looked outside to see her standing there for some reason seeming even more mortifying to her in that moment than anything she had ever tried before.</p>
<p>So, intimately aware of just how cowardly she was acting, Midna pressed her ear against the door, trying to find the spot where the wood would be thinnest, providing her with the best opportunity to overhear their conversation.</p>
<p>“So you wanted to see what was really happening in your kingdom?” Cremia, Midna could tell both from the way her voice seemed to be almost meant to irritate her as much as possible, low and entirely too sweet, the exact opposite of how she had acted during the first weeks of knowing Zelda.</p>
<p>Almost like they had known whom she had been thinking about, Zelda spoke up, a little laugh introducing her words. “Yeah. I… I know that it is not an excuse, but life in Hyrule castle—it was quite sheltered. I only knew what my tutors told me—well, one of the captains, Ashei, she did also try her best to make sure that I would be able to know about what was going on in the kingdom, be even then, it was not enough for me to not get the feeling that there were so many things that I did not know about. So when I heard Midna tell me that the king was a tyrant, I don’t know… I just knew that I would not be able to stay inside the castle anymore and ignore the fact that I knew that someone was lying to me.”</p>
<p>“So you decided to sneak onto the ship?” Zelda must have nodded, for Cremia continued, her voice sounding too warm for the conversation. “Was it not frightening? I mean, you and I both know that there was no need to actually be afraid, but back then, before you got the chance to learn all of this, to see that you had no reasons to fear them, did you not fear that you might have made a mistake?”</p>
<p>Midna pushed against the door, stumbling back, until she hit the wall behind her. She could not continue to listen, not when they were about to talk about her, about the fact that, for the first weeks after Zelda had returned home with them, the way Midna had acted should have made anyone who did not possess the same kind of blindingly strong optimism as Zelda begin to question whether or not they had made the right decision, whether they had just made the biggest mistake of their lives by forcing a group of people who, for all they knew were indeed pirates, to bring them back to their base, knowing full well that once they were there, they would not be able to leave again. But, more than anything, Midna knew that she would not be able to listen to the conversation, to hear the warmth and friendship that had already bloomed between the two. She simply couldn’t stay there and listen to Zelda finally have to give up the pure sense of wonder that had surrounded the idea of the rebels she had thought Midna and the rest of the people in the base would be, the thing that had seemed to blind her to reality. No matter how justified she knew it would be, how she knew that she should have known that, with how she had acted, it would only be a matter of time, Midna did not want to stay and listen.</p>
<p>So she didn’t.</p>
<p>Making sure that she did not make a sound, did not alert Cremia and Zelda to the fact that she had overheard their conversation, Midna began to walk back towards the Shadow. She began sprinting the moment she was sure they would not be able to hear the echo of her footsteps.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Uh, Midna, hello.”</p>
<p>Ilia might have tried to hide her surprise at seeing Midna standing there, right outside her room, looking like she was about to sit down and cry, but she did not succeed, not at all. As Midna looked at her and saw the way her eyebrows rose, her mouth already trying to form the words to ask her just what she was doing there exactly, it could not have been more obvious that Ilia would rather have been left alone right in that moment.</p>
<p>Midna should probably have let her have that, refraining from making even more chaos, but right then, she did not care, instead staying silent until Ilia finally continued, stepping backwards to gesture towards her. “Do you want to come inside or something?”</p>
<p>The right thing to do would have been to say no and let Ilia have her privacy since that was obviously what she wanted, which was probably also the reason for why Midna stepped into the room immediately, all too quick to use Ilia’s unwillingness to tell her to leave as an excuse to stay even when she was not welcome all because she did not want to be alone right then. It was not because she had not tried to, though, or at least that was what Midna tried to tell herself to lessen the feelings of guilt as she walked in to see that Link was sitting on the floor, sending her a smile, almost saying Ilia’s name, before he realised how Midna was indeed not his girlfriend, but rather just his friend who had not wanted to be alone. Each time she had tried to lie down in her bed, hoping that she could get a moment to rest and not having to think about what had happened by falling asleep, her mind had brought her back to the moment when she had felt how the words almost spilt from her lips, a fact that had now brought her here.</p>
<p>To his credit, Link was better than Ilia at pretending that he was not at all disappointed to find that Midna was about to interrupt their moment, though that did not mean much either. Pushing himself up from the floor, Link sent a not that subtle look around Midna, clearly trying to figure out if Ilia knew the reason for why she was there, before pulling Midna into a hug, only pausing for a moment to make sure that he would not accidentally disrupt the bandage that Uli had replaced the very same morning, saying something about how they had to keep the wound clean.</p>
<p>She wanted to remain strong, to say that the hug did not make her feel better. After all, it was so silly; she was better than that, she would be just fine on her own, she did not need someone to hold her. Maybe it was just because she was tired, maybe it was because the hug and the fact that Link had had to be careful not to touch the bandage had reminded her of the fact that Zelda had not sought her out to offer to change cloth the way Midna knew she would have done only a few days before, or at least that was what Midna hoped was the case, but in that moment, as Link, rather than asking any questions, rather than making her explain what she had done to push Zelda away, just stroked her hair and waited until she moved to let go of her, she could feel the tears sting in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Are you all right?” Link looked up at her, his eyes wide, and in that moment, Midna knew that if she said no, both he and Ilia would be ready to let go of the moment they had just shared to be at her side in an instant, ready to try their best to help her.</p>
<p>That knowledge should have made her stop, should have kept her from sharing what had happened with them and ruining the evening for them even more than she already had, but, no matter how much she tried not to cry, Midna could feel how the tears pressed against her willpower, the latter soon giving way, allowing the tears to stream down her face as she tried to explain what had happened.</p>
<p>Both Link and Ilia stayed quiet until she finally got to how she had really allowed herself to think that Zelda would have any reason for wanting to see her ever again, how she had gone to find her, only to overhear the conversation. No matter how much Midna tried to search for an answer to the question of just what they would say on their faces, she could not figure out what they were thinking, if they were judging her as well, if they would draw back the moment she stopped talking as well.</p>
<p>“I just…” Midna said, struggling to find the right words. There were so many, and yet, the more she sought, the more she began to feel like she would never find the correct answer, “I know that I should not care, but I do. I mean, we were never friends, but—”</p>
<p>“Wait, you weren’t friends?” Ilia tilted her head to the side, looking first over at Link and then back at Midna. “Because, to me, it feels like you were, or at least that you wanted for the two of you to be friends.”</p>
<p>Midna opened her mouth, ready to remind Ilia of the fact that, no matter what, she had little reason to care about whether or not Zelda would consider the two of them friends. Then she closed it again. It simply was not possible for her to stand there and try to argue that she did not care about what Zelda thought about her, not when she had just sobbed at the thought of how she might possibly have made it so that any chance of there even being a friendship between them would have been irrevocably destroyed.</p>
<p>Link must have been able to tell or, if nothing else, then guess the reason for why she did not answer, for, despite how he clearly tried to hide it, Midna saw how he reached out towards Ilia, taking her hand to signal to her to give him a moment to speak. “Midna,” he said, “I am sure that things are going to be all right.”</p>
<p>“No, it won’t.” she wanted to believe him, Midna really did, but right then, she could not even begin to imagine gathering up the strength that would be necessary to convince herself that that was the truth. Besides, it was not like she deserved that, the comfort of being able to believe that she had not just pushed Zelda away for good.</p>
<p>But Link continued, seemingly unaffected by her pessimism. “I am sure that it will. Besides, you didn’t stay to listen to what Zelda told Cremia, did you?”</p>
<p>She hadn’t, and although Midna tried her best to keep it from happening, she felt the hope fluttering in her chest. He was right, she had left too early to be able to say for certain that Zelda had continued to tell Cremia how she had realised the truth about her, had finally stopped trying to lie to herself and instead seen Midna for who she really was, someone who had been able to leave everything, all her responsibilities and her past, behind the moment she began to fear for her own life.</p>
<p>“I suppose you might be right about that,” Midna said, not knowing why it was so difficult to admit it. However, that soon changed, as the sight of both Link and Ilia sending each other a knowing look, almost like they had figured out something that she had yet to see, reminded her of just why it had not been a good idea to go see them, so she made sure to continue, “but that does not change the fact that now that Cremia is here, I doubt Zelda will want to spend time with me anymore.”</p>
<p>Ilia cocked her head. “How do you know that?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t show up to eat dinner with me, and I instead found her with Cremia. Is that not enough proof for you that she is happy that she does not have to deal with me anymore?”</p>
<p>This time, it was Link who shook his head, questioning her conclusions. “Midna, please don’t take this the wrong way, but have you ever considered the fact that Zelda might be happy to be able to talk with someone whom she can relate to?”</p>
<p>Link might have told her not to take it the wrong way, but that did not stop Midna from doing just that. Feeling how her shoulders rose, she shot him a hurt look, halfway expecting for him to sigh and roll his eyes at her or instantly saying that he had not meant it like that. When he did neither of those things, Midna tried her best to control her voice, although she could tell that she was fighting a battle she would not be able to win the next moment. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Well…” Link said, clearly trying his best to delay the moment when he would have to answer, “it’s just that… other than Zelda, there really wasn’t anyone here who had not been living here for years already before Grog, Cremia and Romani arrived. So, at least to me, it would seem completely predictable that Zelda would want to spend time with her.”</p>
<p>“But we used to eat together,” Midna reminded him, her voice sounding just a bit too much like a whine for her to be comfortable with it. After all, when all was said and done, she had no reasons to care about what Zelda was doing or whom she was eating dinner with, nor was it her place to begin to feel like she had any right to her time, especially with what had happened.</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, I am sure that you will find that, in just a few days, you will do that again.”</p>
<p>At that, Midna looked up at Link, almost unable to believe that he had not listened to a word of what she had been saying. “Link, did you not hear me? I just said that I told Cremia about how Zelda was the princess—or, well, I might not have been the one to actually say it, but I did create a situation where Zelda had no other choice than to tell her. Do you really think she will come back after that?”</p>
<p>Link shrugged. “I don’t know. All I am saying is that she has forgiven you for worse things than that before, so I don’t see why she might not also forgive you for this one.”</p>
<p>It was not exactly the comforting thought Midna had wanted, the idea that Zelda might just be bad at knowing when to give up on people, but although it by all means should have made her feel even worse, she could feel the despair evaporate as she let the words sink in. Maybe Link really did know what to say after all.</p>
<p>“I think that Link is right,” Ilia offered, making Link send her a wry smile.</p>
<p>“Well, then we know that I am right.” he laughed as Ilia punched him on the shoulder, though he soon became serious again, looking over at Midna almost like he was just trying to figure out if giving her another hug would make things better or worse. He must have settled for the latter being the case, for, rather than reaching out towards her, he nodded at her as he added. “But, Midna, I think it would be a good idea for you to try to help Cremia for a bit.”</p>
<p>“Why?” but even as she said it, Midna knew what he would say, knew that he would be right.</p>
<p>At least Link did not have to brag about it, did not have to make it obvious that she knew that she was being petty if she refused, instead simply making a nonchalant gesture. “I just think that after having fled from her home, coming to live with people she has never met before and trying to get used to life out here, it would probably be good for her to be able to ask the person who saved her for help. It might make everything a little easier for her and her sister.”</p>
<p>He was right. Of course he was. But even then, Midna would only have to think about the way her stomach was still hurting at the thought of having to go back to Zelda and Cremia to tell them how she was sorry, to, for what felt like the hundredth time, admit that she had not acted the way she should have, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to do it right then. It would simply have to wait for another day.</p>
<p>“I will do it tomorrow,” Midna said. As Link only sent her a tiny grin, Ilia looking at her with a look in her eyes that Midna did not know what to make of, she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince them or if it was perhaps herself the words had been meant for. But at least she had said them. Hopefully, the fact that both Link and Ilia had heard it would be enough to force her to actually do it, to seek out Cremia and try to talk with her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Midna had tried to delay the moment where she would have no other choice but to seek out Cremia, she really had. But, despite how she could make an endless list of the things she would rather have done than trying to go talk with her to find out what she was thinking about everything, if she really might have sat down to listen to Zelda confess that she had been blind, had been willing to ignore the fact that her stomach had told her to leave, to not spend time with Midna, she found that she was not able to stop thinking about what the answers to her questions might be. Even just that night, it took hours for her to finally relax enough to fall asleep, continuing to toss and turn, hoping that she could trick her body into thinking that she was tired, ceasing the thoughts that whirled through her mind every second. By the time the sun began to peek in through the porthole, Midna’s head was aching, reminding her of how she could barely have got more than a few hours of sleep. Maybe that was the reason for why she gave up, the fact that now that she was as far from fully rested as she could possibly be, she did not have the energy to fight the urge to head out to visit Cremia.</p>
<p>No matter the reason, fact was that she did not even pause to eat breakfast, instead letting her feet take her in the direction of where Cremia and Romani had chosen to live, their rooms being located just a few metres away from Grog’s. Midna really was not sure how they had come to know each other, if they were related or perhaps close friends, nor did she care. All that mattered as she dragged her feet over the stone floor that morning, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes despite knowing that it was hopeless, was the fact that they had at least chosen to live quite far away from the rest of the base. Should the worst thing happen, should Zelda be there and decide that it was time to return all the times Midna had yelled at her, at least everyone else would not be there to listen to it.</p>
<p>She knocked on the door once, then twice, before stepping back, waiting. If only Cremia and Romani would have left to go to the dining hall, then she might not have to do it just now, she could wait for another day.</p>
<p>As the seconds passed, time almost feeling like it had slowed down around her, the only sign that it had not stopped existing completely being the fact that Midna could hear the sound of her own heartbeat reflected in the rush of blood that echoed in her ears, she could feel how the tightness in her chest eased a little. Perhaps they would not be there. After all, Midna knew that she had not exactly woken up early. With a little bit of luck, they might have had time to leave their rooms, making it to the dining hall without her having got the chance to run into them on her way to their rooms.</p>
<p>Evidently, Midna had used up all her luck a long time ago, for she had barely thought it through, before the door squeaked on its hinges and Cremia stood in front of her, looking up at her with the surprise almost painted onto her face.</p>
<p>However, that was not the first thing Midna noticed as she looked down at her. No, with how her heart almost felt like it should have stopped, all the air being forced out of her lungs in a single, inaudible, gasp, she knew that she was not merely imagining things, as tempting as it would have been to allow herself to believe that, to not have to ponder just what it meant. Where Cremia had worn what, to Midna at least, had seemed like a fairly common set of clothes for someone living on a ranch only the day before, boots, blouse, and a skirt with mud stains on almost every single part of the fabric, a fact she imagined might have been a little less obvious before she had had to hide from the guards by sitting underneath a tree, pressed against the dirty wall and floor of the cave, she was now wearing a dress that was awfully familiar to Midna. The blue fabric, the intricate embroidery, the way the lace lined the hems, it all made it so that, even if Midna had not been able to recall exactly how the very same dressed had looked after Zelda had stood up after having just tried to hide in a chest, a rumpled mess of silk, she would still have been able to tell that it had belonged to a princess once.</p>
<p>“Midna.”</p>
<p>She almost did not hear Cremia, but, just before she would have been able to embarrass herself even more, managing to catch herself from saying something stupid at the last moment, Midna looked back up, with what she hoped was a neutral expression.</p>
<p>She must have been able to plaster on a somewhat convincing smile. That, or either Cremia was just bad at reading facial expressions, for she continued like Midna had not just recognised the dress she was wearing as being Zelda’s, smiling up at her as she spoke. “It is good to see you! I was actually just wondering where you had been yesterday. Romani talked about you a lot.” she nodded towards the room behind her, and as Midna finally forced herself to tear her gaze away from the dress, she could see how the little girl was now sitting at the rickety table towards the back of the room.</p>
<p>In proper lighting and when she was sitting still rather than clinging to her sister, Midna could see that she might have underestimated her age a little, for the look Romani sent her was not exactly that of a child who had just had to abandon her home to come live with a bunch of people she should have known as pirates. Suddenly, the idea of her having decided to defend the ranch by shooting arrows after the king’s soldiers did not seem so unlikely anymore and, although Midna tried to resist thinking any good thoughts about Cremia, she had to admit that she could respect her sister. Staying to defend her home, it truly was a heroic action. If Midna had done the same thing, perhaps things would have been different now.</p>
<p>It did not seem that Cremia had noticed how she was not paying attention, for she continued, Midna only vaguely aware of what she was saying. “To tell the truth, I think that she admires you quite a lot.” Cremia leant in, almost like it was a great secret, smiling at Midna.</p>
<p>It was clear that she was waiting for her to smile, to create some kind of shared joke between them. But although Midna could still hear what Link and Ilia had advised her to do, she would rather turn around now and leave the room immediately than begin to let Cremia think that they were friends, so she simply kept up the polite smile, tilting her head just a bit to let Cremia know that the lack of a reaction was not due to her not having heard her.</p>
<p>At last, Cremia seemed to get the message, blushing a bit, as she cleared her throat. “Well, no matter what, it is an honour to get the chance to talk with you. I—I really meant what I told you back in the infirmary, you know. If you had not been there, I would have lost everything—my sister, the ranch, Grog… everything that has ever meant something to me.”</p>
<p>She wanted to remain cold, wanted to be able to stay angry, but as she saw Cremia’s eyes turn shiny, Midna could almost physically feel how the anger melted away. What was she doing? Here she was, standing in front of a girl who had just had to give up her old life, all because the king had decided that she had done something to deserve losing everything. Casting a glance at where Romani had turned in her chair, looking over at them with wide eyes, Midna could feel the smile disappear, making way for the tears as well. Before she had even realised what had happened, she had reached out, pulling Cremia in for a hug.</p>
<p>“I am sorry,” Midna whispered, hoping that Cremia freezing was only due to the surprise and not a sign that she had just messed up again, “I… I can’t imagine what it must have been like.”</p>
<p>Cremia remained silent, only moving as Midna let go of her. But then, she did also look up at her, an almost disbelieving look in her eyes as she spoke. “You can’t?”</p>
<p>There was something in her tone of voice, something Midna could not quite name, that sent a shiver down her back. She could not know—no one except for Link could possibly have known. But as Midna remembered the maid, the way a single glance at her had seemingly been enough for her to make the connection, she could not completely dismiss the idea that her secret might not be as secret as she had wanted for it to be. Still, there was a chance that Cremia might have been trying to refer to something else entirely, and if that was the case, Midna would not let her know how she had been closer to the truth than she felt comfortable with just yet. So, hoping and praying to any goddess who might listen to her, hoping that Ilia had been right, Midna tried her best to look confused as she answered. “What do you meant? I have lived out here for most of my life and before that, I lived on the streets of Hateno.”</p>
<p>Rather than responding, Cremia simply sent her a long look, a crease growing between her eyebrows. Fighting to look like every last muscle in her body was not readying itself, making it so that she would be able to run away at a moment’s notice, fleeing from both Cremia and the truth, Midna stood still, hoping that Cremia would give up if she did not receive any proof that she might be right.</p>
<p>And, finally, that was what happened, Cremia shrugging slightly, doubt combined with suspicion apparent in every single line on her face. “I don’t know. I suppose… I suppose you just reminded me of something I read a long time ago, I suppose.”</p>
<p>“Well, I am also an infamous pirate,” Midna said, trying to laugh, though it sounded more like her struggling to breathe as she continued, “so you might have seen a drawing of me one of the times the king sent out his soldiers to inform people in the villages to look out for me and my crew.” but Cremia still did not look convinced. She had to try something else. Although she knew that she would not be able to not make it sound natural, right then, Midna decided that trying to change the subject would probably be her best option, so she gestured towards nothing in particular, hoping that Cremia would interpret it to her advantage. “Speaking of which, how come you changed your mind about coming back with me? I mean, I know that I look better in person than I do when the king pays someone to draw me, but still… what made you decide that you could trust us?”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t like I had any other choice,” Cremia said. The look Midna sent her must have been enough to let her know that it was not exactly enough to explain why she had only changed her mind upon seeing Midna, for she added, “also, you mentioned Romani, and… I knew that, no matter what might await me if I went with you, it would be better than staying and waiting for the king to find us. No matter what I might have told him to try to convince him that my sister had never meant to harm anyone, I knew that it would never be enough.”</p>
<p>“Well, what would you have told him?” Midna leant to the side, placing a hand against the edge of the doorway to keep herself upright.</p>
<p>With a little smile that seemed completely devoid of any real sense of humour, Cremia gave a little toss of the head in the direction of where Romani had gone back to look down at the table. “Would you believe me if I told you that Romani had run into the house after shooting arrows after the king’s soldiers, telling me that she had seen aliens come down from the sky, trying to take the cows away from us?”</p>
<p>Midna did not have to think about what her answer to that question would be. “No,” she said, “no, I would never have believed that. If she had said that she had seen pirates, then yes, I would have believed her, or at least I think it would have been more convincing. But aliens? No, never.”</p>
<p>“Exactly.” Cremia nodded. “That was what I thought. And when I found out that she had really attacked some of the king’s soldiers, and that was when I knew that we had to leave. Although,” she leant closer towards Midna, dropping her voice until it was barely more than a whisper, and despite how she had not planned to stay for so long, Midna found herself leaning in as well, suddenly unable to imagine not being able to catch each and every word of what she was saying, “I must admit that even if the king had not tried to seize our ranch and Romani had never attacked the soldiers, I doubt I would have been able to stay there for much longer. You see, I had heard rumours about a group of rebels existing somewhere just across the old border, on the other side of the mountains.”</p>
<p>And just like that, Midna could almost feel how every bit of sympathy for Cremia disappeared in an instant. So she was simply yet another person who would try to convince her to risk her life, to risk the lives of everyone in the mountain, all to at least be able to spend their last few seconds knowing that they had given their lives for what some might consider a noble cause, even if everyone could see that they had died for nothing.</p>
<p>But, somehow, Midna found the strength to keep herself from lashing out the way she would once have done, instead doing her best to look like she did not understand what Cremia was talking about. “I am not sure I follow. You do know that we are not some kind of secret organisation of rebels, right? We are in no way planning to go against the king. All we hope to do out here is to stay alive.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I understand that completely.” Midna could see how Cremia was trying her best to take back everything she had said.</p>
<p>For some reason, that only made her even more annoyed. If Cremia wanted to talk about rebellion, then the least she could do would be to show enough courage to not abandon the idea the moment Midna expressed disdain for the thought of them being rebels. Zelda had been insufferable with how she had continued to believe her to be some kind of hero, seemingly able to ignore the fact that Midna had told her time and time again that thinking that she was anything more than just a selfish person trying her best to stay alive no matter the cost would only end with her being disappointed, but at least she had shown enough courage to not abandon her idealistic optimism the minute Midna had told her that she might has well be living in her own fantasy world with how she honestly believed that they might be able to change anything.</p>
<p>Zelda. Midna felt almost like she might throw up as she remembered the way she had acted the last time she had seen her, for a moment having been transported back to a point in time where she had been able to talk to her.</p>
<p>Cremia did not give her the chance to think about it for long, something Midna did not know what to think of. As nice as it was to not have to force herself not to cry, not to show weakness in front of Cremia, the moment Cremia began to speak again, Midna found herself wishing that she was standing in front of Zelda rather than Cremia, willing to give almost anything in the world to get the chance to apologise.</p>
<p>But, for now at least, she was standing here, and so, Midna fought to pay attention, even if her thoughts were several metres away, flying around the base as she tried to figure out where Zelda might be right in that second.</p>
<p>Bringing her hands up into a placating gesture, Cremia was evidently making every attempt at smoothing over the harsh tone between them. “I was not trying to say that you were some kind of secret rebel organisation. Trust me, I would never try to take all of this away from you, not when you have saved both my sister and myself. I was just… I simply meant that I had heard rumours while going to Clock Town that not everyone would simply allow the king to decide what to do, to continue to send soldiers out to catch everyone who might have done something he did not like.”</p>
<p>Forcing herself to let go of the thought of how she had to go find Zelda, how she had to figure out what she might possibly say to her, how she could ever begin to apologise for what she had done, Midna redirected her attention towards the conversation at hand. Zelda would have to wait, despite how the guilt made her stomach ache at the thought. For now, she had to figure out how she could bring an end to the security threat that people talking about the existence of a secret base on the other side of the mountains might become in the future. So, trying her best to send a smile to Cremia, hoping that she might be able to get the truth if she only pretended to not be about to either burst into tears or running away, she forced herself to seem calm. “And who told you that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” thankfully, Cremia continued before Midna got the chance to completely lose her composure at the idea of Cremia honestly not knowing where she had heard such a rumour. “It was just… I don’t know—it was just rumours. No one knew how it had started. I just know that some of the servants for the wealthier families would sometimes organise secret meetings and that Grog once overheard some of it while walking home after having tried to sell some of the cuccos in Clock Town. They seemed to believe that the queen of the Twilight Realm had not been killed during the coup d’état, that the very idea of such a thing having happened was just a lie Ganondorf had made up to give himself an excuse to seize power, and… I must admit that I didn’t believe it, seeing as it felt a little too much like wishful thinking, but then, once I knew that the soldiers might try to take my sister, I knew that I had no other choice than to risk everything. If there was even the tiniest chance that they might be right, if there were people out there who would oppose Ganondorf, then I would not be able to stay there and just wait for them to come.”</p>
<p>“But there isn’t.” Midna wasn’t sure if she was trying too much, if she was making her fear even more obvious, but she continued nonetheless, unable to stop herself. “I get that you might think that we are some kinds of rebels, that Zelda—” her throat felt like the words had cut her, bringing up the memory of how she had been unable to keep back the words, but she did not let it stop her, “that she might have told you something like that, but we really are not in any way trying to save people. The fact that we went out to get you and your sister was simply due to the fact that I made a promise to Grog.”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Cremia sent her a long glance. “I suppose that must be the truth. I am sorry, it was just that, for a moment, I must have mistaken you for someone else.”</p>
<p>“Well, I do have one of those faces.”</p>
<p>“You must have,” Cremia agreed, “but, listen, Midna, I don’t know what you think Zelda has told me, but I assure you that she has not said anything to me about you being a rebel.”</p>
<p>“She hasn’t?” by all means, Midna should have felt relieved, but the only thing she could think about was that she had hoped that Zelda might have. Even if Midna was not and would never become the kind of person Zelda wanted her to be, if Zelda thought that opposing the king was the right thing to do, then Midna would not complain about Zelda believing that she might one day do just that.</p>
<p>“No.” Cremia shook her head. “In fact, she told me specifically not to think of you as a rebel. Apparently, she thought that you wouldn’t like it if I did. But she did still tell me that you were the reason that she had not been sent home the moment she had been found aboard the Shadow.”</p>
<p>“I—uh…” she could not finish the sentence, instead letting the sound trail off. If what Cremia was saying was true, if that was really what Zelda had told her, then that might mean that Link had been right about how Midna had left the corridor too early to be able to know for certain what Zelda’s answer had been.</p>
<p>Thankfully, she did not have to say anything, as Cremia simply sent her a little smile, looking almost like she knew something that Midna didn’t as she nodded. “Yes. From what I could tell, she seems to think that you are brave for having stood up for her even though you should have wanted to send her home immediately rather than taking the risk of keeping a princess here.”</p>
<p>Was that really what Zelda had thought? No matter how much Midna tried to twist the fact, tried to recall the first few weeks differently, all she could remember was how she had barely been able to not lash out at Zelda, letting herself take out her anger on her, constantly turning around to remind her that she was not welcome. Granted, she had argued for letting her stay, but that had been due to the fact that, with how Zelda had already seen the base, it would not be safe to send her back to Hyrule Castle. Had that not been the case, Midna would not have thought twice about having to break the promise she had made to allow her to stay, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself.</p>
<p>Searching for anything she might be able to use to change the subject, Midna caught onto the end of the sentence, looking over at Cremia, hoping that she would not be able to tell just what she was trying to do. “Uh, I, about what I said in the infirmary, I—”</p>
<p>But Cremia interrupted her before she got the chance to finish the sentence. “No, I get it. You had just woken up and you were confused. I will not lie and say that I would not have wanted to learn about it in a way that was little less… abrupt, but I suppose that it was nice to know almost immediately. Still, I am not the one you really want to apologise to, am I?”</p>
<p>Midna could not keep back the hint of a smile. “No, I suppose you aren’t.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Cremia gripped her hand, giving it a little squeeze, “I must tell you that I am grateful for how you came here to talk with me. Even if you insist that you are not trying to save anyone, I have to admit that you have saved both myself, Romani, and Grog, and for that, I will never be able to thank you enough.”</p>
<p>“But that is not what I am doing here, I am just trying to survive,” Midna insisted. Seeing how Cremia just smiled at her, almost like she knew better, should have angered her, made her lash out once more, but no matter how much Midna tried to muster up the feelings to do so, to make sure that Cremia knew that, had it not been for a hasty promise to Grog, she would have been perfectly content just staying in the base and let Cremia and Romani try to defend themselves, she could not bring herself to do so. Still, she would have to make sure that they knew that she was not the great saviour they had expected her to be, the long-lost princess the maid had tried to paint her as with her little emblem and the way she had talked about there being plenty of people believing that she might one day return to claim her rightful place as the heir to the Twili throne in a hushed whisper, so, even as Cremia clearly thought the conversation to be over, Midna still did not let go of her hand, instead taking a step towards her, hoping that it would give her words more weight as she continued, “really, Cremia, I am not this hero you might believe that I am. Zelda thought that I was, and I understand if she has managed to convince you as well—she has a way to do that within only a couple of seconds—but I need you to know that that is not the case.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she almost thought that Cremia would protest, stubbornly refusing to admit the truth just like Zelda had done, but then she nodded. “All right. If you say so, then I will try my best not to think of all of this as some kind of secret rebel base, even if Romani still thinks that you are some kind of secret bringer of justice.”</p>
<p>At the mention of her name, Romani looked up, casting a glance in their direction.</p>
<p>Stumbling backwards, Midna tried her best not to think about the fact that she could almost see the same kind of foolish hope that the adults knew what they were doing that had been enough to make her wait in a forest for months, waiting for the servants to return even as she ran out of food, reflected in her eyes.</p>
<p>“Great, I just needed to make sure that you knew that,” she mumbled at Cremia, before turning around and leaving, only barely able to keep herself from running until she turned around the corner. Once she knew that Cremia would no longer be able to see her, she began to sprint.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She found Ilia and Link back in the hangar, having returned to work on Epona, though that soon came to an end as she sat down next to them.</p>
<p>Before Midna had even got the chance to say anything, Link had already all but thrown the piece of metal he had been about to hand Ilia to the side in order to quickly move over to sit next to her. “So? Did you talk with her?”</p>
<p>“If you mean Zelda, then the answer is no.” to Midna’s surprise, neither Link nor Ilia looked all that surprised at that, but she tried her best not to dwell on it. So far, it would appear that her thinking about things had yet to actually make her decisions any better. “But if you are referring to Cremia, then yes, I just spoke with her.”</p>
<p>“I told you so,” Ilia whispered to Link, though she did not keep her voice low enough for Midna not to hear it.</p>
<p>Even if that had not been the case, with how Link sent her a look, quite clearly telling her to be quiet, it would have been next to impossible for Midna not to know that they were talking about her, especially with how Link immediately tried to smile at her, the expression coming across as only halfway fake as he gestured towards her. “Well,” he prompted, “what did she say to you? And what did you tell her?”</p>
<p>“Not much.” picking up one of the drawings, Midna tried to pretend to know what any of the scribbles on it meant, giving herself a few extra seconds to consider her words. “Mostly, she just talked a lot about how she was so grateful that we had come to get her, how she would not have known what to do if I had not shown up in that moment.”</p>
<p>“And yet, you sound angry,” Ilia observed.</p>
<p>She should have been able to stay calm, to remind herself that she was about to make the exact same kind of mistake that had made her push everyone away. But as Midna looked over at Ilia and saw how she looked at her like she might truly still not understand exactly why it was so dangerous for people to look at them and think that they were some kind of group dedicated to bringing justice to the land, why she had been careful not to let anyone know just how she had managed to get one of the ships from the fleet of the royal family of the Twilight Realm, she felt the anger rise up in her chest.</p>
<p>“Ilia…” Link whispered, clearly seeing the disaster that was about to unfold right in front of him, “let us just—”</p>
<p>Midna interrupted him before he got the chance to finish the sentence. “No, let her finish. Go on, Ilia tell me how irrational I am for being angry about the fact that ever since Zelda arrived, everyone here seems to refuse to just accept the fact that I want to stay here, instead thinking that I might be some kind of hero who just needs a little push to accept the fact that it is my responsibility to free everyone. Go on, tell me that I should just accept the fact that, apparently, everyone around me has just decided that I am the type of person to stand up for the weak and defenceless even though I am trying to tell you that the only people I care about are the ones within this base.” she was rambling, Midna knew it. She could hear how her voice shook, her breath becoming uneven, but she could not stop herself, not when she had finally begun to put everything into words, allowing the pressure of knowing that any moment could be the second where Zelda would finally wake up and see that she had been too optimistic about who Midna was to escape her. “Please, continue. Obviously, everything I want is for someone to continue to tell me that I am a good person despite the fact that all evidence seems to suggest otherwise!”</p>
<p>The silence that replaced the sound of her voice felt even heavier than the burden. Almost like a switch had been flipped, the anger soon became guilt, rising up from her stomach as Midna saw how Ilia only looked at her, the chock evident on her face as she tried to find something to say, the sadness and sympathy she could almost feel seeping into the air as Link reach out to put an arm around her shoulders cutting into her.</p>
<p>“I—” Ilia began, and although she would have sworn that it would not have been possible, Midna felt her heart drop as she saw how she had to reach up to wipe away the tears, “I am sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I just thought that—” she never finished the sentence, instead pushing herself off the ground, sending Link a short nod, “I have to go for a moment, please excuse me.” and with that, she turned around and began to walk towards the corridor leading to her room, clearly doing her best not to run.</p>
<p>“Wait.” Link tightened his grip around Midna’s shoulder as she tried to stand up, knowing that she had to go after her. “You will not be able to talk with her right now. I will talk with her later.”</p>
<p>“But I have to—”</p>
<p>“No. There is nothing you can do right now. I promise you that it will be all right soon, but right now, trying to talk with her is only going to make things worse.” Link was clearly trying his best to sound convincing, but even then, Midna could almost feel how he struggled to believe his own words. Still, it did not change the fact that believing him, allowing herself to think that she could just sit there and let Link take care of her mistakes, seemed awfully convenient right then, especially as Link continued. “She—I mean, of course she was hurt by what you said, but I actually think that the biggest reason for why she left like that is that she has been worried about you for some time now—we both have.”</p>
<p>Immediately, any sense of relief that might have followed Link’s promise to try to talk with Ilia was shattered, leaving Midna unable to do anything other than looking up at him, trying her best not to cry. She had already overreacted with Zelda and Ilia. If she did the same with Link now, if she pushed away the first person she had allowed herself to become close with after having been left alone in the forest, she was not sure what she could do other than giving up completely. So, even though the same vicious voice that had followed her into her nightmares tried to make her insist that she had to talk with Ilia immediately, Midna forced herself to sit still, to trust Link’s judgement.</p>
<p>“Worried?” she echoed. “About me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I mean, with how you have acted lately, I can’t see how we could have been able not to.” when Midna remained silent, Link moved closer to her, Epona and the fact that they had left part of the engine on the floor seemingly forgotten. “Midna, you need to—I don’t know—be kinder to yourself.”</p>
<p>“Kind to myself? Really? That is what you believe after everything that has just happened?” Midna wanted to laugh, but she was too scared that the only sound she would be able to make would be a sob, and decided against it, instead keeping her mouth shut.</p>
<p>If she had hoped that Link would finally wake up after that, she would have been disappointed. She supposed it should be a good thing that she had never really expected for him to ever begin to realise when he was fighting a losing battle, but as he patted her shoulder, clearly thinking that he was helping, the fact that he was still so incredibly kind even after she had made Ilia run away only made her feel even worse.</p>
<p>“Yes, it is. Midna, I know you. You didn’t act this way for the first few years after I met you.”</p>
<p>“So? People change.” the words had barely left her mouth before Midna realised that they had been the wrong thing to say, Link instantly beaming at her, like she had just proved his point.</p>
<p>“Exactly. People change. You could do so as well, become the person who was able to share her food with a stranger once more. And do you know what?”</p>
<p>Midna had an idea about what he would say, but she still shook her head. It did not feel right to say it.</p>
<p>However, that only made Link’s smile a bit wider, almost like he was trying to make up for the fact that she refused to let him help her. “I think you want to be a bit more like her as well.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t,” Midna whispered, but she could hear how uncertain she sounded as her voice began to shake.</p>
<p>“I believe you do. If not, then you would not have gone out to save Cremia and Romani, you would just have told Grog that it was not your problem and then told him to leave. You could just have been happy that the maid decided to help you rather than continuing to think about whether or not she suffered any consequences for it. But even before that, you would have told Zelda to leave, sent her back home to Hyrule Castle.”</p>
<p>“I had to allow her to stay once she had first seen the base. If not, then I would have risked the safety of everyone in here.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps.” Link paused for a moment, giving her just enough time to know that he did not believe that at all. “But do you know what I think?” he did not wait for her answer, instead continuing. “I think that you want not to care. I think that you want to be able to say that you don’t care about anything so badly that you are trying to make yourself believe that that is the truth. After all, you found Zelda before we had even reached the base. You could easily have left her in some village, but you decided to listen to her wishes and bring her back home to the base even though you must have known that once she was there, no one would be able to argue that she had to leave, seeing as she would then know the location of our home.”</p>
<p>He was waiting for her answer. Midna could tell that he was waiting for her to admit that he was right, for her to agree that he had been right about it all. But although she could not deny the fact that she would easily have been able to send Zelda back to the guards by simply not allowing her to catch a glimpse of their surroundings, by keeping her in the storeroom while figuring out what to do, the idea that she might have made the decision to bring her up to the cabin without telling anyone, knowing that the moment Zelda would be able to look at the landscape below, not even to mention the second she would see the base hidden in the mountain, they would have to let her stay, it was all too much for her to try to accept.</p>
<p>Shoving Link’s hand off her shoulder, she stood up, her legs shaking beneath her. “I—I have to think about it,” she said, hoping that she was not crying despite how her voice was trembling so much that the words were barely audible.</p>
<p>“Of course. I will go talk with Ilia then. But, Midna,” Link said, reaching out to take her hand, keeping her from leaving just yet, “please, just try to admit the truth to yourself. And talk with Zelda. I promise you that things are not as bad as you might think they are.”</p>
<p>With a shaky smile, trying her best to pretend that it was anywhere close to the real thing, Midna sent him a nod. “I… I will try.”</p>
<p>“And—and this is not me trying to tell you that rebellion is a good idea—but, Midna, I know that you think that it would never work, but there are people here who believe that it might be the only way to achieve any kind of freedom. They are not trying to make you feel bad, just making an attempt at clinging to what little hope they can still find.”</p>
<p>It took what little strength she had left to push back the wave of annoyance. Why did it always have to come to this, why did every conversation always have to be about the fact that she refused to stand by and watch as everyone around her got themselves killed? But as Midna forced herself to look past the fact that rebellion was a sure way for everyone to ensure that they would die soon, she had to admit that, if she could pretend, even for a minute, that they would stand a chance, she might have been just as quick as Zelda was to believe that it would honestly be as simple as them standing up, openly telling Ganondorf that they would never accept him as their king and that the rest of the kingdoms would then rise to stand with them.</p>
<p>“I will try,” she promised, hoping that it would be enough.</p>
<p>And that seemed to be the case, or at least Link only bowed his head. “That is all I could have asked of you. Now, I will have to go talk with Ilia, so—”</p>
<p>Before he had time to finish the sentence, Midna had already pulled him in for an embrace. “Thank you,” she mumbled, for once not fighting to keep back the tears, “for everything.”</p>
<p>She could not have been more grateful for how Link did not reply, did not try to tell her that it was nothing, instead simply hugging her back.</p>
<p>But despite how Midna would have done anything for the moment to never have to end, of course Link moved back much too soon, sending her a little smile.</p>
<p>“I am happy to see the old Midna,” he said, his voice so low that she was not quite sure if she had heard correctly.</p>
<p>Before Midna got the chance to ask, Link had already turned around and headed away, walking in the same direction as where Ilia had gone, leaving Midna alone with her thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have a bit of jealousy along with a reminder of the people Midna would be fighting for if she made the decision to become a symbol of the rebellion that she cannot ignore.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Link was right. Midna might not like to admit it, but the truth was that he was right. It would be amazing, freeing, everything she had ever wanted, to be able to just be happy without constantly having to bring up the fact that she could not allow herself to begin to feel connected with anything that might be taken from her every moment. But still, even though she had made that realisation, despite how she had expected for that to be the easy part and that, once she had admitted the truth to herself, it would be simple for her to find the answers. But rather than that happening, it felt almost like every answer she was able to give to herself, able to pretend that she might not have been wrong about it all, only provided another ten questions with the opportunity to appear in front of her, all of them calling for her attention, seeming just as important as any number of soldiers could ever have been before.</p>
<p>Still, no matter how her entire world felt like it had suddenly changed around her, making her unable to tell anything for certain, one thing was still obvious. She had to talk with Zelda.</p>
<p>Midna knew that she could not continue telling herself that she would do it soon, tomorrow, at an unspecified point in time, and yet, that was exactly what she did, letting the days pass by, each one spent trying to convince herself that the reason she hadn’t talked with Zelda was simply due to the fact that she could not find her. Never mind the fact that Midna made sure to leave the general area the moment she even though she spotted the slightest hint of how Zelda’s hair almost seemed to glow in the flames of the candles around them, red, brown, and lighter colours coming together to form what could only be described as beauty, that all had nothing to do with how Midna was currently walking through the corridors, heading towards her ship after having just made a sharp turn to avoid having to come face to face with Zelda after having heard her voice being thrown through the hallway a few metres in front of her. At least the echo in the corridors made sure that she got a warning in advance, making it so that she did not have to constantly worry about whether she would turn around a corner to find herself standing in front of Zelda. Not that it kept her from thinking about it all the same. It was simply a matter of her not feeling ready to apologise yet.</p>
<p>However, the more Midna thought about it, Zelda’s face following her into her nightmares, the more she began to doubt whether she would ever have been able to use a word such as ‘simply’ to describe what happened each time she even thought about going to talk with Zelda, how her heart began to beat faster, her hands becoming clammy, every single word she had ever known seemingly disappearing from her mind, leaving her unable to do anything other than to stammer as she looked into the mirror that hung on the wall of her cabin, almost looking like it was taunting her.</p>
<p>So she had not talked with Zelda yet. Was it the right thing to do, was it a good way to handle her emotions, what Link had meant when he had told her that he wished for her that she could be more like the person she had once been? No, it absolutely was not. But even though Midna had been able to practically feel the question of whether she had talked with Zelda burn on his tongue each time they had talked since that day, he never asked. Really, it would not surprise Midna if he already knew that she had yet to actually make an attempt at following his advice. After all, had there ever been a time where she had been any good at accepting the fact that the people around her wanted to help her? Midna knew what the answer to that question was.</p>
<p>But even then, it was not enough to make her stomach stop feeling like it had been replaced with a stone as she hurried through the hangar, not enough to take her mind off Zelda, making it so that Midna only noticed how Beth came running at the last moment before they would have collided, Beth having seemingly appeared from out of nowhere, to sprint directly in front of her.</p>
<p>“Whoa!” making a sudden jump to the side, Midna was not able to keep back the surprised yelp, already turning around to look over at where Beth had almost fallen, barely catching herself before she would have hit the floor. “Are you all right?”</p>
<p>Beth simply smiled up at her, looking so happy that, had it not been for the fact that Midna had been there to see it, she would not have thought that Beth had just been seconds away from scraping her knees as she nodded. “Yes, I am fine.”</p>
<p>Casting a glance at something behind Midna, Beth had already halfway twirled around again, readying herself to continue to sprint towards the far end of the hangar again.</p>
<p>She should probably have let her do just that, but as Midna looked back over her shoulder and saw how Talo was running towards them, putting on a wide grin as he saw Beth stand right there, her curiosity got the better of her. Turning back towards Beth, Midna made sure to call out after her before she would have moved so far away from her that she would not have heard her. “Hey, Beth, what are you playing? Because if you are going to have to sprint around like this all the time, you might want to take this game somewhere else, somewhere where you will not constantly be about to run into someone.”</p>
<p>It was apparent that Beth was torn between answering and running away. The way she kept looking over at Talo could not have made that more obvious. But in the end, it seemed that she decided to stay, even if Midna was fairly sure that she might just have made her lose the game.</p>
<p>“We are just playing,” Beth mumbled, making some kind of signal to Talo that thankfully made him slow down before he would have crashed into them. Instead, he simply ran over to them, stopping in time to throw an arm around Beth and look up at Midna, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it is this great game that I made up—well Malo helped me, but it was mostly me,” Talo added, clearly not hearing how Beth mumbled something next to him that sounded a lot like ‘I helped as well’, “but if you want to play as well, then you would be more than welcome!”</p>
<p>“That was not exactly what I meant.” Midna laughed, though the sound soon died on her lips as she looked down at them and realised that they had actually meant it, that they had actually been prepared to let her participate in their game, much like she had once looked into the gardens of the rich families in Hateno and wished that their children would see her and invite her to play with them. She could hear how the tears made her voice shake as she tried to make it sound even a little bit more sincere. “Uh, mostly, I was just wondering why you were sprinting around the hangar like you had Skulltulas chasing you.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Talo sent her a look that told her almost everything she needed to hear, how, to him, it might as well have been Skulltulas. Looking incredibly satisfied with himself and the game he had just claimed most of the credit for inventing, Talo began to explain. “Well, you see, Beth was running because she is a rebel and I was the soldier trying to catch her because she had stolen the keys to the dungeon. She has to save Colin. He wasn’t quite as fast as her, so he was captured a while ago.”</p>
<p>Instantly, Midna regretted having ever asked. Sensing how every single part of her felt like it had disappeared, a lifelike replica of every bone, muscle, and organ made of ice having taken its place with how the air around her suddenly felt much colder than it should have, being unnaturally cold even for it being in the middle of winter, Midna forced herself not to let her feelings show, pushing them back down, and away to instead force herself to smile down at them. “Really?” her voice sounded exactly the same as what she felt like, broken, trembling, and desperately trying to hide both of those things, as she continued. “Well, I hope that it is a fun game then.”</p>
<p>“It is!” Beth said, joining the conversation again, nodding her head so enthusiastically that Midna had to restrain herself from telling her that it really was not that fun in real life, that when she was out on the ships, when she was sprinting for her life, the soldiers did not care about whether or not she signalled for them to stop, they would never stop or slow down even a little before they were absolutely certain that they had caught every single one of them. “Especially because I was lucky enough to be you.”</p>
<p>And now they were seemingly also giving her the role of the hero in their game. Although Midna knew that she would find that they were alone in the hangar, she could not supress the urge to cast a glance around the room, almost thinking that Zelda had to be there, that she had to have somehow planned for all of this to happen, telling the children what to say, how to tell her that, in their minds, Midna was the hero. But of course Midna found the room empty, save for herself, Beth, and Talo. There was no sight of Zelda anywhere; it really was not something she had planned.</p>
<p>Somehow that only made it even worse. If she had caught a glimpse of Zelda hiding in the corridors, if she had been able to make Zelda tell her that she had given Talo, Malo, and Beth the idea for the game, Midna would have been able to just brush it off as another instance of Zelda clearly being unable to accept the fact that she was not a hero and would never become one. But now, as she looked down and noted the almost worshipping glances that both Beth and Talo were sending her when they thought she was not looking, Midna could only try her best to fight the way her tongue felt like it had shrivelled up and died, taking all the words into the grave along with it.</p>
<p>“I see,” she mumbled, “so I was just mere seconds away from running directly into myself.”</p>
<p>Beth giggled at that. At least that meant that one of them found the situation funny. But even that was not enough for Midna to cheer herself up as Beth shook her head, clearly not believing what Midna was saying. “No, I am just pretending to be you—I know that I am actually myself.”</p>
<p>“Exactly!” Talo pointed at her. “You aren’t Midna—I am, and I just have to catch you before we will have to change!”</p>
<p>With a wild laugh, he darted forwards, but by then, Beth had already moved away from where she had just stood, spinning around in mid-air to sprint towards the corridor leading to the dining hall, and this time, Midna did not attempt to stop her. If they would burst through the doors in a rush of laughter, screams and running madly past the rows of tables and chairs, then that was not her problem. Her problem, on the other hand, was the fact that she could not stop thinking about what they had said, the way they had pretended to be her, the way Beth had said it like it was a good thing, all of the children seemingly agreeing that life as a pirate was fun. No, as Midna found her feet carrying her almost without her thinking about it, taking her towards the kitchens, she had to admit that they were not just pirates. Neither Beth nor Talo had mentioned anything about Beth having stolen anything. They had been rebels, and although Midna forced herself not to think about it, it did not take a genius to figure out just what role Colin had got in their game.</p>
<p>With all those thoughts whirling through her head, was it really any wonder that Midna found herself almost gasping for air as she stood in front of the door leading into the kitchen, having sprinted the last half of the way, trying her best not to cry? She wanted to think that it was, wanted to believe that all of this, the last couple of months had all just been her suddenly losing control, just her having been a little bit more tired than she usually was, but even then, she could almost taste the lie in the thought, feel how she did not even believe it herself as she pushed upon the door and stepped into the kitchen.</p>
<p>Uli turned around the moment she heard her, already smiling at her, though it was soon replaced with concern as Midna had barely made it a step into the room before she began to cry, completely losing what little control she had had left.</p>
<p>“Midna!” as Uli hurried over to her, it felt like her voice was coming from somewhere far away, Midna not able to focus on anything other than the fact that she pulled her into a hug that felt exactly the way a hug from a mother should feel, warm and safe. “What is wrong? Has anything happened?”</p>
<p>She considered telling her, simply sharing the fact that the children had turned the missions and the constant danger of knowing that the king might figure out just where they were any second into a game. But no matter how many times Midna tried to open her mouth and force out the words, she could bring herself to actually say it. She simply could not tell Uli that in the game Talo insisted he deserved most of the credit for creating, her son had just suffered the same fate as her husband. She couldn’t.</p>
<p>But that did not change the fact that she had to say something and that she had to say something soon. That much could hardly have been more obvious as Uli looked at her, the crease between her brows becoming a little bit deeper with each second that passed between them without Midna saying anything.</p>
<p>“I—” her gaze settled on Uli’s stomach, and in that second, Midna knew exactly what she had really wanted to say when she had first set out to find her, the words feeling almost like they came out her without Midna even having to think about it. “Uli… if I thought that I could do more, if there was even the slightest chance that I would be able to go against the king... would you want me to do it?”</p>
<p>“I am afraid I don’t understand what you mean.” but even though Uli might try her best to claim that she did not understand what she meant, as Midna looked into her eyes, she could see how that really was not the case, the sparkle that met her gaze the moment the words had left her mouth.</p>
<p>Still, if Uli wanted for her to explain exactly what she was thinking, then Midna would do it. She owed that much to Colin. “I was just thinking… with how it seems like Zelda is not the only person in here who thinks that I might be able to become some kind of rebel, that I might be able to change the world by standing up and letting the people know that I do not support the king, I just could not help but wonder if they might have been right all along, if I should do more, try to help even more people. I mean, with everything that has happened lately, I can’t help but feel like it would be what Rusl would have wanted for me to do.”</p>
<p>Midna did her best not to look towards Uli’s stomach, but, clearly, she had not been able to hide the glance as well as she had hoped she would, for Uli placed her hand on top of the bump before she looked back over at her.</p>
<p>“Listen, my husband did what he did to save you. Nothing else. He did not save you because he hoped that his death would make you feel obligated to put yourself in danger like that. Everything he ever did, he did to protect his family.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but—”</p>
<p>Uli did not even give her the chance to finish the sentence, having already continued. “Besides, the only reason he was even able to do that was because you had saved his life in the first place. Had it not been for you and Link, none of us would be here. No one can ask anything of you that you do not want to do.”</p>
<p>“I know.” but as Midna bowed her head, she could not help but wonder whether that was really the truth, if she really did know that after all. “But it’s just… I can’t help but think…”</p>
<p>“That you might be able to do more?” Uli finished the sentence for her. As Midna looked back over at her, she smiled up at her, seemingly unfazed by her surprised expression. “Midna, you are not the only one who asks herself that from time to time. Don’t you think I wonder if we might have been able to save Ordon Village back then if we had only acted differently? I know for a fact that Rusl kept wondering if we might have been able to save everyone if we had only known that the king would attack that day. Still, that does not change what really happened, that we had no idea that the king would decide to punish the entire village for a minor mistake, that we had not known, that we had been too far away from the village to make it back in time to warn anyone when we saw the airships.”</p>
<p>There was something there, something in her story, that kept on echoing inside Midna’s head, something that she did not understand fully. Looking up, hoping that Uli would not feel insulted by the question, Midna tilted her head to the side. “Uli, what do you mean that Ganondorf punished the village for a minor mistake? I thought that it was because you weren’t able to provide enough food for the army, that the harvest had failed.”</p>
<p>Uli only sent her a sad smile, the gesture completely devoid of the warmth that should have been there. “That was also what I tried to tell myself for the longest time, Midna. But when you brought Grog, Cremia, and Romani back here, when they talked about how Ganondorf had tried to take their ranch after they had failed to pay their taxes, I knew that everything about that had just been me trying to lie to myself and Rusl. Truth to be told, my husband… we both had a habit of questioning the legitimacy of Ganondorf’s rule.” Midna must have looked exactly as shocked as she felt, for Uli chuckled. “Yes, I know, we should have been wiser. But back then, it felt like we might be able to change the world if we only discussed how we wanted it to look for long enough. And I suppose that we must not have been careful enough, that someone must have overheard and told the king, making him decide that he could not leave us alive, that destroying an entire village would be the price he was willing to pay to ensure that we would not be able to convince anyone to stand with us, to openly oppose him.”</p>
<p>“So…” her mind felt like it was about to give up, her thoughts whirling around inside her head as she fought to make sense of it all, but Midna could not allow herself to stop now, not when she was so close to getting answers to her questions, “so you are telling me that, despite the fact that all your talk about changing the world was never able to actually change anything, despite the fact that it cost you your home and much of your village, you would still be willing to help me should I choose to do the same thing.”</p>
<p>“There is a difference between talking about changing the world and actually doing something to achieve these changes.” Uli took a step forwards, and when Midna remained silent, she looked up at her, the look in her eyes seeming so intense that Midna had to look away, unable to look directly at her. “Midna, I need you to understand that I will always support you. No matter what you choose to do, I will support you and try to do my best to ensure that the plan will end up working. It is what Rusl would have wanted, so I will try my best to make his dreams become reality.”</p>
<p>“And if I decide that I would rather stay here and let the rest of the world fend for itself?”</p>
<p>“Then I will do the same and hope that you will not regret it.”</p>
<p>She was crying. Midna could tell that much, simply from the way she was struggling to breathe as Uli pulled her closer towards her, letting her cry into her shoulder. It felt like it lasted for ages, and yet, like barely a second had passed when she looked at Uli and tried not to think about the look of pure concern she could see in her eyes. “So will I. I just… I need some time to figure out which choice has the smallest risk of me coming to regret my actions.”</p>
<p>Patting her back, Uli simply smiled at her. “Take your time, dear. I will be right here for you once you know what to do, and I am sure that your friends will be as well.”</p>
<p>The image of how Ilia had fought to keep back the tears as she had left the hangar, Midna having made her leave with nothing but her harsh words, appeared in her mind, making her stomach ache, sending sharp tendrils of pain out from her heart. Midna wanted to believe that Uli might be right, as unlikely as it felt right then, but even then, it would not have felt right for her to begin to hope for that.</p>
<p>So instead, she shrugged, hoping that it would be enough to not make Uli notice what she was thinking about. “Yes, I hope that you are right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Midna barely got a day to try to weigh the costs of actually doing something, the risk that she might be captured and made to tell the location of the base, against the fact that she was not naïve enough to believe that Grog, Cremia, and Romani were the only people in the two kingdoms who had had to flee their home after having somehow done something that had convinced the king that he would need to take everything they had ever owned to teach them a lesson about obeying his every whim.</p>
<p>As she returned to her cabin that Saturday, trying her best to rub some warmth into her icy hands after having spent most of the days in the forest outside, having somehow convinced Uli that she would look for animals, the lie having felt a little less bitter on her tongue as she had told herself that she was only telling it to get a bit of time away from the rest of the base, a chance to figure out what she would have to do, Midna should perhaps have noticed the signs that there would be someone waiting for her. The door was not closed completely, the key clearly not having been twisted all the way, making the lock rattle a bit as Midna unlocked it, and the light coming from within the cabin had been visible from the other end of the hangar. But as she pushed open the door, Midna was too busy with her own thoughts to do much more than just recognise the fact that she had evidently been quite tired the last time she had entered her cabin with how she had forgot about all that.</p>
<p>So when she entered the room, halfway about to collapse onto her bed, only to find Zelda sitting there, Midna froze, suddenly unable to do anything other than to stare at Zelda.</p>
<p>With how she was sitting in the chair, ankles crossed and facing the door, it could not have been more obvious that she had been waiting for her, that she had seemingly been waiting for her for quite a while.</p>
<p>The suspicion was soon confirmed as Zelda pushed herself up from the chair and took a step towards Midna. “Hello,” she said, an unsure smile tucking at the corners of her lips.</p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” already the moment after she had asked the question, Midna knew that it had been the wrong thing to say. She would have known that even if Zelda did not immediately responded by averting her gaze, her smile disappearing in an instant. She could have yelled at herself, but, given how she doubted it would have done anything to help her now, Midna instead forced herself to stand still. At least she would not be able to let her temper get the better of her that way.</p>
<p>“I convinced Link to let me into your room,” Zelda finally said, the look she sent Midna letting her know how she was beginning to doubt that decision, “since you had avoided me. I thought that—I thought that maybe, if we just got the chance to talk with each other, then maybe… we could try to figure out what has happened between us lately.” she gestured towards the air between them, her shaky hands making sure that Midna knew how it was just as much a way for her to remind herself of why she should not just leave the room immediately as it was an explanation.</p>
<p>And, somehow, Midna must have been able to, for a moment, supress her instinct to make any situation worse, for as she opened her mouth, her voice sounded so calm that she almost doubted that it was really hers. “That sounds like a great idea.” trying to ignore how joy and surprised flickered across Zelda’s face, Midna pulled the other chair away from her desk, placing it so that she was sitting across from Zelda. “I—I must admit that while I cannot deny the fact that I have indeed been doing my best to avoid you, I really wanted to talk with you, I simply didn’t know what to say. But I know that I have to apolo—”</p>
<p>“Stop.” Zelda interrupted her before she got the chance to finish the sentence, Midna obeying instantly, too surprised at the fact that Zelda had just stopped her to say anything, a fact that gave Zelda enough time to lean forward, moving closer to her, as she reached out towards her, grabbing her hand, before she continued. “Midna, you don’t have to apologise.”</p>
<p>“But I told Cremia—”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Zelda shrugged. “You made it so that I had to tell Cremia about how I was the princess. I would have had to tell her that anyway. Don’t get me wrong—I was angry for a couple of days, but now? I don’t mind too much.”</p>
<p>“You should.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. But I don’t, so what does it matter? So what if I should be angry, fact is that I am not. Instead, I must admit that I am quite curious about something.”</p>
<p>“What is it?” Midna asked, although the feeling of butterflies in her stomach told her that she already knew what the answer might be.</p>
<p>Zelda confirmed that feeling only a few seconds later as she tightened her grip around her hand, almost like she was afraid that Midna would stand up and try to flee, to run away from her and her questions. Midna supposed that she was not exactly in a position to fault her for that; when all was said and done she did have a reason to fear that happening.</p>
<p>But maybe the fact that she had not begun to move yet was enough to calm Zelda a bit, for she did smile a little as she leant back in her chair again. “Midna, when you made the decision to go out to help Cremia and Romani, I couldn’t help but wonder why. I mean, I know that you will probably tell me that you did it because you made a hasty promise to Grog, promising that you would help him, but fact is that I don’t believe that would ever make a promise like that to someone without being prepared to do your best to keep it. And that is not even to mention the fact that you let me stay here. You knew exactly who I was, but you still made sure to escort me to your cabin without anyone seeing me even though you could have told anyone from your crew about me and they would surely have insisted that you had no choice but to leave me to not risk the safety of the base. So I suppose that my question is this: why did you help me? Why did you help everyone in this base, while continuing to claim that you are not interested in helping people?”</p>
<p>The silence settled between them, loud and uncomfortable. A single glance over at Zelda was enough to show how she was clearly not intending to change that anytime soon with how she had crossed her arms in front of her, a gesture that might have seemed dismissive had it not been for the fact that she smiled over at Midna, keeping the smile every bit as brilliant and warm as it had first been, even as the seconds continued to pass between them, Midna remaining quiet.</p>
<p>It would have been so easy to tell Zelda that she did not know the answer. That, or simply informing her that she was not entitled to know anything about Midna, pretending that the reason she was shaking slightly was that she was angry rather than admitting that the truth really was the she did not know what to do, what to say. More than anything, she wanted to just tell her, not only to ensure that Zelda would never ask again, but also to know that she had told her, but even as Midna tried to open her mouth, she found that she could not find the words.</p>
<p>“I…” she mumbled, pausing, her mouth opening and closing repeatedly as she tried to think of a way to continue the sentence. She must look like one of the fish she would sometimes catch in the lake in summer, but at least Zelda did not laugh.</p>
<p>In fact, even as the seconds passed between them, Zelda remained just as serious, calm, and collected as she had been when Midna had first entered the room.</p>
<p>In the end, maybe that was what made her able to continue, gave Midna the strength to look directly at Zelda and tell her the truth, kicking all thoughts of what would then happen afterwards to the side. “I know that thinking yourself capable of actually changing the world, believing that you are able to save everyone, will only end up leading to the death of yourself and all the people you had convinced that your plan was good. So I can save individual people, I could land the ship and offer the people from Ordon Village a way out, I could go out to help find Cremia and Romani in time. But if I would allow myself to think that I could save everyone; it would be the same thing as signing the death warrant of not only myself, but also everyone else in the base as well.”</p>
<p>“You can’t know that for certain.” Zelda’s voice was low as she moved out of her chair, crossing the distance between them to kneel down next to Midna, placing her hand on her knee. “Until we have actually tried it, we will not be able to know what will happen if we stand up against him.”</p>
<p>“Exactly.” Midna smiled at her, and for once, Zelda was not able to keep up the perfect façade, instead allowing the surprise to slip through. “I only know what will happen if I allow myself to believe that your plan will work because I have seen it before. I know what happens when a group of people find each other, all of them united by their belief that they are going to change the world, that there is anything they can do to bring an end to the injustices they are facing.”</p>
<p>“What... what do you mean?” but Zelda’s voice rose towards the end of the question, informing Midna that, despite her naïveté, Zelda was not stupid, far from it. She was already connecting the dots, trying to bridge the conversations they had shared, everything she knew about Midna to be able to reach the conclusion, moving past those last few questions.</p>
<p>Midna only had to help her, to show her the way, and for once, she was looking forward to doing just that.</p>
<p>“Zelda, do you really think that it is an awfully improbable coincidence that this ship bears the crest of the royal family of the Twilight Realm and that we are living in one of the fortress meant to house the same royal family?” Midna did not wait to hear Zelda’s answer, nor did she have to. The way Zelda’s eyes widened told her the answer on its own. “After all the other lies Ganondorf has told about the way he assumed control of the Twilight Realm, telling the people that their queen has died, that she was killed by her own people—it all seems like a tiny lie, doesn’t it, especially when you consider how much he could win if he was able to convince even a single person that he was telling the truth, that he had come to help them, arriving with the intentions of saving them from their own corrupt government, from the people who had tried to overthrow the queen, conveniently forgetting to mention the fact that he was the one to organise the attack, the person to give the order for his soldiers to kill the queen.”</p>
<p>“So the queen might still be alive?” Zelda frowned, clearly asking herself the exact question Midna would have expected to hear from her. “Is that what you are saying? I just cannot see how that can be the case—after all these years, I refuse to believe that she would not have tried to tell people about how Ganondorf lied to everyone. She would have tried to fight back.”</p>
<p>“She did. She survived for a few years. From what I understood, she and a few of the servants who had been loyal and lucky enough to have escaped with her when the soldiers began their attack on the palace lived with a few of their supporters, moving around the country in the ship they had been able to reach in the hangars before the soldiers had made sure to close that escape route. She had a daughter, whom she left with her servants, telling them that she would have to do more, that now that she had secured the line of succession, she would be able to take the risk and reveal the fact that she was still alive to the world.”</p>
<p>“What happened then?” Zelda’s voice shook slightly. She already knew the answer to her question.</p>
<p>Once, Midna would have found a great sense of joy in the fact that she was able to give the answer to her, but now, she just felt empty, hollow, as she shook her head. “She died. Of course she did. Ganondorf—he may not be the rightful king of the Twilight Realm, but he was still frightfully good at knowing exactly whom he had to keep under near constant surveillance, so of course he knew it the moment the queen arrived to their house, planning to inform a number of trusted people of her existence. He sent one of his own soldiers out there, planted them in the crowd she had planned to give a speech to, or at least that it what I heard. And given how no one escaped, it seems likely, especially considering the fact that all the articles I was able to find that would even mention the incident only referred to it as yet another sign of the corruption that had led to the supposed coup d’état.”</p>
<p>“But her daughter—she would be the heir to the throne, wouldn’t she?” Zelda’s eyes lit up, but even then, her gaze still flickered over Midna’s face, almost like she might have realised the truth, figuring out what connection there was between the ship, the base, and now the story of the late queen, and was only waiting for Midna to confirm it as well.</p>
<p>“She would indeed. Not only would she perhaps be able to make some of her mother’s supporters join her cause as well, she would also be able to name herself the Twilight Princess without lying.” Midna shrugged. “But given how she was only raised by her mother’s servants for the first five years of her life before they decided to follow their queen, somehow believing that they would be able to finish what she started, making sure that her death would not have been for nothing, leaving the princess alone in the ship that had been their home ever since the supporters had begun to question whether or not they would ever be able to change anything at all, promising her that they would be back in a couple of weeks, only to never return, she would not exactly be a good candidate for the throne.”</p>
<p>“But she exists?”</p>
<p>“Considering the fact that she is sitting right in front of you right now, I would say that, yes, she does indeed exist.”</p>
<p>Despite how Zelda had clearly already known the truth, the effect of Midna’s words were still clear, Zelda opening her mouth, letting out a tiny, barely audible gasp.</p>
<p>“You—” she tightened her grip around Midna’s arm, not nearly enough for it to hurt, but more than enough for Midna to know that she was trying her best to force her mind to stay in the moment, for it not to give up on trying to understand the just how far the consequences would be able to reach if anyone ever were to know about the truth, “you, you are….”</p>
<p>“The princess?” Midna finished the word for her, not even bothering to hide how she almost spit out the word, making it sound just like the swearword it sounded like to her ears. “If all that is required to be a princess is for your mother to have been the queen, then, yes, I am the princess. However, if you think that being a princess requires any knowledge about politics, geography, history, anything other than how to dive off the side of a ship and justify the fact that you are stealing by convincing yourself that you are only taking what is rightfully yours, making yourself ignore the fact that you are harming your country even more by cutting off the trade routes in and out of it, then I suppose you might have to think twice before claiming that I might be a princess.”</p>
<p>“But, Midna,” Zelda said as she moved towards her, placing her arm on the armrest to not fall over as she leant in so closely that there could not have been more than a few centimetres between them, making it so that Midna in that moment could not have been more aware of the fact that Zelda’s hair was brushing against her cheek, “you are the princess. I get that you would not be able to actually rule a country, but you cannot deny that you being a princess will hold a lot of symbolic significance, even more so than you being the hero who had arrived at the last moment to save the residents of Ordon Village as well as two sisters and a man who had been targeted by the king simply because they had been unfortunate. It could change everything; all the people who were ready to follow your mother, to trust her—I am certain that if you only let them know that you are alive, they will follow you as well.”</p>
<p>Midna let out a dry laugh. “Yeah? But how do you plan for me to prove that?”</p>
<p>That little part, the fact that she did not have any way to prove that she was not making everything up seemed to work on Zelda, making her smile falter for a bit. However, it had the exact opposite effect on Midna. For while she was still convinced that Zelda’s plans and ideas for how they could just place Midna in front of a crowd and then hope that the fact that they had once believed in a queen who had disappeared almost thirty years ago would be enough to make them trust her were naïve to an extent where it became foolish, Midna could not deny the fact that there had to be a way she would be able to prove the connection between herself and the late queen. After all, it had only required a single glance for the maid to recognise her despite the lack of proper lightning and the fact that she had surely thought her to simply be yet another thief at first.</p>
<p>But seeing as Midna was not exactly trying to give Zelda any more arguments, she decided not to mention it, instead hoping that by reminding Zelda of the even more likely risks they would accept not only for themselves but for the entire base if they followed Zelda’s plans she might be able to bring it all to an end.</p>
<p>And so, Midna once more found the words to continue. “Besides, I know what will happen to the people who are blind enough to just believe that they can bring back their queen. It was what the people who raised me believed, they truly thought that if they just searched enough, they would find a way to overthrow the king and show the entire world what had really happened, and do you want to know where that led them to?” Midna did not wait for Zelda to respond. It didn’t matter, not when she had to hear it. “It made them tell me to stay on the ship, leaving a little girl alone in the forest with the orders to remain where she was and wait for them to return. Had it not been for the fact that my hunger soon grew stronger than my fear of what would happen if I decided to go against their orders, I would have starved to death out there. That, or the winter would have killed me, seeing as I still wasn’t able to make myself burn the last bit of coal, instead keeping it in a box, hoping that I would one day get to use it in the firebox so that I could fly away from the village. And do you know what happened, do you want to know if they ever returned?”</p>
<p>“You said they didn’t,” Zelda said, her voice sounding incredibly thin, almost like she did not want to hear herself say it.</p>
<p>Despite how it would have been so easy to focus on all the anger, fear, and hurt that came back along with the memories, as Midna looked over at Zelda and saw how her eyes had grown shiny, Zelda coming closer and closer to crying with each second, she could almost feel herself grow soft, feel how her voice became less harsh as she too tightened her grip on Zelda’s hand, barely resisting the urge to tuck the strand of Zelda’s hair that kept tickling her back in place behind her ear as she nodded. “That is correct. They never returned. I went into the village, learnt how to steal what I needed to survive, and, in only a couple of months, I had met Link.” Midna waited for a reaction, gave Zelda a moment to try to hide the surprise.</p>
<p>When it did not come, when Zelda continued to look just as distraught as she had seemed before, Midna did not have to ask to know the reasons for it. Link would never have told her. There might be things that he would tell, there might be instances where Link would make the decision to inform the people around her of what was wrong, but not when it was about their past, she knew that much. When Zelda did not react, it was not because she had known in advance, a fact Midna tried to cling onto as she continued. “We left the village the moment we were somewhat sure that we had gathered enough food to last us for a few weeks. And do you know what we did then? We tried to create a new life. We found this base, we figured out where the last fortress that Ganondorf had not been able to find yet was located. We offered Uli, Rusl, Ilia, Colin, everyone to come along with us. And, although I cannot tell you Link’s reasons for doing so, I can tell you that I never did any of it because I was planning to return to the throne, to let the world see that I was alive, that the queen had left an heir to the throne and that this heir had now come home. I created a family, a family I will do everything to protect. Ganondorf might have taken everything from me, my past, my home, and my mother, but this is something I will never risk, not even if it might save the rest of the world.”</p>
<p>She had expected for Zelda to be quiet after that, thought that she would not be able to argue with that. After all, was that not what had stopped Midna from ever entertaining the idea of her perhaps being able to use the title she should have had, the one she had thrown in Zelda’s face, every time it had begun to appear tempting, the fact that it would endanger everyone around her? But then again, Midna should have known that Zelda was never able to accept defeat, that she was always prepared to place herself in danger, no matter how foolish it seemed. By all means, Midna should not have been surprised when Zelda looked up at her, only pausing for a moment to wipe away the tears, the water looking almost like a fire was burning in her eyes as it disappeared, and yet, she was.</p>
<p>“I will get it all back for you,” Zelda said, “I promise you that if you simply give me the chance, I will make sure that you will get all of this back.”</p>
<p>And of course that was what Zelda would say. Of course she would make promises they both knew that she would not be able to keep. Midna should not have expected anything different from her, not with how Zelda had always been so full of an idealistic sense of justice.</p>
<p>But now was the moment where Midna knew that she would have to make sure that it would not lead Zelda to a situation where Midna would not be able to save her. So, even though Zelda seemed almost magnetic, luring her in with the promise of regaining everything that had been lost, the idea that Midna might be able to save everyone, that she might bring an end to the times she looked over the edge of the Shadow and saw the remains of what had once been a village, the ruins leaving them with only the puzzle of just what had happened, what reason the king had given for the decision that everyone there had deserved to die, Midna forced herself to look away, moving her head away from Zelda’s.</p>
<p>“And that is kind of you. Truly, Zelda, I mean it. It is righteous, it is courageous, and it is kind. Which makes it exactly the kind of behaviour that is going to get you killed one day.”</p>
<p>Zelda drew back, acting almost like Midna’s words had been knives. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>The guilt of knowing that, even though she had tried her best to avoid just that, she had still made Zelda pull away from her might once have tried to rip apart Midna’s decision not to allow Zelda to place herself in that kind of danger, but she forced herself to remain cold. It was too important that Zelda understood just why Midna could not tell her that she was grateful for the promise, no matter how much she might have wanted to tell her just that. Instead, she had to look over at Zelda and see how she looked up at her with wide eyes, only to force herself to continue with the full knowledge of how her words were affecting Zelda. “Just that. It is going to get you killed. Look, Zelda, after everything you have seen, after what I have told you about how Ganondorf treats his enemies and those who oppose him, do you really think that the fact that the two of you are related is going to save you? When he has Zant, when he knows that you are only the second person in line to the throne, do you think that your status as a princess will be enough to keep you safe? Because, as much as I would like to believe you, I am not naïve enough to think that you would be able to return home and talk about how you want to make sure that justice will be given to those who need it and that you wish to give the Twilight Realm back to those who had once been supposed to sit on the throne, not without it having consequences for you.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps, but I have told you that I will not ever return home to Hyrule Castle!” by now, Zelda had risen, and as she stood next to the chair, she was a few centimetres taller than Midna, the anger that soon came to replace the hurt in her eyes making her appear even taller as Midna looked up at her. “You promised me that you would never send me home! You promised me that much, Midna, and yet you sit here, talking about the way I will return home, acting like it is some inevitable truth.”</p>
<p>“It is. I wish that I could tell you that it is not. There is nothing I would love more than to assure you that you will be able to stay here with me forever, but, Zelda, even you must be able to admit that it is not possible. Sooner or later, you will tire of sitting around here, doing nothing to make all of your great plans to improve the lives of the people around you become a reality, and when that happens, I will be the first person to argue that we can trust you enough to let you return home even though you know the location of this base.” even thinking about the fact that that day would arrive hurt; putting it into words only made it feel even more real, making it feel almost like her throat should have begun bleeding.</p>
<p>It would appear that, if nothing else, Zelda could agree with her on that, for the moment the words had left Midna’s mouth, all the anger in Zelda’s eyes almost seemed to evaporate as she shook her head, grabbing Midna’s arm. “Never! I am never going to do that; I will stay here with you forever!”</p>
<p>Some part of Midna, the same kind of hopeful belief in the future that had made her wait for so long in the forest, wanted to cling to every single one of her words, wanted to nod and agree that they would stay together for the rest of their lives, but she knew that she would be lying to both of them if she did that, a fact that forced her to shake her head. “Then you will be forced to leave once the king’s soldiers finds us.” slowly forcing Zelda to let go of her, making sure that she did not use too much force as she pulled Zelda’s hands away from her, Midna could hear how her voice gave away the fact that, more than anything, she wanted to cry as she added. “I know that you mean well, but you will simply have to accept that this is not going to end like you want it to do. I am certain that you must have grown up with tales of brave knights who set out to save the princess from a dragon, but this will not be like that. I am not a princess, I have never been one, your father is not some just some unintelligent dragon, he knows exactly what he is doing, how he will have to act to achieve his goals. And although you, with all of your ideals and courage might have the qualities that would make you able to qualify as a knight, you will not be able to win when you are fighting against impossible odds. Now, I will have to ask you to leave. It has been a rough day for me, and I have to sleep now if I want to be able to function tomorrow.”</p>
<p>For once, Zelda actually did as she said. The shock of that was almost enough to make Midna regret having told her to leave, almost enough to make her reach out and beg Zelda to stay, but she remained strong, watching as Zelda made her way over to the door.</p>
<p>There, she stopped, turning around to look back at her, a small sigh escaping her as she opened her mouth. “Midna, I know that you don’t believe in any of my plans,” she said, speaking so slowly that Midna could almost feel the pull, the urge to yell at her that she wanted to believe more than anything else, “but, no matter what you think I should do, I can tell you right now that I am not giving up on you.”</p>
<p>Without giving Midna the chance to respond, Zelda left the cabin, closing the door behind her. And maybe that was for the better, for in that moment, Midna knew that she would not be strong enough not to tell Zelda just how grateful she was for that.</p>
<p>But, seeing as Zelda had left and she barely had enough energy to not simply fall asleep right then and there, Midna knew that she would not be able to run after her to tell her that. So instead, she pushed herself up from the chair.</p>
<p>Midna barely made it over to her bed before her legs gave out, letting her fall directly down onto the soft bedsheets, letting the quilt bid her welcome as she finally was able to find sleep</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She should have slept for ages. With how tired she was, Midna should easily have been able to sleep through the night and most of the following day. But although her mind was exhausted, it felt almost like her body had not been told about any of that, for when Midna opened her eyes again, finding herself looking directly up at the ceiling above her where a few planks separated her from the firebox above her, the warmth it emitted fighting to keep the icy chill of winter from killing her during the night, she could not make herself find her way back into sleep.</p>
<p>It did not take long before she knew that she would not be able to remain like this, looking directly up and trying her best to keep the thoughts of how she had wanted to let Zelda help her, had wanted to give in to the temptation of believing that Zelda might be able to change anything with the power of her conviction in her belief that the future might become better if they just fought to make it a reality, at bay.</p>
<p>The floor was cold beneath her feet even as Midna put on her boots, the air around her feeling just as icy when she threw a quilt around her shoulders like a shawl, but it would have taken more than just her clattering teeth to keep her in her bed right then. As she left the cabin, making sure to close the door properly behind her, finding herself standing in the hangar with nothing but the pale light from the moon to guide her, Midna might almost have believed that it was the first time it had ever happened, that she had never found herself struggling to sleep before. No amounts of trying to tell herself that that was not the case was enough to completely dispel the feeling of being watched, a fact that made her duck her head, almost like the spirits of the servants might have come back to haunt her, following her to try to make her feel bad for how she had not been prepared to risk everything to continue what they had done.</p>
<p>And then Midna turned around, away from the door and the slightly warmer air her cabin could offer her, only to barely manage to catch the scream that had been about to make its way up her throat, instead letting it escape as a low gasp. “Zelda?”</p>
<p>Standing there, just a few metres away from her with the moonlight hitting her face, Zelda looked almost like a ghost, the same melancholic smile on her face that Midna would have expected to see in a spirit. But at least, she smiled a little brighter as Midna stepped towards her, stayed there rather than turning around and walking away from her the way Midna had almost expected for her to do.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Zelda whispered, “it’s me.”</p>
<p>“Uh.” Midna paused, at once not sure of what to say and knowing that she had to say something. “Are you not cold?”</p>
<p>“No.” Zelda turned to look at the wall to their right. “No, I am not.”</p>
<p>“Tired, then?”</p>
<p>“I thought I would be, but my thoughts…” Zelda gestured towards her head.</p>
<p>“They won’t allow for you to relax?” Midna finished for her. When Zelda sent her a surprised glance, she chuckled darkly. “It is the same for me. I have tried and tried, but I just can’t sleep anymore.”</p>
<p>“Me neither.”</p>
<p>They fell silent after that. As Midna began to fiddle with the quilt, her hands begging for something she could use to distract herself, she was only waiting for Zelda to say something, to provide her with a way out of the awkward silence that had come to rest between them. But as the seconds passed, becoming minutes, and Zelda continued to look over towards the wall, almost like she was able to see something that Midna could not, it became increasingly obvious that if Midna wanted to make sure the silence would disappear, she would have to make it. So that was exactly what she did.</p>
<p>Stepping forwards, already having to fight back the feeling that she was about to make a mistake, Midna stuck her hand out from underneath the quilt. “Come,” she said, as Zelda turned to look back over at her, sending her a questioning glance, “there is something I want to show you.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she was sure that Zelda would demand to receive more information. That, or that she would simply tell her that she did not want to leave the ship now, not when they should be lying in their beds, sleeping, right in that moment. But then Zelda moved, taking a step forward, the little movement bridging the last centimetres of the gap between them as she took Midna’s hand. “All right, then,” Zelda said with a smile, “show me.”</p>
<p>The base was quiet around them as Midna led her towards the corridor in the back of the hangar. Although it was right there, just as obvious as every other corridor, it felt almost like it had been placed there almost as a way to hide it, an attempt at keeping the reward that had awaited Midna the first time she had made her way through the twisted hallways and reached the ladder at the end secret, and as she walked along the dark twist and turns with Zelda, only pausing for a moment to grab a candle to make sure that they would not become lost in the darkness as the faint light from the moon disappeared behind them, unable to follow them into the corridor, Midna was not sure if she could blame the fact that she was shivering on the cold stone around her. Walking in a heavy silence that was only interrupted once as Zelda tripped over an lose stone in the floor, almost falling to the floor before Midna was able to react, barely having time to move the candle out of the way to catch her, it could have been caused by so many other things.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Zelda whispered as Midna helped her back up, “that was a bit too close for my liking.”</p>
<p>“That, we can agree on.” but although Midna tried to laugh it off, she could feel how the easy atmosphere around them had changed, Zelda hesitating for a moment before letting go of her hand.</p>
<p>They walked the rest of the way in silence, Midna no longer daring to reach out to offer Zelda to hold her hand. It was just darkness, the absence of the bright light from the sun. Both she and Zelda would be fine, even if the flickering light from the flame of the candle cast shadows onto the walls around her, making it seem almost like the night had come alive.</p>
<p>Finally, Midna felt the cold breeze on her skin, letting her know that they had reached their goal.</p>
<p>Turning around towards Zelda, she gestured towards the ladder in front of them. “This will take us outside,” she said, trying her best to keep her voice down. There was nothing to fear, but it did not keep her heart from beating madly in her chest all the same as Zelda leant to the side to follow the line her gesture had drawn, “we will not be able to take the candle with us, so try your best to be careful when you climb up. The fall shouldn’t be too long, but still—try to be careful.” she did not wait for Zelda’s reaction, having already turned around to place the candle in the little hole in the wall, making sure that it would be safe from the draught. The last thing she would need once they would get back inside would be to be met with the unpleasant surprise that they would have to make their way back to the hangar without a light to guide them.</p>
<p>Zelda was still standing there, her face bathed in shadows, when Midna looked back.</p>
<p>“Do you want to climb first?” Midna nodded towards the ladder that led up through the little hole where the faint lightning from above showed them how it would take them outside. “I cannot promise you anything, but if you fall while I am beneath you, there might be a chance that I would be able to slow your fall.”</p>
<p>“No…” Zelda shook her head, but even then, it was apparent that it was not the risk of falling that was keeping her from simply beginning to climb, “that isn’t what I am worried about.”</p>
<p>“Then what is?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” before Midna got the chance to ask for her to clarify, to explain what that meant, Zelda had shot her a bright smile that did not quite reach her eyes. “But, yes, if you really think it might be safer to climb first, then I will just be grateful you told me about it now, rather than after you had volunteered to climb first.” and, without another word to Midna, Zelda turned to face the ladder, already beginning to climb upwards when Midna had realised what was happening.</p>
<p>With a smile to herself, Midna followed along. Despite the fact that she could not remember having ever seen Zelda climb more than the few steps of the rope ladder when she had had to get on and off the ship, Midna barely had to wait for her, and before long, the little gasp, impressed and overwhelmed, told her that Zelda had reached the top of the ladder, allowing her to poke her head out of the little trapdoor that was able to separate the base from the outside. Moments later, Midna joined her in the little watchtower, her muscles in her arms straining for a moment as she lifted herself out of the hole, dragging her legs up along with her to go to sit next to Zelda.</p>
<p>In front of them, the forest almost seemed to stretch on for eternity, small and insignificant from their spot on top of the mountain. In that moment, Midna would not have found it difficult to believe that it was all just something she was imagining, that she was still asleep and that this, the fact that she had invited Zelda to come along, having walked through the corridors and climbed up the stairs, might all be nothing more than a dream. But if that was the case, Midna would not mind. This was nothing like her usual dreams; there was none of the horror and pain of her mother telling her that she had wished differently for her, that she had failed her and the Twilight Realm the moment she had decided that her own safety was more important than her name. No, if this was a dream, then Midna was not in a hurry to wake up.</p>
<p>As Zelda moved over to sit a little bit closer to her, the two of them sitting right next to the low handrail that would barely have been enough to keep them from falling off if anything happened, swinging their legs back and forth, it almost seemed like it should have been a dream.</p>
<p>“Is this….” Zelda spoke slowly, almost like she too was sensing how it should not have been possible for them to sit like this, giving off the impression that she was keeping her voice low because she feared that even the slightest disturbance of the peace around them would be enough to force one of them to wake up, “is this were you go when you can’t sleep?”</p>
<p>“No.” Midna had intended to let it end at that. She did not owe Zelda any kind of explanation after all, but she could almost feel how the words were bubbling in her chest, rising up, making her continue. “I did once, but that was when I was younger. But then I realised that I would only risk making myself sick by going up here when it was cold. That, and also the fact that it is a risk to open up the hatch, not to mention the fact that, if anyone were to see us sitting here, we would have given away the location of the base just like that.”</p>
<p>Zelda was silent for a while after that, allowing the calm of the night to rest between them once more, only interrupted by the thud of the heels of her boots hitting the stones of the watchtower. “Well, in that case,” Zelda finally said, “I am glad that you showed me this.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, so am I.” Midna was not sure if Zelda had been able to hear her, nor did she know if she wanted her to. But, for a moment unable to do more than to focus on her heart, the way her heartrate had yet to slow down, Midna found herself continuing, talking faster than she had done in ages, as she gestured towards the horizon where the Eldin Mountains stood, almost cutting into the sky. “Look,” she said, leaning closer towards Zelda to make sure she would be able to hear her, “I have read that the mountain range used to be the border between Hyrule and the Twilight Realm.”</p>
<p>“So have I.” when Zelda noticed the look Midna sent her, she simply sent her a little smile. “Come on, I may have grown up and received my education in Hyrule Castle, but my captain always insisted that I would have to at least know the truth about geography if I wanted to call myself wise.”</p>
<p>“Ashei?” the name should not have been that easy to recall, it should not feel almost like she had just been punched in the stomach to say it, but that was nevertheless the sensation that accompanied the sound of the name.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Zelda looked forward, shaking her head a little, the movement making her hair move, coming to rest between them, creating a curtain that kept Midna from being able to read her expression, if she had ever truly been able to do that. “It was Ashei who taught me that. I—she thought me a lot of things, really. I just never fully realised the extent of it until I came out here. Did you know that she got me books my father had told me I was not allowed to read?” the answer to her question must have been written across Midna’s face, for Zelda did not wait for her to say anything, instead continuing. “I just mentioned to her how my father had told me that it would not be proper reading for a princess, and the next morning, it was waiting for me by my bed. I don’t know how she convinced the maid not to tell my father about it. Now that I think about it, maybe it really wasn’t that difficult; the maid might not have known about the contents of the book or why my father had been in such a sour mood the day before. But, no matter what, she got me the book.”</p>
<p>“And helped you sneak onto a pirate ship,” Midna added.</p>
<p>That earned her a little smile from Zelda along with her reaching out to move her hair back behind her shoulders. “That too. I just—” and, in just a little under a second, the smile had disappeared, a frown and a deep crease between Zelda’s brows taking its place, “I can’t help but think about her from time to time. I mean, if my father ever found out about how she helped me escape, I know that—” taking a deep breath, Zelda leant back, placing her hands on the ground, but there was none of the usual lightness to it, no joy in her smile as she looked over at Midna, “I just hope that she is all right.”</p>
<p>“I am sure she is.” for how she really had no way of knowing if any of what she was saying was true, the fact that she knew almost nothing about Ashei only making it all the more obvious that, no matter what she might think, Midna was not in a position to make promises, she sounded awfully sure of herself as she reached out to place her hand on top of Zelda’s, hoping it would provide her with a bit of comfort. “She sounds like she knows what she is doing.”</p>
<p>“I know that. I know that Ashei can take care of herself, she always has, but I just—if anything happens to her, if there is something I have not thought about that would tell my father that I was the person to make the choice to leave the guards and the kingdom behind to escape with you, I know that he will blame Ashei for it, despite the fact that I was the one who convinced her to help me.”</p>
<p>“If it helps, I am sure that he would never even consider that that might be the case,” Midna offered, “I mean, why would anyone want to join a bunch of pirates when they could have been a princess instead? Other than them having a hero-complex the size of their kingdom, of course.”</p>
<p>Zelda’s laugh sounded almost melodic in the otherwise silence, echoing around them for a moment, before Zelda brought her hand up to cover her mouth. The fact that she moved her left hand, keeping her right hand where it was, not moving it away from Midna’s, was not something Midna missed, but given the fact that she had no idea what to think of it, she tried her best not to, instead directing her full attention towards Zelda as she shook her head and looked over at her.</p>
<p>“You are right. Why would anyone do that? Although, I must admit that, once you are here, it can be difficult to imagine a world without all of this.” Zelda gestured towards the forest beneath them, moving closer to Midna who responded instantly, opening up the little cocoon she had let the quilt form around her, offering to share the warmth it provided with Zelda. “I—I might have grown up in a castle, surrounded by knights and all that, but…” despite how Zelda was pressed up against her, Midna still struggled to bring the quilt around them, or at least she did until Zelda reached out to grab a corner of the blanket, bringing it closer to her, until they were both fully surrounded by it, “the more time I spend here, the more I begin to think that you might have been a knight in a former life. I get that you are a princess and all that, but—and please don’t take this the wrong way—to me at least, you seem almost more like a knight, always ready to save people.”</p>
<p>She leant in even closer, and as Midna felt the warmth of her breath on her cheek, she knew that it would have been so easy to complete the last bit, to respond to what Zelda had not dared to put into words and do it. After all, by now, there was not any risk associated with doing so—Zelda had already closed more than half of the distance between them, reduced it to nothing. She could give in and simply enjoy the softness.</p>
<p>Maybe she might have done that, has it not been for the fact that they were sitting up in the watchtower, the roof that had been painted to not stand out against the mountain, the tower barely able to qualify for that descriptor given how it could not properly reach the sky when it was not supposed to be seen by an airship flying over the mountain, offering them nothing but fear. Maybe it would have been easier to be soft if they had not been surrounded by the stone and fear of death. There were so many maybes, things that might have changed everything and nothing if they had been different, that Midna could not tell which one of them was the final one, the one that took her from being able to just sit there and enjoy Zelda’s presence, look at her face and state that she had clearly never looked at her since she was able to find herself losing her ability to think as she saw the way her eyes sparkled, instead making it so that she reacted by tearing herself away from Zelda, opening up the little shell of warmth they had created with the quilt as she let go of it, letting the blanket fall to the ground as Midna almost fell backwards in her attempt at getting away from Zelda in time. But even then, even as she had to bring up her hand to keep herself from hitting her head on the stones beneath her, it was still not enough to shield her from having to watch how Zelda’s expression changed in an instant. The smile died, the twinkle in her eyes disappearing from one moment to another.</p>
<p>“Midna, I—” Zelda began, and by now, it was obvious how she was trying her best not to cry, “I am sorry, I thought—”</p>
<p>If Midna had been clever, if she had had just a little bit of compassion, an ability to think about how Zelda must have felt in that moment, she would have told her that she had thought wrong, that she had misinterpreted everything between them. It would have been the kindest thing to do, freeing both of them from having to think about it anymore.</p>
<p>But, just as Midna had tried to explain to Zelda for what felt like hundreds of times, she was not a particularly kind person, so, even though she knew that she would only make it even more difficult between them, she found herself shaking her head at Zelda’s apology. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I am just—I wasn’t ready for it.”</p>
<p>That was what it was, was it not? Midna might have gone from looking at Zelda and seeing a princess who was only two deaths away from having to claim to throne of Hyrule and the responsibility and power that came with it, now seeing Zelda, the woman who had continued to believe in her even when she really should not have, but she was still not just Midna, just a pirate. No matter how many times she might try to insist that the opposite was the case, she was still the daughter of the last queen of the Twilight Realm. It was not enough to make her a princess, not when she had lost the throne and her country before she had even been born, but it was more than enough to make it so that she could never just be Midna.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda understood it. Midna was not sure if she dared to hope for that to be the case, but given Zelda’s own upbringing, the books Midna was slowly beginning to realise might have created the idea for Zelda to try to understand what the pirate who had attacked her ship had meant when she had claimed that the king was a tyrant, if anyone would be able to understand what Midna was talking about, it would be her.</p>
<p>And, slowly, clearly unsure of what to do, Zelda did nod, a little smile that was still not nearly enough to hide the hurt in her eyes making its way onto her face. “I understand. I am—” Midna could almost hear the ‘sorry’, but, at the last moment, Zelda interrupted herself, “I will wait. If that is what you want me to do.”</p>
<p>It was. More than anything, it was what Midna wanted. But telling Zelda that she would have to let her own happiness wait, that she would have to spend what little time she had left before Ganondorf would find them waiting for something that might quite possibly never happen—Midna could not do that, not if she still wanted to think of herself as an even halfway decent person. Really, the fact that she wished to do that should have been enough to tell her that she had already spent too much time around Zelda, but she still could not bring herself to do what she knew would be the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Instead, she smiled at Zelda, picking up the quilt from where it had landed on the ground between them.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” the words were barely more than a whisper, but Midna still knew that Zelda had heard them, simply from the way she smiled up at her, clearly trying her best not to show the pain that had been there mere moments before.</p>
<p>“It is nothing.”</p>
<p>But as they turned their attention to the stars above them, neither of them having to say anything for both of them to know that they did not have the energy to talk anymore, Midna knew that it was as far from nothing as something could possibly be. Still, as the seconds passed between them, Midna’s body screaming for her to return to her bed until she finally gave in and began the walk back towards the hangar with Zelda at her side, she could not bring herself to say anything.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And with that, the idea of becoming part of a possible rebellion is slowly beginning to seem less and less like it would only be a disaster waiting to happen to Midna.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night continued to hang above them through the following day, following along with them like a shadow no matter how many times Midna tried to send it away. The only comfort she had was the fact that it at least did not seem like anyone had noticed anything, even if the glance Cremia sent the area between her and Zelda as she ran up next to Midna, tapping her shoulder, would indicate otherwise. But she did not comment on it, and even if Midna was not sure how much of that was due to the fact that she did not exactly send her a look that would have invited for her to say anything about it, not with how the sleepless night had formed shadows under her eyes, she was still grateful for that little display of kindness.</p>
<p>“Yes?” Midna tried her best to not sound annoyed. She should not have been, really, when all was said and done, the fact that Cremia had come to talk with her meant that she would be provided with a distraction from all the feelings that had not disappeared during the few hours of restless sleep Midna had at last been able to find, but it did not feel like her voice was aware of that, refusing to cooperate.</p>
<p>It was not lost on Cremia either, not as she took a step backwards, clearly wondering for a moment if what she had come to talk with her about would not be able to wait for a better moment. In the end, however, the answer was quite clearly a no, as Cremia took a deep breath and looked back up at her. “I was just wondering, well, that is to say, my sister was wondering…” she let the sentence trail off.</p>
<p>Before Midna would have had the chance to say anything she would without a doubt have come to regret moments later, Zelda was there, interrupting the conversation as she stepped between them, her smile already making the air feel warmer as she looked at Cremia. “Speaking of Romani, if she doing better now?”</p>
<p>The sigh of relief that Cremia let out was not exactly discreet, and although Midna knew that she had no right to feel hurt by the fact that she had no idea what they were talking about, nor how Cremia clearly only felt safe enough to tell Zelda the reason for why she was there, it did not keep her stomach from aching as she saw how quickly Cremia was able to open up to Zelda.</p>
<p>“Actually, that was what I had hoped to talk with you about.” casting a quick glance in Midna’s direction, Cremia soon turned back to Zelda, “she woke me up with another nightmare just this morning. I think—I think that she might still not have fully understood that we are safe here. She keeps on talking about how she has to find her bow and arrows to be sure that she will be able to defend everyone when they come back for us.”</p>
<p>“Oh, is there anything you think I will be able to do to help her?” and that was seemingly all it had required for Zelda to resume her usual habit of assuming that she would be able to make everyone’s problems disappear simply by being there for them.</p>
<p>However, unlike what Midna had thought would happen, unlike how she had assumed that Cremia would be more than happy to accept Zelda’s offer for help, she shook her head, instead turning to face Midna. “No, but it is very kind of you to offer. The few times I was able to get Romani to talk to me for more than a couple of seconds, she seemed to want to talk to Midna. She said something about how she was able to shoot them.”</p>
<p>Although Midna knew that she was the person they were talking about, it did not keep it all from feeling almost unreal, like they had to have mistaken her for someone else. After all, no matter what the alternatives were, Midna could not imagine that she would ever be the best option as to who to send to talk with a little child about how she did not have to be scared, no matter who they might otherwise have gone to. Even if Zelda had not been standing right there, volunteering to do the exact thing Cremia had just asked of Midna, she would still have advised Cremia, anyone, really, not to pick her.</p>
<p>But as she opened her mouth, Midna found that the words that came out were almost the exact opposite of what she had wanted to say. “Uh, are you sure you think that is a good idea?”</p>
<p>It had been meant as a way for Cremia to easily change her mind, a way for her to say that, no she really had not meant it after all, without her having to worry about upsetting Midna. But somehow, Cremia must have missed all of that, for she simply nodded, not at all looking like she was realising just how big the mistake she was about to make really was. “Yes! She has talked about you a lot and now, she wants to thank you for saving us. Really,” Cremia let out a laugh, “when I returned after having gone to visit you in the infirmary, and she found out where I had been, she was so angry that I had not told her about how I was going to visit you. She kept talking about how she had wanted to say thankyou as well.”</p>
<p>Midna had nothing to say to that. If Romani wanted to continue to put her onto a pedestal, then she could not see what she could do to stop her, other than continuing to tell both Zelda, Cremia, and now also Romani that there was no need for them to do it.</p>
<p>“Uh, all right.” shooting a glance at Zelda, hoping that she would understand the plea for her to help, to save Midna from having to go with Cremia right then, Midna took a small, apprehensive step towards Cremia. “When do you want me to talk with her?”</p>
<p>She had hoped to gain a few days to try to mentally prepare herself for having to think of a way to assure Romani that she was safe while knowing all too well that that was a promise she would never be able to make.</p>
<p>That hope died as Cremia lit up into a smile, already taking her hand as she answered. “Right now would be best. She has had problems sleeping ever since we first arrived, so I am sure that the less time she would have to wait, the better.” the pure, unmasked fear and horror at the prospect of having to go see her now, without even a moment to try to prepare herself, must have been visible on Midna’s face, for Cremia blushed, pausing to add. “Or, well, if it would be better for you that way, I am sure that she would be fine with waiting for a few more days.”</p>
<p>Midna was saved from having to admit that she really did not want to talk with Romani, that she was not prepared to have to help them, by Link running into the hangar.</p>
<p>However, the relief was short-lived, for the moment Midna saw how he was struggling to catch his breath, having clearly sprinted to make it from the watchtower back into the hangar as quickly as it had been possible for him, panic evident in his eyes, she knew that something had happened, that something was wrong in a way that they could not hope to fix.</p>
<p>Moments later, Zelda and Cremia noticed the same, both of them turning around to look at him as well.</p>
<p>“Link?” Zelda said. As she took a step forwards, it could not have been more apparent that the only thing that kept her from running over to Link, from rushing forwards to be able to listen to what had happened, what the reason for why he was sprinting like the entirety of the king’s army was chasing him, was the fact that Midna did not move, Zelda instead moving to stand next to her, clutching her hand as Link ran over to them.</p>
<p>“Midna…” his breath came out in uneven, quick intervals as Link placed his hands on his knees, “fire… in the horizon.”</p>
<p>She knew what had happened. Before Midna had even opened her mouth, she knew what the answer to her question would be, but she still could not keep herself from continuing, the little chance that she might be wrong making hope flare up in her chest.</p>
<p>It was brutally killed only moments later, when Link regained his breath, stumbling over to her and grabbing her arm to keep himself from collapsing as he continued. “Kakariko Village—it is burning, I could see the flames from behind the mountain.”</p>
<p>Kakariko. It almost felt like she was not able to hear it, feeling like she should have misheard Link. After all, Kakariko—the tiny village they had purposefully avoided making a target for one of their missions based on the fact that it could not have been clearer that the people there had not built the same kind of giant houses they had found in other villages—what was there within such a small village that would have earned it the fate of being destroyed to a point where it would even be removed from the maps? Midna would not dare to claim that she knew much about the village or the people living there, but the idea that they might actually have done something to anger Ganondorf enough for him to order the total destruction of yet another village, it did not feel right. But then again, Midna only had to look at Cremia to know that, sometimes, little was all it would take for Ganondorf to make such a decision.</p>
<p>“We have to go now. They—if we hurry, we might be able to arrive before the rest of the king’s ships will have landed to catch the survivors. We have to help.” it was not until she saw how they all looked at her, surprise apparent on Zelda’s face, Cremia looking uneasy, while Link looked like he had only waited for her to say exactly that, that Midna realised that she had been the one to talk. It felt like it should have been Zelda, after all, she had always been the one to talk about how they had an obligation towards the rest of the world, that they had been given the burden of having to free the world, and yet, here they were, Zelda, Link, and Cremia all looking at her, two of them seeming like they were only a few seconds away from asking her if she was trying to make some cruel joke.</p>
<p>Then Link nodded, finally bringing an end to the silence. “That was exactly what I was thinking. Come, we have to hurry. Cremia, Zelda, will you make sure to tell everyone where we have gone?” as Link sent a longing glance in the direction of the corridors, it could not have been more obvious exactly whom he was referring to.</p>
<p>She was about to throw up. That was the only thing Midna could think of that would be enough to explain the aching feeling in her chest and stomach. Granted, more than anything she wanted to be able to have the time to run to Ilia, to tell her that she was sorry, but given how Link had already halfway gone over to the ship, clearly expecting for Zelda and Cremia to understand that he was not merely asking something of them, he was begging them to do it, she would not be given that luxury. Everything was happening all at once, leaving her with not even a single second to think things through. Or, at least that was the case until Zelda made the entire world stop.</p>
<p>“I will come with you.”</p>
<p>Everyone froze, Midna staring at Zelda, mentally begging her to change her mind, although she knew that it would never happen, not with how she had quite clearly already prepared herself to argue for being brought along.</p>
<p>As Link let go of the rope ladder, landing on the ground with a thud, it was clear that Zelda would need every argument she could think of if she wanted to change the fact that he was already looking at her with a frown.</p>
<p>“No,” Link said, “never. You are staying here. If we brought you along, if anything happened, the fact that we would be caught with you is only going to make everything worse for us.”</p>
<p>“But—”</p>
<p>“No, you can’t come with us.” there was an edge of something in Link’s voice that Midna had never heard before, something that sounded almost like an even more stubborn version of the young boy who had refused to leave her behind for all those years. “Midna and I are going, and I am never going to worsen our odds just to bring you along.”</p>
<p>“Link.” Midna was moving, walking over to place a hand on his arm, almost without thinking about it. “Let her come along. I promise you that I will make sure that none of us will get caught.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Link simply stared at her, the two of them fighting the silent battle, waiting to see who would be the first to give in and agree with the other. That person ended up being Link. Of course he was. It had been that way for as long as she could remember, and as Link nodded towards Zelda, Midna tried to focus on that fact to distract herself from the feeling of having just made a mistake she would never get the chance to make right.</p>
<p>“All right.” the look Link sent Zelda could not have made it any clearer what he thought of the plan, but at least he did not say it, merely shrugging. “Come along if you want to, but be quick.” with that, he climbed up onto the ladder, moving with such speed that Midna did not have to ask to know that it was his way to take his frustration out on something.</p>
<p>“Well?” Midna sent Zelda a questioning glance. “Do you want to come?”</p>
<p>If there had been any logical thoughts in Zelda’s mind, she would have said no, admitted that she had made a mistake, and apologised for wasting time. But given that this was Zelda, of course that was not what happened.</p>
<p>“As ready as I will ever be.”</p>
<p>Midna did not know what to say to that. Was there any way to tell someone that they would come to regret that in a moment? If there was, Midna did not know how, and so, she simply settled on trying to help Zelda get up on deck. They did not have the luxury of wasting another second.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They could see the fire in the distance from the moment they left the base, the mountain becoming a little dot beneath them as they reached an altitude where Midna realised how what she had at first assumed to be dark clouds was really the smoke that the fire that had consumed the little village that had otherwise enjoyed the protection of being located right next to the Eldin Mountains sent up into the air.</p>
<p>During the first few hours of the journey, Zelda had seemingly decided to take it upon herself to try to make sure that they would not lose courage, but as the flames grew larger, the air around them reflecting the same warmth, she fell silent as well.</p>
<p>From her spot behind the rudder, Midna could see how her shoulders gradually rose and rose, nearly touching her ears. The moment she saw how Zelda gripped onto the handrail, her shoulders shaking so much that Midna knew that she was crying even if she could not see her face, she knew that she had to do something. Thankfully, Link was there for her the second after she had gestured towards him, accepting the task of making sure they would stay on course without a word, freeing Midna from having to do the same.</p>
<p>Zelda did not react as she walked over to stand next to her, instead keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the sight beneath them. Midna was not sure if it meant that there was something wrong with her that she right in that moment was more preoccupied with trying to figure out what she could do to help Zelda than with paying attention to their surroundings. The sight that would meet her if she looked over the side of the ship should have been more important, the way the fire had spread to envelop the trees around the village, only stopped by the cold weather, the way she was slowly able to spot the remains of the destroyed village in the distance, the burnt houses and fields that met them as they made their way over to the village, Link making sure to keep them so far away from the flames that they did not have to fear the flames licking across the underside of the ship. But when Midna looked over at Zelda, it felt almost like she was the only person she could see, the only thing that mattered as Midna reached out to place a hand on her shoulder.</p>
<p>The reaction was instant, Zelda jerking, her eyes wide and scared for a second, before she recognised her, and even then, her breath continued to be far quicker than what it should have been. “Midna…” Zelda shook her head, her gaze almost seeming like it was drawn to the destruction under them, “I had no idea… I knew that you told me that I was being naïve, but this—goddesses, I had never even <em>imagined</em>, I had never thought that it could be this bad.” almost like her knees gave up, no longer able to support her, Zelda fell into Midna’s embrace, crying into her shoulder.</p>
<p>For once, Midna let her do just that. It did not matter that she had known exactly what they would find when they would arrive from the moment Link had first mentioned the village with that kind of panic in his voice, Zelda had not known. Midna could only imagine what she would have thought, what it would have felt like, to think that they would set out to save the residents of a village that was under attack, only to be forced to come to the realisation that, sometimes, all they could do was to make sure that the few who had been lucky enough to not have been in the village during the attack would not be captured by the king as well. It was a cruel sense of comfort, the fact that, no matter what happened, no matter how much Midna would have wished for the ability to be able to know in advance, to be able to arrive before the king’s soldiers, all she could do was to try to save the few who had survived. Telling Zelda that she had been naïve to think that it could have ended any differently would not make the situation better, Midna knew that, so she simply held Zelda, allowing her to cry into her shirt, as Link searched for a place to land the ship where they would be safe from the fires.</p>
<p>The ashes where whirled up into the air as the ship came to rest in a little spot just outside the village, a hill serving to separate them from the worst of the fires.</p>
<p>As Link jumped back down onto the deck, having already halfway made his way over to the rope ladder before he turned around to look back at Midna, Midna grabbed Zelda’s hand, making sure that she could hear her as she spoke. “You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to. You can stay here on the ship. This—you don’t have to watch if you don’t want to.”</p>
<p>But Zelda shook her head, somehow seeming even more horrified that Midna would even make the suggestion than she had been at the sight of the destruction around them. “No. I have to know.”</p>
<p>Midna could not exactly argue with that, so although her conscience screamed at her, yelling at her to tell Zelda to stay, to spare her from having to continue, she stayed silent as they all left the ship, slowly walking over to the village. Still, their silence was not only a matter of how they could not know whether the residents would attack them, thinking that they were somehow connected to the king’s soldiers, but also the fact that it did not take more than a few moments of them being distracted, before the fire might have been able to surround them, making any escape impossible, not just for the residents of Kakariko, but for the three of them as well.</p>
<p>However, the fact that they had to be so intimately aware of their surroundings came with a cost as well, and no matter how much Midna tried to refrain from breathing through her nose, she was not able to ignore the sickeningly sweet smell of something burning in the village. But she tried her best not to think about it, hoping that it might simply be a few cuccos who had not been lucky enough to escape in time. Allowing herself to think about what it might have meant otherwise would surely have made her unable to continue.</p>
<p>As Link began to try to whisper to the breeze that they were not there to harm anyone, that they had arrived to try to save the few people who might have been able to escape the fire, not able to yell as loudly as they wanted to when they did not have any way of knowing when the rest of the soldiers would arrive, Midna began to look for any signs of where the residents might have gone, the broken twigs and footprints that might indicate that they had not come there for nothing. Of course, it was a likely option, the idea that they might be the only ones still alive in the area, but Midna pushed it away from her. They had to at least believe that they had a chance. If not, then they would never be able to convince anyone to reveal their location.</p>
<p>That was when she caught a glimpse of someone. There, to her right, just behind a couple of trees, Midna knew that she had seen the flash of fabric trailing after someone sprinting from the cover provided by a tree to the next one. Making sure that she did not make a sound, that she did not make it obvious to the person that they had been spotted, Midna gestured towards Link, barely nodding towards the forest. He understood the message immediately. It was in moments like these that Midna found herself so incredibly thankful for how a single glance was sometimes all it would take for him to be able to know exactly what she thought. It was annoying, frustrating even, when it would be the thing that kept her from being able to lie to him, but now, as Link slowly made his way towards the trees, walking a few steps in front of Midna and Zelda, she could not have been more grateful.</p>
<p>“Hello?” Link whispered, taking slow, precise steps, careful to avoid the debris of the destroyed village, the pieces of roofs and the wood that lay on the ground. “We are here to help. I promise you that you have nothing to fear. We just want to make sure that you will not be captured by the king—that is all. If you come with us, then we promise that we will do our best to ensure that you will never be harmed again.”</p>
<p>Just as Midna was about to tell him that it was not working, that no one was naïve enough to believe them after having had to watch their village be destroyed, a girl stepped out from behind the tree, and the words disappeared in Midna’s throat.</p>
<p>She was even younger than Romani, completely covered in ask, leaving only a few stripes on her cheeks free, making sure that they knew how she had been crying over the destruction of everything she had ever known. She could barely be older than what Midna had been when she had been left behind, and yet, rather than hiding, she left the relative safety of the tree to instead take a short, tentative step towards them.</p>
<p>“Who are you?” she asked, and although she was trying to seem old, to seem strong, taking a deep breath to seem bigger, Midna could hear how her voice shook.</p>
<p>“We are here to help.” this time, it was Zelda who tried, moving over to stand next to Link. “We saw the flames from beyond the mountains, and now we are here to see if there is anyone still alive. We want to make sure that you will not all be brought back to Hyrule Castle; we want to make sure that you are safe.”</p>
<p>But it was not enough, the girl still glared at Zelda, everything about the way she held herself, the way she clenched her fists, telling them not to come any closer. However, the next moment, her gaze landed on Midna, and everything changed. The girl’s eyes grew wide, an almost disbelieving look on her face making her suddenly seem like the little child she was as she forgot everything about how she had tried to make herself look bigger.</p>
<p>“I see.” she nodded, having already halfway turned around. “Wait, I have to find the others.”</p>
<p>Without another word, not waiting for even a second to give them the chance to ask a question, she had turned around and sprinted back into the forest. She was gone so quickly that even if Midna had not instinctively known that she would come back, that she would only make everything worse if she were to try to follow her after she had so clearly shown that she did not want them to, she would still have doubted that she would have been able to keep up with her for more than a couple of metres.</p>
<p>So they stayed, suddenly aware of just what had happened.</p>
<p>“Do you think…?” Link looked over at Midna, sending a short nod in the direction of Zelda, his hesitance to finish the sentence making it obvious what he wanted to ask.</p>
<p>“That she knows that I am the queen’s daughter?” despite the gravity of the situation—or maybe it was exactly the reason for it—Midna could not help but smile as Link sent her a shocked look. “Relax, I have already told her about it.”</p>
<p>Zelda looked back and forth between them. “Told me about what?”</p>
<p>“Link thinks that the reason why the girl suddenly changed her mind when she saw me might be because she was able to recognise me, and, as much as I hate to admit it, I can’t see any other explanation for why she was prepared to find the other survivors so suddenly.”</p>
<p>The silence fell over them, and for once, Midna was not in a hurry to try to make anyone say something. Was there even anything they could have said if they had wanted to? What did you say when you were standing in the smoking ruins of a village with two of the people who meant the most to you, waiting and hoping that you would have enough time to wait for a girl you had never met before to find the other survivors, convince them to come back to the base with the ship that was all that was left of the Twilight Realm, and then make it back to the ship, all needing to happen before the fire would have got the chance to surround them and without the king’s soldiers being able to see them? The answer was that there was nothing to say, and so, they all continued to look directly ahead, all of them united in the unspoken wish that the girl would be back soon.</p>
<p>Maybe she had heard them, had been able to feel how none of them knew what to do. At least that was what it felt like, though Midna knew that it was really just a sign that the survivors had only been saved by pure luck, that they had not been far away from the village when it had been destroyed. The little girl returned moments later, only this time, she was not alone anymore. Two men followed right behind her, both of them sending them wary glances as they stepped out, leaving the protection of the forest behind. The fact that they both let their gazes pass over Link and Zelda, one of the two pausing for a moment, before they both ended up staring at Midna with wide eyes, only made her even more certain that she had been right when she had assumed that the little girl had somehow been able to recognise her even though it should not have been possible.</p>
<p>Still, as one of the men walked forward, stepping in front of the girl, positioning himself so that, if they wanted to get to her, they would have had to go through him—her father, Midna guessed, judging from the way he made sure that they could not see her—it began to seem more and more likely that that was really the case, despite the fact that even trying to think about it made her stomach turn, telling her that she might have been a bit too quick to think that it had been a good idea to eat breakfast that day.</p>
<p>In the end, despite the way the taller of the men had clearly stepped up to offer the two others a chance to escape, should anything end up going wrong, he was not the first of them to speak. Rather, that honour would have to go to the man who had otherwise stayed in the background, clutching something close to his chest.</p>
<p>Pushing his glasses back in place, the little pieces of glass seeming like they would not exactly be able to help him with how they were covered in ash, he stepped to the side, looking directly over at Midna as he spoke. “You—you are here to help us?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Midna was not certain what Link and Zelda would have said. Most likely, they would have been better at putting their intentions into words that might be able to convince these three that they had to go, but right then, as she noticed at how none of them had stopped staring at her, she did not have to look at Zelda and Link to know that they were all thinking the same thing. She might have the best chances of convincing them, especially if they truly had recognised her. “We are here to help. Just a few hundred metres in that direction,” she gestured behind her, “we have a ship waiting for us to return. We can bring you back home to our base. It is safe, or, well, it is as safe as any place can be right now, but it is surely better than simply waiting here, sitting around and letting the guards capture you when they arrive.” with the way the tall man moved in front of the girl, Midna knew that she had made the right decision to mention that detail. It was amazing, really, how quick people could be to agree with her if she reminded them of the fact that they were not only making decisions for themselves. But, as she looked over towards the second man and saw the way he was still pressing something against his chest, clutching it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, Midna could not help the feeling of there being something she had not realised yet, another reason for why they exchanged a few, quick glances, before the tall man turned towards her.</p>
<p>“And you promise us that you will be able to bring all of us back with you?” he asked, continuing immediately the moment Midna nodded. “Would you also be able to bring back a book?”</p>
<p>“A book?” Midna echoed. “Why? I mean, yes, it would not be any problem for us to bring a book along as well, but why?” already, she was trying to figure out if she had heard anything about a library in Kakariko. With the way the man had said the word, it seemed unlikely to think that he was referring to some book of fairy tales, that it was just something he wanted to bring along just to have it, but no matter how much she tried to search through her mind, she could not recall having ever heard about there having been a library in Kakariko Village. That was also, arguably, what made the most sense. Libraries—with all the books, buildings, and means of protecting the precious contents, there were a rare sight even in the larger towns. Otherwise, Midna would not have dared to make the abandoned base their hideout. It simply would not have been safe enough if anyone could have got a book about the history of the Twili royal family.</p>
<p>But even though she had been about to conclude that she must have heard wrong, that he must have said something else, the man nodded. “Yes, a book. Shad, would you mind showing them?”</p>
<p>The man, Shad, froze, and Midna could understand why. Now, they all knew his name, while they had no idea about exactly who the people who had just stepped into the ruins of their home, claiming that they wanted to help them, were. Of course, if she was right, they did indeed now her, or at least they knew about who her mother had been, but that did not change the fact that, along with the name, the man had just handed them the advantage of being able to tell other people the identity of one of the survivors of Kakariko.</p>
<p>The moment only lasted for a fraction of a second, then Shad seemingly managed to ignore the fact that he had just lost all hopes of being able to flee without them being able to figure out who he was, for he took a few short steps forwards, clearly wanting to remain where he had been as he unfolded his arms and showed them what the reason for how he had been unwilling to move had been.</p>
<p>It was a book. It was almost disappointing to see that that was all there had been to it, for although Midna did not have to ask to know that, no matter what it might be, the content of the book was important to these three, it was still just a book, hardly a weapon they would be able to use to more efficiently fight back against the king.</p>
<p>With how she doubted she would have been able to hide her disappointment, Midna was relieved when Zelda spoke up, saving her from having to think of something to say.</p>
<p>“Oh, a book.” the remark was so incredibly mundane, stating what all six of them already knew, and yet, Midna found that it was relieving to hear another person say what they were all thinking, assuring her that she was not imagining things, that they really had just asked if they would be able to bring the book back to the base, acting almost like they would have refused the offer to help them if the answer had been no. “May I ask…” Zelda paused, clearly trying to figure out how to phrase her question in a way that would not be taken as an insult, “may I ask what it is about?”</p>
<p>Clearly, it had been the wrong thing to ask. Midna could tell that much simply by seeing how the three people in front of them all closed off, the father pushing his daughter a bit more behind him, Shad instantly crossing his arms in front of the book again. And yet, maybe Zelda had actually been wiser than Midna could ever hope to be, for, even though she had just thought that they had wasted their only chance of convincing these people to let them help them, as they exchanged a quick series of glances, she could not deny the fact that there might still be a possibility of it ending with all six of them being aboard the Shadow when they would have to flee from the flames.</p>
<p>“Go on, Shad,” the father whispered, almost like he had been able to listen to her thoughts, “show them. I trust them completely.” while his words might have been meant for all of them, the way he did not take his gaze off Midna made sure to tell them exactly why he made that decision.</p>
<p>Finally, Shad let out a sigh, sounding like he mostly just wanted to tell the man that he did not agree with him. “Fine. Just... if anything goes wrong, know that I blame you.” and with those words, he showed them the book again, holding it out in front of him with an air to him that instantly guaranteed that, if there had been any doubt left for any of them about the importance of the book, it would have disappeared in an instant. “This book is the reason for the destruction of this village.”</p>
<p>She heard the words. Midna understood the meaning of each and every one of them, was able to decode them separately, but as she tried to understand the extent of what Shad was saying, it was almost like there was something there that simply refused to cooperate.</p>
<p>It did not make any sense. As Midna looked around her, saw the ash and the burnt beams that had once supported the roof of the house next to her, it did not seem possible that it could all be blamed on the book, no matter how valuable it might seem to Shad.</p>
<p>“I know that it seems unlikely, that you must think that we are lying right now or at least not understanding what has happened,” the man said, putting Midna’s exact thoughts into words, “but it is true.”</p>
<p>Once again, Zelda was the one to save them from completely ruining all chances of these people accepting their offer to help them, bringing an end to the silence before Midna was able to say anything.</p>
<p>Frowning slightly, Zelda gestured towards the book. “I am sorry, but I just… I don’t understand. Why would the k—Ganondorf, why would he want to destroy and entire village all for one book? I have read about Kakariko, there has never once been any trouble out here. Burning down everything—it simply does not seem rational, and you are saying that he did it all to ensure the destruction of that one book?”</p>
<p>“I do.” the man sent them a tiny smile, though it was clear that he would have cried had it not been for how his daughter peeked out from behind him, looking over at them, a look in her eyes that Midna did not know what to think of, almost a combination of fear and worship. “Though I suppose that he did not only do it for the book as he must also have wanted to ensure that the people who had made it would die before they would have got the chance to use any of the information in the book to harm him.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Link asked, but already before they received an answer, Midna knew what it would be, her stomach already making sure that she would not end up throwing up by beginning to ache immediately.</p>
<p>Sending a long glance towards Shad, the two of them clearly reaching a silent agreement, the man threw his hands out to the side, encompassing all three of them. “We, and by that I man Shad and I,” he blinked at Shad, “and before Shad tells you, my name is Renado and this is my daughter, Luda—we were working on a map of the castle, have been working on it for years, actually.”</p>
<p>She had thought that she had been prepared to hear it. Midna had truly believed that she was ready to stand there and listen to someone so calmly state that they had been working to try to gather information about the king, that they had been trying to figure out a way to make sense of the castle, the fortress that had, if the rumours Midna had heard about it had been true, been built specifically to have such a confusing interior, full of dead ends and corridors that felt like they could continue on for forever, that any attackers would get lost in there and starve long before they would have been able to reach the king, but as she looked over at Renado and Shad and saw how they were completely serious, she knew that that had not been the case.</p>
<p>“A map?” Zelda’s voice was shrill. “You made a map of the castle, have I understood correctly? Because if that is the case, then—”</p>
<p>“Yes, to both of your questions.” Shad sent her a tiny hint of a smile. “We have made a map of the castle, and yes, Ganondorf did indeed order the entire village to be destroyed, all to make sure that we would never be able to use the information it would have given us for anything. That, and then to make sure that we would never be able to make another copy, due to the fact that we were clearly meant to perish in the fire.”</p>
<p>“But… why?”</p>
<p>If Midna had wanted to know exactly how insane the idea of trying to map out Hyrule Castle was, she only had to look over at Zelda. After the months she had spent in her company, Midna had come to expect that if anyone would ever have been even a little bit impressed with the way they had gone directly against the king, tried to figure out how the castle had been built, it would have been Zelda. So the fact that she was looking over at them, pure concern and disbelief in her eyes, was yet another sign of just how much danger they had put themselves in from the moment they had made the decision to actually make the idea become reality.</p>
<p>“Because someone had to.” Shad looked at them, a strange look in his eyes that made a shiver run down Midna’s back. It felt almost like he was trying to gauge how much he could tell them, what he could say before he would bring himself into a situation he would not be able to escape again. Moments later, she learnt that she had been right about that, as Shad and Renado exchanged a glance, the latter seemingly agreeing to let him continue, for Shad turned back towards them, took a deep breath, and added. “We knew that we would have to use our resources to help those who share the same goal as us.”</p>
<p>Midna had wanted to wait, giving Zelda the chance to ask the question, knowing that she would without a doubt be better at making it sound less accusatory, but she simply could not keep the words inside of her as it felt like they were bubbling up from her stomach, reaching her mouth to be let out in what was not quite a laugh and not quite a yell as she cocked her head. “Which is?”</p>
<p>“To kill the king.”</p>
<p>The world should have gone silent. It should have stopped moving, giving them the time they so desperately needed in that moment to try to understand what had happened, or at least that was how Midna felt. But it did not. The birds continued to fly across the sky above, she could hear the how the fire continued to roam through the forest around them, could still detect the smell of what price the entire village had had to pay for the crime of having simply been unfortunate to live close to these people.</p>
<p>Shad must have taken their silence as a sign that they would need more information, for, without any of them having prompted him to do so, he continued, the words coming quickly and clearly, making sure that any doubt they might have had about whether or not he understood what he had just said would be dispelled. “We are not the only ones wishing to do that, but I think that we are the only ones who have tried to systematise the pieces of information we have been able to get from within the castle. That is why this book is so important; it might very well be the only map we will ever be able to create."</p>
<p>“Stop.” her mind was spinning, desperately trying to keep up with what was happening around her, the madness that had just become her world, but Midna still did not miss what he had just said. “What do you mean that you are not the only ones?”</p>
<p>All hopes of Shad finally realising exactly how dangerous the fire he was playing with, the fire that had consumed the village around them, was were killed the moment he simply looked over at her, his expression revealing how he almost could not believe that she even had to ask, clearly showing that he thought that this was something he could tell strangers about. “Exactly that. We have established contact to other groups of rebels both within and outside the castle.” he must have noticed the disbelieving looks such an idea was met by, for his voice rose a bit when he continued. “Ganondorf is a tyrant, there is no point of anyone trying to argue that he is not, when everyone can see that he is. Is it really that difficult to believe that there might be people out there who are willing to risk their lives to try to stop him?”</p>
<p>No, it wasn’t. It was not only a matter of how the maid had helped her, making sure that she would be able to get the food she needed, clearly not wasting any time on thinking about the danger she was accepting by helping her, what might happen to her if anyone found out about how the thief had been able to gather the food and medicine, and the little emblem she had worn. Even as Midna tried to recall what life had been like before she had been forced to come face to face with the fact that she held that kind of power, she could not help but remember how quick Rusl had been to declare that he would be more than willing to die if it might be able to help them. And he had ended up doing just that, giving his own life to save her. But unlike Rusl, these people, Shad and Renado, their work to try to overthrow the king had ended up killing everyone in the village except for them. As much as Midna tried to remind herself that she should not place the responsibility for what had happened on them, not when Ganondorf had been the person to give the order, she could not help but look around her and wonder if the people who had not been as lucky as Renado, Shad, and Luda had agreed to accept the risk that living so close to them had been. If she could have asked them, would they have been prepared to die for this? Midna did not know the answer to that question, but she only had to think about what she would have thought to know that she doubted it would be the case.</p>
<p>Zelda was the first of them to regain the ability to speak. With a shaking voice that told them exactly what she thought about everything that had happened as a consequence of their attempts at creating a map of the castle, she looked over at Shad. “Rebels? I am not sure that I understand. Did you say that you have people within the castle?”</p>
<p>Shad nodded. “Yes. We have people in most of the larger cities, but for the last couple of years, our primary focus has been trying to make sure that they would reach positions of power. We thought that it would be the best way to ensure that we might one day be able to overthrow the king.”</p>
<p>Years. It had been happening for years. All those winters Midna had spent within the mountain, hoping that they would have enough food to make it through the months, they had been out there, trying to gather up enough knowledge and resources to finally be able to move against the king.</p>
<p>“But in the castle as well?”</p>
<p>Shooting Zelda a glance, Midna tried to communicate to her that they were beginning to enter dangerous territory, Zelda being seconds away from making it obvious that Renado, Shad, and Luda had not been imagining things when they had let their gaze rest on her for a few moments too long for it to feel natural.</p>
<p>She must have got the message, for she stood back, moving her hair back behind her shoulders, the action giving her a few moments to cover her face and try to collect herself again.</p>
<p>Thankfully, it did not seem that Shad had noticed anything, instead nodding at her. “Yes, especially the castle. I mean, it is the good place to have our people in, somewhere close to the king. Still, we had to ensure that everyone would have a way of entering the castle and make their way around there when the day for that would come, so we have been trying to assemble a map for a few years now. And here it is, the thing that might bring the king into a position where he will have no way to go other than down.”</p>
<p>“And now the village is gone.” Link’s comment was barely audible, the way he looked at the destroyed village around them making it clear that he had not meant for them to hear it.</p>
<p>But Renado had. That much was obvious from the way he frowned, his eyes becoming shiny. “It is. I won’t try to claim that it is not our fault, because it is. We tried to construct the map and, somehow, Ganondorf must have learnt about the existence of such a project and decided that he had to make sure that it would all disappear to ensure that we would never be able to act upon it. But,” he looked over at Midna, “I would not have changed anything even if I got the chance.”</p>
<p>There was a murmur of general agreement coming from Shad, but in that moment, it seemed almost banal when compared to how Zelda was looking over at them, a strange gleam in her eyes. Already, Midna knew whom she would agree with if she were to ask Zelda about her opinion. She had to move before she would get the chance to do the same.</p>
<p>“You might believe that,” Midna said, making sure that her voice did not leave any doubts about what her own thoughts about it were, “but if you want to come back with us to the base, you will have to understand that our priority is survival. We will not offer you a way to continue your work on the map, you will not be able to resume communication with other rebels, nor will you be given a way to try to avenge this village. The only reason we have been able to stay alive for all these years is that we are careful and try our best to make sure that Ganondorf will not know about our existence. If you want to join us, you will have to accept that.”</p>
<p>As the seconds passed, Midna was almost certain that they would tell her that if those were her demands, then they would prefer to stay out here and die with their doomed project, but, at last, Renado looked away from her. It could not have been more apparent whom he was thinking of as he spoke, not with how he was looking down at his daughter. “If those are your demands—”</p>
<p>“They are.”</p>
<p>“—then we will agree to do our best to follow your rules.”</p>
<p>“No.” she knew that she was being unjust, she knew that she should have stopped and try to pretend to be understanding, try to have a bit of sympathy and consider the fact that they were standing in the ruins of their home as a reason for why he might not have simply accepted her demands, but Midna continued nonetheless. “If you want to come back with us, you have to promise that you will not do anything that might endanger us. You will have to understand that we are only safe until the moment when the king learns of our existence, so I would never allow you to continue with your plans of overthrowing the king. Now, do you accept those terms?”</p>
<p>Shad began to move, bringing the book even closer to his chest, clearly willing to do anything to protect it, but before he got the chance to say anything, to tell her that he would not give up his dream, Renado had moved, effectively keeping him from saying anything. With a long look in Midna’s direction, he nodded. “We accept your demands.”</p>
<p>The air felt thick around her as Midna nodded, trying her best not to think about how Zelda was looking at her, sympathy and disappointment burning into her skin. “Good. In that case, we need to go now. Once the soldiers get here, we would not want to still be down here.”</p>
<p>No one said anything as she turned around and began to lead them back to the ship. She was not sure what to think of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The sun had already set when they returned.</p>
<p>Maybe Midna should have seen it as a sign, a way for her to know that now, it was simply a matter of convincing someone else to make sure that Renado, Shad, and Luda would feel welcome and then disappear. If she had been smart, that was what she would have done. But Midna was not smart, and so, even though she noted the way that Zelda was looking over at her, she did not stop to think about it before it was already too late, Zelda having cornered her on the deck of the Shadow.</p>
<p>“I just wanted to talk with you,” Zelda said, everything about her body language, the way she held her hands up in front of her, already assuming a defensive position, only serving to confirm Midna’s theories about exactly what she had wanted to talk with her about.</p>
<p>Still, if Zelda wanted to pretend that there was even the tiniest chance she would ever get Midna to agree with her and give her foolish plan a chance, she could humour her for a little. “All right.” Midna leant back against the handrail, not able to deny the fact that it was great to see Zelda finally look a bit shaken. Barely able to keep back a little laugh, Midna gestured towards Zelda who had yet to begin speaking again. “Go on. I thought you wanted to discuss something with me. I am listening, but I am not hearing anything.”</p>
<p>“Oh, right.” Zelda blushed, but it did not seem like Midna’s fun at her expense had been enough to make her lose track of her thoughts, as she was able to regain her composure in a matter of only a couple of seconds. “Look, Midna, this might be our best chance of overthrowing the king.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely not.”</p>
<p>“But why not?” Zelda continued. “I know that you say that it would only lead to our deaths, but now, we have evidence that there are others out there, other people who are willing to fight. I know that if we only told them about you, they would rise with us and stand against him.”</p>
<p>“And then they would die. It would not matter whether we would be ten people or ten thousand; Ganondorf has the better army, the better equipment, and the best tactics. If we really convinced other people to join such a hopeless cause, it would only mean that we would be responsible for even more deaths, and although you might be prepared to bring that offer, I would never allow anyone to die for a cause I had convinced them to participate in.”</p>
<p>“Midna.” Zelda took a step forward, moving closer to her, almost like the lack of distance between them would make her arguments any better. “They are already here. We would not have to convince anyone. You heard what Shad and Renado said—there are plenty of rebels all over the country, there are people within the castle. They are right here, and I am sure that if you only told them about who you are, they would be ready to tell the other rebels about it. It could be the thing that would finally unite everyone.”</p>
<p>“And Renado and Shad managed to be so obvious about what they were doing that the king noticed and burnt down the entire village, so, forgive me, but I am not exactly in a hurry to place the fate of everyone within this base in their hands when they could not even keep their own village safe.”</p>
<p>“That is not fair. It wasn’t their fault; you can’t blame them for it.”</p>
<p>She was right. Midna knew that. Of course she could not actually blame them for the fact that she could still smell the ash and burning meat each time she breathed in through her nose, just as she could not blame the destruction of Ordon Village on anyone but the king. But admitting that right now, with how Zelda was clearly trying her best to convince her that her plan might just have become a little bit more realistic, would only serve to make Zelda even more certain about her position in regards to the question of whether to act or not.</p>
<p>With a shrug, Midna pretended not to care. “And the world isn’t fair either, Zelda, that is just the way it is. Ganondorf has the better weapons, the loyal soldiers, and the best airships. Therefore he is the strongest, and nothing we could ever hope to do will be enough to change that.”</p>
<p>It would have been naïve to think that something as insignificant as the reality of the situation they were in would ever have been enough to stop Zelda, but Midna still found herself surprised by the way Zelda simply smiled at it all, acting almost like Midna had just told her the funniest story.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Zelda said, “you would have been right about how we would not have had much of a chance if Ganondorf’s military really was as strong as he makes it look.”</p>
<p>Midna frowned. “What do you mean? It is strong, I have seen it first-hand. When he orders a village gone, it is gone the next day. When he feels like someone has done a thing they should not have done, he makes sure that they will not live to make the same mistake twice. If he decides that he needs more coal for all of his airships and he sees that the Twilight Realm has plenty of coal in their mines, he simply pretends that there has been a coup d’état there, allowing him to arrive and pretend to be the hero who is there to restore order. All of that requires a strong army.”</p>
<p>“No.” Zelda shook her head. “No, it really does not. Most of what he does—I am sure that it is only a way for him to try to hide the fact that the army is stretched out so much that even the smallest attack should be enough to make it all fall over.” she paused, looking over at Midna, clearly waiting for her reaction. And this time, the fact that Midna remained silent was not her way of telling Zelda that the idea was so ridiculous she was not even able to respond to it. Rather, it was simply the effect of how she was not able to both argue with her and try to make sense of what she was saying. But, no matter the reason, it was still enough to give Zelda the chance to continue, and that was exactly what she did. “Look, Midna, he may have tried to hide the truth from me, but I have sat down and thought it through; there is no way he would be able to stay in power if anyone ever were to find out about how weak Hyrule’s military really is.”</p>
<p>Finally, Midna’s mind caught up with what was happening, and she levelled a glare at Zelda, trying her best to show her just how little she thought of the fantasy Zelda had constructed where they might honestly be able to do something to avenge everyone. “And how do you know this? You said it yourself, the king did not share his struggles and strategies with you, so what are you basing this conclusion on? Because if you are trying to convince me to try to argue for your dream of revealing the fact that I am alive to the world, I hope that you have a lot of evidence to support your theory.”</p>
<p>Already from the moment Zelda hesitated, a little sigh escaping her, Midna knew what the answer would be. It was obvious after all; they had been naïve to think otherwise. Still, as much as she hated to recognise the feeling for what it was, Midna felt the disappointment of realising that Zelda really would not be able to present any strong pieces of evidence to help her. It was not a matter of her having actually wanted to reveal her existence to the world, but Midna could not deny that part of her felt almost like she owed it to the maid, to Rusl, to everyone who had died in an attempt at getting back the Twilight Realm, really. It was illogical, did not make any sense, but that was, nevertheless, the only reason Midna could find that would explain the way her heart ached as she moved to push past Zelda.</p>
<p>She did not get the chance to walk two steps before Zelda had grabbed her wrist. Despite her eagerness, Zelda was still not completely able to compete with Midna when it came to sheer strength, years of lifting up heavy sacks and having to steer a ship, had, along with her height alone, taken care of that, but it was still enough to make Midna stop, turning around to send her an expectant glare.</p>
<p>“Midna, I do actually have a reason to believe this,” Zelda said, the words coming out as a jumbled mess, “I—when we first met, back on the ship, do you know where I was going, the reason why I was on that ship, I mean?”</p>
<p>“I am not exactly in the mood for some kind of game,” Midna retorted, but as Zelda maintained eye contact, refusing to look away no matter how harsh Midna’s gaze must have been, she found herself with no other choice, but to continue, letting out a demonstrative sigh as she did so, “all right, then, if you really want me to guess that badly. I suppose that you must have been there because you had to… I don’t know, maybe visit some other kingdom.”</p>
<p>Midna had meant to roll her eyes, making sure that there could not be any doubt about how little she thought about the game Zelda had made her play, but as Zelda responded, she found that she could not tear her gaze away from her.</p>
<p>“You are not wrong, not completely at least. I was actually sailing to Labrynna. I—my father had decided that I would marry the crown prince of the kingdom.”</p>
<p>The words made sense, Logically, Midna could understand what Zelda was telling her, but that did not change the fact that she found herself stumbling over the words, almost like her brain refused to assign them their correct meaning.</p>
<p>“Marry—the prince?” she stuttered, already painfully aware of how she was not exactly doing a great job at trying to explain to Zelda how this was not their fight to fight.</p>
<p>“Yes, the crown prince, Ralph,” Zelda repeated. It was not what Midna had meant, but if Zelda would misinterpret the reason for why such a small comment had been enough to render Midna a stuttering mess, she would not be the one to tell her the real reason, not when Zelda was not even waiting for her to say something, instead adding, “considering all of that, the fact that I was flying over there to marry the crown prince, don’t you think it was a bit strange that the ship could be so poorly guarded that you were not only able to find me, but to also make it back to the deck alive?”</p>
<p>It was. As Midna thought about it, tried to recall exactly what had happened back then so many months ago, she could not deny that, with how much time she had spent looking for the secret door, how she had gone through the narrow corridor, entering a room with only one way out, she should have been caught.</p>
<p>“It is. There should have been more guards, enough to make it so that it would not have been possible for me to even get near you.”</p>
<p>“Exactly!” Zelda’s eyes sparkled as she moved closer to her, bringing her hand that was still clutching Midna’s up to her chest. “There wasn’t enough guards with me, despite the fact that I was travelling to a neighbouring kingdom to marry the crown prince.”</p>
<p>“But couldn’t that just have been a coincidence? Maybe Ganondorf just didn’t realise that we would not be frightened by the fact that he had sent a couple of guards?” even as she said it, Midna could hear how her own doubt seeped into the words, revealing how no one, not even her, would ever believe that explanation.</p>
<p>At least Zelda did not make her feel even stupider than she already did, simply brushing the explanation aside like it did not even deserve to be mentioned. “Perhaps. I suppose I might have been able to believe that it did not mean anything, had it not been for the fact that my father had talked about my marriage for months on end. The day I left, I don’t think I have ever seen him as tense as he was when he told me that I was not allowed to ruin anything. And although I suppose that the fact that I, as the princess of Hyrule, do represent him as well might be able to explain some of it, I am sure that it was not a coincidence that he had spent months trying to convince Queen Ambi that I would be the right match for her son.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Think, Midna. He has a giant kingdom, half of which is actually the Twilight Realm, a place where he can lie all he wants to, but there will still be people who resent him, and there is Labrynna, home of the perhaps most advanced military we know of, just south of Hyrule. It would be great for him if he would be able to ensure that he would never end up in a situation where Labrynna might get a reason to declare war on Hyrule. If he could get his daughter on the throne, he would have achieved just that.” Zelda sent her a grin, but even that was not enough to really do anything to make the atmosphere any less tense between them. “So I suppose that you might earn some of the credit for how that never became reality, considering the fact that I would no doubt be in Labrynna right now, unable to do anything, had it not been for the fact that you had made it so that the ship had to turn around for supplies, giving me the chance to both reflect on what you had said and come up with a plan as for how to get the chance to see for myself if there was any truth to what you had told me about the king.”</p>
<p>“By sneaking onto a ship of a group of people you had every reason to think were pirates.” Midna could not keep a smile off her lips. “Why did you not tell me that you also had the threat of a marriage to a complete stranger to drive you to do that? I thought you were unable to comprehend the consequences of both your own and other’s actions for the longest time. I was so sure that I would have to spend so much time making sure that you would not be given the chance to do anything stupid that would have given away our position.”</p>
<p>Zelda might have shrugged, but the nonchalance of the gesture was not enough to hide the fact that she was blushing. “It would not exactly have been an altruistic reason, now would it?”</p>
<p>“No, it would not, but it might have made me trust you earlier.”</p>
<p>“So that means that you trust me and my plan now?”</p>
<p>At that, the way Zelda was able to ask the question like it was the most natural thing in the world, Midna could not help but to laugh. “I trust you. I never mentioned your plans. Besides, if you had been in Labrynna now, you would have been able to free Hyrule and the Twilight Realm then. You would have gained a large amount of power by becoming the queen of a country with the great military power you are speaking of.”</p>
<p>The change happened instantly, Zelda looking away, the smile dying on her lips. “But…” Zelda breathed, her voice having grown small, “if you were able to go back to change anything, you would not have made it so that I would have gone back to the ship, right? You would not have made it happen so that I would now be in Labrynna with Ralph, would you?”</p>
<p>No. Midna could say without even a shadow of a doubt that she would never change anything about the situation. Zelda could potentially have found another way to reach her goals, a way that might lead to something other than all of them dying for a doomed cause, but as she looked over at her, tried to imagine what her life would have been like had Zelda not staged the fight to give herself time to make her way up onto the Shadow, she knew that she would not have changed anything.</p>
<p>“No, I suppose I wouldn’t.” Midna tried to sigh, but as Zelda looked back up at her, the hope returning to her eyes, she found it impossible to even fake it. “You might have possessed more power if you were married to Ralph, but… for what it is worth, I am happy that you are here.”</p>
<p>“It is worth a lot to me.”</p>
<p>She had meant to say something, had meant to return to the fact that, no matter what, the discussion was pointless, they could not change the past, but as Zelda reached out, grabbing both her hands, Midna found all words disappearing from her vocabulary at once, leaving her unable to do more than to let out a sound of incoherent stuttering.</p>
<p>“Well,” she finally managed to force out, hoping that she was simply imagining that her voice was becoming shakier with every word, “no matter what value it might hold to you, fact is that we are wasting our time by continuing to discuss this subject. We are not able to get you to Labrynna to marry the prince and gain access to the army, nor do I want for us to use you like a chess piece.” Zelda had looked like she was about to say something, but at that, she fell silent again, so many emotions flickering over her face—joy, sadness, disappointment, hope—that Midna could not make sense of it all, instead choosing to push it away, focusing on what little she was still sure of as she continued. “Zelda, there is nothing I would love to do more than to believe in your dreams of a better world. Truly, if there was even the slightest chance that it would end up achieving anything other than everyone involved in the attack being killed, I would be more than ready to risk my life for it, to use what little sway the fact that I am related to my mother might hold to give us a little bit more power, but don’t you see? It is hopeless.”</p>
<p>“It really is not.” almost like she wanted to prove a point to Midna about how she was able to not lose courage even when facing impossible odds, Zelda simply pulled her closer towards herself. Pausing for a moment to tuck a stray strand of hair back behind her ears, Zelda’s gaze landed directly on her, making Midna feel almost like she was able to look directly into her soul. “Midna, I promise you that we will be able to change things. We just have to try. As long as we fight for something that is bigger than us, we cannot lose.”</p>
<p>More than anything, Midna wished that she would be able to laugh at her, to make sure that there was no doubt left about exactly what she thought of the idea, but she couldn’t. She could not laugh at Zelda, she could not ridicule her ideas, her ideals, and beliefs.</p>
<p>Instead, she shook her head, the movement being so small that she doubted anyone who had not been standing as close to her as Zelda did in that moment would even have noticed it. “Zelda, what we are talking about here—it is not just some game. If we actually set out to overthrow the king, it would mean that we cannot afford to leave him alive. Could you do that? Would you be able to kill your own father if it came to that?” Midna had hardly reached the end of the sentence before Zelda opened her mouth, having her answer ready already, but Midna simply tightened her grip on her hand a little as she continued. “No, I want you to think about it. No one here would ever blame you for admitting that you would not be able to do that, least of all me. I just have to ask you if you know what your plans would entail, if you would be ready to go through with it.”</p>
<p>This time, Zelda waited for a few seconds before answering, but barely more than that.</p>
<p>The fire in her eyes burnt brighter than both the flames that had surrounded Ordon and Kakariko as Zelda leant in towards her, coming so close to Midna that she would feel the warmth radiating from her. “No. I would not be able to kill someone. That is why I will need you at my side.”</p>
<p>She was not a weapon. She was not someone to be brought along simply to make sure that the king really would die. Midna was many things, but she was not an assassin.</p>
<p>However, as she looked down at Zelda and saw the determination in her eyes, those truths were not among the words that rolled off Midna’s tongue. “Very well. I will do my best to try to convince the council to do as you have suggested.”</p>
<p>As Zelda’s face lit up, a smile brighter than the sun instantly greeting Midna, she could only hope that the fire would be more like the one that allowed the Shadow to fly than those that had been allowed to devour both Ordon and Kakariko.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have bit more of Zelda's past as well as what might turn out to be their only chance of finally overthrowing the king of Hyrule.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Midna, are you all right?” as she looked up at him, Link shot her an apologetic look. “I am sorry, but it is just—well, you don’t really look all that calm, not when you are pacing around in the corridor.”</p>
<p>It would have been easy to look at him and say that he did not just not understand what was going through her head in that moment, that she had plenty to worry about without also having to question what Link might think about her and her way of handling the fact that, in only a few moments, she would have to convince an entire room of the people she had saved from the fate of having to pay for one of their neighbour’s mistakes with their lives that they should risks their lives once more for a dream that was most likely not attainable. More than anything, Midna wished that she could be cold, uncaring, enough to do exactly that, but then she looked up at Link and knew better.</p>
<p>“No, I suppose I might not be,” she confessed, shaking her head, “I just—I don’t know what to do. If they agree—I can’t even begin to imagine what would happen. We would have to actually come up with a plan—or what if they are expecting for me to have created a plan to present to them already?”</p>
<p>Instantly, her heartrate seemed to pick up on the idea that there might be something she had failed to consider, her heart skipping a beat as it got ready to supply every muscle in her body with oxygen, adrenaline mixing with the sheer energy of panicking. She couldn’t—it would not be possible for her to go in there, not when she knew full well that her plan sounded hopeless. After all, how many months had she not spent telling Zelda the exact same thing? Midna did not know the exact number, but, already, she knew that it was enough to make it near impossible for her to convince any of the other residents that they should allow her to put them all in danger for a dream she had allowed Zelda to convince her could become reality if they only tried enough times. She might have—she could have doomed—they would never allow her to finish her speech.</p>
<p>“Hey!” the next moment, her panicked thoughts were interrupted as Link reached out to pat her on the shoulder. “Midna, I promise you that everything is going to be all right. They are going to listen to you, I promise you that much, and, if nothing else, you will go into that room knowing that I am on your side.”</p>
<p>“You are?” maybe she should have known in advance, maybe she sounded incredibly stupid as she looked up at Link, but somewhere deep down, Midna had always assumed that all Link’s talk about how they might have to act, showing Ganondorf that they were there, ready to fight against him, had been just that—talk, a lot of fancy words and dreams that Link would never act upon. But now, it would seem that, if nothing else, she would at least have Link on her side already, simply by virtue of her having finally moved to stand next to Zelda in the discussion of what to do.</p>
<p>“Of course I am.” Link smiled, pulled her a little closer, into a hug that was so tight that Midna was sure he could feel how her heart was threatening to jump out of her chest. “I am always going to be on your side, even if I did not agree with you about this issue. But that does not matter, not right now at least, for I am always going to be for the idea of us finally doing something to show Ganondorf that he cannot continue this way, burning down the villages of every single person who has ever done something he did not agree with.”</p>
<p>The way he said it, how he had waited for this moment for longer than Midna had even realised, quite possibly for years, long before Zelda had ever arrived, was not lost on Midna, her already frantic state becoming just a little bit worse as she struggled to find the words to apologise for having been so stubborn, insisting that they would have to stay in the base for all those years.</p>
<p>“Link, I—I know that I can’t say that I didn’t know about it, but I—I am sorry. I don’t think I had realised just how much you wanted this.”</p>
<p>Before she would have had to try to handle Link’s response, before she would have embarrassed herself even more, making it even more unlikely that she wold be able to handle the thought of going in to convince the council that they should trust her, one of the youngest people in the room, to lead them, Cremia turned around the corner, walking through the corridor, taking long, goal-oriented steps towards them. Moments later, Midna realised the reason for that as she saw how Romani was hiding behind her older sister, clutching her hand as she peeked out from behind the safety of her sister’s skirt. Midna tried to smile at her, realising that she had made a mistake the second Romani responded by quickly stepping to the side once more, letting the fabric hide her from Midna again.</p>
<p>At least she did not get the chance to think about it for too long, as Cremia walked over to her, her presence demanding Midna’s attention, making her unable to fret over the question of what Romani’s reaction had meant.</p>
<p>“Midna, thank the goddesses! I was told that I could find you here, but I was not quite sure if we would be able to reach you before the meeting would have begun.” Cremia spoke quickly, clearly torn between the need to explain why she had arrived to interrupt their conversation and getting it over with to give what would come next as much time as possible. “I am sorry if this is a bad moment, but my sister,” she gestured towards where Midna could see that Romani was pulling at her skirt, the younger sister finally stepping out from behind her again, “she really wanted to talk with you, and, well, considering what I heard about the subject you are going to discuss at this meeting, I did not want to risk it and wait until it was already over. But…” she sent a glance in Link’s direction, “if you were in the middle of something important, we can easily wait.”</p>
<p>“No, no let us just hear it now.” it was not even really about the way they had saved her from having to come face to face with the fact that, despite everything that had happened, it still felt unreal to think about how she, in only a few, short minutes, would have to step into the meeting room and try to defend the idea of them fighting to overthrow the king that made Midna crouch down, trying to make herself smaller to seem more approachable for Romani, though it would have been the simplest explanation. “Just… what did you want to talk to me about?”</p>
<p>She had halfway expected for Cremia to be the one to answer the question, but as Midna kept looking over at Romani, she could almost see how the same kind of foolish courage that must have been the reason she had ever got the idea to attack the king’s soldiers in an attempt at protecting their ranch in the first place shone through on her face, Romani letting go of Cremia’s skirt, standing on her own as she looked over at her. “Romani heard that you might have to leave this base if you are able to convince the old people about it,” Romani said, tilting her head to the side just a bit to make it seem like she did not already know the answer to that, “is that true?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” next to her, Midna could see how Link was fidgeting, trying to keep himself from telling her that maybe it was not a good idea to share their plans with a little girl, but also not able to hide the fact that he did not agree with her plan to do exactly that, but that did not keep Midna from continuing. If anything ended up going wrong, if they would never return to the base again, Romani deserved better than to be left alone without any idea of what had happened, having to stay where she was, hoping and praying that they might come back soon. Of course, if the worst was to happen, she would have her sister with her; she would not be left completely alone, but that did not change the fact that Midna could not make herself lie to her, not even by omission. “I am going to go into that meeting room in just a couple of minutes and try my best to convince the council that we should go against Ganondorf, that we should prepare ourselves to be able to fight, to have to try to use what little power we have to fight alongside the people who share our dreams.”</p>
<p>To Midna’s surprise, Romani did not seem scared at all. But, as she realised when she looked into her eyes, it had nothing to do with any chance of Romani not understanding the full extent of the consequences that might follow if the council decided to listen to Midna. Instead, Romani looked almost excited at the prospect of them actively fighting back against Ganondorf, moving to look up at her sister, a bright smile already present on her face when she looked back over at Midna. “So we might be able to go home soon? We could return to our farm?”</p>
<p>She knew what she should have said, what Link would have told her. There was no doubt in Midna’s mind that the reason Link was standing right next to her in that moment, looking almost like he was ready to shove his entire fist into his mouth if that was what it would take for him not to interrupt her, was that he wanted to assure her that, yes, soon, Romani would be able to return to her ranch with her sister and Grog. But that would have been a lie, and if there was one thing Midna was sure about, it was that she would not be able to leave a little child behind with a lie, no matter how well-intentioned it might have been.</p>
<p>So, making sure that she was looking directly at Romani, Midna shook her head. “I can’t promise you that. I would love to, but I simply can’t. There is a chance that you might be able to return to your ranch soon, but this could also be the thing that will bring an end to the safety we have enjoyed here. By this time next week, there might very well not be a base here anymore, but I will do my best to ensure that you and your sister will be back at your ranch, safe and happy. I just want you to know that I will not be able to promise you that that is what will happen.”</p>
<p>“And we understand that,” Cremia interjected, taking Romani’s hand. Sitting down to look directly at her, she gestured towards Midna, “don’t we, Romani?”</p>
<p>“Romani does.” and despite everything, despite the fact that she had yet to grow used to Romani’s habit of referring to herself in the third person, Midna knew that she was telling her the truth as she added. “But she hopes that you will succeed. Maybe then we can go visit Anju again.”</p>
<p>Cremia let out a laugh that sounded only a little forced as her little sister looked up at her with wide eyes. “Yes, maybe we can go visit Anju and Kafei again. But for that to happen, Midna here will need to be able to collect her thoughts before the meeting will begin, so we should give her some space to do that.”</p>
<p>Before Midna got the chance to protest, to tell Cremia that what she needed the most right then was actually for someone to be there with her, providing her with a way to distract her brain to keep herself from agonising over the fact that she still doubted she would be able to convince the council to trust her, Cremia had begun to walk away, Romani following along beside her. And, although she did look back over her shoulder for a moment, Romani did not try to stay for a moment longer, soon leaving Midna and Link alone in the hallway again.</p>
<p>“So,” Link began once Cremia and Romani were out of earshot, having turned around the corner, “you just told her about the fact that this might be the end for this entire base.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know.” Midna groaned, barely able to keep herself from reaching up to tuck at a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked over at Link, already knowing how she would be met with a disapproving glare. “I know that I should probably just have let her believe that I knew what I was doing, that nothing bad would happen, but it just would have felt too much like a lie.”</p>
<p>“No, you misunderstood me.” as Midna looked over at him, moving her head so quickly that a sharp pain flared up in her neck, she was met with a little, unsure smile. “You actually made it sound like you were at least somewhat confident that we had a chance. If you are able to explain the plan just half as well as you did there once we are in that room, I am sure that everyone will have no choice but to agree with you.”</p>
<p>“So I just need to do as well as when I tried to explain to a child that we might all die very soon? Great, well I should be able to do that.” Midna had not meant for it to sound so pessimistic, but although she could hear exactly how her voice betrayed her, letting her anxiousness shine through, she could not stop herself.</p>
<p>That fact was not lost on Link, and he soon stepped over to her, extending his hand to her. As he pulled her back up from where she was still kneeling on the floor, he did not let go of her hand again, not even as she stood in front of him, once more a head taller than him. Instead, he tried his best to smile, still not able to completely hide his doubts about what was to come as he shook his head. “Midna, I know that you will do just fine. Almost everyone in the room are more than ready for us to do something, they have just been waiting for you to say the word. Besides, didn’t you say that Renado and Shad already had a plan detailing what to do?”</p>
<p>The memory of the impromptu meeting, the way they had made the week pass with discussions with the two, Midna having to bite her lip to keep herself from telling them exactly how optimistic their plans had been, how much they would have to change about them to give them just a little bit of a chance of actually being able to succeed, instantly made Midna just that more doubtful about whether she would be able to win people over onto her side. Right then, the fact that, if Link was right, she might not have to fight as hard as she had thought was the only thing keeping her from simply giving up, running away from it all and leaving the responsibility of trying to keep everyone alive to someone else. It was not right that she was the one in the meeting to hold the most power, not when she was also among the youngest.</p>
<p>“I know.” it should have been a lie, but as Midna whispered the words, she realised that there was no need for her to force them out. She knew that, no matter what, after the harsh winter, after all the winters they had barely been able to make it through, people would be more than ready to believe anything, as long as it would give them hope that they might be able to leave the mountain, that this would be the last time they would have to wait for spring to arrive, hoping that they would be able to make their food last for enough time to survive. “I just… if Rusl was here, he would know what to do. He would be able to go in there and know exactly what to say. I can’t help but feel that, no matter what I do, he would always have been able to do it better than me, to be better at convincing people to trust him.”</p>
<p>“I know.” it was almost an relief that Link did not try to convince her that she was wrong, that she was just as good as Rusl at convincing people to follow her and her dreams. “But now, we might be able to avenge him. I am sure this is what he would have wanted.”</p>
<p>Midna did not have to ask to know that Link was not referring to the fact that they might possibly die, but rather the atmosphere that had grown to fill the entirety of the base during that last week, the kind of excited chatter that had followed her wherever she had been as the rumours of how she was planning to try to convince the council that they would have to act now, that they should try to go against Ganondorf, had got out.</p>
<p>Before she got the chance to respond, the door opened, Jaggle stepping out of the meeting room.</p>
<p>Trying her best to make it look like she had not been mere seconds away from completely losing the last bit of hope that she might be able to leave the room without having made sure that the dream of finally being able to leave the mountain would remain just that, a dream, Midna stood up a bit straighter and looked directly at him as Jaggle gestured towards the room behind him.</p>
<p>“Midna. We are waiting for you.”</p>
<p>The only thing that kept Midna from fleeing from both the room, the prospect of having to tell the same people she had once promised she would keep safe that she wanted them to risk their lives for nothing, and the ominous remark that Jaggle had seemingly decided would be the right way to ask her to enter the room, was the fact that Link was there next to her. If not, she was not sure that she would have been able to go into the room, walking alone to table, past the rest of the council, until she reached the only vacant chairs in the room—the one at the end of the table and the chair directly to the right of it.</p>
<p>Sitting down, it felt a little too much like she had just taken her seat as the leader of it all, but she pushed the feeling away. Thinking too much about things would do nothing good for her now. It would only make her even more likely to panic and leave the room, showing exactly why the others should not believe her.</p>
<p>In that moment, it was almost a relief that she was not only there to convince them to believe in her dream, instead representing the dream that both Zelda, Renado, and Shad had worked on convincing her could become reality, as it kept her from fully considering running out of the room as an option for her. And, maybe, if Link had been right, she would have more allies in the room than just them. Although Midna wanted to say that she did not need that, that she would be able to fight for the idea even if she had been on her own, it did help to tell herself that she was not alone, allowing her to make her heart beat a little slower as the rest of the council looked towards her.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she began, her voice sounding incredible small in the otherwise silent room, “first of all, I just want to thank everyone in this room for coming. I know—I know…” she looked towards the other end of the table. With how they had been placed as far away from her as they could possibly get, it could not have been more obvious that Shad and Renado were not exactly part of the council, not yet, but it still gave her a bit of strength to look towards them and know that they knew what the plan was. Clearing her throat, Midna tried to recall everything Zelda had told her about how to talk to people, how to make herself seem more confident, letting the people around her know that they could trust her to know what to do, that she had it all under control, “I know that there has been a lot of rumours during the last week about what I was talking with Zelda about. And Renado and Shad as well, of course. So let me make it clear. What I am planning is for us to attempt to overthrow the king, something that might very well lead to nothing other than the death of everyone in this base.”</p>
<p>“Do you have a plan for how to achieve this?” Hanch had gone to stand up, looking directly over at her.</p>
<p>“Yes. I—we have a plan. Shad?”</p>
<p>Shad rose immediately, and for once, Midna could not be anything other than grateful for the fact that he seemed to be prepared for anything, leaning in over the table the next moment, somehow managing to seem more confident than her despite the fact that no one really knew him, that he had not exactly given them any reason to trust him other than having lived among them for a little week.</p>
<p>“As I am sure you know, Renado, Luda, and I came here from Kakariko Village after Ganondorf had ordered his soldiers to destroy it all in an attempt at ensuring that we and our work would not survive. But since it failed, I was able to save the map we had been working on for years, a map that details ever corner of Hyrule Castle. With this map, we would be able to get a group into the castle that would then be able to know their way around in there. Then, they would have the best chance of bringing an end to Ganondorf’s reign.”</p>
<p>“How?” this time, Jaggle was the one to speak.</p>
<p>“By making sure that both the king and the crown prince would not be left in a state where they would be able to rule.” Shad said the words so calmly that Midna was almost able to forget about the fact that they were discussing whether or not they would try to murder two people, making it sound almost like they would simply arrive at the castle to have a calm conversation about the state of the kingdoms with the king. “Once we have done that, Zelda will be next in live. With her on the throne, we will have the power to free the Twilight Realm and return home without fear of soldiers coming after us.”</p>
<p>Fado looked over at him. “How? How will you do all of this? How exactly will you get people into the castle?”</p>
<p>“Zelda. She thinks that she might be able to get one of us into the castle.”</p>
<p>“And how does she intend to do that? Not even to mention the fact that we will have to figure out which one of us will be the one to accompany her. I am not saying that you have not thought this through completely, but you must be able to see that it will be incredibly dangerous for that one person.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>There was something almost magical about the effect Midna’s words had, how everyone turned to look at her as she stood up, remembering everything Zelda had told her, lowering her shoulders, letting her chin be held up high, but not too high, just as Zelda had shown her. The effect was not one she could deny, not when it was about more than just the rest of the room instantly turning to look at her.</p>
<p>As Midna spoke, she could hear how her voice stopped shaking, growing more and more confident as time passed without her having made any major mistake. “Zelda and I, we will be the ones to try to make our way into the castle. If you agree to let us do this, we are both prepared to leave in a couple of days and make our way over to the nearest town. There, we will find the guards, tell them about Zelda’s identity and give them a lie about how I was the person to save her. That way, Zelda will be able to demand that I should be brought back to Hyrule Castle along with her to ensure that they will be able to reward me for saving the princess.”</p>
<p>The plan felt unfinished, Midna could hear it, but she continued, hoping that if she just ignored the way the holes in it seemed gaping to her, the rest of the council might ignore the fact that she would not be able to explain exactly how they were intending to make their way over to a town without first being attacked by soldiers who would not recognise their princess in time, much less exactly how they were planning to find the opportunity to kill both the king and crown prince. Even once they were inside the castle, Midna was not optimistic enough to believe that such an opportunity would be given to them on a silver platter.</p>
<p>But, as Midna realised the moment the murmurs began to pass around the table, she was not that lucky.</p>
<p>Really, Fado only confirmed the feeling when he looked back over at her, the deep crease between his eyebrows telling her everything she needed to know about his position on the plan already before he had leant in, an apologetic smile tucking at his lips as he shook his head. “I am sorry, but am I the only one who thinks that it sounds like a bad idea to send Zelda along with you?” looking around the table, it was clear that he tried to find support from the rest of the room. “I am not saying that I doubt her, but this—we are talking about murdering her father and brother. Are you sure that she will be able to go through with it in the end?”</p>
<p>“No, she won’t do that, and none of us are in any position to say that she should be able to do it. That is why I will come along as well—I believe that there is not a single person in here who does not believe me when I say that I will not hesitate to do what I have to, should I get the chance.”</p>
<p>“Of course not.” her sharp tone of voice was not lost on Fado, not as he instantly backed down, already holding his hands up in front of him, trying to apologise. “I was just thinking that it might not be a good idea for us to send her to kill her own family. It will not feel right, no matter how well-earned it will be. But you are saying that Zelda has accepted this plan, that she has accepted that you will come along with her with the purpose of the mission being to give you the chance to kill the king and crown prince?”</p>
<p>Midna opened her mouth, but before she had said anything, Link had already beaten her to it, moving to stand up. “If you would want us to, I am sure that Zelda would be more than ready to join us and assure you that she has agreed to this plan. Most of it was, after all, her idea.”</p>
<p>As the room was filled with whispers, Midna could hear how that little snippet of information, the fact that the princess had been the one to come up with the plan, had made the entire mission appear a little less safe. But there was no use in being angry at the rest of the council, not when Midna could easily understand why they would hesitate to risk their lives for a plan the princess of Hyrule had thought of, so, although it was frustrating to hear how the dream was beginning to slip away from her, the others no longer making it sound like it was a matter of simply asking a few questions more, but instead making it obvious how they would now have to prove that Zelda really was trying her best to heighten their chances, Midna turned to Link rather than the rest of the room.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?” she snapped at him.</p>
<p>Link simply sent her a short smile. “You will see, trust me.” with that, he turned back to the council. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to find Zelda.”</p>
<p>He left her behind, Midna instantly having to fight to not give in to the urge of hiding under the table. They were right; they were doing the right thing. Now, it was just a matter of convincing everyone else of the same thing.</p>
<p>However, it was difficult to remind herself of that when Jaggle turned towards her the moment Link had left the room, already prepared to try to find the points where the plan was not as robust as she would have liked it to be. “So, Midna, do you have a plan that will allow you to reach this town? Do you even know which town you are going to go to or will it just be the first one you are able to reach?”</p>
<p>She was losing control over the situation; Midna could feel it, hear it from the way the murmurs seemed to generally express a shared concern over those exact questions. “No,” she began, having to clear her throat. Now was the moment to remember what Zelda had taught her, but even as Midna tried her best to stand up straight, it did not make her feel much more confident, her voice beginning to tremble again, “or, well, that is, we have planned to set out for Clock Town. It will be the town that is closest to us, making it so that, even though we have to cross the Eldin Mountains, it will still be the shortest distance to cover on foot.”</p>
<p>“And how do you intend to make it to Clock Town without being spotted by the king’s soldiers?” this time it was Hanch who asked. The fact that he sounded like he asked simply because he was concerned for their safety and not because he wanted to be against the plan as a whole only made Midna feel even worse than she would otherwise have done. If it had been a case of her having to show him that he was wrong, at least she would have had a clear and precise goal. Now, when she had to try to convince a group of people who had already lost everything simply because they had lived close to someone who had gone against the king that her plan would be different, she found herself at a loss for words.</p>
<p>She was saved from having to come to terms with the horrible realisation that she had no idea about what she was doing by Link.</p>
<p>Throwing the door open, he stepped into the room, Zelda following right behind him. But, as Midna saw only a moment later, they were not alone. No, Cremia and Romani were following along right behind them, Romani clutching Cremia’s hand as they followed Link and Zelda through the room.</p>
<p>The moment Link was standing next to her, the second she decided that she could send him a signal, a subtle question about just what he was doing, Midna did just that. Link simply smiled down at her, shaking his head ever so slightly. The meaning could not have been clearer. She should relax and trust him, trust that he knew what she was doing. And Midna did that. She knew that, of all of them, Link was probably the one who had the best odds of being able to convince the rest of the council, with how he was still the hero who had arrived when they had needed one the most, offering them a safe place to stay, good at talking, and simply better than Midna at keeping track of the plan.</p>
<p>“I found Zelda,” Link said, the way he motioned towards Zelda only making it all the more obvious, “I am sorry about the fact that it took so long, but I ran into someone on the way, someone who offered to help with the plan. Cremia?”</p>
<p>From her spot next to her, Midna could see how Cremia had reached out, grabbing the back of Link’s chair so tightly that her knuckles became white, but, thankfully, it did not look like it would be noticeable to anyone who did not sit right behind her, having just the right angle to see how nervous Cremia was as everyone in the room turned to look at her.</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Cremia looked down at the table in front of her as she began to speak. “Yes, as Link said, I think that I may be able to help with the plan.” the pause that followed her words was horrible, tense and awkward, and with how Cremia blushed, her ears becoming red, it was clear that she had noticed it as well. But, if nothing else, Midna had to admit that she could admire her courage, for, instead of completely losing heart, Cremia simply swallowed, blinking a little bit quicker as she continued. “Zelda told me about the plan just a few minutes ago, and from what I could understand, you are going to need someone to help you make your way over to Clock Town. Is that right?”</p>
<p>Before anyone else got the chance to respond, Zelda had already answered. “Exactly.”</p>
<p>With the encouraging tone to Zelda’s voice making her relax just a little bit, the grip around the chair becoming less tight, Cremia continued. “In that case, it would be an honour for my sister and me to be the ones to lead you to Clock Town.”</p>
<p>“Wait. Your sister?” Fado frowned. “You cannot actually be thinking about bringing your sister along. I know that you must know this, but it might be dangerous—”</p>
<p>“You are right. I do know that.” Cremia’s tone did not leave any doubt about the fact that, even though Midna had known Fado for enough time to rule out the possibility of him having meant to offend her with the question, she had taken it as an insult. “I know first-hand how dangerous such a journey can be. And that is why I know that Zelda and Midna will need someone who knows the way to go with them to make sure that it will not take any more time than what is absolutely necessary. And, given the fact that Grog is still not in a place where he would be able to handle both the physical and mental burden of such a mission and Romani will not allow me to leave her behind, we are the only ones here who will be able to do that. But, even if that had not been the case, I would still have offered to help. To help with the mission, to be a part of the reason for why the king fell in the end… it would be the biggest honour I could ever imagine. Even if it fails, I will be proud to have helped.”</p>
<p>As Cremia stepped back, looking out over the table, Midna could almost feel how they might just have secured their victory. Who would have thought that all it would take would be to bring Cremia into the room, that, after everything Zelda had tried to tell her about how she had to stand and speak, how to make it seem like she had everything under control, it would be Cremia’s outburst after Fado had accidentally implied that she was bringing her sister into dangerous territory that would make the difference? Midna hadn’t. But then again, given how Zelda had seemingly been the one to bring Cremia and Romani along, she supposed it should not have been so surprising.</p>
<p>“So, let us pretend for a moment that we agree to try this, that we agree to risk everything to gain this one chance of being able to live freely again.” Hanch placed both hands on the table, leaning in over it slightly, just enough to look directly at Midna. “Do you believe that we will stand a chance? Do you honestly believe that it might end up with a result that is not just every single person in this base dying alongside all the people who might try to help you?” he sent a barely hidden glance in the direction of Renado and Shad, who, to Midna’s surprise, did not even respond. “Midna, I think that we all know that this is what Rusl would have wished for all of us, but what about you? You were always the first person to remind us of how our primary goal should always be to stay alive. What it is that has made you change your mind about that?” he did not have to ask the next question, not with how it was already hanging in the air. Was she able to tell them a reason that had been convincing enough to make her change her mind?</p>
<p>“I—” her throat itched, and more than anything, Midna wished that she had been able to drink a glass of water, perhaps even with a bit of honey in it—anything to make her feel like she knew what she was doing.</p>
<p>But then someone took her hand, the sheer softness of both the skin that pressed against hers and the gesture instantly letting her know that it was Zelda.</p>
<p>She didn’t need anything, not now, and as Midna rose again, she knew that everyone in the room could see it. “I found myself in a situation where I had to realise that this life that I have been living for all these years, constantly ready to flee any place at a moment’s notice, never really able to relax since I had to be prepared for an attack at any moment—it is not really a life. But it is more than just that. I have seen that there are people out there, more people than we might be able to imagine, who are ready to die for a chance of freeing the Twilight Realm.” Midna might have nodded towards Renado and Shad at that, but really, her thoughts were with the maid and the way she had not hesitated for even a moment before doing everything she could possibly have done to help her. “I knew that I would not be able to stay in here, doing nothing, while they were out there, fighting to overthrow the king. And with Zelda here, now that we both have a map of the castle and a way to get in there, I had no excuses left, no way to try to justify the fact that I was just staying here and letting others fight for me.”</p>
<p>“The Twilight Realm?” Jaggle drew his brows together. “Midna, you do realise that if we win, we would not have to stay here anymore, don’t you? We would not be dependent on this base, nor would we have to hope for the king to never find us here. So why does the fate of the Twilight Realm matter so much to you?”</p>
<p>It was the perfect moment to tell him, the perfect moment to tell everyone. Really, even if she had got the chance to do so, Midna doubted that she could have planned for it to happen in a better way. It was easy, she just had to say the words, and then she knew that she would have won the discussion, that the news about her would have reached even the most remote corners of the base within a minute after the end of the meeting. And still, she found herself struggling to open her mouth, unable to say anything even as she tried to remind herself of the fact that she had nothing to hide, that she had no reason to feel ashamed for having kept it secret for so long. It had all been a way for her to protect herself after all, it did not mean that she did not trust them; they would understand that, she knew they would. And yet, it was more than she had ever thought she would have to admit, making her shake slightly in her seat.</p>
<p>And then Zelda was there, leaning in from behind, just enough to whisper into her ear, pretending that it was not blindingly obvious to everyone that she was trying to be discreet as she muttered to her. “Hey, it is all right. I will be right here.”</p>
<p>Midna was rewarded with the sight of seeing Zelda sending her a tiny smile as she turned her head to the side, just enough to look at her. But that was all she had needed right then. Maybe it would be all she would ever need. Only time would tell that. For now, Midna instead made sure to keep her shoulders relaxed, back straight, head up, looking just as confident Zelda had shown her to look</p>
<p>Breathing in, out, she looked directly at Jaggle. “The reason I care about the Twilight Realm is that I am its princess.”</p>
<p>Instantly, chaos erupted, Jaggle simply gaping at her while others, Fado, Shad, and Hanch included, began to ask questions, raising their voices in an attempt at making sure that she had no choice but to hear them.</p>
<p>However, for once, for what felt like the first time in months, Midna knew what to do. Even if she hadn’t, Zelda would have been right behind her, still giving her hand an encouraging squeeze, as Midna yelled to make herself heard above the general noise. “My mother was the last queen of the Twilight Realm, and as such, I am its princess—that is, I would have been, had it not been for Ganondorf. And although I had abandoned the duty that came with the title for years, now, I am ready to repay everyone who has ever believed in me and my existence. For those people exist.” Midna risked a glance in Renado and Shad’s direction, not sure of what to think about the sight that met her.</p>
<p>Where Shad seemed almost as surprised as everyone around him, his mouth opening and closing, but no sound ever coming out, Renado looked almost amused, like he had guessed it already and was now just ready to lean back and watch the reaction of those around him.</p>
<p>It did not make sense, and Midna knew that trying to force it to do would only be a waste of her time, so she did not even try, instead focusing on the task at hand once more as she continued. “I have met some of them already. We can thank a maid in Hateno who recognised me for the fact that we have food and medicine now. We can than the few servants who were able to escape from the palace during the attack for how my mother survived for enough time to have an heir and the fact that we have an airship now. Really, I suppose that we should also thank Renado and Shad. Although they might not have known who I was, they were still willing to risk their lives to make this map that will now give us the chance of bringing an end to all of this. Because is that not what we want? To be able to know that it is over? If nothing else, I know that it is what I want, so, although I swear that I will not go through with this if you tell me not to, I will beg you to reconsider if you are still, as I was only a few days ago, letting your fear rule over you. Thank you.”</p>
<p>The air felt almost as tense as it did after a thundercloud had just passed around them while they were aboard the Shadow, bolts of lightning flashing around them. Then Jaggle rose, slowly looking around at the table before he nodded at Midna. “I am with you.”</p>
<p>“So am I.” this time it was Fado’s turn to rise, looking over at her with eyes that revealed how he was still not really done trying to process what she had just told him, but that he did still mean each and every word. “If all of you, Cremia, Romani, Zelda, and then you, Midna—if you are all prepared for the risks and the danger you will put yourself in, if you promise that, should the worst thing happen, you will try your best to keep yourself from giving up the location of this place no matter what might happen, then I will support you.”</p>
<p>It was only natural to assure him that, of course, she would do everything in her power to make it so that, should she be caught and brought to Hyrule Castle against her will, they would never be able to get her to tell about the base. And while Midna in that moment knew that she would do everything to make it so that the fact that Zelda repeated the promise immediately after her, Cremia and Romani chiming in as well would never be a point they would have to discuss, she knew that they were all prepared to do what it would take. Being dead was better than having to live with the knowledge that she was the person responsible for making them lose the last place in the two kingdoms where they could be safe.</p>
<p>Slowly, little by little, everyone around the table agreed with them, Renado clearly trying his best not to cry as he looked over at Romani. Midna could not claim not to understand why. With how she was still clinging to her older sister’s hand, smiling so brightly that, had Midna not been present for the entire meeting, she would have assumed that they had merely been discussing some harmless subject, whether they should try to bake a cake, making use of the sugar she had got in Hateno, Romani made it seem like they could truly win.</p>
<p>“Then, I suppose that we have reached an agreement, haven’t we?” Link said, clasping his hands together while he waited, giving everyone a chance to speak up, to disagree with him. When no one did so, he nodded, the smile already tucking at his mouth. “Great! Now, we should all try to prepare ourselves for the mission. Although only Midna, Zelda, Cremia, and Romani will actually leave this mountain, I believe that I speak for all of us when I say that I would not want to leave things unsaid now.”</p>
<p>It would have felt more appropriate for people to remain silent, for them to stay in there to share a moment of silence with each other, wordlessly trying to instil strength and courage in one another, but the moment Link had stopped speaking, the room was filled with the sound of chairs being pushed back, everyone hurrying to leave the room. As Midna found herself pushed forward, barely able to follow along after Zelda, she was certain that she could hear someone cry, but even as she tried to turn around to see who it had been, the person had either left the room or found the strength to simply let the fear build up inside, if that was even something that could be called strength without one of the two words being a lie. Midna really was not sure of anything anymore.</p>
<p>But, at last, the push from people behind her began to lessen as she made it over to the door, and finally, Midna could leave the meeting room. It should have been a relief, but rather than smiling at the prospect of never having to go in there again, Midna had to force herself to continue, not to stop at the threshold to cast one last glance over her shoulder. No matter what would come now, no matter what would happen with their plan, she would never return to this base, she knew that much already.</p>
<p>Her body was aching, but even then, Midna was sure that her mind had it worse. She was exhausted and more than anything, she just wanted to head back to her cabin. There, she could spend her last couple of days sleeping, trying her best to convince herself that she did it because her body would need all the energy it could get if she wanted to have a chance of actually being able to succeed, that it had nothing at all to do with the fact that she could still remember the way the people had looked at her, how they had whispered, eyes wide and mouths agape, when she had told them about her mother.</p>
<p>But Midna had barely made it out of the room before someone had reached out, tapping her on the shoulder.</p>
<p>Ilia. Midna knew it would be her already before she had turned around. There was no one else who moved like that, no one else who could convey as much information in just a single touch as her, letting Midna know that she had to talk with her right in that moment, that it would not be able to wait for later. But even with how it gave her a few seconds to prepare herself, as Midna turned around and saw Ilia smiling up at her, she still found herself instantly thrown back to the moment she had let it all become too much for her, beginning to yell at her.</p>
<p>The few seconds of silence felt almost like torture, Midna at once finding herself staring at Ilia, unable to tear her gaze away, taking in everything from the way Ilia was clearly struggling to smile to with the way she continued to push strands of hair out of her eyes, and still aware of the fact that Link had paused, staying behind with them while Zelda continued walking away from them, Cremia and Romani following along with her.</p>
<p>But then Ilia began to speak, and while it felt almost like Midna should not have been able to recognise her after all those weeks, her voice was the exact same as it had always been as she looked up at her.</p>
<p>“Hi. I—Link told me about what you would try to do, and, well, I was thinking that you might want to have someone standing out here who would support you no matter what. No, you know what, that was a lie.” Ilia shook her head, the smile disappearing along with the cheery attitude. “Truth to be told, I—goddesses, Midna, is it true? Link told me that it was, but I had to hear it from you. Are you really preparing to travel to Hyrule Castle with Zelda to kill everyone standing between her and the throne?”</p>
<p>“You make it sound much worse than it really is, I mean, when have two murders ever seemed like that big of a deal to us?” but Midna could already hear how the attempt at a joke sounded flat, instead showing itself as exactly what it was—a way for her to try to pretend that she was not frightened as well.</p>
<p>“So you are really doing it? You will go to the castle to try to save us all?” Ilia might have stepped back, but with how her hands shot through the air, almost bridging the distance between them, only for Ilia to pull away the moment before she would have taken Midna’s hand, it was clear she wanted to do the exact opposite.</p>
<p>Midna smirked at her. “Yes, I know, who would have thought, me agreeing to help someone else? The next thing I know, I have probably also begun to help the wolves we catch in our traps escape.” she laughed, the sound echoing through the now almost empty corridor, making her sound just as scared and alone as she felt.</p>
<p>More than anything she wished that Ilia would not have stopped herself the moment before she would finally have been able to reach out to touch her hand. If she had just done that, if she had just given her a sign that they might be able to reach each other again despite everything that had happened, maybe it would have been easier for her to say what she knew she had to say.</p>
<p>It was most likely only something that she was imagining, a way for her mind to try to focus on something other than the fact that the thoughts where whirling around, forming a vortex, but as Midna stood there, she was almost sure that she could hear Link whisper to her that she had to continue. Maybe later she would try to tease him about it, telling him that, although he had been silent, she had grown so used to how he would always try his best to make sure that she was happy and did the right thing that she had still been able to hear him. But that would be later.</p>
<p>In that moment, when Midna finally forced herself to speak, nothing about the situation was fun, something she would ever want to think about later. “Ilia, I—”</p>
<p>But Ilia interrupted her. Any other day, it might have been a relief, but right then, Midna knew that she had been about to do the right thing. The fact that she would now have to somehow summon the strength to do so again felt almost like it was towering up in front of her, a daunting task she did not have the courage for, but considering everything that had happened between them lately, she was not exactly in a position to ask Ilia to let her finish. And so, Midna stayed silent, allowing for Ilia to cut in.</p>
<p>“Midna, if you were about to apologise for—well, I think we both know about what.” at least Ilia was not that much better than her at faking a smile, the grimace looking more like a frown than anything else. “I don’t want for you to apologise. Not when I should be the one to do it.”</p>
<p>“You?” there was no need for Midna to fake confusion, it was all genuine. “But why? You remember what happened; I was completely and utterly horrible to you—”</p>
<p>“And so was I. I should have listened to you when you told me to stop—”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t exactly like I gave you much of a chance to do that.”</p>
<p>“Maybe not, but still. These last few days, well, to be honest, I suppose it would really be these last few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think about what you were talking about all those times when you told me that you did not want for anyone to leave this mountain and the safe place you had created I here and offered to share with all of us. And, Midna, I am so sorry for how it did not realise just how much it meant to you until now. I have been a poor friend.”</p>
<p>Midna supposed she should only be grateful as Link cut in, stepping in between them, having already raised his hands up in front of him as he let out a chuckle that sounded much more sincere than any of what they had been able to make. “All right, how about this: you both agree that you are sorry about what happened and then let it end at that?”</p>
<p>The look Ilia sent Midna as she nodded could only be described as pure fondness. “Yes,” she said, “I like that suggestion very much.”</p>
<p>“So do I.”</p>
<p>“Great, then it is settled then, there is no need to thank me for any of that.” stepping back, Link reached out, not much, just enough to poke Midna in the side.</p>
<p>He had not said anything, and yet, the message could not have been clearer. Acting quickly, not giving herself a chance to change her mind, to lose courage, Midna took Ilia’s hand, sending a tiny smile, a gesture that Ilia luckily returned with one of her own.</p>
<p>And then, almost like she had just thought of something so incredibly funny that Midna might never be able to understand it, Ilia let out a little giggle and looked at her. “Actually, Midna, there was another thing I have to ask you about. Now, I am sure that it might just be rumours, but as I waited for you to exit the meeting room, I am almost certain I heard someone discuss the fact that you are the princess of the Twilight Realm. Why did they say that?”</p>
<p>Looking into Ilia’s eyes, Midna knew that she already knew the answer. Perhaps that was why it was a thousand times easier to tell it now, though Midna knew that it might also simply be due to the fact that Ilia was standing so close to her, still smiling. “That would be because I had told them that I was the Twilight Princess.”</p>
<p>Ilia’s eyes became wide, her eyebrows rising as she looked back and forth between her and Link, clearly waiting for the moment where they would laugh and tell her that they were just kidding. When that moment never came, she let out a sound that sounded halfway between a laugh and a gasp, loud and silent at the same time. “You are lying to me—you have to be! What, I can’t be alone for a few days, working on Epona to distract myself from my thoughts, without my friend having to reveal that she is really the long-lost princess of the kingdom we are currently in. How long have you known, no, how did you find out about it?”</p>
<p>As Midna tried her best to retell the story as quickly as possible without forgetting anything, Ilia’s eyes only grew wider.</p>
<p>“Really? You have known for your entire life? All this time with my friend just walking around with this knowledge, and I never once realised that there might be a connection between you and the fact that you had found this base, that you were flying around in a ship with the crest of the royal family of the Twilight Realm on the side.” turning to face Link, Ilia took a step towards him, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “How long have you known? And don’t try to tell me that you have only found out about it just now, because you are not at all surprised enough for me to believe that that is the case.”</p>
<p>“Would it help if I said that I had promised Midna not to tell anyone?”</p>
<p>“I suppose it would. Goddesses, Midna, to think that you might be the princess of an entire country, it feels almost unreal.”</p>
<p>“I know.” the lie was small enough for Midna to not feel bad at all. Sometimes, it just was better to lie, to try to pretend that she had any idea about what Ilia must be thinking right then. “But I thought that it would give me the advantage I would need. Not only did it finally bring an end to all discussions, but I know that if I only get the chance to tell the people about this, to prove that the queen really didn’t die during some coup d’état that had then prompted Ganondorf to seize control, they will rise up with us. If we are all there, if we are all fighting back, there is nothing he can do about it.”</p>
<p>“But do you have a way to prove that you really are related to your mother?”</p>
<p>That question had been one that had agonised her for years when she had been younger. However, back then, it had not been about how she wished she would have a way to show the entire world who she was. Instead, it had been about the fact that she had nothing to remind her of a mother, no pictures, no clothes, nothing. At least the fact that people would most likely not exactly be looking forward to giving up their lives for the first person stepping forwards, claiming to be the long-lost princes without being able to present any evidence to prove it, was one she could find an easier answer to, the way the maid had recognised her immediately telling Midna that there might not be any need for them to worry about it at all.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Midna said, “yes, I think I have a way to show them.”</p>
<p>“Well.” she had assumed that Ilia would be happy, but as she looked up at her again, Midna could only see concern in her eyes. “Midna, I know that I usually only tell Link this, but don’t think that it means that it does not extend to you as well. Please, promise me that you will be careful. Promise me that you will return home alive. Promise me.”</p>
<p>Had Romani told her the same thing, Midna was not sure what she would have done. Perhaps she would have lied then. But now, as she was standing in front of Ilia, she already knew that she could not do that.</p>
<p>“Ilia, you know that I can’t promise you that.”</p>
<p>The tears made Ilia’s eyes reflect the dim lightning in the hallway, but she blinked them away. “Then promise me that you will try.”</p>
<p>“Of course. I will try my best to succeed. For everyone. But don’t think that I will not be thinking of the two of you when I finally get the chance to fulfil my part of the mission.”</p>
<p>There was nothing else she could say, nothing for any of them to say or comment on, and as Link pulled them both into a hug, Midna feeling how both he and Ilia held her as close to them as she could, she knew that she could not afford to fail. Maybe it was selfish, but if being selfish was what it would take to win and return home unharmed, then Midna would be selfish.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have it, the decision to, with the help of Shad, Renado, and their contacts, actively support the rebellion.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night passed by in a blur of nightmares, each of them only lasting for what felt like a few seconds before she would find herself in another scenario. The base, left behind, only the splatters of blood on the walls telling them that there had ever been anyone there at all. Her friends trying to figure out what had happened, hoping that they had succeeded, but already knowing that it was not the case. Fire devouring everything, moving forwards along the border to consume every last centimetre of the Twilight Realm. Her mother telling her that she had failed her, that she would make it so that her sacrifice had been for nothing if she took the risk and placed herself in danger by revealing her identity. Zelda telling her that she had changed her mind and would return home now. Zelda, crying, unable to move as soldiers surrounded them. Something going wrong, a bullet that had been meant for her, Zelda lying on the ground, red pooling around them, the warm feeling of blood coating her fingers as Midna tried her best to make Zelda stay with her. Zelda, Zelda, Zelda, the name repeated in her nightmares. Each time Midna had thought that she had just made it out of the worst nightmare she could possibly have thought of, she would only find herself trapped in an even more horrifying scenario.</p>
<p>It should perhaps not have been a surprise to her that she woke up to find her head aching, every little part of her begging for her to please just lie down again, to just continue to sleep. But she couldn’t. Midna knew that much. No matter how daunting the task in front of her was, she could not turn around now. It was too late for her to change her mind. But, as she tried to pinpoint the exact moment when things had changed, when she had made the decision, moving forwards in such a way that she had effectively brought an end to any possibility of going back again, Midna could not help but feel like it had been a decision that she had made a long time ago, weeks before she had finally agreed to argue for Zelda’s plan.</p>
<p>Zelda. She would love to hear about that, Midna already knew that, knew exactly how Zelda would look when she would smile up at her, lines appearing around her eyes as she laughed.</p>
<p>And now, Midna would drag her back home, back to the castle she had fought so hard to leave. It was even colder in the cabin than usual as Midna remembered what Zelda had told her. A marriage, she had been on that ship because she had been meant to marry Ralph, the prince on Labrynna. Once Midna returned to tell the tale of how she had saved the princess of Hyrule from the pirates, surely Ganondorf would not immediately order Zelda to travel to Labrynna, wanting the wedding to happen as quickly as possible? She wanted to think that it would not be the case, but when she had to be honest with herself, Midna was almost certain that, if he thought it would help him, if he decided that it would be necessary to allow him to stay in power, he would do it without hesitating for even a moment. But that was exactly why they would have to do it and then just hope that they would get the chance to bring an end to his reign before it would happen.</p>
<p>But even the thought that Zelda had agreed to do it, that she had been the person to first come up with the plan, that she must be the one of them with the best chances of knowing whether or not they would be able to succeed, was still not able to make Midna feel better about the fact that, if anything went wrong, she might have to spend her last moments knowing that she had doomed Zelda to a fate that, while no doubt better than having to stay in Hyrule Castle for the rest of her life, was still one that had made her sneak onto a pirate ship just to try to escape it.</p>
<p>“Midna?” someone knocked on the door, twice, the second time being a little bit more forceful than the first. “Midna, are you awake?”</p>
<p>“Yes, just give me a moment!”</p>
<p>In the pale light of the rising sun, Zelda looked almost like the perfect princess Midna had seen back when they had first met. Granted, they had not been able to salvage her dress, even though Midna could see that Cremia had been careful with it, and in the end, someone—Midna being almost certain that the someone was Uli—must have reminded everyone about the story they would try to tell the guards to explain their miraculous escape, for, rather than the blue gown, Zelda was wearing a tunic, looking almost like she was about to head out to look for ships to attack rather than the princess who would return to bring the rebels into the castle and give Midna the chance to kill the king and crown prince.</p>
<p>It was a relief when she had finally said goodbye to everyone. It felt almost wrong to even think it, simply waiting for Uli to let go of her, trying to come up with something to tell her as she hugged Midna so tightly that, for a moment, it felt almost like she would refuse to let go of her again, but that was, nevertheless, what Midna thought as the crowd began to gather the moment she and Zelda left the ship, every single person in the base having seemingly decided that they would have to come out into the hangar to say goodbye.</p>
<p>It was not that she did not understand them. Midna did. This, the crowd, the goodbyes, the tears, most of it probably was not really for her, but rather because she and Zelda would now have to try to make it to Hyrule Castle, everyone’s life suddenly being risked for a chance of them finally being free to leave the mountain. But that did not make it any less awkward as Jaggle came over to her, the redness in his eyes letting her know that he had cried as he pulled her into an embrace that, considering just how little positive interaction she could remember having ever shared with him, was just a little too personal for her. Still, it was not for her, it was not even something she did for Zelda. She stood there, letting everyone say goodbye, because that was what they would need. And if it was what it would take to make sure that she would not leave Colin, Uli, Beth, everyone behind, all of them waiting for someone who would never show up, then Midna would do it without complaining, though that did not mean that it was not a relief when Uli finally cut through, reminding everyone that they had to leave now if they wanted to be able to reach the Eldin Mountains before the sun would set.</p>
<p>And, finally, they were on their way to Clock Town.</p>
<p>She was not sure for how long they walked, only aware of the fact that they were even walking at all because she could look back and see how the mountain behind the grew smaller and smaller the higher the sun was in the sky. The snow was squeaking beneath her booths, and more than once, Midna had to reach out to help Zelda not to fall as she accidentally stepped on a thin layer of ice, but it did still not do much to change the fact that the Eldin Mountains looked just as small against the horizon as the sun began to crawl back down towards the mountain behind them as it had done when they had first started walking.</p>
<p>They walked in silence. Midna was not sure exactly why they did that—no one had looked at the others and suggested that it might be better that way, not out loud at least—but, for the first couple of hours, it had been a nice change after the months inside the mountain, to just be able to walk and walk without having to think of an answer to the questions she might otherwise have been asked. But, as they continued through the forest, careful not to trip over the branches, even the fact that it made it so that she could listen to the wolves howling in the distance was not really enough to distract Midna from the fact that, should anything happen, she would have preferred not to have spent her last hours of freedom walking quietly next to Zelda, only casting the occasional glance over at her when she was sure that Zelda would not notice it. But given how Zelda did not in any way indicate that she would be the first to say something, Midna stayed silent as well. It was easier that way, less complicated, or at least that was what she tried to tell herself.</p>
<p>Below her feet, the cover of snow grew thinner, the dirt beneath slowly changing, becoming small stones instead. At first, it was enough to almost make her trip and fall as Midna forgot to watch her step, only the sound of the pebbles moving beneath her telling her that she was about to slip. But even as she had to jump away, moving quickly to avoid falling, it was impossible for her to be annoyed. They had made it through the forest. At last, they had reached the point Cremia had said would be the halfway point between the base and Clock Town when travelling on foot.</p>
<p>“So, I was thinking that we might want to set up the tent over there,” Cremia said, bringing an end to the silence between them.</p>
<p>After hours of silence, it felt almost strange to listen to Cremia speak, to look at her as she pointed towards a little plateau to their right, the side of the mountain hopefully being able to provide them with a bit of cover from the wind.</p>
<p>“Sure.” Zelda nodded, already in the process of pushing the straps of the bag off her shoulders, placing it on the ground with a soft thud. “If you two,” she motioned towards Cremia and Midna, “would please help me, then I am sure we should be able to get at least a few hours of sleep.”</p>
<p>That was how Midna found herself sitting with a piece of rope, trying to figure out how she was supposed to follow the instructions Cremia had given her. To her annoyance, it became clear within only a few moments that this was nothing like the lines on a ship. The sails had made sense, she had known how to react to the situations that had arisen on the ship, but now, as she tried to tie a knot, everything felt unfamiliar to her.</p>
<p>She was in the middle of trying to undo what little she had achieved, having transformed the piece of rope into one big knot when she heard someone walk over to her.</p>
<p>“You look like you might need some help.”</p>
<p>Midna had not even noticed how Zelda had come over to join her, but as she sat down next to her, already reaching out towards the rope in her hands, she could not have been more grateful for how she had just saved her from the embarrassment of having to admit that she really had no idea about what she was doing.</p>
<p>Shooting her a smile that she hoped looked sincere, not giving away the fact that, no matter how airy Midna had been able to act back at the base about the fact that, very soon, it would be too late to turn back, she was terrified every time she thought about what would happen the next day, Midna handed the rope over to her with a little smile. “Yeah, I would say so as well.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she was silent, simply watching as Zelda took a moment to assess the damage she had done, before quickly pulling at the knot, making it fall apart, allowing for her to start over.</p>
<p>“Zelda?” Midna mumbled. As the sun began to disappear, casting long shadows over the forest as it disappeared behind the mountain, she had never felt more tired. Not even the attempts at reminding herself that it was winter, that the sun would set a lot earlier than if they had done the same thing during summer, was enough for her to keep the yawn out of her voice, enough to ignore the fact that, in that moment, the thing she wanted to do the most was to place her head on Zelda’s shoulder and close her eyes for a minute, just a minute, just enough to give herself the chance to rest.</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>Midna could see how Zelda’s hand stopped moving, but even though she wanted to look up at her, wanted to see if she might be smiling at her, she could not make herself move, not as she had to use all her strength to supress a yawn as she continued. “Do you—” despite the way she had fought to keep it from happening, a yawn made its way over her lips, “do you think… that we might have a chance? I mean, I know that we have to believe that we will if we want to ever be able to succeed, but…” Midna shook her head, coming just a little bit closer to Zelda in the process, “I know that I should be grateful for this opportunity, but I just can’t help but think about what might happen once it is over. I mean, can we be certain that the Hyrulean soldiers are not going to try to avenge their king even after he is dead?”</p>
<p>Zelda did not answer immediately, something Midna could not have been more grateful for. It would have been so easy for her to just look at her and tell her that she was worrying about nothing, but now, it seemed that she was really considering the question.</p>
<p>Finally, Zelda let out a sign, the rope, now complete with the knot Cremia had shown them how to tie, falling to the ground as she slung an arm around Midna, pulling her closer towards her. “I don’t know. I hope that they won’t, but I will not be able to promise you anything. Still, there is one thing I know for certain—I will do my very best to keep it from happening. The moment my father and brother are dead, I will be the queen, and then I will do my absolute best to ensure that you will not be harmed in any way.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” she wanted to ask Zelda to promise her that she would be able to do just that, but bit her lip to keep the words from leaving her mouth. It would not have been right to ask that much of Zelda, not when Midna knew that she would not be able to keep such a promise.</p>
<p>Around her, the sky soon became dark, the last orange glow of the sun slowly dying. It was cold, colder than anything Midna could remember having ever experienced before, but she was not naïve enough to hope that they would be able to light a fire. Flames out here, with how they had left the forest and what little cover the trees might otherwise have been able to provide, would be like telling Ganondorf’s soldiers their location, yelling at them to come and catch them. So Midna sat still, trying her best not to focus on the fact that her teeth were clattering, instead leaning a little closer to Zelda as her head grew heavier, soon leaving Midna with no other choice than to lean against Zelda’s shoulder. It was so late; she just had to rest for a moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was not sure how long she had slept for. All Midna knew when she opened her eyes was that they had moved her, for, rather than waking up to find herself sitting next to Zelda, the wind brushing around them, barely stopped by the mountain that still seemed to reach up towards the sky, she was staring directly up into the grey fabric of the tent. Shoving the thick blanket off her, instantly regretting it as she was reminded of exactly how cold she had been before, Midna  began to move over towards the opening of the tent, following the sound of hushed voices.</p>
<p>They were sitting out there. With the bag placed between them, making it look almost like a poor way to substitute the idea of actual fire, Zelda, Cremia, and Romani were all out there, sitting on the ground as they ate the dinner Uli had had placed in their bags before they had left the base the same morning. Or at least Midna assumed it was the same morning. To be honest, she really was not sure about how long she had been sleeping for, only that her right arm was feeling strangely numb as she made her way over to them.</p>
<p>Zelda was the first to spot her, turning around with a bright smile that still was not enough to really hide how the day of walking had taken a toll on her as well. “Midna!” moving over to the side, widening the circle a little, Zelda made space for Midna to sit down between her and Cremia. Reaching into the rucksack, digging around for something for a moment, Zelda soon handed her a piece of bread. “Here. We didn’t want to wake you up, but I hope that it was all right that we began without you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it is fine,” Midna mumbled. She had barely even shoved the first piece of bread into her mouth before her stomach began to rumble, reminding her of the fact that they had not stopped to eat lunch, too afraid that the minutes they would waste doing that would be the minutes that would make the difference between reaching Clock Town and being caught on the way over there. Quickly tearing off another bite, Midna was content to just sit there and listen to the others as Cremia began to talk about her ranch.</p>
<p>From the way she was talking about it, the dreamy look in her eyes, Midna would dare to make the guess that Cremia was not only talking to keep the silence from growing heavy between them. It felt too personal for that to be the case, Cremia reminiscing about how her parents had decided to name Romani after the ranch with a smile.</p>
<p>It was in that moment, just as Cremia had tried to laugh and poke her younger sister in the side, that Romani began to cry. One moment, she was sitting with her loaf of bread, leaning up against Zelda, and the next, tears were streaming down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“Romani?” placing her own dinner on the ground, Cremia was at her sister’s side in a second, already putting an arm around her shoulders as she tried to comfort her. “What is wrong?”</p>
<p>Getting Romani to actually tell them the answer to that question took several tries, but at last, Midna was somewhat certain that the reason she had begun to cry was almost completely the same reasons that had made them decide to head out for Clock Town in the first place.</p>
<p>“She doesn’t want for you to be caught!” Romani shook her head, moving away from Cremia, refusing her attempts at trying to assure her that there was nothing to be afraid of. “She doesn’t! She wants her ranch back! I want to go home!” the last word echoed around them, but even as Midna was somewhat aware of the fact that she had just heard Romani refer to herself in the first person for the first time in all the time she had known her, none of that really felt important in that moment, not as Cremia was trying to shush her, the desperate look in her eyes telling Midna that she was thinking about the same thing as she was, the fact that they could not risk letting anyone hear them.</p>
<p>“Romani,” Cremia tried to plead with her, “I know that. I know that you want to go home, and we might be able to do that very soon. We just have to get these two to Clock Town. Then everything will be fine, I promise you.”</p>
<p>But Romani must have been able to tell that Cremia really was not in any position where she would be able to make such a promise, for she simply continued to shake her head. “No! I have dreamt about this—it is all going to end here, they will take the ranch, they…” Romani’s voice continued to rise, soon making it almost impossible for Midna to understand what she was saying, only that she was panicking.</p>
<p>“Romani?” Zelda moved, sending Cremia a little glance, almost like she was trying to apologise in advance, as she was able to make Romani fall silent with just that one word. “Romani, I am so sorry, but I have to ask you to calm down for a moment.  You see, I have to tell you a story, but I will not be able to begin before I know that you are able to hear what I will tell you.”</p>
<p>What was Zelda doing? Midna sent her a glance, hoping that it would be enough to let Zelda know what she wanted to ask her about, but, if she even noticed it at all, Zelda ignored her. Maybe that was for the best, for despite the way that not even Cremia had been able to make Romani calm down, right then, Romani looked up at Zelda, wiping the tears away, the panic giving way for a puzzled expression.</p>
<p>“What do you mean? What story?”</p>
<p>Zelda simply smiled at her. “That is what I wanted to tell you. I just have to make sure that you would be able to hear me, and I didn’t think that you would have a chance of doing that while you were crying. But do you think you can do it now?”</p>
<p>“Yes!”</p>
<p>“Good. Now, this is a story that my governess used to tell me when I was a little girl, barely older than you. It is about a very special girl who lived in a kingdom where the sun had disappeared many years ago…”</p>
<p>It was obvious what she was doing. Within moments, Romani had stopped crying completely, her breathing becoming more even as she glanced up at Zelda, looking like the only thing that mattered to her in that moment was the story that she was telling her. And, despite the fact that Midna was almost completely certain that Zelda was making up the fairy tale as she went along, the similarities between the story and their situation being a little too many in numbers for it to have been a coincidence, she could not say that she was any better, not as she continued to look over at Zelda, finding herself just as captured by the way Zelda continued to make the facial expressions of the people in the story. As she made her eyes wide, an exaggerated attempt at looking surprised, Romani even smiled, a little giggle escaping her. It did not take long before she began to slump forwards, Cremia sending Zelda a little smile that said everything she needed to say as she lifted her little sister up, carrying her into the tent.</p>
<p>It was not until she was gone that Midna realised that it meant that she was now completely alone with Zelda. Above them, the stars twinkled against the dark canvas of the night, making her feel smaller than ever before, almost like it did not matter what would happen next. The stars had been there before her; should she disappear tomorrow, they would continue to be there. Still, Midna would do her very best to make sure that, before long, she and Zelda would be able to watch the stars like this without having to fear that the king would find them.</p>
<p>Zelda must have been able to tell what she was thinking about, or at least it felt like that should have been the case as she looked back over at her, quickly moving over to sit next to her, sending her a little smile as she tilted her head to the side. “What are you thinking about?” Zelda whispered the words, trying to follow her line of sight, the two of them sitting in silence next to each other for a moment, the silence only interrupted by the faint sound of Cremia trying her best to pull the blanket up around Romani.</p>
<p>“Not much,” Midna answered, “just the fact that, tomorrow, I might be able to know whether or not I will be able to sit out here again. I mean, I know that I should be able to stay hopeful, I know that it does not exactly help that I doubt our ability to fulfil this mission, but I just can’t help it.”</p>
<p>“No, I understand completely.” and, despite the fact that Midna would have loved to think that that was not the case, not really, that she would have loved to assume that Zelda was merely pretending to know what she was talking about, doing her best to make her feel better about the fact that there was nothing she would be able to do, should anything go wrong, Midna knew that it was true. She knew that, as Zelda leant against her, leaving o space between them, she was not doing it because she felt obligated to do so, nor was any kind of guilt the reason for why she added. “Midna… I know that this might not be the moment to tell you this, but I… even though this might be the last night I will spend out here, where I can be free, I am happy that I am here with you now. Even if I could change anything about this, I would not have done so.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” her voice sounded strangely emotional, Midna struggling to get the words out while still making sure that they were comprehensible. Why did it feel like she was seconds away from bursting into tears? Why was she suddenly filled with the urge to wake up Cremia and tell her that she had changed her mind, that she would be willing to leave everyone to fend for themselves if it meant that she would not have to somehow come to terms with the fact that, no matter what would happen next, she would never be able to share a moment like this with Zelda again.</p>
<p>For that was the truth, a fact she had tried her best not to think about. Even if they were victorious, even if Midna was able to kill the king and crown prince, making Zelda the queen, she knew that things would never be the same between them. Not only would Zelda have to handle the chaos that would no doubt follow such a regime change, have to fight to free the Twilight Realm, if Midna really went through with her plan of revealing herself to the world, she would have to face the new reality she would then find herself in. They would never just be able to be Zelda and Midna again; from the moment they would step forward to claim their part, they would forever be the queen of Hyrule, the rightful and just sovereign, and the long-lost princess of the Twilight Realm who had now returned to right the wrong that had been committed all those years ago.</p>
<p>But, even as the thought made tears sting in her eyes, Midna refused to show it. Zelda deserved better than seeing her so weak, and so, Midna simply blinked the tears away, making sure that she had her voice under control as she looked back over at Zelda. “I—” her careful planning had all been for nothing as her voice broke, Midna already knowing that she was not able to disguise it as a cough, though it did not keep her from attempting to do just that, “I feel the same way.”</p>
<p>After that, Zelda was quiet, leaning back to look up at the stars. Midna would have loved to continue the conversation, getting a chance to tell Zelda all of the things she had felt the need to keep inside for all those months and weeks, but each time she could feel how the words bubbled up in her chest, ready to spill from her lips, at once dangerous and alluring, she would look over at Zelda. She looked at peace as she sat there, the distant light of the stars reflected in her eyes, and although Midna could not help but wonder if that was how spirits might look, beautiful and otherworldly, she knew that Zelda really was sitting right there with her, as real as Midna herself.</p>
<p>She could not bring herself to bring an end to the stolen moment of joy, not when she had already seen and heard enough to know that, had it not been for how this might very well be their only chance of ever being able to go against Ganondorf while still having a chance of winning such a fight, she would never have chosen to willingly return to the castle. So Midna did her best to ignore the way her heart was aching, begging her to open her mouth and let the words come to her, having faith that she would know what to say although it seemed impossible in that moment, and instead simply leant back as well. The stars might have been beautiful, but as they both gradually lowered themselves further and further back, soon lying on the ground, Midna no longer looked up at the stars in the sky. Instead, she took in the way Zelda glowed brighter than the sun as she lay there, looking almost like she might have been asleep had it not been for the fact that her eyes were open, a hint of a smile still having the honour of gracing her lips with its presence.</p>
<p>As the night closed in, Midna knowing that the moment where things would have to change—be it for the better or for the worse—grew closer with every breath, her entire body began to grow heavy, so heavy that Midna was no longer able to lift her head from the ground. Before long, she felt how she slipped away, into the darkness. It must have been because Zelda was there with her, but for the first in time in as long as Midna could recall, she did not have even the tiniest hint of a nightmare to interrupt her rest. Instead, she slept through the night, dreaming of Zelda.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And now they are officially on their way to Hyrule to finally overthrow the king!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They made their way through the forest and out onto Termina Field as the sun began its descent the next day.</p>
<p>With aching feet that told her that, despite what she might have liked to tell herself, flying on a ship, running from soldiers, and competing in the deadly dance that trying to escape from them would sometimes be was really not in any way the same as having to walk the kilometres that separated their base and Clock Town, Midna stepped over to stand next to Zelda. She had paused, almost like she wanted to take in the view, but, as beautiful as the town might be, the clock tower rising up high in the middle of it all, Midna could tell that it was not the case, not really, already before Zelda had turned around to look back over at Cremia. Had it not already been obvious, the expression on her face, the way her eyes reflected the fear of someone who could see their death approaching from far away and still found themselves powerless to stop it, would have told them everything they needed to know as Zelda took a slow, almost unsure, step towards Cremia.</p>
<p>“I believe that this is where you will have to leave us, is it not?” Zelda asked, her voice rising a bit halfway through the question. There was almost nothing of the courage that Midna had seen the previous day left now, no hint of the woman who had sat down to tell Romani fairy tales to bring her hope.</p>
<p>It would appear that Cremia had made the same observation, for she hesitated to tell Zelda what they both knew; that they had agreed from the very moment they had first began to prepare for the journey, that Cremia and Romani would not be able to accompany them all the way into the village, not when there was a risk that they might be recognised, the fact that they had escaped from the guards possibly bringing the entire mission at risk of falling apart. “I think I will have to,” Cremia finally said, her voice shaking slightly as she looked over at Zelda, “but…” Midna barely had time to step back before Cremia had rushed forward, bringing Zelda into a tight hug, her sobs already making it difficult to hear what she was saying as Cremia began to speak quicker than before, “goddesses, Zelda, promise me that you will be careful. Promise me that you will be all right.” she looked up, finding Midna much faster than it should have been possible to do, considering how she was crying. “And you too, Midna. I know that we never got the chance to get to know each other, but I have not forgot about the fact that I owe my life to you. You saved me and my sister, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that, but maybe, if I just dedicate the rest of my life to attempting to do so, I might be able to give just a little of it back to you. Please, make sure to stay alive so that I will get the chance to do just that.”</p>
<p>“You already have thanked me enough. You showed us the way, you volunteered to help, convincing the rest of the council to give this plan a chance despite the fact that, should it fail, it would mean the end for every single one of us,” Midna said. As Cremia shook her head, Midna stepped over to her, feeling almost like she was no longer the one controlling her body. It would make sense, after all, for that to be the case. This, actually knowing how to respond, how to act around people trying to express their feelings, it was something Zelda knew how to do, not something Midna had ever been good at, and as she cast a stolen glance at Zelda, Midna did not know what to make of the look she sent her, admiration and something else, almost adoration, but not quite that either, combining in her eyes, Zelda might as well have been the one to reach out for Cremia’s hand rather than Midna, with how Midna doubted she would have been able to do it had it not been for the fact that she knew that Zelda would not be able to continue if they did not make sure to say goodbye properly, “Cremia, you have already done more than enough. Now, the only thing I will ask of you, is for you to make sure that you and Romani get back to the base unharmed. Should anything happen to me, I would feel much better knowing that you two at least got the chance to spend the last moments with everyone there.”</p>
<p>Cremia nodded. “I understand.” and she must really have done that, for she stopped crying, looking back up at Midna with a look of determination in her eyes, making her look so much older than what her age would show.</p>
<p>As Cremia and Romani said their last goodbyes to Zelda, Midna could not help but wonder if that was not the case for all of them. Here they were, two of them ready to continue into Clock Town with nothing other than the hope that this plan might work to make them continue to walk forwards, approaching the uncertain future, the other two having risked their lives to return to the very place where they had almost died in an attempt to flee from the king. And all of it, every single thing that had happened in Midna’s life, making her the person she was today, the way she had cried during the first week of being completely alone in a ship so large it felt like she was drowning, her meeting Link, Zelda forcing to look at the world around her and realise that she had to do something—all of it might be about to change. If only Midna could now get the chance to finish it all, she could make sure that it would change to become a better world.</p>
<p>Although Clock Town had seemed small when they had just emerged from the forest, by the time Midna and Zelda were standing at the gates, the walls were practically towering up in front of them, Midna’s height not being enough to keep her from having to crane her neck to look up at the top of them.</p>
<p>It was then that Zelda leant over towards her, the way her hand brushed against her arm as she whispered into her ear almost making Midna feel like she had already met her end as Zelda brushed her hair to the side to make it easier to hear her. “Midna? You are certain that they do not know your name, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” it was only partly a lie, but it was what she had to say. Admitting that, really, she had no idea, that with how the servants had disappeared to never return again, Midna had no way of knowing exactly how much Ganondorf knew about her. “My mother had me after the Twilight Realm had fallen. My name is not in any of the history books, nor would they have been able to find it in any gallery.”</p>
<p>“I suppose you must be right. But let us change that now. Once we are finished, once we have achieved everything we can ever dream of, I will make sure that every single person in Hyrule, no, in the entire world, will know your name.”</p>
<p>Midna let out a low chuckle. It was such an unnecessarily dramatic thing to say, a promise that was too big for any person to be able keep it, so of course, it was something that Zelda would say, looking up at her with so much honesty in her eyes that, despite knowing better, Midna found herself almost believing it for a moment. But then she found herself faced with reality again, the laugh dying in her throat, the smile instead replaced with a smirk. “As long as you know my name, it will be enough for me.”</p>
<p>Zelda did not get the chance to respond as a guard stepped over to them. But, rather than feeling relieved, grateful for the fact that she would now not have to see if Zelda would have drawn back, have stuttered, trying to tell her that she had not meant it like that, the disappointment filled her stomach, making the afternoon seem colder than it had been mere minutes before. Not even the fact that the guard was wielding a spear, the metal tip of it reflecting the orange glow of the sinking sun as he stepped over to them, blocking their entrance into the town as he sent them an inspecting glare, was enough to distract her from that.</p>
<p>“What are you two doing here?” the guard asked. His voice was low, threatening, and though Midna had promised herself that she would not let any harm come to Zelda, in that moment, she was more than willing to step back to let Zelda handle the situation.</p>
<p>And handle the situation, Zelda did. Moving a step closer to the guard, somehow able to make herself seem both smaller and bigger at the same time, pulling her shoulders forwards, assuming a defensive, scared, position, Zelda still sounded and looked like a princess as she repeated the story she had assured both Midna, Renado, and Shad so many times would be enough to get both her and Midna into Hyrule Castle.</p>
<p>“By Nayru, I—” she let her voice tremble slightly, pausing for just a moment to cast a glance back behind her shoulder, feigning the horrible feeling of not being sure that they were not being followed, “I am so glad to see a guard again—it felt like they had all but ceased to exist out there, all kinds of chivalry instead being replaced with—” Midna watched as Zelda shook her head, soon beginning to shake completely.</p>
<p>The guard might not have looked like he had been chosen for his brain, but he did notice that much, looking almost torn between the urge to clutch his spear a bit closer to him and the instinct to reach out to try to place a hand on Zelda’s shoulder to stop her from trembling. “Miss?” he said, his glance flickering back and forth between Zelda and Midna, Midna barely remembering how she had to act her part as well, trying her best to imitate Zelda’s scared demeanour. From the way the guard did not waste another glance at her, she was confident that he had not noticed anything, or maybe he had just decided that Zelda was more important right then. Considering the fact that he finally let go of the spear with one hand to get the chance to reach out to place a hand on Zelda’s shoulder, that did seem to be the more likely of the two options, even before he continued, his voice sounding much more considerate than before. “Miss, will you tell me what has happened? I can assure you that you are safe here—I will make sure of that.”</p>
<p>Midna looked at the spear, then back at the guard. For some reason, she truly doubted that he would have been able to do much more than simply wave it around like a stick and hope for the best if they would really be attacked.</p>
<p>But, much like Midna, Zelda must have realised that they had chosen the perfect guard to tell their story, for she did not waste any time, already looking up at him, her eyes lined with tears, as she put on the expression of someone who had just found her saviour and was now realising that she might be safe. “Why, thank you! Goddesses, after all that time, the feeling of knowing that you can finally trust someone again—it is indescribable.”</p>
<p>The guard could not keep the self-satisfied smile off his face, not even as he was clearly trying to do so, looking down at Zelda in a way that was surely meant to be chivalrous, but simply came across as smug. “Well, in that case, I am happy to have been the one you met. But, Miss, I will have to ask you once again if there is any particular reason as to why you are this afraid. For I assure you that if it turns out that another person is responsible for you and your friend’s tears, I will personally make sure that they regret that they were ever born.”</p>
<p>If anyone would ever look at her and try to claim that she was not a good—or, if nothing else, decent—actress, Midna would simply point them towards the fact that she did not roll her eyes at that, despite how it felt like it would have been the only appropriate response to the way the guard was already standing up a bit straighter, clearly letting down his guard as he pushed the spear even further away from himself. Maybe they had worried about something that would never happen, for if all the soldiers would be as gullible as this guy, Midna doubted that there was any risk of their plan not working out in the end. But seeing as Zelda was so close to achieving their goal, she forced herself not to laugh, not to let out a loud snort and give away their cover.</p>
<p>Midna might have considered herself a good actress, but in that moment, Zelda was far better than her in every way that counted. Tilting her head to the side, sending a side-glance towards Midna that, together with the tiny, hopeful smile, so clearly conveyed the fact that she could not believe that they might really be safe, Zelda began to tell the lie they had agreed on, talking slowly, hesitating for a moment every few seconds, almost like she had to find the strength to continue. “I—I need to get back to Hyrule Castle. If you could help me do that, I would be so very grateful.”</p>
<p>“Hyrule Castle?” the guard echoed, and to what little credit he might still possess, he did draw his brows together, looking between Midna and Zelda, clearly hesitating to agree to help them just yet. “May I ask why you want to go there? I mean, the guards here are perfectly capable of handling this.”</p>
<p>“I don’t doubt that, but seeing as it has been months since I last got the chance to talk with my father, I would prefer to talk with him as soon as possible. I know that he must have been worried sick about me, so I have to go home to assure him that I am all right.”</p>
<p>“Your father?” Midna could almost see the gears turning inside the guard’s brain, see how he slowly connected what he was being told with what he knew about the castle. “You don’t mean…?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I am  indeed Princess Zelda. Not that I can blame you for not recognising me—with how much time I spent aboard that horrible ship, I doubt that my own father would have been able to tell who I was.” Zelda let out a little, melodic laugh, making it so that Midna had to focus on remaining still, keeping up the terrified expression even as she wanted to walk over to stand closer to her. “I—” Zelda shook her head, “I don’t believe I will have to tell you about how difficult it was for me to escape, because goddesses knows, it was not easy. Had it not been for Midna here, I am sure that I would still be back on the ship, trying my best to give myself the chance to escape. But now that we are here, I have to go home, Midna as well. I am sure my father would want to reward the person who saved his daughter—as well as those who helped get her home, of course.”</p>
<p>“I, uhm.” The guard looked over at Midna, then back at Zelda, clearly torn between the wish to do exactly as Zelda told him to, help them get home and then hope that he would really get a wonderful reward like Zelda said, and doing his job properly. “Not that I doubt you, You Royal Highness, but you have to understand that I cannot just send anyone back to Hyrule Castle, even if they are the princess. You see, during these last couple of years, well, we have had quite the problem with pirates, and although I know that you are perfectly capable of figuring out whom you should trust,” his gaze landed on Midna, scrutinising her, “I will have to make sure that they have not forced you to say all of this. Forgive me, princess.”</p>
<p>“No, it is quite all right. Truth to be told, I had expected for you to tell me that. Really, where would we be if it was not for the fact that we could trust the Hyrulean army? But, if you would let me make a suggestion, why don’t we find someone who would know me? Then, they would not only be able to tell you if I was acting because I had received orders to do so, but I am sure that I would also feel much better if I could be in the company of someone I knew after all these months—or, well, as safe as you can feel when you don’t have a guard next to you at all times.”</p>
<p>“It does sound like a good idea. Did you have any particular person in mind?”</p>
<p>Zelda smiled, and for a moment, the façade slipped, letting the danger make her face look a little sharper as she nodded. “Yes, Mayor Dotour. I visited him a couple of times when I was younger, so I am certain he would be able to tell you whether I have been threatened into doing this.”</p>
<p>The trap closed around the guard’s leg the second he looked over at Midna, only hesitating for a moment before he nodded. Now, it was only a matter of time before they would be at the castle, Zelda and Midna searching for an opportunity to finally bring an end to all of this. And once they had done it, Midna would be sure to send this guard a grateful thought. For although he was no doubt congratulating himself for having singlehandedly saved the monarchy as he escorted them through the streets of Clock Town, clearly thinking that he was doing a great job of being discreet as he yelled at the playing children to move aside to let them through, truth was that had it not been for the fact that all it had taken to get him to abandon his post had been a few smiles from Zelda and a promise of a reward, their plan would have fallen apart back at the gate. Now, however, Midna soon found herself looking up at what felt like it might have been among the most massive structures she would ever get the chance to see, a house in multiple storeys that sat there, at the end of the road, almost like a promise to anyone who might happen to pass by that Clock Town was a grand town, that it was rich and prosperous. To think that, if only Midna made sure to stay focused, she might be able to make the Twilight Realm look the same in just a few years. It was almost too much for her to take in.</p>
<p>Sending one last glance back at Zelda, the guard walked up to the door, knocking once. The sound resonated through the street, speaking of how the guard was trying his best to appear to be in control, acting like he was the one to guard the entire town rather than how he had just left his spot at the gates to get them over here.</p>
<p>After a few moments, a woman opened up the door, leaning out, still keeping a tight grip on the door handle.</p>
<p>Midna could not hear what the guard told her, but, given how the woman’s eyes widened as she stepped back, only turning back to tell them to please wait for a moment before she all but sprinted through the hallway on the other side of the door, she knew that he must have told them about how Zelda was the princess, maybe with a few changes to the story where he had decided that he might really have done more than what the truth would imply to be the case. At least Midna did not find it too difficult to imagine him having decided that he might also have been the person to rescue them, or at least give them the courage to ask for help, simply by having been the one to guard that particular gate that day.</p>
<p>The woman returned just as Zelda had reached out to take Midna’s hand, the contact making Midna feel almost like the story could have been real with how fast her heart was beating, but this time, she was not alone. A small man who looked like he mostly just wanted to be left alone with how he did not step out from behind the woman, walked over to the doorway. Then he froze, his gaze landing on Zelda as his mouth opened.</p>
<p>“Princess?”</p>
<p>His voice was nothing like Midna would have imagined, but then again, neither was anything about him really. When Zelda had first mentioned the mayor of Clock Town, Midna had expected to meet someone tall, imposing, and intimidating, someone who looked like a person Ganondorf would have trusted enough to let them be in charge of one of the towns closest to the border. This man, however, looked almost like the only reason that he was still there had to be that he either was much smarter than his scared expression would imply, or that he had simply been able to refrain from attracting the king’s attentions, that the only reason he was standing in front of them was simply the fact that Ganondorf had not yet looked at Clock Town and realised who the mayor was. But, maybe they could use that to their advantage, the fact that the man seemed like he was doing his best not to look up at the guard as he continued. “Is it really you?”</p>
<p>The guard, looking almost like he was enjoying the attention a little too much, did not give Zelda the chance to respond, already stepping to the side to keep the mayor from being able to look directly at her, a gesture that made the young woman next to the mayor frown slightly, the way her red hair moved slightly being the only thing to give away the fact that she was shaking her head at him. “It is indeed. The princess has finally escaped the pirates and now, she had requested to be sent back to Hyrule Castle along with her… friend.” the way the guard glanced over at Midna, his gaze coming to rest on her dirty clothes, made it apparent that, had it not been for all the other people around them, he would have used another word entirely. “But, seeing as we all know about what these pirates are capable of, I thought it wisest to lead them to you so that you could decide whether or not the princess was acting of her own free will, or if she might have been forced to say all of this.”</p>
<p>At that, the woman stepped in front of the mayor, and although she was smiling, Midna could see in her eyes that she really wanted to do the exact opposite thing. “Thank you, Sir. I am sure that the king will be grateful for that. Now, if the princess and her saviour would please come inside, I am sure that my father-in-law will be more than happy to let them stay here for the night to give us the chance of determining whether the princess has been forced to come here—”</p>
<p>“But—” the guard moved forwards, already trying to protest, but the woman did not give him the chance.</p>
<p>“—should we find that that is not the case, the mayor will make sure to organise their return to the castle.” and with that, the woman turned to face Zelda and Midna. “Now, please do come inside.”</p>
<p>Casting one last glance back at the guard, barely keeping herself from sending him a sarcastic smile, enjoying the way he looked almost lost as they moved away from him, Midna followed along after Zelda. They had barely made it across the threshold, before the woman closed the door after them.</p>
<p>It was not until the closed door was there, making sure that the guard could no longer hear them that the mayor finally began to speak again. Letting out a low sigh, he almost looked like the short conversation had aged him multiple years as he looked up at them. “Thank you, Anju.” then, perhaps realising that, no matter what, he was now in the presence of royalty, he looked over at Zelda, doing a short, awkward movement that might have been supposed to be an attempt at bowing, but looked more like he was just trying to wave at someone. “I am sorry, Your Royal Highness, but I fear that, well, that speaking with the guards has a habit of making me a little nervous—not that I don’t appreciate everything they do for us, for I truly am aware of how they risk their lives to keep us safe.” he was sweating, Midna could see that much, his head shining as he seemed to catch a glimpse of something in front of them, the sight clearly making him relax a bit, enough to let him smile. “Uh, as my daughter-in-law told you, I will organise for you to be brought back to the castle—”</p>
<p>“But what about whether or not the princess has been forced to come here?” the young woman—Anju—interrupted, glancing back and forth between the mayor and Zelda.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, that.” the way the mayor hesitated for only a moment, barely enough to even look at Zelda, let Midna know that they had wasted their time when they had worried about whether or not Zelda would be able to be calm enough to not give away the truth, a thought that was only confirmed as the mayor continued. “Well, she looks perfectly fine to me; I don’t think she has been forced to come here. Now, I will have to leave you—I am afraid that I have a lot of things I have to take care of, and seeing as it is getting dark, you will not be able to leave until tomorrow, not unless you want to arrive in the castle without having even got the chance to sleep in a real bed. Also, I am sure my wife would be disappointed if I did not let her at least get the chance to talk with you, so just… I am leaving you two with her.” the mayor turned around on his heel, leaving before any of them would have got the chance to protest.</p>
<p>“I…” Anju looked over at them, hesitating for a moment before she shook her head, “you will have to excuse him, we have been under quite a lot of pressure lately. With how the pirates have been increasingly active in the area, he has had a lot of work to do. I am not really sure about when the last time he got the chance to relax for even a moment was.”</p>
<p>Before any of them were able to respond, Midna heard a door being slammed shut, the loud noise making her look up, eyes searching for the source of the sound. With how the woman who had seemingly just left one of the rooms located next to the hallway was walking towards them, almost, but not quite, running, it was not too difficult to do just that.</p>
<p>“Anju, dearest, who are our guests?” she asked as she reached them, the giant hairstyle on top of her head continuing to move for a moment after she had stopped. Then, her eyes landed on Zelda, and Midna could see that, despite how they had not been able to get rid of all the ash and coal dust that covered everything back at the base, not noticing the little layer of dirt until they were in the presence of people who looked like they had never touched a piece of coal in their life, Zelda still looked like the princess, especially as she responded to the woman’s gaze by standing up a little straighter, leaving the woman with nothing to do except for looking almost like she was caught between amazement and surprise as she let out a little gasp. “You—” and then she woke up, sinking down into an exaggerated curtsey, “Your Royal Highness!”</p>
<p>“Please, there is no need for you to do that.” Zelda’s words might have been meant for the woman in front of them, but Midna did not miss the way she looked over at her as she said them, almost like she wanted to apologise for the woman’s reaction. “We are just grateful for the fact that your husband was kind enough to let us stay here, volunteering to take care of the task that making sure that we will be flown back to Hyrule Castle tomorrow will no doubt be.”</p>
<p>So the woman was the wife of the scared mayor. Midna supposed she should not really have been surprised, not after everything she had already seen, but still, she would have lied if she said that she did not have to force herself to refrain from commenting on how little sense it all made to her, biting her lip to force herself to remain in the background. Right now, she was not Midna, the person who had always been the first to speak up, not when that would risk ruining their plans. For the next couple of days, just until she could spot a chance to end it all, she would have to play along, playing her part, the role of the scared girl who had just barely been able to summon the courage that had been necessary to help the princess escape, perfectly.</p>
<p>“Tomorrow?” the mayor’s wife repeated, and, though she might have tried to sound like she was horrified at the thought of the princess having to wait for another day until she was able to return home, Midna could hear how the excitement shone through, revealing the fact that she could not have been happier about the fact that the princess of Hyrule would now have to stay in her home for an entire day. “In that case, princess, will you please come with me? I am sure that we will have plenty of things to discuss.  Oh, and I almost forgot my manners! I am Madame Aroma.”</p>
<p>Zelda barely had time to even open her mouth, Madame Aroma having already halfway reached out towards her, clearly intent on dragging her away with her if that was what it would take, but at the last moment, she was able to nod towards Midna. “What about Midna?”</p>
<p>It seemed almost like Madame Aroma had already managed to forget everything about Midna, about the woman standing next to the princess, for she simply did a vague gesture towards her, barely able to keep the hint of how she really could not have cared less about her out of her voice as she answered. “Anju, will you please take care of our guest? I am sure that she would be more than happy to get a chance to wash the dirt off her face. Now, princess, if you would please come this way…”</p>
<p>Maybe she should have felt insulted, but as Madame Aroma disappeared along with Zelda, Midna had to fight to keep herself from smiling. After having met the mayor and the guard, it was almost impressive to see how Madame Aroma had been able to at once look at Midna and decide that she was clearly in desperate need of a bath while still reaching out to drag Zelda along with her, seemingly able to miss the fact that Zelda was covered in a layer of dirt just as Midna was.</p>
<p>As the door closed behind Zelda and Madame Aroma, Anju turned towards Midna. “Well, we should probably get going then. Come, this way.”</p>
<p>The house had looked massive from the outside, but as Anju began to lead her through a corridor to the right, the two of them moving further and further away from where both Zelda, Madame Aroma, and Mayor Dotour had gone with every step, Midna had to admit that the house was even bigger than she had imagined, the two of them passing by more than a dozen doors and other hallways before Anju began to speak again, bringing an end to the silence that Midna had just begun to enjoy.</p>
<p>“So…” Anju sent her a stolen glance, the fact that it only lasted for a fraction of a second making it clear that she did not want for Midna to notice it, “is it true? Were you really captured by the pirates?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” only the attempts at reminding herself that she was doing this to ensure that she would never have to lie like this again kept Midna from admitting the truth, instead swallowing the bitter taste of spreading the king’s lies. “I—I came from a little village in the forest, and, one day, while I was out in the forest, they just… arrived. None of us were able to do anything, and the next thing I knew, I had been taken onto the ship.”</p>
<p>It was lucky for her that Anju did not seem to focus too much on the story, instead lost in her own thoughts, for Midna could almost hear how mechanical she sounded as she repeated the story they had rehearsed at home.</p>
<p>“Midna,” Anju looked back up at her, and, although Midna had thought that she would be prepared for anything, she found herself surprised at the fact that Anju looked almost like she was about to cry as she continued, “I know… I know that you have been through a lot and that you would most likely prefer to just forget about all of this, but… I am so sorry for asking about this, but I have this… friend. She disappeared a while ago, both her and her sister, and I haven’t heard anything from her since then, and, well, I was just wondering if you might have seen her. I… goddesses, I have been so worried about her, even just knowing where she is—it would be such a relief. Her name is Cremia, Cremia and Romani of Romani Ranch, did you see them? Where they with the pirates as well?”</p>
<p>Cremia. Cremia and Romani. Why had it taken her mind so long to connect the dots? Midna was barely able to keep herself from glancing back in the direction of where Zelda had left. Had she realised why the name had sounded familiar?</p>
<p>It was only when Anju stopped walking that Midna realised that she had been silent for too long. Hoping that she might be able to pretend that she simply had not known how to tell her the answer, that it was the reason for why she had completely lost the ability to speak for a moment, Midna cleared her throat. “Uh, no.” it was the logical thing to say, that way, she would not have to also make up lies about how Cremia and Romani were doing. Now, Midna would just have to hope that Zelda would say the same thing if Madame Aroma were to ask her. “I am sorry, Anju, but I didn’t see them. Of course, they might still have been aboard the ship, but if they were, I don’t know where exactly they were held. I am sorry.”</p>
<p>“No, don’t apologise. It is all right.” but the way Anju looked down at the floor, blinking quickly, still not able to hide the fact that she was close to tears, said something else entirely. “It is not your fault. If anything, it is the pirates who took you and the princess I should blame for all of this.”</p>
<p>Sending a mental apology back to the base, Midna nodded. “Indeed. The sooner I get back to the castle and get the chance to tell the king about just how evil they are, convincing him to send more soldiers out to protect us, the sooner I will be able to feel safe again.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna was almost certain that Anju had realised how she was lying, or at least she looked up at her, a look in her eyes that made Midna’s heart beat just a little bit faster, already preparing her body for the escape she might have to make if anything went wrong.</p>
<p>But, thankfully, Anju did not comment on her poor acting, simply frowning slightly as she broke the silence between them once more. “I didn’t want to ask you about this while the princess was still with you, but… how <em>did</em> you manage to escape?”</p>
<p>At last, a question Midna and Zelda had already agreed on the answer to. Dropping her voice to a whisper, pretending that she was brought back to a horrible point in her life, Midna tried her best to look frightened. “I won’t lie to you, it was not easy. But these pirates, they were not exactly the smartest people in this world, nothing like the guards outside the town. So, although it took ages, at last, I was able to figure out when they would all be asleep, when someone would walk by my cell, where the keys were. After that, it was a matter of waiting until a night were the guard was drunk enough to not notice how I took the keys from him. Once I had the keys, it was easy to unlock the door to my cell; I just had to be careful not to make any noise.”</p>
<p>“And the princess?”</p>
<p>“She was in the cell next to mine. During the months we had spent in there, she had been the only person I had been able to talk to, so I knew that I would not be able to leave without her, not without at least trying. Of course, I did not realise that she was the princess until I was looking at her. Can you imagine my surprise? I was so sure that she was just some girl from a poor village just like myself, but then I unlocked the door to her cell and found myself face to face with an actual princess.”</p>
<p>Not even Anju’s smile was enough to hide the fact that she would have preferred to receive news about the fate of her friend to finding out about how she had been able to escape, only keeping up the pretence of caring about the story because the princess was there. “I am sure that the king will be grateful that you were able to save his daughter,” she mumbled, walking a lot faster than she had done before, “as are we. If it had not been for you, we might never have got our princess back, so I am sure that the king will be reward you once he is once again able to rest assured that his daughter is truly safe. But if you have to go to Hyrule Castle, you might want to make yourself look a bit more…” at least Anju was able to make it a little less obvious that, compared with her surroundings, Midna looked like she had just spent years in a forest without ever stopping for a moment to even attempt to wash the dirt off her face, “well, presentable. So here,” Anju stopped to instead point at the door to their left, “if you wash the dirt off, I will go find you something to wear. You can take care of yourself, can’t you?”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Midna said. But it appeared that, no matter what her answer had been, Anju would still have sent her the same short nod before turning around to head in the opposite direction, acting almost like she could not wait to get away from Midna and everything she represented with how she had been able to return to the town after having supposedly been kidnapped by pirates.</p>
<p>Midna could not blame her for that. Even though she was able to comfort herself with the knowledge of how Cremia and Romani had been saved, that there was nothing for them to fear back at the base, she could easily imagine the pain of not knowing where two of her friends were, only knowing that they had disappeared one day to never return again. So she did not even make an attempt at stopping Anju as she walked away from her. She had a right to grieve alone if that was what she wanted, to not be watched as she cried. Hopefully, one day soon, Midna would be able to see her reunite with her friends, allowing her to meet Cremia and Romani again. Then, once she had revealed why she had not been able to tell them about how Cremia and Romani had been perfectly safe, or at least that they would be once they made it back to the base, maybe Anju would forgive her for the lie. But for now, Midna turned her attention towards the door, willing herself not to worry about anything. There was nothing she could achieve by doing so, only making herself even more upset, so, despite the fact that it felt almost wrong to think it, she decided that would not worry about anyone anymore.</p>
<p>She pushed the door open and immediately found herself in the most extravagant room she had ever seen, the sight that met her eyes immediately making it almost easy to forget about Zelda, Anju, Cremia—everyone really.</p>
<p>Rationally, with how many houses she had entered in the middle of the night to search through their pantries for food, she must have stumbled across rooms even more luxurious that the bathroom, but there was something about the fact that she could see the daylight coming in through the stained-glass window on the wall across from her, illuminating the room in brilliant blues, that, along with the fact that Midna did not have to remain alert every single second, made the room feel almost like it was welcoming her, urging her to step forwards.</p>
<p>And that was exactly what Midna did. Feeling like she did not really belong there with her dirty clothes and hair that smelt of smoke, Midna moved forwards, barely pausing to close the door behind her. There, right in front of her, she could see the bathtub, the feet lifting it off the floor.</p>
<p>Perhaps she should have felt scared, out of place in such a fancy room, but the moment Midna looked down at the water and saw how the steam was rising from it, promising her that this would be something completely unlike the cold water she would sometimes bathe in back at the base once the water in the pipes around the ship had to be replaced, making it necessary for them to carry bucket after bucket of water from the lake and back to the base, she already knew that she would drink up the experience and try to find as much comfort in it as she could.</p>
<p>Without really thinking about it, Midna threw her clothes onto the ground. Anju had said that she would bring her something else, and even if she had wanted to keep the old blouse, Midna doubted that she would be allowed to bring it with her to the castle. Besides, the aroma of something flowery, almost like the fragrance that had surrounded Zelda the first time they had met, was pulling her forwards, closer to the bathtub, and given how the seconds she would have spent trying to find a place to put her clothes would have meant another moment of her not being in the water, Midna could not have cared less about what happened to any of it.</p>
<p>As the water closed around her, Midna could almost understand those who claimed that flying through the air would never be the same as sailing on the ocean. If being aboard a ship felt even a little bit like this, the warm water that rose up around her as she fiddled with the tap in front of her, maybe they had been right about the sky never being able to compete with the sea.</p>
<p>It all came to an end far too soon, Anju knocking on the door after what felt like barely a minute.</p>
<p>“Midna?” she called. “I have found something for you to wear. Do you want me to leave it out here?”</p>
<p>“Uh.” casting a glance towards the towel on the stool next to the tub, Midna decided that, with how she was not exactly in a hurry to leave the water to put on her old clothes just to be able to let Anju into the room, it might be the only choice she had. “Yes, just do that. Thank you.”</p>
<p>Anju did not answer, but from the sound of retreating footsteps, Midna could tell that she had done exactly as she had suggested. Later, Midna would have to think of a way to try to give Anju a subtle sign that Cremia and Romani were all right—she owed her that much after how Anju had shown her all of this—but for now, she would be more than happy to play along with her role of a poor girl from a village who had just found herself surrounded by all of this luxury. It didn’t even mean that she had to lie, not much at least. For as the water began to grow colder, Midna deciding that she would not be able to stay in there any longer, not without people beginning to wonder where she was, only to find out that the towel was softer than anything she had ever felt before, so different from how she had used to just put on her clothes, letting the water seep into the fabric and then waiting next to the firebox for it to dry, Midna found herself continuing to send amazed glances at the things around her even though she was alone in the room.</p>
<p>And then, just as she had wrapped the towel around her, almost like a switch had been flipped, Midna could feel the tears gather in the corners of her eyes. Would this have been her life if things had been different? Looking around her, it felt almost like this was something from another world, but the truth was that if the Twilight Realm still existed as more than just a memory, if her mother had still been alive, if Midna had been raised as a princess, she might have looked at all of this and seen nothing more than what she was used to seeing each and every day. It was a strange thought really, that someone could ever not be amazed at all of this, but nevertheless, Midna knew that it was the truth. The only reason she found herself at a loss for words as she opened the door a little, allowing her to pull the pile of clothes Anju had left for her into the room was an event that had taken place years before she had been born.</p>
<p>As much as she tried to control her thoughts, already aware of how she was nearing dangerous territory, Midna knew that it was pointless. There was nothing she could do to stop the images from appearing, how this might have been her life once. She would have been a princess, the heir to the Twili throne. Of course, she would never have had a reason to be aboard the ship, to search for a hidden door, but even then, Midna was certain that she would still have met Zelda. They had to; she could not imagine a scenario where they would not have met each other. Only, if she had been a princess as well, maybe they would have grown up together. Perhaps their parents would have tried to make them spend time with one another, to strengthen the ties between their kingdoms. The idea that there might have been a world where Ganondorf, rather than simply seizing control of the Twilight realm, had attempted to gain more influence through diplomacy was very much a fantasy, Midna knew that, but as she stood there, trying her best to figure out how Zelda had been able to look so regal in her blue gown, knowing that the dress Anju had let her borrow was far simpler than it had been, that she should be able to figure out how it was supposed to be worn, it was tempting to try to convince herself that it was reality, ignoring the way she knew that it was not and would never be the case. Despite everything, despite the way she wanted for it to be different, the truth was that she was here with Zelda, trying their best to get Midna to the castle to give her the chance to kill the two people standing between Zelda and the throne. That was all there was to it, and Midna had to make sure that she would not forget about that. But as she remembered how Zelda had looked back at her while being dragged away by Madame Aroma, it was difficult to keep reminding herself of that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Somehow, Midna was able to pull herself somewhat together by the time she had left the room, Anju showing her through another corridor that seemed to continue on for far longer than what the size of the house should have allowed for. Or, at least, she was able to sit down at the dinner table without immediately bursting into tears again at the way Zelda smiled at her when she sat down next to her, looking almost like she had been waiting for her as she sat there. Which, in a way, as neither Zelda, nor Mayor Dotour, Madame Aroma, or the young man Midna assumed was Kafei had anything on their plates yet despite the delicious smell coming from the various dishes that decorated the table, Midna supposed could be the case. But still, as Zelda let her hand brush against hers under the table, the touch lasting for a fraction of a moment, hidden by the heavy fabric of Zelda’s lilac gown, Midna was almost able to convince herself that it could mean more than just that she was grateful to see that she had arrived, saving her from having to get through the dinner alone.</p>
<p>For the dinner was something they had to get through. Not even the sheer amount of food she was presented with was enough to distract Midna from the fact that Madame Aroma was determined to get them to tell her more about what had happened, constantly looking over at Zelda after even the slightest pause, almost like she was simply waiting for Zelda to continue. With how it was going, Midna did not have to even ponder the question of whether they would find themselves running out of stories to tell her. If Madame Aroma continued to ask her questions at the same rate as she was doing in that moment, it was simply a question of time before they would no longer have the comfort of knowing that they had coordinated their lies. In other words, Midna had to do something, the conclusion only becoming more apparent as Zelda began to stutter, trying to hide the fact that her ears were becoming red as she struggled to make up the lies quicker than Madame Aroma could think of her next questions.</p>
<p>“I am sorry,” Midna said, interrupting Zelda’s story of how they had had to run away from wolves in the forest, a fact that made Madame Aroma send her a stare that, while not completely out of the realms of politeness, was undoubtedly much sharper than it had been when she had looked at Zelda, “but if you would please excuse her. You see, Zelda had quite a hard time with the pirates. Where I was able to make them somewhat forget about me, seeing as Zelda was—is the princess, they were obviously a lot more interested in her. So if we could refrain from having to discuss her experiences, I think that it would be for the best.”</p>
<p>It was not until it was already too late, everyone staring at her, that Midna realised her mistake.</p>
<p>“You…” Kafei pointed at her with his fork, his gaze flickering back towards Zelda before he turned towards Anju, looking almost like he wanted to confirm that he had heard correctly, that he was not simply making things up, “you must have meant—”</p>
<p>“Please, it is nothing.” Zelda was at her side a moment later, fighting to take care of the mess Midna had just created by forgetting her title. “Back when we were both kept prisoner, I came to realise that me reminding them that I was the princess of Hyrule did not achieve anything other than making the pirates angry, so after we escaped, I asked, no, I might actually have ordered Midna here to not use my title when referring to me. Really,” Zelda sent her a smile, and as she took her hand, Midna could almost make herself believe that she would still have done that even if they had not been sitting there, Zelda now having to try to figure out a way to explain why she had just made such a blunder, “with how much time we spent together, I would never be able to feel insulted for something like that, not when she has saved my life so many times.”</p>
<p>Across the table, Anju began to cry. At first, the sound of her sobs was low enough for Midna to think that she was making it up, but then she saw how Kafei moved, trying his best to whisper something to Anju, both Mayor Dotour and Madame Aroma caught between the two couples, looking back and forth between them as Anju pushed her chair back. It slid across the wooden floor, producing a shrill whine.</p>
<p>“I am sorry, but I—I will not be able to finish this meal with you. Now, if you will please excuse me.” Anju did not wait for an answer, having already halfway turned around to leave the room, and although she kept her steps even, controlled, it was clear from the ways her shoulders were shaking that she was crying, the only thing keeping her from outright sprinting out of the room being the fact that the princess of Hyrule was there.</p>
<p>Kafei followed after her only a moment later, though he was able to appear a little calmer as he looked back at them. “Princess, please excuse me, but I have to—I have to make sure that she will be all right. You have to understand that her friend—well, our friend, really—”</p>
<p>But Zelda cut in, simply nodding at him. “I understand; there is no need to explain. After all, it would be quite hypocritical of me not to share your pain after everything that has happened, would it not?”</p>
<p>The relief in Kafei’s eyes could not have been more obvious if he had tried. With a look that told them that, despite how he had been able to get out more words than her, Kafei was no less affected by Cremia’s disappearance than Anju was, only better at hiding it, he turned around as well, hurrying out of the room through the same set of double doors as Anju had pushed open moments before.</p>
<p>That left Midna and Zelda alone with his parents, and although neither Anju nor Kafei had said much, it only took a few moments for Midna to begin to miss their presence. Of course, she knew that she could not blame the entirety of the awkward atmosphere on the fact that Anju and Kafei were no longer there, for with how Madame Aroma was clearly trying her best not to look embarrassed, the red dots that spread across her cheeks had been brought on by the way her son and daughter-in-law had left rather than the fact that they were no longer there.</p>
<p>But she did manage to keep it somewhat together for longer than what Midna would have expected, clasping her hands together as her voice got a little louder, rising to a level that was a bit shriller as she gestured towards them. “Well, after that, frankly… awkward scene, I am sure that the two of you would like to get a chance to sleep in a proper bed for a change. I am sure that those pirates did not exactly give you that luxury, so why don’t I call for the maid and instruct her to prepare two guest bedrooms?”</p>
<p>The fate of the kingdom and, more importantly, everyone back at the base depended on whether or not she would be able to make it through this masquerade, and yet, the only thing that kept Midna from revealing her true identity in that moment by telling Madame Aroma that they had got real beds to sleep in back at the base was the fact that Zelda tightened her grip on her hand, a silent warning for her to stay quiet as she sent Madame Aroma a brilliant smile.</p>
<p>“It is very generous of you, Madame Aroma,” she said, and Midna could see how the fact that the princess was giving her her full attention was enough to finally make Madame Aroma look a little more at ease, the red spots disappearing as Zelda continued, “but, after all the time we spent with the pirates, after the months of only being able to trust each other… well, I know that I would feel much safer if we could stay closer to each other.” a little laugh, Zelda clearly trying her best to sound relaxed was enough to make the doubtful expression disappear, the little crease that had appeared between Madame Aroma’s eyebrows becoming smooth again. “I know, I know. It is irrational, we are perfectly safe in here, but still. I know that it is a big thing to ask for, but—”</p>
<p>It worked, Madame Aroma brushing all of Zelda’s doubts aside with a single, exaggerated wave. “Not at all, Your Royal Highness. If you really want that, I will just tell the maid to prepare one of the bedrooms to house two people. It really is not any problem.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Zelda let the smile grow as she looked back and forth between Madame Aroma and the mayor, not letting go of Midna’s hand for even a moment as she did so.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course, it is not a problem, You Royal Highness.”</p>
<p>“Still, let me thank you. It—” Midna could not tell how much the way Zelda’s voice trembled was due to her trying to keep up the pretence and how much of it was acting, and, for some reason, the thought that there might be more to it than just Zelda trying her best to make it so that they could stay together made her stomach feel like it was falling through the clouds, making it difficult for her to pay attention as Zelda wiped a few tears away from the corners of her eyes before looking over at Madame Aroma, “it means a lot to me. Truly, thank you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Madame Aroma might have spent the entire journey over to the guest bedroom where they would stay—for that was what it was, a journey, based on the sheer scale of the house—apologising for how it really was not a  room fit for a princess, repeating over and over again that, if she had known about the fact that Zelda would give them the honour of staying with them, she would have ordered the servants to prepare the entire house for her, but as she opened the door, acting almost like she was expecting for them to turn around and demand something better, Midna still found herself without the words necessary to describe what she saw.</p>
<p>The room was undoubtedly smaller than most of what she had seen so far in the house, but still, that was the only thing Midna could see that would be able to explain why Madame Aroma continued to act like it was a great embarrassment to her to have to show Zelda the bedroom.</p>
<p>“The maid should have left a couple of nightgowns for you,” Madame Aroma said, pointing towards where the two dresses had been placed on each of the bed, the fabric looking as white as snow, the colour of the fabric instantly making Midna suspect that neither the dresses nor anyone in the house other than her and Zelda had ever been within a hundred metres of a steam engine, much less ever tried to shovel coal into the firebox to keep the engine going, “and if there is anything else you might need, don’t hesitate to call, and then the servants will make sure that you have what you might ask for.”</p>
<p>Zelda bowed her head, and although Midna knew that it would have happened, knew that they had went over the fact that this was their only hope of ever making it to the castle, it was still strange to see her with the perfectly rehearsed smile, the voice that only rose when it was supposed to, perfectly even and controlled as she thanked their host. “Thank you. I know that I must have said it before, but I really cannot thank you enough for letting us stay here. After the pirates, it is so nice to see a friendly face, something I am sure my father will agree with me on once I get home to the castle.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Madame Aroma blushed as she brushed Zelda’s gratitude aside with a flick of her wrist, “it really is not anything to talk about. I am just grateful for the fact that we were able to help. Goddesses knows that after everything the two of you have been through, the least we could do was to provide you with a place to stay while making the preparations for you to be flown home. Speaking of which, I hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive my son and daughter-in-law. I understand that it must feel horrible to have to think about what has happened to you again, but they… after their friend disappeared, I began to almost fear that they would be the next to be taken from us with how much time they spent at her abandoned farm, trying to look for her and her sister.”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Zelda nodded. “I can understand that feeling perfectly, it really is nothing to apologise for.” as the silence between them grew, Madame Aroma not moving at all, Zelda faked a yawn, the fact that it was not exactly real only given away by how it was much more regal than what Midna had seen back at the base. But it appeared to do the job, Madame Aroma having already got the message before Zelda had even closed her mouth again to send her a tiny smile. “I am sorry, but, considering everything that has happened lately, would you excuse my friend and me if we go to bed now?”</p>
<p>“I—” for a moment, Madame Aroma glanced over at Midna, looking almost like she really saw her and not just the girl she had been forced to let into her home because her princess had insisted on bringing her along, but, while Midna would have been glad to see that at any other moment, right then, with how the entire mission depended on her not being recognised, the glance simply made her step back, hoping that by putting enough distance between herself and Madame Aroma, she might be able to avoid her becoming suspicious of just how she had happened to save the princess, what a simple girl from a village had done to get the cell next to a princess. But the moment passed just as quickly as it had arrived, Madame Aroma finally nodding at Zelda, “you don’t have to ask for my permission, princess, we are simply here to help.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Zelda’s smile was perfectly pleasant, and had it not been for the fact that she was standing behind her, Midna doubted she would have noticed how she clenched her fist behind her back, her knuckles becoming white as she dug her nails into her palms. “I am thankful for your help.”</p>
<p>Finally, Madame Aroma left them, though she did pause in the door, hesitating for just enough time to make Midna begin to fear that she would not leave them yet, instead finding another excuse for staying with them. But, at last, she closed the door behind her.</p>
<p>The moment they were alone, her reasons for keeping up the pretence having left, Zelda instantly dropped the cheery façade, simply walking over to fall down onto the bed, the lilac silk of her gown moving along with her as she let out a groan.</p>
<p>She should have stayed where she was. If Midna had known what would be best for her, if she had been able to ignore the fact that her heart was practically begging her to go over to make sure that Zelda was all right, she would have stayed where she was, waiting for Zelda to regain her composure, waiting for her to be able to tell her how to act. But, and maybe that was what hurt the most, she could not fool herself into thinking that the only reasons she cared about how Zelda was feeling, why she moved over to touch her shoulder, was that, without Zelda, Midna would be doomed.</p>
<p>“Zelda?” Midna whispered, feeling how Zelda responded to her touch by letting out a deep sigh. “Zelda, you did great back there.”</p>
<p>That made Zelda push herself off the bed, standing back up so quickly that it forced Midna to move her hand away. By all means, it should have made her happy, but a single glance at Zelda’s face was enough to tell Midna that it was not something to celebrate, already before Zelda shook her head, an utterly defeated look making the smile Midna had been so used to seeing on her face look like it was something she had made up all those times.</p>
<p>“I know.” Zelda’s voice was barely more than a whisper, and yet, as Midna stood there, she knew that she would have been able to hear her no matter what. In that moment, even though the fate of her entire world was still uncertain, hanging from a thread, Midna would have been content to just stay in those few seconds for forever, pausing time if that was what it would take to allow them to stay like this for the rest of eternity. But, of course, that could not happen, not as Zelda continued. “I know, I was good at it, I was good at pretending, at remembering the etiquette, but, goddesses, Midna, I wish I didn’t have to!” Zelda barely had to raise her voice, the edge of pure desperation that had found its way into her words was enough for Midna to know that, had it not been for the fact that they could not afford any of the other inhabitants of the house finding out about their plan, Zelda would have yelled as loudly as she possibly could.</p>
<p>“Zelda, I—” she didn’t know what to say. All this time, she had been so used to how it had always been her who was the one to lash out, to yell and scream when life became difficult, only for Zelda to appear at her side, ready to try her best to assure her that everything would be all right in the end. And maybe she should have learnt something from that, perhaps Midna should have looked at her during all the times where Zelda had reached out to put an arm around her, whispering to her how there was still hope, and tried to learn what Zelda did to cheer her up, storing those snippets of information for later. In hindsight, Midna could say that it was absolutely what she should have done, she should have prepared herself for the moment when she would find herself in this exact situation. But she hadn’t, a truth that left her trying her best to come up with something to say and already knowing that she would fail.</p>
<p>She was not able to think of anything that would have had even the slightest chance of making Zelda feel better before Zelda had retreated back behind the façade of the princess she was supposed to act like in that moment. Shaking her head once, just enough to let her hair fall back, trying to smooth out the creases in her dress that told of how she had been lying on the bed seconds earlier, Zelda looked back up at her. “It is nothing—don’t think about it. I just think that I might have been a bit more honest than I had thought when I pretended to yawn, that is all.”</p>
<p>It was clear that that was a lie. Really, if Zelda had displayed the same lack of acting back at the dinner table, Midna was certain that the mayor would have figured it all out back then. But she was a coward in the end, and so, she accepted the lie for what it was, a way for them to not have to try to handle the reason for why Zelda turned away from her, patting her tears away. No, rather than trying to understand what was happening, Midna followed Zelda’s lead, the two of them retreating to opposite corners of the room to change into the nightgowns Madame Aroma had provided them with. Despite the fact that the dresses were exactly as lavish as everything else she had seen in the house, Midna was not able to enjoy the feeling of the fabric against her skin, not when she could hear how Zelda fought to keep her breathing even, holding back the sobs, just a few metres away from her. And, even then, she still said nothing, climbing up into the bed, barely able to do it in one try due to the countless of blankets, pillows, and quilts that had been stacked on top of the mattress.</p>
<p>“Goodnight.” Midna whispered the word to the silent room, not expecting for it to be met with anything more than the deafening silence that had come to rest between her and Zelda.</p>
<p>For a moment, she was almost convinced that she was imagining the hushed response. It really was not until she could feel how the left side of the bed, the side where Zelda’s bed was located just a couple of metres away from her own, dipped slightly, that Midna knew it was real.</p>
<p>“Midna?” there was something in Zelda’s voice, something Midna had not heard before, something she did not know what to think of. In those few seconds it took before Midna opened her eyes, rolling to the side to watch how Zelda had placed her hands on the mattress, leaning onto it, it sounded almost like Zelda was either going to begin to cry again or laugh.</p>
<p>Maybe it was the fact that she truly could not tell what would happen next that made Midna remain quiet even as she looked into Zelda’s eyes and saw the tears, instead letting the task of talking fall upon Zelda’s shoulders.</p>
<p>With a glance that did not reveal the reasons for why she accepted the burden, Zelda continued. “I—Midna, would it be all right with you if I slept here?”</p>
<p>It took just a moment too long for Midna to realise that Zelda was not talking about how she had requested for them to be able to stay in the same room for the night, that ‘here’ did not mean ‘in another bed, only a few metres away from you’, but rather ‘here, right next to you, so close that you will not be able to move without brushing against me’, but as she did, she could only whisper a short thankyou to the darkness of the room for making sure to hide the fact that she must be blushing, considering how warm she felt as she looked up at Zelda. “Here?” she  let the word hang in the air between them, not quite sure if she was hoping for Zelda to clarify that of course she did not mean in the same bed or if she just wanted to make sure that she had not already fallen asleep, stuck in a nightmare that must have confused itself with a dream. Midna did not know what to think of the way her heart fluttered as Zelda only nodded in response to the question, but it was still not enough to keep her from being so aware of the fact that she had to answer now, that she could almost feel how the blood rushed through her veins as she fought to give a reply. “Well, I mean, yes, of course, but… well, what if Madame Aroma decides that she will have to come back to ask us if we need anything? What will we tell her then?”</p>
<p>“That it was the only way I was able to feel save.” Zelda might have meant to smile at her, but the grimace that passed over her face looked completely unlike the smile Midna had come to know. “Just… please, Midna, I can’t… not tonight, not when this might be the last time we are able to sleep this close to each other.”</p>
<p>And in that moment, it all made sense. All the times Midna had thought that she had been able to hear something else in Zelda’s voice, all the times she had felt herself drawn to her, unable to move away despite the fact that she should have known better than to let herself get close to the princess of Hyrule, despite the fact that she knew that she was fighting against everything Zelda and her family represented. The way Link and Ilia had acted when she had mentioned Zelda, why it had felt almost like someone had dug a knife into her heart when she had seen Zelda look over at Cremia with so much warmth in her eyes that it felt like she had to take warmth away from the air around Midna to do so. Everything came together to let Zelda appear a little brighter in Midna’s thoughts, and, at the same time, the questions that had been answered in that moment only left her even more confused than before.</p>
<p>But one thing was certain—Midna would not be able to look at Zelda and say no, not now and most likely not ever again. Moving a little to the side, pushing the layers of blankets away, Midna tried her best to regain control over her voice. “Of course.”</p>
<p>Zelda did not waste any time, already climbing up to lie down next to her, helping Midna pull up the blanket to cover both of them again.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda really was only there because this might very well be the last time they would ever be able to let down their guards like this, already anticipating the fact that, in only a few, short hours, they would be aboard a ship from the royal fleet, put on a course that would bring them to Hyrule Castle. Midna knew that she was being a fool by allowing herself to hope that it might ever have been anything more than that, but, as she lay there, feeling how Zelda’s breathing soon became more even as she rolled up next to her, she could not see how she was supposed to not allow herself to nurture a hopeless belief that it might be about more than just that.</p>
<p>“Zelda,” Midna whispered, waiting for a moment before deciding that the lack of a response had to be enough for her to be certain that Zelda would not be able to hear her, the assurance that she would not one day be confronted with what she might say giving her the strength to continue, “I promise you that I will do everything within my power to make sure that this will not be the last moments of freedom, not for any of us.”</p>
<p>As Midna brushed a strand of hair out of Zelda’s face, she was almost able to make herself believe that she saw a hint of a smile tucking at Zelda’s lips. But it was gone the next moment, leaving Midna to look down at her, wondering what had happened to her for her life to become such as mess. To think that it was only a few months since she had been content to just survive for another day, attacking ships to gather enough food to make it through the winter. Back then, back when she had not even known about Zelda’s existence, only known about how the princess of Hyrule was said to be one of the wisest people in the land, always scoffing at the idea of the people around her being so blind that they would idolise a member of the royal family despite the fact that she represented the very thing that had taken everything from them, Midna had been able to convince herself that she hated every little part of the royal family, but now, she could feel that resolve crumbling to the ground.</p>
<p>It should have been terrifying to feel how the walls she had built over the years all began to collapse at the same time, but for some reason, the hollow feeling of all the hate and anger disappearing at once did not appear, something else entirely instead filling the spot in her heart it should have received. That was what truly scared Midna as she lay there next to Zelda, the fact that, despite how she knew that she might still be able to slip out of the window, unseen and unheard, and leave Zelda alone to face the fate that would await her once she had returned to Hyrule Castle, she was more trapped now than any chains would ever have made her become.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And with that, they are closer to the capital than ever before, and Midna still has not fully begun to let herself recognise her own feelings. But she is working on it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Midna could have sworn that she would never be able to rest enough to fall asleep with Zelda lying next to her, but somehow, through the night, she must have managed to do so despite her doubts, for she woke up the next morning to see the sunlight coming in through the window, illuminating the room.</p>
<p>For a moment she simply lay there, completely at ease, but then she looked down, trying to decide the reason for why something was tickling her arm and felt the dream she must still be in the middle of almost smiling at her.</p>
<p>Zelda was lying in her arms, having placed her head into the little dip between Midna’s shoulder and neck, lying with her hair spread over her cheek, making it so that the light hit it. In that moment, Midna was sure that she had been blind for all those months, for as she looked at Zelda, she began to see colours in her hair that had never been there before, red, copper, blonde, and almost white strands of hairs peeking out from beneath the brown colour she had come to know and adore.</p>
<p>She would have been content to stay like that forever, which, of course, meant that Zelda woke up the next moment, blinking slowly, before she too realised how they had come to lay quite close to each other during the night, her cheeks becoming tinged with redness as she muttered an apology while untangling herself from Midna. That was for the better. After all, if anything went wrong now, if Midna would walk onto the deck of the ship with Zelda only to find out that their lie had been found out, a guard dragging her away from their princess, it would have felt even worse if she had been forced to let go of Zelda after having confessed to her that she was not sure she would be able to stay so close to her, allowing Zelda to sleep in her bed again.</p>
<p>Her thoughts flying through her head was almost enough to distract her from how Zelda tried to talk to her while getting dressed, and what little words that still managed to reach her were easy to ignore simply by focusing on absolutely nothing except for all the buttons and clasps that had to be closed to secure the dress Anju had brought to her, making it so that Midna almost did not have to force herself to continue to stare directly into the wall in front of her.</p>
<p>Not even as they stepped out into the hallway, Madame Aroma soon joining them as they reached the hall, did Zelda stop talking with her, though the subject of just how Zelda would try her best to convince her father to let her saviour stay in a room close to Zelda’s own quarters soon became a conversation about how she could not wait to tell her father about how brave Midna had been while saving her, how she had stayed willingly, risking her own chances of escape, just to make sure that Zelda would be able to escape as well.</p>
<p>Really, by the time Madame Aroma interrupted their conversation, Midna was almost relieved, almost greeting the chance to not have to hide the fact that each word out of Zelda’s mouth only made her even more certain that the realisation from the day before had not just been the result of anxiousness and lack of sleep. It would have been so much easier that way. Then, Midna might have been able to walk directly towards what might very well be her death, finding comfort in the fact that she had not left any unfinished business, that this was all she could ever have hoped to achieve in her life, getting the one chance of showing Ganondorf that no matter how many lies he might try to spread, she would never believe him. But now, no amount of thoughts about how she might be able to have her revenge in a couple of days was enough to make her forget about the panic in Zelda’s voice that night, how she was about to bring Zelda back to the very place she had fought so hard to leave in the first place. If anything went wrong, if Midna was caught, she did not even have to wonder what would happen to Zelda. The way Zelda continued to clench and unclench her fists, grabbing fistfuls of fabric from the front of her dress, seemingly not paying attention to the fact that she was making the fabric become creased, was enough for her to know the answer to that question, to know that failure might result in death for Midna, but that, for Zelda, it would be synonymous with the fate of being flown to Labrynna immediately to marry a prince she had never met.</p>
<p>“My husband has already talked with the guards.” Madame Aroma began to walk towards a door in the back of the room, seemingly so certain that they could barely wait to follow her, to get back to the castle, that she did not turn around to make sure that they were walking along with her. “They arrived a little past five this morning, so they should be more than ready to get the two of you back home. Or—I suppose it might really just be one of you.” she sent Midna a look, and as Midna looked down at the front of her dress, she could see how she had missed one of the buttons in her haste to get dressed that morning.</p>
<p>Fiddling with the button in question, but soon coming to the realisation that she would not be able to take care of it due to how she had then skipped a button all the way down, Midna followed along, just a few steps behind Zelda, as Madame Aroma showed them into a little courtyard behind the house.</p>
<p>“There.” Madame Aroma nodded towards a blue gate in front of them, already in the process of digging through her pockets, soon taking out a bunch of keys, her search for the right one making the metal clatter. “The ship is just outside the town, waiting for you in the Termina Fields. My husband thought that you might prefer not having to go through the town again and have to leave through the main gates, a decision that both Anju and Kafei agreed with him on.” she paused for a moment, turning around to roll her eyes at them, almost like she was expecting for them to find it ridiculous. “Yes, I know, I tried to tell them that after everything you two have been through, you would only feel safer with a couple of extra guards around you, but then I began to really think about it, and I have to admit that they might be right. Although I would not say that the people here are all that curious, it is not every day we have to princess of Hyrule and… her saviour here with us.”</p>
<p>Finally, she found the right key. It felt almost like she was trying her best to make the time it took for her to turn it drag on for eternity, and, considering what little interaction she had been able to have with her over the last couple of days, Midna would not have been surprised if that was really the case, but, at last, Madame Aroma pushed the door open.</p>
<p>Midna had waited for that to happen, had almost made the world she would then step out into become freedom in her mind to a point where it was enough to make her have to take a step back as she saw the soldier waiting for her on the other side of the gates. For a moment, she could feel how the fear, the irrational thought that they had found out about her, made her blood feel more like ice than anything else, the fact that she froze completely being the thing that saved her as it was what kept her from turning around and attempting to flee, giving away the truth. But then, she was able to breathe again, able to tell herself that this was all part of the plan, that the ship behind the guard was even larger than the Shadow, the crest of the Hyrulean royal family decorating both the hull and the mainsail. They would not have sent such a regal ship for her if they had known about her. She had to have faith, not only in Zelda, but also in the plan and herself, those were the only things standing between her and an early demise.</p>
<p>Still, not even the fact that she should have known better, that it was sure to make the soldier become a little more suspicious of her, was enough to keep Midna from instinctively reaching out for Zelda’s hand as they walked out of the gate, leaving both Madame Aroma’s overly enthusiastic attempts at making them feel welcome, Anju and Kafei’s grief, and what little sense of safety the house had been able to offer them behind to instead put themselves into a position where they had no choice other than to depend fully on the plan they had thought of back at the base, a plan that was by no means safe.</p>
<p>“Your Royal Highness.” the soldier bowed, keeping his gaze fixed on the ground as Zelda walked over to him. “We have been sent by the king to ensure that you will return home safely.”</p>
<p>“Thank you…?”</p>
<p>“Captain Onox.”</p>
<p>Though the man did not move, did not give any indication that he would ever look up to meet her gaze, Zelda still smiled at him. “Thank you, Captain Onox. I will make sure to remember that name when my father asks me about who was the one to make certain that we would not be attacked while flying back home. Now, if you will allow it, Midna and I will make our way onto the ship.” Zelda moved to step around him, having already halfway pulled Midna along when Onox stepped to the side, blocking her path.</p>
<p>“My apologies, princess,” Onox said, though his voice did not exactly make the apology seem all that sincere, “but I have received my orders directly from the king. I am to not let anyone but you into the cabin. If Midna wants to come with us, she will have to stay in another room.”</p>
<p>“I am sorry.” Zelda turned, sending Midna a glance, telling her to remain silent, not that there was any need for any of that. Right then, Midna knew better than to attempt to change the guard’s mind. She was not dumb enough to think that anything she would have been able to think of would ever be able to achieve more, to bring them closer to their goal, than Zelda’s polite behaviour as she tilted her head to the side, looking like she was sure that she had misheard. “I understand that you have your orders, but Midna was the person to make my escape possible in the first place. Surely, my father will be able to understand that, I just have to explain it to him, which I will make certain to do the moment we arrive back at the castle.”</p>
<p>“I am sure that you will make the king change his mind.” Onox sent Zelda a poisonous smile, looking like he was not at all sorry for how he proceeded to step forwards, reached out to close his fist around Midna’s wrist.  “But the king was very clear about how I was to not let anyone be close to you under any circumstances. So if she has to come back to the castle with us, she will have to stay in another room.”</p>
<p>Only the fact that Zelda looked even more panicked than she felt in that moment, her mouth opening and closing at such a speed that Midna was not certain just how many arguments Zelda were going through, trying to find the one that would make the guard let go of her right in that instant, only to find herself without anything to say, reaching the conclusion that, no matter what she might have been able to sling at him, her words as a princess would never be able to outweigh those uttered by a king, kept Midna from pulling her hand closer to herself, twisting around in such a way that she would immediately gain the upper hand in the fight that would undoubtedly follow next. Instead, she tried her best to push down the little tendrils of fear creeping through her body, putting on a smile she hoped did not look too fake as she began to walk along next to Onox, grateful for the fact that her height allowed her to move slowly, with even steps, rather than how she would have had to run to keep up with him if she had been shorter.</p>
<p>As she was lead up on the plank that connected the deck of the ship with the ground, the royal family of Hyrule apparently being above such things as rope ladders, Midna could hear how Zelda had given up as well, simply walking alongside the guard who had come to escort her to her cabin.</p>
<p>It was not good, not good at all, Midna was forced to admit that. They had barely made it away from Clock Town, and the plan was already beginning to fall apart around them, but as she was able to hear that Zelda was at least not panicking, she was able to find a little bit of peace in that. Maybe Zelda would be able to think of something, maybe she would be able to figure out a way for them to communicate with each other before they would be brought into the castle. In fact, the moment Midna had thought of the idea, she already knew that it would be the case, that, in just a few moments, Zelda would have formed the plan that would make it so that the soldiers had no other choice than to let them at least talk with each other. She just had to keep up the pretence of being a girl from a tiny village who had never even met the king’s guards, much less seen a ship as impressive as the one she found herself on moments later for a little bit longer, then their goal would be within reach. Then, neither Midna nor Zelda would ever have to pretend again.</p>
<p>She tried to find a little bit of warmth in the idea of such a future as the soldier led her below deck, walking through a corridor that looked almost like it was a perfect copy of the one in her own ship, opening up the door only to reveal to her that, much like the rooms she had passed by on the Shadow, the rooms here were also almost perfectly square, only one of the walls letting her know that they had not left the ship after all with the slight curve to it.</p>
<p>If Midna had had the strength and the courage to do so, she should have resisted, have tried to fight her way off the ship, doing exactly what she had told Anju she had done and go to rescue Zelda. But, no matter how much her stomach ached, trying to tell her that it was not a good idea to continue in this direction, Midna could not deny the fact that, even though she would be brought back to the castle in a manner unlike what she and Zelda had planned for, they would still achieve the first step of Renado and Shad’s plan as to how to overthrow the king. And really, with the dream so close to her fingertips, how would Midna ever have been able to let her fears control her now, make herself give in to them and try to flee? It was not only a matter of how, plan or no plan, this ship would still take her to Hyrule Castle and the king, but also that any attempt at escape would most likely end with her being captured and brought back despite anything she might say or do. So, trying her best to force herself not to panic, Midna stepped into the room, moving quickly so that she would not give Onox any reason to try to push her into the room.</p>
<p>Midna had barely even turned around, trying her best to catch a glimpse of the captain, before he had shut the door behind her. Already before she heard the sound of the metal twisting around inside the lock, she knew that she would not be allowed to roam freely around the ship, not while the princess was aboard. So much for having been the person responsible for the rescue of the princess of Hyrule, or at least that was what she hoped. This, all of this, it had to simply be a sign that the king really did not care too much about his daughter, that he was not naïve enough to let anyone walk around his ship while in the air, nothing other than that. When all was said and done, Midna supposed that she could not exactly blame him for that, not when she was there to try to get close enough to him and his son to make Zelda become the queen of the kingdom.</p>
<p>The ship creaked around her, the wooden planks giving a little as the steam engine began to groan loudly, slowly filling the balloon above their heads with warm air. Before long, Midna could feel how the solid ground disappeared from below them, the airship becoming light enough to take to the skies. Being down here, below deck, rather than standing at the rudder where she should have been, it felt like someone had tied a piece of cloth over her eyes. She could feel how the ship moved, giving in to the power of the wind that roared around them, leaning to the side ever so slightly, a particularly sudden gust of wind almost making Midna fall over onto the thin bed that had been pushed up against the wall. If anything happened, should they somehow figure out that they would need to do more than just this, Midna could not see how she would be able to fight, not with how they had taken away one of her senses.</p>
<p>Deep breaths. That was all she could do now. Fight to remain calm. In just a moment, they would be at Hyrule Castle, Midna knew that, had studied the maps of the land. The distance from Clock Town to Castle Town was barely more than a day if the journey was made on an airship; she did not have to spend much time in here. Soon enough, she would be able to walk alongside Zelda into the castle, putting up the façade again as Zelda would present her as the person responsible for having saved the princess of Hyrule, urging her father to show her gratitude by giving her a bedroom close to her own. It would be fine, Midna just had to ignore the feeling of something already having gone wrong for a little bit longer.</p>
<p>The ceiling above her creaked, and then, the sound so muffled that it took Midna a moment to realise that it was not simply a figment of her imagination, Zelda’s whispering voice filled the room. Looking up towards the ceiling, Midna tried to picture where she was, feeling how her stomach made it seem like she was falling through the air as she realised how she must be directly beneath the cabin.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Zelda kept her voice low, so low that Midna could tell that her struggles to hear what she was saying was not only due to the layer of wood that separated them, that Zelda was doing everything she could not to let anyone hear her. “Midna, can you hear me? Are you all right?”</p>
<p>She had to be lying on the floor, whispering the words directly to the floorboards, Midna realised. Glancing around the room, she tried her best to figure out a way for her to elevate herself, a way that would allow her to do the same. At last, she had to admit that, other than the bed, there was nothing in the room that would allow her to do the same, but, considering that, no matter what, it had to be better than nothing, Midna climbed up on top of the thin mattress, not pausing for even a moment to kick off the tiny shoes she had been given back at the mayor’s house. With how the floors had looked so clean that there had to have been a small army of maids hiding somewhere, cleaning them whenever they would not look, she doubted that it would leave any telling footprints on the bed, and that was assuming that the guards would even bother to look. For now, it was about Midna having to be able to answer Zelda before the silence would be enough for her to assume the worst.</p>
<p>Craning her neck, struggling for a moment against the unfamiliar feeling of the sleeves of the dress, Midna reached upwards, placing her hands flat against the ceiling. “Yes,” she said, clapping once against the wooden planks to make sure that, even if Zelda would not be able to hear her, she would still be able to know that she was perhaps not entirely all right, but at least alive, “I am right here, Zelda.”</p>
<p>“Goddesses!” Midna did not have to think twice to figure out what the reason for Zelda’s uneven breathing was; she could already hear the tears in her voice as she continued. “I am so sorry; I thought that—I don’t know what I was thinking. Arguably, I did not think at all, for if I had paused for even a moment to think things through, I should have been able to know that my father would never have allowed for you to stay with me in my cabin. Midna, I am so sorry, I—”</p>
<p>“Hey, it is all right.” it really wasn’t, not when Midna in that moment could say without even a shadow of a doubt that they were both thinking about the same thing, how, if the king would not even let her stay with Zelda for a day while being flown back to the castle, they would probably have to come up with a plan to answer the question of just what they would do when he would refuse Zelda’s plea to let Midna stay close to her in Hyrule Castle, but she had to make sure that Zelda would not be given yet another reason to cry. “Zelda, I am right here. They gave me the room below yours—I am still right here, I am just below you rather than next to you. Really, I am sure that we are actually closer to each other this way than we would have been if I had been able to stay in the same room.”</p>
<p>Zelda was silent for so long that Midna was almost certain that she had not been able to hear her, but, just as Midna was about to repeat herself, Zelda finally responded, her voice suddenly sounding like she had spent hours crying rather than just a few minutes. “I know. You are right. It is just… Midna, if anything goes wrong, if I—if it turns out that I am not able to convince my father about letting you stay, I just want you to know that the only thing I would have changed would be the choice to have you come with me.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that. I would never have allowed you to return back home completely alone, not after everything you have told me about that place.” when Zelda did not answer, neither expressing grief, nor joy, Midna decided to continue. Moving up onto the tip of her feet, forcing herself to ignore the discomfort of the new shoes, the way they did not at all bend even a little the way her boots had done, Midna brought herself a few centimetres closer to the ceiling, and, as such, Zelda. “Everything will be fine, I promise you that much. I will personally make sure that you will not be alone once we get back to the castle. Zelda, no matter what might happen, you will not be sent to Labrynna, do you hear me?”</p>
<p>Midna could almost hear how Zelda shook her head at her as she answered. “And here I thought that I was the one of us whose job it was to remain optimistic no matter what.” a dry laugh, no drop of humour to be found anywhere, made it through the floor between them. “Midna, if this fails, you will not be able to do anything. None of us will. That is why you have to listen to me right now when I say that, should this go wrong, I am so sorry for everything. I should not have brought you along, I should not have brought any of you along, not when I knew how vulnerable they all are now.”</p>
<p>“But I insisted on going along with you and this plan, so none of that matters now.” more than anything, Midna wished that she would be able to push through the wood, but no matter how hard she pressed the palms of her hands against the surface, it did not give in, instead remaining in place, separating her from Zelda. So, trying her best to ignore her own feelings of how it was all spinning out of control, she forced her voice to remain calm. Now, it was about making sure that, if this would really be their last moments together, Zelda would not have a reason to cry. “Zelda, no matter what happens, I promise you that I don’t regret it. Just… look, panicking does not help us at all right now, so why don’t you try to get some sleep? If you are anything like me, you did not get the chance to sleep that well this night, though I assume that—” she was barely able to interrupt herself in time, cutting in just before she would have shared her struggle with Zelda, telling her the reason for why she had lain awake until well into the night, instead trying to pass the pause off as her needing to clear her throat, “I assume that it would be better if we are fully rested when we arrive at the castle.”</p>
<p>“Why do you sound so much like you are repeating what I have told you?” as Zelda spoke, Midna could almost hear the smile through the floor.</p>
<p>Hoping that the same would be the case for Zelda, she did not try to fight against the smile that made its way onto her face. Even as the ship fought to sail against the wind, making the entire world tilt around her, almost like it wanted to warn her about what would await her once the journey came to an end, she was not able to deny the fact that as long as she was at least able to know that Zelda was not scared, she would be able to sleep through the night without thinking about what would happen next. “Maybe because I have learnt a lot from you? Because you make sense?”</p>
<p>This time, Zelda’s laugh sounded almost sincere. “Now, why does that sound like one of the biggest lies you have ever told me?” she continued almost immediately, only leaving enough time for Midna to smile up at the little imperfections in the wood. “But, for what it is worth, I think that the same might be the case the other way around. You really have taught me more than I could ever explain to you, Midna. All of this, everything that has happened, I would not change any of it if I got the chance. I realise that it sounds selfish, but,” a sigh made its way through the floor, “I suppose that is just the way it is with these kinds of… well, things. It makes us selfish.”</p>
<p>Wondering if there was a porthole up in Zelda’s cabin, allowing the rays of the sun to come into the room, painting Zelda in golden sunlight, Midna could only agree with that. “You are right. So let us be selfish for just a moment longer and not think about what awaits us at the end of this journey. Zelda, please, try to lie down for a moment, I promise you that everything will be fine. I have already come to terms with this; I will make sure that the base will not suffer even if we have already let the plan fall apart, I just have to listen to you tell me that you will be all right as well.”</p>
<p>“I—I can’t promise you that I will.”</p>
<p>“Then try.”</p>
<p>If anyone would have told her, just four months ago that this would be how she would spend what might very well become her last day of freedom, talking to a ceiling and hoping that the wood would allow her voice to pass through, carrying attempts at comforting the princess up into the cabin above her, Midna would not even have bothered to respond to such claims with anything other than a loud laugh. But here she was, in that exact situation, and despite the fact that there was still something about it all that felt almost unreal, she was not able to tear herself away, not when she had still not heard Zelda make the promise.</p>
<p>And then, just as Midna had been about to find herself with no other choice than to accept the fact that she would have to go to sleep not knowing if Zelda was going to be all right in the end, the silence in the room came to an end.</p>
<p>“If I promise you this, Midna, will you then promise me that you will do everything you can possibly do to survive all of this? No, don’t answer just yet; I want to make sure that you will hear each and every word of this. I have to know that, should this fail—rather, even if everything goes according to plan, you will not just stand there, waiting for the guards to seize you once you have made me the queen. I have to know that I am not bringing you back to the castle just to let you become a martyr.”</p>
<p>It was not until Zelda brought up the possibility of that happening that Midna realised that she might even have hoped that it would be the end for her. It was not exactly a case of her wanting to let it end like that, wanting to meet the end of her life inside the castle, but somehow, she must have been aware of the fact that the true Twilight Princess being killed by the king’s guards after freeing the Twilight Realm would provide Zelda with the perfect opportunity to issue a demand for the country to be allowed to return to its previous state of freedom once more, revealing how she had come to know its late princess and as such try to form a closer bond between herself and the next ruler.</p>
<p>“Zelda…” it was so tempting to agree with her and let Zelda convince her that she did not have to bring that sacrifice, but even then, Midna would have been a fool if she had thought that it could really be so simple, that she could promise her that she would be able to go through this and come out alive on the other side. Maybe Zelda wanted for her to simply lie to her, but as she stood there, aware of just how suspicious it would be if anyone were to open the door in that moment, Midna was not able to bring herself to lie, not when Zelda sounded like the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely was the fact that she could talk with her.</p>
<p>“Promise me.”</p>
<p>“I will try my best to survive.” that was the best thing she could say, not trying to make promises she might not be able to keep. And really, was it not a big enough offer to bring, to swear that she had given up the thought of letting Zelda leave all of this as the perfect queen? Midna thought so.</p>
<p>Maybe Zelda was able to tell that it was all she could get, for while she did not exactly sound like she tried to hide the disappointment in her voice as she answered, she had at least stopped crying. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Midna did not answer. Was there anything she could have said? What did you tell the person you might just have realised you would never want to be separated from again when you were both about to land within Hyrule Castle in less than two days, knowing that, even if you both made it out alive, there was no saying what the consequences of the plan would be? She did not know the answer to that, and so, Midna remained quiet.</p>
<p>It did not take long before the worries about the fate that awaited them had claimed most of her energy, leaving Midna to sink down onto the bed, soon finding her way into a restless sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More pining - because that is one of my favourite tropes and, even though she is planning to kill and overthrow the king, Midna still has not fully faced her own feelings!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She woke up a couple of times in the day it took for them to reach Castle Town, a soldier pushing a plate of food into the room four times, always leaving the room before she would have got the chance to even move towards the door, before the feeling of the hull of the ship suddenly meeting solid ground told her that they had arrived.</p>
<p>Walking up into the sunlight again felt almost like she had been robbed of it for far longer than only a little over a day. As Midna had to lower her gaze, her eyes struggling to get used to the sudden brightness, she could not deny that the feeling in her stomach was without a doubt the guilt over how she had made Zelda live in the same kind of darkness back when she had first come to live at the base. Only, where Midna had had to stay in the room for a day, Zelda had been there for several days. Granted, she had not had any other choice, but still, it did not make the feeling of bile rising in her throat any less horrible as Onox led her across the deck.</p>
<p>“Wait here.” Onox nodded towards the spot in front of them, leaving without another word.</p>
<p>Midna could see how the guards around her sent her poorly hidden glances, one of them making it even more obvious that they had been tasked with making sure that she would not be able to escape as he clutched his spear a little closer to him. They were fools if they thought that she was going to attempt to flee now when she was not only in a place that had been built specifically to not allow anyone who was not familiar with the architecture to enter or leave, but also had to play her part to the end if she wanted to be able to succeed.</p>
<p>They were escorted from the ship. She was not really sure about what she had expected—no matter how much Zelda might have been able to influence her over the months, Midna hoped that she had not grown to be naïve enough to think that they would ever have been allowed to walk around freely—but she could say for certain that this, a guard walking on each side of her, Zelda moving along right behind her, the rustling sound of the fabric of her dress letting Midna know that she was right there, was not what she had expected at all.</p>
<p>Hyrule Castle was a magnificent sight. No matter how much she might hate everything it housed, every reason for why it had been built, Midna could not deny that it was a sight unlike anything she had ever seen before, the tall walls that surrounded it looking almost non-existent against the tall towers at each side of the central structure, a few of them being so tall that it looked almost like they had been built to reach the sky. But, given how they were instantly moving towards what looked like it was the main entrance, a staircase leading up to a tall set of doors, Midna was not given a chance to examine the structure more closely. She would have to have faith in the map Renado and Shad had made, hope that she and Zelda would be able to remember enough of it to figure out a way to leave the castle once it all began. That, or Midna would simply have to accept the fact that they might be the first to die in the chaos that would no doubt follow the death of both the king and the crown prince. Had it been only a matter of trying to come to terms with her own death, it would have been easy enough, but given how she was not optimistic enough to believe that there would not be a general somewhere who would be more than ready to seize the chance to rise to power himself, letting Zelda die before she could have created peace, that was simply not an option.</p>
<p>At least that was what Midna tried to convince herself was the reason for why she slowed down a little while entering the castle, walking into the throne room, flanked by guards at both sides, trying every little thing she could possible do to bring herself even a single step closer to Zelda.</p>
<p>Inside the castle, it was almost colder than outside, the solid stone walls not doing much to keep out the chill. Still, as they walked up to the throne, Midna was soon able to recognise the figure sitting on the throne, regarding them with a bored look in his eyes, as Zant. She could not help but wonder if the shiver that ran down her back might not really have been caused by more than just the smile that greeted her.</p>
<p>He looked nothing like Zelda. Although he was her brother, Zant did not possess any of the warmth that Zelda almost seemed to emit, looking down at them with an expression that told them that he would be the perfect heir to the throne, the perfect heir to Ganondorf’s legacy. Only a superficial similarity, the way his features could have been beautiful the way Zelda’s were, had it not been for how he looked like he had been sculpted from a block of solid stone, served to dispel the doubts about their shared parentage.</p>
<p>“I see that you have finally returned.” after so long, it was almost strange to listen to Zant. Midna would never have dared to hope for any kind of warmth between the two siblings, she had been able to tell that it would have been hopeless to expect that from the moment Zelda had first begun to open up about life at the castle, but that did not mean that it was still not shocking to see just how little Zant seemed to care about the fact that his sister was still alive, simply twirling a strand of hair between his fingers as he sat up straighter on the throne. “And I see that you have brought a guest as well.”</p>
<p>Something was wrong, Midna could feel it. Zelda had to notice as well, she was bound to. It would not have been possible for her to have become friends with almost everyone back at the base if she was not able to read people well enough to realise that the situation in front of them was slipping out of their hands already.</p>
<p>As Zelda spoke up, Midna could hear how her refusal to give up hope was not caused by a childish sense of naïveté. No, as she stepped forwards, moving slowly as she walked around Midna, soon placing herself between her and the prince on the throne, there was no doubt that her refusal to accept the fact that they might have lost already had been born from nothing but pure hope.</p>
<p>“Forgive me, but I had expected to meet father,” she said, keeping her gaze fixed on a point on the floor right in front of her.</p>
<p>“Father is not here right now. But I can assure you that he would not have left me here if he was not confident in my abilities to handle any situation that might arise in his absence.”</p>
<p>Midna could only agree with him on that. The little sparkle in his eyes, the way he did not even attempt to hide the fact that he was enjoying everything about the situation, everything about the fact that they did not hold any power as they stood there, was enough to prove that he was just like his father. In that moment, Midna was only able to remain quiet, trusting that Zelda would be able to regain control.</p>
<p>Making an attempt at doing just that, Zelda cleared her throat, her voice becoming more confident as she spoke. “I understand. Then I will just have to tell you about the reason for why I made the request to see him immediately. As I am sure father has already informed you about, I have spent the last couple of months in captivity after my ship was attacked by pirates. Midna, the woman accompanying me right now,” Zelda waved in Midna’s direction, and already, Midna could tell how the guards moved a bit closer to her, acting almost like it might have been some kind of hidden signal between the two of them, “she is the one to thank for the fact that I was able to escape. She risked her own life and safety to stay behind, ensuring that I would be able to flee as well.”</p>
<p>“Oh, did she really?” Zant’s gaze landed on Midna, and despite how she had thought that she had prepared herself for that moment, she had to fight down the instinct to try to shield herself from the scrutinising look he sent her. “Well, in that case, I suppose we should welcome her as the hero she is.”</p>
<p>“Actually, that was why I wanted to talk with father.” the relief was apparent in Zelda’s voice. Midna could see how she finally dared to look up, interpreting that little sense of warmth in Zant’s voice as a sign that the danger had passed. “See, Midna was made to stay in the cell next to mine. I—had it not been for her, I doubt I would have been able to make it through all those months, much less being able to escape in the end. But during that time, I also came to learn that she lived in a tiny village. She has no home to return home to, no parents, nothing. So, I thought that to show our gratitude to her, to show what awaits those who are loyal to the crown, she should be given a room here in the castle. She did save my life. after all, so I am sure that father would agree that we owe her that much.”</p>
<p>“I see.” Zant leant back, placing his hands on the armrests of the throne. “The life of a member of the royal family… that would indeed be worth more than anything we would ever be able to offer the princess’ saviour, would you not say so, Byrne?”</p>
<p>Already before she heard Zelda let out a gasp, seeing the way she froze as a man stepped out of the shadow from next to the throne, Midna knew that they had lost. She could see the fact written across Zant’s face as he glared at them, looking exactly like a hawk who knew that its prey had nowhere to run, now simply enjoying the process of toying with it. Really, the fact that she could recognise the man at Zant’s side, knew that the last time she had seen him had been in the chaos Zelda had orchestrated to be able to make her way onto the Shadow, was only there to completely get rid of the last bit of hope that she could otherwise have clung to.</p>
<p>“Now,” Zant said, everything about him, from the way he sat to how he let his voice rise a bit, letting them know that he was aware of the fact that there was not a single person in the room who did not know what was going to happen, “it is undoubtedly a heroic deed you are describing there, my dear sister. Sadly, it would appear that it is also a lie.”</p>
<p>“I—I don’t know what you mean,” Zelda stuttered. As she took a tiny step backwards, towards Midna, Zant smiled down at her, acting almost like he was the reason for why the temperature dropped a few degrees around them.</p>
<p>“I think you know exactly what I am talking about. After all, Byrne was quick to assure both father and I that we did not have anything to worry about, that you would be just fine on your own. Now, Zelda, can you imagine why he might have told us that?”</p>
<p>“No.” Zelda’s voice was thin, almost disappearing in the large room. “No, I cannot.”</p>
<p>“Well, then let me try to help you remember what happened back then, how it just so happened that your captain returned home to the castle with the message that the princess had been taken from her room during a battle with pirates. Byrne came back here, hurrying to find my father, insisting that it was urgent, of utmost importance that he would get to speak with him immediately. I won’t lie—at first father was ready to have him arrested on the spot for disrupting the discussion of what we should do to get you back. You see, during the first few hours after we got the message from your loyal captain about what had happened, you did actually somehow manage to fool us both. We were foolish enough to believe that, with all the soldiers we had sent with you, some pirate would still have been able to sneak into your cabin and drag you back onto their ship against your will and without the soldiers being able to stop it in time. But we soon learnt that that was not at all the case, that, really, you and the captain had conspired, planning to create a situation where the chaos of the fight would allow for you to slip away from the soldiers tasked with protecting you, leaving the battle with those who should have been your enemies. For that is how it went, is it not? They should have been your enemies, you should have known that you have to fight against their influence, and, yet, you allowed them to fill your mind with lies, letting them convince you to take part in their plan to seize control of Hyrule and overthrow the monarchy.”</p>
<p>A deadly silence filled the room when Zant stopped speaking. Midna would not have been surprised if everyone around her was able to hear how her heart beat madly against her ribs, everything in her screaming at her, urging her to step forwards and accept all guilt, lie and say that she had indeed been the one to manipulate the princess. But she remained where she was, unable to do more than to look at the back of Zelda’s head, hoping that if she just stared at her with enough intensity, Zelda would be able to read her mind and know that Midna was begging her to blame her.</p>
<p>But of course, Zelda would never do that, and although her fear was obvious as she found the ability to speak again, Midna could hear that Zelda was not about to admit defeat and try to save herself. “Byrne must have lied.” Zelda was able to muster up a minimum of conviction, almost enough to make the hope come alive again. “He must have, for I assure you that it was not what happened. While it is true that I might have been able to do more to avoid being captured, you have to understand that I feared for my life as well as the lives of everyone aboard the ship when the pirates attacked. There was nothing I could have done to avoid being caught.”</p>
<p>There was a dangerous gleam in Zant’s eyes as he looked down at them, revelling in the power that came with his position from the throne. “Really? That is quite the interesting claim, Zelda, considering the fact that your own captain was quick to confirm that everything Byrne told us was true.”</p>
<p>“Ashei?” and with that single word, the shock and fear making her voice sound nothing like it was supposed to be, Zelda had just confirmed all of Zant’s suspicions. “No, she would never—she—”</p>
<p>“Don’t despair. The captain tried her best to keep your secret safe, but in the end, she was forced to admit that, sometimes, it is more important to save yourself than it is to continue to lie to your king, especially when said king is still upset after receiving the news of how his own daughter was willing to give herself up, to join the pirates who have been responsible for so many of the disasters that have struck us lately. Do I need to remind you of how they burnt Kakariko Village to the ground only a few days ago? I understand that they may have tried to keep you from finding out about it, but, clearly, they were not careful enough when they returned to remove any witnesses, for we were able to find a survivor who was able to tell us all about how they had set the village on fire, forcing everyone to stay in there to perish in the flames.”</p>
<p>Midna bit down on her tongue so hard that she could taste blood. As Zant’s gaze flickered away from Zelda, instead coming to rest on her, she knew that it was a trap, a way for him to try to ensure that he would have some twisted version of a piece of evidence to use against her.</p>
<p>When he did not get the intended reaction from her, the smile on Zant’s face faltered for a second, but only for that short moment. The next instant, the hate in his eyes had once more been covered up with the feigned horror as he continued. “Or, even if they were somehow able to lie to you about that, I know that you must remember what happened to Ordon Village all those years ago. You and I, we both saw the ruins the pirates left behind; we both saw how everyone had disappeared. Maybe you even met the few they were able to kidnap back on the ship, maybe they had been forced to tell you that they were there because they wanted to, but I can assure you that that was not the case.” Zant pushed himself off the throne, every small movement looking like it had been carefully choreographed and rehearsed as he made his way over to Zelda. “No matter what happens, you are still my sister. Your captain was blind; she followed your orders even when everyone should have seen that you were not fit to give such orders, and she will have to pay for that. But you—it is not too late for you yet. Just admit that you made a mistake, then everything will go back to the way it was before. Father has already spent months trying to smoothen out the situation with the royal family of Labrynna. They understand that what happened to you was a tragedy. All you have to do is to admit that you were blinded by the lies they told you, unable to think for yourself due to the stressful situation you found yourself in. That is all you have to say, then I promise you that everything will be just as it was before.” as he talked, Zant reached out, placing a hand on Zelda’s shoulder.</p>
<p>For a moment, it looked almost like Zelda was trying to shake his hand away, but then Midna could see how she was crying, the sobs forcing their way up her throat, making her entire body shake. And yet, she remained quiet, the way Zant drew his eyebrows together revealing how he was losing patience.</p>
<p>Tearing his hand away from Zelda, he sent her a glare that looked so cold that Midna could almost not understand how Zelda was still fully human, why she had not become ice as Zant spoke once more. “Zelda, think. I beg you to think about what choice you will make. You know that I am right, you know that I would not lie. Think about Ordon, think about those from that village you no doubt met aboard the ship. If nothing else, the fact that they are still there, suffering, should be enough to make you abandon this silly idea of the pirates perhaps being just as human as you and me. You know that is not the case, you saw it in the ruins of Ordon and the destruction they leave behind wherever they go.”</p>
<p>“Liar!” in the almost total silence of the room, Zelda’s scream felt much louder than it had really been. As she turned around, just enough to look directly up at her brother, the anger that drew long lines across Zelda’s face seemed warm enough to perhaps be able to melt the ice around her. “It is a lie, I know it is! Everything you have ever told me, all you have told me about the pirates, about how they are only trying to disrupt the peace, trying to kill as many as they can, it is all lies, I know it is! There was no peace for them to disrupt in the first place, father made sure of that and so did you, and as for murdering people, you and I both know that the only murderers in this room are you and the soldiers who are following you without regard for the suffering they cause even now!” she took a deep breath. Midna did not even have to look at Zant to know that Zelda was already bracing herself for the consequences that would no doubt come soon enough.</p>
<p>At first, Zant did not speak, instead simply looking down at Zelda. There was a hint of something in his eyes, an emotion somewhere between disappointment and pride, that shone so brightly that even from where she was standing, the guards at both sides of her keeping her from advancing, Midna could still see it as Zant finally opened his mouth. “I see. If that is really what you think, I am afraid that you leave me with no choice but to tell father about how you tried to sneak a pirate into the castle with the explicit goal of murdering both him and me so that the throne would be left to you.” as the horror finally made it past the carefully crafted mask Zelda had been able to wear without even the tiniest fail for several days now, Zant simply let out a sarcastic laugh. “Don’t tell me you really thought that it would ever work. I thought that you would be wiser than to assume that I would just let you drag some pirate into this house, to believe that I would fall for such an obvious lie.”</p>
<p>“I—no! Midna isn’t a pirate!” but Zelda revealed the truth the second she turned to look back over at Midna, the panic evident in her eyes. “I swear she isn’t! Please, just let me—”</p>
<p>“I think you have done enough already,” Zant responded, making some kind of signal to the guards as they instantly moved, forming a circle around Midna, “in fact, I believe that I have already heard enough to determine that she is the one to blame for the fact that you disappeared, returning with all these lies blinding you to the truth. Guards!”</p>
<p>As Onox moved over, grabbing her arm, Midna knew better than to try to fight. It was not that she was giving up—she could not do that, not as Zelda was screaming, struggling against the guard who had come over to hold her back—not at all. Rather, it was the sinking feeling that she would not be able to escape the grip Onox had on her, his hand sure to leave marks on her arm as he began to drag her forwards, soon helped by another guard coming to grab her other arm, making it so that she would not have been able to step even a single centimetre away from Onox without the two of them allowing her to.</p>
<p>“Stop!” Zelda screamed, alternatively glaring at the guard keeping her from running over to Midna and looking back over at her brother. “Zant, she didn’t—I swear, Midna is not here to harm anyone! I am begging you, don’t let anything happen to her!”</p>
<p>Sending Midna a long gaze, Zant finally turned towards his sister. “I think that you will find that, as long as she cooperates, your friend really has no reason to fear for her future. After all, unlike the pirates, our father knows that loyalty can be found through mercy. But if you really want to see what happens if you simply tell the king about the mistakes you have made, I suppose I can allow you to accompany us to the dungeons, as long as you can please remain quiet. This screaming is giving me a headache. Do you think you can promise me to do that?” there was a moment where Midna was almost certain that Zelda was going to refuse, the fire burning brighter inside of her than Midna had ever seen it do before, but then, almost like her strength left her from one moment to the next, Zelda stopped fighting, stopped struggling against the guard, instead bowing her head. Zant’s smile widened. “Good. I knew that, despite what father said, you had not completely lost your sense of self-preservation. Maybe if your friend reveals herself to be able to do the same, the two of you will be able to meet each other again under different circumstances very soon. But for now, I fear that we cannot allow this would-be assassin to roam freely, so, guards, I trust you to make sure that she will not get a chance to escape as we make our way to the dungeons.”</p>
<p>They began to walk, or, rather, Midna tried her best to walk, although the fact that Onox was easily able to almost, but not quite, lift her from the floor, left her with no other choice than to let them halfway carry her, halfway drag her along as Zant led them towards a set of solid doors to the side of the throne room, ten guards separating Midna from him and Zelda.</p>
<p>Zelda. As Midna tried her best to keep up, not wanting to be outright carried along, she could see how the guard tightened his grip around Zelda’s wrist the one time she tried to look back towards her. If there were any goddesses somewhere, anyone at all who would bother to listen to her plea, Midna wished for them to let Zelda know that it was not her fault, that the last thing Midna wanted to happen right then was for her to risk her own safety only to get the chance to catch another glimpse of her. It was not worth it. They had lost—the best they could hope for now was that Midna might be able to take the secret of just where the base was located with her to the grave. But almost like the goddesses wanted to mock her plea, Zelda did not stop trying to look back over her shoulder, the guard tightening his grip just a little bit every time until it reached a point where Midna had to force herself not to look at how his knuckles became white. It was bad enough that she was left to try to think of a way where a miraculous escape would reveal itself to her, she did not also want to think about the fact that Zelda was now back in the exact position she had fought so hard to flee from, back at the castle with nothing to do except for waiting for when the inevitable would happen and she would be sent to Labrynna again.</p>
<p>Midna stumbled down the stairs, only held up by the two guards not loosening their grip even a little. Already before she looked up, her heart having skipped a beat when she thought she felt the stairs disappear below her, she knew that they had reached the dungeons. It was something about the air, the smell of misery that made the rows of cells that looked almost like the doors would never be opened again as Zant turned around in front of them, a single wave in the direction of the guards being enough to make everyone stop.</p>
<p>“Zelda, I suppose I should have warned you about whom you would find down here, but, well, what can I say?” Zant shrugged. “Sometimes, the best way to teach people things is by showing them exactly what they do not want to see.” the moment he stepped to the side, allowing then to look into the cell he had just stood in front of, the two guards flanking him making sure that they had not been able to catch even the most fleeting glimpse of the prisoner inside, Midna already know just who the person inside was.</p>
<p>For although she might not exactly have recognised the woman now that she was sitting on the ground, her tousled hair being completely unlike the way she had made sure to tie it up the last time Midna had seen her, the pain on her face nothing like the determined expression she had worn while wielding the sword like she had been born to carry it, the way Zelda let out a gasp, horror evident in her voice as she almost collapsed, the guard barely having time to catch her in time before she would have landed on the floor, was sure to let her know just who the prisoner was.</p>
<p>“Ashei…?” Zelda whispered the name, looking at the woman almost like she was expecting for it to not be the case. Given how the prisoner, gaunt and with a sort of fragility to her that Midna could not recognise, did not look anything like the courageous captain Zelda had described, Midna could not blame her for that. And then, with her eyes becoming dark with barely concealed rage, Zelda turned to face her brother. “You…” her voice shook, but even then, they were all able to understand what she said, how she took a step forwards, moving so quickly that the guard was not able to stop her before she had pointed towards her brother, looking like there was nothing she would have loved more right then than to be able to hit him, to attack him until he would let them all go, “you said that she was all right, you promised me that you had not harmed her!”</p>
<p>Zant only laughed at her anger. “What do you mean? I don’t recall having ever promised you that she was all right. The word I used was ‘mercy’, and would you not call the fact that she is still alive merciful?”</p>
<p>“You—”</p>
<p>“No, no,” Zant held up his hand, “I think you are not able to realise what is really going on around you right now, not in the state you are in. Perhaps, after getting the chance to get a proper night of sleep, after seeing how blind you have been, you will thank me. Onox, will you please show our guest to her room?”</p>
<p>Onox simply nodded at him, already forcing Midna along with him, moving past the rows of guards as he made his way over to the cell on the opposite side of the hallway from where Ashei was lying on the ground.</p>
<p>She could hear Zelda call her name, begging for forgiveness, but as she watched Onox fiddle with the lock, struggling for a moment to force the door open while not letting go of her, Midna could not find the power to respond. She would just have to hope that Zelda would be able to know that she did not have anything to apologise for.</p>
<p>Midna had thought that she was prepared to feel the floor disappear beneath her, but as Onox shoved her into the cell, the sudden lack of support coupled with the amount of force he put into the push was still enough to send her flying forwards. She was barely able to keep herself from fully hitting the ground, scraping her hands as she landed on the stone floor. Behind her, Zelda continued to cry, but although she wanted to stand up, to turn around and assure her that she would be all right, right then, simply continuing to breathe required her full attention.</p>
<p>“I fear that my sister has been through more than she can handle for today.” she might not have been able to look at Zant, but Midna could still hear the way he looked down at Zelda, the satisfaction evident in his eyes as he spoke, raising his voice a little to make sure that he would be heard above the sound of Zelda crying. “If someone would please escort her to her quarters immediately. Lieutenant Raven, I am counting on you to make sure that she will not be able to do anything rash that she might come to regret later.”</p>
<p>Pressing her head to the ground, hoping that the coldness that seeped up from below her might be able to soothe her aching body, Midna felt how the pain that shot up through her arms was already telling her that her entire system was trying to protest against the harsh treatment they had already put her through, making it so that, although the name of the person who would take Zelda away should by all means have been important information right then, something she would need to know once she would try to escape, Midna could not focus enough to listen to his answer. What did it even matter? As another guard stepped up to close the door to her cell, the sound of metallic screeching telling her that it was locked in a way that would not give in to a few, well-placed kicks, Midna knew that this was not a situation she would be able to escape from anytime soon. Really, if the state of the captain in the cell across the hallway was not any indication of just that, Ashei’s total lack of an reaction to the conversation taking place right next to her seeming like it almost took up all the space in the room, Midna did not know what was.</p>
<p>The guard—Raven, something, a title she could not remember—must have begun to drag Zelda away, for as Zant’s voice once more echoed through the room, harsh and cold, it came from another direction than before. “I assume that I do not need to remind you not to give her the chance to try to tell you any lies. If she does, please, try to humour her—she does not know what she is saying. Really, in hindsight, I should have known better than to allow myself to be lost in the joy of having my little sister back here with me. I am sure that father would have told me that if he had been there, but, what can I say? Sometimes, the relief of getting back those you thought you had lost forever—it makes you irrational. Lieutenant Raven, I expect that you have learnt from my mistakes. Do not let her try to convince you of anything.”</p>
<p>She was only able to make out the sound of general agreement before the crown prince left the room, the echo of retreating footsteps letting her know that the guards had left as well. Maybe it should have nourished what little hope there might have been hidden away somewhere in her chest, but right then, Midna did not have the strength to even try to roll around, making an attempt at figuring out a way for her to be able to escape her cell. It was hopeless. Even if she should miraculously be able to get the key to the lock from one of the guards, even if she was able to leave the dungeon, get deeper into the castle, getting herself into a position where she would be able to find Zelda would still require for her to somehow be able to recall the exact details of the map Renado and Shad had spent ages trying to make her memorise, making her way past an unknown number of guards, get Zelda, and then make it outside again. Back when the mission had consisted of her and Zelda having to figure out a way to get Midna close to the king and crown prince, having to think of a way to be able to survive the immediate fallout of the death of the king and the heir, it had seemed like they had accepted a task with difficult odds. Now, Midna did not have to think twice to know that she was facing impossible odds. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself that there was something she was missing, no matter how many times she tried to imagine a different scenario, telling herself that perhaps she might have got the one cell where there would be a loose stone in the wall, a way for her to sneak out, fact was that she was stuck there, that she would remain stuck there for as long as Ganondorf wanted her to remain there.</p>
<p>No matter what happened, Midna would never give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Although she knew that by now, it was no longer a matter of ‘if’ she would die, but rather ‘when’, she refused to let them see the fear that seized her heart, making her mind feel cloudy. If nothing else, maybe she would still be able to meet her fate with enough dignity to let the rebels think of a way to turn her into a martyr, figure out a way to come and save Zelda, and finish their mission for the two of them. It was a fragile fantasy, falling apart the moment where Midna stopped to wonder just how her friends were supposed to know that things had not gone according to plan when she and Zelda had not been able to anticipate that they might end up in a situation where it would have been good to give them a time limit, a day where, had they not returned before then, it was the sign that they had lost. The truth was that, no matter how she tried to twist the situation, they would not be saved. Ganondorf would not be stupid enough to reveal her parentage by letting her death become the subject of rumours, he would make certain that the people of Hyrule, those who might have risen up to join them had they just known about how the story of their noble king saving the neighbouring kingdom from ruin had all been a lie from the very beginning, would never be able to know about the fact that she had even been there at all. Zelda would most likely leave as soon as the king returned home from Labrynna, placed on the first ship that would take her to marry the prince, sold off to ensure that Ganondorf would not have to fear an attack from the south. Perhaps it would happen even sooner than that, at least if the way Zant had acted upon seeing them was any indication of how much power he really held.</p>
<p>The last thing she was able to do to show them that they had not won yet was to not let them see her cry, but in that moment, Midna could feel how the courage was failing her. She was not the princess, she had not been raised to be willing to sacrifice herself for her kingdom. Maybe she would have been if the past had been different, if her mother had still been there, but as it was now, she was only there because she owed all the people who had risked their lives to help her to at least try. She was there to ensure that those who came after her would not have to fight the same fight. But more than anything, she was there because she did not want to let anyone else pay for the fact that she had spent most of her life fleeing from danger like a coward. Going back here, agreeing to trust Zelda’s plan, it had all been a way for her to lie to herself, telling herself that she was more than that. However, as Midna remained there, unmoving, she knew that she had just been pretending. Deep down, she really was a coward, a coward who had let Zelda be pulled away from her rather than responding by trying to assure her that she would be all right no matter what. But, more than anything, she was a coward who was not able to keep back the tears any longer, instead crying into the fabric of her gown, not even having the strength to try to muffle her sobs.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She stayed in her tiny cell for years, her hair turning whiter as her bones became brittle. That was what it felt like to Midna as the seconds passed by, her heart stubbornly refusing to stop beating just because she begged it to finally give up, giving her the option of at least letting them all see that she refused to remain there for even a second longer. If she just passed away before they would be able to return to her, she would be able to smile as her body gave up on her, knowing that she had at least not had time to give up the location of the base. But, even as the years passed without Midna seeing even the fleeting shadow of a guard coming to bring them food, she continued to breathe, continued to <em>be</em>.</p>
<p>Risking a glance in Ashei’s direction, the thought that perhaps this was exactly what Zant had ordered them to do to her, leaving her to starve, stuck her, entered her mind, but Midna was able to send it away the moment later. As much as Zant might have made it obvious that he took great pleasure in the fact that he held the most power in the king’s absence, she doubted that he would dare to kill her before his father would return home. After all, he knew about just who she was, he had to know, considering the way he had instructed the guard not to trust anything Zelda might tell him.</p>
<p>Raven. Even as the hunger pains began to make it difficult for her to focus, Midna forced herself to repeat the name to herself over and over again, whispering so quietly that she knew that no one would be able to hear it. It was strange, how little time it took before she was almost convinced that the walls itself would be able to hear her every word, how little time it took for the paranoia to completely control her, especially considering the fact that the only other person in the room did not exactly look like she was able to respond or remember anything she might have heard.</p>
<p>And through it all, there was the sight of all the empty cells around them. The more she found herself thinking about how she could not have been the first person in the cell, the more Midna found herself clinging to the name of the guard who had taken Zelda away. It was easier to focus all of her hate on a single person, or at least it felt like that as she lay there, not even able to find the energy to push herself up from the cold floor. Even if the chance to kill both the king and prince would be given to her on a silver platter, Midna doubted she would have been able to do anything with how tired she was, but a single person—she might just be able to muster up the strength that would be necessary to make him pay for everything that had happened in these dungeons with his life.</p>
<p>The warm feeling of hate and anger did not exactly make her feel any less hungry, but still, it did help a little, making time feel less horrible. Before Midna had even got the chance to wonder why her body had yet to give up under the strain, the sound of someone walking down the stairs forced her to try to gather what little strength she had left, the soft thud of their boots against the stone floor sounding impossible loud after she had spent eternity down there in a state of almost total silence. No matter what, they would not be given the joy of seeing her lie like this on the floor.</p>
<p>Just as Midna had finally pushed herself up into a sitting position, the guard turned around the corner. Midna did not know whether to be relieved or disappointed as she looked up at him, only to realise that this guard was not someone she could recognise. Had he only been Raven, Onox, or even Byrne, then she knew that the rage would have been enough to allow her to ignore the pain, instead flinging herself at the bars that separated him from her, making sure that he knew exactly what she thought of him. It would not have achieved anything, nothing good at least. All that might really happen would be that he would try his best to repay her attempts at showing them that she had not given up yet by making what little was left of her life a little more miserable, as difficult as it was for her to imagine right then. But that was assuming that Zant was above blaming Zelda for the things Midna might do, and, although she hoped that he had meant it when he had said that Zelda was not in a state where they should try to hold her responsible for what she might say, Midna would not risk it.</p>
<p>So, really, maybe it was for the better that she did not recognise the guard. At least it meant that he did not try to tell her how there was no hope left for her, instead waiting for only a second after he had thrown a metallic plate into the room, the little chunk of bread that had been placed on it landing in the corner of the cell while the plate itself hit the wall behind Midna, missing her head by only a couple of millimetres, staring at her, almost like he was waiting for her reaction.</p>
<p>Midna was not sure how exactly she was able to do so, but, somehow, she remained still, not blinking or flinching even as she felt the plate brush over the top of her head.</p>
<p>Seemingly, her lack of a reaction was enough to convince the guard to leave again, for after having paused to repeat the process of chucking another measly meal into Ashei’s cell, he turned around and left just as quickly as he arrived.</p>
<p>It was not until she was fairly certain that he would not suddenly return, that Midna finally began to make her way over to the bread, crawling to try to save what little energy she had left. She had her dignity, she would not give it up that easily, or at least that was what she thought until she was able to reach the bread.</p>
<p>It was a tiny meal, it would have been that even if she had got it back at the base, but right then, as she brought it up to her lips and smelt the lovely aroma of bread, albeit bread that had clearly not been fresh for more days than she wanted to try to imagine, Midna was reminded of how she had not eaten a full meal since the dinner Madame Aroma had prepared for them.</p>
<p>Biting into the chunk of bread, Midna could almost not recall why she had found her voice so grating, why almost every little thing she had done had felt like it was only a mask, a way for her to impress the princess. Did her intentions even matter? Midna knew that, right then, she would have gone back to that day without hesitation if she had just got the chance. It felt like it was a lifetime ago that she had found herself sitting at that table, trying her best not to eat too quickly, forcing herself not to attract attention, but as she swallowed a mouthful, the feeling of food in her stomach allowing her to try to count back, she knew that it was really only two days ago. Two days, that was all that separated her from the feeling of almost giddy excitement, the knowledge that she would soon be at the castle with Zelda, prepared to do her part of the mission, making her struggle to truly appreciate the last day where she was able to enjoy her freedom. The more she thought about it, the clearer it was to her that, from the moment she had first set foot on the deck of the royal airship, she had already given up her freedom. No amounts of trying to look back at Zelda, trying to convince her that there was nothing to fear, that Midna would be all right, would ever have been enough to change the fact that the room she had been given had just been a slightly more comfortable cell.</p>
<p>She was so lost in her own thoughts that the first time she heard someone whisper her name, she was almost certain that she was imagining it, that the exhaustion, hunger, and—although she would never imagine it—fear had finally made her reach a point where she was so desperate for a sign that she might not have to spend her last days alone that she was making things up. But then she heard it again, someone whispering her name, clearly trying their best not to risk anyone hearing, and, at last, Midna found herself with no other possible explanations than that the voice must belong to the woman in the cell on the other side of the hallway.</p>
<p>Slowly turning around, doing her best to convince herself that it was only caused by the fact that she did not want to appear desperate and had nothing at all to do with the fact that even just the few hours she had spent in the cell had already made her body protest against any sudden movement, Midna looked over at where Ashei was lying on the floor.</p>
<p>Or rather, she sent a fleeting glance towards where Ashei should have been lying on the floor, before finding herself with no other choice than to stare at her.</p>
<p>Ashei was sitting up, having moved to lean up against the bars, leaning forwards as far as they allowed her to do, almost like she was trying to bring herself closer to Midna. But that was not what made Midna have to discreetly reach down to pinch herself, just to be sure that she was not making it all up.</p>
<p>Where she had at first found herself staring at her because she could feel Zelda’s pain, the reason for how Midna could almost not believe what she was seeing now had nothing to do with that. No, the reason she found herself unable to look away from Ashei was due to the fact that, unlike how Midna had expected to find herself looking at a woman who was only moments away from falling apart completely, looking more dead than alive, she was looking directly into the eyes of a captain, seeing the same woman who had been able to stage a situation where the princess would be able to make it onto the Shadow without being seen and without risking injuring her in the fight she would have to create to cover her escape.</p>
<p>“Midna?” Ashei looked directly at her, removing any doubts about just whom she had meant to talk to. Of course, given how they were the only two people in the dungeon, it was not exactly a puzzle to figure out that it was not a coincidence that she had just so happened to say Midna’s name, but in that moment, as Midna found herself too surprised by the fact that this woman she should not have known, the woman who should have been near death, had just looked over at her and tried to initiate a conversation to respond, it was nice to be sure that she really did mean to talk to her, even if Midna was still too shocked to reply. Thankfully, it would appear that Ashei had not interpreted the total lack of a response as a sign that Midna did not want to talk with her, for she simply sent her a little smile. “Yes, you, I am talking to you.”</p>
<p>“But—” the words felt like they were unable to move past the back of her mouth, Midna having to spit them out, “How…? How do you know—”</p>
<p>“Your name?” Ashei sent her a humourless grin. “It was not exactly a great secret that you are named Midna, not with how many times Zelda continued to call your name, begging her brother to spare your life.”</p>
<p>Hearing Zelda’s name said out loud, the sound of it becoming real, more than just her trying to cling to the way Zelda had looked so serene just two days before, the sunlight hitting her hair, felt almost like being kicked in the stomach. Despite how she had been so sure only moments before that she was stronger than this, that she would be able to remain cold, Midna still found herself falling backwards, fighting to save just a little bit of the illusion that she was in control by at least not letting go of the bread as she reached backwards to try to soften her fall. “I—” she mumbled, “yes, that is me. Midna, I mean.”</p>
<p>At least Ashei did not smile at her embarrassment, though she did regard her with a cold, almost calculating look in her eyes as she nodded. “Look, Midna,” Ashei leant forward, continuing to glance to the side, towards the direction where the guard had left, every other second, “I know who you are.”</p>
<p>Her heart should have stopped beating. This, having to listen to Ashei claim that she knew about her, it should have been able to achieve what sheer determination, pride, and stubbornness had not been able to, making the emotions overpower her heart to grant her a quick way out of the dungeon. But no. Although it felt like it was what should have happened, the truth was that Midna was still sitting there, unable to hide her initial expression of pure, unmasked horror. Zelda would have been able to deflect the accusation, Midna knew that, she would no doubts have let out a loud laugh, assuring Ashei that she must have forgot about just who she was, claimed that the days in the dungeon must have made her see what she wanted to see. But Midna was not Zelda, she did not have the same kind of optimistic way of thinking, was not able to try to make the hope that she might be able to convince Ashei that she was wrong appear for even a moment.</p>
<p>Instead, she stuttered, feeling how what little chance there might once have been of her being able to deny it all disappeared with every shaky word. “I—I—”</p>
<p>She was not sure whether to be grateful or to wait for the killing blow as Ashei interrupted her, bringing her pathetic attempt at convincing her that she was wrong to a premature end. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Ashei blinked at her, and for a second, Midna could have sworn that she could see something else in her gaze, something not unlike the way Zelda had looked at her when she had first found her in the storeroom, the look of someone who was so full of pure conviction that she was doing what was right that she had entered a state where she was blind to the consequences. Or, at least, that was the impression Midna had got when looking at Zelda. But now, as Ashei sent another stolen glance in the direction of the stairs, she could not help but think that this was different somehow, that Ashei was perfectly aware of the consequences, of the fact that she would most likely never be able to leave the dungeons again, not while she was alive, but that she had accepted it. That suspicion was only strengthened as Ashei looked back over at her. “I am with you.”</p>
<p>“Do you mean…?”</p>
<p>Ashei nodded. “Yes. The rebels are closer to the royal family than what I think they are aware of, or at least I hope so. But, given how these cells would all be in use if the king ever became aware of just how many of us have been placed within the castle, I have to believe that they are still safe.”</p>
<p>“Who? Who are they?”</p>
<p>Ashei only sent her an apologetic look, drawing her brows together, looking almost like she was truly sorry for having to keep that piece of information from her. “I am sorry, but you have to understand that they are only safe as long as we make sure that capturing one of us does not mean getting to know the identity of everyone who has been brave enough to risk their life for the cause. Besides, with how they are already aware of your connection to the rebels but only think that I went against direct orders from the king by allowing his daughter to flee from the ship, it is vital that I do not tell you, not when they will no doubt try to get you to tell the identity of your fellow conspirators.”</p>
<p>“No, I understand,” Midna mumbled.</p>
<p>And she really did. It was the sad truth, but the truth nonetheless. Neither of them would be able to leave their cell again, their lives most likely able to be counted in days, weeks if they were unlucky. Now, it was all about trying to keep themselves from giving in to the temptation of trying to lessen the pain by destroying the very foundation that the rebellion might later come to rest on. But, as Midna was about to nod, there was something about Ashei’s words that made her pause, mentally repeating them to herself. Although she wanted to say that she trusted Ashei, that she was able to believe that her fellow prisoner was someone she could trust without hesitation given how she was the only one she had in that moment, Midna would not have been able to say that she did not feel the suspicion make her pull back, away from the bars, almost like Ashei might have responded to her next question by attempting to attack her.</p>
<p>Still, it was there, hanging in the air between them the moment after Midna opened her mouth. “But… how did you know that?” not wanting to leave even the slightest chance for Ashei to be able to feign ignorance, Midna immediately continued. “How did you know that I have connections to rebels? For all you know, I could very well just have been an assassin or a pirate who was able to convince the princess to sneak me into the castle.”</p>
<p>The way Ashei looked at her sent a shiver down Midna’s back, the expression on her face telling her exactly how she had advanced to claim the title of captain, why she had seemingly been the person in charge of planning the defence for the ship that would be trusted with getting the princess to Labrynna. “Midna, I know who you are.”</p>
<p>It was so incredibly dumb, nothing more than a way for her to be able to let off steam for a moment, only for her words to come back to haunt her the next moment. Midna knew all of that the moment she opened her mouth and felt the words spill from her lips, and still, she could not stop herself. “And who is that if I may ask?”</p>
<p>The answer came immediately, without any signs of Ashei having to gather up the courage, immediately making any hope that it was just a lucky guess disappear, instead letting it be replaced with the knowledge that, not only did Ashei know, she had clearly uttered those words before. “The true princess of the Twilight Realm.” as Midna remained quiet, for once not having to fight to keep herself from saying anything that might have made the situation worse, having been rendered speechless the moment she had received evidence that Ashei knew, the captain continued. “I know that you are the one who should be sitting on the Twili throne. I know that the story of how the queen was murdered during a coup d’état is just that—a story, something you tell children to make them believe you. And, until I made the wrong decision about whom to trust, I was part of the Resistance, a group of rebels who were all trying to figure out a way to bring about the end of Ganondorf’s reign. But now, I am here, having resigned myself to having to either risk the rest of the Resistance by agreeing to let them smuggle me out of here or die. That is, that was how it was until today.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>There was a brightness in Ashei’s eyes that made her look so alive that, for a moment, Midna was almost able to ignore the fact that she was pale and much too thin. Right then, as she looked over at her, so much determination present in her gaze that Midna finally received an answer to the question of just where Zelda had learnt to look at people like she could gaze directly into their soul, Ashei was able to say the words with so much conviction that it sounded almost like it should have been obvious how they would be the answer. “You are here. The princess is here, and although I know that Ganondorf no doubt meant the princess of Hyrule when he made me swear to be willing to give my life for the princess, I know in my heart that I made a promise not just to the kingdom of Hyrule that day, but to justice as well.”</p>
<p>Midna had to bite back a groan. This was just like talking with Zelda, except for the fact that Ashei somehow managed to seem even more idealistic, even more like she might actually be able to change the world through the sheer force of her belief in the fact that she was doing what was right. “And what does that mean exactly?” she had not meant to sound so angry, but as she talked, Midna could not hide the edge of something sharp in her voice, could not pretend that she was not angry, bitter even, the emotions aimed at everyone who had made it so that she was now sitting here, unable to do anything other than to wait, knowing that Zelda needed her, that, if Midna did not think of anything to do very soon, she would not be able to act before it would be too late, Zelda already having moved out of her reach, on an airship on its way to Labrynna. “I am sorry, but what are you thinking that we can do? What is your secret plan? Do you know of a way for me to leave this cell?”</p>
<p>And just like that, the hope was extinguished, Ashei letting out a long sigh that sounded almost like it was about more than the fact that Midna had just reminded her that, as it was now, it was nothing but an attempt at lying to themselves if they tried to pretend that they were in control.</p>
<p>“No, I do not have a way to get you out of here,” Ashei finally said, sounding like the last few seconds had aged her several years. “If you were anyone but the person you are, if you were not the princess, then I know that we would be able to sneak you out—it is not like they really care all that much about the prisoners down here, not enough to really question it when their ships crashes—but you… I know that we would not be able to help you escape. I am sorry.”</p>
<p>She wanted to be angry. Wanted it so badly that it felt like it was going to make her find the strength to bend the metal bars on her own, creating the escapeway that Ashei could not grant her.</p>
<p>But as she looked over at Ashei, saw the way she meant each and every word, how there was no part of what she had said that had been anything less than the full truth, Midna was not able to stay angry, even as the horrible feeling of despair crept in, taking up the space the anger had possessed moments before. “No, I understand. I understand completely. I was just—forget it.” as much as she tried not to think about it, tried her best to shake her head, forcing it to disappear, the image of Rusl, the way he had looked at her the moment before he had been taken away from her for good, kept pressing against her defences, forcing her to recognise the fact that the feeling of how she would not be able to move on without hearing that there was even the slightest chance of escape was not as much about her after all. “I was just thinking about someone I knew.” she had wanted to let it stay at that, not giving Ashei the chance to see the weakness that missing someone would be in here, but Midna could not stop herself, the words already bubbling to the surface a moment later as she continued. “Ashei? If I—say, if I knew someone who had been caught by the guards, possibly taken back here… is there even the slightest chance that you might have freed him? Could he still be alive?”</p>
<p>If Zelda had been there, she would have assured her the next moment that of course that was what had happened, barely pausing to even consider the option of that not having been the case. After all, she was the one who had been so insistent that Ashei would free Rusl. But where Zelda’s sense of idealism seemed to have been fuelled by pure, blind optimism, driving her forwards, Ashei simply sent Midna a long glare, almost like she did not want to confirm or deny the idea. Now was the moment where she would finally get to know if Zelda had been right back then, if Midna had been the one to decide too quickly what would have happened to Rusl the moment he left their ship, all chances of them being able to save him disappearing.</p>
<p>“That depends.” Ashei spoke slowly, looking almost like she was scared of what Midna’s reaction would be. But where Midna would have been able to understand it if it had been the same kind of fear that had briefly made its way into Zelda’s eyes when Midna had lashed out, here, it seemed more like Ashei was worrying about whether or not Midna would continue to talk with her if she gave her the wrong answer. “Maybe. If he was not someone whom the king deemed important enough to send a guard with, if he tried to have him transferred to another prison, then, yes, we might have freed him. But, unless you give me a name, I am afraid that I will not be able to give you an actual answer.”</p>
<p>“Rusl.” it was not a good idea to give his name up that easily, not when she had yet to figure out how Ashei had been able to stay alive for this long, what kind of agreement she had made to get them to let her live, but Midna wasn’t able not to achieve certainness. “His name is Rusl.” is, she had to believe that.</p>
<p>“Rusl.” Ashei repeated the name, her gaze becoming distant for a moment. “Yes, if we are talking about the tall man who was captured while he was trying to attack a ship, then, yes, we did manage to get him out of here. Just a little week ago, he was supposed to be taken to another prison in Lurelin Village, but, what can I say?” there was a smirk that seemed to have been designed specifically to make sure that no one would have any doubts about what Ashei was capable of if she just had the reasons to do so. “Since the king had already given up on trying to get any information out of him, he did not care too much about the fact that the ship disappeared on the way to Lurelin, not when he had already decided that the prisoner would have to die.”</p>
<p>The relief was split down the middle, halfway caused by the fact that, despite everything else, despite all that was still absolutely horrible in the world, at least Rusl was still there, halfway due to how he had not said anything. Rusl had done exactly what Midna would have to do now; he had been strong, refusing to tell them even a little about where the base was located. She was not sure how much it had taken for him to be able to do that, but Midna could not imagine that it had been easy. And now he had given her another reason to not let all of his work be wasted by giving in herself.</p>
<p>“Where…?” Midna crawled closer to the bars, trying her best to stick her face out as much as she could, making it so that Ashei would not have to tell her the answer so loudly that they might risk the guard hearing. “Where is he now?”</p>
<p>But Ashei shook her head. “I am sorry, but given… well, who you are, the king is not going to give up as easily when it comes to getting information from you.”</p>
<p>The meaning was obvious. Already by letting Midna know that Rusl was alive, letting her know that Ashei was not as trapped as the king thought she was, Ashei was risking everything. If she also told her where they took the prisoners they had been able to sneak away from Ganondorf’s watchful gaze, it could potentially bring the entirety of the Resistance to fall.</p>
<p>It was logical, it made sense, and yet, Midna knew that she must have looked like she had been hit across the face with the pain that was present in Ashei’s eyes as she continued. “I am sorry, but you have to understand that the only way to keep them safe is to ensure that we will not give up the secrets of the Resistance.”</p>
<p>“No, I understand.” at least that much was true. Midna did understand the logic behind the decision not to tell her. She was able to rationally look at Ashei and tell herself that, had it only been safe, she would already know exactly where Rusl was, that the only reason she now had to simply trust Ashei’s word was that she would not be allowed to simply rot away in this cell the way Ashei seemed to have done. It was logical, rational, and had it been about any other thing, Midna was sure that she would even have been able to defend the choice to herself. But now, no matter how many times she tried to convince herself that, as long as Rusl might one day be able to return back to the base, letting Link, Ilia, Renado, Shad—everyone really—know that all was not lost yet, she would be satisfied, Midna could still feel the ache in her chest, how she wanted to know just where he was.</p>
<p>But she didn’t ask. It would not have been right to put the burden of remaining rational onto Ashei’s shoulders, not when Ashei had been there for far longer than her and should by all means have been even more exhausted than she was. So instead Midna turned away from the bars, lying back down on the floor with her piece of bread. If nothing else, at least the conversation had made her lose her appetite, her stomach no longer screaming for food. She tried her best to focus on that and nothing else, waiting until the wonderful moment where she finally slipped back into a dreamless sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And in a matter of moments, the lie that was vital for the plan to work was revealed to be nothing but a lie, leaving both Midna and Zelda trapped within Hyrule Castle.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was a routine to the way the guards would come in with their meals.</p>
<p>It was more than what Midna had dared to hope for, the fact that they had seemingly not realised just how desperate not being able to predict when they would enter the dungeon would make them, so over the course of the next couple of days, she tried her best to cling onto the fact that it made her able to more efficiently tell the time. Three times a day, Midna having been careful to count the seconds on the second day, having had nothing better to do, a guard would throw them the same measly meal consisting of only a single piece of bread. It was as close to nothing as it could come, clearly only meant to keep them alive and nothing more than that, but as the days passed, Midna came to appreciate what those meals represented, showing her the passage of time. If the guards had been smart enough to realise that they might be able to break them completely by not making it obvious that they came back at the same time each day, Midna was sure that she would have lost the last bit of hope already, but now, each time she moved over to pick up the chunk of bread, she was able to tell herself that she had made it through another five hours.</p>
<p>The guards were rotating. That was yet another sign that they had not decided to let them simply waste away in their cells. It had taken a couple of days for Midna to figure it out, having at first been unable to tell the guards from each other, but already by noon the second day, she had been able to ask Ashei, receiving confirmation that the guards did indeed come back at regular intervals. However, that meant that Raven continued to come back as well.</p>
<p>She wanted to hate him, Midna really did. He had dragged Zelda away, he had obeyed when Zant had told him to get her out of the dungeon, taking her back to her room, he had done it all without protests. But he was also the only guard who did not appear to find great joy in throwing the piece of bread as far away from Midna as possible, instead seeming to almost take great care to actually hand her the metallic plate, careful to tilt it to get it through the metal bars without letting the bread fall off. Once, Midna even thought she had heard him turn to Ashei, whisperingly asking her if she was all right, but given how the shadows had also begun to move around her, reaching out towards her with long, thin arms, at that point, Midna was not sure that it had not been a dream.</p>
<p>Still, somehow, the fact that he was kinder only made her even more determined to hate him. This was not how it was supposed to be; she was supposed to have been brought out of the dungeon a long time ago, that was what she had thought would happen. Zant had to know that she was not just a pirate, that she had come there specifically to kill him. He would not leave her to die, not yet, not without making sure that he got all the information he could possibly get from her, at least. And yet, time continued to pass, one day bleeding into the next one, without Midna ever being dragged out of her cell, brought to the king so that they could try to get information about the rebellion from her. By what Midna was almost entirely certain was Friday, five days after she had first been pushed into the cell, she knew that, no matter how much time it might have taken for Zant to send a message to his father to let him know that the princesses had returned, Ganondorf should have been back at the castle already.</p>
<p>That was when it happened.</p>
<p>At first, the only sign that something was different, that the sound of footsteps on the stairs was more than just a sign that they would soon get their meal, was that it made too much noise. The guards were not exactly discreet, but even then, Midna could not imagine that a single person would ever be able to produce that much noise. A mere minute later, it turned out that she had been right, as what looked like it had to be a group of at least ten guards entered the room, spreading out to make it so that Midna was not able to look over at Ashei, searching for strength in the knowledge that at least she was not alone.</p>
<p>“Come.” already before he stepped forward, Midna recognised Byrne’s voice, the way he had smiled when telling Zelda about the reason for why their plan had failed being all too clear in her memory.</p>
<p>The smart thing to do would have been to try not to anger him, but in that moment, as she could see the way Zelda had panicked, their plan falling away in that moment, Midna was not able to keep herself from saying the words she knew would only make everything worse. “How? The door is locked.”</p>
<p>A scattered laugh coming from the row of guards behind him made Byrne turn around, looking at the people who had laughed. Even from where she was sitting, unable to see more than the back of his head, Midna would easily imagine the murderous expression on his face.</p>
<p>When he turned back around to face her the next moment, that suspicion was confirmed, Byrne’s face a mask of pure anger. “You think that you have won, but just you wait. Very soon, you are going to realise that the only way to survive here is to seize the power for yourself. And, luckily, Ganondorf rewards those who are able to serve him. So if you think that I am going to leave you here just because I want to let you waste away in the darkness, you will find that I am more loyal to my orders than to your lack of respect for authority.”</p>
<p>Midna remained silent, but even then, she wanted to show him that it was not due to her being afraid, that the only reason she did not respond as Byrne sent another glare in the direction of the guard standing next to him before walking over to unlock the door was because she was busy trying to dissect his answer. In here, it would appear that kind of information was precious, or at least that was what the fact that Ashei was still alive would seem to imply, and so, Midna did not bother to distract herself by trying to think of a response. Ganondorf had ordered Byrne to come down here to get her. That much was obvious. But why? Was it that they had tried their best to break her, trying to make it so that she would be desperate enough to tell them everything they needed to know? If so, Midna would be glad to show them how wrong they had been, already looking forwards to the moment when she would reveal that she was never going to betray her friends. But there was something about that explanation that did not quite make sense, something that was missing, and no matter how much she tried to figure out what it could be, Midna found herself at a loss for answers.</p>
<p>In the end, it would appear that the only way to find out the truth was to go with Byrne, so, even though it felt a little too much like getting up to jump from the Shadow without a harness, Midna walked along willingly the moment the door to the cell was pushed open, swinging open to connect with the wall with a loud crash. That was, she tried to, for even as she did her best to show that she was still able to walk up stairs, it was not enough to keep one of the guards, someone she could not recognise, from almost carrying her.</p>
<p>Unlike the last time that had happened, Midna knew better than to try to fight it. Really, if she looked at it from the right angle, they were doing her a favour, making it so that she did not have to use as much energy as it would otherwise have required for her to be able to move. That was what she tried to tell herself to take away the satisfaction her embarrassment would surely have been for the guards as she was carried through the long corridors.</p>
<p>It did not take long until she found herself in front of a familiar set of double doors. The throne room. It was not what she had expected. Really, no matter how much Midna tried to imagine what might be their reasons for having brought her there, what Ganondorf might have thought—for she was already able to say that this was not something Zant would have done, not when he had seemed so determined to have her removed from the room the last time she had been there—she could not figure out the answer.</p>
<p>She did not get much time to try to come to terms with the fact that she was once more unable to predict what would happen next, as Byrne walked up, sending her a cold smile as he pushed open the doors.</p>
<p>Ganondorf was in there. He was not sitting on the throne, instead pacing around the room, with his hands behind his back, looking almost like he had not been waiting for them, though the way he immediately looked over at them the moment the guard carried Midna into the room made sure to remove any doubts about why he was there.</p>
<p>It was strange to find herself so close to the man who had cost her everything that, if she had simply tried, Midna would surely have been able to escape the guard’s hold, allowing her to sprint over and hit him, kick him, yell at him, beg him for a reason for what had happened, trying to get an explanation. She would be caught a moment later, Midna knew that, but that did not change the fact that she was standing here, in the same room as the man who had taken everything from her, able to look directly over at him.</p>
<p>In her mind, he had grown to become a giant, looming over the horizon, someone who was an idea more than he was another person. Midna had not realised that before that very moment, but now, as she was able to look over at him and see how she was really a couple of centimetres taller than him, she could feel how the world began to change around her, her entire worldview struggling to make sense of the fact that he was responsible for everything, that, despite everything he had done, he really was nothing more than a person. All this time, his name had been connected to an idea, the way the Hyrulean airships looked against a cold sky, the sight of destroyed villages, but here Midna was, looking over at him and coming to the conclusion that he looked almost a little too anonymous. Had it not been for the fact that she knew better than to think that he was a person who had just so happened to make his way into the throne room, Midna might almost not have been able to tell who he was, for he truly looked like someone who was able to disappear in a crowd.</p>
<p>Ganondorf sent her a smile, a grin that looked almost fatherly, the sheer shock of seeing that he was capable of doing something like that making Midna’s stomach turn, making her not catch what he said, only seeing how he frowned, sending a glance in the direction of the guard who still held her, saying something.</p>
<p>He must have ordered them to let her stand on her own, for the next moment, Midna found herself with solid ground beneath her feet once more. She had to take a couple of steps to the side, using all her strength to keep herself from falling over as she found herself standing up for what felt like the  first time in ages.</p>
<p>And then Ganondorf moved, a look of almost fatherly concern making its way onto his face as he waved at the guards around her. “Leave us.”</p>
<p>“But—” Byrne opened his mouth, already moving closer towards Midna, acting almost like he was honestly expecting for her to become a threat as she stood there, completely surrounded and with her head spinning with thoughts, trying her best not to fall over as the world continued to tilt dangerously around her.</p>
<p>Ganondorf did not even give him the chance to finish the sentence. There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he looked over at Byrne, just enough to once more remind Midna of how she might be in even greater danger now than she had ever been before. “Byrne, I told you to leave. Don’t you think that I am able to decide for myself when I am in a situation where I might have to call for you to come help me? Do you doubt my ability to rule?”</p>
<p>“No!” Byrne took a step backwards, moving away from Midna like even being within a metre of her was enough to burn him. “No, of course not, I was merely—”</p>
<p>“You were trying to protect your king, a noble goal, but also something I will not need right now. Midna and I have things we need to discuss, subjects that will need to remain private. So, please, I ask all of you to, for just a moment, put aside your dedication to ensuring my survival. Although a noble thought, it is not needed, not now.”</p>
<p>Midna could see how the guards around her tried their best to decide what to do, attempting to not make it obvious how they were gauging whether or not it would be wisest to obey the order to leave, should Midna turn out to have somehow managed to hide the fact that she was still very much able to fight back, or if they should stay. At last, with the guard who had held her brushing against her hand as he left, they turned around and left, leaving Midna and Ganondorf alone in the throne room.</p>
<p>The moment he redirected his attention towards her, Midna knew that, even though the guards would only have been there to protect the king should she be foolish enough to think herself capable of bringing an end to his reign right then and there, killing him in front of his guards, she would have preferred to have them stay there. At least she knew what to expect from them, that, despite the sharp edge of their spears and the gun hanging by their hips, she knew both the intent of them and the ways their weapons could harm her. Here, standing in front of the king as he let out a sigh, making him sound almost like he was just an old man who was tired of fighting, Midna had no idea about what to expect, how she should prepare herself for what would happen next.</p>
<p>She had not yet found a tactic that would be enough to allow her to relax for even a moment when Ganondorf looked back up at her. A smile tucked at his lips as he tilted his head to the side, sending her a look of someone who did not even have to listen to her to know everything she might ever try to say to escape from the castle.</p>
<p>Finally, just as Midna found her courage failing her, feeling how she would not be able to feign nonchalance for much longer, he spoke. “I hope that my guards have treated you well. It would be quite the problem should I find out that that is not the case.”</p>
<p>Of all the things she had thought she would hear, all the threats she had expected to be forced to try to deflect, the attempts at getting her to tell about the location of the rebel base, this was not among the scenarios she had made up.</p>
<p>Stuttering, Midna tried her best to try to recall anything that had existed before that very moment, something that should have been easy, but was anything but that as she stood there, trying her best not to let Ganondorf see how he had managed to render her speechless after only a few minutes, using only a couple of words to achieve that effect. “I—I would not say that they have been kind, no,” she said, pausing for a second to try to collect her thoughts. She had to be careful, Midna could feel it. Although Ganondorf looked almost like he was honestly regretting everything that had brought them to this moment, looking at her like he was trying to make her feel better, she could sense the danger around her, the way she was balancing on a thin line above the abyss as she recalled the way Ashei had looked when she had first seen her, the way she still looked, all courage in the world not being able to erase the effect the months in the dungeon had had on her, “I also don’t think that Ashei is doing that great either.”</p>
<p>“Ashei?” for a moment, Ganondorf looked almost like he was not aware of the fact that Midna was not the only one in the dungeons, but then he let out a little sound, recognising the name, before shaking his head. “Oh, yes. Goddesses, the captain who was convinced by my daughter to…” he made a little, displeased sound. “I had almost forgot about her—I thought that I had already ordered them to free her. I suppose I will have to order someone to do that again later. But I was actually not planning to talk about Ashei. I wanted to talk about you, Midna.”</p>
<p>In the silence that followed, there was no doubt about how he was waiting for her to respond, showing a weakness, drawing his attention towards it.</p>
<p>As Midna remained quiet, carefully erasing all traces of emotions from her face, Ganondorf adopted a more concerned look, taking a step towards her. “It really is quite the scandal, don’t you think? Here you are, the princess of the Twilight Realm, having just been forced to spend almost an entire week in the dungeon of Hyrule Castle. Really, once we have restored order, figured out a way to handle this, I will have to talk with my son about how he should be more careful about acting as a servant to his emotions. Ordering his guards to seize the Twili princess… if I had not received news of his stupidity so quickly, I would not dare to think about what could have happened.”</p>
<p>By now, he had reached her, and, placing an arm around her shoulders, Ganondorf began to lead Midna through the room, over towards the throne, not pausing for even a moment as he did so. “Imagine my joy when I heard about you, Midna. All those years, we had thought that the queen had been killed during the cowardly attempt at seizing power, that she had died alone, betrayed by those she trusted the most. And now, we suddenly received evidence that, not only had she escaped, she had also given birth to a daughter, an heir. I would say that the people of the Twilight Realm would be overjoyed to hear about your existence.”</p>
<p>In that moment, Midna could feel her control slip, making her unable to obey her own plan of trying her best not to give away information. Turning to the side, just enough to allow her to look at Ganondorf, it felt almost like the words forced their way up her throat, echoing in the empty room. “Why…? Why are you doing this?”</p>
<p>Had Midna not already had time to learn that she could not trust him, that Ganondorf was better at manipulating those around him than she could ever hope to understand, she knew that she would have found herself unable to fight back the instinctive urge to trust him as he sent her a little smile, letting just the right amount of confusion make its way onto his face as he did so. “My dear, I am afraid that I am not sure what you are talking about. I am trying to help you, that is all. After my son’s hasty decision to imprison you, it was the least I could do to show you my joy at seeing you alive.”</p>
<p>“No.” finally, Midna found the strength, fuelled by the surge of anger that flowed through her as he continued to lie, continued to try to convince her of the same lies he had once told the people of the Twilight Realm, and, with a harsh shove, she pushed his arm off her shoulder, taking a step away from him to make the meaning of the gesture even more clear. “No, you are not. You—you are the reason for why I was in that cell, you are the one who is to blame for what has happened—you killed my mother, or at least you were the one to give the order that she had to die for you to seize power.”</p>
<p>There was nothing about the look Ganondorf sent her that made the lie obvious, nothing about the perfect mask of confusion and sympathy that should have strengthened her conviction that she was not about to lose her mind, that what she could remember from all the years she had lived in the fortress had really been the truth, and yet, as he spoke, Midna knew better than to trust a single word for even a moment.</p>
<p>Still, if Ganondorf was able to see the flames of anger in her eyes, he did not let it show, instead simply continuing just as he had done before, with a voice full of worry and compassion. “I am afraid that I truly don’t have any idea about what you are referring to. While I understand that you have been through a lot, that you might not be aware of just what you are saying right now—something I accept the responsibility for, seeing as I was the one who made the mistake of leaving my son here to act in my stead, trusting his judgement when I clearly should not have done that—I will have to admit that those claims make no sense.” he grabbed her hands, moving a little, bending in his knees slightly, just enough to let it show more clearly that he was not a threat to her. “Midna, I don’t know who told you these lies, but I can assure you that they are nothing more than that, pure lies, designed specifically to make you view me as the villain. I am not. The two of us—you and I, we want the same thing. And now that I know about your existence, we can work together, helping each other to achieve exactly that.”</p>
<p>“And what is it?” despite her best attempts at making her voice cold, Midna could hear how she did not succeed, not fully, at least, a little of the curiosity that filled her at his words dripping into her voice. “What is it that you think I might be interested in helping you with?”</p>
<p>“Achieving peace.” Ganondorf said the word like it went without saying, something she would ever believe might really be his motivation. “Is that not what we all want to see: peace, a world without pain, violence, pestilence, and poverty—everything that is bad? If we just work alongside each other to achieve this goal, I know that we can reach it. Imagine it, Midna, you are the long-lost princess, surely, you must be one of the few who will be able to understand this, you who has had to live without the luxury of a castle and power for your entire life.”</p>
<p>Midna did indeed understand it. The thought of creating the exact world Ganondorf was describing—it was alluring in a way she could hardly understand, dragging her forwards, tempting her with promises of being able to return to the base with the message that they would never have to fear anything bad happening to them ever again. And, at the same time, Midna knew that, no matter what he might try to claim, her idea of peace would never be able to exist alongside Ganondorf’s. Their dreams were too different for that to happen.</p>
<p>She turned towards him, making sure to keep her back straight, lifting her chin just a little, remembering everything Zelda had told her, trying her best to show the man in front of her that, no matter what he might think, she would never give in to him, she would never become someone he could manipulate, she would never betray all those who counted on her. “And just how are you planning to achieve this peace?” Midna spit out the word, not even trying to hide exactly what she thought of it, how she knew better than to trust Ganondorf’s promises. “You, the person who attacked the Twilight Realm, you who killed the rightful queen and all those who tried to avenge her, all those who tried to free the kingdom, how are you planning to achieve peace? Is it the state the world will enter once you have killed the last of your enemies? Or will you still have work left to do once I am finally dead and you will be able to lie about my reasons for being here, claiming that I might not even have existed at all?”</p>
<p>“No!” Ganondorf stepped backwards, a look of pure horror meeting her eyes as she looked at him. “No, I would never—Midna, you have to trust me when I say that I never did any of those things. All I want is to create a world where no one will ever have to fear anything bad happening to them. Don’t you see that it was what I was trying to do when I came to help the royal family of the Twilight Realm, creating order in a country that would otherwise have torn itself apart with the civil war that was brewing in the shadows? I know that you must think I should have done more, that I should have been able to save the queen as well, but, believe me, no one feels worse about how I arrived too late to do anything for her than me. All I want to do now is to declare you the rightful ruler of the Twilight Realm. Then, once the situation is stable, I would be able to spend the last years of my life right here, surrounded by my family, with the comfort of knowing that the world has become a little bit safer for those who just want to live a peaceful life. Midna.” he said the word, making it sound more like a prayer than her name, almost like she was the last hope he had left, like he was counting on her. “I need you. I need to be able to give them a queen if I want to be able to leave again. I have thought about just declaring a person who seemed sufficiently wise the queen, but I knew that the moment someone figured out that she was not the true heir to the throne, the wars would begin anew, and that, this time, I might not be able to arrive in time to stop it from becoming a massacre. I need you, I need your past, I need you to step forwards, into the light, and claim your rightful place on the Twili throne. Only then will we be able to move closer to the ideal world I have worked so hard on creating.”</p>
<p>“And then what?” Midna was satisfied to see how Ganondorf’s mask slipped for a moment, allowing her to see past the façade and instead realise that he was surprised by her comment, the warm feeling of knowing that, even though he was able to twist the truth so elegantly that she might just have begun to doubt herself, it was still only a mirror, a reality he had constructed for himself, a world he was now trying to trap her in, allowing her to find the courage to continue. “Say that I accept this story. Let us pretend for a moment that I agree to your plan, that I tell people about who I am, who I should have been, and that you actually let me go, that you actually allow me to return home to the Twilight Realm. Then what? I know you. You might be better at making the lie look like reality than I had imagined, but you will still not be able to convince me that you would not simply return a few months later to seize the power once more, this time making sure that you do not repeat the mistake you made the last time. I know that if I was at the Palace of Twilight, I would only put myself in the exact place you want me to be, somewhere where I will be surrounded by guards sworn to follow your orders, unable to escape when they will inevitably turn their weapons against me, ready to finish what they were not able to do when they attacked my mother. So, tell me again, what will happen if I agree to become a glorified puppet for you?”</p>
<p>The change was instantaneous, both in atmosphere and in the way Ganondorf acted. Gone was the warm, almost kind look in his eyes, the way he was able to act like all he really wanted, all he had ever wanted, was something as noble as peace, instead being replaced with a look of cold calculations, all of them taking place far faster than Midna could comprehend, making him able to predict her moves, figure out how to play his cards to achieve his goals. Except, Midna realised, he had quite clearly not been able to tell that she would not be brought over to his side this easily.</p>
<p>It should not have been a comforting thought, not when she looked up at him and saw the anger in his eyes, the way he was clearly planning her demise, but, despite all logic, it still made her feel a little warmer in the cold air of the throne room.</p>
<p>“You will do exactly what you have just described yourself because it is the only choice you have.” he moved closer to her, and although Midna was fairly sure that her height and youth would give her the upper hand instantly if it came to an actual fight, there was no doubt in her mind that any sudden movements right then would simply have resulted in the guards coming rushing back in, ready to defend their king. “You will do it because I am standing here, extending an offer that far outweighs anything you have deserved to be given. You will do it because, in the end, you are like me.”</p>
<p>He was trying to make her angry, and for a moment, it did also work, the world becoming red around Midna as she stood there. However, almost like how she had known that she had made a mistake the moment after she had turned her anger towards Zelda back at the base, some hidden part of her came alive, giving her the strength to ignore the urge to yell, to scream that no matter what happened she would never be like him.</p>
<p>Instead, Midna fixed Ganondorf with a cold glare. “Maybe I am.” once more, the reaction to her words was evident, Ganondorf raising his brows as Midna shrugged. “I mean, given how we have both been born into a royal family, I suppose that we have that one thing in common. However, that is also the only thing we have in common, seeing as I would rather die than allow you to make me some kind of puppet for you to control. I will not grant you access to the Twilight Realm through me, so if that is the best you can do, I would suggest summoning your guards to tell them to take me back to the cell, for I have nothing left to discuss with you.” feeling how the glee of seeing the anger that was painted onto Ganondorf’s face was able to keep the fear back , Midna turned around, already taking a step away from him. If he wanted to attack her, if he wanted her dead, there was no reason for him to wait until she would not be able to see him, not with how the castle was swarming with his soldiers.</p>
<p>But he did not attack her, not the way Midna had expected for him to do, at least. Rather than yelling for the guards to come back, he simply reach out, catching her wrist before she was able to pull it closer to her, forcing her to stand still as he tightened his grip so much that Midna had to bite her tongue to not let out a pained scream. It had been naïve to think that he would allow her to simply walk away just yet, that was the thought she tried her best to use as a shield between herself and the pain. She should have expected it.</p>
<p>“What about your friends then?” he said.</p>
<p>Although Midna continued staring straight ahead, not wanting to give him the joy of knowing that he had managed to find exactly the right subject to make her stay, she could still hear him stepping closer to her. The next moment, Ganondorf had walked around her, coming over to stand in front of her, leaving her with no other choice than to either look at him or turn her head. Midna did the former. If she showed him that he had made her move, he would win. But, as Ganondorf continued, his voice dropping to a whisper, assuming a far more threatening sound than he would ever have been able to possess if he had yelled, she could not help but wonder if he had not already won.</p>
<p>Evidently, he shared that opinion with her, for the smirk he sent her could only be described as victorious. “Yes, what about your friends, Midna? I know that you are not unintelligent. You may have thought yourself cunning enough to believe that you would be able to sneak into the castle, believing that I would not know that there was something wrong the moment one of the guards from Clock Town reported having met the princess, that I would not be able to see the lies in your story, but you are not completely devoid of intelligence. You will never give up the location of your fellow conspirators, no matter what I may be able to offer you, no matter what I may do. They are out of my reach, and for that, I will have to congratulate you. You really did succeed in your quest to keep them safe. Be happy for that—although you will never be able to achieve you goals of taking the entire kingdom away from me, you may be able to keep them safe. However, you must remember that you did not come here alone.”</p>
<p>“Zelda.” she should have stayed silent, Midna could feel what little chance she might have had of denying everything die the moment the name fell from her lips, the sound of it almost seeming to be amplified by the silence around her, and yet, she could not keep it from happening.</p>
<p>“Yes, Zelda.” Ganondorf smiled at her. All that was left of the earlier warmth was a flicker that seemed almost like the burning remains of Ordon Village. “I understand that the two of you thought that you would simply be able to go in here, tell me that you had saved my daughter, which would then allow her to demand that you should be able to stay here so that you would get the opportunity to place Zelda on the throne. Don’t look so surprised—I can assure you that my daughter did not betray you, it simply was a far too obvious plan, nothing I was not able to figure out for myself the moment my son told me what had happened.” letting out a sigh, Midna knowing better than to interpret it as a sign that he was tired, Ganondorf moved through the room, dragging Midna along after him until they were both facing the set of double doors, allowing them to look at the stairs outside, looking out over the town below. “No, I am afraid that my daughter is far too soft for her to ever have been able to see when she was in a situation where the only escape for her would have been by opting to save no one but herself. I suppose it has always been that way, I was just too blinded by love to see it. But,” he turned towards her, “if you accept my offer, I believe that my daughter will finally gain a little value.”</p>
<p>“She—” Midna had to force herself to continue breathing, the anger forcing all air out of her lungs, “you—Zelda is far better than any of us! How dare you talk about her like that, like she is just some—some…” she could not finish the sentence.</p>
<p>Maybe that was what hurt the most, the fact that even as she stood here, knowing that she had nothing left to lose, she could still not find the words to describe her. No matter how hard she tried, it felt almost like the words escaped from her, all of them not seeming quite able to properly describe Zelda and the way she was able to continue to believe in the best of those around her even when all evidence should have told her that it was better to just give up completely.</p>
<p>When it was apparent that she would not be able to think of a way to finish the sentence, Ganondorf shook his head at her. “I must admit that when I heard what Zant had to tell me about the princess’ pathetic display of affection, the way she had completely given up her dignity, yelling and screaming at the guards, I was not certain about what to think. After all, how could I be sure that she was not simply yet another foolish girl who had had the first taste of freedom and was now reaching out for any chance she might have of escaping the marriage I had planned for her? But now…” he shook his head, “I can see that, if anything, my son was really understating what had happened.” without giving Midna a moment to ask what he was talking about, Ganondorf clasped his hands together, the sound echoing through the room as he gestured towards the town that created a patchwork quilt of colours in front of them, the houses’ varying shades of blue roofs meeting her gaze as she followed the movement. “Midna, you and I both know what will await her if she remains here. The moment I have had the opportunity to reach a new agreement with the king and queen of Labrynna, she will be placed on the first ship bound for the royal castle of Labrynna. Only, this time, I will make sure not to send anyone with her with so weak wills that she will be able to convince them to help her.” it could barely have been more obvious how Ganondorf paused, looking over at her, waiting for her to turn around, to yell at him that Ashei was the last person who could ever have been described as weak-willed. When she refused to give him the satisfaction, he let out a little laugh. “I see. It pains you to know that you are unable to do anything to stop it, does it not? But, what if there was something you could do? Was if you were able to stop this from happening, what if you were able to free Zelda, to leave this place with her?”</p>
<p>Midna waited. In just a moment, he would be bound to lose his patience, telling her what he was talking about without her prompting him, she knew that. But as the seconds passed, the silence growing heavier around her, and Ganondorf still did not say anything, Midna could feel how the need to know what he was referring to chipped away at her determination to remain silent.</p>
<p>In the end, she was the first of them to break, sending him a look full of hate as she did so. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>He did not waste any time telling her that she had just done exactly what her wanted her to do, but he did not even have to say anything for Midna to know that she had just brought him one step closer to victory by letting him know that he had her attention.</p>
<p>Rather, Ganondorf simply sent her a smile. “Well, let us imagine for a moment, that you apologised for how quick you were to turn down my generous offer of making you the queen of the Twilight Realm and agreed that, with how much we have in common, we would be able to help each other. That would make you the queen of the neighbouring kingdom. And, as I am sure you know already, every kingdom needs to make sure that its allies will remain close, something that can be done through such a thing as marriage. I have seen the way my daughter fought for you. Did you know that she refused to eat for the first two days after you were caught? It was not until I sent Raven to inform her that if she did not feel hungry, then I was sure that both you and Ashei would also able to make it without food that she finally began to eat again and even then, we were not able to let her leave her chambers, simply due to the fact that she has made it clear that her loyalty lies with you and not us. If given the chance, she would be willing to steal the keys to the cells from a guard and flee with you, I can tell you that much. But, if you just accept this offer, I will let you leave together; I will allow you to leave without having to fear that I will send one of my guards after you. All I needed to know to be able to make this offer was whether you would be interested, and, believe me, I have heard enough already to know that there is nothing you want more than to accept my offer. So why don’t do it? Save yourself, save Zelda, and leave this place to instead live in the Palace of Twilight for the rest of your lives.”</p>
<p>Lies. All lies. Midna tried to repeat that to herself. No matter how tempting it was to lose herself to the fantasies of how she would be able to find Zelda, the way she would smile when Midna would tell her about how she had saved her from having to marry the crown prince of Labrynna, Midna had to remember that Ganondorf was not making this offer because he wanted to make sure that his daughter would be happy. The only reason that she was still standing here, outside, and not still rotting away in her cell was that he needed her and the power she might be possess if the news of how the Twilight Princess was held in the dungeons beneath Hyrule Castle would reach the people of the kingdoms.</p>
<p>So, although she yearned to simply agree, to give up the fight and accept that this was all she could hope to achieve, Midna made herself strong as she looked down at him. “You are lying. I know you are. The royal family of Labrynna would never accept the fact that you broke your promise and let a woman who had just become queen marry your daughter. It would create a war, and although I know that you do not think that your daughter is worth much, I can tell you that she has already told me more than I would ever have been able to learn on my own. I know that you are afraid of Labrynna, I know that you are scared that they will discover the truth about just how you came to rule the Twilight Realm.” Midna was not sure how much of it was meant for Ganondorf, how much of it she said because she wanted to get him to stop lying to her, and how much of it was simply an attempt for her to kill the hope that fluttered in her chest, her attempting to silence the voice whispering to her that it would be so easy, so simple, to just give up and be as selfish as she could possibly be.</p>
<p>If Ganondorf had just been angry, if he had responded by snarling at her, Midna would have known that she had won the silent fight between them. But the truth was that he laughed, the sound sending shivers down her back. “Do you really believe that? Well, if you have really heard about it from my daughter, then I suppose that is the kind of naïveté I should have expected, though I must admit that I had thought you would be able to realise the truth. But, seeing as that is not the case, I will have to tell you that myself. Midna, do you really believe that Zelda is the only person in the entire world who does not want to marry a stranger? Are you really dumb enough to think that I will not be able to find an ally in the Labrynnan crown prince, even if his parents should view the cancelled marriage as an insult? He may have tried to not make it obvious, and I will give him that he did a far better job at that than my daughter did, but still, it is not exactly a secret that he is only marrying her because his parents want him to. Admit it, Midna; none of us want a war, not as long as we can prevent it by all agreeing to close our eyes to reality.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know that. The prince, you said it yourself—he is only marrying Zelda because he has to. He might be able to do what is right.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps he will.” Ganondorf smiled at her, the grimace looking more like he was about to grow tired of her than anything else. “But seeing as he is still just the crown prince, as insignificant as Zant, it does not matter and will not matter for several years. So, what do you say? Will you finally give up this hopeless battle and ensure that you will end up on the winning side, or would you prefer to meet an early death? Would you prefer to leave this castle in a month, returning home to your new home in the Palace of Twilight with my daughter at your side, or does the option of meeting your demise with the knowledge that you are leaving her behind to face the horror of being forced into an unwanted marriage on her own sound better? And don’t try to fool yourself with fantasies about Zelda somehow being able to spread the truth of your past, somehow convincing the people to rise up along with her. You will die as just another pirate with my daughter being prevented from ever talking to anyone who might have believed her. No matter what you might be thinking right now, you will not be able to find a way out of this place that will allow you to win.”</p>
<p>She should have been frightened, if not for herself, then for Zelda. But right then, as Midna looked over at the king and saw the lines of age on his face, she felt completely calm. “I know.” the laugh that escaped her was greeted by a shocked look in his eyes, spurring Midna to continue. “I know that I will not be able to leave this castle in a way that will allow me to win. But I also don’t have to. The only thing I will have to do to create a peace that will be better than anything you can offer is to kill you and your son, and, luckily, I will be able to do all of that without ever leaving the castle.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna was sure that she had gone too far, that she had just stepped into territory she would not be able to leave alive. For that was what it seemed like as Ganondorf looked at her, blind rage flashing in his eyes, making it look almost like the only thing he wanted to do was to kill her himself.</p>
<p>But then he took a deep breath, calling for a guard.</p>
<p>With how the blood was pounding in her ears, the room spinning around her, Midna doubted she would even have been able to offer an actual struggle if she had wanted to when the guards came rushing into the room, one of them moving over to lift her up the moment Ganondorf pointed at her. All she was sure of as she was carried back to the dungeons, almost thrown into the cell, the guard only pausing to give her half a second to stand up on her own before shutting the door behind her, was that she had just made sure to make the only chance of her being able to leave the castle alive move out of her reach.</p>
<p>However, as she looked over, making eye contact with Ashei, and saw the little nod she sent her way the moment the guards had left the room, Midna knew that she had made the right choice. If Ashei thought that what she had done had been brave rather than foolish, then she knew that Zelda would think the same, a fact that was able to somewhat keep the guilt of knowing that she could have saved her by dooming everyone else at bay. But it was not enough to make the pictures disappear, and so, as Midna finally found herself too exhausted to even cry, her dreams were filled with the visions of how they could have returned to the Twilight Realm together, living in the palace that, in her dreams, continued to take the form of the fortress she had come to know as her home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is so close to being finished, a fact I don't really know what to think about. I mean, I am glad that it is almost finished, but then again, there is only five chapters left of this and then it will be done, which feels really strange to me right now.</p>
<p>Anyway, sorry for rambling about my thoughts about finishing this and thank you so much for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even before she had opened her eyes, Midna knew that something had happened. She could feel it, not only in the way the echo of boots hitting the ground at a rapid pace echoed through the dungeon, the ceiling above her not being enough to block out the sound of how the soldiers must be running through the courtyard right at that very moment, but also in the way she did not dare to look and receive proof that her worst fears were about to come true. If Ganondorf had somehow found out about the base, if what she could hear was the sound of his soldiers preparing an attack on the fortress, Midna did not know what she would do. The universe would probably make it easy for her, given how her position, the metal bars separating her from the rest of the world, did not exactly grant her the option of throwing herself in between her friends and the soldiers’ weapons, not that it kept her from throwing herself at the bars, pulling at them, unable to deny that some part of her was hoping that she might be able to bend them if she just tried enough.</p>
<p>But, of course, metal would not give in to silly dreams, just as the bars did not give way as she applied all the pressure she could muster to them. She was stuck, left with no other choice than to listen and try to figure out what was happening.</p>
<p>At least that was what Midna had thought. Only a few minutes after she had at last let go of the metal, having to admit that she would never have been able to escape that way, the sound of footfalls grew nearer, this time coming from the stairs rather than from above.</p>
<p>They were going to kill her. That much was clear to Midna as she sat there, observing the way Ashei pushed herself off the floor, moving to stand up, having seemingly forgot everything about the power it gave her when she was able to let the guards underestimate her, with only a vague sense of acceptance.</p>
<p>In a way, she supposed that she had known that it would end like this for most of her life; it was bound to happen after all. Sooner or later, she would find herself in a situation where she could not create an escape route for herself, and it would appear that this was it for her. She had only ever had one thought, no hope, that, when that moment would come, she would not feel as alone as she did right then. Zelda was still kept within her quarters, left all alone. Perhaps, if she was going to die, Midna should have been so kind to herself that she would entertain the hopeless idea of Zelda having somehow found an escapeway for herself just to spare herself from the pain of knowing that she had not even been able to help her in the end, that she had—no matter how it had been Zelda’s idea from the beginning—dragged her back to the place she had fought so hard to escape from.</p>
<p>But she was not even able to do that much, not now. The truth was that it would only last a couple of days, the mission to bring an end to what little sense of normalcy they had been able to pretend they could find within the base. They just had to fly over there and back again, then Zelda would have no way to escape the marriage.</p>
<p>Really, as Midna saw Raven enter the dungeon, she was almost grateful. At least she would not have to face the consequences of the failed plan for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>However, just as Midna had begun to move towards the door of the cell, wanting to at least show him that she was not afraid, Raven turned away from her, instead facing Ashei.</p>
<p>“It has begun.” that was all he said, three little words, and yet, it had a greater effect on Ashei than anything Midna had seen during the last week.</p>
<p>Her eyes widened as Ashei stepped backwards, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth, all thoughts about how she was supposed to pretend to be close to death clearly forgotten about as she looked back over at Raven, tears making her eyes shiny. “Are you—are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely. Come, we have to get out of here immediately.”</p>
<p>It was the sound of keys clattering that made Midna finally wake up and realise that they were going to take Ashei. Ashei, the person Zelda had trusted enough to ask her to help her with going directly against the king’s wishes, Ashei, the captain Midna could thank for the fact that Rusl was still alive. She could not let that happen.</p>
<p>“Stop!” her scream must have taken them by surprise, for despite the fact that she was not able to produce a yell that was more than a loud whisper, Midna still saw Raven jerk, the shock making him almost drop the keys. Seeing how, although unintentionally, she had managed to get a little closer to her goal, Midna continued, for once completely indifferent to what consequences it might have for her. “I won’t let you take her! You—you are the worst, most despicable person I have ever met! Where is your conscience—” Midna did not make it to the end of the sentence, but to her surprise, it was Ashei rather than Raven who interrupted her.</p>
<p>“Midna, stop, you don’t understand,” she began, “Raven, he—”</p>
<p>“I don’t care about what reasons you may have to be willing to die!”</p>
<p>“Die?” Ashei frowned, for a moment looking almost like she was not sure that she had heard correctly, though it was soon replaced by a grimace that was halfway a smile, halfway a look of sadness. “No, Midna, I am not going to die. Raven, he is part of the rebellion; he is with me—with us.”</p>
<p>Looking back and forth between them, Midna could practically feel how the effects of the lack of proper nutrition was catching up with her, making it difficult for her to focus on the question of just what she was supposed to think. But no matter what, one thing was certain; the different scenarios that might be able to explain what was happening—Ashei having finally broken, now simply accepting the fact that she would have to die, that there might possibly be an agreement she did not know about that entailed Ashei having to lie like this, or, the one that truly scared her, that she was telling her the truth—could not all be true, not at the same time.</p>
<p>“He is…?”</p>
<p>This time, Raven was the one to answer. Twirling around again, he looked down at her with a smile that seemed so kind that she was almost unable to remember why she had ever looked at him and decided that she would blame him for the fact that Zelda was gone. But only almost. As he spoke, Midna still heard the voice of the man who had been responsible for ignoring Zelda’s pleas, instead taking her to her room, and no amounts of being at least a little kinder than other guards might have been would ever be able to change that. But even then, Midna found herself unable to tear her gaze away from him as he moved through the room, coming over to crouch down next to her cell, bringing himself to her level for a moment, unable to cover her ears with her hands the way she should have done to deny him the chance to lie to her. Instead, Midna listened.</p>
<p>“I am. I realise that you have very little reason to trust me and that I have not exactly done anything yet that should make you believe a word of what I am saying, but I assure you that I am one of you.”</p>
<p>Above them, Midna heard a single scream, the sound, a piercing cry of pain, being so full of horror that it sent a shiver down her back. The second she looked back over at Ashei and Raven, she knew that they had heard it as well, Raven turning away from her for a second to exchange a series of glances with Ashei, clearly having a conversation that Midna was not able to understand even a single sentence of. But, in the end, Ashei must have told him not to leave them, for Raven looked back at Midna, the calm look that had otherwise been present in the lines around his eyes disappearing in an instant.</p>
<p>“We don’t have much time. Midna, I know that I have no right to ask this much of you, but I need you to trust me right now. Only then will I be able to save you and Ashei.” he reached out, extending his hand towards her, everything about the gesture letting her know that he did not want to leave the dungeon before he had made sure that she was with him, unwilling to leave without saving both her and Ashei.</p>
<p>It was in that moment, as Midna looked up at him and saw the way he was determined to not just help the one he claimed to be affiliated with through their shared connection with the Resistance, she almost thought she could see the same kind of determination that had been present in the maid’s eyes when she had offered to help her, running away to gather supplies for her. He was the person who had tried his best to make sure that her meals would not end up on the floor, the only one who had gone to great lengths to balance the plate and bread through the space between the bars even when they had not been wide enough to really allow him to do that. And, although she knew that, if she was wrong, she would just have made a mistake there would be no way back from, Midna found herself reaching up, taking his hand.</p>
<p>Raven’s eyes sparkled as he nodded at her, a tiny smile making its way onto his face as he began to fumble with the lock. Seconds later, the door was thrown open. After all those days, it felt almost unreal to know that she had the entire castle in front of her with nothing there to keep her from letting her feet take her wherever she would want to go other than the confusing sets of corridors and doors that almost seemed to lead into nothingness. It was a feeling that, for a moment, made Midna pause, instead watching as Raven unlocked the door to Ashei’s cell as well, offering her a helpful hand as she moved, an offer Ashei was quick to refuse, even though the pained expression on her face as she took a step was enough to make it clear that she was not as unharmed as she had made it seem like, barely able to keep back a pained grimace as she placed her weight on her right leg.</p>
<p>But, while he did look back over at her for a second, clearly wanting for her to just accept his help, Raven did not comment on it, merely running back over to pull Midna out of the cell, placing a hand on her shoulder to keep her from falling as she stumbled forwards.</p>
<p>“All right,” Raven said, already beginning to walk towards the stairs leading towards the upper levels of the structure, Midna and Ashei both following right behind him, “we have to get going immediately. I am not sure how far the soldiers have got, but before long, they will realise that you are gone, and when that happens, we will have to be as far away from the castle as we can possibly be.”</p>
<p>Her mind felt like she had not slept for ages, but that did not mean that Midna was not aware of the fact that this, Raven fearing that the soldiers would come back soon, was enough to eliminate the idea of them having somehow figured out where they could find the base. It should have been a relief, or at least Midna knew that it would have been that a month ago, but now, as she looked over to see Ashei nodding at Raven, clearly aware of what was happening, it only made the worry pool in the pit of her stomach. Not daring to stop walking, to become the person who slowed them down, possibly making the difference between escape and capture, Midna turned towards Raven. “What do you mean? Why would they come back here—I thought they had found out about the location of those I know.”</p>
<p>“No.” Raven shook his head, hurrying up the stairs, two steps at a time, Midna struggling to keep up even as he grabbed her hand, helping her move faster. “No, that has not happened. This—” he paused for a moment, having to pull her up a particularly steep section of the staircase, Midna hearing her blood rushing in her ears, “this, it might actually turn out to be what will save us in the end. Somehow,—I don’t know how, not yet at least—it would appear that the news of your arrival, the truth about who you are, it has spread to the town.”</p>
<p>It should have been enough to make the world stop, making everything around her come to a sudden halt to make way for the realisation of what it all meant, but that did not happen.</p>
<p>Instead, they all continued to make their way up the stairs, Raven having to catch his breath in between the words. “The fights began a couple of hours ago—I think it was a baker who threw a sack of flour onto a nearby guard, unaware of the fact that there was a lit candle close to them—but now, the battles have reached a point where they are out of control. We have received orders to go out to restore order, but…” the glance between Ashei and Raven was enough to tell Midna what had happened already before Raven continued, “I doubt that it will be enough. However, it does give us the perfect cover for your escape. With all of the chaos, I doubt that they will even notice that you are gone until it is already too late for them.”</p>
<p>“And the civilians?” the question came immediately, all traces of her imprisonment disappearing from Ashei’s face. In that moment she looked almost like she was ready to give up her own chance of escaping unharmed to instead help the residents of the town.</p>
<p>Apparently, that was what Raven was seeing as well, or at least he made sure to shake his head at her. “They will be fine. Right now, the battle mostly takes place in the air, a few of the civilians having been able to seize control of a couple of the ships in the fleet. That is where it is truly dangerous to be right now. Nabooru has already reached the hangar—she will make sure to maintain control of it, keeping both the civilians from being able to reach the battleships to put themselves directly into the line of fire and preventing the king from gaining even more power.” at that, Ashei opened her mouth, evidently to try to argue with him, but she did not even get the chance to get a single word out before Raven shook his head. “Ashei, there is nothing you can do for them right now! Remember the oath—trust that Nabooru knows what she is doing and come with me! We don’t have much time, so if we do not hurry now, you will not be able to make it.”</p>
<p>They reached the top of the stairs, Raven turning around the corner rather than continuing towards the throne room. It was not until then, as they sprinted down an unknown corridor, Midna trying her best not to slow them down, trying to focus on how Ashei was able to run as quickly as Raven even with the pain in her leg, that she remembered how they were about to leave Zelda behind in a castle that was under attack.</p>
<p>“Wait!” although she was not able to scream as loudly as she wanted to, not able to produce as much sound as the situation called for, it was still enough to make both Raven and Ashei stop, turning around to look at her, the need to continue running evident in how they both continued to move, Raven placing his hand on his gun, almost like he wanted to assure himself that it was still there as Midna continued, hearing the fear in her voice. “Zelda—we can’t leave her behind, not now, not with the castle under attack!”</p>
<p>She had expected to be forced to come up with arguments to convince them to risk their lives to save her, but to Midna’s relief, Ashei only sent her a confused look, stepping in front of Raven. “Midna, where do you think we are going?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know! I just know that we cannot just leave her here!”</p>
<p>At that, Raven stepped between them, running the few metres that separated himself from Midna. Taking her hand, he began to lead her back over to Ashei, somehow moving even quicker than he had done before  as he began to talk, the words coming quickly, almost like he was desperate to convince her not to stay there, not to slow them down. “We are! Goddesses, Midna, we have sworn to protect the princess, to give our lives for her if it comes to that—we will not leave her.” they reached Ashei, continuing to sprint through the corridor, and, although she should no doubt have said something, said that she understood and was sorry, Midna was not able to find the air to force out a single word, instead allowing Raven to continue, his words clearly being meant for Ashei with how he looked over at her while he spoke. “She is still in her room. The guards outside the doors—they are our men—they should already know what has happened.”</p>
<p>That explanation left Midna feeling almost even more confused than before, but as they turned around the corner, reaching a hallway that connected with a staircase halfway through, a set of doors marking the end of it, she knew that questions would only slow them down. So, even as she knew that she might be making a mistake by trusting Raven and his half-finished explanations, she made the choice to focus on nothing more than how that both Raven and Ashei gave away the fact that Zelda was close by with the way they both ran a little bit faster. They were so close, Midna feeling almost drunk with the joy of knowing that soon, if only Raven really knew what he was doing, they would have saved Zelda. They could leave the castle, all of them. Ganondorf would look for them, no doubt about that, especially if they took his daughter, but Raven had seemed so sure of his plan, so certain that he would not be able to reach them once they left the castle. Just a little more.</p>
<p>And then the dream shattered, falling to the floor as a loud bang echoed through the hallway, Midna feeling something warm fly right past her ear. The next moment, the floor disappeared from under her.</p>
<p>It was not until she fell forwards, barely able to bring up her arms to try to soften her fall as she rolled over the floor, making it past the staircase, that she realised what had happened, how Raven had jumped forward, closing his arms around her, throwing both of them past the opening in the wall.</p>
<p>A bullet. The warm thing that had flown right past her, missing her by nothing more than a couple of centimetres—it had been a bullet. All doubts Midna might have had about that disappeared the second she had another loud bang echo through the hallway, the sound closely followed by the sound of metal meeting stone, a spark hitting the wall right behind.</p>
<p>Sitting up, helped by the hand Raven extended towards her, Midna tried her best to regain control of her breathing, tried to make sense of what was happening. They were here, her and Raven sitting on one side of the hallway, Ashei still stuck on the other side, having thrown herself back, using the wall to shield herself from the attack.</p>
<p>Next to her, Midna could hear Raven whisper to himself, the shock evident in the way he was not able to keep her from hearing every word. “What the—where are the guards?”</p>
<p>Risking a look, Midna leapt forward, already hearing the yelp her stupidity received from Raven. For a fraction of a second, Midna stuck her head out from beyond the safety the wall created for her. She might not be able to do anything in that moment, but she was certain that she would not be able to just sit still and wait for her attacker to reach her, and so, the little moment seemed almost like the perfect compromise between the fact that she knew very well that she was risking her life by looking and the need to know what was going on. But one look was also all she needed to know exactly what was happening, enough to let her piece the rest together.</p>
<p>There, at the bottom of the stairs, she could see Byrne, standing with a grin on his face as he aimed his musket at her, Midna barely having time to throw herself back behind the wall before the shot echoed through the hallway. The mystery of just what had happened to the guards Raven had ordered to protect the princess had been solved by the sight of two bodies lying on the ground, having seemingly fallen from the top of stairs, or at least it seemed to be the case with how they lay next to Byrne’ feet.</p>
<p>For a moment, the sheer desperation was almost enough to make her lose all hope, unable to see what they could possibly do to prevent what was beginning to look like the only possible ending to all of this from happening. But then Raven had pushed her back, already holding up his gun, advancing towards the stairs as he turned around to shout an order at her.</p>
<p>“Midna, go, get Zelda! She is right behind those doors, up in the highest room in the tower!”</p>
<p>“But—” they were alone, Raven only armed with a gun that looked hopelessly old next to Byrne’s weapon, Ashei completely unarmed as she looked over at them. Midna should have welcomed the opportunity to just leave, to save Zelda, but right then, it felt like she had frozen over, becoming ice, unable to move at all.</p>
<p>However, Raven did not seem to care, simply throwing something over at her, Midna not realising that it was the bunch of keys he had sorted through in the dungeon until she had already caught it, the cold metal confirming that this was indeed happening, that she was not caught in a strange combination of a dream and a nightmare.</p>
<p>“Go!”</p>
<p>And this time, Midna obeyed. Pushing herself up, away from the carpeted floor, she sprinted towards the doors, forcing herself to ignore the sound of gunfire behind her, the increase in metallic clangs telling her that Raven had begun to answer the attack. There was nothing she could do about it now.</p>
<p>Inside the tower, the air was cold, almost enough to make her forget about the warmth of the bullet that had flown right past her as well as the growing sensation of fear that had followed the realisation that they would not be able to make it the tower, at least not without abandoning all hopes of being able to reach Zelda’s room, Byrne no doubt having intended to follow them had Raven not stayed to defend the staircase, keeping him from being able to follow. Now, the best Midna could do was to make sure that, should it really come to that, he would not have brought that sacrifice for nothing.</p>
<p>Her legs ached as she sprinted up the stairs. More than once, it was nothing but pure, dumb luck that kept her from tripping over a step, her legs becoming heavier and heavier as she grew more tired, but she did not slow down.  Finally, just as Midna began to feel how the lack of proper food coupled with the exhaustion made the world around her become darker, her mind struggling to cling to consciousness, the stairs stopped, Midna instead finding herself standing in front of a set of doors, the sheer size of them making them look impossible to force open.</p>
<p>Midna fumbled with the keys, feeling how she wasted a couple of precious seconds she could not afford to let slip out of her grasp as her icy fingers almost caused her to drop them. But, finally, she found a key that with its intricate detailing seemed to match the doors, and, whispering a quick prayer, Midna tried it.</p>
<p>The lock clicked, and although she wanted to stay there to just let herself breathe, thanking the goddesses for having let her guess correctly, she did not have the seconds to waste on such a thing.</p>
<p>Pushing the door open, the fact that it required all of her strength, Midna having to push against the floor below her, keeping her feet solidly planted, able to, for a moment, push back the fear that she would still be caught, Midna entered the room. Someone gasped, but she was not finished, not yet, so Midna forced herself to remain alert, closing the doors and pushing down the bolt.</p>
<p>Then she turned around, and, for a moment, she was almost able to fool herself into thinking that she might be safe already, that she might already have reached her goal.</p>
<p>Zelda was there. Sitting on her bed, a piece of torn fabric resting on the floor in front of her, Zelda was looking over at her, the look of pure shock letting Midna know that, much like she had to assure herself that she was really awake, that this was not just a cruel dream, Zelda had to make sure that she was not sleeping right then, almost unable to believe that they might actually be here, standing in the same room again.</p>
<p>And then she jumped down from the bed, almost falling in the pile of fabric in front of her, as she sprinted over to Midna, barely giving her the chance to realise what was going on, what was going to happen, before she had thrown her arms around her, pulling her so close to her that Midna did not have to ask her to know that, if the world would just allow it, Zelda would never have let go of her.</p>
<p>But, although Midna would have liked to stay there, standing there with Zelda crying into her hair, she knew that they were not safe yet. The faint sound of gunfire was enough to remind her of that even if she might otherwise have tried to fool herself into thinking otherwise. So, trying her best to ignore the feeling of how her heart broke as Zelda looked up at her, tears streaming down her face, Midna pushed her away, instead turning her attention towards the torn up fabric on the floor.</p>
<p>“Zelda…?” she gestured towards the fabric, all too aware of how she had to think of another way to leave the room, that the way she had come from would only lead to their deaths if she decided to risk it, that all of this was nothing but a way for her to momentarily distract herself from the fact that she was the only one of them who had been able to reach Zelda’s room, that it was now up to her to figure out a way to escape.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” following her line of sight, Zelda did really look like she would not be able to explain why she had begun to tear up the fabric that Midna could now see had been her bedsheet before ending its days as a bunch of torn up fabric on the floor. “It’s just… they left me, and I had to do something. So I began to tear it up, hoping that I might be able to—might be able to.”</p>
<p>And as she looked at where Zelda was looking, saw the ink that had been spilt onto the fabric, making up words, the letter being nothing like Zelda’s usual elegant handwriting, but still legible, large words urging the reader to fight, something about the Twilight Princess having returned, Midna realised what she meant.</p>
<p>“You…”</p>
<p>Zelda nodded, freeing her from having to finish the sentence. “Yes, I tried to throw it out of the window. Most of them, the little pieces of fabric, they just fell into the courtyard, but I think—I think a few of them might actually have made it over the castle walls, into the town. I—I had thought that it would help you, but… well, I am not that sure anymore.”</p>
<p>With Zelda still clinging to her arm, almost placing so much of her bodyweight onto Midna that she was not certain she would be able to stand if she let go of her, Midna moved through the room, at once afraid of the sight that would meet her once she reached the window and feeling the giddy excitement allow her to ignore the pain in her leg as she moved. That was when she saw it. The peaceful town, the sea of blue roofs, it was all gone, red flames having taken the place of the calm blue. But it was more than just that. As Midna leant out of the window, barely able to control herself enough to not give in to the temptation of leaning out just a little too far to be able to get a better idea of the situation, it was clear that the state of the town could only be described as pure chaos, the distant sound of yells and screams reaching her even as she stood up there, with what felt like an entire world separating her from both the battle and the freedom that could be found outside.</p>
<p>A loud crash coming from the other side of the door forced her to return to the situation as footsteps began to echo through the spiral staircase just outside the room.</p>
<p>“Midna?”</p>
<p>“Yes?” she turned back towards Zelda, trying her best not to let her own panic show on her face, not to let her see that, right then, Midna had no idea of how much time they had left before Byrne would enter the tower. “What is it?”</p>
<p>“We are trapped. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now—” Zelda glanced towards the window, swallowing once as she tried to keep back the tears, “now… I am not that sure anymore.” another crash, this time coming closer to them, made her look back over towards the door, the fear shining in her eyes as she tightened her grip around Midna’s arm. “Goddesses… we are going to die, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>And that, the fear and the pain, was what finally made Midna tear herself away from the window, redirecting her full attention towards Zelda and the fact that, right now, the only thing that mattered to her, the only thing that should matter to her, was making sure that Zelda would not have to know what the answer to her question was beginning to look like.</p>
<p>“Of course not,” Midna said, somewhat able to keep her voice from trembling, giving away the fact that she had no way of knowing whether she was able to make such a promise. Still, it did not keep her from reaching out, trying her best to look directly into Zelda’s eyes, ignoring the way her gaze continued to flicker, almost like she was unable to stay still. “Zelda, we are going to be just fine, do you hear me? What we heard—it must have been Ashei and Raven, hurrying up the stairs. Just you wait, in a moment, they will be here with us, and then they will be able to help us figure out a way out of this room.” already as she said it, Midna knew that not a single word of what she was saying could be the truth. Not only were the footfalls too loud to belong to Ashei and Raven, but the interval between them was also enough to let her know that they belonged to only one person. In truth, they were trapped inside the tower, with no way out that did not include a long fall she knew they would not be able to survive, no matter what they might do.</p>
<p>But, even if only for a moment, it seemed that her plan was working, Zelda looking up at her, the panic disappearing from her eyes to instead make way for relief. “Ashei?” she whispered. “Is she…?”</p>
<p>“She is all right. Raven came to help us both—he is with the rebellion, he is with us.” forcing herself to stay focused, Midna did not wait to see Zelda’s reaction, did not wait to see if she believed her. For now, the only thing that mattered was figuring out a way to get Zelda out of the tower, to get her to the escape route Raven must have prepared for her and Ashei.</p>
<p>The bedsheet caught her attention, Midna feeling almost like she was dreaming, like it was not real, as she stepped over to lift it up from the floor. The fabric was thick, strong. Maybe, if she just made sure to tie the knots tightly, possibly layering the fabric, it would be strong enough to support Zelda. Perhaps she could then lower her to the ground, using the window as a way to escape the room. But that was all assuming that they would be given the luxury of enough time to do all of that, to make sure that it would not rip halfway down.</p>
<p>Almost like the world wanted to remind her that there was no hope left, the sound of something heavy hitting the doors echoed through the room, the sudden sound making Zelda scream.</p>
<p>That was what made the decision for her. They would not be able to stay there, and so, even though Midna was not nearly optimistic enough to believe that her plan would be able to work, they had to try. The tiny chance there was of being able to get Zelda to the ground was better than the alternative, even if Midna did not yet know just how Zelda would be able to escape the chaos of the town.</p>
<p>“Zelda!” yelling her name, Midna took Zelda’s hand as she began to walk towards the ruined bedsheet. To her relief, Zelda followed, no longer frozen with fear.</p>
<p>Instead, she continued to talk, the words coming with such speed that it almost seemed like the moment she would stop speaking would also be the second the bolt would have to give way to the repeated sounds of someone throwing their full weight onto the door. “Midna, we are going to die, we are going to die…” she continued to repeat the words, unable to even look up, having buried her head in her hands. It was not until Midna pulled at the bedsheet, tearing a long strip of fabric off, that she really woke up. But by then, it would appear that the moment of fear had also left her with enough courage to begin to move, for she let go of Midna, though it was only for a moment. The next second, Zelda had turned around, planting herself right in front of Midna, not quite interrupting her attempts at trying the bedsheet into a rope to get her to safety, but also not trying to not be in her way as she reached out for her. “If—if we are going to die, Midna, I want you to know that I lov—”</p>
<p>“No!” the yell was far louder than what Midna had intended for it to be, but seeing as it had the wanted effect, Zelda taking a step backwards, falling silent, it would not have been possible for Midna to say she wished she could change that, not without lying. Still, she did her best to make her voice softer as she looked over at Zelda, shaking her head. “No, please, don’t say it, don’t act like we are already doomed. If you give up, then I doubt that anything I might ever be able to do will be enough to save you. Later, once we have left this place behind us, I will be overjoyed to hear what you have to say, but not now.” behind her, Midna could hear how the door was struggling to keep back Byrne, but she still dared to reach out, making a gesture she had thought was meant to wipe the tears away from Zelda’s cheek, but soon left her with no other choice than to admit that she had just wanted to know that she had at least got this much if she would not be able to follow her. “Zelda, I need you to be yourself right now. I need you to believe in the best in everyone and every situation.”</p>
<p>And maybe Zelda could see in her eyes that she was really asking for far more than that, for, rather than trying to argue with her, she nodded, patting the tears away with her sleeve before painting a smile onto her face. “I will try my best.”</p>
<p>That was all Midna could have asked for, so, without wasting another precious second, she nodded and returned to the task of making the bedsheet become a rope that would be sturdy enough to support Zelda, long enough to not leave her hanging several metres above the ground. Although the fabric burnt her hands, her fingers soon aching as she fought to tie the knots a little tighter, Midna was grateful for the fact that the work did not leave them with the chance to discuss what had happened. If Zelda would have asked about Ashei and Raven, if she had put what Midna already knew into words and asked what she thought had happened to them for Byrne to have been able to follow them up into the tower, Midna was sure that she would have stopped, unable to begin again. But Zelda remained quiet, and while Midna was not able to tell whether it was to spare her from the pain of thinking about anything outside the room, or if she was just trying her best not to let herself become distracted, it was what made them able to continue working, making it so that, within only a couple of minutes, they had destroyed all traces of what the rope in front of the had once been.</p>
<p>“All right,” Midna yelled, picking up the end of the rope, “I am going to tie this around your waist. Then, if I just make sure to tie the other end around the bedpost, and hold onto this, I should be able to lower you down to the ground.”</p>
<p>But as she moved over to Zelda, gesturing towards her that she had to move her arms a little to let Midna make sure that she would not be able to slip out of the loop, Zelda remained where she was, simply looking over at her with a frown. “And then what about you?”</p>
<p>“I will figure something out.” she was halfway able to believe that idea, to think that she might have time to both get Zelda and herself to safety. “No matter what, the sooner I know that you are safe, the sooner I will be able to get to safety as well.”</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna was sure that Zelda was going to argue with her, that she might even try to insist that she would wait up here, but then another attack made the door creak, the horrible sound of wood beginning to give up accompanying it this time, and she nodded, once, with eyes that shone with determination. “Promise me that you will be safe.”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>But already as they made their way over to the window, the rope trailing after Zelda like a tail, Midna knew that she would not be able to keep that promise, not with how they would have to be lucky for the door to provide them with even a couple of minutes more. Just in the handful of seconds it took for Midna to tie the end of the rope around the bedpost, pulling at it to make sure it would be able to handle Zelda’s weight, she was able to tell that she would not be given enough time to pull the rope back up, tie it around herself, and then make it down to the ground, not if she did not want to risk Byrne cutting the rope in half when she was still hanging in the air, metres above the ground, with nothing to soften her fall.</p>
<p>However, as Zelda stopped in front of the window, placing her hand on the window frame, Midna made sure to hide the doubts behind what she hoped was a wide smile. “It is all right; I am holding on, just step up onto the windowsill and lean out.”</p>
<p>Zelda opened her mouth to answer, but the moment she should have heard Zelda’s voice, focusing intensely to be able to remember every little thing about how she had acted during what might very well become the last moments Midna would ever share with her, Midna instead heard the loud sound of a steam engine struggling to keep an airship in the air.</p>
<p>It must have been apparent from looking at her that she had immediately jumped to the worst possible conclusion, for, rather than following her advice and jumping out of the window, Zelda threw herself back into the room, moving away from the window as the sound of the engine grew nearer.</p>
<p>It should have been the end. Midna was sure that, had it not been for the rotten luck that had followed her for most of her life, she would have died right then and there, either meeting the end of her life when Byrne would burst into the room or dying at the hands of the soldiers who should have been aboard the ship that flew down, manoeuvring around until it was as close to the window as it could come without risking puncturing the balloon above it. But it would appear that she was finally being granted enough luck to make up for the years of disasters, for, as Zelda moved back over to her, Midna seeing how the laugh that escaped her made Zelda shoot her a horrified look, almost like she was fearing for her sanity, she could not have been more grateful for the familiar look of the mismatched pieces of wood that made up the hull of Epona.</p>
<p>A figment of her imagination. It was all the ship should have been. But with how Zelda whispered the exact same thing that Midna was thinking, letting her grip on her hand grow a bit looser, though she did not let go of her at all, she knew that what she was seeing was really the truth. Epona was really hanging in the air outside the window, the woman standing at the rudder, waving at them, was really Ilia.</p>
<p>“Come!” even over the sounds of general chaos that rose up from the town below and the creak of splintering wood, Ilia’s voice was still audible as she gestured for them to jump over the little distance that was still between the ship and the windowsill, promising a long fall that would end with a greeting from the ground below.</p>
<p>Without thinking, not even stopping to wonder what price she would have to pay for her luck, Midna moved, sprinting through the room with Zelda following along right behind her. Jumping up onto the windowsill, Midna continued out into the air, hanging there for a horrible moment before landing on the deck of Epona.</p>
<p>Twirling around to open her arms, she urged Zelda to follow her, for, just as she had expected, Zelda was still standing in the open window, eyeing the fall that would await her if she was not able to make the jump, the fear of falling written across her face.</p>
<p>“Jump!” Midna yelled the word, gesturing towards herself. “I promise you that I will catch you! Just jump, Zelda, it is just a little step, you have done that thousands of times already! A little step, then we can untie the rope and leave all of this behind us!”</p>
<p>Midna wanted to think that it was her promises that made Zelda jump in the end, but from Zelda’s reaction, the little, alarmed yell, barely more than a whisper, and the fact that the door finally had to give way to the blows it had suffered, the bolt breaking in half, pieces of wood flying into the room as Byrne stepped over the threshold, she knew that the only reason Zelda threw herself into the air was because the alternative was able to make the fear of falling seem almost childish in comparison. Not that it mattered. In that tiny moment as Zelda leapt through the air, all that mattered was that she had to catch her, that she had promised not to let her fall.</p>
<p>And, as Midna pulled Zelda into an embrace, stepping backwards, away from the low handrail that was all that stood between them and a long fall, she was almost able to believe that she might have succeeded, that she still had a little bit of luck left.</p>
<p>Which was of course also the reason why everything went wrong the next moment.</p>
<p>It almost felt like the time was at once moving far slower than Midna was able to understand while also passing by at a mortifying rate, the rope that was still tied around Zelda’s waist growing tighter, pulling Zelda away from her. Looking back into the room, Midna had no doubts about the reason for it, not with the way Byrne smiled at her as he tucked at the rope. Like the fool she was, Midna had not bothered to untie either end of it before jumping onto the ship, having instead forced herself to think that she would have the time to untie it once she and Zelda were safe on Epona. But now, as she struggled not to let go of Zelda, realising that the hold she had on her would not be able to last for forever, not with how both she and Zelda were being dragged towards the side of the ship, even as Midna tried her best to slow the process, she knew that she had made a mistake by underestimating Byrne.</p>
<p>“Ilia—” Midna screamed her name, already knowing that, given how Byrne was still armed, Ilia would not be able to leave her place behind the rudder, not if she wanted to continue the fight to move them out of the reach of his bullets.</p>
<p>They were pulled a little bit closer to the handrail, allowing Midna to press her feet against it. But, as she found out the next moment, where her boots would have been perfect for that exact task, providing her with a large surface to fight against the pull, now, with the tiny shoes she had been given back in Clock Town, she would only be able to buy them a few seconds at best.</p>
<p>It was then, just as she began to feel how the handrail creaked, protesting against the amount of force it had to withstand, that Midna saw the sun reflected in the blade of the knife that sailed down from above her, Ilia somehow managing to aim at the plank right next to her. Hitting the deck with a soft clang, the knife began to move towards the edge, but before it would have been gone forever, Midna finally woke up.</p>
<p>In one quick motion, she reached out, closing her hand around the handle, and began to attack the rope they had tied around Zelda’s waist. Thankfully, she had not been as careful as she should probably have been considering how the plan had been for Zelda to jump out of the window, for after only a couple of slashes at the fabric, Midna was able to cut it over. The rope fell off the ship immediately, pulled towards the tower so that it hit the wall, the sudden lack of the force pulling her towards the window sending Zelda backwards, Midna moving along with her.</p>
<p>That was how they, as the castle finally disappeared below them, Ilia taking to the skies, found themselves lying in a heap of limbs, fabric, and dirt on the deck, for a moment unable to do anything but laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all, the fact that they were still alive.</p>
<p>Really, as she lay there, Midna could almost have believed that the rest of the world had disappeared.</p>
<p>That idea was soon brought to an end as she heard Ilia laugh at them. “Well, it is good to see that you are both all right. Considering everything you have been through, I think I will be able to wait until we are back at the base to ask you just what you did to create such a mess for yourselves.” craning her neck, Midna could see Ilia shake her head although she did not even attempt to hide her wide smile as she continued. “Farore, I was so sure that if there was one I would ever have to fly out to save after they had just managed to ruin their cover within a minute of entering the castle, it would be Link, but now I can see that I should have known that you would be the first to do that.”</p>
<p>Mostly, Midna wanted to continue to lie there, to revel in the fact that Zelda had yet to let go, her grip on her having gone from being a desperate attempt at staying on the ship rather than being pulled back towards the castle to instead feel much more like an embrace, Zelda having thrown her arm over her, her head resting on Midna’s shoulder. But as she looked over at Ilia, she knew that she owed her a thankyou. Or at least that was what she thought she would give, but as she opened her mouth, Midna could hear how all that really made it out was just a stream of questions. “Ilia, how did you even know that we needed help? Is—please don’t tell me that it is like this in the entire country.” she did not have to specify just what she meant. From the way Ilia looked away, it was obvious that she knew exactly what Midna was referring to.</p>
<p>“I think it might be, or at least every single one of Shad’s contacts has given us the same message, telling us how this is happening almost everywhere, people rising up to fight against the soldiers.” casting a glance at the destruction beneath them, the way the flames were spreading from one house to the next, Ilia shook her head. “I know—it is terrible. Just before I left the base, I heard—goddesses, I heard that there was an all-out rebellion in the southern provinces, that the rebels rising up there had been aided by Labrynnan soldiers, providing them with both men and weapons.”</p>
<p>“And the Twilight Realm?” it felt almost wrong to wonder about that now, to ponder the question of whether the forest around the base might have been set aflame, if she would return home to nothing but ashes, and yet, that was all Midna could think about as she looked over at Ilia, hoping for the best, but fearing for the worst.</p>
<p>“I don’t think these uprisings have spread to the Twilight Realm just yet—at least they hadn’t back when I left the base.” Ilia stopped, but she did not have to say more than that for Midna to know that it would have taken Ilia more than a day, most likely two considering the ship, to reach the castle, that the same spark that had ignited the violence in Castle Town could easily set the Twilight Realm ablaze. As Ilia added to her own sentence, it could not have been more evident that she tried her best to give her just a little bit of hope. “But at least it made it so that I was able to know that something had happened since one of the few things people seemed to repeat in all the messages Shad received was how there were rumours that the true Twilight Princess was held within the castle.”</p>
<p>It was her fault. Midna knew that it was not what Ilia had meant, that the reason Zelda looked up at her with wide eyes was not that she was blaming her for any of what was happening, but that was, nevertheless, the only conclusion she could see that was able to explain all of this.</p>
<p>She pushed Zelda away from her, at once unable to imagine being able to stay there, allowing anyone to be so close to her, before she had forced herself to take in the full extent of the damages. So, with Ilia’s worried remarks about how she should probably step away from the sides of the ship, keeping her head down, and with Zelda attempting to reach out to take her hand, Midna made her way over to the fall that was waiting for her, standing with nothing but the low handrail that barely reached the upper half of her thigh to keep her from flying through the air, finally getting the experience of the deadly jump.</p>
<p>They might have been able to fly away from the castle, hanging in the air just above the town walls, but that did not lessen the impact of seeing the town she had known to be whole just a few days before in a state of total terror. From her vantage point, Midna could see the people running through the streets, so many of them heading towards the gates of the town that they cluttered together in the streets, the fires threatening to trap them. But, as much as the sight made her want to sink to the floor, close her eyes, and force herself not to see anything, it was nothing compared to the way the sky was filled with airships, the tiny replicas of lightning bolts that followed the sound of each bullet tearing through the air making it look almost like shooting stars, only, instead of being something she would look at and wish that she might one day be able to return home, these were deadly and precise. Just in the few seconds she stood there, Midna saw how one of the larger airships was hit one time too many, the balloon no longer able to hold onto enough air to keep the ship in the air, making it begin to fall to the ground, at first slowly, but then faster and faster as more air left the balloon. It hit a row of houses, the flames that had engulfed the buildings being quick to spread to the wooden hull of the ship. And all of it, every single thing that was happening, was all because of her, had been brought into existence by the mere rumour that she might be in the castle.</p>
<p>They must have known that she was about to do something stupid, for the next moment, Ilia was at her side, tearing her away from the edge with so much force that, despite her small frame, she still managed to make Midna fall, only able to soften her fall a little. Next to her, she could see how Zelda, eyes wide and scared, tried to move over to make sure that she was all right, but she shoved her away. She did not want sympathy, not now.</p>
<p>“Ilia—” Midna had thought that she would look up at her to tell her that, no matter what Ilia might try to tell her to convince her that she was not to blame for any of this, she was wrong, but the look on Ilia’s face was enough to silence her before she was even able to begin.</p>
<p>With how her face looked almost like she was prepared to run directly into the castle and personally bring an end to the battles, Ilia was able to walk over to her, crouching down next to her without Midna trying to interrupt her even once. “No, you listen to me! A person within the castle must have told someone about you—I don’t know if they would have been with or against us, but no matter what, it would not make any of what happens now your fault. Do you understand?” when Midna could only nod, unable to even imagine arguing against her, Ilia pulled her gun from its holster by her hip. “Good. In that case, this is yours. Link told me to bring it to you the moment we realised that you were in danger.” she let the gun draw a long line in the air, sailing over to Midna who caught it, bringing it close to herself.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” as she finally got her gun back, the familiar feeling of it in her hand instantly making it all seem a little less hopeless, that was really all Midna could say, sending Ilia a smile she hoped would make it clear how it was both a thankyou and an apology for having brought worries to her.</p>
<p>When Ilia simply shrugged at her, not looking like she wanted to speak, but also not seeming like she was angry about having had to move over to pull her backwards—maybe she never had, Midna guessed, maybe she had just been worried all this time—she turned to Zelda, extending a hand towards her, gesturing for her to take it. She did not have to wait for long, Zelda instantly letting her help her to her feet.</p>
<p>She stood there, next to Midna, looking almost like she was not sure if it would be wise for her to speak, but then, the next moment, it became clear that, wise or not, she would not be able to stay silent for a moment longer. “Midna, I—about what I was trying to say back in the tower—”</p>
<p>Zelda did not get to finish the sentence, for the next second, the horrible sound of cannons forced all three of them to return to reality, that they were still hanging in the air above a town filled with chaos, having merely flown a couple hundred metres away from the biggest of the airships. Although the cannons missed their mark, the gust of wind that followed along was still enough to make the ship tilt dangerously, Midna barely having time to follow Ilia’s instructions of throwing herself down, pressing her face against the deck, pulling Zelda down along with her. From somewhere far away, she could hear Ilia sprinting back up to the rudder, see how she clung to the wood as she tried her best to move them out of reach of the cannons. However, as Midna dared to look up to catch a glimpse of which ship had decided to abandon the worst part of the battle to instead focus on them, she already knew that they would not have the luck that would be necessary to escape.</p>
<p>The ship was massive. That was the only word that could be used to describe the row of lines that connected the balloon to the hull of the ship. Deep down, Midna knew exactly who that ship would belong to, who would be the person aboard such a powerful weapon, but that did not keep her stomach from feeling like she had plummeted to the ground as she caught a glimpse of the crest of the Hyrulean royal family. With how it had been painted onto the side of the ship, the bright red colour of the lower half made it look almost like the airship was bleeding.</p>
<p>The sound of explosions was what finally made her snap out of her thoughts, at once acutely aware of the fact that, if they stayed here, it would only be a matter of time before they would be hit, before their luck would fail them and Ilia’s ship would meet the same fate as the ship that had crashed into the houses to their starboard side. Midna had barely got the chance to think it, before it happened, one of the soldiers on the attacking ship seemingly realising that, rather than trying to hit three tiny figures where two of them had pressed themselves against the deck, minimizing their risk of being shot, it would be far easier to hit the balloon keeping them afloat. That, they did, bullets flying through the air moments later.</p>
<p>The air began to escape, carrying a horrible high-pitched sound along with it. They did not fall, not at all. The balloon was still very much keeping them in the air, but Midna could see how the other ship began to move upwards, telling them how it really was their ship that was beginning to descend. Soon, the deck of the other ship would reach the level of their deck. Then, it would hardly be a problem for the soldiers to hit them, able to simply shoot at them from above. She had to do something before that would happen.</p>
<p>As Midna stood up, the world spinning around her, she could almost have tricked herself into thinking that everything had gone silent. With the panic clouding her ability to think straight, giving the things around her an unreal glow, the loud sounds of gunfire and cries of pain seemed almost non-existent, like they had willingly gone silent to allow her to yell up at Ilia.</p>
<p>“Get us closer to their ship!” just to make sure that there could not be any doubt about what she wanted her to do, Midna pointed towards the battleship where the soldiers running around told her that they did not have more than a minute at best before they would be able to fire their cannons again, bullets continuing to fly through the air all the same.</p>
<p>It was clearly something Ilia agreed with her on, for she barely took her eyes off the ship, instead yelling her answer back down to her. “What! Have you lost your mind—they are going to shoot at us, not even to mention the fact that we are losing altitude!” the ship creaked, almost like it wanted to support its creator’s argument, the lines that connected them to the balloon above beginning to sound like they were fighting to try to not simply snap in half. “Midna, we have nowhere to land, and with the size of the ship, we will be lucky to get even another minute in the air!”</p>
<p>“I know! Just—trust me, I know what I am doing!”</p>
<p>She could not hear what Ilia was whispering, but she also did not have to. With how she shook her head, it was clear that she was mumbling something about how Midna was going to get them all killed now. But despite her arguments against the plan, Ilia did spin the rudder, the ship obeying her commands, changing course to instead head directly towards the battleship.</p>
<p>Her heart felt like it was trying to escape from her chest, like it already knew that the plan could never work, that it was really just a desperate attempt to buy Ilia a little more time, giving her the chance to escape. But despite all of that, Midna plastered a smile onto her face, rolling over onto the side to look at Zelda.</p>
<p>“Zelda.” she reached out towards her, not fully sure about what she was doing, what she was hoping for, until Zelda responded by grapping her hand. “I need you to trust me right now. What I am planning—it is not a good idea, but it is all we can do right now.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>“Good.” but it was anything but good, nothing like any situation Midna would ever have wished for any of them. Still, she could not show that, not now, not when she had just convinced Zelda to risk her life for what could very well turn out to just be another in a long line of mistakes. “Then get ready. When I say so, we need to sprint towards the edge of the ship, jumping over onto their ship.” pausing for a moment, waiting for the moment when Zelda would tell her that her plan would never work, Midna looked into her eyes.</p>
<p>But Zelda only nodded, and although it was clear from the way her gaze flickered that she was frightened at the prospect of having to jump without anything to catch her, should she fail, she did not try to tell her that she had changed her mind.</p>
<p>She wanted to be able to tell her that her plan would not be necessary after all. More than anything, Midna wished that she could leave Hyrule for good and never return again. But that was not an option, so instead of getting lost in the fantasies of what could have been, Midna turned her full attention towards the task at hand.</p>
<p>Raising her head  a little from the deck, she watched as the battleship grew larger in front of them as they got closer to it, making it gradually look less and less like a ship and more and more like a castle in its own right. It was a bad plan, one of the worst Midna could even imagine, but right then, it would appear that it was nothing but the sheer stupidity of their plan that kept them alive, some of the soldiers having lowered their weapons, almost like they wanted to watch, wanted to find out if Midna was really going to continue on the course she had just yelled at Ilia to follow with the knowledge that it was most likely going to kill her soon.</p>
<p>The answer to that question was a clear yes. Not only would she not have been able to turn back now, Midna also knew that the moment they would try to escape, they would be lucky to make it even ten metres away without a distraction. So, as the ship dipped a little more, bringing them to the level of the deck of the other ship, a couple of metres of air and the promise of a long fall being all that separated them from the battleship, Midna tightened her grip on Zelda’s hand, tried her best to memorise every little thing about that moment. If it would be her last, she would be content to know that she had at last been able to just stay there, not tearing herself away from Zelda.</p>
<p>“Now!” Midna yelled, already leaving the safety of Epona behind as she ran towards the side of the ship.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have it, the revolution. Now, the question is simply whether or not Midna and Zelda will be able to stay alive through it, given who they are and how they are still near one of the main targets of both the rebels and the king.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They ran, Zelda moving alongside her, but even though she was clearly sprinting as quickly as she could, Midna was still faster. In a matter of seconds, they reached the handrail, Midna not slowing down. They would not make it if she did not approach the jump sprinting. She could feel how Zelda held onto her hand so tightly that it felt like it should have been enough to stop the blood from flowing into her fingers as Midna leapt over the side of the ship.</p>
<p>The air caught her, and for a single, horrible second, they were both hanging in the air with nothing under them other than several hundred metres of air and a meeting with the solid ground. And then Midna hit the deck, the wooden planks beneath her sending a sharp pain up through her leg, the feeling of something moving inside her ankle telling her that her entire body was protesting against the rough landing. But they had made it. Despite everything else, they had made it, Midna barely able to keep both of them upright as Zelda stumbled forwards.</p>
<p>For a second, no one said anything, the soldiers around them simply looking at them almost like they could not make themselves believe that they had not only been stupid enough to willingly leave the relative safety of their ship, but also been able to not fall to the ground. However, as much as it felt like the moment lasted forever, giving them time to take in the fact that, now that their weight was no longer able to pull down Epona, they might just have bought Ilia enough time to escape, their arrival at the airship perhaps giving her the distraction she would need, Midna’s heart only got the chance to beat once, the sound feeling louder than even the sounds of the cannons being fired, before they all leapt into action at once.</p>
<p>Feeling how Zelda froze next to her, Midna reacted instinctively, drawing her gun and stepping in front of her. It was meaningless, Midna did not need anyone to tell her that, she did not need anyone to look at her and tell her that she would not stand a chance, a single person with a gun she had never used except for when there really was no other way out against an entire ship of soldiers who, if nothing else, had the weapons that would be necessary to win a war, the weapons that had allowed them to enter the Palace of Twilight all those years ago, leaving only a handful of survivors behind. She would be lucky to get more than a few seconds more, Midna knew that. But even the cold feeling of being absolutely certain that she was going to die was still not enough to erase the fact that right then, as she stepped in front of Zelda, Midna could not have been more certain that she was finally doing what was right.</p>
<p>But her new discovery of something akin to courage did not change the fact that the soldiers all had their guns turned towards her, looking like they were only waiting for an order, a single word being all that kept them from opening fire immediately.</p>
<p>Midna’s hand shook as she tried to determine who would be the closest thing to a leader, who she should aim at if she wanted to buy a few extra seconds for Zelda. It was useless, of course it was. Nothing she could do now would be enough to negate the fact that they were two people, only one of them wielding a weapon, against the crowd in front of them. She was not certain exactly how many people were waiting for nothing more than the order to attack, her mind spinning, everything in her creaming at her not to drop her gun, to maintain control over her shaking hands, but she could see that it had to be at least forty people. Forty soldiers, at least forty muskets, possibly even more hidden somewhere in the ship, the ship itself being nothing more than another weapon, even more deadly than anything she could see up there.</p>
<p>She wanted to close her eyes. The only thing that would be worse than dying would be knowing exactly when it would happen, but she could not do it, not when she had to be able to answer the fire, to at least try to shoot the best of them, hoping that it would be enough for Zelda.</p>
<p>That was when she saw it. Just as Midna had determined the man closest to her to be the best of them, judging from the way he looked completely at peace, not even a single trace of worry to be found in his eyes, he looked over at her. But where she should have found either the empty look of someone waiting for orders in his eyes, that or simply anger, he looked at her for the longest time, before giving her a little nod, the smile that tucked at his lips almost looking like it was meant to be friendly. And then he turned his musket away from her, instead aiming at the soldier next to him. The next second, it became more than just that, no longer a matter of a single soldier turning against those at his side.</p>
<p>As Midna looked, more and more of the soldiers followed his lead, turning their weapons towards those around them. At first, it did not appear that they noticed anything, but then, slowly at first, but then all at once, almost like they were waking up to realise what was going on, the sound of alarmed yells echoed around her, the soldiers suddenly not so sure about what to do.</p>
<p>Midna did not lower her gun, but still, she could feel how their doubt spread to herself as well, as she tried to figure out who on the ship was still aiming at her and which of the soldiers were among those who, for some reason, seemed to have decided that they would rather aim ait their fellow guards.</p>
<p>The seconds passed, long and tense, Midna aware of the fact that even the slightest movement right now could mean the end for everyone. It would not take more than a single bullet or the illusion of one having been fired for the fragile peace that came to rest over them to disappear in an instant, everyone answering the attack without knowing who had been the one to fire their gun, who had been the one to be hit by the bullet. But at least it might be able to provide them with enough time to figure out a way to get Zelda away, a way for Midna to possible create a way to safety for them. She doubted that it would be possible, especially as a panicked yell brought an end to the silence around them, one of the soldiers who were still aiming at her asking for orders, but still. The fact that some of them were bound to hit one another, some of the soldiers having seemingly decided that those among them who had turned against the rest of the army would take priority over the two princesses who had just jumped onto the ship, might be able to save them, or at least that was what Midna tried to convince herself might be the case as she stood there, her finger moving closer and closer to the trigger. Really, she should just pull it and get it over with, prepare herself for the force that would try to knock the gun out of her hand and push Zelda to the ground, but in that moment, just as she had breathed out, preparing herself, she felt Zelda move behind her, reaching out to place her hand on top of hers, bringing the gun down.</p>
<p>“Wait, Midna, let me try to talk with them.”</p>
<p>Zelda was an optimist to the end. Midna knew that. But even then, she could not see how Zelda could possibly have looked at the situation in front of them and reached the conclusion that it would be possible for them to do anything, that her stepping forwards to talk would ever be able to change the fact that they were going to die. But still, it was all they could do, so, after forcing herself to swallow her doubts, Midna lowered the gun, remaining where she was, standing right in front of Zelda.</p>
<p>She could have spared herself that, however, for Zelda did not waste any time, simply stepping to the side to get around her before she turned towards the soldiers in front of them.</p>
<p>“Stop!” even over the sound of distant fighting her voice still rang out, able to drown out the noise. “Think about what you are doing. Is this really what you want—to die up here at the hands of those you share the most with?” as she spoke, Midna could see how Zelda began to stand up a bit straighter, evidently able to believe that what she was doing might work, as she pushed her shoulders back a little, lifting her chin. “If you pull the triggers, all that will happen is that we will all die, killing each other. It will be exactly what Ganondorf wants. Do you think he cares about any of you, do you think that he will be grateful for the fact that you were willing to sacrifice your lives? Because let me assure you that he will not mourn any of you. No, if you want to change the world, if you want to be the heroes you were promised you would become when you first picked up a weapon, you would fight for those who need you the most. You would fight for the helpless and the poor, rather than a king who has proven times and times again that he does not care about anyone but himself!”</p>
<p>They were going to die, Midna was sure about that. She could see how Zelda’s words were only going to upset the soldiers, making them even more determined to be the ones that would finally get to kill them. But even though she knew that she should have stopped Zelda before she got the chance to insult the king, right then, she was almost able to accept the fact that she was going to die for her mistake.</p>
<p>And then, one of the soldiers near her lowered her gun. It was not much, but as she moved her finger from the trigger, Midna saw how her reaction spread through the crowd, the soldiers aiming their guns towards the ground for a moment before finally putting them away entirely.</p>
<p>They stood like that for a moment, Midna trying her best not to give in to the temptation of hoping that this might mean that there was hope left for them still. No matter what, they were still standing on the deck of the king’s battleship, surrounded by an unknown amount of people who wanted to kill them as well as an unknown amount of people who were willing to do their best to save them. And, while the hostile soldiers would not be able to shoot them without them having time to react now, the same was also the case for those who might have tried to help. Really, the situation was not that different from what it had been before.</p>
<p>Or, at least it was, until the woman who had been the first to let go of her weapon stepped forwards. Midna reacted without thinking, taking a step to the side to stand between her and Zelda, knowing that she had made a mistake the next moment. But, to her surprise, rather than trying to attack her, the woman simply stopped for a moment, shooting her an uncertain look.</p>
<p>“Midna.” Zelda moved closer towards her, whispering to her, although, considering the otherwise almost total silence, it did not seem like it would be able to achieve much. “It is all right. They are with us.”</p>
<p>It sounded like an awfully confident promise for someone who was standing behind her, unarmed and unable to do anything to defend herself, to make, but, to Midna’s surprise, as the woman heard Zelda speak, she curtseyed at her.</p>
<p>“Your Royal Highness.” the woman looked at her almost like she could not believe that she was really standing there after all. “I—forgive me. I thought that—I don’t know what I thought, but no matter what, I was wrong. We all were.” around her, the sound of murmurs agreeing with her on that rose up from the crowd, the rest of the soldiers followed her lead, slowly moving closer towards her, almost like they wanted to prove the woman right by showing that they would now follow her.</p>
<p>“Uh…” it could not be more obvious that Zelda did not know how to react, but, at last, she continued, which, all things considered, was almost more than what Midna had dared to hope for, ”on behalf of the kingdom and everyone in it, I thank you for your loyalty and courage. Truly, once this is over, you will have saved us all. Now, if one of you would please tell me where to find my father, I would be even more grateful.”</p>
<p>The soldier moved, shifting her weight from side to side. It could not have been more obvious how she was still torn between wanting to stay true to the oath she had taken to protect the kingdom and her king and now the fact that the princess of Hyrule was standing in front of her, asking her to tell her about her father’s whereabouts, with someone standing right beside her who did not look like she simply wanted to speak with him.</p>
<p>“Impa.” Zelda moved forward, and before Midna had time to stop her, to try to pull her back to safety, she had crossed what little distance there was still left between the soldiers and themselves. Placing her hand on top of the soldiers’—Impa—she was almost able to hide the way she glanced towards those of the soldiers who moved to grab their muskets once more, almost, but not quite, able to hide the way she froze for a second before continuing, keeping her voice calm, almost like she was trying to force them to lower their weapons again by simply not recognising the fact that they had even touched them in the first place. “I know that you believe that you are doing what is right by protecting the king. But you are not. None of you are, not when the king is a tyrant.” not even the indignant shout that came from the back of the crowd was enough to stop Zelda.</p>
<p>Really, with how Zelda had still been able to remain somewhat calm while being pushed into a wall, Midna had her doubts about whether there was even a thing in the world that would make her completely shut off the way she sometimes did.</p>
<p>It certainly did not seem to be the case, not with how Zelda calmly continued, not even giving the shout and the insult that was hurled her way the next moment the honour of acknowledging it. “Look around you. Is this the work of a king who is true to the task of being a servant for the people? No,” Zelda answered her own question, “it is not. I realise that it must seem like a daunting, almost impossible task to deny everything you have ever known—trust me, I know what it feels like—but if you don’t do it now, if you don’t tell us where my father is, we might never get this chance again. So, Impa, I will ask you once more. Where is my father?”</p>
<p>The answer came immediately, closely followed by Impa pointing towards the door that seemed to lead into the same place where Midna’s cabin would have been located. “He is below deck, in his room. It should be easy enough for you to find him—he ordered all of us to remain close to the deck, ready to defend the ship with our lives.”</p>
<p>“And my brother?”</p>
<p>“The crown prince left the castle as soon as the fights began, taken onto another ship. I believe that he left the capital a long time ago, but I am not sure exactly where he went. Please accept my apologies, princess.”</p>
<p>“It is not your fault.” but even as she said it, Zelda had already turned towards Midna, sending her a look that could only mean one thing. In that moment, they were both thinking the same thing, that, even if they were able to find Ganondorf, it would not change much if Zant was able to escape justice, leaving the capital to try to form a bigger army around him, coming back once he had been able to realise that he would now have the advantage of being able to plan ahead.</p>
<p>However, as tempting as it was to just give up, Midna could not allow them to do that now. Not when she could look around her and see how Epona had become a little dot far away, Ilia having made it over the town walls, meaning that, although the ship was coming dangerously close to the ground, at least she would not find herself in the middle of the worst battles. She could not give up when victory was so close that she might have been able to touch it if she just reached out for it. No, as Midna answered Zelda’s questioning glance with a decisive nod, she knew exactly what she would have to do.</p>
<p>“All right.” trying her best to make it sound like she knew what they were supposed to do, like she was capable of making plans, Midna stepped forwards as well, moving towards the middle of the crowd. The fact that she had just made it laughably easy for them to surround her was present in her mind, the thought almost screaming at her to move away again, but she forced herself to remain still. “I suppose that some of you are here with the Resistance, correct?”</p>
<p>At first, it did not appear that anyone wanted to reveal themselves in front of those who had, until just a minute before, been their enemies, but, at last, a handful of the soldiers nodded back at her.</p>
<p>Forcing herself not to let out a sigh of relief, not to show just how much she had hoped for that to be the case, Midna continued. “Good. Since you are with the Resistance, I assume that you must have heard about me, just as I assume that you know who I am and what I am here to do. No, I am not looking for any of you to tell me it,” Midna hurried to add, seeing as one of the women to her right opened her mouth, almost like she wanted to make sure that she knew who she was as well, “all I am saying is that we, Zelda and I, might be able to achieve the goal we have all been fighting for for so long. All I ask of you is that you try your best to buy us more time. I am sure that we will not be left alone for forever, and I know that the moment he figures out what has happened, Ganondorf will try his best to get a message out, an order for another airship to try to take back control of this ship. I need you to keep that from happening, I need you to make it so that Zelda and I will be able to reach the king and do what we will have to without having to worry about anyone from Ganondorf’s inner circle reaching us. Will you do that for us, for the kingdoms, both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm?”</p>
<p>The sound of all of the soldiers in front of her agreeing to do just that was deafening, nothing but the fact that she knew that it would not exactly help her case, the pirate and long-lost princess having to cover her ears as she spoke with people, keeping her from trying her best to block out the sound. Midna could not have been more thankful when Zelda grabbed her hand, the two of them moving through the crowd that parted in front of them, allowing them to reach the door and push it open.</p>
<p>By now, Midna had come to realise that, unlike what she had thought, the interior of the ship would consist of more than just a cabin for the captain, a storeroom, and then a number of rooms scattered along the hull, but that did not lessen the impact the almost labyrinthine interior had on her. As the door closed behind them, Midna deciding that she would simply have to trust that the soldiers and rebels would be better at defending the ship than they had been at keeping the fact that the princess of the Twilight Realm was still alive and was currently held within Hyrule Castle secret, she had to remind herself that they had entered through the door behind them, that they were not lost yet. But no matter how many times Midna swallowed, trying her best to push down the feeling of never being able to find her way back out to the deck again, the feeling of being trapped still moved towards her, making her heart speed up and her breathing become a little faster.</p>
<p>Zelda was the only reason she did not leave immediately. Midna was sure of that when Zelda tightened her grip around her hand, slowly leading her deeper into the ship, moving towards the end of the hallway, pausing as they reached a set of double doors.</p>
<p>“Midna,” Zelda mumbled, her hand coming to rest on the door handle as she looked back up at her, “you don’t have to come with me. I—I know that this ship is terrifying; I will not be able to ask you to come with me. So I ask you, Midna, not to think that you will have to follow me in here.”</p>
<p>It was almost like she had been able to read her mind, making it feel Zelda had been able to look into her soul and know what she wanted the most in that moment. Midna would not have been able to say that she was not tempted by the offer, that she did not want to thank Zelda and accept her offer to continue on her own. After all, as long as she stayed in there, no one would have to know, not if Midna did not tell them, not when she already knew that Zelda would never let it leave this room if Midna did not want for it to happen.</p>
<p>However, as much as the option of staying out there, to not have to move deeper into the ship, moving further away from the fresh air and the place where she was able to tell what was going on around her, where she would not have to spend each second wondering if it would be her last, if it would be the moment where another airship would decide to turn their cannons against them, tempted her, Midna could not bring herself to say yes. She couldn’t do it, not when she looked down at Zelda and saw how her hands shook even as she gripped onto the door handle so tightly that her knuckles became white. It would not be right to let her continue on her own, to simply give her the gun and wish her good luck, not when Midna had promised her that she would come along to be the one to pull the trigger.</p>
<p>Still, as Midna shook her head, she already knew that her decision had more to do with the fact that she would rather die than stay out here, unable to know whether Zelda was alive or not than with any feelings of guilt. “No. I left the base with you, so I am going in there with you as well.”</p>
<p>Zelda tried to hide the fact that she was smiling, clearly trying her best not to let it show that she had hoped that Midna would not leave her, but she was not able to hide it even a little. “Are you sure? You know that no one would think any less of you if you did not come with me, least of all I.”</p>
<p>“But I would. I know that I will not be able to wait for you out here, allowing my fears to bind my hands and being unable to do anything other than merely hoping for you to survive.”</p>
<p>The lighting around them flickered, the ship tilting a little, but Midna could still see how Zelda bit her lip before continuing. “I will be all right. He is my father, after all.” but she could not keep the trace of doubt out of her voice.</p>
<p>“I know. Which is also why I cannot let you go in there on your own. It would not be right to ask you to do this yourself.” Midna tightened her grip on the gun, forcing herself not to shake as she nodded towards Zelda. “I am going with you; there is nothing that would be able to keep me from doing that.”</p>
<p>After that, Zelda fell silent, something Midna was grateful for. As clear as it was to her that she had to come with her, she was not certain that she would have been able to deny herself the option of turning around and running away if Zelda had offered it to her once more. But now they moved forwards in silence, through the door, Midna staying behind Zelda, careful to remain close to her each time the lights flickered for a moment before coming back again. A couple of times, Midna was almost convinced that they would not come back again, leaving them in darkness, but it did not happen. However, that did nothing to calm her nerves, and the closer they got to what Midna deemed to be the middle of the ship, the clearer it became to her that, maybe, she really was not scared of the dark, nor was the thing that sent shivers down her back the thought of losing track of where Zelda was.</p>
<p>No, the closer they got to where the king was, the closer Midna was to bringing an end to what had been her life up until that moment. She had known about that for far longer, of course she had been aware of the fact that everything would change with the king’s death, that everything would be entirely different after today, even if they were not able to also find the crown prince, right from the moment when she had first left the base with Zelda, making their way towards Clock Town with the goal of getting Zelda onto the Hyrulean throne. But planning to overthrow the king and change the kingdom, restoring the Twilight Realm, was one thing. Actually doing it was something else entirely.</p>
<p>The fact that they were able to move through the inside of the ship, neither finding themselves attacked by any soldier who might have harboured a stronger loyalty to their king than the ones they had encountered on the deck, nor being killed instantly by a nearby ship deciding to fire at them, did not do anything to lessen the feeling of how something was wrong. She tried not to think about it, telling herself that it was completely normal to be nervous, that she would barely have been able to consider herself human if the thought of heading towards the man she had known as the person responsible for killing everyone she had loved, accompanied by Zelda, yet another person Midna would not be able to lose, did not make her feel like she should have passed out a long time ago. But the truth was that as they reached the end of another long hallway, Zelda turning around to look at her, Midna was struggling to even hold onto the pistol, her courage threatening to fail her completely.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” Zelda whispered to her.</p>
<p>Midna’s mind said no, but in her heart, she knew that she would not be able to turn around now. Not now when she was so close to her goal, not now when she had made Zelda leave Epona with her, taking her directly to the danger. So, putting on an expression she hoped might be mistaken for bravery, Midna nodded. “I am.”</p>
<p>Zelda opened the door. It swung open, having not even been locked</p>
<p>The first thing Midna noticed as she stepped into the room was how empty it was. Of course, she was aware of the fact that, if it had really been meant to be the last place for the king to go in case of an attack, it would not be as ornately decorated as Hyrule Castle, but that did not change the fact that the room looked eerily bare, almost like someone had ripped out what little furniture that should have been in there—a bed, a chair, anything at all—to instead replace the space they had filled before with pure nothingness.</p>
<p>But, in the absence of furniture, it almost looked like Ganondorf was taking up even more space, making it so that, while Midna was able to tell herself that she was taller than him, that he had not suddenly grown in the days that had passed since she had last seen him, she had to fight the urge to crane her neck to look up at him as she moved into the room with Zelda. It was not real, he was the same as he had always been, they all were. The only thing that was different now was the fact that Midna was not a little child anymore, too scared to leave her ship. She had come to the castle with a mission, and now, she would make sure that she would finish it.</p>
<p>The air around her seemed to grow thicker as Ganondorf turned around, looking completely unsurprised, regarding them with a look of boredom in his eyes. Then he spoke. “I see that you have managed to find me.”</p>
<p>Even now, even after she had been able to look up at him and know that he was lying, there was still something in Midna that wanted to believe in the almost fatherly way he moved towards them, acting like he wanted to make sure that Zelda was all right after everything that had happened, after he had left her in the tower during the attack, only stopped by the way Zelda drew back immediately, moving to stand a little closer to Midna.</p>
<p>“We are here to bring an end to everything.” Zelda’s hands brushed against Midna’s. “We—the soldiers, they have all agreed to help us. It is over; there is nothing you can do to stop what must happen now.”</p>
<p>Ganondorf smiled at them, able to hide his emotions so well that Midna truly was not able to know if he did not care or if he was only pretending. “I knew that they would turn on me the moment you told them to do so. They are weak—they will always be weak. And those who are weak have a habit of looking towards the weak people around them, wanting to follow them so that they will not constantly be confronted with the fact that they could have achieved so much more if they would just do what their mind told them to. People so rarely want to admit that they want to hold the power for themselves, so they make themselves weak, lying about how they do not want to rule after all.”</p>
<p>Midna had heard enough. She should perhaps have stayed quiet, giving Zelda the chance to finally confront her father, but listening to this, standing here and hearing how Ganondorf told Zelda that she was weak, that she was somehow less for not being willing to sacrifice everyone and everything for power, she knew that she could not stay quiet for any longer. The hand that clutched the pistol shook slightly as she pushed her shoulders back. “She isn’t weak. I have seen first-hand how much she can do, how she was able to stay calm when surrounded by people who were seconds away from killing us, being the only one who was unarmed, how she was ready to sacrifice herself for those around her.” looking over at Zelda, Midna hesitated for a moment, though she already knew what she would have to say next. “She—she is no doubt the reason that I was even able to realise that I had to do more than just fight for my own survival. She was the reason I even began to think about the fact that I might be able to overthrow you simply by being who I am. So if you want to try to claim that she is weak, you will also have to try to fight for the opinion that all of that, the situation we are in now, is not something that affects you deeply.”</p>
<p>Her body knew what was going to happen before her mind did, her stomach beginning to ache the moment Ganondorf looked back and forth between them, a wide smile growing as he seemed to reach a conclusion he found satisfying.</p>
<p>“You know what, I think that you might be correct.” he spoke slowly, too controlled, the sound of his voice making Midna instinctively move closer towards Zelda, wanting to stay near her, knowing that, should the worst thing happen, she would at least have spent her last moments in her presence. “That was the mistake I made—I thought that the daughter who returned home to me was the same as the daughter I saw leave me—a weak girl who was unable to even grasp the way the world around her worked, instead preferring to live in her own world where power was given away to those who were kind rather than those who fought to obtain and keep it. But I can see that that was not right. Somehow, and I don’t know how you did it, the daughter who came back to me was more pirate than princess.”</p>
<p>“She will be a better ruler than you could ever hope to become!” Midna spat out the words, hoping that, although it was a childish insult, unable to really hurt, the fact that she had not gone quiet, the fact that she still spoke, did not remain quiet, might be enough to not allow him to turn his attention towards Zelda, instead finding himself too preoccupied with trying to figure out her next move.</p>
<p>“Perhaps. I would certainly hope so, given how her brother would never be able to achieve anything.” as Zelda let out a little gasp, the sound being so low that, had it not been for the silence around them, Midna was certain that she would have been the only one who would have been able to hear it, Ganondorf laughed. “Oh, don’t look so surprised! You and I should be the two who are the most aware of how he has a habit of acting before he thinks—I mean, just look at the decision he made back at the castle, ordering the guards to imprison the princess of a neighbouring kingdom without bothering to make sure that none of them could have any connections to the rebels!” Ganondorf shook his head. “No, Zant was able to make himself cold, he could make all softness that might otherwise have influenced his decisions disappear. But he never learnt how to stay calm, how to weigh the options to reach the best decision. But you, Zelda, you might finally be able to do so.”</p>
<p>“I—” Zelda took a deep breath and Midna could almost see how she said goodbye to her father as she lifted up her chin, her eyes shining with barely controlled grief and disappointment, “I will never be like you. Once I become queen, I will change the world, for the better this time.”</p>
<p>But rather than reacting with anger or with another laugh, Ganondorf simply looked over at Zelda, sending her a gaze that made it seem almost like she was a complicated puzzle he had to figure out how to solve. And then, making Midna feel like it would perhaps have been better to just give up when they had first landed on the deck of the ship, Ganondorf smiled at his daughter. “I see. If that is what you really think, then it would appear that I was wrong. You are still soft. And I know just who is to blame for making you this way.”</p>
<p>Midna should have panicked. She should have felt something, done anything other than just standing still and waiting for it all to be over. But no matter what she should have done, no matter how much she knew that she was only making things worse in the end, no matter how much she was aware of the fact that Zelda let out a little, panicked noise, sounding so close to a sob that the only thing Midna wanted to do was to reach out and assure her that everything would be all right in the end, that no matter what would happen now, she would be grateful for the fact that she was here with Zelda, she could not bring herself to move.</p>
<p>That was how she stood, remaining frozen in place, as Ganondorf levelled an icy glare at her. “You. I could tolerate the hushed rumours that you might be out there somewhere. It was what I could expect, given how people seem unable to let go of the past, clinging onto the ‘what if’’s and the ‘what could have been’’s. I could even tolerate the fact that you were attacking my ships, that you were so careless with how you chose to plan your attacks, almost making it so that the merchants from Labrynna did not want to fly through Hyrule anymore, creating a problem that I had to handle before it would have grown too large for me to be able to control anymore. Din, I could even tolerate the fact that you took my daughter, given the new one I got back in return. But this,” he stalked closer to her, the way his eyes shone with hate almost making him seem taller, “I will not accept this. You are the reason for my daughter’s childish obsession with justice and righteousness, and for that, you will pay.”</p>
<p>She knew that he was not making an empty threat, could feel it to her very core. But despite that, despite the fact that Zelda moved closer to her, her hand brushing against her side, Midna was somehow able to put on a calm expression, simply raising an eyebrow. “In that case, I suppose you don’t know your daughter very well, seeing as she was the one who was always talking about righteousness and how I had to do something. But I can see now that it is what I should have expected from you, given how you are unable to even use this great power you speak of to know what is going on right in front of you.”</p>
<p>The silence almost seemed to echo between them for a moment, a thousand different emotions flickering across Ganondorf’s face in the span of a single second. And then, his features settling into a look of almost pity, he shook his head.</p>
<p>“If that is what you think, then let me show you what true power looks like.”</p>
<p>It all happened far too quickly for her to even have time to feel terrified. One moment she was standing there, looking directly up at the person who was responsible for the fact that she had had to sit down and come to terms with the fact that now that she was caught, that she had had to accept the fact that no one would come to save her, that she had to realise that now, the most important thing was not whether she was able to survive, given how she had died the moment Zant had seen through their lies, but how she had to take the secret of the location of the base with her into the grave. Seconds later, Midna heard the sound of metal being pulled through the air at a frightening pace, the world blurring together in front of her. The next thing she knew, Midna was looking directly down the barrel of a gun.</p>
<p>She heard Zelda scream something next to her, moving towards her. But all dreams of how Zelda might try to take her hand, all thoughts about how she should try to shield Zelda in case anything happened, soon came to an end as Zelda simply brushed against her hand, continuing the motion rather than coming back to her. Her heartrate sounded like it was trying to make sure that she would be able to die from anything other than the bullet that would come flying out of the barrel of the gun in just a moment, sending warm blood flowing through her veins, sounding like thunder in her ears as she breathed in, slowly, the time she had left flying past her at a rate that made the floor below her tilt.</p>
<p>A bang echoed through the room, Midna feeling herself fly backwards, closing her eyes. She did not want to see it. If this, the inside of Ganondorf’s ship would be the place she would die in, she would not want to look up at the ceiling in her last moments. Instead, she tried to recall Zelda’s face, trying her best to remember exactly how Zelda looked when she smiled, the gesture making the entire world look just a little bit brighter. Soon, the pain would come, overwhelming her. Midna knew that it was what would happen next. That, or she would be gripped by the darkness immediately, so it was vital for her to use those last few seconds to remind herself of what she would have said to Zelda had she only got the chance.</p>
<p>The thoughts whirled through her mind as she moved through the air, only waiting for everything to end. Then she hit the floor, the contact with the wood beneath her sending long tendrils of pain shooting up along her spine. That was what made her realise that she was not dead, that the bullet had not hits its mark. The pain. She should not have been able to feel it, not without also noticing the agony of being shot.</p>
<p>Midna opened her eyes, already fearing for what she would find as she did so. Her dream pushed against the lid of the chest, begging to be let out, carrying all the horror of having the image of Zelda lying in a growing pool of blood, red staining both her face and the unwavering belief in the best in people, come true. It could not be. It simply could not happen, not now, Midna would not allow it.</p>
<p>She had closed her eyes so tightly, that, for the first second, the only thing she could see of the room was the way it all seemed to jump around, little, white dots telling her that she would have to be patient. Patient, how could anyone have expected for her to be patient now? How could anyone ask that much of her, to remain calm and wait, hoping that she would not look down to see her nightmares come alive? Midna knew that it was impossible.</p>
<p>Red. That was the first thing she was able to make out, the bright colour making the bile rise in her mouth. Zelda, she had to find Zelda. Even if she would find that the worst had really happened, she could not leave her alone, not the same way as so many of the people in the air around them and on the ground below would no doubt end their days. She deserved better than to be alone.</p>
<p>There. Midna could see her, sitting on the ground, kneeling over someone, her shoulders shaking.</p>
<p>With how her mind was still trying to take in the fact that she had not died, that she was still alive rather than lying on the ground, surrounded by red, it took her a second longer to recognise the person in the centre of the pool of blood, the source of it all.</p>
<p>Ganondorf.</p>
<p>He looked almost small as he lay there, his chest rising and sinking at uneven intervals, only the sound of ragged breathing and the way he tried to move his hand serving to make certain that there was no doubt about the fact that he was still aware of his surroundings.</p>
<p>“Oh, goddesses…”</p>
<p>It was the choked sob coming from Zelda that pulled Midna back to reality, to the fact that, despite how she had survived, the real battle might first have begun now.</p>
<p>She made it over to Zelda in what felt like it was as once both the tiniest fraction of a second and a moment that lasted for an eternity. Crouching down, Midna could feel how the blood began to seep into the torn part of her dress that landed on the king’s chest, close to the little, dark hole that rested there, looking almost like it might have been a special kind of jewellery, had Midna not been able to realise the connection between the fact that she was no longer holding her gun, the weapon instead lying on the floor a few metres away from her, having been discarded moments after she had heard the sound of a bullet leaving its chamber, the way Ganondorf’s black waistcoat was not able to hide the fact that he was bleeding, some of the red having reached his blouse, dripping onto the wooden planks beneath then, and how Zelda was sitting next to him, crying, while she pressed her hands against his chest.</p>
<p>It was hopeless; there was nothing they could do. Now, it was more than just the fact that he was bleeding that would bring an end to Ganondorf’s life, the bullet surely left inside his body. Midna could have told her all of that and more, but she remained quiet. As Zelda continued to work, her movements becoming increasingly desperate as the blood covered her hands, soon also leaving red streaks on her cheeks as she tried to wipe the tears away, Midna knew that she was aware of how she would never be able to bring him back to life. Right now, it was a matter of waiting for the inevitable to happen.</p>
<p>It was easier not to look down at the dying king. As long as she did not have to look at him, Midna could somewhat make herself believe that she was sitting next to Zelda, moving to put an arm around her, trying to comfort a dying friend, rather than silently placing her hand on her shoulder. Zelda did not need to know how she could not have cared any less about him, how the fact that he was going to die soon would surely only make her life better. And nor did Midna.</p>
<p>So she sat there, trying to find the words to allow her to at least make an attempt at making Zelda feel better. But no matter how much she tried to search for something to say, she could not find the words. Maybe there was nothing to say. It felt like that, at least, as Ganondorf’s eyes fluttered, Midna almost able to convince herself that she was imagining things, until he let out a little groan and opened his eyes to look up at them.</p>
<p>“Zelda…” he whispered the name.</p>
<p>“Yes?” the word was almost unintelligible as Zelda continued to cry. But even as she continued to clutch the front of his waistcoat with her left hand, she reached up to place her right hand on top of Midna’s, keeping it there on her shoulder, even as her father tried to take her hand, lacking the strength to reach up towards his chest, ultimately making his hand fall back to the floor with a soft thud.</p>
<p>“I… you are going to be a perfect ruler one day.”</p>
<p>Midna brought Zelda a little closer to herself, already prepared for the reaction that felt almost like it should have happened.</p>
<p>But Zelda remained still, only shaking her head, the gesture being so small that Midna was barely able to see it, only noticing that Zelda was really moving when she finally pulled her hand away from her father, the blood having already grown darker as she stood up, pulling Midna up along with her. “No. I am not. Not because of this, at least. If I become a good queen, it will be despite the fact that I killed someone to sit on the throne, not because of it.”</p>
<p>With a horrible wet cough, Ganondorf looked almost like he wanted to roll his eyes at that. “You always were so soft and sure about what you wanted the world to look like, how you wanted to create a world where everyone would be nice to one another, a world without any pain. How do you think you are doing when it comes to that? Is—” he was interrupted by a coughing fit that lasted for such a long time that, by the time he began breathing again, Midna was halfway convinced that he would never get the chance to say another word, “is this part of your plan to build this perfect world, daughter?”</p>
<p>Zelda looked down at him, the tears streaming down her cheeks, making the blood become a little less red, a little less violent as it diluted it. “No,” she whispered, “no, it is not. I only did this, I only did any of this,” she glanced over at Midna, giving her hand a little squeeze as she did so, something that might almost have been able to be mistaken for a smile growing on her lips, “because you would never have stopped.”</p>
<p>“You—you are right about that much.” with another groan, Ganondorf tried to move, but although it was clear that he was doing everything he could to move his hand, he was not even able to reach out towards Zelda now. Still, it did not keep him from finding her gaze, sending her a tiny smile. “I would never have stopped. And neither would you. I can see that now.”</p>
<p>They did not know for how long they sat there, only that, little by little, the sound of Ganondorf fighting to continue to breathe became little more than a whisper, disappearing completely a little while later, the space it had filled in the room instead being taken by the sound of Zelda crying to herself.</p>
<p>There was nothing she could possibly have said to any of that, so, rather than trying and failing, Midna sat still, simply holding Zelda as she turned towards her, letting her cry into her shoulder, the mixture of tears and bloods staining the fabric light red. Around them, she could hear the distant sound of fighting, hear loud footsteps nearing the room, but she was too tired to even imagine herself standing up, much less walking over to pick up the gun to give herself at least a tiny chance of being able to defend them should the people running towards them be loyal to the late king. It didn’t matter, not right then, not as Zelda was crying and she was still struggling to make sense of the fact that she could still see, feel, exist, that she was not the one to lie on the floor in front of them.</p>
<p>But, of course, just because it felt like that to Midna, what had happened had not made the world stop spinning, and moments later, the sound of someone throwing the door open with so much force that it hit the wall behind it, a loud bang almost seeming like it was intended to mirror the sound of the bullet being fired accompanying it, announcing the arrival of a group of people she could not recognise. However, given how most of them had the same tiny, embroidered emblem sitting on their blouses, out where anyone could see it, as Midna had first seen on the maid, she knew that they would not try to kill them. They were not there to avenge the king.</p>
<p>Her heartbeat sounded impossibly loud in the silent room as they both looked over at each other, Midna seeing how the group looked first towards her, then over at the king, before finally coming to look at Zelda, the hint of realisation that she could see in their eyes sending a shiver down Midna’s back. After that, everything happened so quickly that she did not even have a moment to realise what was going on until it had already happened, stealing away  any chances of her being able to put herself between it.</p>
<p>The woman standing towards the front of the crowd, looking every bit like she was the leader, said something, the exact words escaping Midna as the sounds instead became little more than something that distracted her from the fact that they had survived, that she was still here with Zelda. That, however, changed the next moment as two of the rebels, moved forwards, towards her. It was not until they gripped Zelda, pulling her away from Midna, that she realised what was going on.</p>
<p>She made herself get up, ignoring the way her heart was still beating furiously in her chest, the room still bathed in a white light that refused to leave, making it difficult for her to focus. “No, stop!” she yelled, but her voice was drowned out by the sound of the crowd talking. Still, it did not keep her from continuing. “It—she was the one to do this! She saved me—she is with you!” taking a shaky step forwards, Midna could feel the room tilt around her, threatening to send her crashing to the ground. But at least it finally caught the attention of the rebels, their leader looking towards Midna, something uncertain flickering in her eyes as she reached out towards her, offering her the option of leaning against her.</p>
<p>And, from somewhere far away—or maybe it was just a few metres away, Midna wasn’t sure anymore—she almost thought that she could hear Link’s voice, hear how he tried to argue with someone, telling them to let go of the princess.</p>
<p>The next thing Midna knew, she gave up, the black dots growing to take up her entire field of vision. She was not sure how long it lasted for, but the next moment, her knees buckled below her and she fell. Someone yelled her name, an arm reaching out to try to catch her, but Midna did not know if it was able to succeed, nor did she care. All that mattered right then was the fact that she had to make sure that Zelda would be all right, that they would not try to blame her for anything.</p>
<p>The next second, even that ceased to exist, the world disappearing, leaving her to fall down, into the darkness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And with that, the story is almost done! Now, I just have to write the last few chapters and bring this fanfic to a hopefully satisfying end.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every little part of her ached when she woke up again, the pain almost making her wish that she could close her eyes and return to the wonderful state of pure nothingness again. She could not afford to do that. It was clear to her, but it did not keep Midna from allowing herself to wish that it might have been different, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before she had to come to terms with the fact that she would now have to open them and see how the world had ended. Would she wake up to find herself in a dungeon, left with nothing but the message that the rebellion had failed, that the Resistance had not been able to achieve their goals, having instead plunged them into a state of chaos and getting people killed in an attempt at rebelling that would turn out to have been for nothing at all? The soft mattress below her would say otherwise, but she could not allow for herself to grow complacent. There could be plenty of reasons for why the crown prince—king, he would be king now, if that was what had happened—would want to keep her alive rather than granting her a quick, painless death. But, as much as she would have liked to, Midna was not able to deny that her heartrate did not speed up a little as she pictured the world she could live in now if they had won, if they had not moved into the depths of that ship, killing Zelda’s father, for nothing at all.</p>
<p>Zelda.</p>
<p>In the end, that was the reason Midna finally opened her eyes again. She was not able to just lie there, pretending to be unconscious before she would know what had happened to Zelda. As the memories of what had happened the last time she had been with her came back to her, one thing was certain: Midna had to find her, she had to make sure that nothing would happen to her, neither because her brother had won and wanted to show her that she had picked the wrong side to help, or because the rebels who had boarded the ship had been unable to realise the truth behind the connection between her tears and the dead man on the floor. And since she could not do that while lying here, she had to open her eyes. So that was what Midna did.</p>
<p>The first thing she saw was that she was not back in the dungeon. She had already known that, but that was not enough to diminish the sheer awe that filled her as she looked at the room she was in, the way the ceiling rose up, high above her, making it look almost like she could easily have fit Epona in there without having to let the air out of the balloon first.</p>
<p>An infirmary. Midna knew that she was right as she turned her head to the right, looking at the rows and rows of beds around her. Some of them looked like they had been there for a long time, but still, Midna felt her stomach turn as she realised that most of them had clearly been brought in to support all those who had been wounded, little mattresses taking up most of the space on the floor, shoved between the beds to ensure that they would be able to fit in everyone.</p>
<p>“Midna?” the voice came from her left, sounding like the person had not been able to sleep for days, broken and tired. “Are you all right?”</p>
<p>She knew that it could not be Zelda. It did not sound like Zelda, Midna knew that she would not have asked that way, knew that if she had woken up to find Zelda sitting next to her, she would have known, that nothing would have been able to keep her from at least attempting to reach out towards her, asking her if she was all right, or as all right as it was possible to be after having shot your father. Even as her mind fought to push back the horrible, amazing thought, Midna knew that she would not find Zelda sitting next to her.</p>
<p>Maybe she was able to hide the fact that she had really hoped to find someone else sitting there from Link. Midna was not sure; the look on his face could have meant anything as he looked down at her, both a sign that he knew exactly who she had wanted to see, known that, as glad as she was to see that he was really alive, that he was still with her, in that moment, her thoughts were far away, and relief that she was not dead. But no matter what the answer to the question would be, fact was, that Link was there, sitting next to the bed, looking down at her, concern present in every single line on his face as he tilted his head to the side.</p>
<p>Realising that he had just asked her a question, that she had not answered him yet, Midna tried her best to clear her throat. However, even as she coughed, she could not ignore the dry feeling present towards the back of her throat as she forced the words to come despite the pain. “I—Zelda, is she all right?”</p>
<p>A tiny laugh escaped Link, the sound of it making Midna instinctively know that, no matter what, at least Zelda had survived. He would not have laughed, not even this little, tired laugh, if he would bring her bad news, she had to trust that.</p>
<p>“I should have known that you would ask about her.” Link paused, glancing down at her, and for a moment, Midna could not escape the feeling of every last emotion being present on her face, right there for anyone to read and interpret, or at least that was how it felt as Link looked at her. “But, yes, she is all right. Shaken, in shock, and currently unconscious, but she is alive and unharmed—something I am sure you will be able to claim at least a little of the credit for.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“You passed out moments after she had been taking by a branch of the Resistance.” when Midna sent him a confused look, Link shook his head at her. “You know, the person they have regarded as the very symbol for everything they are fighting for passing out, hitting the floor right next to them, was the best distraction you could have given us, the best thing you could have done for Zelda. I am not sure what would have happened, had you not passed out right then—I hope that Zelda would have been all right despite it—but I cannot deny that you were the reason that Raven and Ashei were able to reach you in time to prevent the situation from reaching a point where we would have lost control of it.”</p>
<p>“Ashei… Raven?” the last thing she could remember was the cold feeling of knowing that she had abandoned them, that she had looked back into the tower and known that for Byrne to have been able to follow them in there, it meant that he had been able to make it past the point where Raven had forced her to continue, remaining behind to try to defend the staircase that led to Zelda’s room. It was not until that moment that Midna realised how she had known in her heart while looking back over at Byrne, yelling at Zelda to jump, that they were dead.  But now, she was not so certain anymore. “They—they are alive?”</p>
<p>“Alive, yes. Raven did get shot in the shoulder, but it did not keep him from seizing control over one of the ships. I am not sure how he did it, but, somehow he was able to get to where we were hiding, offering us a chance to fight in the battle.”</p>
<p>“Us?” but already as she asked, Midna knew exactly what the word meant.</p>
<p>It would appear that Link knew as well, for he smiled down at her. “Yes, Midna. Us. Did you think that there was a single person back at the base who would have been able to remain where we were, hiding, when we received the message that there were rumours about how you had been caught and was held in the castle? Because I can assure you that everyone, even Colin, was ready to leave as quickly as possible. I am sure that Uli would also have gone with us, had it not been for Ilia reminding her that someone would have to stay to make sure that the children would be all right, and that no one wanted her to put herself in danger when she would not be able to defend herself properly, the baby and all that.”</p>
<p>“You came all the way over here? Why?”</p>
<p>“Because you were here.” Link said it like it should have been obvious, and maybe it would have been exactly that had Midna just been able to open her eyes without feeling like the room was threatening to tilt her back into unconsciousness, but right then, it felt anything but given that they would have wanted to come directly to where the fights were worst, all because there was a chance that Midna and Zelda would need help. “How would we have been able to stay there when we knew that you might be in need of our help?”</p>
<p>“But how?”</p>
<p>“As I said, we received the news that something was happening at the castle, that there was a chance of it leading to an all-out rebellion. Shad and Renado—I don’t know how, but somehow they were able to get the message that we were plenty of people in the base who would want to fight through to someone who then came to pick up us. And, well, after that, I am sure you are able to guess what happened, that we were then flown to Castle Town, Raven coming to help us get up into the air to let us fight where we were the most useful.”</p>
<p>Midna nodded. It was important; she knew that she should have been unable to think about anything other than the fact that, somehow, miraculously, Link was sitting here next to her. But no matter how many times she tried to force herself not to think about anything but that fact, Zelda continued to return to her thoughts.</p>
<p>She must not have been able to hide it, for Link moved, leaning closer towards her as he shifted to sit on the edge of the chair. “You want to see her, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Can I…?”</p>
<p>“Not right now.” Link brushed his thump across her knuckles. “She is all right, but she is still sleeping. Ashei had to step in, convincing someone that the best thing for her would be to be able to stay in her room until she was able to express a wish to leave herself, and, with how she has only woken up a couple of times to drink and eat what little Ashei was able to convince her to, I doubt she will leave the tower just yet.”</p>
<p>“How long…” Midna coughed once, then twice, trying her best to force the words to come out of her mouth as more than just a murmur, “how long have I been here?”</p>
<p>“Not for very long. A couple of days, or at least that is what I think. Truth to be told, with the chaos that ensured moments after the rumour that the king had died left the ship, reaching the masses and soldiers, everyone trying to find out if it was true or not, where they were standing now, I don’t think I was able to stay truly present, so it might have been a bit longer than just a few days, but not that much longer. Someone would have told me if that had been the case.”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” Midna leant back, finally giving up on trying to maintain the illusion of being in control, instead giving in to the temptation of the pillow under her head. It was thin, the fabric feeling like it should have been washed a long time ago, but right then, it felt more wonderful than any other thing she could ever have imagined, allowing her to just relax, to simply be for a moment. Later, she would have to convince someone to let her see Zelda, beg anyone she would have to talk to to be able to be granted such a privilege to allow her to once more visit her tower, but for now, she doubted that she would have been able to do as much as standing up, instantly bringing an end to any plans of jumping out of the bed, sprinting out of the infirmary to make her way back to the tower on her own that would otherwise have taken up her thoughts. Instead, she held onto Link’s hand, at once unable to imagine what would happen if he left, leaving her all alone in there. “Link? I will be able to visit her, won’t I? Later, I will be allowed to see her. Right?”</p>
<p>He was almost able to hide the fact that he hesitated before smiling down at her. “Yes,” Link promised, “later. Of course you will.”</p>
<p>It was not the promise she had wanted, but it was all she could have asked for right then. So, unable to fight against the pull of it anymore, Midna let go of him and fell asleep once more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Midna woke up again, she felt marginally better than before. The change was not much, but it was enough for her to finally be aware of her surroundings, noticing how the infirmary was not nearly as quiet as it had been before now that everyone were trying to enter, looking for their loved ones. More than once, Midna saw someone hold up a photograph, pleading with a nurse who looked ready to fall asleep where she stood to please tell her that her wife was in there. Some of them broke down, while others were lead over towards one of the beds, crying from relief. Midna tried not to think about it, not when she was left to herself, unable to leave her bed and go find Zelda. It was not for a lack of trying, though, but the only time Midna had been able to make it more than a few metres away from her bed without feeling like her legs would give up on her, there had been a nurse at her side within a minute, reaching out to stop her. Midna had wanted to continue, but the sight of the embroidered symbol, the way the nurse did not have to hide the fact that she had tried her best to help them anymore, kept her from being able to refuse her help, unable to do anything other than letting her lead her back over to her bed, mumbling a quiet thankyou to her.</p>
<p>She spent days like that, only waking up for a few hours at a time, barely able to keep track of the time. Really, the only reason she even knew that it was a matter of days passing rather than seconds between each of the times she would open her eyes, was that she would always wake up to find someone new sitting next to her. The first time, it had been Link, but both Ilia, Cremia, accompanied by Anju and Kafei, Renado, Ashei, and even Uli—her presence confirming what Midna already knew, that enough time had passed for her to arrive at the castle—followed soon after.</p>
<p>As grateful as Midna was each time she woke up to find another person sitting next to her, another name she would not have to worry about having to let go of if they had died, she was still barely able to remain awake for more than a few hours each time, their conversations always coming to a sudden end long before she would have liked for it to happen, as Midna found herself unable to remain awake. But no matter how many times she tried to apologise to the person having come to visit her, they all reacted the same way, smiling down at her like she was unable to understand what was going on as they assured her that everything would be all right, that she could rest now. None of them understood how she did not want to rest, that she wanted to leave the infirmary to go out and find Zelda. The closest she had been able to get to figuring out exactly how Zelda was doing was when Ashei had told her about the nightmares, how they had had to do something to keep Zelda from being able to move around in her sleep as she had thrown herself onto the floor a couple of times.</p>
<p>But no matter how many times Midna tried to insist that she would have to see her, the answer was always the same: that it would have to wait until she was feeling better. She wanted to argue with them, but before she was able to convince them to let her leave, Midna always found herself with no other choice than to fall asleep, the weight of her eyelids growing heavier and heavier.</p>
<p>The days passed by in a blur, Midna feeling just a little better each time she woke up. But still, she was not able to leave the bed, not able to head out and find Zelda. It was infuriating that even when the castle had been the scene of an all-out rebellion, she had still been able to fight her way through the hallways, reaching Zelda, but now, she was unable to do anything other than staying right where she was, lying in the bed and waiting for her body to realise that she was all right, that she was unharmed, alive, and that, really, she had no reason to feel so tired. Seeing Zelda was the only thing she was able to focus on during those days. Or, that was, it was all she was able to focus on until that suddenly was not the case anymore.</p>
<p>At first, Midna could not see what the difference was. She was lying in the exact same bed, staring up at the exact same spot on the ceiling as she had always done. And yet, there was something indescribable about the room, a feeling that the entire world had just shifted, changed around her. She was aware of what it must mean, whom she would find in the chair by her bedside, already before she had turned around to look over at him, but that was still not enough to keep the tears from making her eyes sting, the words becoming stuck in her throat, leaving Midna unable to do anything other than simply staring at him.</p>
<p>Rusl. He was there.</p>
<p>He looked tired, more tired than she had ever seen him, but he was there, sitting right next to her bed. He was alive.</p>
<p>It was not until then, until she was finally able to look up at him and know that Ashei had been right, that Midna realised how she had always regarded the idea that he might have been able to escape, that the Resistance would have helped him, as a lie, something said by one doomed person to another to give them a little bit of hope in an otherwise hopeless situation. But he was really there. After everything, after how Midna and Zelda had gone to the castle, after they had made it through the battles that had ensued after the news of her presence, of the idea of the Twilight Princess having survived, got out, he was here, alive and well.</p>
<p>Rusl was the first to say something. Moving closer to her, looking almost like he wanted to take her hand to assure her that he was not just a spirit, he tilted his head to the side. “Hi.”</p>
<p>“How?” Midna whispered. It was all she could think of. More than anything, Midna wished to say anything but that, to explain to Rusl how much time they had spent back at the base, unable to do anything, suddenly being forced to realise just how much Rusl had done for them all those years, how he was the reason they had been able to do so much, that they were struggling now because he had always been the first among them to walk in front of everyone else, protecting them from harm and making sure that they would not turn around and flee. But all that made it out of her mouth was that single word.</p>
<p>It seemed that Rusl was able to tell how she would have said so much more if she had only been able to, for he did not look annoyed at all, instead simply looking down at her, a sparkle in his eyes. “How am I still alive, you mean?” he said, finishing the question for her. When she nodded, barely able to keep back the tears that pressed against her wish not to seem weak, not to have everything she had fought so hard to achieve disappear just because she was not able to control her emotions, Rusl took her hand. “Midna, I—I am sure that you already know this, but there are so many things I could not tell you for the longest time. So many things that I knew I should have told you, especially when I began to suspect the true reason for why you had been able to arrive to the village with Link when you did, in a ship decorated with the crest of the Twili royal family no less. But,” he sent her a tiny smile, “I am sure that there is no need for me to tell you that much anymore, is there?”</p>
<p>“You… you are with the Resistance?” Midna spoke slowly, but by the time she reached the end of the sentence, she already knew that she had guessed correctly. It was the only explanation that would be enough to explain everything that had happened.</p>
<p>Rusl nodded. “I am. I became a part of the Resistance a couple of years before… before the destruction of Ordon Village.”</p>
<p>The connection was easy to make now that Rusl had practically given her the answer, but Midna still hesitated before asking, wanting it to not be the case. “That was why the village was destroyed, was it not?”</p>
<p>“It was.” Rusl looked away, for a moment seeming far older than he really was. “I—I know that it is my fault that the village disappeared, that so many of my neighbours died that day. But… Farore, I know that it will make me sound horrible, but, even if I got the chance to change things, to do something different, I still would not have done it. I would have been more careful, no doubt about it, but I would not have changed anything.”</p>
<p>The memory of how Zelda had tried to fight to make Zant let go of her, the way she had sprinted up the stairs to get to her room in time flashed before her eyes as Midna shook her head. “No. I can understand it. I feel the exact same way.”</p>
<p>For the longest time, Rusl simply looked at her, an expressionless look in his eyes, almost like he was trying to figure out how to react, if she truly meant what she said. And then he nodded his head, the gesture slow at first, but soon becoming more energetic. “I can see that now.” the chair produced a loud, scratching sound as he moved it across the floor, moving to sit closer to her, but right then, Midna almost did not notice it. The only thing that mattered was that Rusl was right there, that he was alive, currently looking down at her, hesitating for a minute before speaking. “Midna, I… although I would not say that I ever doubted you, I must admit that this…” he gestured towards the room around them, none of them having to ask to know that he referred to far more than just that, far more than just Hyrule, “I would not have expected for all of this to happen. Not yet at least.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean by ’yet’?” Midna tried to smile, the grimace making her feel like her face was going to split in half. “Are you telling me that you were always expecting for me to try to overthrow the king, that all of those years, you knew that I was… well, who I am, and you were just waiting for me to figure it out on my own?”</p>
<p>She had been too harsh; Midna could see that the moment Rusl’s gaze flickered.</p>
<p>However, before she got the chance to apologise, to try to explain to him that she had not meant to sound so cold, Rusl held up a hand to silence her. “No, you are right. I should have known that I would be able to talk with you about this. I suppose I always knew that you would be the spark to ignite everything in the end. I just had not dared to hope that you would find out about it as well.” with a long sigh, Rusl moved a little on the chair. While he tried, he was not able to hide the way he squeezed his eyes shut as he placed a little bit of weight on his left ankle, trying to keep back a pained sound, but as he opened his eyes again, the only thing Midna could see reflected in them was joy. “To tell you the truth, during all the years where I was working with the Resistance, I had not dared to even imagine that I would live to see a world where I would be able to say what I wanted to and live without having to fear a king finding out about it.”</p>
<p>“Neither did I,” Midna mumbled, “I was so sure that you were dead. We all were.” and just like that, from one second to the next, she felt the walls come down, the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as she was no longer able to fight to keep them back. “We—I was there at your funeral, we all cried, we were all so sure that you were really dead! How could you do that to us, why did you not at least attempt to contact us? Even if you could not afford to risk anyone finding out about how you had survived, you could at least have told Uli that you were still alive!”</p>
<p>“I know.” there was no attempt at denying that, they both knew that as Rusl lowered his shoulder, looking away from her. “Trust me, I know that I should have told you. But—and I know that it is not an excuse—when I was finally saved, when Raven organised it so that the ship that was supposed to take me to Lurelin Village disappeared before it reached its destination, I was told that, no matter how much I wanted to contact you, the only reason I was still alive, the only reason they had been able to save so many of those who were caught by the king, was that they could pretend that they had died in a crash. I know that it is not good enough, and please believe me when I say that I have already realised that I should have done more, tried to get some kind of message through, but, right then, I was not exactly in a position to break the rules, not when I knew how much they had risked to rescue me.”</p>
<p>He wanted for her to understand. That much was clear. And, in a way, Midna supposed that she would not be able to claim that she did not understand the thoughts that had formed the fundament for the decision not to tell them. But it did not change the fact that everything in her was at once busy grieving for the person she had said goodbye to back when they had finally had to leave the hangar, leaving the lantern behind, and also feeling like it might all be a dream, something she could lose again in a moment.</p>
<p>In the end, she avoided having to answer the question that had been so clear when Rusl had looked at her, instead changing the subject. “And what about Uli? I assume that you must already have gone to see her and Colin? What did they say to…” she pointed towards Rusl, “all of this?”</p>
<p>A strange combination of emotions flickered across Rusl’s face, making him open his mouth once before closing it again. With a sound that sounded like it was located somewhere between joy and sheer apathy, he looked down at the ground. “I actually did not get much of a chance to talk with them. Not after they had got the chance to fully realise that I had lied, that I was still alive, at least. You see, Uli went into labour a couple of days ago. We have a little girl now.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>The baby, they had had the baby. Midna was not sure why, but back at the base, even though she had known that Uli would give birth one day, it had always seemed almost unreal to think about the fact that there might one day run a child around inside the base who had never known anything other than the life that consisted of winters where everyone worried about the food supply, summers where they tried their best to plan ahead. The idea that there might come a new life into the base, it simply had not made sense to her. And in the end, it would appear that she had been correct all this time. The baby, the girl, she would not have to grow up inside the fortress. Midna might not know what their lives would look like now, but she doubted that there was any way where it would not be an improvement when compared to the years they had hid inside the mountain.</p>
<p>Finally, she managed to find a couple of words that seemed fitting for the occasion. “Congratulations. I am happy for you two.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” as Rusl sent her a smile, the gesture holding a bit of sincerity now, Midna knew that, maybe, just maybe, life would be able to continue. Or at least it would for Rusl and his family. However, she did not get much of a chance to lose herself to the dark thoughts, not as Rusl pushed himself off the chair, gripping the side of her bed to remain upright, clearly doing his best not to place any weight on his injured ankle when he looked down at her. “I have heard a lot about you during these last couple of days. How you arrived here with Zelda, only to find that Byrne had told Zant about how Zelda had been the one to willingly leave the royal ship, making her way onto the Shadow specifically to escape from the castle and the fate that would have awaited her there.”</p>
<p>Midna made a noncommittal sound, hoping that Rusl would simply interpret it as the answer he wanted to get. What did he want from her? She could hear from the way he tried his best to make it seem like just another conversation that Rusl was hoping for her to tell him something, to open up and begin to explain about the subject he did not want to mention, and maybe it was just another effect of how she had spent the last several days lying in her bed, barely able to move, but she could not figure out what it was. Deciding that, if Rusl wanted to make her tell him something, he would have to ask her, Midna pushed all thoughts away from her, instead waiting for Rusl to continue.</p>
<p>Which was exactly what he did, the way his smile faltered for a moment letting her know that she had been right about how he had hoped that it would not be necessary for him to ask. But, finally, with feigned nonchalance, he spoke. “Zelda, huh? I hear that you are trying to convince the nurses to let you see her.”</p>
<p>“Yes?” Midna hated how much it sounded like a question, her voice shaking slightly. They were moving towards dangerous territory, she could feel it, both in the way she began to close off, preparing herself for the moment where she would have to carefully hide her reaction, the way that moment might arrive the next second. “I did ask them when I could go to see, but no one was able to just give me an actual answer. They always said something about how I might be able to go see her when I was feeling better, that she was resting and was all right, completely unharmed, just very tired, but—” her voice broke, Midna forcing herself to push through it. She could not stop now, not when she was so close to finally getting answers, “I—I know that they do not have any reason to lie to me about that, but…”</p>
<p>“You want to see for yourself that she is really all right.” Rusl finished the sentence for her. When Midna lifted an eyebrow, he chuckled faintly. “You are not the only one who had to spend days not knowing whether your loved ones were really safe after all. Do you have any idea about how many times I tried to ask the other members of the Resistance about whether or not they had received any news about my family, if they were really sure that Ganondorf had not found out about the base and sent an airship to catch them? The day Shad and Renado were able to get a message through, telling us that they had been saved by you and brought back to a base in a mountain—I know that it is horrible, that so many people died during the destruction of Kakariko Village, but I cannot claim that I was not relieved to hear that Uli and Colin were still safe. Speaking of which, I have something I need to do. Come.”</p>
<p>“What?” the words did not make sense, not to her. Midna knew what it must mean, she was able to tell that she was not misunderstanding anything, that Rusl really was telling her exactly what she thought he was, but that did not change the fact that it felt like she had misheard him.</p>
<p>But, somehow, it seemed that that was not the case, as Rusl simply continued to smile at her, gesturing for her to take his hand. “You want to see Zelda, don’t you?” Midna barely had time to nod, the movement small and apprehensive, before he added. “And the only thing that is keeping you from being able to do that is the fact that the nurse is here and that she does not want to let you leave until she is absolutely certain that you are all right, is that not correct as well?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but—”</p>
<p>“So is it not obvious what you will have to do?” Rusl moved, a little of the same youthfulness she had seen each time he had leapt off the side of the ship coming back to his movements. “You have to see her. I know that. To be honest, I am sure that you would be doing a lot better if you were just certain that she was really all right, and maybe the same is the case for her. Therefore, we have to figure out a way to get you to her, and, as luck would have it, I have just been able to convince the nurse who was looking after you that I would be able to convince you not to do anything stupid, making her accept that explanation without ever having to tell just what I viewed as being something that could be described with such a word.”</p>
<p>With how many times she had tried to argue with the nurses, insisting that she was all right, Midna doubted that it was only that that had been the reason for how easy it had been for Rusl to buy her this chance, though she did not tell him that much. He had really done this, not only survived and gone to talk with her despite surely knowing that it would require a great deal of luck for her not to lash out at him—or, at least, that it would have required that much not that long ago—he was now also offering her this, helping her to defy the nurses’ orders and see Zelda.</p>
<p>“I—” planting her hands on the mattress below her, Midna was able to sit up, forcing herself to bite back a little groan as her muscles protested against having to be used after so long. Although she doubted it, she was not able to completely dismiss the fear of Rusl changing his mind, realising that perhaps there had been a reason for why the nurses had wanted to keep her in the infirmary for a little while longer, so she did not try to speak until she was certain that she would be able to do so without showing any signs of pain, “how can I ever thank you for this?”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to. All I ask of you is that you will at least try to understand my reasons for not being able to contact you during all that time. I am not asking for you to forgive me, but just… try to understand.” the next second, Rusl looked at a point behind her, his eyes widening as he helped her stand up, halfway pushing her, halfway dragging her towards the doors leading out into the hallway. “Go!” he whispered. “The nurses are coming back soon! Go, go now!”</p>
<p>He did not have to say that twice. Although her legs still felt like they had forgot how to move, each step threatening to send her falling to the ground, Midna left the infirmary in a couple of long steps, soon sprinting through the hallways, trying her best to picture where in the castle she would be, using every little thing she had learnt about how to navigate through a building without being able to catch a glimpse of the world outside from the years she had spent in the base. But, as excited as the thought of finally being able to see Zelda made her, the more Midna saw of the castle—the torn carpets, the places where small holes and red blotches told her exactly what had happened before Midna even got the chance to look towards the people who were crowding around it, some of them crying while others just looked on, an empty look in their eyes—the more she knew that she was not the only one who had found herself within centimetres of death. Only, there were people who had not been saved, times where Zelda had not been able to take their gun from them and pushing them backwards in one, smooth motion, turning the weapon against her father.</p>
<p>However, although Midna tried her best to convince herself that she was just imagining things, it did not take long before she was forced to admit that some of the people walking around the castle, a few of them still in their uniforms, but most of them looking like they had lived in the town for their entire lives, having simply gone to the castle to see what had happened, looked almost familiar, without her being able to recall where she might have seen them before.</p>
<p>It took a moment before she realised why, but when Midna had first spotted the little emblem, the piece of fabric hanging around a young woman’s neck, the woman instantly curtseying as she noticed Midna looking at her, it felt almost like she was unable to take a single step without noticing the little emblems, all the shadows, around her.</p>
<p>Any other day, Midna might have had it in her to feel thankful, to try to see if there was anyone there who knew what had happened to the maid from Hateno Village, but already by the time she had tried to walk over to a woman holding a little child, both of them wearing the emblem, only to find herself unable to say anything, Midna had to admit that she could not do it. She was not a ruler. Maybe she was a princess, but she had not been raised as one. Really, the closer she got to the tower, the more familiar her surroundings became, the more it took for Midna to keep herself from sprinting, attempting to escape from it all.</p>
<p>Turning around a corner, Midna reached a part of the castle that was significantly quieter than the rest, almost empty. That was, Midna thought that it was close to being empty, but as she began to move forwards, already seeing the hallway where Raven had yelled at her to continue without him and Ashei, two women she had not even noticed stepped out from the shadows, pointing the tip of their spears at her, the sheer shock of finding herself face to face with a threat of violence again, making Midna take an involuntary step back.</p>
<p>“The princess—I just want to see the princess.” it sounded too much like an excuse, the exact thing someone who did not have any right to ask that much of them would say.</p>
<p>Midna really was sure that they would ask her to leave, that she would not be able to continue, but then one of the soldiers dropped her spear, the weapon clattering against the floor as she sank down into a deep curtsey, the other following right behind her.</p>
<p>“Forgive us, we did not recognise you at first,” the woman on the right said, lifting her head up a little, still not rising, “of course you can see the princess. In fact, she has specifically asked us to make sure that the moment the nurses would allow you to leave, we would ask you if you wanted to see her and accompany you to her. Here.” finally, she stood back up again, making Midna feel a little less awkward, though that relief soon disappeared as she took her hand, the other guard following suit, the two of them walking along with her, making it clear that they were prepared to protect her as they moved into the tower.</p>
<p>As much as Midna wanted to tell them that she was perfectly capable of walking up the staircase on her own, she remained quiet. It was not worth risking her chances of finally being able to see Zelda just to escape from a few seconds of embarrassment, not when all it would take for the guards to find out about the fact that she really had not actually been given permission by the nurses to leave the infirmary would be for the two stop helping her, stop almost lifting her up the stairs, and instead see how she would have struggled on her own.</p>
<p>It did not keep her from having to fight to hide her relief as they left her the moment they reached the door at the end of the stairs. Getting to see Zelda was wonderful enough as it was, but it would have been a lie if she had tried to claim that she would not prefer for them to be left alone, for everything she wanted to—had to—tell her to remain between them.</p>
<p>She pushed open the door and stepped into the room.</p>
<p>Just as she had been promised, Midna was not able to spot any signs of Zelda having been injured, at least not any injuries she would be able to spot just by looking at her. She should have trusted them, she should have trusted Link when he had first told her, believing Raven and Ashei when they had assured her that they had been able to explain to the rebels who had shown up that Zelda had really been the one to do what they had dreamt about doing for so many years, but it was not until she found herself in the same room as Zelda again that Midna was truly able to breathe freely without the fear sitting as a weight on top of her chest.</p>
<p>Zelda was lying in her bed. Someone must have changed the bedsheet, for although most of the castle still showed signs of the battle that had spread to cover most of the structure itself as well as the surrounding area, the battles that Raven was still receiving messages about from all corners of the kingdoms, Midna could not see a single trace of how they had ripped the bedsheet apart to make the rope as she looked around the room. Granted, she was not able to look all that closely, not with how her gaze seemed to be pulled back towards Zelda.</p>
<p>As she lay there in her bed, she looked so much smaller than how Midna remembered her, looking more like the princess her family had insisted that she was rather than the queen she had proved herself to be.</p>
<p>And then Zelda moved, turning her head to the side to look directly at Midna. With a little smile that did not do much to hide the fact that she looked exhausted, almost like she had not been able to sleep for several years, Zelda looked over at her, a little chuckle leaving her as she spoke. “Hi. I see that you were finally allowed to leave the infirmary. What did it take for you to convince the nurses that you would be able to not pass out in the corridor?”</p>
<p>“A friend who was able to make it seem like he was someone you could trust to keep me from seeing you.” Midna tried to laugh but as she moved through the room, caught between the wish to sprint over to Zelda, to crouch down next to her, move her hair out of her face, to make sure that she was all right, that she was not simply imagining things, seeing what she wanted to see, and the fact that, if all of this was really nothing but a fantasy, Midna did not want for it to end.</p>
<p>Zelda’s smile grew a bit wider, a bit more sincere. “Ah. Of course, I should have known better than to think that you would ever be able to obey such a thing as orders from the people who are without a doubt those who are most fit to tell you when you are able to leave your bed.”</p>
<p>There was so little distance between them, between Midna and the moment when she would have to find out if this was real, and yet, she found the strength to smile down at her. “You are not angry about that, are you?”</p>
<p>“I haven’t decided yet. But since you are here right now and technically have not yet reached a point where the nurses would have allowed you to leave you bed, maybe it would be best if I just shared mine with you.” already before she had finished the sentence, Zelda had pushed herself to the side, the invitation being obvious from the way she left one half of her bed empty for Midna, pushing a few of the blankets aside.</p>
<p>She wanted to thank her for the offer. Midna really did want to do exactly that, to just let go of everything and let herself sit down, letting Zelda throw the blanket that looked like it would be as soft as a cloud over her. But, each time she thought that she had found the courage to do exactly that, to just give in to the feeling that drew her forwards, the memory of how she had struggled the last time she had been in a similar location came back, screaming loudly and unyieldingly.</p>
<p>“Zelda, I—”</p>
<p>The reaction was obvious even as Zelda tried to hide it. Or maybe it was just a matter of Midna having come to know exactly what it meant as Zelda’s face become more calm, looking more and more like she was preparing herself to speak to a crowd, every little line and wrinkle there had been around her eyes, her mouth, and between her eyes becoming smother as she shook her head. “Just… forget it; I was just… forget it.” Zelda did not look at her as she spoke. Instead she kept glancing towards the window, a tiny smile breaking the façade a little.</p>
<p>This. This was where Zelda had tried to hold onto her, saying the words in a rush of fear and adrenaline, Midna finding herself in a situation where she knew that it would not be right, that she could not ask that much of any of them, to actually begin to imagine what could be if they just survived. But that had been back then, back when Ganondorf had still been alive. Now, while Midna was not nearly naïve enough to think that the battles would end soon, that killing the king would be enough to completely bring an end to the systems that had formed over the years, governing how things were between the kingdoms, things were different. She had time. She had peace.</p>
<p>So even as her heart beat so hard in her chest that Midna was sure that Zelda was able to hear it, she still felt how a smile formed on her face. “No, I am sorry, I was just thinking about something else. If the offer still stands, then I would like to say yes.”</p>
<p>Zelda almost looked like she would be able to compete with the sun as she smiled up at her. “The offer will always stand. At least for you.”</p>
<p>The bed was large, so wide that they would easily have been able to both lie there comfortably and still have at least ten centimetres between them. But despite that, already a moment after Midna had lowered herself down to lie next to Zelda, she found that they were lying so close to each other that she doubted she would be able to leave the bed anytime soon. But then again, there was no reason for her to want to do that, not as Zelda moved towards her, placing her head in the little dip between Midna’s shoulder and the space beneath her collarbone, craning her neck to look up at her.</p>
<p>She was all right. Midna had to convince herself that she really was all right, that this was not just a stolen moment that would come to an end within mere minutes. But even as she tried to focus on nothing but the sparkle in Zelda’s eyes, Midna was not able to make the memories disappear. And if she, with all the years of pushing things away, forcing the unpleasant memories to leave her, denying them their rightful spot in her mind, was not able to succeed, Midna knew that Zelda would have no way of being able to not continue to picture those last few minutes they had spent aboard the king’s battleship.</p>
<p>Already, she could feel how the seconds passed, her heartbeat marking another one of their limited moments together, bringing it all to an end much quicker than it felt like it was right of the universe to do.</p>
<p>“Zelda…” Midna whispered her name, at once afraid that even the slightest sound would make everything fall apart, that she would disturb the fragile peace that had come to rest, not only in Castle Town, but in their minds as well, “are you…” she could not ask her if she was all right, not after she had just shot her own father, but even as Midna tried to find something else to say, the truth was that there was no good way to ask her question, leaving her with no option but to continue, “do you think that you will be all right?”</p>
<p>The seconds passed, Zelda remaining silent. Midna should have expected for her not to want to talk about it, not so soon after it had happened.</p>
<p>However, just as Midna was about to make another attempt at forcing herself to think about something else, Zelda moved a little, breathing in deeply. “It… it was the right thing to do. I only did what was right.”</p>
<p>It was clear that she was not trying to convince Midna. This, the way Zelda blinked a little faster, unable to meet her gaze, it was all signs that Zelda was not trying to persuade Midna not to think less of her. No, she was trying to convince herself that she had done what was right, that she had been in a position where she had had to choose between her heart and the man who, despite everything he might have done, was still her father, and made the correct decision.</p>
<p>She had no way of knowing what it felt like, so, as Midna continued, she already knew that no attempts at keeping her voice soft would ever make things all right. But she had to try, and so, that was what she did. “Maybe. But that does not mean that it can’t still hurt.”</p>
<p>“Hmm…” Zelda fell silent for a moment, but then the words also seemed to come from somewhere deep down, pushing through, making her unable to stop herself from continuing, “did you know that they found Zant yesterday?”</p>
<p>“No, I didn’t. Last thing I heard, they were trying to search for him close to the border to Holodrum.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that was also what the guards told me the last time I was able to convince them to tell me what was going on. But apparently he had thought that he would be able to turn around, going against the orders of the soldiers who had dragged him onto the ship when the battles began, all because he wanted to be able to finish what our father had started, taking back the kingdom.”</p>
<p>“And how do you feel about that? That he was caught, I mean?” Midna pulled Zelda a little closer to her, each movement slower than the last one. The worst thing she could possible do now was to push Zelda, bringing the moment to an early end. Of course, it would happen sooner or later, but for now, she would enjoy the seconds they had together.</p>
<p>Rather than shoving her away, however, telling her that the last thing she needed now was for someone who did not understand to try to overstep her boundaries, Zelda was quick to bury face in Midna’s hair, her next words being slightly muffled. “I… I suppose that I should feel relieved. After all, Zant would be the biggest threat to the peace we might be able to create once all of this is over. But…”</p>
<p>“You are sad because he is your brother, and no matter what, you grew up with him?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Zelda paused for a moment, whispering the words to herself, almost like she wanted to taste them. “Yes, I suppose it is something like that.”</p>
<p>The silence lowered itself onto them, but for once, it was not unpleasant. Midna doubted it would ever have been able to be as she lay there knowing that both she and Zelda were all right, that nothing bad could happen now, not as Zelda threw her arm over her, shifting to lie a bit closer to her face, looking up at her.</p>
<p>“Do you believe in it?” Zelda’s eyes were wide, looking directly into her soul.</p>
<p>“Believe in what?”</p>
<p>“That we might be able to create peace? That this—all the people who have died during these days and years, all the lives that were destroyed for this victory—that it has truly changed everything?”</p>
<p>Midna did not answer immediately. Truth to be told, she was not sure what her answer to the question would have been the first moment after Zelda fell silent. It was such an alluring idea, to think that their lives would mean something, that they would be known as more than just the princesses who became the spark that ignited what was beginning to look almost like a war if the small snippets of conversations Midna had been able to overhear were true. But was it something that Midna could believe in, was it something she could think of as she looked at Zelda and assure her that she was still able to hope for it to become true? She was not that sure about that.</p>
<p>And then, just as she was about to try to avoid having to say anything, already knowing that a vague answer would be the exact same as a no, Midna met Zelda’s gaze, and in that moment, she knew exactly what her answer would be. She was someone. There was no need to wait to see if she would become the very last member of the Twili royal family or if she would become the Twilight Princess; she was already someone.</p>
<p>So as Midna reached out, taking Zelda’s hands, bringing it up to rest between them, she knew what she wanted to say. “I don’t know yet. But I hope that we will be able to do it. I want to create peace, and I want to do it with you.”</p>
<p>It looked almost like Zelda was going to cry as she nodded back at her, giving her hand a little squeeze. “So do I.”</p>
<p>After that, neither of them said anything, Midna for once completely content to just lie there, taking in the fact that she could hear Zelda breathe, could feel her heart rate resonate in her chest. Each little movement, all the times Zelda turned to the side a bit to look at her, almost opening her mouth as if she wanted to speak, but closing it again before she got the chance to do so, Midna could hear how the bedsheets rustled around them, trying to adapt to the way Zelda continued to move, little, rapid movements. It seemed almost like Zelda was afraid that she might not be able to move again if she stopped. If Midna had been able to say something to ease that fear, to look at Zelda and promise her that she would never let that happen, she would have done it in a heartbeat, but she already knew that this was not something she could help with.</p>
<p>At last, Zelda found rest, pushing herself up a bit, planting her hands against the mattress, allowing her to look down at Midna as she turned around.</p>
<p>“Enjoying being able to feel taller than me for once?” Midna commented, but there was none of the usual teasing tone to the quip, not as Midna looked into Zelda’s eyes.</p>
<p>“Midna, I…” Zelda breathed out, in. And then, seemingly deciding to just leap from safety and into the air, she hurried to add, “may I kiss you?”</p>
<p>It had been more than just a combination of fear and adrenaline after all. The realisation felt almost muffled by the much louder sense of relief, that now she would not have to figure out how to handle the fact that she knew how everything had changed that night back in Clock Town. Really, there was only one answer Midna could ever have said in response to that question, only one thing appearing in her mind as she lay there, looking up at Zelda.</p>
<p>“I was about to ask you about the same thing.”</p>
<p>The sound of Zelda laughing almost made the shadow of everything that had happened over the last weeks lift from the room, making the sun shine just a little bit brighter, casting a gentle glow at Zelda, bathing Midna in her shadow as she leant down to finally press a kiss against her lips.</p>
<p>She wanted to cling to that moment. As everything else disappeared around her, leaving only the fact that she was here, kissing Zelda, that she was not dreaming, behind, Midna knew that she wanted to remember every little part of this moment for the rest of her life no matter how much time that might end up becoming. The way Zelda’s hair fell into her face, Zelda breaking away to laugh, showing the stray locks of hair behind her shoulders before returning to the kiss, the way the bed beneath her almost seemed to envelop them as Zelda reached out to bring both of them closer to one another, the few millimetres of air that had been between them suddenly feeling like a distance that was far too wide. She wanted to remember it all, wanted to be able to recall every last part of it when it would all be over again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And with that, the fight itself is over, though Midna still has much to do before she will be able to truly enjoy the peace she has never experienced before in her life.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world should have stopped allowing anything else to happen. As Midna woke up the next day to see the sun peeking through the curtains, making the dust in the air sparkle, that was all she was able to think, that it was not right that she would have to go outside again, making it so that she had to leave Zelda.</p>
<p>But no matter how many times Midna might have whispered just that to Zelda as she reached out, wrapping her arms around her, the world did indeed continue. The visit from one of the maids who had decided to stay, blushing madly as Midna hurried to jump out of the bed, almost falling over, having momentarily forgot everything about the reason for why she had been in Zelda’s bed in the first place, was enough to confirm that.</p>
<p>Looking directly down at the floor, the emblem that was not hidden by her pinafore the way it had been for the maid Midna had met back in Hateno Village but instead sitting proudly on her dress, right where everyone could see it, meeting Midna’s gaze rather than the woman herself, she had mumbled something about how the Resistance would like to ask for the two of them to allow them gather to discuss what they could do to secure the future of both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm.</p>
<p>That, the fact that the maid had not hesitated before referring to it as two kingdoms rather than simply Hyrule, was the reason for why Midna did not have to think twice to agree, both with the idea itself, but also as the maid requested for them to also be present during the meeting.</p>
<p>“You know what this means, don’t you?” Zelda asked as she tried to smooth out the creases in her dress before giving up.</p>
<p>“We will try to work together to form a new kind of peace?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” but although Zelda nodded, everything about the way she looked out of the window, almost like she was hoping that she would find the answer about what they should do next written in the clouds out there, said something else. “We might be able to create peace. But,” she turned around, looking directly back at Midna as she shook her head, “we might also make everything worse. If this—if this fails, I don’t know what will happen.”</p>
<p>Midna could answer that question for her. If they failed to figure out a way to re-establish the Twilight Realm, if they went to the meeting and sat still, letting others decide for them, there was a risk that all of this would repeat, that they would see the Twilight Realm rise only to be pushed back down again. The thought was enough to make her shudder, the fact that, despite how she might have been able to lie to both herself and Zelda, Midna knew that it would not be enough to change what would happen if they wasted this chance.</p>
<p>But still. That should only mean that they would have to attend the meeting fully prepared to fight for the Twilight Realm, so although she felt everything but brave in that moment, Midna pushed her shoulders back and forced herself not to seem nervous. “Well, in that case, I suppose that I should just be thankful for the fact that you will be there as well.”</p>
<p>When Zelda did not answer, instead looking down at the floor, her mouth settling into an uneasy line that was not at all able to hide the fact that, despite her usual optimism, she was scared, Midna crossed the distance between them, slinging her arms around her to pull her in for a kiss. “Hey, you are going to be fantastic,” Midna whispered, keeping her head so close to Zelda’s that their noses almost touched, “I know you are going to be amazing. As long as I know that we fight for the same thing, everything is going to be all right.”</p>
<p>And maybe Zelda could hear that Midna was not just trying to repeat what she had told her so many times, that she actually believed in what she was saying, for she looked up at her, a smile tucking at her lips, making the frown disappear a little. “In that case, we should be fine.”</p>
<p>Though Midna did not answer, she nodded at her, hoping that they would be right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Midna entered the room, Zelda walking next to her, wearing a mask of complete calmness, everyone in the room rose from their seats to instead stand next to their chairs. The walk through the room to the two chairs that had been left vacant at the end of the table felt like it lasted for a far longer time than what it really should have done, Midna walking past so many smiling faces, some of them being people she was able to recognise, but so many of them also being people she had never seen before in her life. But even if Midna did not know the names of any other people in the room, as she walked past a tall woman, her uniform letting them know that she was a captain, who had bandages covering most of her arms, little scratches still peeking through, Midna did not have to ask anyone to know that she must be Nabooru, the one Raven had claimed had been responsible for trying to keep the civilians from being able to place themselves directly in the line of fire by entering the hangar.</p>
<p>Finally, they reached the end of the table where Ashei was sitting in the chair directly to the right of the seat Zelda claimed, leaving Midna to take the chair at the end of the table, sitting next to Raven. She sat down, forcing herself to remain calm, not to begin to breathe faster even though the situation felt everything but safe considering the amount of people who were all looking towards her, making it seem almost like they were waiting for her to say something, waiting for Midna to rise and tell them that she had figured it all out, that she knew what they would have to do to create peace. If that was what they were expecting, Midna did not know how they would react once it would become so clear that she had no idea about what they would have to do that they would no longer be able to ignore it, leaving them with no choice but to realise that, just because they had idolised her, letting Midna and her past become the symbol of the rebellion, she still had no idea about how they should try to create a better world for everyone.</p>
<p>Midna could not have been more grateful when Nabooru finally rose, saving her from being put in a position where it would appear that they were all waiting for her to begin speaking.</p>
<p>“Now that we are all here,” Nabooru said, looking around the table, “I think it is safe to say that it will be best if we are all completely honest about the reasons for why we are here. We have to rebuild the kingdoms.” sending a not at all discreet look in Midna’s direction, Nabooru moved her hand just enough to let them all see how she had placed the little emblem on top of the bandages. “But it is more than just that. We can’t just declare that the Twilight Realm to be independent once again. Even though we now know that all the stories about how the queen survived, escaping and giving birth to a daughter, making it so that we at least do not have to worry about who will take the throne, are true, it will take more to stabilise the kingdom, securing its continued independence after all of this. It will take more for us to ensure its continued existence after today than just to say that it is so. If we truly want to say that we are changing things, that we are making it so that there can be a possibility of both of these kingdoms existing without risking the integrity of either one of them, we have to make sure that we will remain close to each other. This,” Midna did not miss the way Nabooru looked between her and Zelda as she continued, the gaze she sent them being enough to make the meaning crystal-clear, “is also why we asked you to participate in this meaning. Of course, given everything you did during the battle, the sacrifices you both brought, it would have been impossible to imagine not having you here, but to tell the truth, we needed you to be here. You Royal Highness, given how Ganondorf is now dead and Zant has been caught by the members of the Resistance, you are the next in line for the throne. As such, we have to ask you to please remember everything that has happened during these last couple of weeks during the rest of your reign. We ask you to make sure that there will be the possibility of a close bond between the kingdom of Hyrule and the Twilight Realm.”</p>
<p>As silence settled around the table, all the people turning in their seats to look towards Zelda, Midna could almost see how it was not so different from the meetings that had taken place back at the base. If she just ignored all of the splendour, the paintings that decorated the walls, the tall windows that let the sunlight into the room, she could almost pretend that she was really back there again, having to try to argue for the plan she knew would be able to lead them to victory. Only, now Midna knew that, as important as it had been for her to win the argument back then, this was enough to make it all seem like a petty argument between friends.</p>
<p>By all means, that thought, the fact that Midna was not able to stop herself from being intimately aware of the fact that, if she failed now, if she did just let things happen around her, she might live to see the Twilight Realm crumple a second time, should have scared her. But, before she got the chance to let the fear of failure overwhelm her completely, Zelda had reached out, taking her hand beneath the table.</p>
<p>With a little smile in her direction, barely enough for Midna to notice it, making it so that she was almost completely confident that no one else had noticed it, Zelda pushed the chair back, moving to stand up. As she stood there, placing her hands on the table, Midna looking over at her and seeing how the rays of the sun hit her from behind, making it almost seem like Zelda emitted light, the fear did recede a little. It was not nearly enough for Midna’s stomach to stop aching, not enough for her to not be aware of just how quickly her heart was beating against her ribcage, but it was enough for Midna to be able to sit there, not to flee, not to give in to the instinct of fleeing from the situation, as Zelda spoke.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Nabooru,” Zelda said, confirming what Midna had already known deep down, that the woman had really been Nabooru.</p>
<p>She did not get much of a chance to revel in the fact that she had finally done something right, that she had actually been able to correctly guess the identity of one of the people she had not meet before, as Zelda only hesitated for a split second, the duration of the time she had to take a deep breath to calm herself surely being so little that Midna was the only one who noticed. Even then, she was fairly certain that, had it not been for how she knew that Zelda was doing her best to remain calm, the two of them having discussed exactly what Zelda was going to say next in the hours they had spent waiting for the meeting to take place, she would not even have noticed at all.</p>
<p>That was how quickly Zelda was able to stand up straight, erasing all traces of fear and doubts from her face, allowing her to instead look exactly like the queen she had rightfully become the moment her father had died and her brother had fled the kingdom and the consequences of the years of tyranny even if she had not yet officially received the title. “I, as I am sure is the case for each and every person sitting in this room, have spent these last few weeks thinking. Not only about what has happened, but also about what we will have to do next to ensure that both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm will be able to heal after the ordeal those in power have put the citizens of both countries through. My father was a tyrant, that much is true, but, we should not forget that the reason he was able to claim so much power, the reason he was able to create an army to send to the Twilight Realm, spreading the rumour that it had all just been a way to protect the kingdom from the effects of a coup d’état, was that we had given him that power. He was the king, and as such, he was able to do almost anything he might have pleased, simply because he had been born with more power than most people would ever be able to find on their own. If he had not been the king, if he had not received a position where he could make everyone obey him just by pointing towards the goddesses and reminding the people who spoke out against them that the Hyrulean royal family is said to descend from Hylia, then I doubt anyone, both the people within this castle but also those outside it, would ever have been able to ignore what their consciences told them to do for so long.” pausing for a moment, Zelda searched for Midna, the two of them exchanging a silent look.</p>
<p>Midna did not have to say anything, nor did she wish to do so, not when she could hear that Zelda was in control, shining as she stood there in front of the rest of the people who had played some of the biggest roles during the battle. A gleam that Midna was not fully able to comprehend made Zelda’s eyes look almost like they sparkled for a moment, letting Midna question whether Zelda had really acted only for herself all those months ago when she had sneaked onto the Shadow, or if there had been some larger meaning to it, something even Zelda had not been aware of until much later.</p>
<p>Midna supposed she would have to ask her about it later, for now, as Zelda redirected her attention back towards the fact that the room had become so silent that Midna could have sworn that she was able to hear the exact moment Zelda decided to jump, to let go of everything and suggest exactly the future that she and Midna had agreed would be the only way to achieve their dreams for how Hyrule and the Twilight Realm would be able to exist next to each other far into the future without risk of seeing everything that had already happened continue to cast shadows over them, everything else came to an end, leaving Zelda’s voice as the only thing in the room</p>
<p> “This is also why both Midna and I have agreed that we will abdicate. We will not hold the title of queen, not even for a single day.”</p>
<p>They had predicted that the suggestion could cause uproar, but even then, Midna found herself taken by surprise by the sheer scale of it all. While she knew that it could have been far worse, aware of how, all things considered, she should be grateful for the fact that they had allowed Zelda to finish presenting her suggestion rather than interrupting her the moment it became clear just what she would say, she still found herself tightening her grip on Zelda’s hand, Zelda doing the same.</p>
<p>In the end, it was a tall woman sitting towards the other end of the table who was the first to break through the discussions, raising her voice to make herself heard. “You are saying that you do not wish to inherit the throne?” she looked over at them, everything about the doubtful look in her eyes telling them that she was halfway expecting for Zelda to shake her head, to try to explain that she had misunderstood, that of course that was not what she had meant.</p>
<p>But Zelda only nodded. “Yes. I realise that it would be unlike anything that has ever happened before, but Midna and I have discussed this. Not only do we both agree that we are not fit to govern, that I have spent too much of my life inside this castle, blind to the suffering of those around me to receive the burden of being responsible for the lives of everyone in Hyrule, and that Midna has not been raised to accept that fate, but this, the way we have allowed for a single person to hold the full extent of the power, it was what made all of this possible. Conversely, the reason we have won this battle, the reason we have to believe that we will also win the battles that are still taking place around the kingdom, is that the Resistance was constructed so that there was not a single person who was able to give orders to everyone around them. Am I not correct?”</p>
<p>After everything Midna had seen and heard about the Resistance, after she had been able to look over at the woman sitting in the cell located on the other side of the hallway and see how the months of imprisonment had not been enough to break Ashei, after she had walked into the room to see what price Nabooru had had to pay for being able to keep the civilians from placing themselves exactly where the danger was at its greatest, she would not have thought that they would ever have been able to say something that would make the people in the room look away from them, all of them looking like the only thing they wanted to do in that moment was to disappear, to not have to answer Zelda’s question. And yet, that was exactly what happened, Zelda casting a short glance at the people sitting at the table, only to be met with total and utter silence.</p>
<p>Something began to stir in Midna’s stomach, the fear that they might have made the wrong choice, that their visions of how they would be able to create a better world would really be what brought it all to an end, making Midna have to fight to maintain a calm façade, sitting on her hands to keep herself from giving in to the temptation of leaving the room, of sprinting away and fleeing from it all. If they had really failed, if this would be all they would ever be able to achieve, this heavy silence, then she did not know what would happen next.</p>
<p>Arguably, the same was the case for Zelda, or at least, Midna could tell how, despite the fact that she was significantly better than her at keeping up the illusion of being calm, somewhat able to keep her anxiousness from manifesting as anything other than her hand shaking underneath the table, Midna finding herself unable to keep it from happening, in that moment, Zelda was also doing everything she could possibly have done to hide the fact that she was feeling far from confident in their plan.</p>
<p>They were saved by Renado. Sitting between Shad and the woman who had asked Zelda to clarify what she had meant, almost making it seem like he had been hiding from them, he finally came to their rescue, rising to stand up as well. Midna did not miss the way Shad looked up at him, unable to hide his surprise, but the next second, Renado brought a merciful end to the silence, and Midna could not have cared less about any of that.</p>
<p>“I believe that the princess’ plan could work,” Renado said, speaking clearly and loudly, making it so that there was not a single person in the room who would have been able to miss even a single word as he continued, “What she is saying, the observations she is making—they are all true.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps.” it would appear that the fact that Renado had brought an end to the silence that had followed Zelda’s suggestion had been what gave others the courage to do the same thing, for Renado had barely made it to the end of his sentence before the woman next to him spoke up once more. “But we cannot ignore the fact that, right now, what both of the kingdoms need more than anything is a promise of stability. We need to ensure that there will be people there to rule, people who will be able to begin the process of rebuilding everything that has been destroyed, both what had to disappear during all these years, but also to take care of the fact that, right now, people are frightened and confused. I saw it first-hand in Castle Town. People are afraid, they are unsure about what will happen now. More than anything, they need to know that there are people here who are willing to handle this. The last thing they need is for us to push that responsibility away from us, leaving the kingdoms without a ruler.”</p>
<p>“I understand.” Zelda had begun to fall back into her old way of arguing, Midna could both see and hear it as she pushed her shoulders back, looking every bit as determined as she had been when she had been able to make Midna throw away her own fears of what would happen if their plan failed, following Zelda to the castle with nothing but the hope that they would be able to win to keep the fear from overwhelming her. “And, believe me, Telma, no one here wants to see all we have fought for fall apart. But you should also be able to see that the only way to ensure that all of this will be able to last for longer than just our own lifetimes is by making it so that we will not leave the kingdoms vulnerable when we die. Let us pretend that Midna and I claim our places and sit on the throne of the Twilight Realm and Hyrule respectively. While it is true that we would wield more power that way, it would only last for as long as we are both alive. Once we are gone, we have no way of knowing what will happen, who will take the power after us, what kind of people they will be. But,” Zelda reached out, gesturing for Midna to stand up, and although she wanted to stay where she was, letting Zelda confront the people in the room on her own, Midna rose. It was only right, especially given how Zelda had accepted having to face the task of being the one to actually have to make the suggestion. Barely pausing for a moment, just enough to tilt her body a little closer to Midna, Zelda continued, “if we make sure that the people will also be able to control whom they want to represent them, then we will lower the risk of someone being tempted by power and being able to take it all for themselves.”</p>
<p>The silence was deafening. As she looked around at the people sitting around the table, trying to gauge what their reactions would be, Midna had to admit that she honestly had no idea about whether or not they had been able to convince them, if they might have been able to change anything at all.</p>
<p>But then, slowly, almost like he did not want to speak up and risk other people turning towards him, Shad raised his voice. “It could work—or, at least, it has worked before.”</p>
<p>“But how?” Telma looked away from Zelda, instead staring down at Shad. “So many towns are in ruins, the battles are not yet over in the remote corners of the kingdom. How are you planning to implement a change this big?”</p>
<p>“We are not suggesting that we will just leave everyone to fend for themselves. All we say is that all of this, the fact that the people did rise up in the end, should be a sign that they do want to decide for themselves, that they are more than capable of deciding whom they want to rule the realms for themselves. And, yes, we are not so blind to reality that we are not aware of the fact that this change will not happen from one day to the next, nor are we trying to claim that it could. No, what Midna and I have discussed is the possibility of forming some kind of council that will be able to rule until we are able to figure out a method to let the people chose whom they want to sit on the throne.” Zelda made a little motion, barely moving her hand. That was Midna’s cue to step up, to support her.</p>
<p>Clearing her throat, fighting back against the urge to look directly up at the ceiling to not have to see how everyone in the room immediately looked over at her, Midna tried her best to remember everything they had talked about. “Uh, yes,” she began, her stomach feeling like it was coming dangerously close to making her empty its contents as Midna saw how doubt was written across the faces of practically everyone in the room. But she had to continue, so, forcing herself to look towards Shad, focusing on the person in the room she was sure would support their plan, she did just that, “as Zelda said, we do believe that it could work. It will require time and it will be a large change to adapt to, but, given everything else we will have to change to bring back the Twilight Realm, I am sure that we can do it.”</p>
<p>“How?” Nabooru’s question was not exactly dismissive, but she also did not look convinced either. “How are you planning to let the people decide whom they want to sit on the throne?”</p>
<p>“Elections. Everyone will be able to apply for the position and then the people will vote.”</p>
<p>The sound of scattered murmurs was not exactly calming, but at least Midna could not hear how the wall of doubt was threatening to bring an end to all their plans anymore. Daring a glance towards Zelda, she sent a little smile her way. Maybe this could be the end. Maybe if they just made sure not to let down their guard, not to feel too confident, they would be able to leave the room, having gained their freedom. But it was more than just that. This morning, Midna could have sworn that the only reason she would support Zelda’s plan was that it was the only way they would be able to gain their freedom without also putting both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm at risk of someone else seizing the power for themselves, but now, as she looked at the room and saw how each and everyone around her were discussing the suggestion, Ashei looking over at Zelda, a thoughtful look in her eyes as she drew her brows together, Midna was not so sure anymore.</p>
<p>It was Ashei who was the first to speak. Looking directly over at Zelda, but taking her eyes off her for a moment to make sure that everyone could see that the question was also meant for Midna, Ashei spoke slowly, making it so that not a single person in the room would be able to miss what she said. “And then what about you? If Hyrule and the Twilight Realm aren’t monarchies any more, then what will you do?”</p>
<p>That was the exact question that had also created the end of their discussion about what to do, both of them knowing exactly what they wanted to happen next while also waiting for the other to say it, making it so that they would not have to let themselves to vulnerable, instead able to hide their own wishes behind a façade of rehearsed politeness and the pretence that they really did not wonder what would come next.</p>
<p>As Midna looked over at her, it was exactly that, the kind of unwillingness to put what they were both thinking into words that shone in Zelda’s eyes as she shrugged lightly. “I must admit that I am not sure about that. But it should not matter either. The moment Midna and I give up our titles and the power that comes with it, we will not be important for the future of Hyrule and the Twilight Realm anymore.”</p>
<p>But Ashei only shook her head. “Maybe not officially, but you must both know that you will never be able to escape the fact that we have you two to thank for the fact that we are able to sit here, that we won the battle of Hyrule Castle.”</p>
<p>Ashei might not have said it, but it could not have been clearer that she was thinking about how Ganondorf had ended his life, killed by his daughter inside his own ship. Despite the fact that Midna could hear how she had tried her best to sound gentle, not to bring back the memories, Zelda froze, her eyes becoming shiny as she opened her mouth, searching for something to say, before closing it again, bowing her head in defeat.</p>
<p>Immediately, Midna could feel how the doubt returned, how so many of those she had thought they might have convinced began to whisper to the person sitting next to them. They were losing control. If she did not say anything soon, then Midna knew that they might not be able to regain any of it, that the meeting would end with the two of them forced back into their old positions, Zelda once again being trapped within the castle.</p>
<p>Almost like she knew how the despair was moving towards Midna’s heart, slowly making her unable to even imagine what she could try to say, how she could ever hope to win their freedom, Nabooru sent a long look in the direction of Zelda, a gleam in her eyes that Midna did not know how to read.</p>
<p>Finally, she spoke. “Ashei is right. The only reason we are able to sit here today, the reason we have been able to open up the castle to the people from the town, is that they finished the fight for us.” as Nabooru turned towards the rest of the table, Midna could feel how the hope bloomed in her chest, all her attempts at telling herself not to give in to the temptation of giving it nourishment by letting herself believe that Nabooru might say what she hoped she would failing, something that only worsened when Nabooru gestured towards her and Zelda, a little smile making Midna instantly trust her even though she had known her for less than an hour. “Do they have any reason to suggest something that would be harmful to the kingdoms after everything they have done to save us all? No, they don’t. If they believe that this is the best way to continue on, to lead the kingdoms into an era of peace, then I trust their judgement, especially if Shad thinks the same. Shad?”</p>
<p>When  the attention of the people in the room turned towards him, Shad jerked a little, the motion that followed making it obvious that he would have preferred it if he had had a book to hide behind. But even then, he still looked back over at Nabooru, meeting her gaze. “Yes?”</p>
<p>“You said that what they are proposing has been done before, did you not?”</p>
<p>Shad nodded. “It has. It—it was a long time ago now, but it has been done before. We could make it happen again. As long as the people would trust us enough to let us make the preparations for the first elections and to give us the task of making sure that the countries will not crumple before we are able to elect someone, it could work.”</p>
<p>That was exactly what they needed, someone to finally take their side in all of this. Hoping that Shad was able to see the little smile she sent his way, Midna raised her voice, making sure to make herself heard above the whispers that came to fill the air the moment Shad fell silent again. “I am sure that if we just make it clear that we support this decision, then the people will trust us. After all, the Resistance has used the idea of my existence as a way to gather support for years, is that not right?”</p>
<p>No one looked like they wanted to answer her, most of the people around her suddenly seeming very concerned with the table in front of them, none of them able to meet her gaze.</p>
<p>In the end, it was Raven who answered for all of them. “That is true. We did cling to the idea of how the late queen might have escaped, that there might be a true heir to the throne out there. But, Midna—”</p>
<p>She held up her hand, brushing the apology that was about to roll off his tongue aside. “I am not trying to blame anyone for any of what has happened. All I am saying is that the fact that you made me become a symbol makes it so that we will be able to convince almost everyone to trust us. Imagine it, you have allowed me to become the human form of the idea of the rebellion. If I express support for the idea of this new way of ruling a country, they will follow us.”</p>
<p>“Are you certain?” Telma did not exactly look convinced, but at least Midna could see how she was no longer as opposed to the idea as she had been before.</p>
<p>“No,” Midna said. There was no use in lying, not when she knew that each and every person in the room would be able to tell if she tried to say something that was any less than the truth, “no I am not. But I do know that it is the only way we will be able to have a chance of bringing peace to both the Twilight Realm and Hyrule without risk of one of them crumbling the moment we look away. And is that not what we have fought for? To create peace?”</p>
<p>She could almost feel the shift in the atmosphere around her as she let the last word ring out, hoping that it would have the desired effect. And, one by one, at first slowly, but then faster and faster, the rest of the people who had been given the honour of participating in the meeting began to nod to themselves.</p>
<p>Midna could have cried. She could have laughed, have jumped up and down with joy, have pulled Zelda into an embrace, have sprinted out of the room and tried to find a ship that would be able to take her far away from everything. But she did none of it.</p>
<p>As the rest of the makeshift council the people in the meeting formed moments later, swearing to do everything within their power to protect the interests of both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm until they would be able to organise elections, one by one voiced their support for Zelda and Midna’s plan, Midna only smiled, hiding the sigh of relief that escaped her. The moment Zelda would show them the document they had drafted together, Zelda having told her what to write, how they were supposed to yield the power they had received through their titles to a council that would only rule until it would be possible to let the people elect their leaders, they would be free, both from any tyrants that might still be left in the world, but also from the almost crushing weight of knowing that even if they would be able to overthrow him, their burden would only become heavier as it would then have placed them alone on the throne.</p>
<p>Really, as the meeting progressed, everyone signing the document immediately with Midna trying her best to make her signature seem as intricate as Zelda’s, the subject instead shifting to have them discuss what they could do to help the members of the Resistance who were still fighting the last battles in the distant corners of the country, how they had received news that Labrynnan soldiers had arrived to help the Resistance along the southern border, making the battles there end only a few hours after they had arrived from the capital, allowing them to win without any casualties, Midna moved away from the centre of the discussions. It was better that way. Despite what all the people who came up to thank her as the meeting was adjourned might have believed, Nabooru shaking her hand with respect in her eyes as she told her about how they might be able to rebuild towns soon, clearly under the belief that Midna had any idea about what she was talking about, fact was that she had just been in the right place at the right time. She had not planned for any of it to happen, and, although it was a selfish thought, if Midna was being honest with herself, she knew that if it had not been for the fact that she had felt threatened by Ganondorf, had known that he would never give up until he had ensured that every single person who had lived in the base was dead, she might never have left the safety she had been granted by the mountain.</p>
<p>However, as Midna was finally able to excuse herself, pushing past a couple of leaders from the Resistance, a mumbled excuse about how she was tired being enough to make them move aside, walking out into the hallway to see how Zelda was standing in front of the window, looking down at the courtyard below, she was not so certain about that anymore. While Midna would never admit that she might have come to care about the people in Castle Town, she was not able to deny the fact that even if she had been absolutely certain that they were safe inside the mountain, she might still have done all of it again, had Zelda asked her to. Of course, she would not tell her, not when Midna was easily able to picture the way Zelda would lit up into a bright smile, convinced that she had been right all along.</p>
<p>But she could walk over to her, leaning towards her, the fact that Midna was a head taller than Zelda instantly rendering her attempt at resting her head against her shoulder hopeless. Still, it had been enough to catch Zelda’s attention, making her turn around to look at her.</p>
<p>They had been inside the meeting room for far longer than Midna had thought at first, making it so that the sun was beginning to set outside. As Midna tried her best to pretend that she had yet to notice the way Zelda was looking at her, instead keeping her gaze fixed on the horizon, she gave herself that short moment to do nothing other than taking in the sheer beauty of the sight that met her, the way the sky was painted orange. But despite the beauty, she could not ignore the sheer scale of the destruction, the way large parts of the town walls had become rubble where the cannons had missed their marks, instead falling towards the ground.</p>
<p>Although her mind tried its best to wander towards the rest of the damage, the loss of life that had been the result of the fight that she had, albeit inadvertently, been the catalyst for, Midna forced herself to only look at the wreckages of the battleships that lay strewn throughout what little of the town she was able to see from her spot inside the castle. If she first began to let herself imagine the horror that must have erupted, trapping the people who had been caught in the middle of a battle they had never asked for, she might not be able to continue on.</p>
<p>“It is horrible, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Tearing her gaze away from the window, Midna found that Zelda’s expression was a reflection of the feelings flying through her mind in that moment. She tried her best to find something to say, Midna really did, but no matter how many different words she tried to picture herself replying with, she could not find anything that was more fitting than nodding, two short words filling the air between them. “It is.”</p>
<p>“Do you—do you really think that things will become better now?”</p>
<p>Midna did not answer immediately. Both she and Zelda would have been able to tell if she had given her the answer that she knew Zelda wanted to hear. But that did not change the fact that Midna told the truth when she answered. “I think it might become better. As long as the council is able to rule without the individual members gaining too much power, it should be possible.” when Zelda continued to look doubtful, Midna let out a chuckle, almost managing to surprise herself as it did not sound even halfway as forced as she had expected for it to do. “Given the way they acted at the mere idea of how we were suggesting handing our power over to them, I am certain that everything will be all right now.”</p>
<p>That elicited a little smile from Zelda, the gesture still not able to hide the fact that she was exhausted. “Ashei used to tell me stories about all the things I would be able to do as a queen when I was younger. I remember once—goddesses, I must have been, what, about twelve—when our ship was attacked and she brought me into the safety room, telling me that as long as I was quiet, she was sure that I would become queen one day, that I would be able to make it so that no one would ever be unhappy again. Back then I remember thinking that it would be impossible to make a law that said that no one would ever be allowed to feel sad—”</p>
<p>“You did?” Midna had not meant to interrupt her, but as she tried to picture it, a little girl with the same kind of optimistic belief that the world was fundamentally good trying to imagine how she would be able to make a law declaring it to be illegal to be unhappy, she could feel the words rising to the surface.</p>
<p>Luckily, Zelda only responded to the interruption by laughing, shaking her head at the story. “I did. I was… I would not say dumb, but I was certainly sheltered back then. Truly, I think that I am still a bit sheltered even now.” she sent Midna a long look.</p>
<p>It took Midna a few seconds too long to figure out that she was waiting for her response. Already feeling how her cheeks were surely becoming red, Midna smirked at her. “Well, I will not say that you are not still among some of the most naïve people I have ever met, but you have certainly learnt a lot more about the world since I met you. Or at least I doubt that you would sneak onto a pirate ship today.”</p>
<p>Cocking her head, Zelda sent her a grin. “You never know!”</p>
<p>“No, I suppose I don’t. But at least I now know why you can be so stubborn in your belief that I am a good person. You were, after all, literally taught to think that way. Really, with how you were apparently spending a lot of time around core members of the Resistance while growing up, it would not surprise me if you had been able to tell who I was from the second you met me.”</p>
<p>Midna had expected for Zelda to smile at the little jab, but she simply looked down at the carpeted floor, moving her shoes a little, avoiding the blotches of blood that had yet to be covered up, as she spoke. “Yeah, I have been wondering about that as well. Midna, I—I just want you to know that I really had no idea about who you were back then. I mean, of course I began to grow suspicious when you refused to tell me anything about yourself, but, for the most part at least, I decided that it might all just be explained by the fact that you had lived out there for so long.”</p>
<p>“I know.” suddenly, it felt incredibly important for Midna to try to take back her words, and, holding her hands up in front of her, almost like she was trying to defend herself,  she added. “I was just trying to lighten the mood a little—I didn’t really mean anything by it.”</p>
<p>But it was not enough. Midna could tell that from the second Zelda shook her head, bringing her arms in front of her, not folding them, but also not looking as open as she had done mere moments before. “No, I just wanted you to know that that—well, that no matter what, I did not stay there with you because I had any suspicions about how you might be the princess of the Twilight Realm. I stayed because I wanted to, because you made me want to stay.”</p>
<p>She was making it so easy for her, practically inviting Midna to mention the fact that she had not returned to her little bed in the infirmary, having instead stayed in Zelda’s room for the past couple of days. They both knew that Zelda’s excuse about how it would be best for them to remain close to each other while trying to figure out how to achieve the kind of peace they wanted to leave behind them, Midna had to believe that. Zelda, with all her lessons in the art of speaking, would never say all of this without being aware of just how it would come across.</p>
<p>However, if there was one thing Zelda had a habit of forgetting, it was the fact that Midna was a coward, so, instead of finally reaching out, Midna just shrugged. “Oh. Well, I am happy to hear that. The fact that you stayed, it—it meant a lot to me as well.”</p>
<p>Zelda waited for her to continue for a moment, but then her disappointment was also obvious, the sigh that escaped her sounding loud even as Midna knew that it had barely been audible. “I suppose so,” Zelda mumbled, turning to look back out of the window.</p>
<p>All it would have taken for Midna to make it all right again was to move, to open her mouth and say what they were both thinking, but she could not bring herself to do it. Each time she was almost convinced that she had mustered up the courage to finally say it, she looked over at Zelda, the way she was trying her best not to meet her gaze making her stomach feel heavy. It was that kind of heavy feeling that made her choose the easy way out, realising that she had to say something if she wanted the silence to end.</p>
<p>Moving her weight from one side to the other, Midna nodded towards the window. “What do you want to do once all of this is over?”</p>
<p>So much time passed before Zelda answered that, for a couple of seconds, Midna was almost certain that she would not receive an answer. It would have been understandable, of course it would, but that did not change the fact that Midna had to fight not to let out a sigh of relief when Zelda bowed her head, a look in her eyes that almost made it seem like she was fighting to keep back the tears.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t know. I was hoping that maybe… no.” Zelda shook her head, and just like that, she was looking back up at Midna again, the perfect smile in place. Only now, Midna having come to know the difference between such a smile and the real thing, the way Zelda’s eyes could sparkle when she was happy, it was apparent how there was no joy in Zelda’s voice as she continued. “I was just being silly.” before Midna got the chance to assure her that, no matter what she might have been thinking, she was sure that Zelda had not been silly, Zelda moved the focus over onto her. “And what about you?”</p>
<p>“I think that I want to travel. See the world, you know? I mean, I spent so many years inside the base, unable to leave the safety of the fortress without constantly having to be careful not to be seen by any of the soldiers on patrol, so now that I finally have the ability to do so, I want to travel, to go see the world for myself.”</p>
<p>“Huh.” Zelda let out a low chuckle, shaking her head a little. “Before I sneaked onto your ship, all I knew about the world had come from the pictures in the atlases in the library of Hyrule Castle and what little I had been able to see whenever my father would bring me along for visits to other kingdoms.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Zelda nodded. “Once, I tried to convince some of the guards who were with us to let me walk out onto the deck while we were on our way to Holodrum, but they just told me that it was too dangerous.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so really, your rebellion already began the moment you walked out onto the deck back when you boarded my ship?”</p>
<p>“Yes, that sounds about right.” the smile Midna was finally seeing grace the room with its presence disappeared moments later, the exact same moment that Zelda moved closer to her, placing her hand on her arm, the touch feeling as light as a feather. “Midna, I was actually just thinking about… well, if you want to leave to go see the world, aren’t you going to need your ship?”</p>
<p>“I am indeed.”</p>
<p>Zelda drew her brows together. “But is it not back at the base?”</p>
<p>“It is, but Raven has promised to fly me back so that I will be able to get it.”</p>
<p>“Oh…” Zelda swallowed a couple of times before continuing, “are you… are you leaving soon, then?”</p>
<p>It was obvious what she really wanted to say, how she wanted to ask her if she could not stay for just a little longer. And maybe, if Zelda had just asked, Midna would have told her that of course she would stay. But as neither of them was willing to be the first to say it, Midna could only shrug, pretend that she had not already spent hours wondering the exact same thing, halfway fearing, halfway waiting for the moment when Zelda would ask her. “Well, I will have to leave soon, but I will come back here again, even if it just for a short while.”</p>
<p>“You will?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I might not have got a lot of time to just listen to what the guards tell me about what is going on within this castle, but with how much time Link spent in the infirmary, sitting next to my bed, I can understand that there are some who are talking about how we should celebrate our victory and that Ilia will not forgive me if I disappear without having at least experienced that.”</p>
<p>There was not any humour to the way Zelda laughed. “Yeah, let’s try not to upset Ilia. But… Midna, do they know that you are thinking about leaving?”</p>
<p>Truth to be told, Midna had found herself asking the same question so many times during the last few days that she was almost not sure anymore about what the answer was. She had not told them, that much was certain, but then again, with the way Ilia had sat, leaning in over her, looking almost mournful when Midna had woken up, she had to question whether they really did not know. Midna wanted to believe that they had no idea, that she would be able to pretend for a moment that she was not going to leave, but she could not deny that, as the days passed, as she walked past Ilia more and more times, she was beginning to doubt whether that was really true, the feeling only growing each time she would look at her.</p>
<p>But there was no need for Zelda to know any of that, so, feigning nonchalance, Midna looked out of the window. “No, I don’t think they do. So if you would please—”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry.” Zelda looked up at her but all traces of the smile were gone from her eyes. “I won’t tell them. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go find Nabooru. I have to talk with her about… something.”</p>
<p>Midna watched as Zelda turned around, walking away from her. She moved so slowly, taking small, even steps, that Midna would easily have been able to catch up with her. It would be as easy as breathing to just walk over to her, to tell her that, really, Midna wanted nothing more than to just be able to ask her if she wanted to join her, to ask if she would ever be able to convince Zelda to come with her, to grace her with her presence on her journey.</p>
<p>But Midna remained where she was, looking at Zelda as she moved away from her. It did not feel right to ask that much of her, to beg Zelda to leave everything behind, especially when Midna knew that she would do it without hesitation if she just asked her. So, even as everything in her screamed at her to run over to her, to apologise for how distant she had been and ask her, Midna did not do any of it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we see the beginning of the process of creating a new Hyrule that can exist alongside the Twilight Realm along with Midna's attempts at navigating her own feelings.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The celebration of their victory was not Ilia’s idea, though, considering the amounts of times Midna had listened to her talk about it in the day it took for her and Raven to prepare for the journey over the Eldin Mountains, back to the Twilight Realm, she would not have blamed anyone who might have thought otherwise.</p>
<p>As much as Midna wanted to celebrate alongside her friends, to just let go and for once allow herself to be happy for the fact that she was alive, the more she had to hear about it, Ilia practically shining as she told her about how they would make sure to invite everyone from Castle Town, using the occasion to also remember those who had died, the stronger the urge to just stay at the base until she was sure that the celebrations were over became.</p>
<p>It made no sense, Midna knew that. She should have been happy to see the way Ilia had grown close to a little group of people from the town, but Midna still forgot the name of every single one of the people Ilia introduced her to, telling her about how they had helped her hide both herself and Epona, showing her the way to a secluded glade in the forest after her airship had not been able to remain in the air anymore, the moment after she had heard it.</p>
<p>If she was being honest with herself, Midna was almost certain that, had it not been for the fact that the maid had looked so disappointed when Midna had responded to her offer of preparing one of the guest rooms in the castle for her by telling her that she would not stay there for very long, she might just have done it. But in the end, the sight of the little emblem coupled with the way the maid had looked down towards her feet, her fingers instantly searching for the embroidered symbol, had been more than she had been able to take, so she had given in.</p>
<p>That was what had brought her to stand in the corner of the ballroom of the castle, trying to keep herself from moving even closer towards the wall behind her. She had nothing to fear, there was no reason for her to continue to look over her shoulder, nor did she have any reason to continue to try to see  if she would be able to catch a glimpse of Zelda in the crowd, but despite that, Midna did both of those thing, all attempts at recalling the peace that had come to fill the abandoned fortress she had returned to only a few days before as a way to force herself to relax failing her.</p>
<p>“Enjoying the party?”</p>
<p>She must have been distant for a moment, for she could have sworn that Link had not been standing there just a second ago, though it was obvious that she had simply missed him. In that case, Midna must have been distracted for longer time than what she had thought at first, for she almost leapt up into the air, barely able to control herself in time. With a smile that she hoped was able to hide all of the thoughts that were still whirling through her mind, Midna prepared herself, hoping that she might be able to fool her best friend into thinking that nothing was wrong as she turned around to look at him. “Yes, I am, actually.”</p>
<p>“You are lying,” Link observed, twirling a little cake in his hand.</p>
<p>Midna had heard some of the maids lament that they had not been given enough time to prepare for the celebration, that they had not been able to make sure that all of the different cakes and platters of food were as good as they could have been, but the copy of the symbol of the Resistance, the light and the shadow, that decorated the cake, drawn on with a mixture of sugar, water, and some kind of colour, looked better than anything Midna would ever have been able to make back at the base.</p>
<p>Maybe Link was thinking the same thing as he followed he glance, smiling at her when he saw how she was looking at the cake. “If you want one, I am sure that Ilia would be more than happy to go get one for you.”</p>
<p>That much was true. Even from across the room, Midna could see Ilia talk with so many people she had no recollection of having ever seen before in her life that Midna stopped trying to mentally assign names to each and every one of them by the time she had used ‘woman with blue hair’ three different times. But although she knew that Link was right, Midna could only shrug, taking a step back, bringing herself a little closer to the wall. “No, I… I am not really that hungry. This celebration—I know that it is good and that they are talking about how it is supposed to represent a new beginning for both Hyrule and the Twilight Realm, but I am just tired.”</p>
<p>“I get that,” Link answered. Of course he did. It never seemed that there was anything he did not immediately understand, that there was anything Midna would have been able to tell him that would not have earned her a sympathetic nod and a little hug, Link holding the cake far away from her to keep the sticky decoration from touching her hair. Moving back, away from her, he tilted his head to the side a bit. “It is exhausting, is it not?”</p>
<p>Midna could only agree. While she doubted that they found the celebration and all the people who came over to her, some of them struggling to get a word out, instead staring at her with wide eyes, some of them speaking so quickly that Midna could barely understand what they were saying, and others again simply crying, trying to get out a thankyou between the sobs, exhausting in the same way, it was nice to know that there was at least one other person there who felt the same way about the festivities as she did.</p>
<p>The silence that settled between them was at once comfortable and one of the most unpleasant things Midna had ever had to experience. Comfortable because she knew Link well enough to know that he did expect for her to say something, that he was not waiting for her to bring an end to the silence, trying to force herself to seem happier than she really was, but also unpleasant because the silence provided her with the chance to truly lose herself to her own thoughts.</p>
<p>It had been a mistake to tell Zelda. Midna could see that now. It had felt fantastic in the moment. When Zelda had kissed her, everything had been perfect for a moment. Closing her eyes, Midna could still recall the feeling, the way Zelda had hesitated for a moment. Waking up the next morning, knowing that she would open her eyes to find that Zelda had wrapped her arms around her while sleeping, had been the best feeling in the world. But then, rather than staying there with her, Zelda had barely opened her eyes before she had let go of her, sitting up to, with her hair a mess around her head, tell her that they had so much they still needed to prepare if they wanted to have a chance of being able to convince the leaders of the Resistance that they did not want the thrones, and, ignoring the way she could feel the doubt set in, the little, creeping feeling that maybe there was something she had misunderstood, Midna had followed along, pushing her feelings away.</p>
<p>That had been the first in a long line of mistakes, she could see that now. If she was being honest with herself, she did not really believe that Zelda had regretted anything, nor than the kiss had been little more than the result of the joy of knowing that the battle was over. It simply did not make sense for that to be the case, not with how Zelda had looked towards her during the meeting. But even that had not been enough to keep Midna from having to make everything worse between them by refusing to do something as simple as inviting Zelda to come with her, instead hoping that she would be the one to ask. And now, Midna was here, standing in the corner of the room, slowly finding herself with no choice other than admitting that Zelda was not there with her.</p>
<p>But, even if she could not find Zelda anywhere, it did not mean that there were not plenty of people in the room that Midna could recognise. Not only had Nabooru, the newly appointed leader of the council that would take care of governing Hyrule and the Twilight Realm until the first election, come up to her only a few seconds after she had entered the room to talk with her about what visions Midna had for the future of the countries, only for the conversation to come to a sudden end as none of them were able to ignore the fact that Midna really did not have any idea about what she could tell her other than everything she had already said about how she wanted to create peace, but throughout the night, most of the other leaders of the Resistance had also come to talk with her.</p>
<p>In fact, as Midna stood there next to Link, she caught a glimpse of Cremia’s red hair halfway across the room, Cremia sprinting through the crowd of people, barely avoiding a collision with a group who were in the middle of a complicated dance. A second later, Midna realised the reason for her excitement, as Cremia did not slow down even a little, instead letting the collision become a hug as she reached Anju. As Midna watched, she could see how Anju instantly responded by bringing her arms around Cremia, pulling her closer, almost like she might otherwise have disappeared the next second, before turning towards Kafei, gesturing for him to come join her. Midna looked away before he reached them. It did not feel right to watch and envy them their happiness.</p>
<p>The unspoken agreement she could feel between herself and Link about how none of them wanted to speak with anyone right then was broken the next moment.</p>
<p>A man whom Midna could not remember having ever seen before, a feeling she was able to confirm as she got the chance to have a closer look at him with how she doubted it would have been possible for her to forget about him given his bright red hair and the cape he wore, having pulled the collar of his shirt up to cover most of his face, stepped over to them.</p>
<p>For a moment, Midna was almost sure that he would continue past them, that he was just looking for someone and would leave once he knew that he had not found them yet, but that hope soon died as he did not leave.</p>
<p>“Yes?” Midna asked, hearing how she failed to keep the hint of annoyance out of her voice. “Do you want anything?” already, she was hoping that he would not move the collar down to reveal an emblem. As grateful as she was for everything the rebels had done for her, right then, Midna only wanted to be left alone, waiting until it would finally be appropriate to leave and then head back to her room.</p>
<p>The stranger nodded. “I do. Could I maybe steal a minute of your time? I want to speak with you.” his gaze flickered over towards Link. “Alone.”</p>
<p>“I—” Midna was less than a second away from telling the man that he could tell her what he wanted to say right then and there, that she was not going to ask her best friend to leave her, but before she got the chance to do so, Link had moved in front of her.</p>
<p>“Sure. I think I saw Ilia gesture for me to join her as well a little while ago, so I should probably get going if I don’t want to let her wait.” pausing for a moment to look back at Midna, silently asking her if she really would rather have him stay, giving her a little smile as she shook her head, Link left.</p>
<p>As the sound of his footsteps was drowned out by the sheer intensity of the celebrations, the man took a step closer to Midna. Pushing the collar back down, the change only making him look a little less ridiculous than before, he extended his hand towards her, sending her a cautious smile. “I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done.”</p>
<p>“You have nothing to thank me for. I only did what I had to do—really, it was the people of Hyrule and the Twilight Realm who were responsible for making sure that the king fell.” it felt like she had repeated those words hundreds of times. Maybe she had. Midna would not be surprised if that was the case. After all, the first hour of the celebration had flown by in a blur of people whispering to each other while looking at her, some of them coming over to thank her.</p>
<p>But unlike what Midna had expected, the man did not nod  at her, show her how he had hidden an emblem beneath the collar, and then leave, nor did he try to convince her that she had somehow single-handedly brought the king to fall. Instead of doing any of what Midna expected of him, he just sent her a long look, making her feel almost like she was the one who did not understand what was going on, like she was the one who had simply walked into a conversation.</p>
<p>“Believe me,” the man said with a smile, “you have done so much more than just that. Just… I know that you most likely did not realise it at the time, that you did not do it for my sake, but let me tell you that you changed my life for the better the moment you made it so that the princess would not have to travel to Labrynna to marry the crown prince.”</p>
<p>It felt almost like the words passed through her brain and then out on the other side, Midna finding it nearly impossible to make sense of what she was hearing. The things he said, the way he was clearly trying his best not to be seen, even now moving to stand with his back turned towards most of the guests, the expensive fabric of the cape—Midna could only think of one explanation that would be enough to explain it all, but it simply did not make any sense. From what she had heard, it was not possible for him to really been there.</p>
<p>But she had to know, and so, preparing herself for the moment he would frown, perhaps insulted that she had mistaken him for someone else, Midna cocked her head. “Crown Prince Ralph?”</p>
<p>He smiled. “At your service.”</p>
<p>After everything else, after all the things that had happened over the last couple of months that had also not made any sense, Midna supposed that she should really not have been all that surprised. A prince from a neighbouring kingdom was standing in front of her, how different was that really from walking into the storeroom of the Shadow, thinking that she would just make sure that the food she had been able to steal would be kept safe until they were able to reach the base, only to find that the chest was already in use by the princess of Hyrule?</p>
<p>But although she should perhaps have been able to just shrug it all off, Midna could feel how the questions bubbled up towards the surface, all manners let behind for a moment as she instead just stared at him. “Forgive me, You Royal Highness—”</p>
<p>Ralph interrupted her before she was able to reach the end of the sentence, signalling for her to stop. “Please. I don’t want to be recognised right here.”</p>
<p>He had not told her not to address him with the proper respect, Midna noticed, he had merely asked her not to ruin his disguise. Fighting to keep back a smirk at the way he was so obviously not going to tell her to just call him by his first name, Midna nodded. “All right. Ralph it is then.” pausing for a moment, she tried to tell if he was annoyed by her antics.</p>
<p>If he was, he was able to hide it well, his face a mask of complete calmness, making Midna have to admit that maybe she had been wrong about him. But right then, she really did not care all that much about the personality of the prince Zelda would have married had it not been for the fact that Midna had unwittingly brought her the weapon she would use to kill her father when faced with a situation where she had to choose between standing by and watch Midna die or acting, so she did not hesitate for long before continuing. “May I ask what you mean? What do you mean that I changed your life for the better? You do realise that I am the reason you are currently unmarried, do you not?”</p>
<p>“I do. That is why I have to thank you.”</p>
<p>Following his line of sight, Midna looked towards the other end of the ballroom where one of the women she had seen Ilia talk with before, the one among the blue-haired women who had spun around in a sea of blue silk, the quality of the fabric being apparent even to Midna, was looking at them.</p>
<p>She turned back towards Ralph, and in that moment, it all made sense to her. The reason why he had wanted to come all that way to celebrate with the rest of them even though he had to hide, why he had sounded so sincere when he had thanked her—all of it made sense.</p>
<p>“What is her name?” Midna looked back over at him, already knowing that she would not have to specify whom she was talking about. It would appear that Ganondorf had not lied about that part after all.</p>
<p>As Ralph answered, all of the smugness disappeared from his voice, leaving only a fond tone behind. “Nayru.” he must have noticed her surprised look, for he smiled. “Yes, like the goddess, I know. It is fitting, you know, it really does feel like she could be one of the golden goddesses having assumed a mortal form—but,” he said, interrupting himself, a blush rising into his cheeks, “I did not come here to tell you about how amazing she is. If that was the case, none of us would ever leave this room again, for I am certain that there are not enough words in this world to ever allow me to even come close to being able to describe her.” Ralph must have noticed that Midna was coming closer and closer to just deciding that, prince or not, she was not going to stay, rolling her eyes, and leaving with every passing second, for he hurried to clear his throat, reaching out to take her hand. “Midna, I can’t thank you enough for what you did. I am not conceited enough to even entertain the idea that you would be thinking about me when you made the decision—of course you weren’t, no one would have thought about a prince they had never met—but even though you might not have known about it, I wanted to tell you that you truly changed my life for the better, and that, if there is anything at all I can do to repay you, just say the word. Then, I will do everything within my power to make it come true.”</p>
<p>She shook her head. It all felt unreal. Not only was she here, having had to try to come up with a way to react to the never-ending crowd of people who just wanted to talk with her for a moment, who just wanted to shake her hand, just wanted to stand next to her for half a second, now she was also standing here, talking with the heir to the Labrynnan throne, having him promise her that he would give her anything she might ever ask of him.</p>
<p>In the end, even though Midna did not doubt that she would easily have been able to think of something she could need a prince’s help with if she had just tried, she shook her head at him. “That is very kind, Ralph, but it would not feel right to ask anything of you. You are right that I was not thinking about you when I made the decision to act. If it can stay between us, I will have to admit that I really was not thinking about anyone in this room when I made the decision. It would simply not be right to expect anything in return.”</p>
<p>At least Ralph did not try to argue with her though he did lift his brow at that. “Who did you think about then?”</p>
<p>The memory of how Zelda had looked only a couple of days ago, the smile she had sent Midna when she had leant down to kiss her, the joy that had fluttered in her stomach for the few days of almost perfect bliss she had had before her own doubts had come between them, making Midna push Zelda away again, ignoring the way everything in her yelled at her to explain to her what was wrong, why she was acting the way she was, rose to the surface. Almost like the clouds that would sometimes surround the ship for hours at a time, making it difficult for them to be able to watch out for the signs Ganondorf’s ships being close by, it refused to leave her, instead allowing for the grief and regret to seep into her words as Midna shook her head. “I—please don’t take this the wrong way, but I really don’t want to talk about it.”</p>
<p>She had expected for Ralph to feel insulted, but, to Midna’s surprise and relief, he just shrugged, changing the subject almost immediately. “Don’t apologise, I can understand that feeling. Back when I was still meant to marry Princess Zelda, back when both Nayru and I thought that we were living on borrowed time, that I would one day have to choose between her and my duties to my people, it was easier not to talk about her with anyone, to only allow her to be in my thoughts when we were able to spend time together. But, no matter what, I want you to know that you will always be welcome in Labrynna. Should you ever decide to visit us, just say that you were invited by the crown prince—I will make sure that we will have a room ready for you , should you ever want to spend time at the palace.” Ralph blinked at her. “And, trust me, no matter how beautiful Hyrule and the Twilight Realm might be, they are not able to compete with Labrynna. Imagine it, blue oceans that seem to continue on for forever, a perfect beach, enormous forests, and mountains that almost seem to be able to touch the sky. Just… think about it.” with a final glance in the direction of Nayru, Ralph turned around to leave.</p>
<p>“Wait!” Midna was not even aware of how she had raised her voice to a point that could hardly be considered polite, how she had reached out to grab the prince’s hand until she had already done it.</p>
<p>Really, she should probably consider herself lucky when Ralph did not respond by pushing her away, revealing how he had brought guards with him from Labrynna who would rush towards her, ready to save their prince, but as Midna looked up at him, she knew that, even if the relaxed expression on his face was just a way to hide the fact that he had already gestured towards the guards, she would not have been able to worry about it.</p>
<p>No, in that moment, all she could think about was how she had to know how much Ganondorf had lied about, so, trying her best to calm down just a little, she moved closer towards him, keeping her voice down. “I thought—well, that is, I was told that your parents would view it as a grave insult for the princess not to marry you when it had already been agreed so many years ago that you would marry one another to strengthen the ties between Labrynna and Hyrule. Was that all a lie?” inwardly, she was whispering to herself, whispering a prayer to any goddess who might want to listen, Midna hoping that perhaps the fact that there was a person in the room who shared her name would make Nayru more likely to help her, especially given how Midna had come to learn that she was the goddess Zelda felt the closest connection to, or at least the one she would address with a quick prayer the most. If Ganondorf was wrong about this, then perhaps he would be wrong about other things as well. Maybe it would be enough to make the world change a little, pushing everything into place.</p>
<p>“I would not say that they were happy about the fact that my marriage was never even made official,” Ralph said, his voice sounding too cheerful considering how they were discussing an issue that might potentially make it even more difficult for the council to negotiate with Labrynna, “but, in the end, I was able to convince them that it was better for Labrynna to maintain a friendly relationship with its neighbours than to allow our pride to lead us onto a course that would ultimately do nothing good for anyone in either country. And, while I still would not exactly say that they are happy about what has happened, I think that they are able to admit that it is better this way, that having a more stable country to the north will be better for everyone. Well, I suppose I cannot claim that I was the one to convince them of that.”</p>
<p>“Nayru?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Ralph paused again, once more looking towards Nayru. It was not until Midna tried her best to discreetly clear her throat that he looked back over at her, sending her an apologetic look. “Forgive me, but it is still so new… all of this. Just a couple of weeks ago, I knew that, in just a couple of weeks, I would have to marry the princess of Hyrule and that from then on, the only thing I would be able to hope for would be for her to agree that it would be better for us to remain friends And now…” he shook his head, “I am sorry, I am rambling again. I did not come over to you to begin to tell you about Nayru, no matter how much I pity those who will not be able to get the pleasure of getting to know her. But,” he narrowed his eyes a little, and for the first time during their conversation, Midna could feel how, underneath the fancy cape and the hair that was unlike anything she had ever seen before, Ralph was a prince, someone who had been raised to be able to cast a single glance at someone and know exactly where the conversation was heading, predicting exactly what he would have to say to make sure he would remain in control before a single word ha even left their mouth, “I am sure that that was not really what you wanted to talk about either.”</p>
<p>“No,” Midna admitted, Trying to lie to him was an hopeless idea, she could tell that already, simply by how little time it had taken for him to see through what had not quite been a lie, but also not been the full truth, “I suppose it was not really what I wanted to get the answer to.”</p>
<p>“You are wondering about whether the rumours of Labrynnan troops arriving to help the rebels in the southern parts of Hyrule are true, and, if they are, if they acted on the orders of the royal family or if they had just decided to help those they deemed most in need of it.” Ralph stated it like it was simply another rumour rather than something that, if it was true, would mean that Labrynna had not remained as neutral in the battle as Zelda had told her that Queen Ambi wanted to appear as. “Am I not right?”</p>
<p>Midna could only nod, all words feeling like they disappeared in her throat as she met his gaze. Even by just looking at his face, the way he was so clearly trying to hide a hint of a smile, she could see what the answer to her question would be, and still, it felt almost too self-satisfied to think that she might be right about the look she thought she could see in his eyes.</p>
<p>Finally, Midna was able to force herself to speak, having to practically push the words out of her mouth, forcing them to become more than just a whisper in her head. “You are. That was what I wanted to ask about.”</p>
<p>“I thought so.” Casting a glance at the people around them, Ralph moved a step closer to her, clearly trying his best and failing to make it seem like he was not trying to figure out if he would be able to answer her without risking anyone overhearing.</p>
<p>When it finally seemed that he was satisfied with their odds of having their conversation go by unnoticed, he looked back at her. “Now, it would be a political scandal if it turned out that they had really acted because they had received orders to help the rebels in Hyrule. I trust you not to let my answer reach anyone but the two of us.” he fell silent, refusing to continue until Midna nodded. “Good. I… while the soldiers were not exactly told that they would have to go to Hyrule to risk their lives for a cause that had, until we got a message from some of our spies that the rumours about how the Twilight Princess might have turned out to be more than just a tale that mothers would tell their children to give them hope, seemed like nothing more than a lie that the Resistance would try to tell its members to try to make them believe that they might actually be able to change something, I also had… ahem, let us refer to them as private meetings with one of the generals not that long after I heard about you. And, well, while I don’t want to say that I was the reason for why the battles have already ended in the southern parts of Hyrule and why there are currently ten airships heading towards the towns that have yet to bring an end to the battles to provide the Resistance with the help and weapons they might need, I might have made it clear to her that, as the crown prince and heir to the throne, I would consider every single person willing to participate in the mission a hero.”</p>
<p>“You—” Midna could not bring herself to finish the sentence, she simply could not. Here she was, standing in front of a person who had, until that very moment, honestly not seemed all that bright, only to learn that he might have been the reason for why the battles in the south had been over before they had truly begun, before they would have claimed any lives.</p>
<p>Of course, Midna had had her suspicions about how the little army she had heard rumours about had most likely not consisted of a bunch of soldiers who had decided to travel to Hyrule all on their own, but she had always assumed that if the order had come from someone within the palace, then it would have been given by the queen. But now, as she looked at Ralph, she knew that she had been wrong.</p>
<p>Finally finding the strength to speak again, Midna shook her head, struggling to believe that this was really happening, that she would not wake up any moment to find that she had just been dreaming for the last couple of minutes, perhaps even for the past couple of months, “Ralph, I—I can’t thank you enough. If what you are saying is true, then…”</p>
<p>“Then I am a part of the reason for why you are currently able to celebrate your victory.” Ralph smirked at her, but where Midna would probably have rolled her eyes at him before, now, she just kept smiling at him as he continued. “I suppose that means that we are both struggling to find the words to describe how thankful we are, so why don’t we just agree that we owe each other a favour?”</p>
<p>There was no part of her, not even a single whisper in her head that wanted her to stop, to tell him that he did not know anything about her, as Midna nodded. “Yes, let us do that.”</p>
<p>“Great!” clasping his hands together, Ralph stepped away from her again, allowing for the sound of the festivities that were still going on right next to them to stream back into the air between them. “Now, if you will excuse me, I am already missing Nayru again. We have to enjoy the one life we have, don’t we? No matter what, I know that I am going to enjoy every single second of mine, and with how Nayru is without a doubt the best part of it, I don’t want to miss out on any second I might have spent in her presence.” but, despite his words, Ralph still only took a single step away from Midna before pausing to turn around and look back at her again. “Oh, and Midna?”</p>
<p>Deep down, Midna already knew what he was going to tell her, how she had not done enough to hide the fact that they had both been talking about the same person, albeit for quite different reasons, when they had discussed the fact that Ralph would not have to marry the Hyrulean princess anymore. But that did not keep her from at least making an attempt at acting like she was not perfectly aware of what he would say, instead lifting her chin a little as she looked back at him. “Yes?”</p>
<p>The smile he sent her was enough for Midna to know that she was not able to fool him. Still, Ralph was merciful enough to not say it for everyone to hear. Instead, he gave a toss of the head in the direction of a set of double doors as he smiled at her. “Go talk with her! I promise you that you will not regret telling her how you feel.” then, not giving her even a moment to tell him that he had misunderstood, Ralph twirled around with more grace than what the cape should have made possible and began to head over towards Nayru.</p>
<p>She did not leave the ballroom because Ralph had told her to. Midna wished that she was able to convince her that she did, that she did not feel like she was pulled through the hallways of the castle by an invisible force, and that she was only letting her feet carry her in the direction of the tower because she had been told to do so by a prince. But, beneath all the lies and the fear, down where there was only space for the truth, Midna knew that she did not leave the ballroom because of any outside reason—not because she wanted to escape from the noise and the people who continued to treat her like she was some kind of hero, all of them at once acting so much like Zelda had done in the beginning while still being nothing like her, and not because Ralph had advised her to do so—that she was walking towards Zelda’s room because she had to talk with her, because she had to at least make an attempt at trying to explain to her the reasons for why Midna had acted the way she had for the last few days.</p>
<p>The world rushed past her as she all but ran up the stairs. And then it came to a sudden halt as Midna reached out to open the doors, only to find that she stepped into an empty room. It was all it took for the courage she had so painstakingly collected to disappear.</p>
<p>As Midna walked back down the stairs, it felt like the air itself was pushing down on her, making her unable to stand up straight. It was not sign, a message from some goddess Midna was not even sure she really believed in, that she had been too late, that she had spent too much time walking around the castle, feeling sorry for herself. Midna knew that, but it was difficult to remember as she turned around the corner, beginning the long walk back to her room that was not even her own, but rather something she had been allowed to use for the time being, which meant only as long as she made sure that the people of Hyrule would not notice that she did not deserve all of the praise, all the thankyous they sent her way, all the flowers she had been given over the days she had spent at the castle.</p>
<p>She should perhaps have returned to the ballroom to let Link and Ilia know why she was leaving, but the walk back to the other wing of the castle suddenly grew in her head, feeling like a distance that was not meant for a human to be able to walk. They would figure out where she was. Midna had to trust that either Ilia, Ilia with all her advice and kindness, would be able to tell Link the reason for why she had left, or Link would know her well enough to not even have to worry for a second if anything had happened to her. Right now, she would not be able to tell them herself.</p>
<p>“Midna! Wait for me”</p>
<p>Midna was so busy feeling sorry for herself that she almost did not hear how someone called out for her. But the moment before she would have turned around the corner, her mind caught up with what was going on around her. Recognising the voice already before she even realised that it was her own name she had just heard, Midna turned around, trying her best to prepare herself for when she would find herself face to face with Zelda again.</p>
<p>However, no amounts of trying to convince herself that she was really ready to look over at Zelda, to see the way she paused, clearly beginning to question whether it had been right to just yell Midna’s name after her, would have been enough to prepare Midna for finally being so close to her after she had failed to tell her what she wanted to hear, after she had ignored the way Zelda had all but asked her to invite her to come with her when she would leave Hyrule.</p>
<p>Zelda was standing right there, barely ten metres away from her. In her lilac gown, her hair having been pulled up into an intricate hairstyle on top of her head, Midna would not have doubted that she had indeed meant to go to the celebration, but with how much time Midna had spent looking for Zelda, she knew that she had never been there, that Midna had not simply failed to spot her among all the other guests.</p>
<p>And then, the metres between them became seven, became five, became three, two, one, and then only a couple of centimetres, Zelda pausing in front of her, the momentum she had carried when she had hurried over to her, clearly having decided that the only way she would be able to move over to Midna without giving herself the chance to realise how she was making a mistake was by hurrying so much that she almost was not able to slow down in time, nearly sending her crashing into her. But, despite wobbling a bit, Zelda was able to stop in time to instead look up at her.</p>
<p>“So,” Zelda said, bringing an end to the silence, fake politeness in her voice, “I  see that you have left the celebration already.”</p>
<p>If Zelda wanted to pretend that everything was perfect between them, was willing to pretend that Midna might not very well have just made what fragile thing that had grown between them shrivel up and die, Midna could do the same, so, trying her best to mirror Zelda’s stance, the way she was able to relax, Midna returned the little smile. “Yes, I did. Please don’t tell Ilia. I don’t think she will be glad that I left without telling her.” she also would not be glad once she heard about the reason for why Midna had not talked about Zelda for the past several days, avoiding the subject whenever it would be brought up with what Midna hoped might have been at least a hint of tactfulness but knew was more likely a not at all subtle hint that something was wrong between them, but Midna did not mention that. There was no reason to make Zelda feel like she was in any way responsible for the fact that Midna was bad at making decisions about her own life.</p>
<p>“Oh, no, don’t worry about that. If you don’t want me to tell her, then I will make sure to let this stay between us.” for a moment, Zelda smiled at her acting almost like nothing had happened, but then it all came rushing back, falling over them just like nightfall, making Zelda look down towards where she might have been able to see her feet if she had still been wearing the trousers she had worn while living with them at the base, clearly searching for something to say.</p>
<p>In the end, Midna could almost feel how Zelda only looked up, only spoke, because, despite everything else, the horrible silence between them was worse than any awkwardness that might occur if they made the wrong move, all of that and so much more present in her voice. “But, Midna may I ask why you did not feel like staying there anymore? From what I heard, almost everyone who was able to make it to Castle Town in time for the celebration was there.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” because she had not felt at home in the castle ever since she and Zelda had stopped talking. “I suppose it felt a bit too crowded for me.” because Midna knew that, if she wanted to remain true to her plans for herself, she would have to leave by tomorrow morning, and the thought of leaving without having told Zelda the truth about why she had left so suddenly made her heart ache. “That, and I also did not know how to dance.” because Midna was in love with her, but knew that she had ruined anything that might once have been between them with the way her instinctive reaction to the idea of letting someone come close to her was to push them away before the intimacy of realising that she cared for someone would get the chance to hurt her. “I don’t really know. Take you pick from those explanations.”</p>
<p>“Midna…” Zelda said her name almost like it was something precious, “I—if you are worried because you do not know how to dance, well… I am sure that I could teach you a thing or two, although it would, admittedly, not be in time for you to be able to make it back to the festivities.”</p>
<p>It was an invitation, Midna could hear it. She knew that Zelda was not asking her to dance, or that it was at least about so much more than that.</p>
<p>But if she was just able to force herself to look at Zelda and only hear what she said, making herself believe, even if it was only for a moment, that Zelda was merely offering to teach her how to dance, then Midna was able to open her mouth, gaining the ability to speak. “I would like that very much. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“It is nothing,” Zelda responded.</p>
<p>Already, Midna hoped that she was lying. She wanted so badly for it to mean something, for the way Zelda reached out, hesitating for a moment before leading Midna’s towards the side of the hallway, showing her how she was supposed to place one hand near her waist, throwing the other over her shoulder, to be more than just her proving that she could still be polite to her.</p>
<p>They moved around like that for a moment, Zelda taking a step back and Midna following her, never moving more than a metre away from the spot where they had begun. Midna did not even have to think about the way she had seen some of the women twirling around inside the ballroom, the combination of silk, satin, and wool sweeping over the floor, the women laughing just as warmly no matter the fabric of their dress, to know that this, the way she was tripping back and forth, trying her best to avoid getting lost in Zelda’s eyes, was nothing like the impressive dances she had seen back there.</p>
<p>“Midna—”</p>
<p>“Zelda, I—”</p>
<p>The words filled the air at the same time, Zelda moving her head a little, a faint chuckle bubbling up from her chest as she finally looked over at Midna with a little joy in her eyes. “I am sorry. Do you want to begin?”</p>
<p>Midna really didn’t, but she knew that one of them would have to be the first to bring an end to the uneasy feelings that had been between them for those last couple of days, so she swallowed all the objections her mind was already providing her with, instead nodding at her. “Yes, I… I know that you are probably going to tell me that everything is all right, that I have nothing to worry about the moment I finish speaking, and, as thankful as I am for that—because, believe me, I know that I do not deserve that—I just want to ask you to let me speak and not to interrupt me until I am finished with my apology.”</p>
<p>“Apology?” Zelda frowned. “Midna, there is no need for—”</p>
<p>“Yes. Yes, there is actually a need for me to apologise for the way I have acted for the last few days. So, please, will you promise me that you will let me finish? Then, we can begin to argue about whether or not the apology was needed.”</p>
<p>A moment passed, Zelda looking almost like she was on the verge of denying her that much. It was both what Midna feared and what she wished for, a way for her to escape, not having to face the fact that she knew deep down that she had made a mistake, that she had made a long series of mistakes, all of them born of the belief that everything might have been better for the people around her if they had not been unlucky enough to meet her, unlucky enough for Midna to pull them directly into her life, making it so that her problems became their problems as well. But, with how Midna knew that she would not be able to leave tomorrow if she did not tell her this now, at least not without regretting it for the rest of her life, regretting both the fact that she had left Zelda behind in the exact place she did not want to be in, as well as the way she would no longer be able to wake up in the morning, already knowing that Zelda was only a few metres away from her, she found the strength not to choose the easy path.</p>
<p>And then Zelda nodded. “All right. If you want me to wait until you are finished with your own apology, then that is what I will do.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Midna had feared that she would find herself without the words necessary to let Zelda know how she was regretting the way she had allowed the last couple of days to pass by without the two of them getting the chance to talk to one another, but as she stood there, almost pressed up against the wide skirts of Zelda’s dress, the two of them having stopped moving a long time ago, instead standing still in a deserted hallway in a remote part of the castle, she found that the words came to her. Rather than her having to fight not to give up, allowing herself to choose the cowardly way out of the situation, they rushed to her, almost pushing to make her allow them to move out of her mind and into the world. “I just… I wanted to apologise to you for the way I have acted for the last couple of days. I know that it was not right, and—”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologise for anything,” Zelda said, only pausing as Midna sent her a glance.</p>
<p>“I knew that you were going to tell me that. I knew right from the very beginning that the moment I would try to explain to you that I knew that what I had done was wrong, you would immediately try to assure me that I had been right to act that way, that my behaviour was somehow justified. Which is also part of the reason for why I knew that I would not be able to pretend that nothing had happened. You—” Midna nodded towards her, hoping that it would be enough to get her meaning across. She did not dare to move her hands even a little, not when she was finally feeling like she was able to stay close to Zelda without running away. “I suppose that I was afraid.”</p>
<p>“Afraid of what?” Zelda asked, before her eyes became wide again, the little, jerky motion of her hands letting Midna know that maybe in a different world, Zelda would have moved to cover her mouth with her hand. Now, she simply sent her a little shake of the head. “I am sorry. I know that I had just promised—”</p>
<p>“No, it is all right. It was a dumb promise anyway. Really, I should know enough about you by now to realise that you would not be able to stay quiet.” that comment, the poor attempt at humour, finally earned her a smile, but Midna forced herself not to spend too much time thinking about it, instead making sure that she would say what she had to let Zelda know before she would lose what little courage the smile had given her. “Zelda, that was among the reasons for why I left the way I did Sunday.”</p>
<p>“What?” Zelda drew her brows together. “That I am unable to stay quiet while you insult yourself?”</p>
<p>“No, that you are just—well, the way you are. That you always believe in the best in everyone, even me.”</p>
<p>“Well, give me a reason for why I should not do that, and then I will stop immediately.”</p>
<p>Even trying to imagine a place where Zelda would not always be the first to look at Midna and think that she was a hero, unselfish and self-sacrificing, was almost more than what Midna could take, but she forced the tears back. She had to focus, now was not a time for tears, not when she had a feeling that she would get plenty of time to cry later. So, trying and failing horribly at sounding calm, Midna looked down at Zelda and shook her head. “See, that is exactly what I am talking about. I suppose that I was scared that you were going to wake up one day and realise that you had made a mistake back… that day in your room. I was afraid that, if you would come with me, if I had asked you if you would do me the honour of leaving this place with me, you would wake up one day and realise that you had made a mistake. In the end, I suppose that I was afraid that I would lose you, that it was inevitable, making it so that it would be better, more merciful, for both of us if I just got it over with immediately.”</p>
<p>She had promised herself that she would not cry, that she would not break down completely, showing Zelda that, despite the first impression she might have got of her, Midna really was not as cold as she had wanted to believe she was. But as Zelda let out a little sound, almost a whimper, Midna could see how the colours became fuzzy around her, her eyes stinging as the tears began to stream down her cheeks.</p>
<p>“Midna…”</p>
<p>The next thing Midna knew, Zelda had pulled into an embrace so tight that it felt like she would never let go of her again, the sheer strength behind the hug making it so that, even though Midna was tall enough to make Zelda have to turn her head to the side to avoid colliding with her shoulder, Midna felt much smaller than her in that moment.</p>
<p>Stroking her hair, Zelda continued. “I am not going to leave you—not as long as I am still able to stay with you. I thought you knew that.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Midna was not sure how she was able to get the word out. “I know. I know that I am not supposed to feel like this, I knew the second you left me back then that everything would have been perfect between us if I had just been able to act like a normal person for two seconds without losing it completely and pushing everyone away, but I just—I could not make myself go back to you, not when I knew that I had already hurt you once. I thought that it would be easier for both of us if I just let you go, freeing you from having to reach the conclusion that I am not a very likeable person on your own and then having to tell me that you want to leave.”</p>
<p>“Whoa, Midna, how long have you felt like this?” Zelda’s voice grew lower, more concerned, but even as Midna tried to focus on her face, she was unable to make out the exact details, tears making the world blur in front of her.</p>
<p>However, she was still able to talk, so that was that she did. “I don’t know. For—well, for years, I think.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>And that was really all any of them would ever have been able to say. Oh. What else was there to say when faced with the fact that, even though she was sometimes able to pretend otherwise, Midna really was the first person to turn away and leave any situation that might have brought her to a place where she would have to be honest about how she felt?</p>
<p>But Zelda did not let it end there, instead continuing, leaning closer towards Midna again, holding her so tightly that it felt almost like she had convinced herself that she would be able to change all of this, that she might be able to make it so that Midna would actually be able to, for just a few seconds, act like she was supposed to do, rather than turning around and leaving nothing but a shattered reflection of what might have been behind her, murmuring the words to her, soft and yet so loud that Midna would not have been able not to hear it. “I wouldn’t leave you. Not as long as I would be able to stay with you.”</p>
<p>She was barely able to keep herself from scoffing, having to remind herself that this was not Zelda’s fault, that, really, if Midna wanted to be angry, she had only herself to thank for the fact that she was now standing here, in this situation. “Everyone is bound to leave sooner or later.”</p>
<p>“Midna… let me ask you, did you think that as well back in my room? Where you thinking that I was going to leave in the end back then, did you believe that the moment was only a tiny glimpse of what could have been, that it would not be able to last?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” the answer came promptly. Midna did not even have to recall the way it had felt so important to memorise every little detail of what it had felt like to kiss Zelda to know that it was true. “Yes, I did think that it was going to end soon, that such happiness could not last.”</p>
<p>Zelda let out a little, whimpering sound, the realisation that she had just brought her close to tears making Midna’s stomach turn. But then, before she got the chance to react, Zelda had moved, bringing her hands op to rest against her cheeks, Zelda rising to stand on the tip of her toes. It was not quite enough to bring her up to the same level as Midna as she looked directly into her eyes, into her soul, but there was such an intensity behind it that Midna did not really notice it, not when Zelda leant in, bringing her forehead to rest against hers. “I… I know that this will not change how it was back then, but I can assure you that I was not thinking that it was going to end. I wished that it would last forever, that I would never have to let go of you again.”</p>
<p>“So did I.” Midna could hear the frustration seep into her voice as it became clear that, despite the fact that she had already said too much, telling Zelda much more than she would have liked to, she still did not understand. “It’s just—I am sorry, but it is complicated.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps, but it doesn’t have to be.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Zelda laughed, the sound dying a second later, making way for the frustration Midna had been able to feel just beneath the surface for so much of their conversation. “That I am standing here in front of you, telling you that I did not wish for it to end, that I wanted nothing more than to be able to come with you when you leave this castle again, and yet, you still refuse to accept the fact that it might be true.”</p>
<p>“I am not saying that it isn’t true!” Midna protested.</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” Zelda cocked her head. “Well, then what are you doing? Because that it what it sounds like to me.”</p>
<p>“I am—I am just…” but she could not find the words.</p>
<p>Really, Midna doubted that there were even enough words to allow her to try to explain to Zelda what it had felt like to know that everything she could ever have wanted might be within her reach after years of believing that she would die at an early age, meeting her end alone and afraid, and know that, even now, she would not be able to reach out and achieve it, that the thing that had done the most to keep her from finding happiness was not an outside force, but rather herself.</p>
<p>“It is complicated. I—I suppose it is just easier to give up before it has even happened. That way, I will not have to wonder about what could have been.” it was a lie, Midna knew that already before the words had left her mouth, bringing back the memories of how Zelda had smiled, the way she had reacted instinctively the moment Midna had been in danger, standing up to her brother despite the dangers of doing so.</p>
<p>“Really?” Zelda lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t think about what might have been every single day?”</p>
<p>“I…”</p>
<p>“Forget about it. You don’t owe me an answer. I suppose I just wanted to talk with you for a moment.”</p>
<p>She was going to leave. Midna could feel it. In just a couple of seconds, Zelda would let go of her, turn around and walk towards her chamber. It did not take much for Midna to realise that if she did that, she would not let her in, instead keeping to herself and only coming back out when Midna had already left the castle. She could not let it come to that. The force of knowing that, that despite what might happen, she could not just stand by and watch herself push Zelda further away from her, was stronger than everything else, forcing the cry through her throat, out of her mouth and into the air between them.</p>
<p>“Zelda, wait!”</p>
<p>“Yes?” Zelda might still be standing right in front of her, but mentally she had clearly already begun the process of turning around, saying goodbye to Midna.</p>
<p>“I am sorry. For everything. I—I don’t want to leave. I mean, of course I do want to leave this place, but I really do not want to leave you, especially not when it is like this between us.” Midna had thought that it would be all she would be able to say before her throat would close up again, but it seemed that once she had begun, she was not able to bring herself to stop again, the words continuing to spill from her lips. “Back then, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me, I wanted to know that we would leave this place together, that we would remain close to each other, but… well, what can I really say that will not make me sound like I am unable to read any situation?” she shrugged, hoping that the tiny chuckle did not sound like the sob it felt like it should have been replaced by. “It did not feel right to ask that much of you, not when I knew that I was… that I was the way I am.”</p>
<p>The silence between them was mortifying, making each second feel like it should have been her last, but then, finally, Zelda opened her mouth, the way her voice trembled a little making it clear that Midna was not the only one struggling with keeping back the tears. “And what if I had wanted to ask you if I could come along, but did not want to risk having to look at you while you stared at me, knowing that you were wondering how I could ever have thought that you would want me to come with you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. We would both be quite stupid then, I suppose.”</p>
<p>“Indeed. I would have to ask myself what I had done to trick everyone in the country into thinking that I had ever done anything to deserve being known as one of the wisest persons within the castle.”</p>
<p>“But you would have said yes, had I just asked?” Midna was not sure why she asked, not when it should be clear to everyone how her chance of actually asking Zelda, of opening her mouth and trying to communicate with her rather than just assuming the worst, had passed a long time ago.</p>
<p>“I would not even have had to think twice to know that I wanted to come with you.”</p>
<p>Midna did not know who initiated the kiss. All she knew was that, in that moment, she did not worry about how she would have to memorise each little detail of it. There was no need for it; she did not have to try her best to remember the exact way Zelda reached out, halfway placing her hands on her shoulder to be able to pull herself up to meet her lips, halfway to pull Midna down a little. It was all right, she had time and she would have time after this. For once, Midna was able to let go of the feeling of it all being nothing more than a moment of stolen happiness, letting go of the feeling that told her that no matter how pleasant all of this might feel, it would not last forever to instead enjoy the moment.</p>
<p>It could have lasted hours, maybe just a second. All Midna knew was that they were both crying when Zelda let go of her, moving back down to stand normally, though she had a feeling that, just like herself, Zelda was not crying because she was sad as much as it was a reaction to the fact that, maybe, everything might turn out all right after all.</p>
<p>“Midna…?” Zelda’s voice was small, barely more than a loud whisper as she looked up at her, but Midna was still able to hear each and every single word as loudly as it would have been if someone had yelled directly into her ear.</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“Do you think that there might be space for another passenger on the Shadow when you leave?”</p>
<p>“That depends. Who would this passenger be? Because if it is Ilia, I think that I would have to also grow used to the idea of bringing half of the country along with how many friends she found at the celebration.”</p>
<p>Zelda laughed, the sound of it seeming almost broken, though, this time, it was not because it should really have been a sob, but rather because she shook her head at her. “No, it is not Ilia I was thinking about.”</p>
<p>“Well, who was it then?”</p>
<p>Reaching out to take her hands, Zelda pulled Midna closer to her. That, or else she brought herself closer to Midna, there really was no way to know which one of the two options was the truth, not as Zelda looked up at her and spoke. “Me.”</p>
<p>It was so tempting to try to make fun of the situation, to try to trick herself into thinking that, right then, it did not feel like she might as well have stopped breathing, but, somehow, in some inexplicable way, Midna was able to push down the instinctive urge to respond to any difficult situation by making fun of it, to instead smile at Zelda, hoping that she was able to see the joy that shone through. “If it is you, I know that there will always be a place for you there.”</p>
<p>Once more, Midna was not sure who was the first of them to move, to lean in and kiss the other. All she knew was that it felt like the moment would never end.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>+++</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Promise me that you will remember to visit us!”</p>
<p>With how tightly Ilia had wrapped her arms around her, acting almost like she was entertaining the thought of never letting go of her again, forcing her to stay with them right there for the rest of their lives, Midna found it almost surprising that she still had air enough to force out an answer. “Of course I am going to visit you again from time to time. Who else would you be able to complain to whenever Link does something rash?”</p>
<p>Ilia laughed through the tears. “Exactly! I need you to come back here every single week, just to make sure that I will be able to remind someone other than him to take care of themselves! You know, maybe it would be better if you did not leave just yet, even if you only stayed for a couple of more months, I know that it would be a greater help for me than you could ever imagine.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Midna tried to chuckle, but it sounded almost flat as she felt the moment where she would have to move away from her, where she would have to let go of Ilia to climb up onto the deck of the Shadow with Zelda, approach. “I am just that amazing, I suppose. But don’t worry; I am sure that you will be able to figure something out without me. If not, then I suppose that you will just have to wait for when Zelda and I have seen what lies beyond the Twilight Realm. That, or plan for you and Link to get married soon, because I promise you that I will not miss that for anything in the world, not with how great you seem to be at taking care of making sure that I have an unlimited supply of food at gatherings.”</p>
<p>Before Ilia got the chance to do anything other than making another attempt at wiping away the tears, trying her best to force herself not to cry, Link came over to them. Placing an arm around Ilia’s waist, he looked over at Midna, directing a lopsided smile towards her. “What is it I hear about Ilia and me getting married?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I was just telling Ilia that if she really wants to make sure that I will come back soon, then she would have to hurry up and ask you the big question.”</p>
<p>Link shook his head at her, sending a short glance over at Ilia, the two of them pausing for a moment as they almost seemed to melt towards the other. Then, clearly being brought back to the moment by the little cough Midna tried to make discreet enough to not have everyone turn around to look at her while still letting it be enough to let Link know that she was still standing right there, that she had not disappeared just because he and Ilia seemed to have disappeared into their own world where it was only the two of them, he looked back over at her, sending her a grin. “Midna, as much as I am going to miss you, I can assure you that when Ilia and I marry, it will be for more than just to have an excuse to force you to come back to be with us for the entirety of the duration of the celebration.”</p>
<p>Placing her hand over her heart, Midna tried her best to hide the wide smile on her face, instead trying to look hurt. “You wound me. How dare you try to tell me that you are not thinking about getting married solely to gain a reason to have me come back here?”</p>
<p>But it was Ilia rather than Link who answered. Moving towards Midna, just enough to be able to poke her in the side, staying close to Link through it all, she laughed at her. “Well, when it happens, you better believe that I am going to make certain that the ceremony will last a month just to be able to ask you to stay with us for several weeks in revenge for how you are leaving us now!”</p>
<p>Unable to see how much of it was just Ilia trying her best to make them both smile, wanting their goodbye to be a happy occasion rather than a reason to cry, Midna raised an eyebrow. “I will keep that in mind.”</p>
<p>For a moment, she thought that Ilia was going to say something, was going to pull her in for another hug, but then, taking a step backwards, Ilia nodded instead. “Good, then it is settled then. Once Link and I marry, you and Zelda will have to come back here to stay with us for at least a month. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go tell Zelda that you have already promised me that!” the next moment, Ilia had moved past Midna, pushing her way through the crowd that had gathered around the ship to get to where Zelda was talking with Ashei, the captain clearly trying her best to keep back the tears but struggling more and more as the seconds passed, bringing them closer to the one where Midna would take to the sky alongside Zelda.</p>
<p>That left her alone with Link.</p>
<p>It was strange, really. Midna had known that she would have to say goodbye to him. She had known right from the very moment she had made the choice that she did not want to stay in Castle Town, that she would not be able to accept the offer Nabooru had extended towards every former resident of the base to make it so that they would have somewhere to stay in the town, Midna having tried her best to explain to her how she would not be able to stay in a place where everyone would still look at her like she had single-handedly saved the entire world, only for Nabooru to interrupt her, cutting in to tell her that she understood, that Midna had nothing to apologise for, that leaving would also mean having to say goodbye to Link. But it was almost like the full extent of it had not dawned on her until that very moment, like it had always been something Midna knew would have to happen, but had not really allowed herself to picture until she found herself with no choice other than to confront it. After everything they had been through together, after the way she had first reached out towards the only person her age she had found on the streets, deciding to share what little food she had with him, the two of them soon realising that it would be easier for both of them to survive if they worked together, it had begun to feel almost like saying goodbye would just be yet another word, that they would not leave each other, not really.</p>
<p>Maybe they would still not do it, or at least that was what Midna hoped as she stood there, neither of them moving to say a single word to the other. Maybe she would not really have to try to grow used to the idea of knowing that Link was far away from her, of no longer having the comfort of knowing that, even if he was not always the most talkative person, he would still be there for her, ready to try to help her however he could.</p>
<p>Perhaps Link was thinking the same thing. Midna hoped it was the case, for, if not, she could not imagine how awkward she would have felt.</p>
<p>And then, his voice almost breaking, Link made a little sound and moved towards her, almost reaching out as if to bring her into an embrace that would have been able to rival Ilia’s, but stopping himself the moment before he would have taken her hand to instead smile at her, a look in his eyes that Midna knew as well as she knew herself.</p>
<p>“Well…” he said, digging his boot into the gravel on the ground, “I suppose that we will have to say goodbye now.”</p>
<p>Perhaps that was what they should have done. Midna already knew that it might have been the easiest thing to do, to hug him and try to forget about him the moment she was back in her usual spot behind the rudder of the Shadow. But right in that moment, all Midna was able to think about was how she did not want to have to say goodbye, that she did not want to have to grow used to the idea of letting go of the person who had been her closest friend for so many years.</p>
<p>And so, rather than repeating his words back at him, Midna shook her head. “No, not goodbye,” she said.</p>
<p>Link did not even look surprised. Midna supposed she should have expected that much from him, that she should have known how he would not even find her response confusing, instead just sending her a sad smile. “Well, then what do you want to say then?”</p>
<p>“That I will see you later?” Midna could hear how her voice rose on the last word, the tears finally making their way to her voice as well, but she refused to try to stop them. If she would have to cry now, if she would have to lose her ability to control her feelings, then that was what she would let happen.</p>
<p>For a moment, Link simply stared at her, looking almost like he could not believe what she was saying, but then he smiled at her, the gesture small and almost non-existent at first, but soon becoming a real smile as he nodded. “You are right. Let’s not say goodbye. I will look forward to seeing you later, Midna.”</p>
<p>“As will I.”</p>
<p>There was nothing more for any of them to say, not now that Midna was able to instead see every single thing neither of them had wanted to put into words, making it so that the rest of the people who had gathered to say goodbye might have been able to overhear it, reflected in Link’s eyes as he looked at her.</p>
<p>So, rather than making herself feel even sadder by continuing to stay right next to those she would be leaving behind, Midna turned around and began to make her way over to the ship, only pausing for a moment as she reached Zelda who had just then been able to convince Ashei that she would be all right.</p>
<p>It felt almost like they might have been alone despite the fact that half of Castle Town must have come to say goodbye to them when Midna leant towards her to whisper to her. “Are you coming?”</p>
<p>“I am.”</p>
<p>It seemed like Zelda was thinking the same thing as she took Midna’s hand, letting her lead her the last couple of metres towards the airship, not taking her gaze off her for even a moment.</p>
<p>As Midna stood there on the deck, looking out at the crowd below them and seeing how Link was standing with an arm around Ilia, Ilia waving up at them with tears in her eyes when she noticed that Midna was looking at her, spotting Rusl who was smiling towards them from his spot near the entrance to the castle, Colin and Uli standing right beside him, Uli holding their little daughter in her arms, she almost felt like there was nothing in the world that could have brought the moment any closer to perfection. But then Zelda was by her side, and although there was still a couple of centimetres of air between them, too much space when compared with what Midna had preferred, as Zelda rested her head against her shoulder, waving at the people who soon became little more than tiny dots as the balloon above them filled with warm air, lifting them off the ground, it was the happiest Midna had felt in as long as she could remember.</p>
<p>The town grew smaller beneath them, and yet, they did not look away.</p>
<p>But if they had, they would have seen how the snow was melting, the water dripping from the trees in the forest below them.</p>
<p>Spring had finally arrived.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>With the fanfiction being finished, I just want to say thank you to everyone who read this! This was the biggest project I have ever worked on, so thank you so much to anyone who interacted with this - it really meant a lot to me :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads this. If you want to, you can follow this link to <a href="https://theseventhsage.tumblr.com/">my Tumblr</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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